Removed spammy deleted XXX for remote nodes

this has never been a problem and it just makes the logs super spammy
added put_all to merge 2 proplists
removed overly spammy log
supressed a zero entry deletion log
added single item getAndMap like anyAndMap
added setOrAddGlobal and getForNode

to support changes in load balancing.

setOrAddGlobal is basically what it says... just like "upsert" in mongo

getForNode gets all values for a given Node + Key combination
used by app load service which registers stuff based on node+logical app name, not connection
added getApp/3
removed ok from the return on getApp/3
small cleanup and made work standalone
change default discovery path for scontrol extensions to be priv/
stop resolving links on basedir
os != sys :-/
moved env checking before config callbacks