Autocommit Sun Nov 24 19:59:21 NZDT 2013

Humor in the Court:
Q.  Were you aquainted with the deceased?
A.  Yes, sir.
Q.  Before or after he died?
Autocommit Sun Nov 24 20:02:12 NZDT 2013

'I don't understand,' said the scientist, 'why you lemmings all rush down
to the sea and drown yourselves.'

'How curious,' said the lemming. 'The one thing I don't understand is why
you human beings don't.'
		-- James Thurber
Autocommit Sun Nov 24 20:29:12 NZDT 2013

Heisenberg may have slept here...
Autocommit Sun Nov 24 20:32:12 NZDT 2013

The great merit of society is to make one appreciate solitude.
		-- Charles Chincholles, 'Reflections on the Art of Life'
Autocommit Sun Nov 24 20:34:12 NZDT 2013

Shedenhelm's Law:
	All trails have more uphill sections than they have downhill sections.
Autocommit Sun Nov 24 20:46:12 NZDT 2013

A consultant is a person who borrows your watch, tells you what time it
is, pockets the watch, and sends you a bill for it.
Autocommit Sun Nov 24 21:00:12 NZDT 2013

	During a fight, a husband threw a bowl of Jello at his wife.  She had
him arrested for carrying a congealed weapon.
	In another fight, the wife decked him with a heavy glass pitcher.
She's a women who conks to stupor.
Autocommit Sun Nov 24 21:03:12 NZDT 2013

Arithmetic:
	An obscure art no longer practiced in the world's developed countries.
Autocommit Sun Nov 24 21:16:12 NZDT 2013

The water was not fit to drink.  To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey.
By diligent effort, I learned to like it.
		-- Winston Churchill
Autocommit Sun Nov 24 21:20:12 NZDT 2013

'Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.'
-- Albert Einstein
Autocommit Sun Nov 24 21:21:12 NZDT 2013

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
		-- Erma Bombeck
Autocommit Sun Nov 24 21:22:12 NZDT 2013

As the system comes up, the component builders will from time to time appear,
bearing hot new versions of their pieces -- faster, smaller, more complete,
or putatively less buggy.  The replacement of a working component by a new
version requires the same systematic testing procedure that adding a new
component does, although it should require less time, for more complete and
efficient test cases will usually be available.
- Frederick Brooks Jr., 'The Mythical Man Month'
Autocommit Sun Nov 24 21:23:12 NZDT 2013

Thank you for observing all safety precautions.
Autocommit Sun Nov 24 21:24:12 NZDT 2013

I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the
whole field to private industry.
		-- Joseph Heller