speaker;replica;ep_id {system};[The episode opens with a bubble transition, and we see a coral reef under the sea. The camera zooms to initiate parallax scrolling, which reveals the city of Bikini Bottom. It continues zooming to show a brown rock, a Moai head, and a pineapple, which each contain inhabitants.];s1e1_1 French Narrator;Ah, the sea... so fascinating. So wonderful. Here, we see Bikini Bottom, teeming with life. [shows from left to right Patrick's, Squidward's, and SpongeBob's houses. Zooms in on SpongeBob's house.] Home to one of my favorite creatures, SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, of course he lives in a pineapple, you silly.;s1e1_2 {system};[Scene cuts to the house's bedroom. A sea snail, named Gary, is seen sleeping near a pile of newspapers on the floor, a scallop is seen in a birdcage, and a young, optimistic yellow sea sponge, named SpongeBob, is seen sleeping in his bed, snoring as his foghorn alarm clock ticks. SpongeBob's alarm then sounds. He wakes, but is unaffected by the annoying sound, and with a smile on his face, turns it off. He climbs from his bed to a ladder, leading to his diving board.];s1e1_3 SpongeBob; [jumps on the diving board] Look at me, I'm... [jumps up, and leaves his underwear behind] ..naked! [lands inside his pants, then runs toward the exercise room. His head pops out of the top of his pants.] Gotta be in top physical condition for today, Gary.;s1e1_4 Gary;Meow.;s1e1_5 SpongeBob;"[taking deep breaths, he prepares to lift a barbell that is balanced by two lightweight stuffed animals. He sticks out his chest, but almost passes out because he can barely lift it. He drops it, and it makes a ""squeak"" noise] I'm ready! [runs outside] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! [as he speaks, a dimwitted sea star's rock tilts upwards with a chubby pink starfish named Patrick stuck to its underside.]";s1e1_6 Patrick;Go, SpongeBob! [falls] Whoa! ;s1e1_7 {system};[crash sound effect];s1e1_8 SpongeBob;[runs down the street to the Krusty Krab] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! [jumps in the air as the scene freezes and a title reads SpongeBob SquarePants];s1e1_9 French Narrator; SpongeBob SquarePants! ;s1e1_10 {system};[It shows SpongeBob running through various landscapes, as it shows a frozen scene of SpongeBob standing in front of the Krusty Krab the scene unfreezes and then the episode continues as normal];s1e1_11 {system};[bubble transitions to the Krusty Krab];s1e1_12 SpongeBob;There it is. The finest eating establishment ever established for eating: The Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty... with a Help Wanted sign in the window. For years I've been dreaming of this moment. I'm gonna go in there, march straight to the manager, look 'em straight in the eye [breaks the fourth wall and looks the audience in the eye], lay it on the line and... I can't do this! [starts to run home, but Patrick stops him.] Hey, Patrick-;s1e1_13 Patrick;Where do you think you're going?;s1e1_14 SpongeBob;I was just...;s1e1_15 Patrick;No, you're not. You're going to the Krusty Krab and get! That! Job!;s1e1_16 SpongeBob;I can't, don't you see? I'm not good enough.;s1e1_17 Patrick;"Whose first words were ""May I take your order?""?";s1e1_18 SpongeBob;Mine were.;s1e1_19 Patrick;Who made a spatula out of toothpicks in wood shop?;s1e1_20 SpongeBob;I did.;s1e1_21 Patrick;[grimaces and contorts twice while trying to come up with a good third line] Who's a, uh, who's uh, oh! And who's a big yellow cube with holes?;s1e1_22 SpongeBob;I am!;s1e1_23 Patrick;Who's ready?;s1e1_24 SpongeBob;I'm ready!;s1e1_25 Patrick;Who's ready?!;s1e1_26 SpongeBob;I'm ready! [runs toward the Krusty Krab.] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready!;s1e1_27 {system};[A turquoise octopus is seen cleaning graffiti on the restaurant's windows. That octopus, named Squidward, is spraying stain remover and attempting to wipe off the graffiti.];s1e1_28 Squidward;" [cleaning graffiti of himself with the word ""loser,"" sees SpongeBob, and sighs] Oh no, SpongeBob. What could he possibly want? ";s1e1_29 SpongeBob; [in background, at first while Squidward was talking] I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm ready! Go, SpongeBob! Go, SpongeBob! Go, SpongeBob! Go, self! ;s1e1_30 {system}; [Squidward looks at the Help Wanted sign, screams, and runs inside to warn Mr. Krabs] ;s1e1_31 Squidward;" [While SpongeBob says, ""I'm ready,"" one more time in the background] Mr. Krabs! [cuts to the ordering window, where a greedy crab is seen happily sniffing a handful of money. Squidward runs up to him.] Hurry, Mr. Krabs, before it's too late, I gotta tell you- [interrupted by SpongeBob] ";s1e1_32 SpongeBob; Permission to come aboard, captain! [deep voice] I've been training my whole life for the day I could join the Krusty Krew [normal voice] and now I'm ready! ;s1e1_33 {system}; [SpongeBob trips on a nail stuck in the floorboard. He bounces back and forth on the ground, and shouts and blurts incomprehensibly upon each hit. The restaurant manager, a red crab named Mr. Krabs, and Squidward look at each other. His fall causes him to bounce against the ceiling. SpongeBob yet again shouts and blurts incomprehensibly while his bounces and ricochets around the building accelerate. He then rolls to a stop at the feet of Squidward and Mr. Krabs.] ;s1e1_34 SpongeBob; So, uh, when do I start? ;s1e1_35 MrKrabs; Well, lad, it looks like you don't even have your sea legs. ;s1e1_36 SpongeBob; Mr. Krabs, please! I'll prove I'm fry cook material! Ask Squidward, he'll vouch for me. ;s1e1_37 {system}; [Mr. Krabs and Squidward quickly walk away from SpongeBob. Squidward looks at Mr. Krabs.] ;s1e1_38 Squidward; [deep breath] No. ;s1e1_39 {system}; [Mr. Krabs winks. Squidward and Mr. Krabs head back to SpongeBob, who looks completely puzzled at what he's hearing] ;s1e1_40 Mr. Krabs ; Well, lad, we'll give you a test, and if you pass, you'll be on the Krusty Krew. Go out and fetch me... a... [SpongeBob takes out a notepad] uh, hydrodynamic spatula... [SpongeBob quickly jots down what he says] with, um, port-and-starboard-attachments, [more scribbling] and, uh... turbo drive. [more scribbling] And don't come back ‘til you get one. [puts a Krusty Krab crew hat on SpongeBob's head.] ;s1e1_41 {system}; [SpongeBob sees how he looks in a mirror, there are sparkles on his hat, and he has a huge, satisfied smile] ;s1e1_42 SpongeBob; [saluting Krabs] Aye aye, captain! [reading] One hydrodynamic spatula, with port-and-starboard attachments, turbo drive, coming right up, sir! [salutes again] ;s1e1_43 Mr. Krabs ; Carry on! [SpongeBob leaves] We'll never see that lubber again. ;s1e1_44 Squidward; [smiling] You're terrible. A hydro-what? ;s1e1_45 {system}; [Squidward and Mr. Krabs laugh. While Squidward laughs, his nose moves distinctly while he inhales and exhales. Mr. Krabs' laugh sounds like a pirate. As they laugh, SpongeBob is shown leaving the Krusty Krab. As SpongeBob fades out of sight, five buses drive toward the Krusty Krab from the opposite direction.] ;s1e1_46 Bus driver ; Hey! Hey! Please! Passengers are to stay seated and not put their fins out the window! ;s1e1_47 {system}; [The five buses surround the Krusty Krab and the bus doors open. Mr. Krabs stops laughing. Squidward also stops laughing but embarrassingly smiles at Mr. Krabs' attentive gesture.] ;s1e1_48 Mr. Krabs ; [gasps] That sounded like hatch doors! [sniffs repeatedly] Do you smell it? That smell... A kind of smelly smell... A smelly smell that smells... smelly... [his eyes widen] Anchovies. ;s1e1_49 Squidward;What?;s1e1_50 Mr. Krabs ;Anchovies!;s1e1_51 {system};" [The anchovies get out of the buses and rush inside the Krusty Krab, crowding, repeating the word ""eat"" over and over again] ";s1e1_52 Squidward; Please, please, quiet! [the anchovies stop talking] Is this any way to behave, hmm? ;s1e1_53 Anchovy;Eat.;s1e1_54 Squidward; Could we show a little decency and form a neat, single file line in front of the register? ;s1e1_55 {system};" [The anchovies stare for a moment, then pick up the boat, as their cries of ""eat!"" become more intense. Cut to Barg'N-Mart as SpongeBob enters.] ";s1e1_56 SpongeBob; [singing to himself] Barg'N-Mart, meeting all of your spatula needs. ;s1e1_57 {system}; [Cuts back to the Krusty Krab. Squidward and Mr. Krabs are still in the boat register, and being tossed around like a ship in a storm.] ;s1e1_58 Mr. Krabs ; All hands on deck! Get your anchors out of your pants! ;s1e1_59 Squidward; One single file line is all I ask! ;s1e1_60 Mr. Krabs ; Whoa! [he and Squidward are thrown up in the air] Batten down the hatches, Mr. Squidward! [they get thrown back up again with Krabs clutching Squidward] I want my mommy, Mr. Squidward! [cuts to Barg'N-Mart] ;s1e1_61 SpongeBob; [singing] Do do do do do do, spatula, spatula, port-and-starboard attachments. ;s1e1_62 {system}; [Cuts back to the Krusty Krab. Squidward and Mr. Krabs are sent towards a pole by a wave of anchovies.] ;s1e1_63 Squidward;Help!;s1e1_64 Mr. Krabs ; Man overboard! Climb, Mr. Squidward! Climb! [They climb the mast, while the anchovies try to get them down. The anchovies then form a big wave twice.] ;s1e1_65 {system}; Eat! Eat! ;s1e1_66 Mr. Krabs ; This is the end! [shaking hands with Squidward] Goodbye, Mr. Squidward! ;s1e1_67 Squidward; Oh, Mr. Krabs! ;s1e1_68 {system}; [Mr. Krabs and Squidward cry, then SpongeBob comes in with red lights flashing and flying with the spatula, singing a heroic tune] ;s1e1_69 SpongeBob; Permission to come aboard captain! Da da da da da da da! Da da da da da da da da da da! Did someone order a spatula? ;s1e1_70 Mr. Krabs ; [stuttering in shock at SpongeBob getting the hydrodynamic spatula] ;s1e1_71 SpongeBob; That's right! One hydrodynamic spatula with [two spatulas pop out on the sides of the previous one] port-and-starboard attachments! And let's not forget the turbo drive! [the two extending spatulas twirl around and smack Squidward and Mr. Krabs in the face] Would you believe they only had one in stock? To the kitchen! [to the anchovies] Who's hungry?! ;s1e1_72 {system};" [Tiny Tim's ""Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight"" plays while SpongeBob flies through the kitchen window. A montage of SpongeBob making and serving Krabby Patties plays. SpongeBob crashes into a box of patties and shoots them with his eyes toward the grill.] ";s1e1_73 {system};" [SpongeBob becomes a number ""1"" followed by ascending numbers up to ""4."" He squeezes a bottle of ketchup and mustard on Krabby Patty to form a smiley face. He adds a patty and the rest of the toppings on top of the lower bun to form a Krabby Patty. SpongeBob serves the Krabby Patty. Some of the anchovies noticed, and one of them caught a Krabby Patty. All of the anchovies look toward the window to anticipate more Krabby Patties. SpongeBob then serves up Krabby Patty after Krabby Patty. He repeats chopping vegetables and serving yet more Krabby Patties. Numerous Krabby Patties are launched through the order window to the hungry anchovies.] ";s1e1_74 Mr. Krabs ; That was the finest fast-foodsmanship I've ever seen, Mr. SquarePants. Welcome aboard. [gives SpongeBob a name tag] ;s1e1_75 Squidward; B-but, but, Mr. Krabs... ;s1e1_76 Mr. Krabs ; Three cheers for SpongeBob! Hip-hip! ;s1e1_77 Squidward; [weakly] Hooray, Mr.— ;s1e1_78 Mr. Krabs ;Hip-hip!;s1e1_79 Squidward; [quickly] Hooray. ;s1e1_80 Mr. Krabs ;Hip-hip!;s1e1_81 Squidward; [quickly] Hooray. Mr. Krabs— ;s1e1_82 Mr. Krabs ; I'll be in my quarters, counting up the booty. [wheels a wheelbarrow piled with an enormous stack of cash to his office. As he walks towards his office, Patrick enters] ;s1e1_83 Patrick; Good morning, Krusty Krew! ;s1e1_84 Squidward; What would you like to order, Patrick? ;s1e1_85 Patrick; One Krabby Patty, please. ;s1e1_86 {system};" [The instrumental to ""Living in the Sunlight, Loving in the Moonlight"" starts playing. SpongeBob flies back to the kitchen, using his spatula] ";s1e1_87 Squidward;What?;s1e1_88 {system}; [A score of Krabby Patties is immediately fired through the servery, which Squidward dodges, colliding into Patrick and sending him flying out of the Krusty Krab. Cuts to Krusty Krab exterior [crashing noise.];s1e1_89 Patrick;[screams];s1e1_90 Squidward; Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs, come see your new employee! ;s1e1_91 {system};" [The final instrumental of Tiny Tim's ""Livin' in the Sunlight"" plays (xylophone solo, followed by a timpani beat and a final note), and the further sounds of shooting Krabby Patties and smashed glass play at the same time, ending the episode] ";s1e1_92 {system}; [The episode opens up with SpongeBob's, Patrick's, and Squidward's houses.] ;s1e2_1 {system}; [The scene pans to show that everything on his lawn is clean, except for a seashell on the left side of it.] ;s1e2_2 {system}; [The camera shows Squidward angry. He walks over to the seashell, looks around, and kicks it onto SpongeBob's lawn while whistling casually.] ;s1e2_3 {system}; [The scene then changes to show SpongeBob's house. As soon as the window opens, SpongeBob's face is shown. He exits through his window and sits on its rim. He notices the seashell on his lawn, he gets an idea and starts sliding to the back of his house to his garage to get a reef blower. The giant backpack-like container, with a blower hose, which looks like a jet engine, a power switch, and a pull starter.] ;s1e2_4 {system}; [The scene changes to show Squidward resting on his hammock.] ;s1e2_5 {system}; [Squidward hears the reef blower's motor throbbing. He sees SpongeBob exiting out of his garage with the reef blower. Squidward grumbles and puts in his earplugs so that he can continue to rest.] ;s1e2_6 {system}; [SpongeBob gets to the seashell and tries to blow it away from his lawn by using the reef blower. He does this twice. He then blows extra hard, and a huge amount of sand is thrown in the air.] ;s1e2_7 {system}; [The scene changes to show Squidward eating some vegetables and then, the huge amount of sand falls from the sky and buries him. SpongeBob runs towards Squidward and blows the sand away.] ;s1e2_8 {system}; [Squidward looks at a leaf on his plate with grains of sand on it.] ;s1e2_9 {system}; [SpongeBob cleans the leaf in front of Squidward's head, tearing apart half of the leaf and causing grains of sand to get into Squidward's eyes. SpongeBob cleans Squidward's eyes with another blow.] ;s1e2_10 {system}; [The scene changes to show a large pile of sand on SpongeBob's lawn.] ;s1e2_11 {system};" [SpongeBob points his finger to it and mouths a word and the caption reads ""You!"" He walks to the pile of sand, sets the reef blower to reverse, and uses it to suck up the sand from his lawn.] ";s1e2_12 {system}; [The scene changes to show SpongeBob's lawn clean, but then the reef blower starts breaking apart, throwing out sand and parts of the machinery.] ;s1e2_13 {system}; [SpongeBob takes off the reef blower. He unzips the pack. He goes over to pick up the thrown-out contents. The reef blower coughs while he is absent. He returns with large hands carrying the thrown-out contents. He zips it back up and pulls the pull starter in an attempt to try to start it. The motor starts and then dies.] ;s1e2_14 {system}; [The camera shows him becoming angry or just determined. The scene changes and he pulls the handle very far.] ;s1e2_15 {system}; [SpongeBob lets go of the handle, which stays still. SpongeBob wipes his hands together. He grabs the handle again. The handle pulls him away, leaving a bubble silhouette of SpongeBob that quickly dissolves. SpongeBob passes an intersection where two fish in two different cars going opposite directions stop. He passes some houses and finally returns to the reef blower, where he gets strapped in.] ;s1e2_16 {system}; [The reef blower starts, sucking up all the water in the sea, causing Squidward, who is sitting on his front doorstep, to gasp due to the inability to breathe air. His eyes also change into X's.] ;s1e2_17 {system}; [The scene changes to show the reef blower massive, and then it explodes, causing water to cover the screen. When the water stops, the screen shows big piles of sand everywhere, but SpongeBob's lawn is relatively clean.] ;s1e2_18 {system}; [SpongeBob exits one of the piles, wipes his hands together, and happily enters his house.] ;s1e2_19 {system}; [Episode ends with Squidward at his doorstep, with a pile of sand covering him except for his head. The seashell falls on Squidward's nose. Squidward narrows his eyelids.] ;s1e2_20 SpongeBob; [stands in Jellyfish Fields. A blue jellyfish floats by SpongeBob. SpongeBob creeps from behind a bush and stares at the jellyfish through a telescope. Cuts to his view with the telescope] Wow, four stingers. [puts away the telescope and puts on his glasses. Cuts to the jellyfish, where SpongeBob floats over it with his net. Cuts to the jellyfish alone, where SpongeBob's foot stretches out from off-screen and then the rest of his body appears. He attempts to grab the jellyfish in his net, but he catches himself in the net, then the jellyfish flies away. In the background, a young girl's voice is heard struggling. SpongeBob looks down a cliff and sees a land creature trying to fight a giant clam that's attempting to eat her. SpongeBob gasps.] Where have I seen this before? [takes out his Field Guide book and skims through the pages] Here it is. [cut to picture of a squirrel] Land squirrel. [closes the book] That little squirrel is in trouble. [cuts to the squirrel, named Sandy, who is pushing the clam into the ground] ;s1e3_1 Sandy; Take that, you sorry old clam! Y'all need to learn some manners! [walks away] You're about as ugly as homemade soup. ;s1e3_2 SpongeBob; Hooray, land squirrel! [cuts back to the land squirrel, who is oblivious to the clam resurfacing and jumping right at her. Cuts to SpongeBob, who is shocked, his glasses shoot up] Look out! [scene cuts to the clam with Sandy trying to escape the clam] Hold on, little squirrel! [does a karate yell in front of the clam, then does the same while bouncing to different sides. He jumps high in the air, and lands on top of the clam;s1e3_3 {system}; [SpongeBob pulls up his pants and starts to charge at the clam. He jumps into the clam's mouth and starts to strangle its tongue. SpongeBob sees that Sandy has already escaped and the clam swallows him now.] ;s1e3_4 Sandy; Hold on there, little square dude! [gets SpongeBob out and kicks the clam around some more and finally kicks it across the sea. The clam whimpers. Sandy leans down to see if SpongeBob is okay.] ;s1e3_5 SpongeBob; Hey, you like karate too. [does some karate poses, then he stops and falls flat on his head] So, what's your name? ;s1e3_6 Sandy; Sandy. [makes athletic moves] So what do y'all call yourself? ;s1e3_7 SpongeBob; [runs up a big rock] I'm SpongeBob! [jumps down, SpongeBob soon lands on one of his corners] ;s1e3_8 Sandy; Well, SpongeBob, take a gander at this. [walks next to a huge rock closes her eyes and slaps it with her hand, making a gong sound effect, SpongeBob is confused as nothing seems to have happen, but then cracking sounds are heard and rock shakes and breaks into pieces] ;s1e3_9 SpongeBob; Oh. [Sandy grins and blinks] Oh, yeah? Watch this! [prepares to do a karate move, but all he does is make an armpit fart noise. Sandy walks on-screen giggling] ;s1e3_10 Sandy; I like you, SpongeBob. Why, we could be tighter than bark on a tree. Hi-yah! [karate chops SpongeBob’s head.] ;s1e3_11 SpongeBob; Uh, I like you too, Sandy. Hi-yah! [karate chops her helmet, but realizes it hurts.] Ow. Say, what is that thing on your head? ;s1e3_12 Sandy; Why, that's my air helmet. ;s1e3_13 SpongeBob; May I try it on? ;s1e3_14 Sandy; Heck no. I need it to breathe. I gotta have my air. ;s1e3_15 SpongeBob; Me too. I love air. Air is good. ;s1e3_16 Sandy; No kidding? ;s1e3_17 SpongeBob;" Why, ""air"" is my middle name. The more air, the better. Can't get enough of that air. ";s1e3_18 Sandy; Shee-oot. How about comin' over tomorrow for tea and cookies then? [shows a map leading to Sandy's house] Don't be late. ;s1e3_19 SpongeBob; Okay, see you tomorrow. [runs to Patrick's house. Patrick is sun tanning on his rock] Patrick! Patrick! Patrick, Patrick, Patrick! What's air? ;s1e3_20 Patrick;Huh?;s1e3_21 SpongeBob; I just met this girl. She wears a hat full of... air. ;s1e3_22 Patrick;" Do you mean she puts on ""airs""? ";s1e3_23 SpongeBob; I guess so. ;s1e3_24 Patrick; That's just fancy talk. If you wanna be fancy, hold your pinky up like this. The higher you hold it, the fancier you are. ;s1e3_25 SpongeBob; [holds his pinky up] How's that? ;s1e3_26 Patrick;Higher.;s1e3_27 SpongeBob; Like that? ;s1e3_28 Patrick; Now that's fancy. They should call you SpongeBob FancyPants. [cuts to Sandy's treedome] Remember: When in doubt, pinky out. You can do it, SpongeBob. I'll be watching. [opens the door as SpongeBob walks in with his pinky raised high and flowers in his right hand.] ;s1e3_29 SpongeBob; Thanks, pal. [rings the doorbell with a bouquet in his hand] ;s1e3_30 Sandy;Hello?;s1e3_31 SpongeBob; Hi-ya, Sandy. It’s me, SpongeBob. ;s1e3_32 Sandy; Hold on a sec, I'll let you in. ;s1e3_33 SpongeBob; [whistles then all the water goes down the drain, then bangs on the door] Sandy! Sandy! Open up! Sandy! Sandy! [Sandy opens the door and SpongeBob jiggles on the ground] Sandy, something's gone terribly wrong. There's no water in... [looks around] ...here. ;s1e3_34 Sandy; ‘Course there's no water. Nuttin' but air. ;s1e3_35 SpongeBob; [waves his hand around and smells the air] No water? ;s1e3_36 Sandy; That ain't a problem, is it? Hi-yah! ;s1e3_37 SpongeBob; Problem? [laughing] Hi-yah! That's how I like my air! [takes a deep breath as Sandy walks off. As soon as she leaves, he lets it all out, and gets black circles around his eyes] With no water. ;s1e3_38 Sandy; [cartwheeling] Well, alright. I made Texas tea and cookies. Well, come on in! Hi-yah! [SpongeBob is walking an inch forward and it makes weak squeaking sounds with every step] That's not in. In. [SpongeBob walks another inch and there is more squeaking. Sandy runs, gets SpongeBob, takes his hand, and runs off] You're a funny little dude. Come on, I'll give you the grand tour. [fades to the blazing sun and pan down where Sandy and SpongeBob are standing] So this is my own private little air bubble. This air is the driest... [SpongeBob gasps] ...purest... [SpongeBob gasps again] ...most airiest air in the whole sea. Oh, over there's my birdbath. [Cuts to the birdbath, where an orange bird is splashing and chirping] And that's my oak tree. [SpongeBob seems enticed by the water in the birdbath. He tries to sneak away, but stays until Sandy lets her guard down] It provides me with extra air. This dome is made of the finest polyurethane, that's a fancy word for plastic. Ain't that just the bee's knees? [SpongeBob nods] Tell you what, weren't easy getting here neither. First, I... [SpongeBob finally escapes and wallows in the birdbath, absorbing all the water. He then jumps back to his original spot, and the bird is quite angry. SpongeBob gets back before Sandy notices] ...that's my treadmill. That's how I stay in tip-top shape. Well, come on. Let’s have that tea now. [does in-air karate moves and moves off-screen. SpongeBob gasps. He hears some knocking from outside. It's Patrick, pointing at his pinky] ;s1e3_39 Patrick; Pinky. Pinky. ;s1e3_40 SpongeBob; [blinks, weakly holds up his pinky, and gasps again. Fade to him sitting at a picnic bench. He now has little wrinkles around his eyes and his mouth is all puckered up. He holds up his bouquet] I brought you some flowers. ;s1e3_41 Sandy; [walks over] For me? How sweet. [grabs the flowers, but SpongeBob refuses to let go. She finally pries them loose and part of SpongeBob's pinky falls off. He closes his hand] You okay? ;s1e3_42 SpongeBob; [the black circles around his eyes are gone. His voice is now hoarse] Yes, I'm okay. ;s1e3_43 Sandy; You know, you're the first sea critter to ever visit. ;s1e3_44 SpongeBob; I can’t imagine why. ;s1e3_45 Sandy; Can I get you anything? ;s1e3_46 SpongeBob; Water would be nice. ;s1e3_47 Sandy; I'm gonna put these in a vase. ;s1e3_48 SpongeBob; Take your time. [Sandy goes in her tree and closes the door off-screen. SpongeBob hears it, he then gasps and stumbles toward the door and struggles to open it] I gotta get out of here! [screams and then thinks] ;s1e3_49 Sandy; [in SpongeBob's head] I like you, SpongeBob. We could be tighter than bark on a tree. ;s1e3_50 {system}; [SpongeBob struggles even more] ;s1e3_51 Patrick; [in SpongeBob's head] When in doubt, pinky out. ;s1e3_52 SpongeBob; [lifts his pinky up and gets confidence and victorious music plays.] I don't need water! Water's for quitters! I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it! I don't need it, I don't need it... [sits down, loses confidence again and the music stops] ;s1e3_53 Sandy; Why, these flowers are just beautiful! [sniffs] They'll last much, much longer in a vase full of ice cold water. [puts the vase down. SpongeBob is totally enticed by the water. Sandy sits down across from him] So tell me about yourself. [puts her hands under head feeling fascinated about SpongeBob sharing himself] It must be fascinating bein' a sea critter. [SpongeBob watches a drop of water drop down the side of the glass] SpongeBob? [a timer goes off] Oh, there's the cookies. [walks back into the tree] Be right back. ;s1e3_54 SpongeBob; [thinking] I don't need it, I don't need it, I definitely don't need it. [close-up of SpongeBob's face. He's really shriveled now] I don't need it. [close-up of vase, then another one of SpongeBob's face] I don't need it. [close-up of vase] I don't need it. [close-up of SpongeBob's face] I don't need it. [long pause, finally yelling] I need it! [shoots up into the air, bounces off the ceiling and holds the vase.] ;s1e3_55 Patrick; No, SpongeBob! No, no, no! Stop! Pinky! Pinky! ;s1e3_56 SpongeBob; [holds up his pinky and starts guzzling down the whole vase of water] I'm a quitter! [screams and runs around] ;s1e3_57 Patrick; [enters into the dome and slams the door shut] You can't leave now. You'll blow it. ;s1e3_58 SpongeBob; [muffled while hanging on the door] Air is not good, Patrick. Air is not good. ;s1e3_59 Patrick; [grabs SpongeBob off the door] You're just being shy. [carries SpongeBob to the picnic table] Don't worry, buddy. You're doing fine. [starts getting weak] I won't let you blow... this. [drops SpongeBob and crawls on the floor, panting. He coughs and sputters, then stands up] What kind of place is this?! [runs toward the door and tries to open it] There's no water in here! ;s1e3_60 SpongeBob; [joins in on the door-opening struggle] I tried to tell you! ;s1e3_61 Patrick; We've gotta get out of here! ;s1e3_62 SpongeBob; You're... doing it... wrong! ;s1e3_63 Patrick; Wait, no! We've got to get out! [The two pass out.] ;s1e3_64 {system}; [fades to the sun] ;s1e3_65 Sandy; [walks out of the tree with tea and cookies] Come and get it! Y'all gonna like this... ;s1e3_66 {system}; [She screams and drops her tray. On the grass is a live-action sponge and starfish. Cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick leaning against a ladder with two goldfish helmets on. Sandy, on top of the ladder, uses a hose to fill those helmets with water, so they can finally breathe.] ;s1e3_67 Sandy; There, that oughta do it! If y'all needed water, you shoulda asked. [carries over a tray with three tea glasses. Everyone takes one] I propose a toast, to new friends. [drinks it while SpongeBob and Patrick lift their drinks up and they clink the glasses on the helmets, causing them to spill] Hold on a second. [places a tea bag in each helmet, allowing the two to drink the tea water] I hope you like your tea strong. Drink up! [Patrick nudges SpongeBob and they both put their pinkies up. They sip the tea.] ;s1e3_68 {system}; [The episode starts with a view of the houses of Patrick, Squidward, and SpongeBob. The screen zooms in closer, and fades to a view of SpongeBob's entrance.] ; s1e4_1 SpongeBob; [walks outside his house, and breathes in the fresh air] Ahh, what a wonderful day. The sun is out, the water is shimmering, scallops are chirping. So peaceful. [grabs wood, a hammer, and some nails, and starts to noisily build a stand. Squidward peeks his head out the window.] ; s1e4_2 Squidward; Can we lower the volume, please? I can't work with all that racket going on! ; s1e4_3 SpongeBob; Oh, sure thing, Squidward. ; s1e4_4 Squidward; Yes. Mmm. Right. Mmm. ; s1e4_5 SpongeBob; Okay. [taps on a nail lightly, and he looks up at Squidward's window. He does it again, and continues to, making sure he doesn't make too much noise. Meanwhile, in Squidward's house, Squidward has his clarinet in his hand.] ; s1e4_6 Squidward; And now... for some soothing sounds from Squidward's clarinet. Thank you, thank you. [starts to play while SpongeBob looks up and sees that Squidward is playing, so he decides to finish his stand quickly. Squidward looks out the window again.] ; s1e4_7 Squidward; I thought I... Huh? ; s1e4_8 SpongeBob; Hey, Squidward. Wanna blow some bubbles? Only 25 cents. ; s1e4_9 Squidward; Oh, right. Like I would spend a moment of my time blowing bubbles. ; s1e4_10 SpongeBob; Uh huh. ; s1e4_11 Squidward; Oh, puh-lease. I mean, who in the world would pay to blow bubbles? [Patrick comes out of his house, stuck to the underside of the rock] ; s1e4_12 Patrick; Good morning. [a TV, lamp, and chair are seen below Patrick's rock. Patrick falls off his rock, onto his furniture, and begins screaming] ; s1e4_13 Squidward; Oh, boy. [Patrick walks over to SpongeBob] ; s1e4_14 SpongeBob; Good morning to you, sir. Would you care to blow a bubble? ; s1e4_15 Patrick; Hmm, how much is it? ; s1e4_16 SpongeBob; Only a quarter. ; s1e4_17 Patrick; Sounds reasonable. [whispering] Uh, I'm going to need to borrow a quarter. ; s1e4_18 SpongeBob; Sure thing, Patrick. [pulls out a quarter and he gives it to Patrick] ; s1e4_19 Patrick; Ah, one quarter. [hands the quarter back to SpongeBob, whom bites it to see if it's real] ; s1e4_20 SpongeBob; Thank you. [cuts back to Squidward] ; s1e4_21 Squidward; Hmm, business is booming. [laughs] How did I ever get surrounded by such loser neighbors? Uh-huh. [continues playing. Cut back to SpongeBob and Patrick. SpongeBob dips the wand in the bubble soap] ; s1e4_22 SpongeBob;" One bubble wand, dipped and ready to go. [Patrick grabs the wand from SpongeBob, inhales deeply and begins to blow, but a bubble doesn't come out. He pants and blows again. After a while, SpongeBob puts up a ""Lessons"" sign. Patrick then loses his breath] Could I interest you in some lessons? Only 25 cents. "; s1e4_23 Patrick; Uh, very well, then. Hey, Sponge, can I borrow another quarter? [SpongeBob hands Patrick a quarter] Thanks. [winks and hands the quarter back to SpongeBob] ; s1e4_24 SpongeBob; Okay, Patrick, it's all in the technique. [starts doing his infamous routine] First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two, three. Then, pelvic thrust! