review

as per your request

I have not been very clean about the edits, sorry. 

I've tried not to remove every bit of fluff, as clearly this is your intended style. But do keep in mind you're writing for an audience, and too many asides, or 'fluff words' (basically, sorta like, something like that) will lose them. 

I could annotate every change with a reason why would make it, but that would take me even more time, so instead I'll leave you to do the 'reverse review' and simply decide what to do with the ideas :/

Cheers