[dfu] backport stm32 dfu flasher robustness fixes
- run sw/tools/dfu/stm32_mem.py --help for options
- by default now only upload to a device with idProduct containing "Lisa/M"
  - should prevent you from accidentally upload ap firmware to your BMP.
  - use '--product any' option to prevent checking of idProduct
[release] maintenance version 4.2.1