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Autocommit Fri Nov 29 19:32:39 NZDT 2013

Your wig steers the gig.
		-- Lord Buckley
Autocommit Fri Nov 29 19:34:39 NZDT 2013

	Cosmotronic Software Unlimited Inc. does not warrant that the
functions contained in the program will meet your requirements or that
the operation of the program will be uninterrupted or error-free.
	However, Cosmotronic Software Unlimited Inc. warrants the
diskette(s) on which the program is furnished to be of black color and
square shape under normal use for a period of ninety (90) days from the
date of purchase.
	NOTE: IN NO EVENT WILL COSMOTRONIC SOFTWARE UNLIMITED OR ITS
DISTRIBUTORS AND THEIR DEALERS BE LIABLE TO YOU FOR ANY DAMAGES, INCLUDING
ANY LOST PROFIT, LOST SAVINGS, LOST PATIENCE OR OTHER INCIDENTAL OR
CONSEQUENTIAL DAMAGES.
		-- Horstmann Software Design, the 'ChiWriter' user manual
Autocommit Fri Nov 29 20:00:39 NZDT 2013

After two or three weeks of this madness, you begin to feel As One with
the man who said, 'No news is good news.' In twenty-eight papers, only
the rarest kind of luck will turn up more than two or three articles of
any interest...  but even then the interest items are usually buried deep
around paragraph 16 on the jump (or 'Cont.  on ...') page...

The Post will have a story about Muskie making a speech in Iowa.  The
Star will say the same thing, and the Journal will say nothing at all.
But the Times might have enough room on the jump page to include a line
or so that says something like: 'When he finished his speech, Muskie
burst into tears and seized his campaign manager by the side of the neck.
They grappled briefly, but the struggle was kicked apart by an oriental
woman who seemed to be in control.'

Now that's good journalism.  Totally objective; very active and straight
to the point.
		-- Hunter S. Thompson, 'Fear and Loathing '72'
Autocommit Fri Nov 29 20:04:39 NZDT 2013

Why you say you no bunny rabbit when you have little powder-puff tail?
		-- The Tasmanian Devil
Autocommit Fri Nov 29 20:07:39 NZDT 2013

'Mind if I smoke?'
	'I don't care if you burst into flames and die!'
Autocommit Fri Nov 29 20:08:39 NZDT 2013

You know it's going to be a long day when you get up, shave and shower,
start to get dressed and your shoes are still warm.
		-- Dean Webber
Autocommit Fri Nov 29 20:09:39 NZDT 2013

Life is a gamble at terrible odds, if it was a bet you wouldn't take it.
		-- Tom Stoppard, 'Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead'
Autocommit Fri Nov 29 21:12:39 NZDT 2013

I'm a GENIUS!  I want to dispute sentence structure with SUSAN SONTAG!!