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-around-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then... [blows bubbles shaped like ducks] ; s1e4_25 Patrick; Oooh. [SpongeBob pops out of nowhere and blows a box. Patrick giggles and SpongeBob blows a caterpillar] Ah! [The caterpillar then pops one-by-one, with descending sounds. Patrick continues to giggle. SpongeBob blows a tugboat, and it floats off, pops, and makes a foghorn noise. Cuts to inside of Squidward's house] ; s1e4_26 Squidward; Huh? [shakes his clarinet. Cut back to outside with SpongeBob and Patrick] ; s1e4_27 SpongeBob;" And now... with two hands! [inhales deeply and blows out an elephant. Circus music, in particular part of the piece ""Entry of the Gladiators,"" starts playing.] "; s1e4_28 Patrick;" [laughs] It's a giraffe! [Patrick continues laughing as the elephant floats over into Squidward's house. SpongeBob then worried as the bubble pops and tons of smaller bubbles come out of both windows of the house while an elephant sounds. Squidward opens the door with a sour look on his face. SpongeBob and Patrick hide behind the stand. SpongeBob places a ""Closed"" sign on it. Squidward looks over the stand] "; s1e4_29 SpongeBob; Excuse me, sir, but we are clo- ; s1e4_30 Squidward; Don't give me any of that! How can you two possibly make all this noise just blowing bubbles?! ; s1e4_31 SpongeBob; We're not just blowing bubbles. We're making bubble art. Watch carefully. [does his infamous routine again] First go like this, spin around. Stop! Double take three times: one, two, three. Then pelvic thrust! Whoooo! Whooooooo! Stop on your right foot, don't forget it! Now it's time to bring it around town. Bring-it-around-town. Then you do this, then this, and this, and that, and-this-and-that-and-this-and-that, and then... [blows a butterfly, which flies over to Squidward, lands on his head, and pops] ; s1e4_32 Squidward; That's not art. That's just annoying. Blowing bubbles, that's the lamest idea I have ever heard. [SpongeBob and Patrick, now depressed, head to SpongeBob's house] You should be ashamed of yourselves. [SpongeBob closes the door as Squidward laughs to himself] Bubbles. [continues laughing] Art. [mumbles, and picks up the bubble wand, sniffs it, and inhales to blow. Then, SpongeBob pops up out of nowhere] ; s1e4_33 SpongeBob; That'll be 25 cents, sir. ; s1e4_34 Squidward; Ah, whoa, what? [SpongeBob blinks] Oh... who-who would pay 25 cents to blow bubbles? ; s1e4_35 SpongeBob;" We also offer lessons for beginners. [puts the ""Lessons"" sign up] "; s1e4_36 Squidward; Beginners? What could be more simple than blowing a stupid bubble? [pulls a quarter out] Here's your 25 cents! [SpongeBob bites it to see if it's real and it bends] Watch and learn. [inhales and blows, but nothing happens] Uhh... wait, wait, wait. [he inhales and blows again, but nothing happens again] One more time. Here. Wait. [inhales and blows again, and a small bubble comes out and instantly falls to the ground and bursts, making a fart sound. Looks over at SpongeBob and Patrick. They gulp, and then start whistling. Squidward places another quarter on the stand] Uhh... Just a mere warm-up. [dips the wand in the bubble container, inhales deeply and blows hard. The bubble falls to the ground again, making another fart sound, gets another quarter out and puts it on the stand] ; s1e4_37 SpongeBob; Hey, Squidward, remember the technique. [Squidward keeps trying to blow bubbles while SpongeBob and Patrick are trying to show him the technique] Squidward, technique! You do this, and this, step back.... ; s1e4_38 Patrick; Hey! Technique, Squidward! ; s1e4_39 SpongeBob; Spin around like thi— Like this... Look at me, over here, one... two.... yeah, three... ; s1e4_40 Patrick; The pelvic woo! ; s1e4_41 SpongeBob;" Look, we're doing the technique! And don't for... Don't forget the ""Woooooo!"" Squidward? "; s1e4_42 Patrick; Listen to Sponge! ; s1e4_43 SpongeBob; Technique! Technique! Technique! ; s1e4_44 SpongeBob; [weakly] You're not doing the technique. ; s1e4_45 Patrick;Technique.; s1e4_46 Squidward; Technique? Technique!? Technique, technique, technique, technique, technique! [starts to do the infamous routine, while imitating SpongeBob] First I do this, spin around. Stop. Double take three times. And here we go, pelvic thrust. Wehooooo! Wehoohoo! Oh, stop on your right foot, don't forget it. Then, bring it around town. And a little of this, a little of that, a little of this, this, this, this, that, that, that, that. And that, that, that that that that! And then... [screams very loudly into the wand, blowing a gargantuan, unshaped bubble] ; s1e4_47 SpongeBob; All right, Squid. That was so good. ; s1e4_48 Patrick; Squid is number one. ; s1e4_49 Squidward; I really did it, didn't I? Hey, you guys didn't blow anything like that. ; s1e4_50 SpongeBob;No.; s1e4_51 Squidward; Now that's a bubble. ; s1e4_52 SpongeBob; You said it, Squidward. See, it is all in the technique. ; s1e4_53 Patrick; Yeah, technique. ; s1e4_54 Squidward; Technique? Hah. SpongeBob, you don't think I created that [kisses his tentacle] beautiful work of art with your help? [starts laughing] Come on, it's in my genes. ; s1e4_55 Squidward; Thank you, thank you, thank you. [starts to play his clarinet. SpongeBob and Patrick chant Squidward's name. At one point, they belly flop each other and Patrick falls on the ground.] I rock. [continues to play his clarinet. As SpongeBob and Patrick continue to chant, Squidward's bubble flies over them, covers Squidward's house, and pulls it out of the ground and up towards the top of the ocean. SpongeBob notices and stops Patrick] ; s1e4_56 SpongeBob; [concerned] Squidward! [Patrick now notices] ; s1e4_57 Squidward; Hello, my friends. You are looking at a... [sees how high he is from the sky] ; s1e4_58 Squidward; ...genius. [the bubble explodes in the air and then the ground violently rumbles and shakes. SpongeBob and Patrick look in awe] ; s1e4_59 {system}; [Pan across Goo Lagoon] ;s1e5_1 French Narrator; Ah, Goo Lagoon. A stinky mud puddle to you and me. But to the inhabitants of Bikini Bottom, a wonderful, stinky mud puddle. [SpongeBob and Sandy sit enjoying the beach. SpongeBob sighs] ;s1e5_2 SpongeBob; What a great day. [runs off] Hey, Sandy! Look! [now covered in a mound of sand] I'm Sandy! [Sandy laughs. SpongeBob forms sand around his head and nose to look like Squidward and imitates his voice] Hey Sandy, who am I? [Sandy still laughs. SpongeBob picks up a sand phone] Hello, SpongeBob. Could you keep it down? I'm trying to be boring. [Sandy continues laughing] ;s1e5_3 Sandy; SpongeBob! [a doorbell rings, SpongeBob walks in carrying sand pizza boxes and wearing a Krusty Krab sand hat] ;s1e5_4 SpongeBob; Did anyone order twenty pepperoni and sand pizzas? [he and Sandy laugh together. Larry walks up] ;s1e5_5 Larry; Hey, Sandy. Hey, SpongeBob. ;s1e5_6 Sandy; Hey, Larry. ;s1e5_7 Larry; You guys wanna go lift some weights? ;s1e5_8 Sandy; Sure. [she and Larry walk off] Well, come on, SpongeBob. [SpongeBob's sand pizzas and hat fall flat as he walks on dejectedly] ;s1e5_9 SpongeBob; [disappointingly] Coming. [cut to a group of weightlifters, each grunting as they work out. Larry turns to Sandy] ;s1e5_10 Larry; Give it a try, Sandy. [Sandy stands in front of a weight. She picks it up, grunting as she does so. The crowd cheers for her, and she throws the weight down] ;s1e5_11 SpongeBob; Good job, Sandy. Well, that's about enough for today, don't you think? [tries to walk off] ;s1e5_12 Larry; How about a little more weight? [bends down to pick up a weight heavier than Sandy's] Observe. [grunts as he picks it up, his eyes bulging, and veins stick out from his neck. The crowd cheers, and Larry throws the weight down] ;s1e5_13 SpongeBob; All right, stand back, everyone. [picks up a single twig from the ground. The crowd is silent. He sinks into the sand. Sandy walks to a weight] ;s1e5_14 Sandy; Y'all watch this! [picks up an anchor weight. The crowd cheers for her, but stop when they realize Larry has lifted the spectator stands] Way to go, Larry! [SpongeBob burrows into the sand, and tunnels over to Incidental 36 who is picnicking next to a marshmallow sack] ;s1e5_15 SpongeBob; Could I borrow a couple of these? ;s1e5_16 SpongeBob; [takes two marshmallows and places them on the twig] And now, with the addition of 2, count 'em, 2 marshmallows. [preps himself for his lift, inhales deeply, takes hold of the twig, and is unable to lift it. The crowd isn't moved. He tries again. And again. After a huge effort, SpongeBob hears a rip. He looks down and notices that he's ripped his pants. The crowd gasps, then laughs at SpongeBob. SpongeBob scuttles off, embarrassed. Scooter walks over, laughing] ;s1e5_17 Scooter; That was too funny. [slaps SpongeBob on the back] You are hilarious! ;s1e5_18 Sandy; Ain't he the funniest little Sponge you ever saw? [SpongeBob grins widely which gave him an idea. Cut to Larry with a volleyball on his claw] ;s1e5_19 Larry; Anybody up for some volleyball? [the ball volleys back and forth, until Larry spikes it into some fish and the crowd cheers for him. SpongeBob looks at him in contempt. A fish serves the ball and as Larry is about to hit it, SpongeBob interferes] ;s1e5_20 SpongeBob; I got it! [the ball falls and SpongeBob tries to serve it] Incoming! [the serve misses and the crowd boos. He bends down to pick the ball up and rips his pants] Oops, I guess I ripped my pants again! [the crowd laughs. Scooter walks in laughing again] ;s1e5_21 Scooter; Once again, dude, [slaps SpongeBob on the back] you have split my sides! [he continues to laugh. Cut to a tossed Frisbee. Larry catches it and throws it to Sandy] ;s1e5_22 SpongeBob; Hey, Sandy, how about throwing it to me? ;s1e5_23 Sandy; Okay, here it comes! [SpongeBob stands still and lets the Frisbee hit him on the head, knocking him over] ;s1e5_24 SpongeBob; I could use a hand here! [laughs. Sandy walks over and helps him up] ;s1e5_25 Sandy; You okay, SpongeBob? ;s1e5_26 SpongeBob; I guess so... [does a handstand, revealing his pants] ...except I ripped my pants! [the crowd laughs, and Scooter walks up to SpongeBob once again] ;s1e5_27 Scooter; You still got it, dude! [slaps SpongeBob on the back again. Cut to SpongeBob and Sandy walking to an ice cream vendor] ;s1e5_28 SpongeBob; I'll take a banana split. ;s1e5_29 SpongeBob; That's okay. I already split my pants! Get it? [Sandy giggles] ;s1e5_30 SpongeBob; How about ripple? [does so, Sandy giggles again] No, thanks, already got one! [Sandy drops laughing, Incidental 39 is unamused, and SpongeBob happily bounces off to a snack bar. SpongeBob runs up to Incidental 40, knocking his drink over] Is that a burger you're eating? ;s1e5_31 SpongeBob; You know what would go good with that? ;s1e5_32 SpongeBob; [whispers] Ripped... pants. [smiles widely and shows the annoyed Incidental 40 his ripped pants. SpongeBob then runs around the snack bar, laughing. He comes up in-between two fish] Ripped pants a la mode! [rips his pants, the fish are annoyed. Cut to SpongeBob being in the kitchen of the snack bar, next to the fry cook] Delivery! Did you order twenty cases of ripped pants? [shoves his behind through the box, revealing his ripped pants, then laughs and the box is revealed to have no lower part. The fry cook groans disgustedly. Cut to a broadcasting booth over looking the lagoon] ;s1e5_33 Sports guy; Surf's up in the Goo Lagoon. [fish are surfing. Close-up of Perch Perkins] And here comes Larry, doing his trademark lay-back. [cut to Larry lying on his surfboard] There goes Sandy, hanging ten... fingers, that is. [cut to Sandy doing a handstand on her surfboard] There goes SpongeBob... [rip] ripping his pants again. [The sports guy is annoyed, then cut to SpongeBob ripping his pants on his surfboard. A wave knocks SpongeBob off his surfboard and washes him up on the beach] ;s1e5_34 Sandy;SpongeBob!;s1e5_35 SpongeBob; [to Incidental 155] Come closer. [a divine light shines on him] I need... I need... ;s1e5_36 SpongeBob; [pats Incidental 155 on the shoulder. Close up of SpongeBob's mouth] A tailor. [the light turns off, accompanied by a light switch] Because I ripped my pants! [laughs. Incidental 155 makes an annoyed expression, drops SpongeBob, and the crowd surrounding him walks off with annoyance. SpongeBob is left alone and Sandy walks up to him angry] ;s1e5_37 Sandy; That wasn't funny, SpongeBob! Y'all had me worried sick! [walks off as Scooter walks towards SpongeBob and looks at him sadly] ;s1e5_38 Scooter; [shakes his head] Dude... [walks off. Cut to a dressing tent, with SpongeBob inside] ;s1e5_39 SpongeBob;" [thinking] Come on, SpongeBob, you're losing them! Think! Your public's waiting. [speaking] Let's see... [checking them off a list] ""Lifting weights - big laugh,"" ""Frisbee in face - kills,"" ""Surfing - knocks 'em dead,"" ""Pretending to drown,"" [uses his pencil to write the word ""NO"" and circle it] No. Come on, think! I got it! Hey, everybody! [runs out of the dressing tent] Not ripped pants! [tears his pants off] Pants ripped off. Huh? Someone call the police. There's a pants thief on the loose! [the wind howls, SpongeBob standing alone on the beach. A tumbleweed rolls by. SpongeBob turns and hears party music at a distance, and sees Larry and Sandy playing volleyball] Oh, no, everybody's gone, even Sandy. She'd rather hang out with Larry! Oh, no. [lies on the beach as he continues saying, no] We blew it, pants. [throws his pants aside] ";s1e5_40 Pants;" What do you mean, ""we?"" [the pants walk off, leaving SpongeBob alone] ";s1e5_41 SpongeBob; Oh, I didn't have to be a fool to get Sandy's attention. Am I the biggest loser on the beach?! [Incidental 22 walks up to SpongeBob, shining red] ;s1e5_42 SpongeBob; Ouch. [a fish walks up to the two] ;s1e5_43 Loser; No, I am. I got sand in my buns. [shows them two sandy hamburger buns. There is a rumbling coming from the sand and a whale pops his head out of the sand] ;s1e5_44 Frank; No, I'm the biggest loser on the beach. They buried me in the sand and forgot me. ;s1e5_45 All; What happened to you? ;s1e5_46 SpongeBob; I lost my best friend. ;s1e5_47 All; How? [SpongeBob grabs a sand guitar and sings he is front of the sand castle and a sand telephone he built earlier] ;s1e5_48 SpongeBob;" When I ripped... [his underwear starts ripping] my pants. [starts to sing] I thought that I had everybody by my side, but I went and blew it all sky-high, and now she won't even spare a passing glance, [The curtain comes down and a spotlight shines on SpongeBob] all just because I [rips his underwear again] ripped my pants. [the other three ""losers of the beach"" assemble on a sand stage with sand instruments and sing] ";s1e5_49 All; When big Larry came round just to put him down, SpongeBob turned into a clown, and no girl ever wants to dance with a fool who went and [Incidental 22 turns around and suddenly, her bottom then rips, splitting open, revealing her white underwear] ripped his pants! ;s1e5_50 All; Or sand in your buns! [instrumental break. The loser scrapes the two buns together to make a rhythm then the curtain shows waves crashing about] ;s1e5_51 SpongeBob; Now I learned a lesson I won't soon forget... so listen and you won't regret. Be true to yourself;s1e5_52 Sandy;SpongeBob!;s1e5_53 SpongeBob; Sandy! [she gets onstage and hugs SpongeBob. He returns the embrace] ;s1e5_54 Sandy; Your song is true. If y'all want to be my friend, just be yourself. [Larry walks up] ;s1e5_55 Larry; [impressed with SpongeBob's singing during the big concert] SpongeBob, that was so righteous. [hands SpongeBob a pencil] Would you... sign my pants? ;s1e5_56 SpongeBob;" Absolutely, buddy. [SpongeBob bends down to sign Larry's pants. His underwear then rips off completely, leaving SpongeBob ""au naturel."" Someone off-screen whistles. SpongeBob covers his crotch, grins, and blushes sheepishly] ";s1e5_57 {system}; [Opens in on a bunch of jellyfish and one flying out of the field towards Conch Street];s1e6_1 French Narrator ; Ah, ze early morning in Bikini Bottom, when the jellyfish are buzzing about and making their jellyfish jelly. [A jellyfish flies by SpongeBob's house. Just then a giant periscope comes out of the porthole] Oh, what is happening here? [SpongeBob is looking through the periscope from inside, Patrick waits behind him] Collectors? [SpongeBob nods to Patrick. They both run toward two vents: one square-shaped, one circular-shaped. SpongeBob takes the square one and Patrick takes the circle one. The two approach ropes and slide down them. At the bottom, they encounter a case of rope burn and jump around frantically. They blow their hands to remove the burn. Once the burn is gone, the two get serious again and approach a closet. It houses three sets of poles and three sets of nets. SpongeBob and Patrick take one of each, connect them and test their mobility. SpongeBob puts on his glasses and the two seriously step out ready for action. A jellyfish flies by and the two joyfully sing and follow it] ;s1e6_2 SpongeBob;[off-screen] I think I've got it! Wait a minute... [we hear jellyfish stings and SpongeBob and Patrick screaming. The two run back the way they came, being chased by the jellyfish. They fall into a heap in front of Squidward's house. The jellyfish stings both of their backsides and flies off. Just then, Squidward comes out of his house with his bike] ;s1e6_3 Squidward;Hm.;s1e6_4 SpongeBob; Hey, Squidward, we're jellyfishing. ;s1e6_5 Squidward; Of course you are. Bye now. [walks off] ;s1e6_6 SpongeBob; Wait! We made a net especially for you! [holds it up] Do you want to come with us? ;s1e6_7 Squidward; [sarcastically] Really? Jellyfishing with you guys? Oh, that would be the best day ever in my book! I would love to go jellyfishing! I can't think of anything I'd like to do more on my day off than go jellyfishing with my two best friends: SpongeBob and... uh... ;s1e6_8 Patrick;Patrick.;s1e6_9 Squidward; Right. But I can't. Bye bye. ;s1e6_10 SpongeBob; Next time? ;s1e6_11 Squidward; Oh sure, right! Whatever. [bikes away under breath] Like that'll ever happen. ;s1e6_12 SpongeBob; You know, Patrick? It always seems like Squidward never has time for fun. ;s1e6_13 Patrick; Maybe he doesn't like us. ;s1e6_14 SpongeBob; No, are you kidding? We're his best friends. [Squidward bikes down a path, chuckling to himself] ;s1e6_15 Squidward; Jellyfishing. [as he laughs, his nose inflates and deflates] Oh, I'll go. [laughs] I sure had them going. [laughs. But, he doesn't see a jellyfish which is going in the opposite direction. He keeps on laughing. The jellyfish ends up swimming in Squidward's mouth and he coughs it out] Stupid jellyfish! Beat it! [He hits it, and the jellyfish goes up his shirt and starts zapping him, causing Squidward to veer out of control. His tentacles get tangled on the pedals and he trips on a rock. He bounces down a hill and then falls down a jagged rocky cliff. He reaches the bottom of the cliff and immediately an atomic explosion appears.] Ow... ;s1e6_16 {system};" [Cut to SpongeBob sitting at his house. He looks out the window. But, no one is there. He sits down again. He notices a photo of him and an unhappy Squidward that reads, ""Friends."" He puts it down and looks out the window again. Squidward, who's in a wheelchair and all bandaged up rolls down the path]";s1e6_17 SpongeBob; Squid's back! [phones Patrick, which causes the screen to split diagonally, revealing Patrick on the bottom] ;s1e6_19 Patrick;Yello?;s1e6_20 SpongeBob; Hey, Patrick, Squid's home! And we're gonna make sure he's greeted by his two best friends! ;s1e6_21 Patrick; Oh, great! Who are they? [it's revealed that the two are phoning each other from across the room, just with different wallpapers] ;s1e6_22 SpongeBob;" Us! [the two hang up] Let's go! [Squidward wheels himself into his house. The lights suddenly turn on, and party horns can be heard. SpongeBob and Patrick are inside his house with a banner that says ""Welcome Home""] Welcome home, Squidward! ";s1e6_23 Patrick; Merry Christmas! ;s1e6_24 SpongeBob; We're gonna make this your best day ever! [Squidward turns around and wheels out. SpongeBob rolls him back in] Well, your best day's sure not gonna be out there. [SpongeBob wheels Squidward to a table where Patrick stands by a bowl of soup] ;s1e6_25 Patrick;" How about some soup on your best day ever? [Squidward looks at the soup and sees condensed Alphabet Soup letters spelling out, ""Best Day Ever"" Patrick holds up a spoon] Here we go! [scoops some up, but Squidward makes some grunting noises in refusal] Oh, it's a little hot. [blows on the spoon, sending steaming hot soup splashing all over Squidward's bandaged face. Patrick notices his spoon is empty and refills it to blow on, covering Squidward in more hot soup. This continues for three times until SpongeBob pulls the soup bowl away and laughs nervously] ";s1e6_26 SpongeBob; I don't think soup is the best thing for him on his best day ever. [walks near a music stand and Squidward's clarinet] How about some music on your best day ever? Played on your very own clarinet. [blows into it, but wind comes out causing Squidward to groan] Sorry, my lips are a little dry. [wets his lips exaggeratedly long and wet. Just when he prepares to blow, a disgusted Patrick snatches the clarinet away] ;s1e6_27 Patrick; Music isn't best either! ;s1e6_28 SpongeBob; But what is best is what we saved for last. The one sure-fire thing to make your best day ever the best day ever! [cut to SpongeBob, Patrick and Squidward in Jellyfish Fields. SpongeBob and Patrick hold nets] ;s1e6_29 {system}; [chanting] Jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing, jellyfishing! ;s1e6_30 SpongeBob; This is Jellyfish Fields, where wild jellyfish roam just waiting to be captured. [Squidward rides away, but SpongeBob catches him] No, no, Squid! Over here! I know you're eager, but you don't even have your net. Patrick, fix him up while I find him a good specimen. ;s1e6_31 Patrick; Firmly grasp it in your hand. [places the pole end on Squidward's bandaged hand, but it falls because he can't grab, Patrick picks it up] Firmly grasp it. [does it again and the results are the same. Patrick gets frustrated] Firmly grasp it. [forcefully jabs the net through Squidward's bandaged hand. Squidward lets out a muffled pained scream] That ought to do it. [SpongeBob spots a jellyfish] ;s1e6_32 SpongeBob; There's one in position. Ready... set... go! [the two yell out words of encouragement to Squidward and jump up and down, but Squidward isn't budging. The two eventually notice Squidward isn't going anywhere. They again encourage him, but still nothing happens] ;s1e6_33 Patrick;" I think we gotta show him how it's done. [in the tune of ""The Beautiful Blue Danube,"" SpongeBob and Patrick dance along next to the jellyfish and try to catch it. SpongeBob and Patrick sing, and even the jellyfish hums out some music. After several attempts, they get into a big fight with stinging and such. The jellyfish escapes the squabbles and swims by Squidward and stings him on the nose. Squidward, mad, goes after the jellyfish. SpongeBob and Patrick, still getting stung by jellyfish, notice] ";s1e6_34 SpongeBob;" Hey, look! Squid's doing it! [as Squidward chases, SpongeBob and Patrick cheer him on. His wheelchair is stopped by a rock, but he eventually gets back on track. The jellyfish lands on a pink ""rock"" and Squidward catches it. He laughs triumphantly, but muffled due to the bandages and whacks the net against the ""rock."" The ""rock"" surfaces, revealing to be a really huge jellyfish--the Queen Jellyfish. She now floats above Squidward. Squidward gulps. SpongeBob and Patrick look on.] ";s1e6_35 Patrick; This guy's good. ;s1e6_36 SpongeBob; He's a natural! ;s1e6_37 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick start simultaneously cheering Squidward on as he tries to get away from the Queen Jellyfish.] ;s1e6_38 Patrick; Yeah, you got it, Squidward! ;s1e6_39 SpongeBob; Yeah, you're doing great! Go, Squid, go! ;s1e6_40 Patrick; Yeah, you're doing it, Squid! See what you've been missing?! ;s1e6_41 SpongeBob; Yeah, you got, Squid! ;s1e6_42 Patrick; You got what you wanted, Squidward! You can go that distance! Use that net! ;s1e6_43 SpongeBob; Be the net! ;s1e6_44 Patrick; Yeah! You're feeling it, Squid! That's it, all the way! The last 6 miles, make that, Squid! Go, go, go! ;s1e6_45 SpongeBob; Yeah, go by the eye of the tiger, by the eye of the tiger, by the eye of the tiger! Better, better, better! Yeah, yeah, yeah! You've got it now! ;s1e6_46 Patrick; It's in the bag! ;s1e6_47 SpongeBob; This is really your best day ever, isn't it? ;s1e6_48 {system}; [The Queen Jellyfish gives Squidward an extremely powerful sting. SpongeBob and Patrick stop cheering.] ;s1e6_49 Both;Oooh...;s1e6_50 {system}; [Cut to the next day where SpongeBob and Patrick walking in front of Squidward's place covered in bandages] ;s1e6_51 SpongeBob; Hey, Patrick. Well... [sighs] Thought yesterday went... [hesitates] pretty well, don't you think? ;s1e6_52 Patrick; I had fun. ;s1e6_53 SpongeBob; Me too. [some whirring is heard in the background] ;s1e6_54 Patrick; Here comes Squidward! ;s1e6_55 SpongeBob; Oh, great. [Squidward approaches in a stretcher] Hey, Squid! How about that... [Squidward rolls down the front walk in a wheeled medical bed with a container of life-saving fluid and in a full body cast.] ...best day ever? ;s1e6_56 Patrick; There's always tomorrow! [Squidward's bed bangs on the door, trying to get in] ;s1e6_57 SpongeBob; Um, we're really sorry about what happened yesterday, Squidward. [bangs the door again] Um, we got you a present! [it's the jellyfish that caused Squidward to encounter the Queen Jellyfish in a jar] It's the jellyfish. [Squidward scowls] ;s1e6_58 Patrick; You know, from yesterday! ;s1e6_59 SpongeBob; You're not still mad, are you? [Squidward opens the jar in SpongeBob and Patrick's direction] ;s1e6_60 Patrick; Yup, he's still mad. [The jellyfish chases after SpongeBob and Patrick and stings them repeatedly as they run into the distance. Squidward laughs to himself, his nose inflating and deflating again. The Queen Jellyfish returns and zaps him again. Now he's burnt to a crisp. The cast cracks off in pieces, leaving a completely blackened Squidward] ;s1e6_61 Squidward;Ow.;s1e6_62 {system}; [View of the Krusty Krab] ;s1e7_1 Squidward; [from inside] One Krabby Patty for table two. SpongeBob, I don't have the whole day. ;s1e7_2 {system}; [Cut to inside of the kitchen] ;s1e7_3 SpongeBob; [speaking in French accent] Oui, oui. Un Krabby Patty, Monsieur. First, les patty. [flips it up in the air and it falls into one of his holes. He holds up the other ingredients.] ;s1e7_4 Squidward; Come on, SpongeBob! ;s1e7_5 SpongeBob; Next, les ingredients. [throws them in the air] Ah, oui! [catches them in his holes and his pants] Les mustard. [squirts some mustard out and it lands in his eye] ;s1e7_6 Squidward; Les quit fooling around, where's my Krabby Patty? ;s1e7_7 SpongeBob; Les hold on a second! [takes his head and shakes it all up. When he puts it back on his body, his eyes roll around.] And...voila. [goes up to Squidward and pulls a Krabby Patty from under his nose speaking in normal voice] It's under your nose! [laughs and puts it on a plate. Squidward pretends to laugh.] ;s1e7_8 Squidward; You're killing me, SpongeBob! Ha ha ha... you really are. [Close-up on the patty] ;s1e7_9 SpongeBob; Look at it, Squidward. Mr. Krabs' gift to all of Bikini Bottom -- the Krabby Patty.. ;s1e7_10 Squidward; Okay, give it to me. [the Krabby Patty flies off of