# Talk:Tropical Storm Fern

JTWC BT
ATCR
JMA BT
IBTRACS
FSM press 1
FEMA
Newspaper 1
Newspaper 2
FSM press 2
FSM press 3

This review is transcluded from Talk:Tropical Storm Fern (1996)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 02:28, 1 October 2014 (UTC)

" began to have deep convection" - "have" --> "produce"
Switched.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"sheared by a shear line" - is redundant
Removed.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"weakened back to a tropical storm" - since JMA is official, it was never officially a typhoon, therefore it couldn't weak back to a tropical storm
Better?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"A cargo ship was abandoned after it was damaged by high winds." - was this on Yap? If so, you should mention that. If not, then the subsequent sentence should clarify it's Yap.
Added a word.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"and JMA began tracking it at 0000 UTC" - you should add "as a tropical depression" here
Done.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"westernly" - is not a word
Not sure why spellcheck isn't highlighting this.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"The storm received the name Fern." - this is a short, dumpy sentence that I'm sure could be merged into the previous or subsequent one.
Merged to previous sentence.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"Eighteen hours later" - when you start a new paragraph, you should always indicate what the date is
Better?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"JMA continued to keep the same strength at that time." - same strength as what?
Added the category.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"Fern reached its peak at 140 km/h (90 mph) north of Yap, according to JTWC" - why is this inconsistent with the infobox?
...I don't know. I'll check why later.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
@Hurricanehink: I gave up on trying to fix it. For the infobox, 150 km/h rounds up to 95 mph, not 90.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
Should I just hardcode this in?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"975 millibars" - convert to hPa
Converted all pressures.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"On the next day, JTWC downgraded Fern back to tropical storm strength, with winds of 110 km/h (70 mph).[4] At the same time, the storm had weakened to 80 km/h (50 mph)" - how is this possible?
Derp. Fixed.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
Why did the storm move the way it did?
Added a bit more, not sure if enough though.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
What allowed Fern to strengthen initially?
@Hurricanehink: The ATCR doesn't say anything about strengthening initially. It only says "Reaching peak intensity after turning northward is a common behavior in TCs in north-oriented patterns." Would that count?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
Yea, maybe mention something like that. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:16, 21 October 2014 (UTC)
Done?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"Yap was directly hit by Fern on Christmas Day, and about $3 million (1996 USD) of damage was caused." - try rewriting in active voice
Better?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"The island constantly received gusts around 93 km/h (58 mph)." - constantly? For how long? And why this very specific reading
Fixed?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
'costing half of the damage" - use "accounting for" instead of "costing"
Changed.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
"On January 15, 1997, a state of emergency was declared for Yap by Acting President Jacob Nena" - this is false according to the ref, which says it happened on the 3rd
Fixed.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
That's it for now. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  02:28, 1 October 2014 (UTC)

So far so good for the fixes. Lemme know when you're done with them. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  15:35, 3 October 2014 (UTC)
I just read the ATCR for myself. How come you didn't include that the storm was a twin with a storm in the SHEM? You should also say it formed from the monsoon trough. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  04:16, 21 October 2014 (UTC)

I added it.—CycloneIsaac (Talk) 17:35, 21 October 2014 (UTC)