# Talk:Tropical Storm Barry (2013)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Tropical Storm Barry (2013)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 02:28, 16 December 2013 (UTC)

"The wave tracked northwestward and began to develop in slightly favorable conditions." -- "slightly" → "marginally"? Just sounds more encyclopedic IMO.
Fair enough. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
"Swollen rivers displaced thousands in Veracruz and killed two people. In El Salvador, two people were killed by flooding." -- what about the fifth and final death?
Added. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
"That day a low pressure area developed just north of Panama." -- isn't a comma necessary after "day"?
Not necessarily, but I added one. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
"Despite moving over land, the circulation and convection became better organized, and after it emerged over open waters, the system developed into Tropical Depression Two at 1200 UTC on June 17 about 25 mi (45 km) north-northwest of La Ceiba, Honduras." -- comma after 17?
I disagree here. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
"Also situated 60 mi (95 km) east of Monkey River Town, Belize..." -- surely a nitpick, but the depression was not exactly 60 miles east of Monkey River Town at formation. How about a "roughly", "approximately", or "about"? :)
Heh, changed to "about" --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
"While traversing the southern Yucatán Peninsula, the system nearly degenerated into a remnant low during the afternoon of June 18; however, as it neared water, sufficient convection redeveloped to consider the system a tropical depression." -- consider is typically used in the context of a disturbance being designated as a tropical depression; Two was actually considered such. How about "...however, as it neared water, sufficient convection redeveloped to maintain the system as a tropical depression."?
Good idea. This part was a bit difficult to work, but I like your suggestion. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
"A Hurricane Hunter reconnaissance mission into the depression during the afternoon of June 19 revealed gale-force winds, prompting the NHC to upgrade and name the system Tropical Storm Barry." -- wikilink gale.
Done. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
"Based on intermittent bursts in convection and a report of 38 mph (61 km/h) sustained winds on Isla de Sacrificios, it was estimated that Barry attained peak winds of 45 km/h (75 mph)." -- the TCR says, "The estimated peak intensity of 40 kt is based on reconnaissance aircraft data, a blend of subjective Dvorak intensity estimates from TAFB and SAB, and UW-CIMSS ADT intensity estimates."
I'll defer to the TCR here. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
"Between 1200 and 1300 UTC on June 20, Barry made landfall just north ofVeracruz, Mexico." -- the TCR gives the landfall time at 1115 UTC; near Laguna La Mancha, Mexico.
Since there is no link for Laguna La Mancha, I included both refs. More useful. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
"The center of circulation became increasing ill-defined and the majority of convection was located well away from the center, dissipating late on June 20 over the Mexican state of Puebla." -- this is worded so that it sounds like the convection dissipated, which did. But what about the tropical cyclone?
Split and clarified. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
"In southern Belize, an estimated 10 in (250 mm) of rain fell in 24 hours, causing several rivers to over-top their banks" -- overtop does not require a hyphen.
Fixed. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
"Heavy rains, peaking at 14.6 in (370 mm) in Misantla, in the state brought more than a dozen rivers to critical levels and triggered flash flooding." - Say what?
Better? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
Reference 1 requires a title (Tropical Cyclone Report: Tropical Storm Barry). :)
Yea, yea... --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
Be consistent with the use of middle initials. Daniel's is P., Stewart's is R. (reference 1, 11).
Fixed. I made them all just first, last. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
Reference 27 is dead.
Brought it back to life! --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
Just a few minor errors and tweaks necessary! TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 02:28, 16 December 2013 (UTC)

Hope I got them all! --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:25, 16 December 2013 (UTC)
You did. Passing! TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 04:33, 16 December 2013 (UTC)