# Talk:The Last Hope: Dead Zone Survival

This review is transcluded from Talk:The Last Hope: Dead Zone Survival/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Vaticidalprophet (talk · contribs) 20:44, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
This article has potential, but there are significant issues:

The prose needs thorough copyediting. There are many basic grammar mistakes, such as omitted apostrophes, and MOS errors such as misused tense (see MOS:TENSE and WP:FICTENSE).
Some of the statements aren't backed up by the cited source. For instance, while I was able to find confirmation VG is Moldovan, it's not on Metacritic. Similarly, "Eve/Eva" is only referred to as "Eva" by Digital Foundry and GameRevolution (Eurogamer and the Escapist mention she's known by both, but neither are cited, and it's probably more natural to footnote this and call her the more commonly-used name in text), and the idea that framerate "constantly" drops to 15 isn't in the review.
Concerningly, some sources are misunderstood or misrepresented. For instance, the line The games eShop banner itself was pointed out to have Ellie on it, with the serial number filed off doesn't seem to understand that file off the serial numbers is a saying referring to copycat products rather than a literal description of what VG did.
There are omitted sources that give unique coverage, such as Eurogamer and The Escapist.
I came here intending to do a full review despite these. While these are serious issues, this article genuinely has potential. Having said that -- I don't think, having laid these out and thought about them more, that a GA review is the right place to fix them. The prose needs to be substantially reworked, and it's probably best to bring in a third copyeditor for that. I've added some cleanup tags for the issues I've brought up, and it occurred to me while doing so that there were enough of them for serious enough reasons for the article to fit quickfail criteria.
Having said that, I think post-copyediting and expansion, this really could be a GA. I'd be happy to take another look in the near future and to help you with anything to do with the GA process. Vaticidalprophet 20:44, 5 August 2023 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:The Last Hope: Dead Zone Survival/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Ca (talk · contribs) 04:17, 15 August 2023 (UTC)
Hello. I will be reviewing this article. Feel free to raise any concerns!
Easy ones first:

The article is stable Y
and illustrated. Non-free images of Game cover, gameplay, and character design are common point of discussion. meets NFCC Y
Now concerning issues:
Alongside the gameplay, the game's writing was pointed out by McMullen for being weird and having grammar mistakes, such as "you dead" (in all caps) in the game over screen and the line “Oh, just like my yet to come daughter", spoken by Brian Lee upon meeting Eva.
While McMullen highlights the odd dialogue, he does not criticize them for poor grammar nor characterizes them for being "weird". I recommend changing "being weird and having grammar mistakes" to "clumsy" to better align with the sources.

Done.
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James Stephanie Sterling and Chris McMullen of The Escapist
This implies both James Stephanie Sterling AND Chris McMullen wrote for The Escapist when they wrote on different websites.

Fixed
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Following widespread media coverage and the game's low price point of £0.99 at the time, the game experienced a major surge in sales.[11]

Closer wording: change "the game experienced a major surge in sale" to "the game reached thousands of downloads."
Perhaps in-line attribute? TheGamer isn't a site I would 100% trust to do analysis like this.

Partially done, don't know how to do "in-line attributes"
Sorry, I meant attributing opinions in-line using phrases like "According to X, ..."
...even having Ellie on the game's banner that sounds too hyperbolic. Try this wording: For example, the character Eva(shown on the game's banner) was heavily criticized for being a copy of Ellie in Last of Us.

Fixed

Plot:
"It is shortly after revealed that Eva is Brian's future daughter." - Bad grammar

Fixed.
Reception: 
"Several publications pointed out the game's plagiarized character designs."
Consider adding bundled citations for the claim of there being "Several publications" that support this.
See Celeste (game) for examples.
Same goes for this claim: "These were used by other publications as an example to prove that the game used deceptive advertising on consumers..."

I edit primarily with visual editing, so I am not too sure how to merge citations. Will do this if I figure out how to do it, but for now I've just cited more publications.
"menu being active under the opening Unity logo, which would cause save data to be erased." You should clarify how.

Done.
The game was described by Eurogamer as "we have the Last of Us at home". This quotation does not make sense outside context.

Attempted to clarify what this means by saying it references an internet meme.
This article is really close to being a GA now! Good job. Only problems left are just some prose issues. Sources are reputable game review sites and the article is NPOV. Lead summarizes the content well, and I failed to spot any close paraphrasing from the sources I checked.

I recommend looking through this custom search engine [1] - There is still a lot of sources not included in the article. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Ca (talk • contribs) 02:17, 22 August 2023 (UTC)

I'll have to look, but I don't know if there's anything the extra sources could add to the article that isn't said already. I'll look within the next couple of days. — Preceding unsigned comment added by NegativeMP1 (talk • contribs) 16:26, 22 August 2023 (UTC)
I honestly don't think there is a whole lot that the unused sources can say that isn't already in the article. A lot of the sources in the article to begin with already just lay on the Digital Foundry analysis, and these don't seem that different. Everything that says anything of substance I believe is in the article now. NegativeMP1 23:01, 25 August 2023 (UTC)
Alright, a quick read of the article displays no issues, and all significant reviews(at least what I could find) are covered. I'll be passing this. Good job.👍 Ca talk to me! 05:39, 26 August 2023 (UTC)