Fix duplicate deferred render issues (#61939200)

Two key elements.<br>* I fudged the if/else at the end of defer_render when I added the failfunc check<br>* I am now using can.view.live.list() when possible, since it takes care of the text node issues without me doing it manually.  This seems to be working fine, but please keep your eyes open where we defer renders (audit modals, anywhere we use #using, #with_mapping, etc)