the plate and starts bouncing all over the place] Come on SpongeBob, stop it! ;s1e7_11 SpongeBob; I swear I'm not doing anything. Mr. Krabs! The Krabby Patty is haunted! [The patty slithers out the door and heads for the exit. Mr. Krabs spears it with his leg. A tiny thing comes out from it and Mr. Krabs inspects it with a magnifying glass.] ;s1e7_12 Mr. Krabs ; Avast, ye patty pirate! This is no ghost. This is... [view of in the magnifying glass, of a tiny jelly bean-shaped green creature with one eye] Plankton! Stealing me booty! ;s1e7_13 Plankton; Hear me, Krabs! When I discover your formula for Krabby Patties, I'll run you out of business! I went to college! [Mr. Krabs picks up the puny pest] Hey! Let me go! ;s1e7_14 Mr. Krabs ; Oh, I'll let you go, squirt. On a flying saucer! [laughs, then splats Plankton on a plate and spins him back across the street, to the Chum Bucket] Back to the Chum Bucket with you! ;s1e7_15 Plankton; You'll pay for this, Krabs! [slams through the doors] ;s1e7_16 SpongeBob; Uh... Plankton, sir? ;s1e7_17 Mr. Krabs ; Aye, he's been trying to steal me secret formula for years, but you haven't got it yet, have ye, bug? [laughs. SpongeBob joins in, braying with laughter. Mr. Krabs stops, but SpongeBob keeps laughing.] Okay. [SpongeBob keeps laughing] Enough, lad, it wasn't that funny. [SpongeBob keeps laughing] Get back to work! [SpongeBob stops laughing.] ;s1e7_18 {system}; [Cut to nighttime at the Krusty Krab.] ;s1e7_19 SpongeBob; [from inside] Okay, Mr. Krabs, see you tomorrow! ;s1e7_20 Mr. Krabs ; Good night, me boy! [SpongeBob walks out and walks past the Chum Bucket contently] ;s1e7_21 Plankton; [unseen] Psst... young man. [SpongeBob looks around to see where this voice came from] Yes, over here. Come on, boy, a little closer. [SpongeBob walks forward] Closer... [SpongeBob walks] Not that close! [a crunching sound is heard. SpongeBob lifts up his shoe revealing a squished Plankton.] You blasted barnacle head! I mean... hi. ;s1e7_22 SpongeBob; Plankton? [SpongeBob peels Plankton off his shoe and onto his hand] ;s1e7_23 Plankton;Ouch!;s1e7_24 SpongeBob; What do you want? ;s1e7_25 Plankton; I just want to talk. You could say we're friends, right? ;s1e7_26 SpongeBob; Um... no. ;s1e7_27 Plankton;Acquaintances?;s1e7_28 SpongeBob;No.;s1e7_29 Plankton; [beat] Well, we're both invertebrates, aren't we? ;s1e7_30 SpongeBob; I... guess so. ;s1e7_31 Plankton; You see? Everything works out. I have something for you. I've been keeping it in my secret compartment. [rummages through his back pocket and takes out a golden spatula] Ching! [in unison with the sparkling of the spatula] Sparkle, sparkle. ;s1e7_32 SpongeBob; Wow! A golden spatula! And it's even got my name on it. ;s1e7_33 Plankton; It's a gift! A gift from a friend. [hugs SpongeBob's thumb] Friends give each other gifts, and tomorrow is my birthday. [puts a birthday hat on his head and SpongeBob's thumb and then blows a noisemaker. He then takes out a cake.] And you know what I'd like more than anything in the whole wide world? [blows out the candles] ;s1e7_34 SpongeBob; A booster seat? [Plankton takes off the hat and throws out the cake] ;s1e7_35 Plankton; Booster seat? Hot dog! I mean, no. What I want for my birthday from you, my friend, is one of those [starts to drool] tender... delicious... Krabby Patties! [SpongeBob drops Plankton and gasps] ;s1e7_36 SpongeBob; You just want to be friends so you can get your hands on a Krabby Patty! And I bet it's not even your birthday tomorrow! ;s1e7_37 Plankton; Gee, and I thought you were stupid. ;s1e7_38 SpongeBob; You'll never get a Krabby Patty from me! [walks off, then stops] Even if we are friends! [runs off] Never, never, never, never! ;s1e7_39 Plankton; Oh, I'll get a Krabby Patty and you're gonna hand-deliver it to me personally! You weak-minded fool! [takes out a gramophone that plays evil music and laughs evilly to it.] ;s1e7_40 {system}; [Cut to SpongeBob's bedroom, where SpongeBob goes to sleep.] ;s1e7_41 SpongeBob; Good night, Gary. ;s1e7_42 {system}; [Gary meows. SpongeBob goes to sleep. Just then, one of the flowers on SpongeBob's bed pattern pops up. It's Plankton in disguise, wearing a backpack that looks more like an antenna-like machine.] ;s1e7_43 Plankton; [chuckling] SpongeBob, you will be mine! [pulls out the gramophone and laughs evilly to it, but it actually plays a children's song of the A-B-C's.] ;s1e7_44 {system}; [Plankton immediately realizes this and flips the record around on the other side. It plays the evil music like last time and he laughs. Then he walks through one of SpongeBob's holes and begins his journey. Plankton reads a map that looks like a regular road map, except with a giant brain in the middle of it.] ;s1e7_45 Plankton;" It should be in here... but where? [pan out to reveal he's standing on the brain] Where? Oh... [takes off the antenna thing on his back] This will be the beginning of the end! [outside, SpongeBob rolls to his left in his sleep. The brain falls to the right inside and Plankton falls off] Ouch! Stupid brain... [gives chase] Come back here, you swine! [SpongeBob then rolls to his right. Inside, the brain squishes Plankton. SpongeBob then sleeps on his back and the brain stops rolling. Plankton holds up a roll of duct tape] That's it, brain, you're going down! [Plankton uses tape to hold it down] Yes, yes, that's grand. [takes out blueprints] And now, for my very elaborate and college-educated plan. [the blueprints reveal a picture of the antenna thing labeled ""Control"" and an arrow pointing to a picture of a brain labeled ""Brain."" Plankton follows these instructions by jamming the control in the brain] And now, it's time for a little wakey-uppy. [his hands on the control levers, he uses his foot to press the ""Total Control"" button. Outside, SpongeBob wakes up.] ";s1e7_46 SpongeBob; Morning already? [Plankton jams the controls causing SpongeBob's legs to jam out to his side. He rumbles and falls down. Plankton laughs evilly] I... I feel a little funny today. [using the controls, he makes SpongeBob walk. Plankton laughs] ;s1e7_47 Plankton; I have you now! [outside, SpongeBob keeps walking towards the kitchen] ;s1e7_48 SpongeBob; Time for a well-balanced breakfast. [rams through the wall and through his refrigerator, emerging with bread, a bottle of milk, and an egg carton on his head] This isn't what I had in mind. [walks towards the straps with his pants attached] Let me just grab my pants. [walks toward them and they spring him. He eventually gives free and keeps walking.] I guess I'm not wearing any pants today. [crashes through the side of the wall] I guess I'm not using the door either. See you later, Gary! ...I guess. [Gary meows] You're right, Gary! There is something wrong with me! Squidward! Squidward! Wake up! I need some help! [inside Squidward's house, he tries to sleep. Off-screen.] Squidward! Help! ;s1e7_49 Squidward; Be quiet, SpongeBob! ;s1e7_50 {system}; [SpongeBob bursts through the wall of Squidward's bedroom] ;s1e7_51 SpongeBob;Help!;s1e7_52 Squidward; SpongeBob! What are you doing? I'm talking to you! SpongeBob! SpongeBob, are you mad?! ;s1e7_53 {system}; [SpongeBob turns his head to Squidward] ;s1e7_54 Plankton; [through SpongeBob] Shut your mouth, you mediocre clarinet player. ;s1e7_55 Squidward; Mediocre? [from inside, Plankton speaks through a microphone] ;s1e7_56 Plankton; You pretentious, little insignificant artist. Your snivelly creations are worth less than a protozoan's waste! ;s1e7_57 {system}; [SpongeBob snaps out of confusion] ;s1e7_58 SpongeBob; Something must be wrong with my brain! [his eyes roll into the back of his head and he sees Plankton and gasps] Plankton! [Plankton raises his eyebrow] What kind of friend are you?! ;s1e7_59 Plankton; Nonsense. You never liked me, anyway. You wouldn't even come to my birthday party! [from outside] ;s1e7_60 SpongeBob; Get out of my head! Leave my brain alone! ;s1e7_61 Plankton; Never! Never! [laughs and SpongeBob walks out backwards. Squidward turns pale and faints. SpongeBob crashes through Patrick's rock and reemerges with Patrick sleeping on his head. SpongeBob throws him off and he's pinned into the ground. SpongeBob walks toward the Krusty Krab. Inside SpongeBob.] Toot toot! How about a little take-out? ;s1e7_62 SpongeBob; No! No, never! [crashes through it, reemerging with a Krabby Patty. Plankton laughs evilly.] You can't fool me, Plankton, you want the Krabby Patty formula! [walks into the Chum Bucket] ;s1e7_63 Plankton; You are going to hand-deliver it to me personally! ;s1e7_64 SpongeBob; No, no, no! [they're inside and walk through a door] There's no one here. ;s1e7_65 Plankton; Don't remind me. Brace yourself, SpongeBob. This is my lab! [the room he's walked into has a screen with a live-action Labrador Retriever. The dog barks. They walk into the next room, a real lab.] And this is my laboratory! And did I ever show you my record player? [pulls the gramophone out again and it plays dramatic music and laughs] ;s1e7_66 SpongeBob; I must fight! [mumbles nonsensically, stretches his head out, and bites against the side of the door. His body keeps trying to walk.] ;s1e7_67 Plankton; No, no, no, no. [pushes the levers forward, which causes SpongeBob to lose grip and slam against the wall and wobble over to a giant funnel thing] There, you see how much easier it is when you help, friend? How do you like my analyzer? It tells the ingredients of whatever I put into it. [A robot arm clenching some seaweed comes in and drops it in the giant funnel analyzer. It has zapped and some beeping is heard from the giant computer screen. The screen, then reads what the computer says.] ;s1e7_68 Karen; Seaweed: 50% Sea, 50% Weed. [a picture of the seaweed appears] ;s1e7_69 Plankton; Impressed? Now let's reveal that secret formula. [laughs and pulls the lever forward, letting two of SpongeBob's fingers off the patty. He's holding it with both hands, so one finger from each hand.] And this little piggy brought home a Krabby Patty. [two more fingers loose grip.] This little piggy will help me drop it in. Any last words, SpongeBob SecretPants? [SpongeBob tries to resist, but stops] ;s1e7_70 SpongeBob; I just have to say I'm sorry I let Mr. Krabs down. [tears start to come out of his eyes] I let all of Bikini Bottom down. But worst of all, I let you down, [one of his teary eyes twinkles] you delicate little Krabby Patty? ;s1e7_71 Plankton;Mmm...;s1e7_72 SpongeBob; [tearing up even more] With your tasty, juicy, scrumptious, warm, steamy goodness. [inside, Plankton starts to get hungry] ;s1e7_73 Plankton; Steamy... [a live-action patty gets assembled on screen as SpongeBob states the ingredients] ;s1e7_74 SpongeBob; I'll never forget your 100% all-secret patty, secretly assembled with undersea cheese, pickles, lettuce, tomato, onion, all secretly steamed between two fluffy seaweed-sea buns. [inside, Plankton starts to drool excessively] ;s1e7_75 Plankton; Yes... yes... yes! [jumps out of one of SpongeBob's holes to the patty] Come to papa! [bounces off the patty and lands in the analyzer] Oh, boy... [now zapped and the computer reads out the analysis] ;s1e7_76 Karen; Plankton: 1% evil, 99% hot gas. [Plankton appears on the screen] ;s1e7_77 Plankton; Well, this stinks. ;s1e7_78 SpongeBob; Well, patty, I guess we can go home now. [walks out] ;s1e7_79 Plankton; SpongeBob, that's my Krabby Patty! [SpongeBob walks out the swivel doors and they go back and forth] Give it back, you porous freak! I command you! My patty! [the doors come to a close] No! I'll settle for some fries. ;s1e7_80 {system}; [Squidward gets dressed, takes a shower, gargles, and brushes his teeth. He re-enters the scene in a tuxedo with his hairpiece and sits down at the table. He hears laughter from outside. He goes to the window and notices that SpongeBob and Patrick are playing with bubbles. SpongeBob whispers into a bubble and it floats over to Patrick and pops.] ;s1e8_1 SpongeBobBubble; Hi, Patrick. ;s1e8_2 {system}; [Patrick giggles as he was about to blow a bubble. He eats the bubble and whispers into another bubble, sending it over to SpongeBob where it pops.] ;s1e8_3 PatrickBubble; Hi, SpongeBob. ;s1e8_4 SpongeBob; [whispering into bubble] Patrick, you're my best friend in the whole neighborhood. ;s1e8_5 {system}; [The scene cuts to Squidward's back window as he finishes stirring the liquid, and blows a bubble with it through the fork. Squidward's bubble is approached by SpongeBob's bubble, grows a leg, and kicks SpongeBob's bubble, thus popping it. Squidward's bubble floats over to Patrick and pops.] ;s1e8_6 SquidwardBubble; [mimicking SpongeBob] Patrick, you are the dumbest idiot it has ever been my misfortune to know. ;s1e8_7 {system}; [Patrick frowns and blows a bubble, sending it over to SpongeBob] ;s1e8_8 PatrickBubble; Do you really think that, SpongeBob? ;s1e8_9 SpongeBob; [whispering into the bubble] Of course, Patrick. Anyone with eyes can see that. ;s1e8_10 {system}; [The bubble floats over to Patrick and pops, followed by another bubble floating back over to SpongeBob] ;s1e8_11 PatrickBubble; Yeah? Well, I think you're ugly. [another bubble comes over and pops] Yellow is ugly! [two other bubbles, but smaller, float over and pops, both containing raspberry noises for SpongeBob] ;s1e8_12 SpongeBob; [talks into the bubble, puzzled] Patrick, what are you talking about? ;s1e8_13 {system}; [The bubble floats over to Patrick. Another of Squidward's bubbles floats over to SpongeBob and pops] ;s1e8_14 SquidwardBubble; [mimicking Patrick] SpongeBob, I no longer wish to know you. ;s1e8_15 {system}; [SpongeBob gasps] ;s1e8_16 SquidwardBubble; [mimicking Patrick] You give bottom dwellers a bad name. ;s1e8_17 {system}; [Squidward creates several other bubbles and they float over to SpongeBob] ;s1e8_18 SquidwardBubble; [mimicking Patrick] If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar! ;s1e8_19 {system}; [Squidward chuckles. Another bubble floats over to Patrick] ;s1e8_20 SquidwardBubble; [mimicking SpongeBob] Hey, Patrick, I heard there was a job opening down at the pet shop... as some newspaper! ;s1e8_21 Patrick; [stands up and yells at SpongeBob] Well, that makes you a big dummy, you dummy! ;s1e8_22 SpongeBob; [stands up and yells at Patrick] Yeah, well, that means that, uhh... so are you! ;s1e8_23 Patrick; Right, you're a turkey! ;s1e8_24 SpongeBob; What's that? ;s1e8_25 {system}; [Squidward arrives outside with a lawn chair and his souffle] ;s1e8_26 Patrick; It's what you are! ;s1e8_27 {system}; [Squidward begins to laugh hysterically at SpongeBob and Patrick's arguing.] ;s1e8_28 SpongeBob; Well, you're a bigger one! ;s1e8_29 Patrick; Well, you're still yellow! And you know what else is yellow? ;s1e8_30 SpongeBob;What?;s1e8_31 Patrick; You are! ;s1e8_32 SpongeBob; Yeah? Well, it doesn't matter what you call me, 'cause I never wanna see you again anyway! [goes inside through the back door and turns around] Aww, tartar sauce! [shuts the door, some houses in the background briefly jump of their foundations] ;s1e8_33 {system}; [Patrick angrily opens his rock, which closes and comes up sounding like an accordion.] ;s1e8_34 Patrick; Wow, Squidward, you're choking! [runs over to Squidward] Uhh... uhh, I know what to do, but I should wash my hands first. Oh, well. [takes a deep breath and performs CPR on Squidward. As he is doing this, each one of Squidward's tentacles suction cups pops up. Eventually, the fork comes out and Patrick catches it] I win! ;s1e8_35 Squidward; Wow! Patrick, you saved me! ;s1e8_36 Patrick; I did? ;s1e8_37 Squidward; Yup! You're a real lifesaver, friend! [shakes Patrick's hands] ;s1e8_38 Patrick; Friend? [holds Squidward] Friend... ;s1e8_39 Squidward; [uneasily] Yeah, Patrick, we're friends... [steps back] just friends. [they both notice SpongeBob is gazing from his window with a blank stare] ;s1e8_40 Patrick; So what are we gonna do tonight, best friend? [walks with Squidward over to the Easter Island head] ;s1e8_41 Patrick; Clarinet? I love music! ;s1e8_42 {system}; [Inside the pineapple, SpongeBob watches the two go inside Squidward's house] ;s1e8_43 SpongeBob; Ahh, who needs them? They're no fun anyway, right, Gary? [Gary is inside his shell] Gary? [knocks on his shell, it sounds hollow] ;s1e8_44 {system}; [Cut to Squidward's house] ;s1e8_45 Squidward; Squidward will be performing his version of Solitude in E minor. ;s1e8_46 Patrick; [sitting on a bench while clapping] Yeah! E minor! All right! Yeah! ;s1e8_47 {system}; [Squidward takes a deep breath and plays a note, and Patrick immediately falls asleep, to the annoyance of Squidward. Scene now cuts to SpongeBob.] ;s1e8_48 SpongeBob; Ah, what am I worried about? I got plenty of friends! I can name three right off the bat! [holds up three fingers] Uhh... ;s1e8_49 {system}; [SpongeBob draws faces on each finger with a broken smile] ;s1e8_50 SpongeBob; The gang's all here... [looks at the faces on his fingers, and his eyes well with tears] Ohhh! ;s1e8_51 {system}; [Squidward is dragging Patrick, who is still asleep, outside. Suddenly, after a few feet, his back gives out] ;s1e8_52 Squidward; Ow! Oh! My back! I threw out my back! ;s1e8_53 SpongeBob; [sees Squidward in pain] Oh, boy, now's my chance! [jumps out of the window] ;s1e8_54 Squidward; SpongeBob? No, no, stay back! ;s1e8_55 SpongeBob; [running] Don't worry, Squidward! I'm coming! ;s1e8_56 Squidward; No, no, no, get away from me! ;s1e8_57 SpongeBob; Hang on! I'll save you! [rips off his suit revealing a speedo underneath] ;s1e8_58 Squidward; [tries to get to his door] No, no! Get away from me! No, no! ;s1e8_59 SpongeBob; [jumps off a diving board] Hold on! ;s1e8_60 Squidward; No, no! Get away! [screams as SpongeBob dives into his back cracking it back into place] Oh! I'm ruined! I'm... I'm... I'm... I-I feel great! Thanks, SpongeBob! You're a real friend! ;s1e8_61 {system}; [SpongeBob smiles wide in glee] ;s1e8_62 SpongeBob;Friend...;s1e8_63 Squidward; N-no, no, no, I didn't mean that, no-no. ;s1e8_64 SpongeBob; Don't worry, Squiddy, old pal. That's what friends are for. [Squidward and SpongeBob walk to Squidward's house, an Easter Island head.] ;s1e8_65 {system}; [SpongeBob and Squidward are inside Squidward's house] ;s1e8_66 SpongeBob; So dumb Patrick fell asleep on ya, huh? Some friend. A real friend would perform for you! ;s1e8_67 Squidward; You play? ;s1e8_68 SpongeBob; Are you kidding? I've been playing bassinet for years! [takes one from the wall] Give me an A, buddy! ;s1e8_69 {system}; [Squidward plays a note and SpongeBob sings] ;s1e8_70 SpongeBob; Squidward is my best friend in the world. [grates strings with bow] Squidward is my best friend in the sea... ;s1e8_71 {system}; [The bow flies into what looks like Squidward's head and he screams. Fortunately, it turns out it's just a painting the real Squidward pulls the bow out and growls as he snaps it in half with his knee] ;s1e8_72 SpongeBob; [now playing with his fingers like a guitar] Squidward... ;s1e8_73 {system}; [Patrick, now fully awake, pops in through the window] ;s1e8_74 Patrick; Likes Patrick more than SpongeBob! [SpongeBob slams the window in Patrick's face] Oh! ;s1e8_75 SpongeBob; [strums harder before slamming the bass to the floor] And Patrick is a dirty, stinky, rotten friend stealer! [smashes the bass] Umm, I can fix this. ;s1e8_76 {system}; [Squidward is steaming red in fury.] ;s1e8_77 Squidward; Grrrrrryehhhhherrrryeh! [kicks SpongeBob out] ;s1e8_78 SpongeBob; ...So, uhh, I'll see you tomorrow, Squidward! Call me! ;s1e8_79 {system}; [Cut to Squidward's bathroom. Squidward begins walking into the bathroom.] ;s1e8_80 Squidward; Yech! That was disgusting! I feel like I need to scrub myself. [opens up the curtain and screams after he sees Patrick in his bathtub] ;s1e8_81 Patrick; Hey, buddy. I warmed it up for ya. [shows him a brush and soap] ;s1e8_82 Squidward; Patrick! Get out! And put some clothes on! ;s1e8_83 {system}; [SpongeBob peeks in through the upstairs window] ;s1e8_84 SpongeBob; What's the matter, Squidward, old buddy? [notices Patrick in the bath-tub] Oh, ho-ho! So this is what I find, huh?! My best friend and my ex-best friend and... [shown bath toys] ...rubber bath toys! ;s1e8_85 Patrick; [simultaneously] Oh, yeah?! Well, he was my friend first! ;s1e8_86 SpongeBob; [simultaneously] You're just a backbiting, backstabbing silly blob of... ;s1e8_87 Squidward; [screams] This can't be happening to me! [runs away while SpongeBob and Patrick stop their arguing as they notice Squidward's gone] ;s1e8_88 SpongeBob;Buddy!;s1e8_89 Patrick; Squidward, where are you?! ;s1e8_90 SpongeBob; Where'd ya go, friend? ;s1e8_91 Patrick; Where are ya, ol' buddy? ;s1e8_92 Squidward; [hiding in a trash can] Oh, this is nuts! I need a plan to get those two back together and outta my hair! ;s1e8_93 {system}; [Bubble transition. Cut to next scene, at SpongeBob's house. SpongeBob reads a magazine. The doorbell rings, and a letter is pushed under the door. Then he smells it] ;s1e8_94 SpongeBob; [sniffs letter] Squidward. [opens it] A dinner party? I'd love to! [knocks on Squidward's door and Squidward opens it] Did you miss me? ;s1e8_95 Squidward; Come on in! You look stunning. [shuts the door] ;s1e8_96 SpongeBob; I'd much rather dine with you than that lousy... [gasps when he sees Patrick] Say, what gives?! I'm not sitting near that maniac! ;s1e8_97 Patrick; Me neither! This was a setup! ;s1e8_98 Squidward; I thought you two were my best friends. ;s1e8_99 Squidward; [takes out a bottle of soda] Well, how about some soda, guys? [SpongeBob shows him his glass] ;s1e8_100 SpongeBob; Yes, please! [Squidward gives him some soda] Thanks, friend. [flicks Squidward's nose and drinks] ;s1e8_101 Patrick; How about some for your best friend? [SpongeBob puts his glass in front of Patrick's, so he gets the soda instead of Patrick] ;s1e8_102 SpongeBob; Thanks, best friend! [drinks] ;s1e8_103 Patrick; Can I have some now, buddy? ;s1e8_104 SpongeBob; Wait, I need some more! [pours SpongeBob another glass] ;s1e8_105 Patrick; I still didn't get any! [SpongeBob gives Patrick his soda] ;s1e8_106 SpongeBob; There ya go. More please! [Squidward fills his glass as SpongeBob drinks it really fast] ;s1e8_107 Patrick; [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward! ;s1e8_108 SpongeBob; [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward! ;s1e8_109 Patrick; [shows Squidward his glass] Hey, Squidward! ;s1e8_110 SpongeBob; [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward! ;s1e8_111 Patrick; [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward! [shows Squidward his glass again, but it's still full] Squidward! ;s1e8_112 Squidward; Patrick! Your glass is full! ;s1e8_113 Patrick; Oh, yeah... ;s1e8_114 SpongeBob; [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward! ;s1e8_115 Patrick; [shows Squidward his glass] Hey, Squidward! ;s1e8_116 SpongeBob; [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward! ;s1e8_117 Patrick; [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward! ;s1e8_118 SpongeBob; [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward! ;s1e8_119 Patrick; [shows Squidward his glass] Hey, Squidward! ;s1e8_120 SpongeBob; [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward! ;s1e8_121 Patrick; [shows Squidward his glass] Hey, Squidward! ;s1e8_122 SpongeBob; [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward! ;s1e8_123 Patrick; [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward! ;s1e8_124 SpongeBob; [shows Squidward his glass] Squidward! ;s1e8_125 Patrick; [shows Squidward his glass] Hey, Squidward! ;s1e8_126 {system}; [both show Squidward their glasses] Squidward! ;s1e8_127 Squidward; Sorry, boys, I'm all out of pop. I'm gonna go get some more. [walks away] Why don't you just stay here and chat? [closes door.] ;s1e8_128 {system}; [Then we see SpongeBob and Patrick. They are extremely fat and not wanting to look at each other. Then SpongeBob hiccups and a bubble floats up and pops that sounds like a burp. Both of them laugh and the entire house is full of bubbles as Squidward walks up to his door with a grocery bag. Then an explosion and crashing sounds are heard] ;s1e8_129 Squidward; I should just walk away right now. [opens door to find his house destroyed] What a surprise... I invited them in, and I left them alone. Well, Squidward, what have we learned today? [pieces around the door break] ;s1e8_130 SpongeBob; Guess what, Squidward? [both SpongeBob and Patrick hold each others' hips in a friendly way] ;s1e8_131 Patrick; Me and SpongeBob are friends again! ;s1e8_132 Squidward; Great, now go be friends somewhere else. ;s1e8_133 SpongeBob; Don't you want us to help you clean this up a little? ;s1e8_134 Squidward; No! Out! ;s1e8_135 {system}; [Both SpongeBob and Patrick walk out] ;s1e8_136 SpongeBob; Psst, I think he's jealous. ;s1e8_137 Patrick; How pathetic. ;s1e8_138 {system}; [Squidward shuts door hard and when he turns around as a bubble comes and pops on the door which causes the door to fall on his back] ;s1e8_139 Squidward; Ohhhhh, my back. ;s1e8_140 {system}; [SpongeBob's foghorn alarm goes off] ;s1e9_1 SpongeBob; This is it, Gary! ;s1e9_2 Gary;" Meow. [SpongeBob's bed bounces up and flings SpongeBob onto the calendar, where he lands on March 3rd with the words ""boating exam today!"" on it then drops to the floor] ";s1e9_3 SpongeBob; The big boating exam is today! I've never felt so capable! [A door opens from underneath him. He comes out of his house riding a unicycle] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. Squidward! Squidward! ;s1e9_4 Squidward;What?;s1e9_5 SpongeBob; I'm ready, Squidward! [rides his unicycle around Squidward's house] ;s1e9_6 Squidward; Ready to move? ;s1e9_7 SpongeBob; No, I'm ready to pass my boating test. [rides his unicycle towards Mrs. Puff's Boating School] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready... [stops his unicycle near a dumpster and jumps off of it] I'm ready-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-eady-ready. Well, pal, I won't be needing you anymore. [throws the unicycle into the dumpster] I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready! Oh, yeah! I'm ready! ;s1e9_8 Incidental 27 ; Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Yes! Hey, I just got my license! ;s1e9_9 SpongeBob; [snaps his fingers] Hey, I'm getting mine next! ;s1e9_10 Incidental 27 ; Hey, I doubt it! [walks off] ;s1e9_11 SpongeBob; Okay, see you on the road. I'm ready! Here I come, Mrs. Puff! I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ready. [jumps around the boardwalk. Camera goes inside the school, as a female pufferfish looks out the window and sees SpongeBob jumping around.] ;s1e9_12 Mrs. Puff ; [sighs] I'm not ready. [opens the door] ;s1e9_13 SpongeBob; Hi, Mrs. Puff! Today is the day I'm going to pass my boating exam! ;s1e9_14 Mrs. Puff ; [with a clipboard and a pen in hand] We'll see about that, SpongeBob. First we must... ;s1e9_15 SpongeBob; First I must pass the oral exam. I am confident in my abilities to successfully succeed. ;s1e9_16 Mrs. Puff ; I know. Okay, #1: What is the front of the boat? ;s1e9_17 SpongeBob; The bow. [Mrs. Puff writes down his answer] ;s1e9_18 Mrs. Puff ; What is the back? ;s1e9_19 SpongeBob; Stern. [Mrs. Puff writes down his answer] ;s1e9_20 Mrs. Puff ; #3: Right is... ;s1e9_21 SpongeBob; Starboard. [answers the remaining questions] Port. Skipper. Deck. Cabin. Galley. Keel. 1924. [Mrs. Puff writes down his answers] ;s1e9_22 Mrs. Puff ; You've passed the oral test. [sarcastically] What a surprise. [gets in the boat and secures herself tightly] Now it's time to once again take the driving portion of the exam. Okay, SpongeBob, get in the boat. ;s1e9_23 SpongeBob; Oh, in this boat right here? [looks at his watch] Is it time already? ;s1e9_24 Mrs. Puff ; Get in the boat, SpongeBob. ;s1e9_25 SpongeBob; Oh yeah, absolutely. [gets in and closes his eyes with a smile] ;s1e9_26 Mrs. Puff ; All you have to do is get on the track. ;s1e9_27 {system}; [SpongeBob's eyes spring open in awe he looks ahead to the track that gets longer and longer in delusion] ;s1e9_28 Mrs. Puff ; Okay, SpongeBob, what's the first thing you do? ;s1e9_29 SpongeBob;1924...?;s1e9_30 Mrs. Puff ; No, no. First thing is to start the boat. [turns the engine on and SpongeBob goes crazy] SpongeBob? SpongeBob? Relax, it's only the boat. ;s1e9_31 SpongeBob; The boat? ;s1e9_32 Mrs. Puff ; Okay, now what do you do next? ;s1e9_33 SpongeBob; Floor it? ;s1e9_34 Mrs. Puff ; Yes... no! No, don't floor it. ;s1e9_35 SpongeBob; Floor it?! ;s1e9_36 Mrs. Puff ; No, no, don't, don't floor it! ;s1e9_37 SpongeBob; Okay, floor it! [SpongeBob slams on the accelerator and starts driving backwards really fast] ;s1e9_38 Mrs. Puff ; No! No, no, no, nooooo! [the boat whizzes by some spectators before crashing into a lighthouse. After crashing, Mrs. Puff inflates to three times her size. The lighthouse falls, and Mrs. Puff speaks with a deep voice] Oh, SpongeBob, why? ;s1e9_39 Fred; My leg...! ;s1e9_40 SpongeBob; [in his bed at night] I don't know why, Gary. I don't know. I'm tired of failing that boating test. I've already taken it 37 times. ;s1e9_41 Gary;Meow.;s1e9_42 SpongeBob; Okay, 38. [puts his pillow on his head] ;s1e9_43 Gary; [puts on SpongeBob's boots] Meow. ;s1e9_44 Patrick; [over walkie-talkie in SpongeBob's bed] SpongeBob, this is Star Ranger, over. ;s1e9_45 