Connection retries to shutdown node, see #3326

* In EC2 connection time out is around 1 minute. A few messages
  were sent after quarantining and these caused endless restarts,
  and connect attempts with 1 minute interval.
* This change makes sure that the endpoint is stopped after the first
  failed connection attempt.
* Changed default settings for netty connection-timeout, and matching
  retry window to allow for 3 restarts