It wouldn't. Events aren't global (in general), they need to be attached to an object.

There is one global emitter -- `process`. So the easiest way to make this work would be to do `process.emit('mysql-event-insert)` in mysql.js

I'm not sure that's the best solution, it feels weird/dangerous to emit arbitrary events from `process`.

It feels like it might be a better solution would be to have all of the statsd stuff in its own file and hijack methods from there, something like this

```js
// in statsd.js or something
const sdc = require('statsd-client'); 
const statsd = new sdc({host:configuration.statsd});
const mysql = require('mysql');

mysql.client._insert = function () { 
  statsd.increment("model_" + table + ".insert");
  return mysql.client._insert.apply(mysql.client, arguments);
};
```