SpongeBob; [through walkie-talkie] What is it, Patrick? ;s1e9_46 Patrick; [through walkie-talkie] I got a surprise for you. ;s1e9_47 SpongeBob; [through walkie-talkie] Oh, Patrick, I'm not in the mood. ;s1e9_48 Patrick; [through walkie-talkie] Get out of bed. [SpongeBob gets out of bed] ;s1e9_49 SpongeBob; [through walkie-talkie] Okay, now what, Patrick? ;s1e9_50 Patrick; [through walkie-talkie] Go to your closet for a surprise. [SpongeBob slides down a room and stands up in front of his closet door] ;s1e9_51 SpongeBob; [through walkie-talkie] Okay, I'm at the closet. ;s1e9_52 Patrick; [through walkie-talkie] Listen carefully. What's pink and square at the same time? ;s1e9_53 SpongeBob; [through walkie-talkie] I don't know, Patrick. [opens the closet door, revealing Patrick wearing SpongeBob's clothes] ;s1e9_54 Patrick; Patrick SquarePants! ;s1e9_55 SpongeBob; [deadpan] Pat, don't do that. [sits in a chair] I've got too much to worry about. ;s1e9_56 Patrick; What's the problem? ;s1e9_57 SpongeBob; I can't pass my boating exam. I've taken it 37... ;s1e9_58 Gary;Meow.;s1e9_59 SpongeBob; ...uhh, 38 times. I know all the answers... [Patrick's square pants rip off] ...until I get behind the wheel. I just need something to help me think straight. ;s1e9_60 Patrick; Thinking straight is what I do. You drive and I'll do all the thinking for you. [takes SpongeBob's walkie-talkie] ;s1e9_61 SpongeBob; How are we going to do that? [Patrick puts a walkie-talkie into SpongeBob's head with the antenna coming out of the top] ;s1e9_62 Patrick; Come in, SpongeBob. Hello? Hello? ;s1e9_63 SpongeBob; Hey! I can hear you in my head! This is great! While I'm taking the test, you can give me all the answers. [notices the antenna sticking out] Wait a minute, Patrick. Won't I look silly with this antenna coming out of my head? [Patrick puts a tall hat over the antenna. Next, we see a big telescope peeking out SpongeBob's upstairs window] ;s1e9_64 Patrick; [through walkie-talkie] Pat to Sponge, Pat to Sponge, testing, testing. [looking through the telescope at SpongeBob] Testing, testing, testing, testing, testing, testing! [loudly] Testing! [screams] Test, test. Do you read?! ;s1e9_65 SpongeBob; Sponge to Pat, I read you loud and clear, over. ;s1e9_66 Patrick; [through walkie-talkie] Got your apple ready? [SpongeBob shows an apple] Lucky undergarments? Hold on. Hold on. [focuses in on the underwear with the telescope to reveal the word lucky on the top of it] Bingo! Underwear, apple, and me. You're ready to get that license. Uh-oh, here comes Mrs. Puff! Act natural. [SpongeBob jumps out of the boat, then gets on the ground on all fours and starts chewing grass.] ;s1e9_67 SpongeBob; [Moos like a cow] ;s1e9_68 Patrick; [through walkie-talkie] No, no, get in the boat! [SpongeBob jumps in the boat. An ambulance arrives with its siren on and drops off Mrs. Puff] Give her the apple. [SpongeBob gives her the apple] ;s1e9_69 SpongeBob; Here you go, ma'am. [Mrs. Puff throws apple in her mouth and swallows] ;s1e9_70 Mrs. Puff ; Let's get this over with. [takes a deep breath] What's the first thing you do? [puts hands and arms over head for protection] ;s1e9_71 SpongeBob; [starts to get scared] Uhh... ;s1e9_72 Patrick; [through walkie-talkie] Start the boat. [SpongeBob starts the boat. The engine starting up causes Mrs. Puff to go crazy] ;s1e9_73 SpongeBob; Mrs. Puff. Mrs. Puff! ;s1e9_74 Mrs. Puff ; Whoa-ho! Huh? What? ;s1e9_75 SpongeBob; It's okay, it's only the boat. ;s1e9_76 Mrs. Puff ; The boat? You started the boat? ;s1e9_77 SpongeBob; I... I think so. ;s1e9_78 Mrs. Puff ; Oh. Well... what's the second thing you do? ;s1e9_79 SpongeBob;1924?;s1e9_80 Patrick; [through walkie-talkie] No, no, put it in drive. ;s1e9_81 SpongeBob; Put it in drive? ;s1e9_82 Mrs. Puff ; Yes, yes, yes! [SpongeBob pushes lever down to drive] Put it in drive. Then what? ;s1e9_83 SpongeBob; [lifts leg up] Floor it? ;s1e9_84 Mrs. Puff ; No! [screams] No! ;s1e9_85 Patrick; [through walkie-talkie] Freeze, mister! [SpongeBob stops] Big toe. [SpongeBob's big toe pops out of his shoe and gently pushes the accelerator down] ;s1e9_86 Mrs. Puff ; Oh, gracious. Oh, gracious! Oh-oh. Ha-ha! Ah, we haven't crashed yet. ;s1e9_87 Patrick; [through walkie-talkie] Okay, you're coming to your first turn. [a giant wall with the word wall on it is shown and a left curve] ;s1e9_88 Mrs. Puff ; Oh no, the first turn. Please, tell me you know what to do at the first turn! ;s1e9_89 Patrick; [through walkie-talkie] Left. [SpongeBob turns left] ;s1e9_90 Mrs. Puff ;Oh!;s1e9_91 Patrick; [through walkie-talkie] Right. [SpongeBob turns right] ;s1e9_92 Mrs. Puff ; Oh! My, this is splendid, SpongeBob. You're doing fine. ;s1e9_93 Montage; [SpongeBob stops at a stop sign and looks both ways before starting to drive again. Then drives around with his left arm out making a signal. Patrick still talking to SpongeBob through the walkie-talkie as SpongeBob drives over a big hill in the road. As Mrs. Puff writes a couple things on her clipboard, Patrick is putting on another pair of SquarePants. SpongeBob pulls back on the boat and the boat jumps in the air over a big anchor. Patrick finds SpongeBob's diary and begins to read and laugh at it as SpongeBob jumps off a ramp through a ring of fire. Fred is walking across the course but SpongeBob stops the boat and helps him walk across. He gets back in the boat as Patrick is eating out of SpongeBob's fridge. SpongeBob is sitting back and driving with his feet and driving upside down.] ;s1e9_94 Mrs. Puff ; Splendid! Wonderful! [sign that reads finish line is just ahead] There's the finish line. It's unbelievable. You've shown the most spectacular improvement of any student I've ever seen. What's your secret? A little radio in your head? [everyone laughs] Oh, and under that hat is some kind of, uhh, antenna? [everyone laughs again] And some guy miles away from here is giving you all the answers? [everyone laughs a third time] Oh, yes, but that would be cheating. ;s1e9_95 {system}; [SpongeBob opens his eyes wide realizing he is cheating only Patrick laughs] ;s1e9_96 Patrick; Cheating! [laughing hysterically] ;s1e9_97 SpongeBob; I'm cheating?! Mrs. Puff! ;s1e9_98 Mrs. Puff ; Yes, my star pupil? ;s1e9_99 SpongeBob; I think I'm cheating. ;s1e9_100 Mrs. Puff ; What's that, dear? [SpongeBob takes a hold of Mrs. Puff] ;s1e9_101 SpongeBob; I think I am cheating! ;s1e9_102 Mrs. Puff ; You've... you've let go of the wheel. ;s1e9_103 SpongeBob; I do have an antenna under my hat! [shows the antenna under his hat] There is a guy giving me all the answers! It's all true! [crying] I'm cheating! I'm cheating! I'm cheating! ;s1e9_104 Patrick; What?! [runs out of SpongeBob's house and back under his rock, crying] ;s1e9_105 SpongeBob; I'm sorry, Mrs. Puff! I'm sorry! ;s1e9_106 Mrs. Puff ; [panicking] The wheel, SpongeBob! The wheel... ;s1e9_107 SpongeBob; Cheating... I'm a cheater! Cheater... ;s1e9_108 Mrs. Puff ; No, no, no! It's quite alright! You can cheat that way! ;s1e9_109 SpongeBob; No... I'm cheating...! ;s1e9_110 Mrs. Puff ; At least, SpongeBob... ;s1e9_111 SpongeBob; I'm cheating! ;s1e9_112 Mrs. Puff ; Cheat that way! That way! ;s1e9_113 SpongeBob; I'm a cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater! ;s1e9_114 Mrs. Puff ; It's okay to cheat today! ;s1e9_115 SpongeBob;No...!;s1e9_116 Mrs. Puff ; That way! That way! Cheat that way! ;s1e9_117 SpongeBob; Cheater...! [crashes offscreen head-on into the same lighthouse. Mrs. Puff inflates with a look of despair. The lighthouse falls yet again] ;s1e9_118 Mrs. Puff ; [deep voice] Oh, SpongeBob, why? ;s1e9_119 SpongeBob; Mrs. Puff, I think I cheated. ;s1e9_120 Fred; My leg! [some time later, EMTs are wheeling a still-inflated Mrs. Puff away on a gurney] ;s1e9_121 SpongeBob; Uhh, I'm sorry for letting you down again, Mrs. Puff. ;s1e9_122 Mrs. Puff ; [normal voice] It's okay, SpongeBob, you didn't mean it. Okay, boys, take me away. [EMTs shove Mrs. Puff into the ambulance] ;s1e9_123 SpongeBob; Don't worry, Mrs. Puff. I'll try harder next semester. [Mrs. Puff cries as she is taken away by the ambulance] It'll be great! [walks away] Only now I don't even have my bike. ;s1e9_124 Gary; [with SpongeBob's unicycle] Meow. ;s1e9_125 SpongeBob; Gary! My bike! You found it! This sponge is still mobile! [rides away on his bike with Gary on his head] Alright, let's go surprise someone at the hospital! ;s1e9_126 {system}; [The episode begins at the Krusty Krab with SpongeBob cleaning a table.] ;s1e10_1 Squidward; Hurry up with those chairs, SpongeBob. It's after closing and I'd like to go home! ;s1e10_2 {system}; [phone rings] ;s1e10_3 SpongeBob; I got it, I got it! Coming. [leaps for the phone, but Squidward answers it first. SpongeBob falls to the floor and exclaims] ;s1e10_4 Squidward; Hello? Sorry, sir, we're closed... [Mr. Krabs snatches phone] ;s1e10_5 Mr. Krabs ; Ahoy, there, Krusty Krab. How could I help you? [customer explains order over phone] Pizza? Mmm… [eyes turn into dollar signs] Of course we have pizza. ;s1e10_6 Squidward; Uh, Mr. Krabs... ;s1e10_7 Mr. Krabs ; Our delivery squid will bring it right over. [hangs up] ;s1e10_8 Squidward; But Mr. Krabs, we don't serve pizzas. [Mr. Krabs gets a plate of Krabby Patties and smashes them into a pizza. Then he puts it in a box] We don't deliver. ;s1e10_9 Mr. Krabs ; We don't deliver, [gives Squidward the pizza] but you do. ;s1e10_10 Squidward; Can't you just get SpongeBob to do it? ;s1e10_11 Mr. Krabs ; Great idea! Take him with you. [SpongeBob sneaks over smiling big] ;s1e10_12 Squidward; That's not what I had in mind! ;s1e10_13 SpongeBob;" Front end... check. Antenna... [touches the boat antenna making it vibrate] check. Bumper... check. Bumper sticker... [bumper sticker says ""I Brake For Sea Urchins""] ...check. [uncaps the tire pressure and puts his mouth in it, causing him to inflate like a balloon, and talk in a squeaky, high pitched voice while he is now the size of a giant parade balloon] Tire pressure! [blows out the rest of the pressure in Squidward's face, returning him to his normal size and voice] ...check. Vehicle inspection complete! We're really making history here, Squidward. That lucky customer is going to get the first Krabby Patty Pizza ever! ";s1e10_14 Squidward; Good, then you drive. [tosses his hat away] ;s1e10_15 SpongeBob; I can't. I'm still in Boating School. ;s1e10_16 Squidward; Come on, SpongeBob. It's just around the corner. ;s1e10_17 SpongeBob; Well, yeah, but... ;s1e10_18 Squidward; Just do what you do in school. ;s1e10_19 SpongeBob; Well, okay. Wait, don't tell me. ;s1e10_20 Squidward; Back it up. ;s1e10_21 SpongeBob;Huh?;s1e10_22 Squidward; Back... it up. ;s1e10_23 SpongeBob; Right, back... it up. [tries to move the stick shift down] ;s1e10_24 Squidward; Back it up! ;s1e10_25 SpongeBob; Okay, okay! ;s1e10_26 Squidward; Shift into reverse, SpongeBob! ;s1e10_27 SpongeBob;" Reverse? Oh, yeah, reverse. [SpongeBob imagines the words ""FORWARD"" and ""REVERSE"" turning into Korean characters ";s1e10_28 Squidward; Back it up! ;s1e10_29 SpongeBob; [shifts gears] Backing up! Backing up! [boat backs up really fast] ;s1e10_30 Squidward; [tries to get the wheel] Gimme the wheel, SpongeBob. Give me the wheel! ;s1e10_31 SpongeBob; Backing up! Backing up! Ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-ack-i-i-i-i-i-ng up! [They go over a bumpy area with rocks and then they spin around and around and around, screaming. The next morning, the boat goes over five hills] Backing up. Backing up. Backing up. [boat stops with no fuel left] Backing up. ;s1e10_32 Squidward; Well... you backed up. And you know what? I think we're out of gas. And you know what else? [echoing] We're in the middle of nowhere! ;s1e10_33 SpongeBob; And you know what else else? I think the pizza's getting cold. ;s1e10_34 Squidward; [startled] And the pizza's cold? Oh, the pizza's cold. Not the pizza! Oh, how could this get any worse?! [kicks boat and the boat's gasoline becomes full again and it drives away into the distance without them] ;s1e10_35 SpongeBob; Well, we can still deliver it on foot. ;s1e10_36 {system}; [Squidward narrows his eyes. Later, both walk on the sand] ;s1e10_37 Squidward; Ow, ow, ow. ;s1e10_38 SpongeBob; [singing] The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me. The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza... ;s1e10_39 Squidward; And my feet are killing me. Whoa! [trips over SpongeBob, who is lying on the ground] SpongeBob? What are you doing? ;s1e10_40 SpongeBob; [rubbing the ground] It's an old pioneer trick. I saw it in a movie once. ;s1e10_41 Squidward; SpongeBob, this is no time for... ;s1e10_42 SpongeBob; Shh, shh, shh. It's working. ;s1e10_43 Squidward; What is it? ;s1e10_44 SwordfishTrucker; Thrashin' frashin' break dancers! [honks his truck horn] ;s1e10_45 Squidward; He's stopping! He's stopping! [Squidward realizes he's not stopping and grabs SpongeBob out of the way where they are covered in sand thanks to the truck. Squidward narrows his eyes at the smiling SpongeBob] ;s1e10_46 SpongeBob; [SpongeBob and Squidward are now in a place with heavy winds] The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza for you and me. The Krusty Krab pizza... [the wind blows on Squidward's nose making it touch his face so he puts it down, only for it to touch his face again so he puts it in his mouth] ...is the pizza free delivery. The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza very ta-asty. [SpongeBob gets carried around in the air by the huge winds] Whoa! ;s1e10_47 Squidward; Will you let go of that stupid pizza, already?! ;s1e10_48 SpongeBob; [still being carried around in the air] I can't, it's for the customer! ;s1e10_49 Squidward; Who cares about the customer?! ;s1e10_50 SpongeBob; I do! ;s1e10_51 Squidward; Well, I don't! ;s1e10_52 SpongeBob; [wind stops and SpongeBob gasps] Squidward! [starts flying again] ;s1e10_53 Squidward; Let go of that pizza! ;s1e10_54 SpongeBob; No! [runs over Squidward] ;s1e10_55 Squidward; Ow! [holding SpongeBob's legs] SpongeBob, let go of that pizza! ;s1e10_56 SpongeBob; No! It's for the customer! ;s1e10_57 Squidward; SpongeBob! [they catch sight of a tornado nearby] Let go of the pizza! [gets lifted up into the tornado] ;s1e10_58 SpongeBob;No!;s1e10_59 Squidward; SpongeBob! [looks down and screams] Hang onto the pizza! [tornado spits them both out. SpongeBob uses the pizza as a parachute but Squidward falls hard onto the ground] Hey! Hey! [crawls up to the screen] Where's the road? Where's the road? [a tumbleweed rolls by] We're doomed! How are we gonna get home, which way do we go? [SpongeBob lands] What are we gonna do now? There's no road here! ;s1e10_60 SpongeBob; I think town's this way. [points] ;s1e10_61 Squidward; Oh, don't tell me, Jethro. The pioneers? ;s1e10_62 SpongeBob; That's right. [points to a mossy rock] Moss always points to civilization. ;s1e10_63 Squidward; That way? That way there? [SpongeBob nods] So, let me get this straight... you think that we should go that way? ;s1e10_64 SpongeBob; [nods again] Yep. ;s1e10_65 Squidward; Well, then I'm going this way. [heads the other way] ;s1e10_66 SpongeBob; Huh? Squid, wait! I don't think... ;s1e10_67 Squidward; Trust me, I know where I'm going. [Pans out to show another city in the other direction] ;s1e10_68 SpongeBob; [sings] The Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza, absolutivally. [later] pizza... [starts beatboxing] pizza... [later, SpongeBob is walking backwards. SpongeBob's pants almost split into two and move up and down simultaneously while he continues to beatbox. Later, SpongeBob sings with blues-rock soul] Krusty Krab pizza is the pizza, yeah, for you and [falsetto] me! [Later, SpongeBob and Squidward are weary looking and the former sings exhaustingly] Krab Pizza... for you. Krus... the Krusshy and the... Krab... pizza... [Later, they are both lying face down in the sand] ;s1e10_69 Squidward; Sponge, we gotta eat something. ;s1e10_70 SpongeBob; I heard in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat coral. ;s1e10_71 {system}; [Squidward eats some coral] ;s1e10_72 SpongeBob; No, maybe it wasn't coral. ;s1e10_73 {system}; [Squidward spits out the coral] ;s1e10_74 SpongeBob; Maybe it was sand, no, no, mud. ;s1e10_75 Squidward; Give me the pizza! ;s1e10_76 SpongeBob; Wait, I remember now. It was coral! ;s1e10_77 Squidward; Give it to me! ;s1e10_78 SpongeBob; No, we promised it's for the customer. ;s1e10_79 Squidward; [fancy music plays] You're right. It's for the customer. ;s1e10_80 SpongeBob;Yeah!;s1e10_81 Squidward; Maybe we better check on it, make sure it's okay. ;s1e10_82 SpongeBob;Well?;s1e10_83 Squidward; Just a peek. [opens box] ;s1e10_84 SpongeBob; [he shuts it quickly] Okay, it's fine. ;s1e10_85 Squidward; No, I think I saw something. [opens box] Oh, no. I was wrong. It looks okay. Sure is a fine-looking pizza. ;s1e10_86 SpongeBob; [entranced] Yeah... ;s1e10_87 Squidward; What's that? Is that the cheese? ;s1e10_88 SpongeBob;Yeah...;s1e10_89 Squidward; And the pepperoni? ;s1e10_90 SpongeBob;Yeah...;s1e10_91 Squidward; [SpongeBob slurps] Oh, looks good, huh? ;s1e10_92 SpongeBob; [snaps out of it] Wait a second, I know what you're trying to do, Squidward! [closes box] I'm not letting you eat the pizza! ;s1e10_93 Squidward; Give me the pizza! ;s1e10_94 SpongeBob;No!;s1e10_95 Squidward; Don't make me take it away from you, SpongeBob! ;s1e10_96 SpongeBob; Get away! [runs off] ;s1e10_97 Squidward; [chases SpongeBob] Get back here, SpongeBob, give me the pizza! ;s1e10_98 SpongeBob;No!;s1e10_99 Squidward;SpongeBob!;s1e10_100 SpongeBob;No!;s1e10_101 Squidward;SpongeBob!;s1e10_102 SpongeBob;No!;s1e10_103 Squidward; Wait! [he becomes too tired to run] ;s1e10_104 SpongeBob; No! No! [runs into Squidward] ;s1e10_105 Squidward; I want that pizza and you're gonna hand it over one way or another! ;s1e10_106 SpongeBob; Look, we're saved! ;s1e10_107 Squidward; Sure, we're saved. Now give me some pizza! ;s1e10_108 SpongeBob; No, really, Squid, we're saved! We're saved! We're saved! [he jumps in and out of his pants] ;s1e10_109 Squidward; Will you cut that out?! ;s1e10_110 SpongeBob; [to a conga beat, doing a backflip and some push-ups] Saved, saved, saved, saved! [rips himself apart then the two parts go in circles and then they connect again] Saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! [SpongeBob starts doing a conga dance] Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Saved, saved, saved, saved, saved, saved! Yes, we are saved! ;s1e10_111 Squidward; That's just a stupid boulder! ;s1e10_112 SpongeBob; It's not just a boulder. [sniff] It's a rock. [cries and hugs the boulder] A rock! A rock! It's a big beautiful, old rock. [climbs up it and rubs it] Oh, the pioneers used to ride these babies for miles, and it's in great shape. ;s1e10_113 Squidward; SpongeBob, will you forget the stupid pioneers?! Have you ever noticed that there are none of them left? That's because they were lousy hitchhikers, ate coral and took directions from algae! And now, you're telling me they thought they could drive... [SpongeBob runs over Squidward with the boulder] ...rocks? Hold on there, Jethro! ;s1e10_114 SpongeBob; [they stop outside the customer's house] I can't wait to see the look on our customer’s face! [rings doorbell] ;s1e10_115 Customer;Yeah?;s1e10_116 SpongeBob; Congratulations, sir. Your Krabby Patty pizza is here! ;s1e10_117 Customer; Wow, thanks! I've been dying for one of these. It... [he frowns, brief pause] Where's my drink? ;s1e10_118 SpongeBob; [confused] What drink? ;s1e10_119 Customer; [in an angry tone] My drink? My diet Dr. Kelp? Don't tell me you forgot my drink! ;s1e10_120 SpongeBob; [checks through the order, and sees no drink listed.] But, you didn't order any... ;s1e10_121 Customer; [yelling furiously] How am I supposed to eat this pizza without my drink?! ;s1e10_122 SpongeBob; But... but... [tears start rolling down his face] ;s1e10_123 Customer; Didn't you ever once think of the customer?! [throws the pizza box at SpongeBob's face] You call yourself a delivery boy? Well, I ain't buyin'! [slams the door. SpongeBob goes over to Squidward, smiling and trying not to cry] ;s1e10_124 Squidward; Sponge? Sponge? It's okay. Sponge? [SpongeBob drops the pizza, falls over, starts sobbing, and absorbs his tears over and over] Sponge? [SpongeBob continues crying. Squidward becomes furious. He grabs the pizza, stomps towards the customer's house and pounds on the door] ;s1e10_125 Customer; [answers the door, still angry] Another one? Look, I told your little friend I ain't payin' for that! ;s1e10_126 Squidward; [Customer's point of view] Well, this one's on the house! [brutally slams the pizza box in the customer's face] ;s1e10_127 SpongeBob; [still crying] Did he change his mind? ;s1e10_128 Squidward; [smugly] He sure did. Ate the whole thing in one bite. ;s1e10_129 SpongeBob; [stops crying] No drink? ;s1e10_130 Squidward; Nah. Now take me home. [jumps up on the rock] ;s1e10_131 SpongeBob; Are you kidding? We have just enough time to make it back to work! [backs up the rock where they are instantly at the Krusty Krab] ;s1e10_132 Squidward; Huh? [screen cuts to black] Oh, my aching tentacles! ;s1e10_133 Nematodes;" Walking, walking, walking, walking. [continue to repeat ""walking""] ";s1e11_1 NematodeOne;Hungry!;s1e11_2 Nematodes;" Hungry, hungry, hungry, hungry. [continue to repeat ""hungry."" All eat a whole large piece of coral] ";s1e11_3 NematodeOne; Still hungry! ;s1e11_4 Nematodes;" Still hungry, still hungry, still hungry, still hungry. [continue to repeat ""still hungry."" All eat a truck that drives by, leaving the driver floating] ";s1e11_5 Fred; Aw, dang nematodes! ;s1e11_6 NematodeOne;Thirsty!;s1e11_7 Nematodes;" Thirsty, thirsty, thirsty, thirsty. [continue to repeat ""thirsty."" They all bounce to SpongeBob's house and take out some straws. Then start drinking up the pineapple house. SpongeBob and Gary are still sleeping as various items in the bedroom shrink out of existence, including Gary's food bowl] ";s1e11_8 Gary; Meow. [The rest of the room begins to shrink as SpongeBob wakes up] ;s1e11_9 SpongeBob; Hooray, Gary! We're finally huge! [The room shrinks again, and the bed disappears, leaving SpongeBob on the floor] ;s1e11_10 Gary;Meow.;s1e11_11 SpongeBob; Huh? Wait a minute. [cut to the outside, where the nematodes are still drinking the pineapple] Oh no! [SpongeBob runs into the living room. He squeezes through the door and gets launched into the wall. Gary gets stuck in the door as he slithers in] ;s1e11_12 Gary;Meow!;s1e11_13 SpongeBob; [He crashes into the wall, flipping the side table over. The phone lands on his lap] Ow. Shell phone! I know. [while quickly dialing] I'll call Squidward. He'll know what to do. ;s1e11_14 Squidward; [on the other line] Hello? ;s1e11_15 SpongeBob;Squidward!;s1e11_16 Squidward; Is it time already for you to ruin my day? ;s1e11_17 SpongeBob; Squidward! Help me! [SpongeBob's phone starts shrinking as he tries to explain what's going on] My house is shrinking, I woke up this morning and it was getting smaller and [cut back to Squidward in his bed. SpongeBob's voice sounds fast and high-pitched as a result of his phone shrinking] smaller and the walls are closing in on me, Squidward, Gary is terrified too! [SpongeBob's phone disappears, and the phone call is disconnected] Oh no! ;s1e11_18 Squidward; Yep, it is. [SpongeBob screams] ;s1e11_19 Patrick; [comes out from his rock] Is it time already to ruin Squid's day? [peels off his rock and falls on his furniture, then jumps out with a tuxedo and top hat on] Hey, SpongeBob, don't start without me! ;s1e11_20 Nematodes; [continue sucking on SpongeBob's house, then they all burp and leave] ;s1e11_21 SpongeBob; Ohh... nematodes. [sees a seed on the ground, then picks it up] The only thing left of my house is this little pebble. [Patrick and Squidward walk up] ;s1e11_22 Squidward; What's going on here? ;s1e11_23 SpongeBob; I've got bad news, guys! Look at what happened to my house! It's gone! [sadly] It's all gone. What am I going to do? Where am I going to live? ;s1e11_24 Squidward; [smiling] Yeah... ;s1e11_25 Patrick; [his eyes bulge excessively in surprise] Hey, SpongeBob, your house is gone! ;s1e11_26 Squidward; Well, what can I say? [begins to shake SpongeBob's hand] It's been great knowing you, SpongeBob. Good luck, somewhere else. [walks back to his house as he continues talking sarcastically] I'm gonna miss you. Boo-hoo. Boo-hoo. [party favors fly out Squidward's windows as he celebrates] Boo-hoo! [starts to laugh] ;s1e11_27 Patrick; Squid's taking it real hard. What are you gonna do now? ;s1e11_28 SpongeBob; I guess I'll have to move back with my mom and dad. [shown a picture of SpongeBob's parents smiling] ;s1e11_29 Patrick; No, wait a minute, no you don't. [shown picture of SpongeBob's parents frowning] We can build you a new house! ;s1e11_30 SpongeBob; We can't build a house! ;s1e11_31 Patrick; Well, sure, it's easy! I built my house all by myself! [the antenna on Patrick's rock falls off] ;s1e11_32 SpongeBob; Alright, Patrick, lets get to work! [zoom in on SpongeBob and Patrick as construction workers] ;s1e11_33 Patrick;" [Patrick tries to hit a nail into a board, but hits his hand instead] Ow! Ow! Ow! [SpongeBob takes two buckets of paint, one red and one green. He pours the red paint on his backside and pours the green paint on his front side. He puts one side on a fence so that the paint gets on it, and then he does the other side the same way. He does this twice. As he tightens a loose bolt, the screen turns every time SpongeBob tightens the bolt sending Patrick sliding, falling upside down towards the sky, then back onto the ground right side up. SpongeBob nails pieces of wooden boards together in midair, and a piece falls off and lands on Patrick's hand, leading him to say ""Ow!"" each time. Patrick moves his board under the next board, which falls down on his hand. This happens several times. Next, shown SpongeBob's finished house, shown also with sparkles] ";s1e11_34 Patrick; [Patrick gives a big thumbs up with bandages wrapped around his thumb] We're done! ;s1e11_35 SpongeBob; Yeah! So what do you think? ;s1e11_36 Patrick; [SpongeBob's built house sparkles a bit] I wish I lived there. ;s1e11_37 SpongeBob;Really?;s1e11_38 Patrick; No. [SpongeBob puts the small pineapple on his head] ;s1e11_39 SpongeBob; One bedroom. [nose sticks out through the door and the pineapple breaks into pieces] ;s1e11_40 Patrick; Tartar sauce. ;s1e11_41 SpongeBob; [pets Gary] Well, looks like we've got to move back with Mom and Pop. ;s1e11_42 Patrick; Well, you can't move back in with your parents! When my parents kicked me out of the house, I never went back. Wait! You and Gary can come stay with me! ;s1e11_43 SpongeBob; That'd be great! ;s1e11_44 SpongeBob; Good night, rockmate. ;s1e11_45 Gary;Meow.;s1e11_46 SpongeBob; Good night, Gary. [SpongeBob goes to sleep but then is awaken to Patrick's snoring] Oh...what the...? [Gary hides in his shell and SpongeBob puts a cork in each side of his head, and goes back to sleep. The wind blows and Patrick shivers, he then pulls the rock closer to him, SpongeBob shivers in the cold and pulls it back over himself. Gary sits on top of the rock as they keep pulling it back and forth until Patrick keeps the rock closer to him. SpongeBob gets cold and he covers himself with sand on and goes to sleep. Patrick starts drooling heavily, filling his mouth, and flows like a stream over to SpongeBob. As SpongeBob snores, he absorbs the drool coming from Patrick and becomes a fat sponge. He waddles over to Patrick and removes the corks, spilling Patrick's drool out of him and down-sizing him to normal size. Then he takes out a bigger cork and puts it in Patrick's mouth and goes back to sleep. Patrick struggles, then spits out the cork] ;s1e11_47 Patrick; [lifts rock and starts smashing SpongeBob with it in his sleep several times when the spiders don't wanna get them] Oh! Spiders! Spiders! Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me! Get 'em off! Get 'em off, off me! Off, off, off! [he then goes back to sleep] ;s1e11_48 SpongeBob; No, Patrick! No, Patrick! No, wake up! No, wake up! No, it's me! I'm SpongeBob! [moves out of the rock and away from it a few feet and goes back to sleep but then wakes up] ;s1e11_49 Patrick; Spiders! Spiders! [picks up his rock, runs over to SpongeBob, and smashes him repeatedly with the rock, the spiders can't get him again] Spiders! Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me! ;s1e11_50 SpongeBob; Ow, ow, ow, oh, oh, ow, ow, ow, ow! [Patrick goes back to sleep] ;s1e11_51 SpongeBob; [shivers, in Squidward's house, he stands next to Squidward, holding Gary, as Squidward sleeps, he taps Squidward's nose as he whispers] Squidward? Squidward? ;s1e11_52 Squidward; [sleepily] H-h-huh? ;s1e11_53 SpongeBob;Squidward?;s1e11_54 Squidward; [sleepily] Whoa. Huh? Wha-what? ;s1e11_55 SpongeBob; Squidward, could we stay here a couple of days or a month or two? ;s1e11_56 Squidward; [sleepily] Uh, yeah, wha-wha-whatever. ;s1e11_57 SpongeBob; Thanks. Thanks, Squidward. [gets in bed with Squidward] Squidward, could you scoot over a little? ;s1e11_58 Squidward; [sleepily] Uh, oh, yeah, sure. [scoots over to the side] ;s1e11_59 SpongeBob; While you're at it, could you get me a glass of water? ;s1e11_60 Squidward; [sleepily] Okay. Hmmm, yeah, sure. [Sleepily talks a bit, gets out of bed and walks off, then comes back with a glass of water] ;s1e11_61 SpongeBob; Yeah, this is a real swell place you got here. [Squidward hands SpongeBob the glass] Thanks, buddy. ;s1e11_62 Squidward; [sleepily] Uh-huh. Y-you're welcome. [SpongeBob drinks the water] ;s1e11_63 SpongeBob; Yeah, I like sleepovers. ;s1e11_64 Squidward; [sleepily] Yeah. Me, too. ;s1e11_65 SpongeBob; Yep, this is great. Good night, Squidward. ;s1e11_66 Squidward; [yawns] Good night, SpongeBob. [Squidward's eyes pop open. Squidward opens the door and SpongeBob and Gary walk out] [unhappy] Good night, SpongeBob. [night turns to day then rooster crows to wake everyone up. Squidward opens his eyes excitedly] Tum-ta-dum! Today's the big day, Squidward! Don't wanna be late! [he flies into his closet, gets dressed, and goes outside] Gotta hurry! Hold it! Hold everything! [SpongeBob and Patrick stand outside, with bags] I would not want to miss this. The day SpongeBob moves! I can't believe it's really happening. ;s1e11_67 SpongeBob; Don't worry, Squidward. I'll come visit you. ;s1e11_68 Squidward; Don't try to cheer me up, SpongeBob. [changes his smile to a frown briefly] Please. ;s1e11_69 SpongeBob; Here come my parents. [Patrick beings to cry and the car horn sounds as SpongeBob's parents drive up] ;s1e11_70 Mrs. SquarePants ; SpongeBob! Hi, honey, we're here! ;s1e11_71 Mr. SquarePants ; Come on, SpongeBob, hurry, hurry, son, your mother has dinner waiting. ;s1e11_72 SpongeBob; Hi, Mom. ;s1e11_73 Squidward; Hello, Mrs. SquarePants! Let me help you with these bags. [picks up the bags and carries them to the car] ;s1e11_74 SpongeBob; Just give me a minute. [walks back to where his house used to be] I cannot hold onto you any longer, little pebble. [buries it into the ground in the middle of where his house used to be] You hold too many memories. [as he starts to cry, a tear falls from his nose and into the ground where the seed absorbs it, it then starts to glow. Then SpongeBob shakes Squidward's hand] Well, Squidward, this is goodbye. [walks away] ;s1e11_75 Squidward; Goodbye, SpongeBob, goodbye. [dances] Goodbye, SpongeBob. Bye-bye-bye. Goodbye, SpongeBob. Ha-ha. Goodbye, goodbye. [Patrick lies on the ground, bawling, as SpongeBob gets in the car] ;s1e11_76 Mrs. SquarePants ; Come on, SpongeBob. ;s1e11_77 SpongeBob; Goodbye, Patrick. Goodbye, Bikini Bottom. [Patrick holds onto the back of the boat, lifting the front into the air, as he cries] ;s1e11_78 Squidward; [still dancing] SpongeBob is leaving. He's leaving, he's leaving! [the seed shakes violently] La, la, la, la, la, la, la ha ha ha ha! [the seed shakes even more violently] He leaving, ha ha! [seed still shakes, then it sprouts three roots] SpongeBob is leaving, he's leaving! [Suddenly, the ground starts shaking. Squidward stops dancing, while SpongeBob, his parents and Patrick stare, bemused. A giant green stem grows out of the ground, SpongeBob's house grows from the plant and drops where his old house used to be and on Squidward. The stem then goes back into the ground] ;s1e11_79 SpongeBob; My house is back! [SpongeBob, his parents, and Patrick all happily run into the pineapple] Aww! Good old pineapple! It was exactly where it used to be! [continues praising all of the returned belongings he possessed in his original house. SpongeBob returns to Squidward lying under the floor] Aww, Squidward, isn't this great? I'm back forever! ;s1e11_80 Squidward; [muffled] Forever? ;s1e11_81 {system}; [The episode starts with young adult Mermaid Man flying through the water.] ;s1e12_1 TVAnnouncer; MermaidMan: Fleet and forceful. With the ability to assemble and charge the creatures of the deep. [as he speaks, a hammerhead shark attempts to eat two groups of fish but to no luck] ;s1e12_2 MermaidMan; By the power of Neptune! ;s1e12_3 TVAnnouncer; [as he speaks, young adult Barnacle Boy joins Mermaid Man] Mermaid Man, with his young associate Barnacle Boy, fights for all creatures who live in the sea, against the forces of evil. ;s1e12_4 {system}; [As the TV Announcer speaks, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy strike their rings they each hold on their right hands. They create a whirlpool aimed at Clam Head Candy Cad. A baby is crying at her highchair.] ;s1e12_5 ClamHeadCandyCad; [holds a baby's lollipop and spots the whirlpool] Oh, no! The Raging Whirlpool! [the whirlpool catches him and the lollipop falls on the baby's tongue] ;s1e12_6 TVAnnouncer; Mermaid Man! Champion of the deep. ;s1e12_7 {system};" [Mermaid Man throws a water ball at the screen, revealing the production logo ""MermaidMan & BarnacleBoy""] ";s1e12_8 {system}; [both watching the TV, excitedly] Yay! Champion of the deep! Woo! ;s1e12_9 SpongeBob; [dressed up as Mermaid Man] Come on, Barnacle Boy. There's evil afoot. ;s1e12_10 Patrick; [dressed up as Barnacle Boy] Leaping lampreys, Mermaid Man! I'm right behind you! ;s1e12_11 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick come outside and sneak behind Squidward, who's relaxing on a lounge chair wearing sunglasses.] ;s1e12_12 SpongeBob; Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy spotted their arch enemy, Reflecto, up to no good. ;s1e12_13 Squidward;SpongeBob.;s1e12_14 SpongeBob; You know what this means. [pulls out a box of donuts] ;s1e12_15 Patrick;Donuts.;s1e12_16 SpongeBob; By the power of Neptune. ;s1e12_17 {system}; [Patrick bites into his donut] ;s1e12_18 SpongeBob; Creatures of the deep, assemble! [both go into deep thinking] Think... harder... Barnacle Boy. [a jellyfish swims by] Here they come. ;s1e12_19 {system}; [Squidward blows the jellyfish away] ;s1e12_20 SpongeBob; Blast, Reflecto has become too powerful. ;s1e12_21 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick set up a tent over Squidward] ;s1e12_22 Squidward; What the? [groans angrily] ;s1e12_23 SpongeBob; If Reflecto is cut off from sunlight, he becomes weak. ;s1e12_24 Patrick; Jumping jellyfish, Mermaid Man. He's destroying the shield! ;s1e12_25 {system}; [Cut to Squidward destroying the tent in a fury] ;s1e12_26 SpongeBob; [gasps] Quick, Barnacle Boy, back to the sea cave. ;s1e12_27 Patrick; Right, Mermaid Man. ;s1e12_28 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick run back to the Pineapple, closing the door behind them.] ;s1e12_29 Squidward;SpongeBob!;s1e12_30 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick run to the door and knocks it hard] ;s1e12_31 Squidward; SpongeBob, open up! [Squidward continues knocking the door] ;s1e12_32 SpongeBob; Reflecto has found our secret lab. ;s1e12_33 Patrick; What would the real Mermaid Man do? ;s1e12_34 Squidward; Why don't you go ask him yourself? ;s1e12_35 SpongeBob; Elaborate, you vile fiend. ;s1e12_36 Squidward; He and Barnacle Boy live in the retirement home on the other side of town. ;s1e12_37 SpongeBob; Hmm, they must be working undercover. ;s1e12_38 Squidward; Yeah... now please leave me alone. [walks away] ;s1e12_39 {system}; [Patrick bites into the donut again] Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, reunite! ;s1e12_40 {system}; [Cuts to Shady Shoals Retirement Home, where SpongeBob and Patrick approach the manager] ;s1e12_41 SpongeBob; Excuse me, I know that Mermaid Man is working undercover on an important case, but you think we can see him? ;s1e12_42 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick gasp] ;s1e12_43 ShadyShoalsCaretaker; [whispers] Try not to surprise them. ;s1e12_44 SpongeBob; Oh! Patrick! Can you believe it? ;s1e12_45 Patrick; [holding onto SpongeBob] Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy in the flesh! ;s1e12_46 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick walk in front of the TV that Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are watching.] ;s1e12_47 BarnacleBoy; [pokes elbow at Mermaid Man] Hey, who are those guys? ;s1e12_48 MermaidMan; Uhh, are they here to fix the TV? ;s1e12_49 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick giggle.] ;s1e12_50 BarnacleBoy; What do you want? ;s1e12_51 SpongeBob; Are you Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy? ;s1e12_52 BarnacleBoy; Well, we used to be. But now we're retired. ;s1e12_53 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick gasp.] ;s1e12_54 SpongeBob; But you can't retire! There's evil afoot! ;s1e12_55 MermaidMan; Wha? Evil! Evil! [runs to a coral pot and starts hanging on it] Barnacle Boy! Come quick, I got the evil! ;s1e12_56 SpongeBob; All I said was there's evil afoot. ;s1e12_57 MermaidMan; Evil! Evil! E... ;s1e12_58 BarnacleBoy; Would you please stop saying that? ;s1e12_59 MermaidMan; [hanging on a water fountain. Incidental 88, who is nearby, shakes his head in disapproval] Evil! Evil, evil, evil, evil, evil! [water squirts at him] Death raaaaay! ;s1e12_60 {system}; [The caretaker comes, grabs SpongeBob and Patrick and throws them out the door.] ;s1e12_61 SpongeBob; Wow, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. ;s1e12_62 Patrick; It's too bad they're old. ;s1e12_63 SpongeBob; What do you mean, Patrick? Old people are the greatest. They're full of wisdom and experience. [real life captain gives a thumbs up and triumphant music plays] The world needs Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy. Someone, somewhere, is in trouble, and I won't rest until Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are out of retirement. [fireworks appear] ;s1e12_64 Patrick; Ooh! Pretty lights! ;s1e12_65 {system}; [At the Shady Shoals Rest Home cafeteria] ;s1e12_66 MermaidMan; To the meatloaf! [receives a slice of meatloaf into his bowl] To the broccoli! [receives some broccoli into his bowl. Mermaid Man looks at the orange cafeteria worker.] Make sure you give extra broccoli to my young ward. The boy needs his vitamins. ;s1e12_67 OrangeCafeteriaWorker; [gives some broccoli to Barnacle Boy's bowl] Here you go, son. Haha. ;s1e12_68 MermaidMan; To the table, away! ;s1e12_69 BarnacleBoy; Careful! D-Don't run! ;s1e12_70 {system}; [Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy take their seats. Just then, SpongeBob arrives.] ;s1e12_71 SpongeBob; Hey, Mermaid Man. [approaches Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy's table] ;s1e12_72 MermaidMan; Uh, here comes the TV repairman. ;s1e12_73 BarnacleBoy; What do you want from us? ;s1e12_74 SpongeBob; Hold on. Just let me look at ya. ;s1e12_75 MermaidMan; Stay alert, Barnacle Boy. He... he's up to something. ;s1e12_76 BarnacleBoy;" Will you cut... will you stop calling me ""boy""? ";s1e12_77 SpongeBob; Do you remember the time the food supply in Atlantis was running low? So you invented a ray gun that makes things grow six times their size to shoot at the kelp gardens. But then, [changes the shape of his head to look more rounded] the evil Man Ray swoops down and swipes the gun away and shoots all the algae! [mimes firing the gun] And he gloms onto the undersea dome! [jumps and lands mouth-first onto a table, where Incidental 88 is eating] And he starts sucking on the glass. [sucks on the table. Incidental 88 moves his oatmeal away from SpongeBob in disgust] ;s1e12_78 BarnacleBoy; What's your point, kid? ;s1e12_79 SpongeBob; You guys are the greatest heroes of all time, and I think you should come out of retirement. ;s1e12_80 MermaidMan; Listen up, you villains. I wanna eat my meatloaf. If you don't get out of here, then by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. ;s1e12_81 ShadyShoalsCaretaker; [enters the cafeteria] What is going on in here?! ;s1e12_82 MermaidMan; [points to SpongeBob, who stops smiling] You may kiss the bride! ;s1e12_83 {system}; [SpongeBob gets kicked out and rolls home, where Patrick was waiting for him] ;s1e12_84 Patrick; Did you re-unite our heroes? ;s1e12_85 SpongeBob; No, but I'm married. ;s1e12_86 {system}; [Back at the retirement home, Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy are in rocking chairs.] ;s1e12_87 MermaidMan; [moving vigorously on a rocking chair] Up, up, and away. Up, up, and away. ;s1e12_88 SpongeBob; [dressed up as a woman and speaking in a Southern accent] Oh, mah. This purse is so big and heavy. ;s1e12_89 Patrick; [dressed up as a robber] Hold it right there, ma'am. I'll be taking that. [grabs SpongeBob's purse] ;s1e12_90 SpongeBob; [screams] Hay-lp! Hay-lp! Hay-lp! ;s1e12_91 Patrick; It's working. ;s1e12_92 SpongeBob; [Barnacle Boy comes over to him] Wha, are you here to rescue little ol' me? ;s1e12_93 BarnacleBoy; [yells at SpongeBob, ruining his makeup] Pipe down! You could wake Mermaid Man and he's ornery when his nap is disturbed. ;s1e12_94 SpongeBob; [approaches Mermaid Man, who is sleeping with his eyes open] Ever alert, Mermaid Man has trained himself to sleep with his eyes open. ;s1e12_95 BarnacleBoy; Confound it, get away from him! ;s1e12_96 MermaidMan; [wakes up] Stop shoutin'! I'm nappin'! ;s1e12_97 BarnacleBoy; [close up to his face] It's not me, you old coot! ;s1e12_98 Incidental 80 ;Yes?;s1e12_99 Incidental 84 ; That's me. ;s1e12_100 Incidental 81 ; I'm over here. ;s1e12_101 {system}; [Cuts back to Mermaid Man, as he and Barnacle Boy start arguing with each other] ;s1e12_102 SpongeBob; [tugs on Mermaid Man pants] Excuse me, Mermaid Man. ;s1e12_103 MermaidMan; What do you want? ;s1e12_104 BarnacleBoy; This better be good. ;s1e12_105 SpongeBob; This'll cheer you up. We're almost done painting your invisible boatmobile. [The invisible boatmobile is shown almost completely covered in black paint and we also see Patrick smiling while holding a paintbrush with black paint on it.] ;s1e12_106 BarnacleBoy; [enraged] Gah! It's supposed to be invisible! That's it! [to Mermaid Man] We gotta end our life of leisure. It's time to come out of retirement. There's evil afoot. ;s1e12_107 MermaidMan; Evil! Where is it? ;s1e12_108 BarnacleBoy; There it is! [points at SpongeBob and Patrick] You know what this means? [opens up a box with their rings] ;s1e12_109 MermaidMan; [looking delighted] Donuts! ;s1e12_110 BarnacleBoy; Oh, brother. ;s1e12_111 {system}; [Barnacle Boy puts one of the rings on Mermaid Man and then they try to put both of the rings together, but they miss. Superhero sequence fails. Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy wave their arms around up and down to synchronize their positioning of their arms. So then they attempt to unite both of the rings together a second time. Both rings are successfully put together but the superhero sequence fails again.] ;s1e12_112 BarnacleBoy; Say the oath. ;s1e12_113 MermaidMan; [in his young voice] Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy, unite! [unite sequence succeeds while their rings are united together] Throw a waterball at 'em! ;s1e12_114 Patrick;Hehehehehe.;s1e12_115 BarnacleBoy; Mumbling morays. It's not working, Mermaid Man. ;s1e12_116 MermaidMan; He-he's-he's absorbing it like some kind of evil sponge! ;s1e12_117 Patrick; It's the Raging Whirlpool. ;s1e12_118 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick cheer as the whirlpool consumes them] ;s1e12_119 MermaidMan; Those fiends. They're actually enjoying it. ;s1e12_120 {system}; [the whirlpool begins to stop, they are still excited] Do it again! Do it again! Do it again! ;s1e12_121 BarnacleBoy; Now what, Mermaid Man? We need help! ;s1e12_122 {system}; [Ultrasound waves divert to various rooms in the retirement home. One of them hit an elderly fish.] ;s1e12_123 UnknownElderlyFish; Uh, what? [walks outside] ;s1e12_124 {system}; [Various old fish are summoned from the retirement home, and they come outside slowly] ;s1e12_125 BarnacleBoy; Hmm, the creatures of the deep seem to have lost some of their luster. ;s1e12_126 MermaidMan; Sea creatures, attack! ;s1e12_127 SpongeBob; Pinch me, I must be dreaming. ;s1e12_128 {system}; [Sea creatures, now carrying torches and pitchforks, pick up SpongeBob and Patrick] ;s1e12_129 SpongeBob; Mission accomplished, Patrick! ;s1e12_130 Patrick; Yeah, we did it! ;s1e12_131 {system}; [Sea creatures throw them out] ;s1e12_132 MermaidMan; [happily] I did it. I feel five years younger. Oh, it's good to be back! ;s1e12_133 BarnacleBoy; We did it, you ol' coot. [they shake hands] ;s1e12_134 MermaidMan; Who are you? [Barnacle Boy becomes annoyed] ;s1e12_135 {system}; [At SpongeBob’s house, the TV plays the production logo for “The New Adventures of MermaidMan & BarnacleBoy”] ;s1e12_136 TVAnnouncer; The New Adventures of Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy! [Shows Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy sitting at a table on opposite sides, a checker board in the middle with checker pieces] We join our heroes locked in a battle of wits. [Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy play checkers] ;s1e12_137 {system};" [Mermaid Man places a black checker on the board. A ""Pow!"" pow-bubble appears. Barnacle Boy replies by placing a red checker on the board, shaking nearby checker pieces. ""Clack!"" appears. Mermaid Man sweats, then places a black checker to the end of the board. A ""King Me!"" appears. Suddenly the phone rings.] ";s1e12_138 MermaidMan; It's the Aquaphone! [holds the phone upside down] What is it, Chief? Uhh, hello? Hello? Hello? [hangs up the phone] ;s1e12_139 {system};" [""HANG UP!"" appears.] ";s1e12_140 MermaidMan; That phone is still broken. Remind me to g-get that fixed. [sits down] ;s1e12_141 {system};" [""SIT!"" appears.] ";s1e12_142 BarnacleBoy; Remind you of what? ;s1e12_143 MermaidMan; Remind me of what? ;s1e12_144 TVAnnouncer; Will our heroes ever get their phone fixed? Tune in next week and find out. ;s1e12_145 SpongeBob; Wow. That was even better than the old show. ;s1e12_146 Patrick; It's all thanks to you. ;s1e12_147 {system};" [SpongeBob gives the thumbs up and winks ""WINK!"" appears, and the episode ends.] ";s1e12_148 Squidward; Welcome to the Krusty Krab. My name is Squidward. May I take your order? ;s1e13_1 Incidental 31 ; Hmmm... uhh... oh, I'll have a, uh... [Squidward takes out a pencil and a paper] ...no. [Squidward puts the pencil and the paper away] Oh, maybe... [Squidward takes out the pencil and the paper again] ...no. [Squidward puts the pencil and the paper away again] Hmmm... I'll have... [Squidward takes out the pencil and the paper again] ...no. Or maybe... ;s1e13_2 Squidward; Are you planning on ordering today, sir? ;s1e13_3 Incidental 31 ; I'll have a... Krabby Patty. ;s1e13_4 Squidward; [writing down the order] How original. ;s1e13_5 Incidental 31 ; And with extra onions. ;s1e13_6 Squidward; Daring today, aren't we? [takes the order and shows it to SpongeBob] One Krabby Patty, extra onions. [SpongeBob takes the piece of paper and puts it with the rest of the orders] ;s1e13_7 SpongeBob; One cryin' Johnny comin' up! [cracks his knuckles, then adds each ingredient as mentioned] First bun, then patty, followed by ketchup, mustard, pickles, extra onions, lettuce, cheese, tomatoes, and bun, in that order. One cryin' Johnny! Up! [he rings the bell] ;s1e13_8 Squidward; Whatever. [Incidental 5 comes up and tells him what he wants and Squidward relays the order to SpongeBob] Twelve Krabby Patties on wheat buns! [SpongeBob takes a plate and patties begin to appear on the plate] ;s1e13_9 SpongeBob; [at rapid speed] Bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun, bun, patty, ketchup, tomato, bun. [at normal speed] One dozen cryin' cows on the farm! Up! [Squidward takes the plate] ;s1e13_10 Squidward; Thanks, Farmer Brown. [gives the plate to Incidental 5] It's been a thrill serving you. ;s1e13_11 Incidental 5 ; Can I get some extra salt? ;s1e13_12 Squidward; We're all out. ;s1e13_13 Incidental 5 ; Could you check? ;s1e13_14 Squidward; No. [Incidental 5 glares at him as he leaves. Bubble Bass walks up to order] Let me guess, tiny, a small salad? ;s1e13_15 BubbleBass; I'll take a Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, four by four, animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim. [Squidward gives up writing all of that down] ;s1e13_16 Squidward; We serve food here, sir. ;s1e13_17 SpongeBob; [with the order done] I got it already, Squidward. [gasps] Bubble Bass! ;s1e13_18 BubbleBass; [pushes Squidward away] SquarePants! [walks to SpongeBob] I hear talk you make a mean Krabby Patty. ;s1e13_19 SpongeBob; [staring at Bubble Bass] Yep. I hear talk you're kinda picky. ;s1e13_20 BubbleBass;Yep.;s1e13_21 SpongeBob; Well then... here ya go! [Bubble Bass takes the plate and sits down where he examines the Krabby Patty until he decides to take a bite] Well, Bubble Bass, whaddaya think? ;s1e13_22 BubbleBass; This is pretty good. Only one thing. You forgot the pickles! [shows no pickles on the patty. The crowd gasps] ;s1e13_23 SpongeBob;No!;s1e13_24 BubbleBass; The best there is? I don't think so. You lose! [laughs] ;s1e13_25 SpongeBob; [checks the patty for pickles] But, the pickles should be right where they always are. I know I put them on! [the customers are disappointed. SpongeBob tears the patty apart, searching for the pickles] Where are those pickles? Pickles? Pickles? Pickles? [Bubble Bass walks up to Mr. Krabs, and throws Squidward out of the way again] ;s1e13_26 BubbleBass; I believe you owe me two bucks. ;s1e13_27 Mr. Krabs ; Two bucks?! ;s1e13_28 BubbleBass; Your guarantee. [points to the menu where in tiny print it says 'money back guarantee'] ;s1e13_29 Mr. Krabs ; Oh. That. Well, can't we talk about this? [takes out two dollars and Bubble Bass grabs it] ;s1e13_30 BubbleBass;No.;s1e13_31 Mr. Krabs ; [pulls the money back] How about a discount on restroom tokens? [Bubble Bass takes the money] ;s1e13_32 BubbleBass; Afraid not. ;s1e13_33 Mr. Krabs ; How's about a [Bubble Bass starts walking away but Mr. Krabs holds onto his dollar] free glass of water? A dozen free glasses of water! I'll even put ice in it! [Bubble Bass walks out the Krusty Krab with the money] No! Come back! Two dollars! [sobs] Two dollars, no! No! [walks over to SpongeBob] ;s1e13_34 SpongeBob; Mr. Krabs, I know I put pickles on that Krabby Patty. ;s1e13_35 Mr. Krabs ; [grabs SpongeBob] That two bucks is comin' out of your paycheck! [SpongeBob tries to hang onto the floor] ;s1e13_36 SpongeBob; Wait! Wait! Wait! [Mr. Krabs throws him into the kitchen] ;s1e13_37 Mr. Krabs ; Get back to work, we got orders waitin'! ;s1e13_38 Squidward; I need a Krabby Patty. ;s1e13_39 SpongeBob; Okay, I am not gonna blow it this time. Let's see. Bun down. Then ketchup, then mustard, then... pickles? No! That's not right! [starts a new patty] Bun down. Mustard, then ketchup, lettuce, then the... pickles? No! [tries again] Mustard down, bun stuff down, d'oh, where's the patty go? [tries again and uses the same bun] Pickles, ketchup, wait! D'oh, think! Think! I'm losin' it! [tries again] Bun down, shoe, mustard, pan, bun, no! [Mr. Krabs comes in] Mr. Krabs, I am so confused. I can't remember how to do anything. ;s1e13_40 Mr. Krabs ; Why don't you take the rest of the day off? ;s1e13_41 SpongeBob; Oh, no, Mr. Krabs. Who will make the Krabby Patties? ;s1e13_42 Mr. Krabs ; Oh, don't worry about that. We've got Squidward! ;s1e13_43 Squidward; Huh? What? [SpongeBob walks out and tries to leave] ;s1e13_44 {system}; [the scene bubbles transition to that night] ;s1e13_45 SpongeBob; Oh... was it mattress, mattress, sheets, pillow, then... SpongeBob? Or... [hits his head with his fist] D'oh... think, Sponge! Oh yeah! It was mattress, SpongeBob, mattress, then sheets, pillow. [gets in between the two mattresses] Good night, Gary. ;s1e13_46 Gary;Meow.;s1e13_47 SpongeBob; Aw, this isn't right. [he slips out and stands upside-down on his bed] Good night, Gary. ;s1e13_48 Gary;Meow.;s1e13_49 SpongeBob; Wait, this isn't right either. [SpongeBob lays down on his back] Nope. [SpongeBob is between each railing of the ladder] Nuh-uh. [tries sleeping with a mattress on his head] Negative. [tries sleeping on the ground next to his mattresses] C'mon, c'mon! Get it right. [tries in the lifesaver] Wrong. Wrong! Wrong! Nope! Naw! Negatory! Nyet! [keeps doing the wrong things as the clock fast-forwards to morning and the rooster crows where the alarm goes off. SpongeBob is on the floor under his bed] Aww, I almost had it! Alarm clock. D'oh, how do I turn this thing off? Think, think, think, think! ;s1e13_50 Gary;Meow.;s1e13_51 SpongeBob; Gary! [picks up Gary and shoves him in the foghorn alarm with dolphin noise where it is still going off with a squeak.] ;s1e13_52 Squidward; [At the Krusty Krab, there is black smoke coming from kitchen. Squidward coughs loudly, and clears the smoke off with a fire extinguisher] Patties are done. [Mr. Krabs notices black, burnt patties and gets irritated] ;s1e13_53 Mr. Krabs ; Urrgh! [Turns backwards from the counter after hearing customers starting to complain] ;s1e13_54 Incidental 30 ; Hey, he burnt my Krabby Patty. [his patty is burnt] ;s1e13_55 Incidental 63 ; He burnt my fries! [the burnt fries are piled up] ;s1e13_56 Incidental 65 ; [briefly drinks his burnt shake] He burnt my shake! ;s1e13_57 Mr. Krabs ; No! Come back! [sobs] No! No! Arrgh... I gotta get SpongeBob back! ;s1e13_58 {system}; [cuts to SpongeBob's house he nailed a toaster to the door] ;s1e13_59 Mr. Krabs ; [opens door] SpongeBob? ;s1e13_60 {system}; [music playing in reverse the house is a total disaster as everything is misplaced and things are everywhere and opposite.] ;s1e13_61 Mr. Krabs ;SpongeBob!;s1e13_62 SpongeBob; [he walks into view backwards and is wearing a pair of underwear over his head] Mr. Krabs, hello. Do you how do? ;s1e13_63 Mr. Krabs ; Why you talkin' funny, lad? [takes the underwear off SpongeBob's head] ;s1e13_64 SpongeBob; I anything can't do right since because pickles. ;s1e13_65 Mr. Krabs ; Nonsense, you'll be back makin' Krabby Patties like your old self in no time! ;s1e13_66 SpongeBob; I think don't ready back to go to work, Mr. Krabs. [walks off] ;s1e13_67 Mr. Krabs ; But you're fine, me boy! [SpongeBob walks right through the wooden kitchen door] Ooh... uhh, well... maybe not. [walks into the kitchen where SpongeBob is nailing a piece of bread to the table] All we need to do is get your confidence back. So you can make me more money! I-I-I mean, uh, patties. [chuckles] ;s1e13_68 SpongeBob; I how do that? ;s1e13_69 Mr. Krabs ; It's like riding a bike. You never forget! [notices a bike in a boiling pot of water on the stove] Uhh... um... I'm gonna help ya! [both of them are now shown sitting on the ground in SpongeBob's living room] If you learn to make a Krabby Patty again, your life will be back in order. [takes out a blanket with all the ingredients on it] ;s1e13_70 SpongeBob; Mr. Krabs, I don't know if I... ;s1e13_71 Mr. Krabs ; Take your time. [SpongeBob thinks of the Krabby Patty formula. It soon turns to night then day again. SpongeBob reaches for a bun and Mr. Krabs gets excited. SpongeBob puts bun back down] ;s1e13_72 SpongeBob; No, no, no, no, no. [Day becomes night again. Then day again and then night again. Mr. Krabs is sleeping until SpongeBob wakes him up] I got it! I got it! It's all very clear to me now, Mr. Krabs! ;s1e13_73 Mr. Krabs ; It is? ;s1e13_74 SpongeBob; Yes! I finally realize that [angry] I can't do it! I can't do it, Mr. Krabs! I'm a failure! ;s1e13_75 Mr. Krabs ; Don't talk like that! ;s1e13_76 SpongeBob; Don't you get it, you crustaceous cheapskate? I can't make a Double Krabby Patty with the works! [Makes patty as he tells Mr. Krabs the ingredients] I can't put a patty on a bun, with lettuce, cheese, onions, tomatoes, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and top bun together in that order! [realizes that he just put the patty together in the right order, which makes Mr. Krabs smirk] ;s1e13_77 Mr. Krabs ; It's time. ;s1e13_78 {system}; [Mr. Krabs and SpongeBob walk back to the Krusty Krab and Squidward is burnt with black smoke. SpongeBob rescues Squidward from the burning kitchen and sprays the burnt Squidward with the fire extinguisher] ;s1e13_79 Incidental 70 ; Hey, SpongeBob's back! [customers are cheering] ;s1e13_80 {system}; SpongeBob? Aw, the old chef. ;s1e13_81 BubbleBass; [he enters the restaurant, shoving the large crowd of people out of his way in the process] I hear SquarePants is back! [SpongeBob opens the kitchen door] ;s1e13_82 SpongeBob; I'm right here, Bubble Bass. ;s1e13_83 BubbleBass; I thought I ran you out of town. [spits a loogie into a bucket] ;s1e13_84 SpongeBob; This is where I belong. [holds up some bubbles and blows one. Bubble Bass gives a weird sounding roar] Rawr. ;s1e13_85 {system}; [The crowd gasps. SpongeBob and Bubble Bass glare at each other, while Mr. Krabs is sweating with anticipation.] ;s1e13_86 BubbleBass; Give me the regular, and this time, don't forget the pickles. ;s1e13_87 SpongeBob; [rushes into the kitchen and comes back with a Krabby Patty in the blink of an eye] I didn't. ;s1e13_88 {system}; [Mr. Krabs is violently sweating as Bubble Bass examines and eats the patty. It also cuts to the crowd, then Squidward, then SpongeBob.] ;s1e13_89 BubbleBass; Hmm... Still no pickles! [SpongeBob notices] See? [sticks out his tongue with all the chewed up food on it. Everyone is disgusted at the sight of it] You failed again, SpongeBob LoserPants! [laughs] ;s1e13_90 SpongeBob; [looks at Bubble Bass' mouth] Wait a minute! [grabs Bubble Bass' tongue and pulls it out] Look! [shows four pickles under Bubble Bass' tongue] He's been hiding the pickles under his tongue the whole time! ;s1e13_91 