# Talk:Other Minds: The Octopus, the Sea, and the Deep Origins of Consciousness

This review is transcluded from Talk:Other Minds: The Octopus, the Sea, and the Deep Origins of Consciousness/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: AryKun (talk · contribs) 13:57, 21 September 2021 (UTC)

Hey, will do this soon. AryKun (talk) 13:57, 21 September 2021 (UTC)
Many thanks for taking it on. I'm used to working with reviewers and can usually fix anything necessary very promptly. Chiswick Chap (talk) 14:02, 21 September 2021 (UTC)
I think you should remove the "the" before octopus and cuttlefish in the lead, because both of those terms refer to a large number of species.
Done.
You could add a couple more of the reactions to the book to the lead instead of just limiting it to the NYT review.
Done.
You could probably merge the context section into the book section as a subheader.
Done.
Maybe bold the 3 lineages in the tree instead of starring them, because that would look better.
Done.
"intelligent alien, but that "the minds of cephalopods are the most other of all."" Is the "but" appropriate here? Wouldn't an "and" be a better linker?
Done.
"book, as he dives in the shallow waters off Australia" → "from dives in the shallow waters off Australia in the book"
Reworded.
"Octopuses are, he notes, inquisitive, observant, even friendly" → "He notes that octopuses are inquisitive, observant, and even friendly"
Done. I see you don't like this construction!
"Intelligence is, Godfrey-Smith argues, predicated" → "Godfrey-Smith argues that intelligence is predicated"
Reworded; we're avoiding having all the paragraphs begin with "G-S..."
"Such capabilities, in Godfrey-Smith's view, are" →  "In Godfrey-Smith's view, such capabilities are"
Done.
Is the italicization of "other minds" necessary?
Removed.
Move the Octopus tetricus image up to the book section next to text that discusses Octopolis.
Moved.
Everything else is fine, so you just need to address the above issues. AryKun (talk) 06:49, 22 September 2021 (UTC)
AryKun: Thank you, all done to date. Chiswick Chap (talk) 09:23, 22 September 2021 (UTC)
@Chiswick Chap: I'm not the reviewer here, but the GAN is open for comments, so: can you more clearly cite where the  {{clade}}  diagram comes from? Psiĥedelisto (talk • contribs) please always ping! 23:03, 23 September 2021 (UTC)
Page ref added. Chiswick Chap (talk) 08:13, 24 September 2021 (UTC)
I think you should remove the "admits to a love affair with octopuses, having read Jacques-Yves Cousteau's 1973 Octopus and Squid: The Soft Intelligence" part, as it isn't really pertinent to the review of the book.
Removed.
@Chiswick Chap: This is pretty much all I could come up with, so the article is good to go as soon as you respond to the above suggestion. AryKun (talk) 06:03, 29 September 2021 (UTC)
AryKun, many thanks for the review. Chiswick Chap (talk) 09:23, 29 September 2021 (UTC)
No prob, it was fun to review it. AryKun (talk) 04:48, 30 September 2021 (UTC)