# Talk:Public Strain

This review is transcluded from Talk:Public Strain/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:28, 30 January 2022 (UTC)

A review of this coming later on today! --K. Peake 07:28, 30 January 2022 (UTC)


### Infobox and lead
September 28 is not sourced as the exact release date anywhere in the body
Added ref in release section
"and final album" → "and final studio album"
Done
The production part should be in the recording sentence instead
See below
"on September 28, 2010, on" → "on September 28, 2010, via" but again, the exact release date is not sourced
Done
Remove VanGaalen's label introduction because this is not needed in the lead when it's in the body already
Done
"Public Strain was recorded during a" → "The album was recorded during a"
done
"8-month recording process" the body seems to source around 10 months, not eight
Added efn
Regarding the production merger, do something like adding a semi-colon then write "produced by Chad VanGaalen."
Now it's: "The album was produced by Chad VanGaalen and recorded during a period of isolation for the band..."
"It is noted for its key and time signature changes," → "It has been noted for the key changes and vocal delivery," or something else notable per only one song having the signature mentioned, with the target
done
"and post-punk genre." → "and numerous genres including post-punk."
Done
Remove late artist intro to Ray Johnson per the body being sufficient
Done
"are described as" → "were described as"
Done
Pipe harmonizing to Harmonization
Done
"The instrumentation on the album is" → "The instrumentation is"
Done
No feedback is sourced in the body and only one song is mentioned as featured reverberation, so reword or source more info
Just reworded
"The tour for the album would" → "An accompanying tour would"
Done
"lead to the band's disbanding" → "lead to Women's disbanding"
Done
It needs to be mentioned directly in the body that the album failed to chart, rather than just no positions listed
I can't find a source that says that the album failed to chart explicitly, but the album never charted other than in the earshot chart. Should I just remove this?
I would suggest so, as everything in the leads needs to be written out in the body and the !earshot chart is not notable. --K. Peake 08:59, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
There we go
"have labeled the album" → "have labeled Public Strain"
done
"Eyesore" being retrospectively praised is not backed up in the body
Moved part in music section to legacy section, hopefully that is sufficient
Yeah, this should do it. --K. Peake 08:59, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
"Public Strain has received" → "the album has received
Done
The impact is sourced in the body, but it being on indie artists and mentioned by personnel/recording is not
Added more info in legacy section
Does not appear to have any mention of indie artists, even if you have added VanGallen for the latter part. --K. Peake 08:59, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
I clarified this a bit. Does this read fine now?


### Background and recording
Wikilink Chad VanGaalen on the img text
Done
Mention the name of their debut studio album
Done
"the band members lived" → "the members lived"
Done
Pipe jam to Jam session
Done
The name of the studio space is not mentioned by the source
Whoops. Cite added
"which led to the band" → "which led to them"
Done
"as a "slog," but with similar or the same experimentation techniques as the band's first record." → "as a "slog", but with similar or the same experimentation techniques as Women." per MOS:QUOTE
Done
"acknowledged the band's influence" → "acknowledged Women's influence"
Done
[4] should be solely at the end of the para per it being used for the last two sentences
Done
Remove overly obvious wikilink on India
Done
"the album varies with" → "Public Strain varies with"
Done
"that the band members would" → "that the band members did"
Done
Add the interview source to the quote to avoid OR
Done
"Most of the album was" → "Most of Public Strain was"
Done
"on the bands intended sound," → "of Women's intended sound,"
Done
"growing incredibly paranoid."" should only have the punctuation inside speech marks if it is the end of a full sentence quoted
Done
Wikilink Flemish Eye and mention it being VanGaalen's label here
Done
"for creating the album." → "for creating Public Strain."
Done
Wikilink Nintendo
Done
Wikilink cassette tape
Done


### Music and lyrics
Wikilink The Velvet Underground on the img text
Done
[9] should be only invoked once in the first sentence; do this after the second genre it sources
done
"shows more pop influences than the band's debut album." → "showcases more pop influences than Women." with the pipe
done
"The album opens with" → "It begins with" also, remove the comma from inside the song title speech marks
Done
Pipe key to Key (music)
Done
Wikilink time signature
Done
"is noted for its minimal use" → "was noted for a minimal use" plus mention the feedback in this sentence and change 60s to 1960s
Done
You missed the initial point and the extra parts --K. Peake 08:59, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
W h o o p s. Done
Pipe ballad to Sentimental ballad
Done
"to the album's tenth track" → "to Public Strain's tenth track"
Done
The first quote about "Venice Lockjaw" is not sourced
Done
"to woo the stars."" → "to woo the stars"." per MOS:QUOTE
Done
Remove the comma from inside "Bells", also the integral description is unsourced
Somehow I switched the refs up, fixed
"style drive a listener" → "style drive listeners" but the quote is not sourced and move the punctuation outside speech marks
Ref added, fixed
"is considered to be" → "has been considered to be"
Done
"noisiest tracks on the album," → "noisiest tracks on Public Strain," but where is the noisiest part sourced?
Done, source added
The "brilliant climax" part is not sourced, also this is not neutral for music and lyrics
Just removed that part
[16][17] should solely be at the end of the sentence
Done
"wide melodic intervals."" → "wide melodic intervals"."
Done
"only single off of the album;" → "only single from Public Strain;"
Done
"their swan song."" → "their swan song"."
Done
""Eyesore" is one of" → "The track is one of"
Done
"The album is noted for its evocative," → "Public Strain is noted for evocative,"
Done
"between Patrick and Matthew Flegel," → "between Patrick and Matt Flegel,"
Done
"The album cover was" → "The cover art was" to be less repetitive
Done
"of the town where Johnson lived in," → "of the town where Johnson lived,"
Done
"was also referenced on" → "was previously referenced on"
Done


