md: Avoid waking up a thread after it has been freed.

Two related problems:

1/ some error paths call "md_unregister_thread(mddev->thread)"
   without subsequently clearing ->thread.  A subsequent call
   to mddev_unlock will try to wake the thread, and crash.

2/ Most calls to md_wakeup_thread are protected against the thread
   disappeared either by:
      - holding the ->mutex
      - having an active request, so something else must be keeping
        the array active.
   However mddev_unlock calls md_wakeup_thread after dropping the
   mutex and without any certainty of an active request, so the
   ->thread could theoretically disappear.
   So we need a spinlock to provide some protections.

So change md_unregister_thread to take a pointer to the thread
pointer, and ensure that it always does the required locking, and
clears the pointer properly.

Reported-by: "Moshe Melnikov" <moshe@zadarastorage.com>
Signed-off-by: NeilBrown <neilb@suse.de>
Signed-off-by: RobinDong <sanbai@taobao.com>