# Talk:Storming of Shelford House

This review is transcluded from Talk:Storming of Shelford House/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Zawed (talk · contribs) 09:11, 8 December 2021 (UTC)
I will take this one, comments to follow over next few days. Zawed (talk) 09:11, 8 December 2021 (UTC)
I made a few tweaks for minor clarity issues as I went through this, please check you are OK with my changes.
Lead

link Colonel-General
 Done
The Royalist garrison, owned by Philip Stanhope, 1st Earl of Chesterfield...: the wording here suggests that he owned the garrison, i.e. the military force, rather than the estate (which I assume is what you meant).
 Done
were killed in the resulting sack, commanded by: Suggest "were killed in the resulting sack by the Parliamentarian attacking party, commanded by...". Also suggest linking sack (Looting)
 Done with a minor tweak to phrasing
With the Royalist garrison having lost 80 per cent of its men, mostly the Catholics, killed,: the placement of ",killed" seems really clumsy, consider rephrasing
 Done - moved the word, does that work?
Background

Shelford was situated in Nottinghamshire, nine miles east...: suggest using the conversion template to show distances in km as well.
 Done
As part of these plans Henderson...: no explicit context for "plans". Suggest "As part of his plans for fortifications Henderson..."
 Done
Duke of Gloucester's Regiment of cavalry: is there a unit that could be linked here, or maybe the Duke himself?
 Done
 Sir Philip Stanhope. Stanhope...: suggest rephrasing to avoid the back-to-back usage of Stanhope.
 Done
was aware of Shelford's part played in Royalist attacks on his town: suggest "was aware of the role Shelford played as a staging post for Royalist attacks on his town"
 Done
link Colonel-General, Major, also Queen's Regiment of Horse (if a suitable link can be found)
 Done
Siege

Greatly outnumbered by the Royalist forces: can the number of Royalists be quantified? If so, maybe add to the previous paragraph referring to the remnants of King Charles's forces.
 Done - have adjusted the wording too
Attack

Fearing that delaying any more at Shelford: suggest "Fearing any further delay at Shelford"
 Done
with Hutchinson given direct command of it.: suggest "with Hutchinson given direct command of the attacking party."
 Done
Colonel Webb's force of Londoners...: this is first mention of Webb. Was he in command of the 1,000 cavalry from London (mentioned in first sentence of Siege section) - maybe mention him there, then drop the "Colonel" here.
I expect Webb was the commander of the London brigade, but no source explicitly says so. I can't provide any background for him apart from his position in the attack, so I've removed mention of him.
Hutchinson led...: this starts off a real long sentence, suggest breaking it up.
 Done - also rephrased content a little
Significance

Royalists or Parliamentarians during the Civil War to: Civil War is used earlier in the sentence, suggest replacing the quoted instance with "conflict"
 Done
Other stuff

Image tags check out OK
Dupe links: only one (sic) and in the context I think it is fine.
That's it for me, sorry for the delay in getting to this. Zawed (talk) 09:13, 14 December 2021 (UTC)

@Zawed: Hi, thanks for picking this up and apologies that I too was delayed! I have responded to all your comments above. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 13:57, 16 December 2021 (UTC)
This looks good for GA as I believe the article meets the necessary criteria in coverage, sourcing, structure, readability and supporting materials. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 11:01, 18 December 2021 (UTC)