### Release
The releases are not sourced, also can you find an exact date like you've wrote in the beginning of the article?
Done...hopefully
This should work, I suppose. --K. Peake 08:59, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
Pipe !earshot to Exclaim!
done
"3-month fall tour" → "three-month fall tour" per MOS:NUM
done
"and the band's label Flemish Eye stated that the band" → "and Flemish Eye stated that Women"
done
"in the same year after" → "in October 2010 after"
done
Why no mention of the "Eyesore" single release here?
Brief mention added, but there is a surprising lack of information


### Reception
Pipe The Boston Phoenix to The Phoenix (newspaper)
Done
"Sputnikmusic juxtaposed the band" → "Sputnikmusic reviewer Electric City juxtaposed Women"
Done
"with reviewer Electric City writing that "[i]n the" → "writing: "In the"
Done
Fix MOS:QUOTE issues throughout this section for the parts that aren't full sentences
"Chris Buckle, writing for" → "Chris Buckle, for"
Done
"writing for PopMatters, commented that in the wake of the bands" → "at PopMatters, commented that in the wake of the band's"
Done
"writing for No Ripcord," → "for No Ripcord" and remove the independent introduction here, also doesn't this contradict the widespread acclaim statement at the start? If so, I would suggest altering that part.
Done. I'm not sure since while some reviewers were more qualified, this is the sole negative review I could find (also see the Metacritic and ADM refs)
The Velvet Underground → the Velvet Underground per MOS:THEMUSIC
Done
"placed it at" → "placed the album at"
Done
"of the BBC called it" → "of BBC called Public Strain" with the wikilink
Done


#### Legacy and influence
"The album is widely considered" → "It is widely considered"
Done
"Sputnikmusic's staff ranked it the 3rd" → "Sputnikmusic's staff ranked Public Strain the third" per MOS:NUM
Done
Fix MOS:QUOTE issues throughout this section for the parts that aren't full sentences
Done...again, hopefully
"ranked it the" → "ranked the album the"
done
"of the decade respectively." → "of the decade, respectively."
done
"called the album a" → "called Public Strain a"
Done
Pipe cult classic to Cult following
Done
Remove wikilink on the Velvet Underground
Done
Remove or replace Medium per WP:MEDIUM
Removed
"named it one" → "named Public Strain one"
Done
Remove wikilink on Flemish Eye
Done
"that had released the album" → "that had released Public Strain"
Done


### Track listing
See MOS:TABLECAPTION
Done


### Personnel
Wikilink Chad VanGaalen and mention him being producer too
Done


### References
Copyvio score looks too high at 51.6%; cut down the quoting in legacy and influence to fix this
Done...but will double check after I post this
It is around 41% now, which means you still need to cut down quoting but good job in dropping by around 10%! --K. Peake 09:00, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
Cut this down
Wikilink Calgary Herald on ref 1
I have my doubts about ref 3's reliability, as The Blue Indian identifies as a blog
Just removing, as it only sources a little bit on the recording section
Cite Tumblr as publisher instead on ref 5 with the wikilink
Done
Cite last name before first on ref 6 and wikilink Apple Podcasts, citing in via parameter instead
Done
Remove or replace ref 8 per WP:MEDIUM
Just removed
Cite Bandcamp as publisher instead on ref 10
Done
Pipe The Boston Phoenix to The Phoenix (newspaper) on ref 12
Done
Cite Revolution Rock as publisher instead on ref 13
Done
WP:OVERLINK of PopMatters on ref 17
Removed
Cite Sputnikmusic as publisher instead on refs 18 and 35, wikilinking on the first instance
Done
Remove Beats Per Minute from the title of ref 19 and cite as Beats Per Minute instead, piping to Beats Per Minute (website)
Done
Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 20 and 21
Using single quotes now
Cite Flemish Eye Records as publisher instead on ref 22 and pipe to Flemish Eye
done
www.earshot-online.com → !earshot on ref 23, piping to Exclaim!
Done
Remove or replace ref 24 per WP:SELFPUB
Replaced
Remove wikilink on Exclaim! for ref 31
Done
Cite Pitchfork as work/website instead on ref 32
Done
Remove BBC from the title of ref 33 and change www.bbc.co.uk to BBC, citing as publisher instead with the wikilink
Done
Aux.tv → A.Side TV on ref 34, citing as publisher instead with the wikilink
Done
Cite Gorilla vs. Bear on ref 36 with the wikilink
Done
Wikilink Tiny Mix Tapes on ref 37
Done
exclaim.ca → Exclaim! on ref 38
Done
FLOOD → Flood on ref 39
Done


### External links
Good


### Final comments and verdict
 On hold until all of the issues are fixed; quite a lengthy review this one! --K. Peake 14:38, 30 January 2022 (UTC)
I'm gonna save here--feel free to look through my changes, and I'll finish this up in a bit DecrepitlyOnward (he/they/she) (talk) 18:23, 30 January 2022 (UTC)
@K. Peake: I've responded to everything above. I think this only needs a tad more work but we'll see. If you need me to clarify something further, I am happy to! DecrepitlyOnward (he/they/she) (talk) 23:50, 30 January 2022 (UTC)
DecrepitlyOnward It is applaudable that you responded so quickly and I have done some copy editing myself in minor areas, but there are still some unresolved issues that I pointed out above. --K. Peake 08:59, 31 January 2022 (UTC)
@K. Peake:, I really should've double checked and brought all of the advice from my last GAN to here. But here we are. Addressed everything above. DecrepitlyOnward (he/they/she) (talk) 01:39, 1 February 2022 (UTC)
 Pass time, no problems are remaining now! --K. Peake 08:19, 1 February 2022 (UTC)