Mr. Krabs ; And there's the pickles from last time, too! ;s1e13_92 Incidental 45 ; And there's my car keys! [everyone walks up to Bubble Bass, all glaring at him] ;s1e13_93 BubbleBass; And... there's my ride! [rushes out of the Krusty Krab] ;s1e13_94 Mr. Krabs ; Three cheers for the return of our master fry cook, SpongeBob! Hip hip... ;s1e13_95 All;Hooray!;s1e13_96 Squidward;Hooray.;s1e13_97 Mr. Krabs ; Hip hip... ;s1e13_98 All;Hooray!;s1e13_99 Squidward;Whoop-de-doo.;s1e13_100 Mr. Krabs ; Hip hip... ;s1e13_101 All;Hooray!;s1e13_102 Squidward; Oh, boy. ;s1e13_103 SpongeBob; And three cheers for the fry cook who took my place when I was gone: Squidward! [Squidward smiles] Hip hip... ;s1e13_104 All;" Boo! [Squidward is shocked and frowns. The frown becomes more droopier with each ""Boo""] ";s1e13_105 SpongeBob; Hip hip... ;s1e13_106 All; Boo! [cuts to an outside shot of the Krusty Krab] ;s1e13_107 SpongeBob; Hip hip... ;s1e13_108 All;Boo!;s1e13_109 SpongeBob; Hip hip... ;s1e13_110 Customer; Boo! You stink! [the episode ends] ;s1e13_111 French Narrator ; Mrs. Puff's Boating School. Where diligent students learn the rules of the road. ;s1e14_1 Mrs. Puff ; Everyone, put down your books, because it's time to pick out the hall monitor of the day! [SpongeBob squeezes his pencil so hard it shoots up into the air] Let's see here. This week's hall monitor will be Bart, Jimmy, no, no, Tina, Ralph, mm... [gasps and shakes nervously] ...SpongeBob...! [SpongeBob moves his desk between two rows] It's Jimmy! Jimmy's the hall monitor. ;s1e14_2 Incidental 27 ; Mrs. Puff, I've done it already! [SpongeBob moves his desk closer] ;s1e14_3 Mrs. Puff ; Ohh... Phil? ;s1e14_4 Phil; No way, Mrs. Puff. [SpongeBob moves his desk closer] ;s1e14_5 Mrs. Puff ; Uhh, Tina, you're the hall monitor. ;s1e14_6 Incidental 8 ; Hey, I've done it 3 times already! [SpongeBob moves up closer] ;s1e14_7 Mrs. Puff ;B...uh...B-Beth!;s1e14_8 {system}; She graduated! ;s1e14_9 Mrs. Puff ; Henry?! [SpongeBob moves closer] Vera?! [SpongeBob moves closer] Clayton?! [SpongeBob is poking Mrs. Puff with his desk as she sighs] Alright, I guess I have no choice. [gulps] The hall monitor of the day is [she sighs] SpongeBob. [SpongeBob launches into the air] ;s1e14_10 SpongeBob; Yahoo! Hall monitor SpongeBob reporting for duty, ma'am! I am ready to assume my position... in the hall! I will protect all that are weak... in the hall! All rules will be enforced... in the hall! ;s1e14_11 Mrs. Puff ; Okay! Just take the hat and belt. [tries handing him the uniform] ;s1e14_12 SpongeBob; I can't accept that yet, ma'am. First, I have to make my speech. ;s1e14_13 Mrs. Puff ; You can't make this easy, can you? ;s1e14_14 SpongeBob; Classmates! Who am I to deserve such a great honor? Why, I would be nothing without Mrs. Puff. ;s1e14_15 Mrs. Puff ; Give me a break. ;s1e14_16 SpongeBob;" And to my public, all I can say is I'm touched. [sniffs] And furthermore, I will carry out my duties... [clock moves forward in time as SpongeBob continues his speech] ...crime and punishment, punishment and crime in the hall! [at this point, almost everyone is dreary-eyed] Which reminds me of an extremely long speech written by the greatest hall monitor of all time. [takes out a long roll of paper] ""Friends, students, juvenile delinquents, lend me your ears."" [the clock has disappeared, and it is now much later in the day. Puff is asleep at her desk] In conclusion, and without a moment to spare, I will put on this uniform [takes out the hat and belt] and assume my duties as... [puts on the uniform deep voice] ...hall monitor! Wish me luck, Mrs. Puff! [walks towards the door then turns around] Oh, and I will be re... [bell rings as all students excitedly run out the door, over SpongeBob] ";s1e14_17 Mrs. Puff ; SpongeBob, are you okay? ;s1e14_18 SpongeBob; [muffled] I overdid the speech again, didn't I? ;s1e14_19 Mrs. Puff ; I'm afraid so. ;s1e14_20 SpongeBob; Aww, tartar sauce. I guess I won't be needing this. [takes off the uniform] I hardly knew ya. [gives the uniform to Mrs. Puff and walks away saddened] ;s1e14_21 Mrs. Puff ; Uhh... SpongeBob? ;s1e14_22 SpongeBob; Yes, Mrs. Puff? ;s1e14_23 Mrs. Puff ; I can at least let you wear it until tomorrow. ;s1e14_24 SpongeBob; A-hoo! [dives into the uniform] Thanks, Mrs. Puff! ;s1e14_25 Mrs. Puff ; What are the consequences of what I've just done? [cut to SpongeBob walking down the street, singing somewhat incomprehensibly. Then notices a broken traffic light] ;s1e14_26 SpongeBob; Broken traffic light! Who's to say my monitor duties should end just because the bell rang? I can be helpful anywhere! This looks like a job for the [deep voice] hall monitor! [directs traffic, with a whistle, to their destination using all sorts of hand gestures, but ends up causing a huge wreck in the end] What would this town do without you, SpongeBob? ;s1e14_27 Fred; My leg! My leg! ;s1e14_28 SpongeBob; On patrol. I'm on patrol. [notices a house with an open window] Uh-oh, an open window. [peeks through the window and there is a couple eating] ;s1e14_29 Incidental 12 ; More seaweed medley, dear? ;s1e14_30 SpongeBob; The fools. They've left themselves susceptible to danger. I must show them the error of their ways through example. [jumps through the window and onto their table in a ski mask, screaming as he does so] I'm the open window maniac! [both run out screaming] I hope you learned a valuable lesson! [shuts the window and begins walking again] On patrol. I'm on patrol. I'm on patrol... [gasps as he sees a puddle of pink goo on the ground] Vandals! Another crime. [takes his finger and tastes the pink goo] hmm...strawberry! I must act! [more pink goo falls on his head. He looks up and sees Patrick sitting on top of a wall and eating some strawberry ice cream] Patrick... [looks around for the voice he just heard] Patrick... Patrick... ;s1e14_31 Patrick; My ice cream! It's alive! [screams and throws away the ice cream] ;s1e14_32 SpongeBob; Patrick! Down here! ;s1e14_33 Patrick; Oh, SpongeBob, it's you. [ice cream cone is on SpongeBob's face] ;s1e14_34 SpongeBob; Patrick. Come down here. [Patrick jumps down on top of SpongeBob] ;s1e14_35 Patrick; SpongeBob? SpongeBob? ;s1e14_36 SpongeBob; I'm down here. ;s1e14_37 Patrick; Hehe, you look funny! [hops off SpongeBob and pulls him off the ground] Hi, SpongeBob. ;s1e14_38 SpongeBob; That's hall monitor to you! [fixes his shape] ;s1e14_39 Patrick; Sorry, officer. ;s1e14_40 SpongeBob; Sorry's not good enough, Patrick. You've committed a crime, and I'm taking you in. ;s1e14_41 Patrick; What crime? [shows him the ice cream that is on the ground] I'm a bad person! [cries] ;s1e14_42 Morty;" [High Voice] Extra! Extra! ""Maniac strikes Bikini Bottom!"" City paralyzed with fear! [gives one to SpongeBob] [Gruff Voice] Take it, friends. Arm yourselves with knowledge. [runs off] [High voice again] Extra! Extra! Maniac strikes Bikini Bottom! ";s1e14_43 SpongeBob;" [reads paper] ""Maniac. Bikini Bottom? Car wrecks? Break-in?"". Who better to bring this maniac to justice than me, [deep voice] the hall monitor! But I can't handle this case alone. Patrick, are you ready to give up your life of crime? ";s1e14_44 SpongeBob; Hmmm... now you just need a symbol of authority. [Patrick puts the ice cream cone on his head] Perfect! It is our duty to catch this maniac and bring him to justice! But how to proceed? Listen, deputy, you're an ex-criminal. What would you do? ;s1e14_45 Patrick; Hmmm... I'd get an ice cream! [both walk out an ice cream store with ice cream] ;s1e14_46 SpongeBob; Okay, now what? ;s1e14_47 Patrick; Hmmm... [both come out the ice cream store again with ice cream] ;s1e14_48 SpongeBob; This isn't working. [throws his ice cream away] We've got to do something else. Something with walkie-talkies! [takes out two walkie-talkies. Patrick drops his ice cream and happily grabs a walkie-talkie] And now, duty calls! Alright, deputy, I'll go that way, you go some different way! Run ‘em out! [SpongeBob runs off sounding like a siren. The police come driving up and stop beside Patrick] ;s1e14_49 Incidental 118 ; Afternoon, son. ;s1e14_50 Patrick; Hello, brothers. [salutes to the officers, then raises both eyebrows whilst pointing to his cone hat] ;s1e14_51 Incidental 118 ; Son, we're looking for the maniac. ;s1e14_52 Incidental 118 ; Have you seen this man?! [He whips out a poster that says WANTED MANIAC with SpongeBob's picture on it.] ;s1e14_53 Patrick; [screams] It's the maniac! Take him away, take him away! ;s1e14_54 Incidental 118 ; Calm down, son. It's just a drawing, not the real thing. Now we're gonna show you this picture again, and you tell us if you've seen this guy. Understand? ;s1e14_55 Patrick; Yeah, uh-huh. ;s1e14_56 Incidental 118 ; Okay. [Orange Incidental 118 shows Patrick the poster again] ;s1e14_57 Patrick; [screams] Horrible! ;s1e14_58 {system}; [Orange Incidental 118 removes the poster, bemused. He holds up the poster again. Patrick screams again. Both cops then look at each other and smile slyly. Orange Incidental 118 repeatedly shows and takes away the poster as Patrick screams every single time. Eventually, the cops decide they've had enough fun.] ;s1e14_59 Incidental 118 ; Stay indoors, son. ;s1e14_60 Incidental 118 ; And, uhh, take that cone off your head. [both laugh as they drive off] ;s1e14_61 Patrick; [takes out walkie-talkie] SpongeBob? Come in, SpongeBob. Answer! ;s1e14_62 SpongeBob; SpongeBob here, Patrick. Report. ;s1e14_63 Patrick; [over walkie-talkie] I don't wanna be a policeman anymore. I'm scared! ;s1e14_64 SpongeBob; Get a hold of yourself, deputy. ;s1e14_65 Patrick; [over walkie-talkie, sobbing] I wanna go home! ;s1e14_66 SpongeBob; [sighs] Poor rookie. Alright, I'm on my way back. ;s1e14_67 Patrick; Hurry, SpongeBob, I think it's getting... [the bright sky suddenly, becomes dark] ...dark. ;s1e14_68 SpongeBob; Just put on your siren and I'll be right there. ;s1e14_69 Patrick; Wee-woo. Wee-woo. Wee-woo. Wee-woo. [Patrick picks up the poster that the officers showed him earlier. Then sees a darkish figure down the road. It's SpongeBob, but Patrick doesn't realize it Patrick gasps loudly] Wee-woo! Wee-woo! Wee-woo! SpongeBob! I see him! ;s1e14_70 SpongeBob; [over walkie-talkie] Where is he, Patrick? ;s1e14_71 Patrick; [over walkie-talkie] At the intersection of Conch and Coral. [SpongeBob turns his head around to read the street sign that says Conch Street and Coral Avenue] ;s1e14_72 SpongeBob; That's where I am! He's right on top of me, but I can't see him! What's he doing? ;s1e14_73 Patrick; Uhh, he's just standing there... menacingly! [screams over walkie-talkie] Get out of there, SpongeBob! [SpongeBob screams] That's his maniac shriek! He's going to attack! [SpongeBob cries while running around in circles] He's acting all crazy! Run! Hide behind that building! [SpongeBob hides behind the building] No, he's behind that building! Oh, quick, hide behind that street sign! [SpongeBob hides behind the street sign] No wait! The maniac just went behind that sign! Quick! Get under the street light! [SpongeBob gets under the street lights] No wait, agh, he's there, too! Run for your life! [SpongeBob jumps inside a mailbox. As he tries to relax, the radio is cutting out] ;s1e14_74 SpongeBob; [over walkie-talkie] Say again, deputy? ;s1e14_75 Patrick; The maniac's in the mailbox! [SpongeBob screams and bursts his arms and legs through the mailbox. He alternates between screaming and crazily jabbering as he runs through three buildings, causing them to topple over and eventually crashes through a fence plasted with wanted posters] ;s1e14_76 SpongeBob; [takes a look at a wanted poster] Huh, this guy's not half-bad-looking for a maniac. Wait a minute, Patrick, I'm the maniac! [Patrick screams in the background and a mass of police cars and several policeman surround SpongeBob] ;s1e14_77 Incidental 118 ; We'll take that as a confession. [Mrs. Puff appears] ;s1e14_78 Mrs. Puff ; SpongeBob SquarePants, there you are! I turn my back on you for one minute and you destroy half the city! You should be ashamed of yourself! [SpongeBob slumps sadly at these words] ;s1e14_79 Incidental 118 ; You know this guy? ;s1e14_80 Mrs. Puff ; Of course I do. I'm the one who gave him the uniform in the first place. He's my responsibility. [the cops glare at her] Uh-oh... [at the boating school where the whole class, except SpongeBob, is sleeping. Mrs. Puff is teaching class from jail through the TV] And in conclusion, students: red means stop, green means go. And SpongeBob... ;s1e14_81 SpongeBob; [frowns nervously] Yes, Mrs. Puff? ;s1e14_82 Mrs. Puff ; I'd like to see you after class. 6 months from now! [jail closure sound] ;s1e15_1 French Narrator ; Ah, Jellyfish Fields. Here we find SpongeBob once again stalking the wild jellyfish. SpongeBob? Allo? SpongeBob? Hmmm... he's supposed to be here somewhere... [narrator looks around and sees a square-shaped coral] A-ha! [Jellyfish floats by. SpongeBob puts his glasses on] ;s1e15_2 SpongeBob; Safety first. [SpongeBob slides to a jellyfish and captures it] A-ha! I finally gotcha! [SpongeBob grabs a wooden stool and sits on it. Puts on a farmer hat and 'milks' the jellyfish. Jelly comes out and squirts on a piece of bread. The jellyfish moos like a cow. He eats and starts speaking like the French Narrator.] Ah, there is nothing better than the taste of natural jelly from a jellyfish. [normal voice] See you later! [walks off but jellyfish floats towards him with his glasses] Oh, oh my glasses! Thanks, little guy! Bye! [the jellyfish floats with SpongeBob] I can't play anymore, jellyfish. I got to get home. [jellyfish hangs onto SpongeBob's nose] No. You can't go home with me. [jellyfish walks behind him. The jellyfish's steps are squeaking, like SpongeBob's] Jellyfish, you've got to stay here! [the jellyfish floats towards SpongeBob] Hey! [puts the jellyfish on a rock] Stay! [walks backwards] Stay... [jellyfish floats around SpongeBob. SpongeBob grabs the jellyfish and uses a slingshot to launch him somewhere else but the jellyfish ends up on his back. The jellyfish giggles. SpongeBob pulls the jellyfish off] [exasperated] Jellyfish! For the last time, you cannot come home with me! [SpongeBob looks at the jellyfish sternly. The jellyfish deflates as if he was sad. SpongeBob decides to keep him] Ahh, what the heck! [SpongeBob, with the jellyfish on a rope, like a dog, walk by Squidward's house] Squidward! Hey, Squidward! Squidward! Squidwardiard! [Squidward peeks out his window] Squidward! Look at my new pet! ;s1e15_3 Squidward; That's no pet, that's a wild animal. ;s1e15_4 SpongeBob;" No he isn't! Watch this! Fetch! [throws a stick so the jellyfish returns it. SpongeBob is holding up three fingers] How many fingers am I holding up? [the jellyfish hums deeply three times] Play dead! [jellyfish is buried underground with a tomb that says ""R.I.P."" He pops up] ";s1e15_5 Squidward; I wouldn't let that thing into my house even if it was potty-trained! [the jellyfish, still on the rope, is on a toilet reading a newspaper as he hums casually] I didn't need to see that. ;s1e15_6 SpongeBob; Well, we're going to my house to have a little fun. ;s1e15_7 Squidward; How can you possibly have fun with a jellyfish? [SpongeBob and the jellyfish dance to Stadium Rave A. Also, various colors change as they dance. Disco lights rotate around the room. SpongeBob's house is vibrating from the music] SpongeBob is the only guy I know who can have fun with a jellyfish... for 12 hours! ;s1e15_8 SpongeBob; [stops dancing. He is exhausted, sees the jellyfish dance more] Whew! Wow, you sure like to dance. Well, that's enough for tonight. [turns the music off] It's time to go to bed. [as he walks off, the jellyfish turns the music back on] Huh? [walks over to turn the music off] You got it all wrong, little fella. [the jellyfish turns the music back on. SpongeBob turns it back off] Bed. Repeat after me. [SpongeBob ties the rope around the jellyfish] Bed! [the jellyfish reaches for the stereo but SpongeBob pulls it off. Upstairs, SpongeBob ties the rope around his bedpost] We'll just keep you right here. ;s1e15_9 Gary;Meow.;s1e15_10 SpongeBob; Quit worrying, Gary. He'll be just fine. Good night, everybody. [as he is sleeping throughout the night, other jellyfish float inside the pineapple] ;s1e15_11 Gary; [wakes up] Meow. [jellyfish opens the window, and the 4 jellyfish talking in jellyfish speaking. Gary gets angry] Meow. [gets squirted with jelly from all the jellyfish, they laugh at Gary, and continue squirting jelly on him] Meow. [More jellyfish enter SpongeBob's House. It's now daytime and the rooster crows everyone up] ;s1e15_12 SpongeBob; Good morning, Gary. Good morning, jellyfish. Jellyfish? Jellyfish? Here, jellyfish. Oh, jelly! [puts on his green robe and goes to check downstairs] ;s1e15_13 Gary; [Follows SpongeBob to the doorway, while completely filled with jelly.] Meow. ;s1e15_14 SpongeBob; Oh, jellyfi-! [slips on some jelly. Opens a door leading into his living room and sees jellyfish dancing to music. The jellyfish are having a dance party.] Where'd you all come from? [jellyfish form a figure of a hand and the hand grabs SpongeBob. They stick over a light bulb like a disco ball and spin him. Then falls to the ground] Okay, that's it. Party is over! You guys have overstayed your welcome. [As SpongeBob is walking to the stereo, jellyfish form a flight of stairs that SpongeBob walks up and but does not notice] This music is way too loud. [He screams as he falls down. Jellyfish carry SpongeBob in a triangle] Very funny. [jellyfish carry SpongeBob in a rectangle] I'm serious! ;s1e15_15 {system}; [Jellyfish carry SpongeBob up and down the screen. The scene then goes to SpongeBob's house bouncing up and down because of the loud party. Scene cuts to Squidward's house. Squidward is still lying in his bed, holding a pillow against his face. He has not slept all night.] ;s1e15_16 Squidward; Grr! 18 hours! [falls off his bed, picks up the phone and dials SpongeBob's number] I'm gonna give that SpongeBob a piece of my mind! ;s1e15_17 {system}; [Cut back to the party. The phone rings and a jellyfish picks it up.] [garbled] Hello? ;s1e15_18 Squidward;" SpongeBob, listen to me, you square-headed assault on my ears! I've had enough of this! [Jelly squirts through the phone and onto Squidward's face] Strawberry. [Squidward plays his clarinet outside his window] Two can play at this! [plays ""Row Row Row Your Boat"" with his clarinet badly. Jellyfish form a smiley face.] ";s1e15_19 SpongeBob; Come on, guys, enough is enough! [SpongeBob hears the clarinet music in the distance.] Huh? [Cuts back to the Jellyfish's smile, but this time, turns into an angry frown when Squidward plays his clarinet] Uh-oh! [Jellyfish sting SpongeBob] Hey, take it easy! Ow! Okay, I'll talk to him! [SpongeBob peeks his head out his window] Squidward! Would it be possible to play your clarinet a little... better? I don't think the jellyfish like it. ;s1e15_20 Squidward; The jellyfish don't like...? [sarcastically] Why, sure, pal, I can play better. ;s1e15_21 SpongeBob; Okay, he said he'll play better. ;s1e15_22 {system};" [Squidward's house rotates slowly towards SpongeBob's house. He has a giant amp set behind him. In front of him is a microphone. Squidward inhales deeply as his house stretches, then he plays ""Row Row Row Your Boat"" with his clarinet again, but extremely loudly.] ";s1e15_23 SpongeBob; Uh-oh! That's not better! [Jellyfish knocks SpongeBob's coral plant over] Hey! Take it easy with that! [The jellyfish knock over his television] Those are my things! [The jellyfish knock over a wall decoration] Don't break th- Dow! [The jellyfish float out of the party and into Squidward's house] ;s1e15_24 Squidward; Uh, wait, I can turn it down. Ow! Ow! Ow! [the jellyfish sting Squidward and float back into SpongeBob's house, returning to their party.]A welt-covered Squidward walks up to the door and gives SpongeBob his clarinet] Everybody's a critic. You won't be hearing from me anymore. [hands SpongeBob his clarinet] ;s1e15_25 SpongeBob; Hey, now, that wasn't nice! [jellyfish take the clarinet and snap it in half. A fire forms and they dance around it in a circle. Boat horn toots as SpongeBob finally reaches his breaking point, shouting] Okay, that is it! Everybody out! ;s1e15_26 {system}; [SpongeBob grabs the stereo and runs toward the door but the jellyfish try to take it back so they can party more. Both sides accidentally let go and the stereo falls to floor and shatters into pieces with a crash causing the music to stop. SpongeBob gulps and the jellyfish start to quiver, due to the loss of the music, thus ending their party. SpongeBob stammers. The jellyfish get angry and sting SpongeBob] ;s1e15_27 SpongeBob; Come on, Gary! [SpongeBob and Gary head up to the roof. SpongeBob's house vibrates forcefully, and the jellyfish start to swarm around the house.] Gary, you were right. Thanks for not rubbing it in. [SpongeBob looks scared and his teeth chatter. Gary clicks his eyes together making a beat that the jellyfish can dance to.] Huh? They stopped? [holds Gary's eyes together and the jellyfish get angry again. Then he lets go of Gary's eyes and they dance again. Does this a couple more times and notices a trend.] Gary! Don't... stop... shaking it! ;s1e15_28 {system}; [SpongeBob takes Gary to Jellyfish Fields, the jellyfish following him behind in a line. Along the way, SpongeBob has other creatures and things join in the rhythm, first bubbles popping, a chest opening and releasing bubbles on the first beat, an anchor chain making tambourine noises, a dolphin chirping every fourth beat, a trio of anemones making synthesizer noises, a line of singing clamshells, jellyfish playing a harp, and soon a lively melody is playing. Eventually, he gets the jellyfish back home to Jellyfish Fields and he runs back to his home.] ;s1e15_29 French Narrator ; Today, SpongeBob has learned one of the sea's harshest lessons: wild animals can throw very wild parties. ;s1e15_30 {system}; [SpongeBob shakes Gary's eye, congratulating him. Meanwhile, Squidward sinks down into his bubble bath as he groans in pain.] ;s1e15_31 French Narrator ; Ooh, I felt that. ;s1e15_32 {system}; [The episode begins with SpongeBob running toward Sandy's treedome doorstep.] ;s1e16_1 SpongeBob; Hey, Sandy. Hey, Sandy. Hey, Sandy! ;s1e16_2 {system}; [SpongeBob knocks her door. While waiting for a response from the door, he notices a spaceship comes up from underneath the ground at the left side of the treedome.] ;s1e16_3 SpongeBob;Wow!;s1e16_4 {system}; [The rocket finally rises up to ground level. Sandy peeks her head out of a spaceship window.] ;s1e16_5 Sandy; Howdy, SpongeBob, how do you like it? ;s1e16_6 SpongeBob; What is it? ;s1e16_7 Sandy; It's a rocket ship, duh! I'll meet you downstairs and show you around. [rides an elevator on the bottom floor and meets SpongeBob downstairs] ;s1e16_8 SpongeBob; Wow, what are you gonna do with it? ;s1e16_9 Sandy; [pointing to a poster of the moon] I'm goin' to the moon, SpongeBob! ;s1e16_10 SpongeBob; The moon! Can I go? ;s1e16_11 Sandy; No way, SpongeBob. Especially after your little mishap with my whirlybird. [looks at a graveyard of dead animals, which the camera follows] Besides, there's not enough room for you. ;s1e16_12 SpongeBob; But I don't take up that much space! [squishes himself into a little square] See? [downsizes himself to fit into a little drawer] I can fit in here. [closes the drawer] Mmm, cozy. ;s1e16_13 Sandy; I need that drawer. ;s1e16_14 SpongeBob; Well, how about... [jumps into a test tube] This? [jumps into another test tube] Or this? [jumps into another test tube] Or this? [spins in a flushing motion] ;s1e16_15 Sandy; SpongeBob, this isn't for fun. [points to her clipboard with math equations on it] See this? This is science. I don't have time for games and I don't have time for stowaways. ;s1e16_16 SpongeBob; [behind a set of bars] Fine. [in a deep voice] Put me in the brig, [squeezes himself in the air vent] I don't mind! ;s1e16_17 Sandy; That's the air vent, SpongeBob. [pushes a button to turn the air vent on that blows SpongeBob out of it] I need that, too. ;s1e16_18 SpongeBob; Oh, please, can I go? Can I? Can I? Huh? Please? ;s1e16_19 Sandy; All right. Y'all can ride in the cargo hold if you just- ;s1e16_20 SpongeBob; [running around the ship] Yeah! Goin' to the moon! Moon ride, moon ride, moon ride! ;s1e16_21 Sandy; [grabs SpongeBob] But this time, just don't touch anything, okay? ;s1e16_22 {system}; [Bubble transitions to Sandy pumping a gun and SpongeBob comes to watch her] ;s1e16_23 SpongeBob; Wow, look at that pop gun. Are we gonna go hunting aliens on the moon? ;s1e16_24 Sandy; Aww, hush, silly. [shoots her gun and 3 gray nets cover a couple items] This is for harvesting moon rocks. ;s1e16_25 SpongeBob; Well, when you're done playing with rocks, you could use that for some serious alien hunting. ;s1e16_26 Sandy; Aliens? Are you nuts? I've been to the moon, there are no aliens. ;s1e16_27 Sandy; SpongeBob, you don't know the first thing about outer space. Now go home and get some shut eye. Be here tomorrow at the crack of dawn and leave your crazy alien notions behind. ;s1e16_28 {system}; [Scene cuts to SpongeBob's house at night. SpongeBob is trying to sleep. He checks the clock every few seconds, and tries to go back to sleep again.] ;s1e16_29 SpongeBob; [becoming fed up with waiting, shaking his clock] Oh, hurry up! [grabs two clothes pins] These oughta do the trick. [puts them on his eyelids] ;s1e16_30 Patrick; [Sitting in the window] Hi, SpongeBob! [clothes pins shoot off his eyes] ;s1e16_31 SpongeBob; What is it, Patrick? Can't you see I'm sleeping here? ;s1e16_32 Patrick; Well, I heard you're going on that moon trip tomorrow, so I just wanted to bring you something. ;s1e16_33 SpongeBob; A present? ;s1e16_34 Patrick; No. Uh, SpongeBob, is Sandy's rocket alien proof? ;s1e16_35 SpongeBob; There are no aliens, Patrick. Just ask Sandy. ;s1e16_36 Patrick; Well, I guess you won't be needing this alien repellent for your trip! [pulls out a spray can] ;s1e16_37 SpongeBob;" Alien repellent? Let me see that. [looks at the can] ""New Alien-Out Window Protectant. Does not stop burglars."" Well, I guess you're right, Patrick. We'd better go spray those windows! ";s1e16_38 {system}; [Bubble transitions to SpongeBob and Patrick walking up to the rocket] ;s1e16_39 Patrick; Look how big it is, SpongeBob! ;s1e16_40 SpongeBob; It's pretty impressive, all right. ;s1e16_41 Patrick; Come on! [both head for the rocket] ;s1e16_42 SpongeBob; We're just here to spray the windows, Patrick! ;s1e16_43 SpongeBob;" We don't! We're just spraying the- [Patrick pulls a blinking lever marked ""open,"" door opens on SpongeBob] -windows. ";s1e16_44 Patrick; I opened it, SpongeBob! Come on! [both walk inside] Holy sea cow, SpongeBob. This must be the control room. ;s1e16_45 SpongeBob; Yeah, just don't touch anything. [Patrick suddenly runs off] ;s1e16_46 {system}; [Patrick grabs a computer and starts playing with the controls] ;s1e16_47 Patrick; Look, I'm winning! ;s1e16_48 SpongeBob; Patrick, cut that out! Patrick, come on! We can't hang around in here. This is Sandy's big rocket, not some kind of fun... [SpongeBob turns around and looks at himself as thin in the mirror] ...house? ;s1e16_49 Patrick; Winner! Yeah! High score! Whoo hoo! ;s1e16_50 SpongeBob; Hey, Patrick, what game was that, anyway? ;s1e16_51 Patrick; I don't know! [notices a lever above his head] But let's see what this does! ;s1e16_52 SpongeBob; Patrick, I don't think we should... [Patrick pulls a lever and the two launch off the seat out of the rocket] ;s1e16_53 Patrick; I like rockets. [both fall back into the rocket] More! More! [approaches another machine] ;s1e16_54 SpongeBob; No more! [Patrick presses a button and both vibrate a lot then stop] Okay, one more. [vibrating again] Okay, that's enough. Let's go. ;s1e16_55 Patrick; Hey, I think this one starts it! [SpongeBob stops Patrick from pushing a button] ;s1e16_56 SpongeBob; Patrick, what are you doing? I'm the space traveler here. And I happen to know that that particular button is right over here. [presses the start button and the ship starts up] ;s1e16_57 Patrick; You've started the rocket! ;s1e16_58 Sandy; [wakes up to the alarm horns blaring and notices the smoke] Aww, SpongeBob... ;s1e16_59 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick hold onto each other while falling down a long shaft as the ship is taking off] ;s1e16_60 Patrick; Hang on, buddy! [while screaming, SpongeBob and Patrick are still falling down to the bottom of the ship. The ship flies upward out of the ocean past Bikini Atoll arriving into space, and both of them start to float.] Hey, we stopped falling! ;s1e16_61 SpongeBob; Look! [points at the dark galaxy] We're in space now! Whee! [both float around in the ship] ;s1e16_62 Patrick; [frantically worried] Hey! Whoa! Somebody get me down, or up, or something! ;s1e16_63 {system}; [SpongeBob laughs as the ship orbits around the moon] ;s1e16_64 Patrick; Hey, SpongeBob, watch this! [squirts toothpaste into some peanut butter] ;s1e16_65 SpongeBob; Hey, you got your toothpaste in my peanut butter! [he and Patrick laugh] ;s1e16_66 {system}; [The ship finishes circling the moon and prepares to return down to the surface. SpongeBob lifts a heavy barbell on one finger] ;s1e16_67 