# Talk:The Armorer

This review is transcluded from Talk:The Armorer/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Cavie78 (talk · contribs) 17:47, 30 April 2020 (UTC)

I'll have a look at this Cavie78 (talk) 17:47, 30 April 2020 (UTC)

Thanks Cavie78! — Hunter Kahn 05:12, 2 May 2020 (UTC)
Lead

"deliberately-paced movement" (see also - Conception). Seems a bit odd. The source(s) says "deliberateness of movement", which I'm not sure is entirely the same thing.
Reworded. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"very impactful" Not entirely sure what you mean by this
I changed it to "were very noticeable", though if you have a suggestion for better wording, let me know. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"among the creators of the Armorer" (see also - Conception) So who were the other creators?
Well, it's worded that way specifically because the source identifies Favreau as one of the creators, but it doesn't specifically state he is the only creator. So I thought it was safer and more accurate to describe him this way rather than calling him the creator, which indicates it he and he alone created the character. But let me know if you think this should be reworded. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
Haha, no problem. Happy to promote now - congrats on another GA! Cavie78 (talk) 20:41, 9 May 2020 (UTC)
Appearances

"She is the leader of a tribe of Mandalorian warriors on a secret enclave on the planet Nevarro" Not sure about this, maybe "She is the leader of a tribe of Mandalorian warriors on the planet Nevarro, who [hide or live?] in a secret enclave"
Reworded. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"armor and a conceals" -> "armor and conceals"
Oops! Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"This marked the first time the Jedi are" either "This marks the first time the Jedi are" OR "This marked the first time the Jedi were"
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"She said honor" -> "She says honor"
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"kills all five of the troopers in" Think you can just say "kills all five in" as you've already established that the Armourer has been approached by five stormtroopers in the previous sentence.
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
Characterization

"She is very intelligent, knows" -> "She is very intelligent and knows"
Fixed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"while seldom speaking herself except when necessary" think this could be worded better, maybe "and only speaks when necessary"?
Yeah that is much better. lol Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
""simplicity (and) efficiency of movement" -> ""simplicity [and] efficiency of movement"
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
Concept and Creation
Conception

"particularly in the character's" -> "especially in the character's" (to avoid repetition of particularly in the same sentence
Portrayal

"and she knew" -> "but she knew"
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"a casting associate at the audition itself gave" -> "a casting associate at the audition gave" (remove repetition of "itself" and don't think it's needed here)
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"variation of scene" -> "variation of the scene"
Added. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"conduct Internet research" -> "conduct internet research"
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"a comfort to be able to draw upon his expertise as a resource" Don't think "as a resource" is necessary here
Dropped. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"a sublety to the part that she said was influenced in part" -> "a sublety to the part that she said was influenced to a certain extent" (avoid repetition of part within same sentence)
Done. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"if her moments" -> "if her movements"
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"as well the way" -> "as well as the way"
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
Costume

"Swallow called an "incredible process"" -> "Swallow called it an "incredible process""
Filming

"was not provided a detailed backstory" -> "was not provided with a detailed backstory"
" filming in the actual sets" -> " filming on the actual sets"
"on a sound stages" -> "on sound stages"
"who directed in "Chapter 8: Redemption" -> "who directed "Chapter 8: Redemption""
"the Aromrer doesn't really fangirl" -> "the Armorer doesn't really fangirl"
Cultural impact
Critical reception

"He particularly complimented Emily Swallow's ability to portray emotion despite her face being concealed, and was particularly" Two 'particularly's in same sentence
Dropped the first one. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"said fans became invested in the Armorer her first appearance" -> "said fans became invested in the Armorer from her first appearance"
"He described her "the" -> "He described her as "the"
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"noting her importance to advancing" -> "noting her importance in advancing"
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"particularly from young girls who that the Armorer" ???
Changed; meant to say from young girls who appreciated that she was a tough warrior. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"impressed by fan art of the character that fans have sent" Given that it's fan art, I don't think you need "fans have sent her", maybe "impressed by fan art of the character that she has been sent"
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"on social media accounts"
Removed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"but she said the level"
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
"Swallow also does not"
Changed. — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
Merchandise

Ok
Images

All ok, with appropriate licences
Sources

All seem good
Good work again Hunter Kahn. A few things to clear up, but nothing major. Putting on hold for now Cavie78 (talk) 14:24, 3 May 2020 (UTC)
Thanks Cavie78! — Hunter Kahn 21:25, 4 May 2020 (UTC)
Thanks for making the majority of changes Hunter Kahn, but you seem to have missed the Costume and Filming sections? Cavie78 (talk) 21:15, 6 May 2020 (UTC)
Oops, LOL, I don't know how I missed those Cavie78, but I've addressed them all now. Thanks! — Hunter Kahn 20:10, 7 May 2020 (UTC)

The following Wikimedia Commons file used on this page or its Wikidata item has been nominated for deletion:

Star Wars and the Power of Costume July 2018 28 (Boba Fett's costume, helmet, and jetpack from Episode VI).jpg
Participate in the deletion discussion at the nomination page. —Community Tech bot (talk) 12:53, 12 June 2020 (UTC)

Stunt performer Lauren Mary Kim discusses the fight scene as the Armorer as part of a video reacting to other stunts.[2] She repeats some things that have already been mentioned (that the figthing style was Kali/Escrima etc) but I don't think it has been mentioned elsewhere that the scene was filmed by the 2nd unit and directed by Dave Filoni. The relevant part of the video runs from 5 minute mark to about 8 minutes, as the conversation moves on to other topics. -- 109.77.210.97 (talk) 09:44, 9 November 2020 (UTC)

According to Kim the it was the hardest fight scene she'd ever done (because of the armor) and it was filmed repeatedly from multiple angles but as as one long single take.
I want to add this to the article already but I was still hoping to find a secondary reference that is text rather than video. -- 109.76.214.105 (talk) 18:07, 1 January 2021 (UTC)

I have not officially marked this article to be of questionable notability, primarily because I am a new editor and do not know how, but also because I do not think it is harmful for this article to exist. However, I would question why this particular character, who appears in only a handful of scenes, has such a detailed page compared to characters in this and other franchises.
Scansoriopteryx (talk) 02:27, 30 December 2020 (UTC)

The Wikipedia idea of "notable" and what people think of as notable are not necessarily the same thing, but also pages are created by people who are interested enough to put in the time and effort. All the details are in the WP:NOTABILITY guidelines. Editors have put in a lot of work find sources and to achieve "Good article" status and as you say there's no harm in this article existing. The lack of detail for other franchises or tv series compared to this one doesn't make this article any more or less notable, and plenty of editors already complain that pop-culture articles get far more care and attention than articles about science or important historical topics.
Good articles (and Feature articles) are often still far from perfect so if there are flaws you can still point them out, usually by adding {{Citation needed}} (if something does not have a reference) or {{Better source needed}} (if something has a low quality reference such a fansite instead a more reliable source). -- 109.76.214.105 (talk) 18:22, 1 January 2021 (UTC)