# Talk:Pic-Nic

This review is transcluded from Talk:Pic-Nic/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 17:42, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

I think this article has been waiting at GAN for long enough! — GhostRiver 17:42, 1 November 2021 (UTC)


### Infobox and lede
"Contrary to popular belief, keyboardist Jordi Sabatés does not appear in any of the group's releases, as he joined the band after their only published recordings sessions had taken place." → "Although keyboardist Jordi Sabatés is often mentioned as a member of the band, he does not appear on any of the group's releases, having joined after their only published recording sessions had taken place."
Done
"Haakon Brenner and Vytas Brenner" → "Haakon and Vytas Brenner"
Done
"Jeanette—an English girl that had" → "Jeanette, an English girl who had"
Done
"EP" → "extended play"
Done
""Cállate niña,"" → ""Cállate niña"," per MOS:LQ
Done


### History
#### Origins at Brenner's Folk
"Haakon Brenner and Vytas Brenner" → "Haakon and Vytas Brenner"
Done
End first sentence after "Barangé", then say "Soler and Barangé had previously been part of Els Xerracs," and continue the sentence there
Done
"spent her childhood in Los Angeles, until her parents divorced in 1962 and she moved" → "spent her childhood in Los Angeles until her parents' 1962 divorce, at which point she moved"
Done
"featured a cover art"
Done
"EP" → "extended play (EP)"
Done
"what the genre consisted of" → "more about the genre" (don't end sentences in prepositions)
Done


#### Breakthrough with "Callate nina"
"Vytas and Haakon's family" → "the Brenner family"
Done
"Brenner's Folk's new formation" → "This new iteration of Brenner's Folk"
Done
""one of the most influential figures in Spanish music between 1965 and 1975."" → ""one of the most influential figures in Spanish music between 1965 and 1975"." per MOS:LQ
Done
""[resulted] from sophisticated orchestral arrangements and studio wizardy."" → "resulted from "sophisticated orchestral arrangements and studio wizardy"." per MOS:LQ
Done
"too much of a foreign name" → "too foreign of a name"
Done
"and Vytas and Haakon were no longer" → "and the eponymous Brenners were no longer"
Done
Italicize Tele Ritmo as the name of a television program
Done
""a most charming album, filled with sparkling, fresh lilting sounds."" → ""a most charming album, filled with sparkling, fresh lilting sounds"." per MOS:LQ
Done
Commas rather than em dashes around "starring Pili and Mili"
Done
Cut "Despite popular belief"
Done
""solos..."" → ""solos ..."" per MOS:ELLIPSIS
Done


#### Break-up and aftermath
Delink "school" per MOS:OVERLINK and MOS:EASTEREGG
Done
"missing a lot of class" → "frequently missing class"
Done
"fulfill her band obligations"
Done
""go to school..."" → ""go to school ...."" per MOS:ELLIPSIS
Done
"Despite the repercussion" → "Despite the success"
Done
"briefly tried to continue playing without her but were unsuccessful." → "briefly and unsuccessfully attempted to continue playing without her."
Done
"where they got married" → "where they wed"
Done


### Musical style
"transformed their folk ballads into something unique" → "transformed their original folk ballads into something more unique."
Done
No colon after "Pepe García Lloret described Pic-Nic's music as"
Done
"on the contrary" → "as a corollary"
Done
"Most of them" → "Most of these songs"
Done
Commas rather than em dashes around "a Jeanette composition based on the traditional lullaby "Hush, Little Baby""
Done


### Legacy
considered a mythical band both vague and POV; considered by whom?
See corrections
Considered uprecedented and ahead of its time by whom?
See corrections
""something never seen before, or since, in Spain."" → ""something never seen before, or since, in Spain"." per MOS:LQ
Done
"various indie pop artists"
Done
Efe Eme should be italicized as the name of a publication
Done
"number thirty-seven" → "number 37" per MOS:NUMERAL
Done
"number eighty-one" → "number 81" per MOS:NUMERAL
Done
Commas rather than em dashes around "a reissue subsidiary of Spanish label Munster Records"
Done
"number ninety-eight" → "number 98" per MOS:NUMERAL
Done
Commas rather than em dashes around "who has cited Jeannette as one of her biggest influences"
Done


### Discography
Good


### References
Good


### General comments
Images are fair use or CC and are relevant
Music samples are under 30 seconds and relevant
No stability concerns in the revision history
Copyvio score looks good, the only thing higher than 5.7% is from attributed direct quotes
Generally looks good – outside of some basic prose and MOS fixes, my biggest concern is in the Legacy section, where WP:WEASEL may apply, as claims are made generally about the band's status. Putting on hold now to allow nominator to address comments; feel free to ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished. — GhostRiver 18:11, 1 November 2021 (UTC)

GhostRiver thank you so much for taking a look at the article! Regarding the main issues in the "Legacy" section, please let me know if I've fixed them correctly. --🩸 𝗕𝗹𝗲𝗳𝗳 🩸  (talk) 19:01, 1 November 2021 (UTC)
So much better, thank you! Very happy to pass! — GhostRiver 19:24, 1 November 2021 (UTC)