# Talk:The Idolmaster Shiny Festa

This review is transcluded from Talk:The Idolmaster Shiny Festa/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: ProtoDrake (talk · contribs) 13:09, 13 December 2014 (UTC)

I've had no experience with the series at all. I'll take this on. Expect something in a day or two. --ProtoDrake (talk) 13:09, 13 December 2014 (UTC)


#### Review
Generally looks fine, but there are some minor points to be raised.

It has been stated in the text that the game received a remaster for PS3. I think the platform should be included in the infobox, as the only platforms there now are PSP and iOS.
 Done
"Like other games in the genre, the player plays the main portion of Shiny Festa '​s gameplay, Stage mode, as he or she listens to a selected song." I think the last section should be changed to "as they listen to a selected song."
I think I have to disagree with this one. I am not against using "they" as a singular pronoun, but "he or she" is more grammatically correct. -- クラウド６６８
I'll respect your judgement on that.
There appears to be a slight problem in the use of present and past-tense. In the first paragraph of the Development, the ease of play on the PSP is referred to in the first person. As this platform is/has been discontinued and the game is from 2012, I think past-tense would be better. In the third paragraph, there is a similar problem with the sentence "The PSP games' first printing also include a "backstage pass"". It needs to be changed to past-tense, I think.
 Done; rephrased the first one and changed to past tense for the second
A separate thing from the fourth paragraph of Development; "The mechanics of Shiny Festa was later ported to the PlayStation 3 as The Idolmaster Shiny TV..." - This is just a simple grammar matter: "mechanics" and "was" do not go together in that configuration. It should be "The mechanics of Shiny Festa were later ported".
 Done
Same problems with tense in the music section.
Could you point out instances of this? -- クラウド６６８
Actually, you can dismiss this point. I was forgetting it was a rhythm game at the time, and looked at from that angle, tense uses aren't a problem anymore. --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:24, 17 December 2014 (UTC)
Refs 1, 6 and 9 need their urls updating. They redirect to the right pages, but it's still a url format not used by the site.
 Done
Refs 11, 12 and 13 are Amazon Japan. Generally, I've been told that any Amazon site isn't to be used. Unless you have suitable grounds for using them, I would advise finding suitable alternatives.
I would agree with you here if the Amazon links are used for proposed release dates in the future, but I haven't found anything at WP:RS/N that's against using them for something as objective as past release dates. The reason why I added those in there in the first place is to provide sources in addition to the official site, which is a primary source. -- クラウド６６８
That's alright. I won't be overly picky now I know the specifics of use. --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:24, 17 December 2014 (UTC)
And that's it for now. --ProtoDrake (talk) 10:26, 16 December 2014 (UTC)

Thank you for the review; I was beginning to think this article wouldn't get reviewed until next year lol. I have made some edits to the article for some of these, while I have some doubts about the other ones. -- クラウド６６８ 03:48, 17 December 2014 (UTC)
Thank you for the prompt response. I'll rank this article as a Pass. --ProtoDrake (talk) 09:24, 17 December 2014 (UTC)
Thanks! -- クラウド６６８ 16:57, 17 December 2014 (UTC)