# Talk:Sam Coonrod

This review is transcluded from Talk:Sam Coonrod/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Go Phightins! (talk · contribs) 09:33, 22 April 2021 (UTC)
I'll take a stab at this in the next few days. Go Phightins! 09:33, 22 April 2021 (UTC)

Lede
Coonrod was born in St. Louis, Missouri, and was raised in Carrollton, Illinois. ----> Coonrod was born in St. Louis, Missouri and raised in Carrollton, Illinois. [unnecessary comma split]
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 16:32, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
He played baseball at Carrollton High School, including a state championship victory in his senior season, and was the first Carrollton baseball player to have his jersey retired.  ----> He played high school baseball at Carrollton High School, where he helped his team win a state championship his senior season and became the first player in school history to have his jersey number retired. [fixing misplaced modifier "including ..."]
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 16:32, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
 He also played in two collegiate summer baseball teams. ---->  He also played for (or on) two collegiate summer baseball teams [fix incorrect preposition]
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 16:32, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
Mentioning the Diamondbacks in the lede seems like extraneous detail to me?
 Done removed Kncny11 (shoot) 16:32, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
He struggled during the pandemic-shortened 2020 season, allowing 16 runs in fewer than 15 innings pitched. Obviously that's bad, but is there any way to contextualize that for a lay reader, either by including his ERA and linking to that article or by noting that he was worst in the NL (if he was) or the like?
 Done added ERA and changed wording to say more than one run per inning, which is clearly baaaad. Kncny11 (shoot) 16:32, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
Rather than mention who he was traded for in the lede, perhaps mention that he opened the 2021 season in the Phillies bullpen?
 Done wording might need to be tweaked Kncny11 (shoot) 16:32, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
Early life
Growing up, he was a fan of the St. Louis Cardinals of Major League Baseball (MLB), and would attend home games at Busch Stadium. ---> Growing up, he was a fan of the St. Louis Cardinals of Major League Baseball (MLB) and attended many of the team's home games at Busch Stadium. [fix the weird run on situation ... there's a name for it, but I can't think of what it is ... basically the second clause is not an independent one / can't stand on its own, so setting up a compound sentence like that doesn't quite work]
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 16:32, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
During his senior season in 2011, Coonrod posted an 11–0 record, including five no-hitters, a 1.35 ERA, and 113 strikeouts in 62 innings pitched, and was part of a Class 1A state championship-winning baseball team. Can you break that into two sentences, separating out the state championship? Also, probably don't need to mention Class 1A unless you're going to explain what that means?
 Done
Amateur career
First, is there a reason this isn't titled "college career" or "collegiate career"? Seems more natural since "amateur" could also imply a semi-pro league?
 Done I think it's because of the summer leagues Kncny11 (shoot) 16:32, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
I'm confused by the first sentence. Are the Southern Illinois Salukis and Southern Illinois University Carbondale of the same institution? (I think the answer is yes ... if so, could we rephrase to make that a little clearer?)
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 16:32, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
Coonrod played 18 games and 64 innings in his freshman season at SIU, posting a 3–5 record, a 4.64 ERA, and 54 strikeouts. I assume this is accurate that he played 64 innings, but perhaps it would be clearer to say he pitched 64 innings? (I don't know; sometimes college players pitch and play in the field, but if so, can we clarify that somehow?)
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 16:32, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
...going 2–1 with a 1.80 ERA in three games started, and striking out 18 batters in 20 innings pitched. No comma needed after "started"
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 16:32, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
His February 23, 2013 game against Jacksonville State was the first career start in which Coonrod did not strike out a single batter.[11] He made an appearance in the second game of the 2013 MVC Tournament, giving up three runs and taking the loss in SIU's 5–0 shutout loss against Indiana State. These facts both seem a little random / trivial to me, especially the first one. Is there any way to draw out a little more narrative about this season or, if not, maybe just omit these bits?
 Done added a performance that should tie the two together nicely Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
That summer, he played for the Yarmouth-Dennis Red Sox of the Cape Cod Baseball League, playing for the same coach as Joe Panik and Buster Posey. Meaning the same coach they had played for previously in Cape Cod? If so, please clarify.
