# Talk:Vault 101

This review is transcluded from Talk:Vault 101/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Nominator: PrimalMustelid (talk · contribs) 23:07, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 12:46, 21 June 2025 (UTC)

Comments to follow soon. ♦ JAGUAR  12:46, 21 June 2025 (UTC)

Lead
I feel the opening sentence is too long. It could be split or rephrased, though I'll leave it up to you
Split the sentence in two. PrimalMustelid (talk) 02:47, 23 June 2025 (UTC)
The second paragraph reads too long in my opinion; it could be split into two, with the reception aspect expanded
Split the second paragraph and expanded on the new one. PrimalMustelid (talk) 02:47, 23 June 2025 (UTC)
Body
"The first is during the vault's birthday party for the player's character becoming 10 years old" - the vault's birthday, or the player's? Either way, this could be condensed
Done. PrimalMustelid (talk) 02:47, 23 June 2025 (UTC)
"that is worn on the arm to serve as a radio and Geiger counter and a BB gun as a gift" - missing comma
Added commas. PrimalMustelid (talk) 02:47, 23 June 2025 (UTC)
"which questioned them on how they would confront hypothetical scenarios so that the player can select their additional abilities" - perhaps shorten to something like an aptitude test which cultivates the player's in-game abilities
Done. PrimalMustelid (talk) 02:47, 23 June 2025 (UTC)
"...until their escape made it one of the most memorable Vaults in the series"" - missing quotation mark?

Added missing quotation. PrimalMustelid (talk) 02:47, 23 June 2025 (UTC)
For the reception section, you can alternate introducing publications and writers through variations like ComicBook.com's Charlie Ridgely, or Ash Parish from The Verge
Added more variations of transitions. PrimalMustelid (talk) 02:47, 23 June 2025 (UTC)
"He compared "Vault 101" to living in a "dream state"" - why is Vault 101 quoted?
Removed. PrimalMustelid (talk) 02:47, 23 June 2025 (UTC)
"Another TheGamer writer Jade King" - missing commas
Added. PrimalMustelid (talk) 02:47, 23 June 2025 (UTC)
"He noted that the game, through options offered by the test administrator Edwin Brotch" - irrelevant
Removed. PrimalMustelid (talk) 02:47, 23 June 2025 (UTC)
"explained the role of Vault 101's role in the safety of the player character" - the player-character's safety
Changed. PrimalMustelid (talk) 02:47, 23 June 2025 (UTC)
Overall this is a decent article. Once all of the above are addressed it should meet the GA criteria. Will place on hold.  ♦ JAGUAR  13:16, 21 June 2025 (UTC)

Think that should address everything, but do let me know if I missed anything. 02:47, 23 June 2025 (UTC)
Thank you for the changes. It looks good to now.  Jaguar (talk) 08:51, 23 June 2025 (UTC)