# Talk:The Moon (song)

This review is transcluded from Talk:The Moon (song)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: MaranoFan (talk · contribs) 10:55, 29 November 2018 (UTC)
I'll be reviewing this.--NØ 10:55, 29 November 2018 (UTC)

"The Moon" is a song recorded by Romanian group Taxi, consisting of lead vocalist Dan Teodorescu, Lucian Cioargă, Adrian Borțun, George Pătrănoiu and Georgiana Pană." -- Remove everything after the word "Taxi", members of the group do not need to be mentioned here.
"It represented Romania in the 2000 Eurovision Song Contest in Stockholm, Sweden after "Luna" won the pre-selection show Selecția Națională." -- Add a comma after Sweden
"Commercially, "The Moon" failed to impact any national chart." -- I suggest removing this, its a trivial detail and we can't find any source that explicitly confirms that it didn't impact any national chart so its also WP:OR.
"Taxi is a Romanian band formed in 1999, consisting of lead vocalist Dan Teodorescu, Lucian Cioargă, Adrian Borțun, George Pătrănoiu and Georgiana Pană. The group rose to major fame in their native country after the commercial success of the two singles "Criogenia salvează România" (1999) and "Aici sunt banii dumneavoastră" (2000), as well as because of their controversial lyrics." -- This whole paragraph reads like a biography on the band and has no place in this song article, really. Suggest removing it. Also, "major fame" is WP:PEACOCK wording.
"On 27 February 2000, the Selecția Națională was held" -- Add "song contest" before "was held" to give readers context of what it is
"the span of time in which the public could vote for entries was set to one hour, while eventually extended unannounced to three hours." -- This sentence reads awkwardly, I suggest using "the span of time in which the public could vote for entries was set to one hour, and eventually extended to three hours without prior announcement." instead
"preceded by France and followed by the Malta" -- Remove "the" before Malta
"Romania eventually came in 17th position with 25 points" -- Try "placed" instead of "came"

Will be passing the article if all concerns are addressed.--NØ 10:55, 29 November 2018 (UTC)

@MaranoFan: Hi and thank you very much for the review!! Regarding the point with the biography, it is important that the artist is introduced to the reader if the single is his debut one or if it is the first Wikipedia article for one of their singles. With that being said, I believe those few sentences should stay there. Best regards; Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:09, 29 November 2018 (UTC)