Use a worker pool thread model to process rdma notices
worker pool: rework signals with flags and small optim on fast path
Split lock into ctx and cm locks + some lock fixes on connection errors
init: pointer argument not modified on failure + fix one non-destroy case
One more lock fix...
make timed versions of msk_accept_one
build cleanup: options where they ought to be, stop trying to build mooshika_shm
clean arguments in rcat/rmitm alot, make worker threads optional at runtime