# Talk:Twenty Foreplay

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Twenty Foreplay/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 18:58, 31 August 2023 (UTC)
This should run until Saturday at the very latest --K. Peake 18:58, 31 August 2023 (UTC)

It is reasonably well written.
a. (prose, spelling, and grammar): 

b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): 

It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a. (reference section): 

b. (citations to reliable sources): 

c. (OR): 

d. (copyvio and plagiarism): 

It is broad in its coverage.
a. (major aspects): 

b. (focused): 

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 

It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): 

b. (appropriate use with suitable captions): 

Overall:
Pass/fail: 

(Criteria marked  are unassessed)


### Infobox and lead
Shouldn't James Harris III and Terry Lewis be listed as two separate songwriters in the infobox?
"as the album's second single on" → "as the second single on"
Pipe 24 hours a day to 24/7 service
"The title is a" → "The song is a"
"and was unable to" → "yet was unable to"
"in the United States due to" → "in the US due to" per MOS:US
""Twenty Roleplay" was only performed on" → "Once, the song was performed on"


### Background and composition
"being recorded in" since this appears to be about the two songs, I would add the word both here
"The former was relesed" → "The former was released"
"in the United States as" → "in the US as" per MOS:US
Remove overly obvious wikilinks on guitar, drums and flute
Pipe ballad to Sentimental ballad
"noted that its" → "noted that the song's"
Pipe 24 hours a day to 24/7 service


### Reception
"received positive reviews from" → "was met with positive reviews from"
Remove pipe on Vibe
Add "the staff of" for Music Week and Music & Media
"highly-focused adult performer."" → "highly-focused adult performer"." per MOS:QUOTE
"felt like "genuine hits," → "feel like "genuine hits,"
"on the rise."" → "on the rise"."
"complementing that "if they" → "complementing "if they"
"modern rock band."" → "modern rock band"."
"monster they created"." → "monster they created."" since this is a full sentence quoted
"the Mainstream Top 40 and R&B/Hip-Hop Airplay" → "the US Mainstream Top 40 and R&B/Hip-Hop Airplay charts"
"where it peaked at number 27" → "peaking at number 27"
"In the United Kingdom," → "In the UK,"
"However, it fared better" → "However, the song fared better"


### Promotion
#### Music video
Img looks good!
"glamorous Hollywood life such as" → "glamorous Hollywood life, such as"
"and felt that she" → "and felt she"
"cool photography impress"." → "cool photography impress."" per MOS:QUOTE on full sentences
"in your head"." → "in your head."" per above guideline


#### Live performance
The stool is not sourced
"although it "isn't always" → "although not "always"


### Track listings and formats
Good


### Credits and personnel
Use {{spaced ndash}} so there is the right space between credits and personnel
I would suggest using a div col here per the size


### Charts
Good


### Release history
Good


### References
Copyvio score looks great at 29.6%!!!
Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
For the refs citing from Google Books, newspapers.com or anywhere else add these in the via parameter
WP:OVERLINK of VH1 on ref 16


### Final comments and verdict
 On hold until all of the issues are fixed; took a few days but we are there now! --K. Peake 07:25, 2 September 2023 (UTC)
@Kyle Peake: All issues have been addressed. Thanks for your review! Alex reach me! 01:46, 3 September 2023 (UTC)
11JORN You still need to change to the United States on the second instance in lead. --K. Peake 17:47, 3 September 2023 (UTC)
@Kyle Peake: done Alex reach me! 19:01, 3 September 2023 (UTC)
 Pass now, although I copyedited to show what the real setting for United should have been across the lead! --K. Peake 20:35, 3 September 2023 (UTC)