I did this because I wanted to be smart, now I know I quite stupid. The reasoning behind this was that calling a direct method had to be faster, right?... RIGHT?

Well, it turns out I was wrong: https://gist.github.com/lorenzo/6291721

    direct-call
       => 6.9625508785248
    magic
       => 5.5996179580688

I will change it to normal function call.