# Talk:Vella Pillay

This review is transcluded from Talk:Vella Pillay/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: The Most Comfortable Chair (talk · contribs) 19:49, 28 November 2021 (UTC)
Hello. I will get to this soon. — The Most Comfortable Chair 19:49, 28 November 2021 (UTC)


### Lead
"He was awarded an International economics degree from the London School of Economics, a Master of science in economics degree from the University of London, and an honorary doctorate from the University of Natal." — This isn't very lead-worthy if your article is not too broad in its content (for instance, look at the article I wrote, William B. Jordan) Instead, it would be better suited to elaborate on content from activism, economic research and advisory.
Done. Please have a look. Retained this sentence in addition to additional text.


### Early life and education
"Pillay was born on 8 October 1923 in Johannesburg..." — Use the full-name, "Vella Pillay", at the first instance in the prose.
Done.
"During this time, he would help his mother by selling vegetables..." — It is somewhat vague, and could mean anywhere from his early childhood to his college days. Could the description of time be more specific?
The exact time frame is not available, but, per the Guardian source, it appears like this was through his childhood until his brother became the breadwinner of the family.
"He graduated with a bachelor of commerce degree in 1948 from the University of the Witwatersrand" — Slightly awkward sequence. Perhaps "He graduated with a bachelor of commerce degree from the University of the Witwatersrand in 1948" would flow better?
Done. Still reads a tad awkward, please see. Thanks.
"At the LSE, Pillay was supervised by James Meade, who had been a director at the Cabinet Office Economic Section and a contributor to Keynes' General Theory of Employment, and later won the Nobel Prize for Economics." — Goes a little too off topic. Especially the bit of "who had been a director at the Cabinet Office Economic Section" seems unnecessary or relatively insignificant to mention here.
Tweaked this one. Want to retain some information about JM. Please have a look and let know if this works.
"He visited the People's Republic of China several times and met Mao Zedong, Zhou Enlai and other leaders." — Can it be clarified as to why he made those visits? Was it for his thesis, because of his work with the bank, or did he do so because he was influenced by them? You can also mention if those meetings had a lasting impact on him.
Great idea. Let me work on this.


### Activism
"During Pillay's time at university" — Specify which university.
Done.
"Early on" — Mention the year instead, if possible.
Actual year not available. Will continue to look.
"Operating out of London, Pillay was involved in the South African Communist Party's overseas operations. When the South African government banned the SACP in 1950, the operations of the party continued to be led by overseas operatives including Pillay." — Repetition of facts. Can be merged as "Operating out of London, Pillay was involved in the South African Communist Party's overseas operations, even after the South African government banned the SACP in 1950."
Done.
"He was the fund manager of the party, and a part of the team that produced the party's periodical, African Communist." — Is it known when?
"In 1978, Pillay was awarded an MSc in economics by the University of London." — Was this honorary or did he study there? That could be clarified.
Not a honorary degree.


### Economic research and advisory
"minorities including black people." — Any particular reason why this is specified?
Happy to reword if you have any guidance.
"Pillay received an honorary doctorate, for his contributions with the MERG, from the University of Natal." — When?
Done.


### References
Reference 1 — "the Guardian" → "The Guardian".
Done.
Reference 2 — "Vella Pillay | South African History Online" → "Vella Pillay"; "www.sahistory.org.za" → "South African History Online"
Done.
Reference 5 and 7 — Need proper formatting.
Please can you help me with some more details on this one. Thanks.
Reference 10 — "Ideas and Power: Academic Economists and the Making of Policy – Institute for African Alternatives" →  "Ideas and Power: Academic Economists and the Making of Policy"; Also needs "publisher" parameter as "Institute for African Alternatives".
Done.
Reference 11 — "2021" → "2021-02-16"; Also needs "access-date".
Can you please help me with this one, not able to find it. Completed by Graham Beards, I think. Please let know if something more is needed here.
Reference 12 — Merge with reference 2.
Done.
Reference 13 — Needs "access-date".
Done.
That will be all for now. — The Most Comfortable Chair 12:01, 11 December 2021 (UTC)
@The Most Comfortable Chair: -- Thanks much for this feedback. I will work on these and will share an update. Thanks. Ktin (talk) 17:26, 11 December 2021 (UTC)

@The Most Comfortable Chair: -- Thanks for your patience. Passing this review back to you. Most of your feedback has been incorporated. Please have a look and let know if you need any other edits incorporated. Thanks again.Ktin (talk) 20:38, 29 December 2021 (UTC)


### Final
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it well written?
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct: 

B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation: 

Is it verifiable with no original research?
A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline: 

B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines: 

C. It contains no original research: 

D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism: 

Is it broad in its coverage?
A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic: 

B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style): 

Is it neutral?
It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each: 

Is it stable?
It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute: 

Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content: 

B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions: 

Overall:
Pass or Fail: 
The article is concise and well-written. It meets the criteria, and I am happy to pass this nomination. Thank you for your hard work, Graham Beards and Ktin. — The Most Comfortable Chair 06:47, 31 December 2021 (UTC)

Look fine to me. Graham Beards (talk) 18:12, 31 December 2021 (UTC)