SpongeBob; Patrick, I can do this! ;s1e16_68 {system}; [The ship lands back into the sea and the barbell smashes into the ground and flattens SpongeBob's hand.] ;s1e16_69 Patrick; [scowls] Hey, who turned the heavy back on? ;s1e16_70 SpongeBob; We must be landing. ;s1e16_71 Patrick; All right! ;s1e16_72 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick run off to exit the ship. Meanwhile, Sandy uses her jetpack to fly up to the moon] ;s1e16_73 Sandy; Sometimes that SpongeBob is as dumb as a sack of peanuts. ;s1e16_74 {system}; [The ship is now in Bikini Bottom, landed nearby Squidward's house. While Sandy on jetpack searches for SpongeBob and Patrick on the moon, these two get out of the ship] ;s1e16_75 Patrick; Wow, it sure looks a lot like home. [Patrick sees Gary outside licking himself] Hey, look, it's Gary! Come here, Gary. Gary! ;s1e16_76 SpongeBob; Wait, don't go near it, Patrick! Can't you see this is all a trick? The aliens are projecting our memories onto the environment! They're trying to confuse us, Patrick. ;s1e16_77 Patrick; So you mean to say they’ve taken what we thought we think and make us think we thought our thoughts we’ve been thinking our thoughts we think we thought?! I think? ;s1e16_78 SpongeBob; Okay, but I'm not gonna to fall for it! [SpongeBob captures Gary with a gray net-like substance and Gary meows worriedly] Yeah! ;s1e16_79 Patrick; You got him, SpongeBob! Won't Sandy be proud. ;s1e16_80 SpongeBob;" Sandy. I forgot all about her. Oh, she's gonna hate us for stealing her rocket. But won't she feel silly when I bring her back a real live alien? Aw, she'll love me! [grabs Gary] Come on, Patrick, the more, the merrier! [tosses Gary into the ship. Ship's number increases from 00 to 01 game show ding from ""The Price Is Right""] ";s1e16_81 Patrick; Alien hunting! Alien hunting! ;s1e16_82 SpongeBob;" Shhh, Patrick, don't let them know we're onto them. ""Uh, yeah, alien hunting. I saw that on TV, too. Gee, Patrick, let's drop in on our old pal Squidward and see what he's up to!"" [whispering to Patrick] Make sure your gun is pumped. ";s1e16_83 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick go in and see Squidward sleeping and muttering] ;s1e16_84 SpongeBob; Look at it, Patrick, it's disgusting. ;s1e16_85 {system};" [Squidward moves his arms and legs around then puts them back down. He mutters incomprehensibly and says, ""Grandma."" SpongeBob and Patrick shake nervously and pose as if ready to fire. Afterwards, they creep toward him.] ";s1e16_86 SpongeBob; It's even uglier up close. Let's begin the analysis. [SpongeBob takes the covers off. Squidward is wearing a pink floral top] ;s1e16_87 Patrick; Wait! What's that? [SpongeBob takes a red bag out from underneath Squidward. It appears to be a hot water bottle] I think I'm gonna be sick. ;s1e16_88 SpongeBob; Patrick, do you know what this thing is? ;s1e16_89 Patrick;Stinky.;s1e16_90 SpongeBob; No. It's an egg sack. Let's look at the embryo. ;s1e16_91 {system};" [Patrick puts flashlight under the so-called ""egg sack"" and SpongeBob's hands are under it] ";s1e16_92 {system};Twins.;s1e16_93 {system}; [Squidward rolls over in his sleep and his right tentacle sticks on Patrick's helmet. Patrick looks up and sees the details of Squidward's right tentacle.] ;s1e16_94 Patrick; Pardon my French, but get this thing off me! ;s1e16_95 {system}; [SpongeBob takes off Squidward's right tentacle, but now Squidward's tentacle legs attach SpongeBob, which he quickly takes off. SpongeBob and Patrick try to get his tentacles away from them but they wake him up instead.] ;s1e16_96 Squidward; Patrick and SpongeBob? Get out of my bedroom! And give me back my tentacles. [pulls back his tentacles onto his bed] ;s1e16_97 Patrick; It's awake! ;s1e16_98 SpongeBob; [grabs his net gun] Let's capture the little phony! ;s1e16_99 Squidward; [screams] Get away from me! ;s1e16_100 {system};" [SpongeBob and Patrick try to capture Squidward but he runs away, in which the pillow is captured instead. SpongeBob jumps to Squidward's bed, does an ""oogie boogie,"" Patrick does a Tarzan yell and chases Squidward. Outside, Mr. Krabs walks up with his pet worm and notices Squidward's house shaking. SpongeBob and Patrick come out with Squidward captured.] ";s1e16_101 Mr. Krabs ; Ahoy, there, lads! Up a bit late to be playing pirate, aren't ye? [laughs] ;s1e16_102 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick point their guns at his head Mr. Krabs holds his claws up.] ;s1e16_103 Mr. Krabs ; Wait! Don't shoot! Okay, okay, shoot me, but don't take me money! ;s1e16_104 SpongeBob; We don't want your money... moon man! [both capture Mr. Krabs and toss him and Squidward into the ship] Look at them squirming around in there. ;s1e16_105 {system}; [Mr. Krabs and Squidward mutter disgruntingly] ;s1e16_106 Patrick; Eww, gross. ;s1e16_107 SpongeBob; Well, there's plenty more where those came from. ;s1e16_108 {system}; [Transitions to Mrs. Puff's Boating School] ;s1e16_109 SpongeBob; [at Patrick] Shhh... ;s1e16_110 Mrs. Puff ; [grading some of her students' paper] SpongeBob, what are you doing here so late? [captured] Whatever this is... [inflates herself and has a deep voice] ...it's going on your permanent record! ;s1e16_111 {system}; [Flats the Flounder is in the bathroom where he opens the mirror revealing SpongeBob inside, shocking Flats SpongeBob captures him. Incidental 33 is walking while holding an umbrella where she gets captured. Larry opens a mailbox and gets captured. Later, virtually every Bikini Bottomite is shown to be captured. Many of the Bikini Bottomites are complaining. Patrick struggles in putting them inside the rocket.] ;s1e16_112 Patrick; [trying to push the captured Bikini Bottomites inside the rocket] SpongeBob, I think we might have to make a second trip. ;s1e16_113 SpongeBob; There's no time for that! Just push harder. ;s1e16_114 {system}; [Off-screen, Sandy starts coming in on her jetpack floating down] ;s1e16_115 Sandy; SpongeBob, what are y'all doing? [SpongeBob looks at her Sandy is shown landing from her jetpack] I can't turn my back on you for two seconds without you causing a whole mess of trouble. Why look at ya, bagging up all your friends and neighbors just like they was a fresh crop of hickory smoked sausages. You done turned my little science experiment into a disaster. You two oughta should be ashamed of- [SpongeBob and Patrick capture her the two are then seen carrying her walking to the ship] ;s1e16_116 SpongeBob; Nice try, Sandy. ;s1e16_117 Patrick; Or should I say Ms. Alien Pants. [laughs] ;s1e16_118 Sandy; Aliens? Is that what this is about? [as Patrick giggles, SpongeBob and Patrick throw her into the ship] This isn't the moon! We're still in Bikini Bot-- [door is slammed shut] ;s1e16_119 SpongeBob; It just goes to show you: you can't trust anyone. ;s1e16_120 {system}; [Both SpongeBob and Patrick stare at each other, run off, and pump their guns.] ;s1e16_121 SpongeBob; So, you were an alien all the time and you didn't even tell me! ;s1e16_122 Patrick; I didn't even know! ;s1e16_123 SpongeBob; Yeah? Well, I got you now. ;s1e16_124 Patrick; Oh, but it's not you that's got me, it's... [Patrick catches himself with the gray netting as it turns out he had his gun pointed the wrong way] ...me that's got me. ;s1e16_125 {system}; [Scene cuts to the ship starting up] ;s1e16_126 SpongeBob; Boy, I can't wait to see the look on Sandy's face! ;s1e16_127 {system}; [The ship enters the surface but runs out of gas and stops on the moon.] ;s1e16_128 SpongeBob; Sandy, I'm back! [peeks out the window] Wow, Bikini Bottom sure looks different. [sees the Earth and realizes his mistake] Uh-oh... ;s1e16_129 {system}; [The screen fades to black, ending the episode.] ;s1e16_130 {system}; [Scene begins in Mr. Krabs' house. He is dancing around and singing a special birthday song that celebrates Pearl's birthday. He dances in front of her friends.] ;s1e17_1 Mr. Krabs ; [dancing and singing at Pearl's birthday party] Yar-har, Pearl's my daughter, I'll spit in your eye! Yo-ho, Pearl's a whale, and it's her birthday, yar-yar-yar! Ta-da! ;s1e17_2 {system}; [Pearl and her friends look bored. One of Pearl's friends lies her head on the table, in dissatisfaction.] ;s1e17_3 Pearl; Thanks for the show, Dad. Now can we open the presents? ;s1e17_4 Mr. Krabs ; Oh, all right. Presents for me darling little sardine. Here ya are. [places the present in front of Pearl] ;s1e17_5 {system}; [Pearl holds the present] ;s1e17_6 Pearl; Oh, you shouldn't have. What is it, Daddy? It wouldn't be those totally hip new flipper slippers all my friends are wearing, would it? Everyone wants them. ;s1e17_7 Mr. Krabs ; [feeling embarrassed] Uhh... they might be. ;s1e17_8 Pearl; Whee! [begins to unwrap present] Oh, you shouldn't have, yay, you shouldn't have. [sees the item inside present, suddenly goes from gleeful to annoyed] I mean, Dad, [holds up big boots] you really shouldn't have! ;s1e17_9 {system}; [Pearl's friends laugh] ;s1e17_10 Mr. Krabs ; Pearl, these are the finest fishin' boots available! ;s1e17_11 Pearl; Dad, you ruined me! [starts to cry] ;s1e17_12 Mr. Krabs ; But I got them for a bargain! ;s1e17_13 {system}; [The anchor house shakes from Pearl's screaming and wailing. Bubble transitions to the Krusty Krab, in Mr. Krabs' office. Mr. Krabs feels worried.] ;s1e17_14 Mr. Krabs ; Oh, what am I gonna do? I spent two whole dollars on these boots and now I'm stuck with them! ;s1e17_15 SpongeBob; [peeks into Mr. Krabs' office] Oh, uhh, Mr. Krabs, can I get my paycheck? ;s1e17_16 Mr. Krabs ; SpongeBoy, me Bob! Come in. Come in, right this way, laddie! [takes him to Mr. Krabs' desk] Have a seat anywhere, but not on these beautiful priceless boots. ;s1e17_17 {system}; [SpongeBob sits down, but the boots are in his way, so he can't see Mr. Krabs] ;s1e17_18 Mr. Krabs ; So you want to get paid? ;s1e17_19 SpongeBob; Uhh, sir, I can't see you. The boots [leans over to one side and Mr. Krabs leans towards the other] are in [leans over to one side and Mr. Krabs leans towards the other] the way. ;s1e17_20 Mr. Krabs ; [pushes the boots aside] In the way? These boots never leave my sight! These are the most expensive and prized possessions I own. ;s1e17_21 SpongeBob; Wow, really? Why is that, they just look like any old ordinary boots. ;s1e17_22 Mr. Krabs ; Ordinary boots? These are the only official fry cook boots! Only the finest fry cooks in the world are permitted to wear them! Part of a tradition. And these boots were given to me by the most famous fry cook in the sea. ;s1e17_23 SpongeBob; Who's that? ;s1e17_24 Mr. Krabs ; Oh, uhh, oh, well, his name's not important, but he was famous, all right, don't you worry. ;s1e17_25 SpongeBob; I'm ready! I'm ready! I want those boots! ;s1e17_26 Mr. Krabs ; Sorry, son, these boots are far too valuable. [takes boots away] ;s1e17_27 SpongeBob; Hmmm.. I know! What if I give you my Krusty Krab paycheck? ;s1e17_28 Mr. Krabs ; [thinking about the sound of money] Paycheck! You got a deal-- ;s1e17_29 SpongeBob; And what if I paint the Krusty Krab for free? ;s1e17_30 Mr. Krabs ; [thinking about the sound of money again] You've got a deal. ;s1e17_31 SpongeBob; And I'll throw in a year's supply of French fry orders! ;s1e17_32 Mr. Krabs ; [thinking about the sound of money yet again] You got a... ;s1e17_33 SpongeBob; And... [Mr. Krabs stops SpongeBob from saying anything else] ;s1e17_34 Mr. Krabs ; Hold on there, lad! You're gonna give me a heart attack! Phew! [shakes SpongeBob's hand] You got yourself a deal. ;s1e17_35 {system}; [Squidward is drying off a glass, rubbing it with a cloth. He blows the glass for a final shine, and is proud of it. He suddenly hears the sound of squeaking.] ;s1e17_36 Squidward; [scratches head] Hmm... ;s1e17_37 {system}; [He then looks through the glass and sees SpongeBob dancing around wearing boots. The scene is now viewed from the perspective of Squidward's eye.] ;s1e17_38 SpongeBob; Hey, Squidward. Do you like my new boots? ;s1e17_39 {system}; [Squidward blankly stares at him, and blinks] ;s1e17_40 SpongeBob; Pretty cool, huh? Now, I'm an official fry cook! ;s1e17_41 {system}; [Squidward feels mildly annoyed.] ;s1e17_42 {system}; [SpongeBob bounces up and down in the boots, making them squeak, as Squidward watches. Then SpongeBob bounces harder and faster until Squidward's head is bouncing up and down really hard trying to keep up. Then SpongeBob leaves to squeak his boots around the Krusty Krab, including jumping, walking with the boots on his hands, and doing the moonwalk. Squidward gets more annoyed at this.] ;s1e17_43 Squidward; [blocks his ears, makes an annoyed grunt] That squeaking is gonna drive us all crazy! ;s1e17_44 {system}; [Later that night, Mr. Krabs is going to bed. Mr. Krabs is in his room, lying in his hammock and imagining dollar bills jumping one-by-one into a cash register like counting sheep] ;s1e17_45 Mr. Krabs ; [muttering] Arrgh. Money, money, money, money, money. 10, 20, 30, 40... [all of a sudden, the pair of squeaky boots jumps into the register. He opens his eyes] Wha? Who's there? [realizing there was nothing wrong] Heh-heh... [fluffs his pillow] ;s1e17_46 {system}; [Mr. Krabs rests his head on his pillow] ;s1e17_47 Mr. Krabs ; Back to countin' me money. [closes his eyes again and imagines coins jumping into the register] 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... [the boots appear again Mr. Krabs opens his eyes again] What the barnacle is that? Uh? ;s1e17_48 {system}; [He sees that the bedroom window is opening and shutting by itself, making squeaky noises.] ;s1e17_49 Mr. Krabs ;Errgh!;s1e17_50 {system}; [Mr. Krabs closes the window and gets back into bed, but notices the window has opened again. He walks back across the room to close it but steps into a hole and falls out the window, breaking the tip of his leg off in the process. He makes utterances of falling. He comes back to run up the stairs, and he enters back to his bedroom. This time, Mr. Krabs watches his step to avoid another hole.] ;s1e17_51 Mr. Krabs ; Errgh... ooh? [sees the hole] Careful. [shuts the window, but it won't close.] ;s1e17_52 {system}; [He starts shutting it with increasing force and speed until the window finally stays closed, grunting every time he pushes the window.] ;s1e17_53 {system};" [The window reopens again, and Mr. Krabs gives it the ""evil eye"" followed by a growl. The window immediately closes back. Mr. Krabs then starts to go back to bed, and yawns as he walks back toward there, but he steps into the same hole he avoided earlier and gets stuck there.] ";s1e17_54 Mr. Krabs ; Huh? [loses balance and breaks the tip of his other leg off] ;s1e17_55 {system}; [Mr. Krabs screams as he gets flung into his hammock and gets all twisted up in it. Mr. Krabs can do nothing but lie there with bloodshot eyes as the window makes squeaky noises all night, as if it is clapping at him. Fade to the next morning Mr. Krabs has his legs bandaged up as he drowsily walks to the Krusty Krab] ;s1e17_56 Mr. Krabs ; Arrgh, that was the worst night I ever weathered. At least I'll have some peace and quiet at work. ;s1e17_57 {system}; [As he walks up to the door, Squidward slams the doors open into Mr. Krabs' face] ;s1e17_58 Squidward; That's it, Mr. Krabs I'm taking my vacation now. ;s1e17_59 Mr. Krabs ; [muffled] What's wrong, Mr. Squid-ard? ;s1e17_60 Squidward;" I can't take [sarcastically] ""The world's greatest fry cook"" anymore! I'll see you in a week. [leaves the Krusty Krab] ";s1e17_61 Mr. Krabs ; That fry cook's making me a fortune. What could be the problem? [as he speaks, the camera looks toward SpongeBob] ;s1e17_62 {system}; [SpongeBob is shown with his boots on and is carrying two large plates full of Krabby Patties in each hand.] ;s1e17_63 SpongeBob; Hey, Mr. Krabs! ;s1e17_64 Mr. Krabs ; SpongeBob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-Bob-ob. [Every time SpongeBob's boots squeak, Mr. Krabs stutters. SpongeBob walks up to Mr. Krabs, but he is so tall, all Mr. Krabs can see is his boots] ;s1e17_65 Mr. Krabs ; I... uhh, I see you're still wearing them boots. [points to the boots] ;s1e17_66 SpongeBob;" [raises his right leg] Are you kidding? I love them! [leans towards Mr. Krabs’ face] Could ""The world's greatest fry cook"" do this? [runs in place fast with plates of Krabby Patties in each hand, spins around, and then kneels down while the Krabby Patties carefully land perfectly onto the plates.] ";s1e17_67 Mr. Krabs ; Well, I don't... uhh... I don't... uhh... ;s1e17_68 SpongeBob;" [standing back up] Or could he do this? [leans over to to his right side and sets the plate on the table without having to move his feet from his spot at all] Or this? [leans to the table on his left side and puts a plate of patties on that table, then goes behind the register and stands on top of the boat] And watch this, Mr. Krabs! [moves his boots around slightly, making them ""talk""] ";s1e17_69 Incidental 4 ; Yeah, I'll have the Krusty Special. ;s1e17_70 SpongeBob;" Could ""The greatest fry cook"" do that, Mr. Krabs? ";s1e17_71 Mr. Krabs ; I, uhh... ;s1e17_72 SpongeBob; And look at this, Mr. Krabs. [holds his breath, making the boots inflate, causing him to float. Then he levitates across with his legs stretched far apart.] And this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this. [SpongeBob zooms all over the Krusty Krab and does many different things with his boots until Mr. Krabs can't take it anymore] ;s1e17_73 Mr. Krabs ; [his eyes go bloodshot] [screaming] I gotta go to my office! [puts seat cushions over his ears] I can still hear it! [puts chairs over his ears] It's still coming through! The infernal squeak! [he repeatedly bangs his head on his desk] Those boots have got to go! And I need an aspirin. ;s1e17_74 {system}; [that night, at SpongeBob's pineapple...] ;s1e17_75 SpongeBob; [walking to his bed with his boots still on] Gary, these boots have changed my life. I'm never taking them off. ;s1e17_76 Gary; [goes into his shell and comes out with earplugs in] Meow. ;s1e17_77 SpongeBob; Good night, Gary. ;s1e17_78 {system}; [SpongeBob wiggles his feet, making the boots squeak one more time before going to sleep. As SpongeBob is sleeping with his boots on, Mr. Krabs peeks over his diving board and climbs down. He sees the boots, which inflate and deflate with SpongeBob's snoring pattern. Mr. Krabs then takes the boots off his feet and runs to the Krusty Krab, laughing quietly as he runs back. Some hammering sounds are heard, then a rooster crows as night fades to morning. Mr. Krabs now sniffs his money.] ;s1e17_79 Mr. Krabs ; Ah, quiet money. [satisfyingly sniffing a handful of money] Silence and money. ;s1e17_80 {system}; [SpongeBob suddenly bursts through the double doors, tearfully] ;s1e17_81 SpongeBob; Mr. Krabs! ;s1e17_82 Mr. Krabs ; What is it, my boy? ;s1e17_83 SpongeBob; [crying, while looking at the ground] Oh, Mr. Krabs, I'm sorry! Sorry! Sorry! I'm sorry! ;s1e17_84 Mr. Krabs ; It's okay, son. ;s1e17_85 SpongeBob; [cries harder and looks up at his boss with tears streaming down his face] No, it's not okay! I lost the boots! Your valuable boots, it's my fault, I let you down! Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Ohh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. ;s1e17_86 Mr. Krabs ; Hold it, boy! It's not the end of the world. ;s1e17_87 SpongeBob; Yes, it is! ;s1e17_88 Mr. Krabs ; Look, don't cry. I got some, uhh, some magic oven mitts! [holds up some oven mitts] ;s1e17_89 SpongeBob; [puts them on his feet, waits a second, then kicks them off] They're not the same! You were right. I wasn't ready for those blessed boots. [walks into the door, opens it, then goes into the kitchen] ;s1e17_90 Mr. Krabs ; Poor lad. [looks through the window and sees that SpongeBob is so upset, he has his head down... right on top of the hot grill] ;s1e17_91 Incidental 6 ; [touches Mr. Krabs twice, feeling concerned if Mr. Krabs upset SpongeBob] Excuse me? ;s1e17_92 Mr. Krabs ; I didn't do it! [sees Incidental 6] Ohh, heh-heh, can I help ya? ;s1e17_93 Incidental 6 ; Yeah, I'm ready to order. ;s1e17_94 Mr. Krabs ; [takes out a notepad] What'll ya have? ;s1e17_95 Incidental 6 ; I'll take a [squeak squeak]. ;s1e17_96 Mr. Krabs ; [becomes surprised] What did you say? ;s1e17_97 Incidental 6 ; I said, I'll take a [squeak]. ;s1e17_98 Mr. Krabs ;Huh?;s1e17_99 SpongeBob; [still in tears] I heard his order, Mr. Krabs. He says he wants [squeak squeak]. ;s1e17_100 Mr. Krabs ;What?;s1e17_101 Incidental 6 ; And a [squeak squeak squeak squeak]. ;s1e17_102 Mr. Krabs ;Huh?!;s1e17_103 {system}; [Mr. Krabs starts going insane, imagining everything and everyone squeaking] ;s1e17_104 Mr. Krabs ; Huh? [more squeaking] What? [yet more squeaking] Huh? ;s1e17_105 {system};" [He sees ""squeak"" as an item for everything. He looks at a clock with labels ""squeak"" and ""squeak"" and continuously ticks.] ";s1e17_106 Mr. Krabs ; [scared] What the-!? ;s1e17_107 {system};" [Mr. Krabs keeps thinking and hearing the squeaks, this time seeing an distorted menu with items that only read ""squeak"" multiple times. His eyes now start becoming red, visibly showing red vessels.] ";s1e17_108 Mr. Krabs ; I didn't write that! [utters a scared sound, continues seeing the distorted menu] ;s1e17_109 {system}; [Mr. Krabs recalls the squeaking from Incidental 6] ;s1e17_110 Mr. Krabs ; Who said that? Huh?! ;s1e17_111 {system}; [Mr. Krabs continues to see distorted memories that keep squeaking. The entire screen gets bleached out, as if to depict extreme insanity. He gets paranoia from a dripping kitchen sink.] ;s1e17_112 Mr. Krabs ; [scared] What?! ;s1e17_113 {system}; [He even imagines the dripping kitchen sink makes squeaking sounds instead of dripping sounds.] ;s1e17_114 {system}; [Mr. Krabs continues to see distorted memories that keep squeaking. Eventually he starts seeing visions of SpongeBob and his boots.] ;s1e17_115 SpongeBob;" [in Mr. Krabs' head] Could ""The world's greatest fry cook"" do this?... And this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this... ";s1e17_116 {system}; [Mr. Krabs' eye starts swirling as he imagines him speaking, engulfing his own sight with a blur of items orbiting inside his view.] ;s1e17_117 Mr. Krabs ; [snaps] Stop it! [two customers get startled by Mr. Krabs' scream] Stop it! [his eyes start contorting] Oh, oh, don't you hear it?! ;s1e17_118 {system}; [A few other customers in the corner had also witnessed the scene. They look at Mr. Krabs like he's crazy, while one of them blinks. Mr. Krabs appears mentally insane.] ;s1e17_119 Mr. Krabs ; Yes, I did it! I did it! I took the boots! They're here! Under the floorboard! [sobbing] Oh, please! Make it stop! It's the squeaking of the hideous boots! [throws himself onto the floor and bawls] I'm sorry! [lifts up the entire Krusty Krab and grabs the boots, with everyone screaming inside.] But I can't take the infernal squeakin' no more! [sees the ghastly boots, clenches his eyes that his pupils form an X, and lets go of the entire Krusty Krab. ;s1e17_120 {system}; [Mr. Krabs runs into the kitchen with an evil expression on his face and puts the boots into a vat of grease, which shrinks them, and he eats them. After that, he opens the door to the dining room, and finally lets out a long burp.] ;s1e17_121 Mr. Krabs ; [burps] The deed is done. ;s1e17_122 SpongeBob; [confused] Umm, why did you eat my boots, Mr. Krabs? ;s1e17_123 Mr. Krabs ; Because, lad, you didn't need 'em. It's not the boots, it's the boot-ee. I mean, uh, the person... in the boots. You're a great fry cook. ;s1e17_124 SpongeBob; You really think so, Mr. Krabs? ;s1e17_125 Mr. Krabs ; I do, son. [hands SpongeBob a stack of money] Here's the paycheck I owe you. [puts another stack of money on top of the first stack] Plus a bonus! [takes the second stack of money] Well, here's your paycheck anyway. [walks away] I need a vacation. ;s1e17_126 SpongeBob; Bye, Mr. Krabs! ;s1e17_127 {system}; [Fade to Mr. Krabs and Pearl taking a drive out to somewhere, with a campervan behind their boat] ;s1e17_128 Pearl; [lifts her feet over the side of the door to reveal her new shoes] Don't forget my new flipper slippers, Daddy! ;s1e17_129 Mr. Krabs ; Darling, I won't. [as he laughs, he hiccups and the squeaky noise comes out] Oh, no. [continues to hiccup and squeak as they drive off into the distance and the episode ends] ;s1e17_130 {system}; [SpongeBob is grilling Krabby Patties in the Krusty Krab kitchen until one of them suddenly levitates up from the grill and turns into a jellyfish. It floats out the window as the rest of the patties turn into jellyfish and do the same. SpongeBob follows them and flies out the window and turns into a jellyfish. He buzzes around Jellyfish Fields when he hears Mr. Krabs voice.] ;s1e18_1 Mr. Krabs ; SpongeBob? SpongeBob! ;s1e18_2 {system}; [Shows reality of SpongeBob at the kitchen. The grill is on fire, smoke clearly coming out of it] ;s1e18_3 Mr. Krabs ; Wake up, boy! You're burning me money! ;s1e18_4 {system}; [SpongeBob wakes up from his dream and screams. Then runs behind Mr. Krabs] ;s1e18_5 SpongeBob; Mr. Krabs, what do we do? ;s1e18_6 Mr. Krabs ; Here, use this! ;s1e18_7 {system}; [Mr. Krabs hands SpongeBob a fire extinguisher. SpongeBob throws it at the grill and sets the fire larger than before. Mr. Krabs angrily looks at SpongeBob for his stupidity, as he realizes his error.] ;s1e18_8 {system}; [SpongeBob was very hot inside in summer-like heat, then tries to blow on the fire to put it out until a fireman comes into the kitchen with a hose] ;s1e18_9 Fireman; [imitating the sound of a fire truck] ;s1e18_10 {system}; [Fireman sprays SpongeBob with the water. SpongeBob enlarges and falls backwards, which puts out the fire] ;s1e18_11 Mr. Krabs ; SpongeBob, come into me office. ;s1e18_12 {system}; [Cut to Mr. Krabs office] ;s1e18_13 Mr. Krabs ; What's wrong, boy? ;s1e18_14 SpongeBob; Well, I... ;s1e18_15 Mr. Krabs ; This is the fourth time this week I've had to scrape you off of something. ;s1e18_16 SpongeBob; Well, I've been thinking. ;s1e18_17 Mr. Krabs ; We need to get you thinking about work. [stretches his eyes out] ;s1e18_18 SpongeBob; No offense, Mr. Krabs, but I've been thinking about giving up my cold industrial life in favor of a more natural and free life among the jellyfish. ;s1e18_19 {system}; [Mr. Krabs's eyes suck back in, and his eyes now stick back up as normal] ;s1e18_20 Mr. Krabs ; [laughs a very long time] Ah, SpongeBob, you wouldn't last even one day in the wild. This is your natural habitat. [shows the kitchen] This is your wide open range. [shows the grill] These are your amber waves. [shows the greasy fryers] And this [picks up a spatula from the sink] oh, this is your golden scepter, with which you rule! That's better than nasty old jellyfish, right, SpongeBob? [SpongeBob is gone. Mr. Krabs looks around his head.] SpongeBob? ;s1e18_21 SpongeBob; [walks out the Krusty Krab] I can too last more than one day. I'll show him. Aw, barnacles! [throws his hat on the ground] ;s1e18_22 Mr. Krabs ; [opens the doors] SpongeBob, wait! [sees SpongeBob's hat on the ground and screams, revealing the hat has been dropped] Oh, he'll be back, alright. He'll be back. ;s1e18_23 {system}; [Fades to SpongeBob's neighborhood. SpongeBob is now giving his stuff away to his friends. Shown on-screen is SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward.] ;s1e18_24 SpongeBob; And, Squidward, I want you to have my can opener. [gives it to him] ;s1e18_25 Squidward; And I thought this friendship would never pay off. [walks away] ;s1e18_26 Patrick; [teary-eyed] Are-are-are-are you sure you want to give me this mayonnaise? [shows him the jar of mayonnaise] ;s1e18_27 SpongeBob; It's all yours. ;s1e18_28 {system}; [Patrick holds up a bunch of phone books] ;s1e18_29 Patrick; A-a-and these old phone books? ;s1e18_30 SpongeBob;" All yours, old friend. [walks off and comes back with a case] Patrick, there is one more thing I want you to have. [Opens up a rectangular box that has the words ""Ol' Reliable"" on the front. A glowing jellyfish net is inside. Patrick gasps and pants with excitement as he throws the phone books away and picks up Ol' Reliable] ";s1e18_31 Patrick; Oh! O-o-ol' Reliable? [cries as Sandy walks up] ;s1e18_32 Sandy; Howdy, y'all. Hey, SpongeBob, you having a garage sale? ;s1e18_33 SpongeBob; No, Sandy, I'm giving up my material possessions to live in the wild with the jellyfish. ;s1e18_34 Sandy; SpongeBob, of all the crazy schemes. Why would you want to live among the jellyfish? They're cold and mean and none too bright. ;s1e18_35 {system}; [SpongeBob pats Sandy's helmet] ;s1e18_36 SpongeBob; Oh, oh, Sandy. That's exactly the response I would expect from someone who lives the sham of a life I once lived. I'm gonna prove I don't need all this stuff to be happy. [walks away] Maybe someday you'll wise up and join me. Goodbye. [walks behind a bush and takes his pants off] I won't be needing these. [drops his pants and runs away] Buzz, buzz, buzz. [His friends see SpongeBob's actions: Patrick clearly upset, shaking himself, Squidward feeling indifferent, and Sandy feeling concerned.] ;s1e18_37 Squidward; He took off his pants. ;s1e18_38 Sandy; I'll give him a week. [walks away] ;s1e18_39 Squidward; I'll give him eleven minutes. [walks away, throwing off the can opener at Patrick.] ;s1e18_40 Patrick; Patrick sad! ;s1e18_41 {system}; [At Jellyfish Fields. SpongeBob touches the Jellyfish Fields sign.] ;s1e18_42 Sandy; Here, Patrick, have a Krabby Patty! [whispers into Patrick's ear] There he is, Patrick. Say your line. ;s1e18_43 Patrick;" [reading off his script] ""Why, thank you, Sandy, I would love one. (take patty)."" [takes the patty] ""Too bad SpongeBob isn't here. These are his favorites. I sure wish he'd come home. (take bite)."" [sniffles. tries to take a bite, but throws the patty and the script away and turns to SpongeBob] I can't do it! SpongeBob! Come back! ";s1e18_44 SpongeBob; Patrick, I'm not coming home. ;s1e18_45 Patrick; I miss you! [cuts to Sandy waving hello, but in guilty manner because of set-up] Sandy misses you! Even Squidward misses you! ;s1e18_46 Squidward; [while throwing himself a party at his home] Whoopee! Ha ha! Yeah! Ha ha! Ha! Heh! Ha-ha-cha! ;s1e18_47 SpongeBob; I'm happy here. This is my home now. [Sandy drags Patrick away] ;s1e18_48 Patrick; No! SpongeBob! [later, SpongeBob comes in wiggling his arms and legs like the jellyfish] ;s1e18_49 SpongeBob; Hey, everybody! I'm back! I think I'm getting the hang of this. ;s1e18_50 {system}; [Jellyfish float away as the net is swung at SpongeBob, which knocks him down. Patrick, breathing heavily in anger, is ready to capture SpongeBob with Ol' Reliable] ;s1e18_51 SpongeBob; Patrick! What are you doing? ;s1e18_52 Patrick;" [eyes tearing] If I can't have you as a friend, I'm gonna make you a trophy! [Violently swings his jellyfish net once, as if to catch a jellyfish. He then shows a jar with a label on the front that reads ""SpongeBob - Friend""] I even picked out this nice jar for you! [shows SpongeBob the jar] ";s1e18_53 SpongeBob; Patrick! Go home! I'm a jellyfish now! ;s1e18_54 {system}; [Patrick swings the net at SpongeBob but SpongeBob runs away.] ;s1e18_55 Patrick; [war cry] ;s1e18_56 {system}; [After hearing Patrick's war cry, SpongeBob runs away and hides behind a rock but the rock is actually a giant snail's shell.] ;s1e18_57 {system}; Meow. [slithers away] ;s1e18_58 {system}; [SpongeBob flees from the roaring Patrick. Patrick continues making a war cry and then begins chases SpongeBob. SpongeBob then hides behind a rock] ;s1e18_59 Patrick; I can see you there! [SpongeBob hides behind a bush] I still see you! [SpongeBob hides behind another rock] You're gonna look good on my mantel! [SpongeBob continues fleeing from Patrick] Friends forever, SpongeBob! ;s1e18_60 {system}; [SpongeBob runs underneath an arch rock and gasps for oxygen. He spots Patrick underneath the rock on the top] ;s1e18_61 Patrick; I got you now, SpongeBob! [falls on the ground and misses SpongeBob] ;s1e18_62 SpongeBob; Patrick! No! ;s1e18_63 {system}; [Patrick runs after SpongeBob again as SpongeBob jumps into the jellyfish hive. Patrick tries to get the hive down with the net, but he can't reach it. He vainly tries to jump to reach the hive, to no avail.] ;s1e18_64 Patrick; Okay! So this is the way it's gonna be. I hope you're happy! [snaps the net in half over his knee and walks away, sobbing] ;s1e18_65 SpongeBob; Well, that's over. Back to jellyfish matters. [a drop of jelly lands on SpongeBob nose. He samples it] Mmm, jelly. [eats a lot of jelly as the jellyfish come back toward the hive] Ah, my jellyfish brethren are returning. [jellyfish buzz into the hive] Greetings, comrades! ;s1e18_66 {system}; [The jellyfish repeatedly sting SpongeBob and he screams. SpongeBob climbs out of the hive and runs as the jellyfish keep stinging him.] ;s1e18_67 SpongeBob; [feeling burnt out emotionally] Being a jellyfish sure is fun. Buzz. [rips off a bushel of grass] Buzz. [pushes a rock over as he uses it for his pillow] Buzz. [pushes the rock aside and gets cold. The blanket scrunches up, but SpongeBob pushes it back down. The blanket scrunches up again and SpongeBob gets cold] Hey! Eww, I'm itchy! Itchy, why am I so itchy! [takes off the blanket and reveals nine poison sea urchins] Ah! Poison sea urchins! ;s1e18_68 SpongeBob; Ow, ow, oh, itches. Ow, ow, itches. [Continues speaking in pain, and crawls on the ground to stop the itching.] ;s1e18_69 {system}; [Later, SpongeBob is walking home, back to Bikini Bottom, at night] ;s1e18_70 SpongeBob;" Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. [says ""Buzz"" fourteen more times as he walks up to the Krusty Krab door and sees a plate full of Krabby Patties on a table] Krabby Patties. [walks past Sandy's treedome, then he sniffles] Sandy. [still saying ""Buzz,"" walks up to his pineapple] What have I done? I had a great life and friends, and I gave all of that up. ";s1e18_71 {system}; [SpongeBob opens the door and turns the light on. Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Squidward, Patrick, and Gary are there to welcome him home] ;s1e18_72 SpongeBob; You guys are the best! I made a huge mistake. Please forgive me! ;s1e18_73 Mr. Krabs ; Ah, quit your blubbering and have a Krabby Patty. [hands him a Krabby Patty] ;s1e18_74 SpongeBob; Don't mind if I do. [eats it as Mr. Krabs places his Krusty Crew hat on his head] ;s1e18_75 Mr. Krabs ; And I'll see you at work first thing tomorrow morning. ;s1e18_76 SpongeBob; [salutes] Aye, aye, captain! ;s1e18_77 Squidward; SpongeBob, do us all a favor. [hands SpongeBob his pants] ;s1e18_78 SpongeBob; Don't mind if I do! [puts on his pants] Ta-dah. [hugs Squidward] Aww. ;s1e18_79 Squidward; Okay, that's enough. [everyone else hugs SpongeBob and Squidward] ;s1e18_80 Gary;Meow.;s1e18_81 Squidward; Could we please stop this? [everyone stops hugging] ;s1e18_82 Patrick; Patrick itchy! [everyone but SpongeBob starts to scratch themselves and crawl on the floor] ;s1e18_83 SpongeBob; It is great to be home! ;s1e18_84 {system};" [The episode begins with Squidward's house at sunrise. A clam crows like a rooster. Pan-fades to inside Squidward's house, where Squidward is asleep and hears noises. He awakens, revealing SpongeBob and Patrick under his blanket with a banner of letters that reads ""happy birthday."" Patrick blows a noisemaker.] ";s1e19_1 {system}; Surprise! Happy birthday, Squidward! [all three standing in front of a cake] Happy happy birthday! Happy birthday cake! [standing in front of a picture of a seahorse and Squidward has the tail] Happy happy birthday! Pin the tail on the seahorse! [surrounded by presents] Happy happy birthday! Happy birthday, Squidward! [run out of Squidward's house with confetti] ;s1e19_2 SpongeBob; Yeah! So long, Squidward, bye-bye, don't do anything I wouldn't do. ;s1e19_3 Patrick; Another year older. [laughs] ;s1e19_4 Squidward; [frustrated] It's not my birthday! [shuts the door and takes off his party hat] That's it! I'm moving out of this neighborhood! ;s1e19_5 {system}; [Bubble transitions to Incidental 49A looking at a picture of Squidward's house.] ;s1e19_6 Incidental 49 ; Absolutely, Mr. Tentacles! [showing the realtor lady as Incidental 49A from Bikini Realty on phone] I can sell your home in a heartbeat. ;s1e19_7 Squidward; Oh, that's great news, because I want to move as soon as possible. ;s1e19_8 Squidward;" Oh sure, there's none of that... [worried] Did you say ""neighbors?"" ";s1e19_9 Incidental 49 ; Of course! I can't tell you how many times I've seen a sale fall through because of bad neighbors. ;s1e19_10 Squidward; Neighbors. Uhh... ;s1e19_11 Squidward; SpongeBob! No one will ever buy my house with him living next door! Whatever a good neighbor would do, he does the opposite! [gets an idea] Opposite... opposite... ;s1e19_12 {system}; [Night turns to day then rooster crows everyone up. SpongeBob is sleeping, but is awakened by a loud nose. Then it was revealed that the noise is coming from Squidward marching outside SpongeBob's house playing a bass drum, a pair of cymbals, a set of bagpipes, and a whistle.] ;s1e19_13 SpongeBob; Umm, Squidward, why are you playing that drum? [Squidward stops playing] ;s1e19_14 Squidward; Drum? What drum? [puts the drum on the ground, punches a hole in it, and pulls out a wig] This is just my wig case! See? [puts on the wig, kicks the drum out of the way and frolics around] Come on, SpongeBob, tackle me! ;s1e19_15 SpongeBob; Squidward! You need bed rest! [pushes Squidward to his house as Squidward is blowing bubbles] I'll keep you safe until you're well again. ;s1e19_16 Squidward; Oh, I get it. You don't know what day it is, do you? ;s1e19_17 SpongeBob; Uhh, Wednesday? ;s1e19_18 Squidward; Why, it's Opposite Day! [SpongeBob is confused] You mean you've never heard of it? Boy, have you been missing out! Opposite Day is the one day of the year when you get to act different! Normally I'm stuffy, boring, [frolics around a little more] but today I'm silly and spontaneous! [giggles] ;s1e19_19 SpongeBob; Does everybody know about Opposite Day? ;s1e19_20 Squidward; Oh sure! It's a game! Get it? ;s1e19_21 SpongeBob; Oh, a game. ;s1e19_22 Squidward; Yeah! Normally, you're really loud and annoying, so what are you going to be today? ;s1e19_23 SpongeBob; Quiet and out of the way! Yaaaaaay! ;s1e19_24 Squidward; Yeah! Why don't you get a jump on it. ;s1e19_25 SpongeBob; I love... I mean, I hate Opposite Day. [giggles as he runs back into his pineapple] I'm not ready! ;s1e19_26 Squidward; So long, chum. [takes off his wig] And goodbye, Bikini Bottom. ;s1e19_27 {system}; [Bubble transitions back to SpongeBob's bedroom] ;s1e19_28 SpongeBob; [running to Gary] Gary! It's Opposite Day and I... [stops running] ...walk, don't run. And I'm gonna... opposite... opposite... I'm just gonna crawl into bed and do nothing all day. [crawls into bed] Too bad it only comes once a year, huh, Gary? ;s1e19_29 Gary;Meow.;s1e19_30 SpongeBob; Gary! Where’s your holiday spirit? ;s1e19_31 Gary; [barks like a dog] ;s1e19_32 SpongeBob; [doorbell rings] Company! I hate company. [rushes to the door] Who's there? ;s1e19_33 Patrick; It's Patrick! ;s1e19_34 SpongeBob; Patrick... go away! I never want to see you again! [giggles, but Patrick starts to cry] ;s1e19_35 Patrick; [sobbing] SpongeBob doesn't like me anymore! ;s1e19_36 SpongeBob; [opens the door] That's right! You're my worst enemy! ;s1e19_37 {system}; [Patrick falls to the ground, bawling] ;s1e19_38 SpongeBob; Patrick, you're not really not my friend. It's just Opposite Day! ;s1e19_39 Patrick; Opposite Day? Hey, I've heard of that! ;s1e19_40 SpongeBob; You have? ;s1e19_41 Patrick; No! What is it? ;s1e19_42 Patrick; Oh! Let me try! Let me try! [holds his breath and turns purple] ;s1e19_43 SpongeBob; Patrick! Patrick, breathe! ;s1e19_44 {system}; [Patrick takes a deep breath in and pants] ;s1e19_45 SpongeBob; Not that opposite. Let me show you how to do it the wrong way! ;s1e19_46 {system}; [Bubble transitions to SpongeBob and Patrick dance across the screen as both have their skin color palettes swapped. Gary eats properly from a table.] ;s1e19_47 SpongeBob; [eats from Gary's bowl] Meow. ;s1e19_48 Patrick; [sitting on newspapers] Meow. ;s1e19_49 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick both blow a bubble, but they blow themselves into bubbles, instead. Patrick pops] ;s1e19_50 SpongeBob; .kcirtaP ,yeH [forwards: Hey, Patrick.] ;s1e19_51 Patrick; .pu evig I [forwards: I give up.] ;s1e19_52 SpongeBob; !edis etisoppo eht ot teg oT [forwards: To get to the opposite side.] ;s1e19_53 {system}; [Both laugh in reverse. Bubble transitions back to SpongeBob's front door of his house] ;s1e19_54 SpongeBob; Say, want to help me do some work around the house, worst enemy? ;s1e19_55 Patrick; Nope. [smiles, both laugh] ;s1e19_56 Squidward; Nearly noon and not a peep from SpongeBob! [packing his belongings into boxes] I'm almost sorry I'm leaving! [laughs] Opposite Day. [hears noises from outside] SpongeBob, what are you... [screams as he sees both SpongeBob and Patrick destroying SpongeBob's pineapple into a skeleton] ;s1e19_57 SpongeBob; Hello, Squidward! Oops. I mean, goodbye, Squidward! Aww, isn't Opposite Day... [giggles] ...terrible? [laughs] ;s1e19_58 Squidward; [seriously angry] I'll tell you what's terrible... living next to you! You're the worst neighbor in history! ;s1e19_59 SpongeBob; Wow! That's the nicest thing Squidward has ever said to me! ;s1e19_60 {system}; [Squidward facepalms] ;s1e19_61 Squidward; [panicked] If the real estate agent sees that mess, I'll never sell this house! ;s1e19_62 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick look at the destroyed pineapple] ;s1e19_63 Patrick; Isn't it beautiful? ;s1e19_64 SpongeBob; On Opposite Day it is. ;s1e19_65 {system}; [Squidward drives up with a bulldozer] ;s1e19_66 Squidward; Out of the way, SpongeBob! [pushes the items on the ground with the bulldozer and begins to rebuild the pineapple house skull] ;s1e19_67 Patrick; Hey! I wanna be opposite, too! ;s1e19_68 Patrick; Yeah! Finally! Yoo-hoo! [dances] I'm Squidward, I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward. ;s1e19_69 SpongeBob; Wait! It's not enough to look like Squidward to be opposite... [talking like Squidward] ...you have to act like him, too. Boy, oh boy, do I like playing the clarinet. I practice and practice all day long, but I never get any better. [normal voice again] Now you try. ;s1e19_70 Patrick; Okay. [takes a deep breath and continues dancing] I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward, Squidward. [SpongeBob dances along with Patrick] ;s1e19_71 {system}; I'm Squidward. I'm Squidward. I'm Squidward, Squidward, Squidward. [they both dance toward Squidward's house] ;s1e19_72 Patrick; Why, thank you, Mr. Squidward. [walks in] ;s1e19_73 SpongeBob; You're quite welcome, Mr. Squidward. [walks in and shuts the door] ;s1e19_74 Squidward;" [still rebuilding SpongeBob's pineapple] Oh, Opposite Day. Next time, it's going to be ""Go Jump Off A Cliff Day!"" [Hammers vigorously. As he is building, Incidental 49A drives up] ";s1e19_75 Incidental 49 ; Oh my! The house is even more beautiful in person! [walks up to the front door, knocks on the door. SpongeBob opens it] Hello, Mr... [looks down] Uh... Mr. Tentacles? ;s1e19_76 SpongeBob; [talking like Squidward] Yes, please come in. ;s1e19_77 Incidental 49 ; It's funny, I pictured you being much taller. ;s1e19_78 SpongeBob; [talking like Squidward] Yeah, everyone says that. ;s1e19_79 Incidental 49 ; Now if you want the sale to go through, you've got to tell me all the positive things about your house. ;s1e19_80 SpongeBob; [normal voice, to himself] Positive things! Opposite Day... [talking like Squidward] I'd love to. The floor creaks, the roof leaks, there's a terrible draft. ;s1e19_81 Incidental 49 ; Uhh... well, you didn't mention that on the phone. ;s1e19_82 SpongeBob; [talking like Squidward] Please, let me finish. The winters are harsh, the summers are brutal. There's a wild man-eating clam in the backyard! [Incidental 49A looks at him, shocked] Now, would you care to see the rest of my home? ;s1e19_83 Incidental 49 ; Well, umm, I'm not sure if I'm interested... ;s1e19_84 SpongeBob; [talking like Squidward] Nonsense! I won't take no for an answer. [laughs like Squidward, then stops] Please follow me. [both walk into Squidward's art room] And here's the worst room in the house. My gallery. ;s1e19_85 Incidental 49 ; [looks at a painting of Squidward] Oh my, this painting is very nice. [Patrick bursts through the painting] ;s1e19_86 Patrick; Thank you! [immediately, Incidental 49A screams and leaps up to the ceiling, hanging onto a beam] ;s1e19_87 Incidental 49 ; Who's that?! ;s1e19_88 SpongeBob; [talking like Squidward] I'd like to introduce you to Mr. Squidward. ;s1e19_89 Incidental 49 ; You're both Squidward? ;s1e19_90 SpongeBob; [talking like Squidward] I'm Squidward, he's Squidward. ;s1e19_91 {system}; We're both Squidward. ;s1e19_92 Squidward; Well, that's done. At least SpongeBob has been quiet. [sees Incidental 49A's boat and screams] Ahhh, no! ;s1e19_93 {system}; [SpongeBob plays Squidward's clarinet badly for Incidental 49A] ;s1e19_94 Incidental 49 ; Okay, I really don't want to hear another one. ;s1e19_95 SpongeBob; [talking like Squidward] Okay. [plays more] ;s1e19_96 Incidental 49 ; I really don't want to hear more, thank you. ;s1e19_97 SpongeBob; [talking like Squidward] I hear you loud and clear. [plays more] ;s1e19_98 Squidward; [bursts in] Stop! Get away from her! Oh, oh, I am so sorry, ma'am, I hope these two [turns to them] barnacle heads [turns back to Incidental 49A] haven't harmed you in any way. ;s1e19_99 Incidental 49 ; Who are you? ;s1e19_100 Squidward; Why, I'm Squidward! ;s1e19_101 {system}; [SpongeBob and Patrick pop up in the background. Incidental 49A's face slowly turns annoyed] ;s1e19_102 Incidental 49 ; [angrily] What kind of fool do you take me for? [to Patrick] He's Squidward, [to SpongeBob] he's Squidward, you're Squidward... I'm Squidward! Are there any other Squidwards I should know about?! ;s1e19_103 Gary; [with a pickle on his face imitating Squidward's voice] Meow. ;s1e19_104 Incidental 49 ; [shocked then angry] I'm outta here. [walks away] ;s1e19_105 Squidward; Ma'am, please! What about my house?! ;s1e19_106 Incidental 49 ; I wouldn't sell a house for you if you were the last Squidward on Earth! [walks out of the house] ;s1e19_107 Squidward;Wait!;s1e19_108 SpongeBob; [talking like Squidward] Don't... ;s1e19_109 Patrick;...Go!;s1e19_110 Squidward; [screams, runs out, and holds onto her leg and at the edge of her skirt, dragging him, as she is leaving] No! No! No! No! No! ;s1e19_111 Incidental 49 ; Stop! Stop! [she grabs her skirt] ;s1e19_112 Squidward; Please, sell my house! ;s1e19_113 Incidental 49 ; [frees her skirt from his grasp] Never! [gets in her boat] ;s1e19_114 Squidward; Don't leave me here! [falls to the ground, sobbing. Incidental 49A drives off] ;s1e19_115 {system}; [happily walk up to Squidward] Happy Opposite Day, Squidward! We hate you! ;s1e19_116 {system}; [Squidward seethes with fury, then gets an idea. He now suddenly smiles.] ;s1e19_117 Squidward; Let me show you guys how much I... hate you! [runs off to get a bulldozer] ;s1e19_118 {system}; [Squidward drives up with the bulldozer chasing SpongeBob and Patrick, they both scream and run away] ;s1e19_119 SpongeBob; [normal voice] Patrick, do you ever get the feeling that Squidward likes us too much?! ;s1e19_120 Squidward; [angry, still chasing them] Happy Opposite Day! [chases them down the street and laughs evilly as they keep running away, ending the episode] ;s1e19_121 {system}; [No customers are at the Krusty Krab as Mr. Krabs is holding a 'FREE' sign for the salad bar, Squidward is reading a ballet magazine and imagining his head on the dancers, and SpongeBob is wiping dust off tables.] ;s1e20_1 {system}; [Closer shot of Mr. Krabs holding a 'FREE' sign for the salad bar, attempting to retain his smile. Piece of paper flies through the open door of the Krusty Krab.] ;s1e20_2 Mr. Krabs ; Hmm... I just don't get it. If a free salad bar doesn't bring in customers, what will?! [Squidward is dancing] Squidward! ;s1e20_3 Squidward; Uh-uh... Yes, sir? ;s1e20_4 Mr. Krabs ; There's gonna be some changes around here. [Incidental 4 walks in. Mr. Krabs gasps] A customer! Welcome to the Krusty Krab! [runs up to Incidental 4 with a chair and seats him. Brings him back to the table] SpongeBob, cater to his every whim. And don't screw this one up. ;s1e20_5 SpongeBob; Aye aye sir! Welcome aboard, sir! Here at the Krusty Krab, you are the captain, and I am your cabin boy. You just say the word and I will throw myself in the brig! May I take your order? ;s1e20_6 Incidental 4 ; All I wanted was change for the payphone. [shows the dollar] ;s1e20_7 Mr. Krabs ; Yah! [jumps on it. Later, Mr. Krabs puts the penny away in his safe in his office and is with Squidward and SpongeBob] Now as you may have noticed, profits are way down this month. [pulls down a chart with zig-zag lines going down and his eyes sticking out on each side] We've got to think of a gimmick to bring in customers. [pulls the chart up] Do you lubbers have any ideas? ;s1e20_8 SpongeBob; I've got one! [takes out a tray with a soda and a pair of socks on it] A free pair of socks with every purchase! Or maybe 'Double Patty Midnight Madness'! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! I know! I know! I know! How about 'mouth full of clams' day! Everyone who shows up with a mouthful of clams... [talks with mouth full of clams] ...gets a free drink! Huh? Huh? ;s1e20_9 Mr. Krabs ; Well, uhh, I was thinkin’ more along the lines of live entertainment. [Squidward gasps] ;s1e20_10 Mr. Krabs ; The money? [Squidward is lying on the table] ;s1e20_11 Squidward; And I can see it now... your daughter Pearl, her name up in lights. ;s1e20_12 Mr. Krabs ; [Mr. Krabs looks at his picture of him and Pearl] Little Pearly... a star? ;s1e20_13 SpongeBob; Hoppin' clams! A talent show! I'm talented! I'd better call my folks! [runs off as Squidward and Mr. Krabs shake hands] ;s1e20_14 Mr. Krabs ; Squidward, you've got a deal. Make my little girl a star! [later, the restaurant is being redecorated for the show. Squidward is writing notes on a notepad.] ;s1e20_15 SpongeBob; Hey Squidward, what time am I goin’ on? ;s1e20_16 Squidward; Going on what? ;s1e20_17 SpongeBob; The show! When am I goin’ on the show? I have a great act! ;s1e20_18 Squidward; What talent could you possibly possess? [SpongeBob blows a big bubble which turns into a hippo. Then blows two small bubbles for the hat and cane. Both dance] ;s1e20_19 SpongeBob; Ta-da! [Squidward yawns] ;s1e20_20 Squidward; No one, not even your parents, would want to see that. [hippo bubble pops] What the people want is culture, not dancing bubbles. ;s1e20_21 SpongeBob; Ok, I get it. Don't worry, Squidward, I'm going to come up with the most cultured act ever! ;s1e20_22 Squidward; I can hardly wait. [SpongeBob runs off] Phew. The only culture that guy has is in his tennis shoes. [laughs] Tennis shoes. I crack myself up. [bubble transition to the night of the talent show where people are outside conducting interviews and people inside are talking and getting set-up] ;s1e20_23 Incidental 95 ; [Talking in the background] We are now at the Krusty Krab Talent Show featuring the finest talent in the town... ;s1e20_24 SpongeBob; [peeks out from behind the curtain] Wow! A full house! [gasps] There's Mom and Dad! They are gonna be so proud! [Mr. Krabs shakes Harold SquarePants' hand] ;s1e20_25 Mr. Krabs ; Hello, I'm Mr. Krabs, and I like money. ;s1e20_26 SpongeBob; I gotta get ready! [Squidward gets everyone's attention] ;s1e20_27 Squidward; Alright, people, listen up. Gather around everyone, chop, chop. [performers gather around] Now, you may be thinking this is your one shot at the big time. Well, it's not. It's mine. ;s1e20_28 SpongeBob; Hey, Squid! How about this for the show? [runs off and runs back with a tub full of water and the words 'Mister Absorbency' written on the front] The Amazing Mister Absorbency! [puts his finger in the water and absorbs it. Absorbs the water into his legs] Ta-da! [absorbs water into his head] Ta-da! ;s1e20_29 Squidward; No one is gonna wanna see you engorge yourself. ;s1e20_30 SpongeBob; [grabs Squidward's legs] Please, Squidward, let me be in the show! I'll do anything! Anything! Anything! ;s1e20_31 Squidward; So you really wanna be in the show? ;s1e20_32 SpongeBob; Oh, yes! ;s1e20_33 Squidward; Okay, you get to mop up afterwards. [hands SpongeBob a mop] Now will you stop bugging me? [walks off] ;s1e20_34 SpongeBob; So, this is what it feels like... the big time! With this mop, I shape my destiny! [show starts and crowd applauds. Squidward comes out and gets the cue cards that are in his tuxedo] ;s1e20_35 Squidward; Good evening and welcome to the 1st annual Squidward Tentacles Talent Show. Sponsored by the Krusty Krab, home of the Krabby Patty, because no one else would give it a home. [Patrick laughs] Thank you. Our next act is living proof that nepotism is alive and well. [Patrick laughs again] Put your fins together for... [Patrick cracks up laughing very hard. Bashes on the table with laughter, shaking dinnerware. He falls off his chair] Put your... [Patrick laughs] Put... [Patrick laughs] Pearl. [crowd claps as curtain rises for Pearl, dressed in cheerleader uniform] ;s1e20_36 Mr. Krabs ; Hooray! My little girl is finally a star. ;s1e20_37 Pearl; Give me a K-R-U! [jumps up and down on the stage causing the crowd to fly up and down with her] Give me a S-T-Y! [jumps up and down again] Krusty Krab! [jumps up and down] Krusty Krab! [jumps up and down] Krusty Krab! [jumps up and down] ;s1e20_38 Mr. Krabs ; [He, Patrick, and SpongeBob's parents get tossed up and down. Mr. Krabs appears happy.] Now that's what I call talent! [Krusty Krab floor is destroyed] ;s1e20_39 Pearl; Thank you! ;s1e20_40 Fred; My leg! Ugh! ;s1e20_41 Squidward; [screams in shock] ;s1e20_42 SpongeBob; Hey Squidward, listen. What do you think? When I mop, should I go forward and back? No, no wait, side to side. [Squidward lets the rope go and sends SpongeBob flying up. Then he walks back out on the stage] ;s1e20_43 Squidward; And now, poetry. [walks backstage but peeks his head through the curtain] By Gary. [curtain opens. Gary is on a stool] ;s1e20_44 Gary; [clears throat] Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow. ;s1e20_45 Sandy; [with awe] Oh, he has such a way with words. ;s1e20_46 Squidward; [checks his watch] Come on, come on, Ginsburg, if he doesn't hurry it up, we're not gonna have time for the best act... me! [SpongeBob walks up] ;s1e20_47 SpongeBob; Squidward, should I use Mr. Cleanser or Dr. Clean? ;s1e20_48 Squidward; Yes. [audience applauds as curtain opens, revealing Plankton in a magician costume and a sign that says 'The Amazing Plankton!'] ;s1e20_49 Plankton; I, the amazing Plankton, with the use of prestidigitation... [turns his wand into flowers] ...will make a Krabby Patty disappear before your very eyes. [throws the flowers aside] First, I'll need a volunteer from the audience. [jumps onto a table and grabs the Krabby Patty from the Touppe fish. Runs toward the door, but Krabs stops Plankton] ;s1e20_50 Mr. Krabs ; Nice try. Your act's over, bub. [grabs the patty] ;s1e20_51 Plankton; You may win this time. Shi-ya Ka-zing! [he claps his hands and ignites into a mini-explosion. The smoke from the explosion clears and he is completely charred] Well, this stinks. [he walks off to the Chum Bucket and is booed. Mr. Krabs runs up to Squidward backstage, leaving a trail of flames] ;s1e20_52 Mr. Krabs ; Squidward! [Literally races towards him, like an over speeding race car] This show is a disaster! You're ruinin’ me! ;s1e20_53 Squidward; Now, now, don't you worry, Mr. Krabs. I've saved the best for last, you'll see. ;s1e20_54 Mr. Krabs ; For your sake, I hope you're right. [bunch of spot lights gleam around Krusty Krab] ;s1e20_55 Squidward; And now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for. We've saved the best for last. Put your hands together for... [all streamers, confetti and purple, pink and blue balloons fall everywhere] the incomparable Squidward! ['Squidward Live' words blink in pink and green lights as the crowd applauds. Curtain opens and the background shows a canyon. Squidward dances with birds, accompanied by classical music. Then, the lights go dark and music becomes techno as Squidward dances weirdly. Makes weird noises as he dances after the first part of his dance.] ;s1e20_56 Incidental 4 ; What the...?! ;s1e20_57 {system}; [Squidward continues to make weird noises and dance weirdly. Crowd is booing and they throw tomatoes at Squidward] ;s1e20_58 Mr. Krabs ; I'm losin’ money on this deal! [puts a $1.00 sticker over the free sign on the salad bar. Grins.] ;s1e20_59 Fred; It's worth every penny. [everyone runs up to Mr. Krabs with dollar bills in hand] ;s1e20_60 Squidward; You bottom feeders! You don't even know talent! ;s1e20_61 Crowd; No talent! No talent! No talent! No talent! [curtain closes as Squidward leaves in frustration and anger] ;s1e20_62 SpongeBob; Hey, Squidward, can I go on now? ;s1e20_63 Squidward; Yeah, show's over! [crown continues booing as SpongeBob walks out and mops up the tomatoes. Crowd gets interested in this and applauds at him] ;s1e20_64 Crowd; Hey, yeah. That's really not bad. I like that. Alright! [SpongeBob briefly stops mopping and the crowd becomes silent. He then starts mopping faster getting even more applause. He then leaves stage right and the applause stops. He peeks from where he left and mops the floor while leaving stage left which starts the applause again. He waves goodbye to the crowd] We want more! We want more! We want more! We want— ;s1e20_65 Squidward; They want an encore! [pushes SpongeBob away] Stand aside, SpongeBob! [Squidward jumps out and the crowd grows silent. He goes backstage and SpongeBob comes back out mopping and crowd cheers again. SpongeBob leaves stage left as Squidward jumps out again and the crowd instantly becomes silent again. Squidward is angry.] ;s1e20_66 {system}; [SpongeBob's arm gets a cheer, but Squidward's does not. SpongeBob's leg is shown then curtain rises and SpongeBob is mopping. Curtain closes then opens to reveal Squidward mopping and the crowd goes silent.] ;s1e20_67 Mr. Krabs ; You did it, Squidward! What a great show! ;s1e20_68 Mrs. SquarePants ; Oh, my son's a star! ;s1e20_69 Mr. SquarePants ; Who ever knew he had such talent? ;s1e20_70 Mr. Krabs ; I'll be needin’ another wheelbarrow for next week's show! [crowd throws flowers at SpongeBob] ;s1e20_71