berkeley-db: --enable-compat185 by default

Our berkeley db shadows the OS's berkeley db 1.x, making it impossible
to build software that only builds on 1.x (e.g. opensmtpd).
The --enable-compat185 switch enables a 1.x compatibility mode, which
shouldn't have any downsides and is the standard in other package
managers. (One wonders why it isn't on by default if so.)
couchdb: replace DATA patch with inreplace

Geocouch uses this formula to get the couchdb source, and this means we
cannot use a DATA patch here since it only exists for the executing
file.

Fixes #20073.