 Done clarified Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
He pitched to a 2.87 ERA and 77 strikeouts .. The phrase "pitched to a ..." comes up several times, and I think in almost every case, "posted" would be better. Verbs that require prepositions that don't actually imply a relationship between two things just seem like rather clunky prose that can be easily improved.
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
Professional career
Same comment as before about "pitched to a ..."
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
Are there any narrative/qualitative assessments about him as a prospect that you could drop in during this section about his early minor league career? It's a little stats-heavy.
 Done to the best of my ability. It's difficult to find assessments about his early minor league career, as he tended to fly under the radar. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
He was called up to the Giants on May 26, 2019, and made his MLB debut the same day ... [No comma needed in between 2019 and "and"]
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
when he became the only player for both the Giants and the opposing Los Angeles Dodgers not to kneel during "The Star-Spangled Banner" ----> ... when he became the only player on either team not to kneel during "The Star Spangled Banner" before the Giants' game against the Los Angels Dodgers ... [i.e. lead with the important thing, put the details about teams later ... also, this was a league-wide movement, was it not? maybe worth mentioning too ...]
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
The "going to be talking to people" excerpt from the quote sounds a little more ominous than Kapler's quote seems to imply? The quote suggests that it is Coonrod who wanted to talk to people, not as if Kapler told him he needed to. Maybe rephrase a little?
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
On January 9, 2021, the Philadelphia Phillies acquired Coonrod from the Giants, in exchange for right-handed pitcher Carson Ragsdale. No comma needed between "Giants" and "in exchange."
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 16:32, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
made for "clear and obvious baseball reasons", and was ... [no comma needed after "reasons"]
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 16:32, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
Maybe mention the Phillies' spring training bullpen battle and how it never really seemed in doubt that he'd make the team?
 Done expanded a good deal. Apparently it was a battle at the end there Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
Pitcher profile
No objections, but maybe there's a quote somewhere of him describing his approach to pitching or some qualitative scouting report? I assume he's a power pitcher who racks up strikeouts and walks and such, but it might be nice to include that.
 Done expanded. Fast as hell but can't get in the zone Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
General comments
I've scoured the internet and can't find a single free photo of him. Grr. I have often wondered in situations like these whether writing to the Phillies media office and seeing if they'd release one into the public domain, but I've never tried it. Just thinking out loud ... certainly it doesn't stand between this article and the GA criteria.
Not a bad idea, actually! I worked in music journalism for a while, and if you asked a publicist for a press photo, they'd usually make one CC or fair use. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
Is there anything out there that could support a personal life section? I haven't checked the Phillies media guide, but I imagine it includes a few bits that could fill out a couple sentences. It's linked in the Knapp and Eflin articles if you have a chance to look at it, or I'll take a gander when I'm back at the computer sometime soon.
My supreme internet stalking skills found a wedding/engagement announcement, plus something about the offseason. Most of the "personal life" stuff ties back into the BLM controversy. Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
The Posey thing—if clarified—is a great DYK hook.
What's tricky with young players like this is that their careers are still evolving, so continued maintenance is required to keep meeting the GA criteria. In Coonrod's case, there just isn't a ton out there in terms of long profiles about him and the like, it doesn't appear. We can only write articles based on what exists, but that's just something to keep in mind as it was for the Brogdon article.
Overall, this seems to be in pretty good shape. I haven't checked the references yet, but I just wanted to pass along this first batch of comments to you, Kncny11. Nicely done, as usual. Go Phightins! 00:35, 23 April 2021 (UTC)
References
Please add a location for refs 2, 3, 6, 7, 10, and 17
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
No other citation concerns noted.
General comments
Article is generally well written, no copyvio concerns, and otherwise seems to meet the GA criteria once above items are addressed. I tend not to put these formally on hold, so just ping me when you're done. Thanks, Kncny11! Go Phightins! 16:24, 25 April 2021 (UTC)
Go Phightins! I think I've made all the changes! Kncny11 (shoot) 18:00, 30 April 2021 (UTC)
Looks good to me, Kncny11. Passing. Congrats! Go Phightins! 01:14, 1 May 2021 (UTC)