# Talk:Steve Longa

This review is transcluded from Talk:Steve Longa/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 11:59, 20 November 2017 (UTC)

Right, time for another. From the top of the pile this time.

Lead
"..tackles by a freshmen.." Should be "freshman".  Done
"Longa forgoed his final year.." I think it should be "forwent".  Done
Early life
"Longa lived in Yaoundé, Cameroon before moving to the United States at the age of 12." Would it be worth mentioning in the lead that he is from Cameroon; it seems at least slightly noteworthy?
Due to the lead saying "American football", a lot of American football bios don't have any nationality stated in the lead to avoid the weird "Cameroonian American football player" and because probably around 95% of American football players are American (also see this for lead examples). I have also seen some articles written like "Cameroonian professional American football player". Also, is Longa an American now too? I could change it to "Cameroonian-born" (which I have now done) Thoughts? WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 23:39, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
"..and was recruited to play football." Clarify which code of football here; while it is in the lead, I always think it worth repeating on first mention in the body.  Done
What is "BPSL-Carpenter"? There is a link for BPSL, but no indication what Carpenter might represent.  Done
I've tried to make this clearer in the article, let me know what you think? Harrias talk 07:35, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
Looks fine. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 22:43, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
Provide a wikilink or explanation for sacks, rushing yards, and rushing touchdowns.  Done
As above for "NJIC-Meadowlands B". In this case, I can see Meadowlands is a division. Does this mean he was named on the "First team" honors for the Meadowlands (B?) division of the NJIC? Greater clarity is needed on these.  Done
I've tried to make this clearer in the article, let me know what you think? Harrias talk 07:35, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
Looks fine. From googling, it looks like Meadowlands B is a division. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 22:43, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
What is the 2011 Chesapeake Bowl?  Done
@WikiOriginal-9: Still need something on this. Harrias talk 07:35, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
"He committed to Rutgers in May 2011." Spell this out a bit more: "He committed to play college football for Rutgers in May 2011." Or similar (assuming I'm understanding it right.)  Done
College career
"..by any NCAA Division I freshmen.." Should be "freshman".  Done
Explain "forced fumbles", "fumble recovery", "pass breakups".  Done
"..with lineman Marcus Thompson." What is a "lineman"?  Done
Referencing
Generally looks good, all live links and spotchecks reveal nothing to concern me. Harrias talk 11:59, 20 November 2017 (UTC)
Thanks for your work on this, happy to pass now. Harrias talk 09:25, 24 November 2017 (UTC)
Thanks for the review. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 18:50, 24 November 2017 (UTC)