Autocommit Mon Nov 25 19:19:50 NZDT 2013

Kramer's Law:
	You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the tracks.
Autocommit Mon Nov 25 19:21:50 NZDT 2013

Q:	How many elephants can you fit in a VW Bug?
A:	Four.  Two in the front, two in the back.

Q:	How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
A:	There's a footprint in the mayo.

Q:	How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:	There's two footprints in the mayo.

Q:	How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:	The door won't shut.

Q:	How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
A:	There's a VW Bug in your driveway.
Autocommit Mon Nov 25 19:22:50 NZDT 2013

Chism's Law of Completion:
	The amount of time required to complete a government project is
	precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.
Autocommit Mon Nov 25 19:24:50 NZDT 2013

NATHAN ... your PARENTS were in a CARCRASH!!  They're VOIDED -- They
COLLAPSED They had no CHAINSAWS ... They had no MONEY MACHINES ... They
did PILLS in SKIMPY GRASS SKIRTS ... Nathan, I EMULATED them ... but
they were OFF-KEY ...
Autocommit Mon Nov 25 19:25:50 NZDT 2013

There's nothing like the face of a kid eating a Hershey bar.
Autocommit Mon Nov 25 19:27:50 NZDT 2013

Or you or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes.  I would rather it were you.
I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare yours, but
we take stock next week, and it would not be fair on the company.
		-- J. Wellington Wells
Autocommit Mon Nov 25 19:36:50 NZDT 2013

A person who is more than casually interested in computers should be well
schooled in machine language, since it is a fundamental part of a computer.
		-- Donald Knuth
Autocommit Mon Nov 25 19:37:50 NZDT 2013

Seeing is believing.  You wouldn't have seen it if you hadn't believed it.
Autocommit Mon Nov 25 19:40:50 NZDT 2013

What causes the mysterious death of everyone?
Autocommit Mon Nov 25 19:48:50 NZDT 2013

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents'
shortcomings.
		-- Laurence J. Peter, 'Peter's Principles'
Autocommit Mon Nov 25 19:49:50 NZDT 2013

Mother Earth is not flat!
Autocommit Wed Nov 27 19:43:38 NZDT 2013

Concerning the war in Vietnam, Senator George Aiken of Vermount noted
in January, 1966, 'I'm not very keen for doves or hawks.  I think we need
more owls.'
		-- Bill Adler, 'The Washington Wits'