Autocommit Sun Dec 15 11:36:23 NZDT 2013

Absent, adj.:
	Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed; slandered.
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 11:37:15 NZDT 2013

Madison's Inquiry:
	If you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first class?
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 11:40:15 NZDT 2013

I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.
		-- William F. Buckley
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 11:41:15 NZDT 2013

	Obviously the subject of death was in the air, but more as something
to be avoided than harped upon.
	Possibly the horror that Zaphod experienced at the prospect of being
reunited with his deceased relatives led on to the thought that they might
just feel the same way about him and, what's more, be able to do something
about helping to postpone this reunion.
		-- Douglas Adams
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 11:43:15 NZDT 2013

Gomme's Laws:
	(1) A backscratcher will always find new itches.
	(2) Time accelerates.
	(3) The weather at home improves as soon as you go away.
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 11:47:15 NZDT 2013

If you can survive death, you can probably survive anything.
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 11:48:15 NZDT 2013

Here I am again right where I know I shouldn't be
I've been caught inside this trap too many times
I must've walked these steps and said these words a
	thousand times before
It seems like I know everybody's lines.
		-- David Bromberg, 'How Late'll You Play 'Til?'
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 12:04:15 NZDT 2013

	'I said I hope it is a good party,' said Galder, loudly.
	'AT THE MOMENT IT IS,' said Death levelly.  'I THINK IT MIGHT GO
DOWNHILL VERY QUICKLY AT MIDNIGHT.'
	'Why?'
	'THAT'S WHEN THEY THINK I'LL BE TAKING MY MASK OFF.'
		-- Terry Pratchett, 'The Light Fantastic'
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 12:07:15 NZDT 2013

comment:
	A superfluous element of a source program included so the
	programmer can remember what the hell it was he was doing
	six months later.  Only the weak-minded need them, according
	to those who think they aren't.
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 12:10:15 NZDT 2013

Your computer account is overdrawn.  Please see Big Brother.
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 12:12:15 NZDT 2013

Once he had one leg in the White House and the nation trembled under his
roars.  Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the
forlorn pastors who belabor halfwits in galvanized iron tabernacles behind
the railroad yards.'
		-- H.L. Mencken, writing of William Jennings Bryan,
		   counsel for the supporters of Tennessee's anti-evolution
		   law at the Scopes 'Monkey Trial' in 1925.
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 12:14:15 NZDT 2013

Obviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 12:16:15 NZDT 2013

Software entities are more complex for their size than perhaps any other human
construct because no two parts are alike.  If they are, we make the two
similar parts into a subroutine -- open or closed.  In this respect, software
systems differ profoundly from computers, buildings, or automobiles, where
repeated elements abound.
- Fred Brooks, Jr.
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 12:17:15 NZDT 2013

Old soldiers never die.  Young ones do.
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 12:18:15 NZDT 2013

Since I hurt my pendulum
My life is all erratic.
My parrot who was cordial
Is now transmitting static.
The carpet died, a palm collapsed,
The cat keeps doing poo.
The only thing that keeps me sane
Is talking to my shoe.
		-- My Shoe
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 12:41:15 NZDT 2013

... at least I thought I was dancing, 'til somebody stepped on my hand.
		-- J. B. White
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 12:45:15 NZDT 2013

Emerson's Law of Contrariness:
	Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we
	can.  Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 12:48:15 NZDT 2013

No one regards what is before his feet; we all gaze at the stars.
		-- Quintus Ennius
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 12:50:15 NZDT 2013

In the pitiful, multipage, connection-boxed form to which the flowchart has
today been elaborated, it has proved to be useless as a design tool --
programmers draw flowcharts after, not before, writing the programs they
describe.
- Fred Brooks, Jr.
Autocommit Sun Dec 15 12:52:15 NZDT 2013

	When managers hold endless meetings, the programmers write games.
When accountants talk of quarterly profits, the development budget is about
to be cut.  When senior scientists talk blue sky, the clouds are about to
roll in.
	Truly, this is not the Tao of Programming.
	When managers make commitments, game programs are ignored.  When
accountants make long-range plans, harmony and order are about to be restored.
When senior scientists address the problems at hand, the problems will soon
be solved.
	Truly, this is the Tao of Programming.
		-- Geoffrey James, 'The Tao of Programming'