Further attempts to prevent race conditions on slow hardware [IMMUTANT-319]

This adds even more coordination to destination start/stop. It's gone
beyond gross to downright ridiculous. I'd love to rip this all out and
start over at some point.
Don't spin forever [IMMUTANT-319]

Also includes a typo fix.
Update polyglot to 0.x.incremental.14
Rework messaging destination start/restart to use external synchronization.

This consolidates the ref counting and latching logic to one class:
ServiceSynchronizationManager.
Reduce code duplication.
Clean up imports.
Add option to deploy sync or async.

TorqueBox needs to deploy async when creating destinations at deploy
time.

This commit also removes the Service cruft from Queue/TopicInstaller,
since no projects use that.
Rev stilts to 0.1.40