# Talk:Pokey Allen

This review is transcluded from Talk:Pokey Allen/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Kaiser matias (talk · contribs) 02:09, 8 July 2017 (UTC)

In the lead, clarify the football; either say "American and Canadian football," or just "gridiron football."
 Done ~ Rob13Talk 15:55, 30 July 2017 (UTC)
Lead could also be expanded, perhaps noting played briefly and then served as an assistant and DC for several years before noting his specific head coaching positions.
 Done I've gone a bit vague, just saying he held assistant and position coaching positions. (The defensive coordinator is also considered an assistant coach.) ~ Rob13Talk 15:55, 30 July 2017 (UTC)
"As a quarterback and cornerback in his senior season in 1964..." This is the only mention of what position he played during college. Was it the same for his first few years as well, or did he play a different position? Needs to be clarified.
Did he stay as a QB and CB in the CFL? I'm not the most familiar with football, but would think he would have only done one, so it should be clarified.
Mostly as a defensive back, although he did spend some time as a backup QB apparently. I see no evidence he was used as a QB in games, so I'll focus on his defensive role.  Done ~ Rob13Talk 17:53, 2 August 2017 (UTC)
Note after British Columbia Lions the abbreviation "BC Lions," as its both used in the infobox, the more common name of the team (at least in Canada), and BC is used later in the article. As a BC native, feel I should say its funny to see the team referred like that, as it is never done; always just the BC Lions.
You're right, that's never done; I replaced British Columbia Lions with BC Lions instead.  Done ~ Rob13Talk 17:54, 2 August 2017 (UTC)
"He retired from his playing career before the 1968 season began." Can just say "He retired prior to the 1968 season."
 Done ~ Rob13Talk 17:54, 2 August 2017 (UTC)
"Allen coached the Vikings..." Clarify the Vikings is the name for Portland State. Easy way to do that would be in the previous sentence: "he became the coach for the Portland State University Vikings" or something like that.
 Done ~ Rob13Talk 17:55, 2 August 2017 (UTC)
Is there any information about his life outside of football? Like family or anything like that? Would be prudent to add if so.
That's about all I can see with the article. Once addressed I'll go through it again and see, but should be good then. Kaiser matias (talk) 02:09, 8 July 2017 (UTC)

I have two more comments to address, both of which will require a bit of research. I'll have to respond to those in about a week and a half, since I have some life-impacting exams approaching. ~ Rob13Talk 17:56, 2 August 2017 (UTC)
Not a problem, life-impacting exams are far more important. And considering I just took a month to address my own GAC, I can't exactly hold you to a time-limit. Just send me a message when you get it done, there's no rush, and I'd rather it be done slow and well, than fast and poorly. Kaiser matias (talk) 11:56, 5 August 2017 (UTC)
It's been two months since anything has gone on here, and while I'm reluctant to fail it, if there's no active effort to improve it then it's just taking up a spot on the GAC list. If they get addressed it can be re-added, and more than likely passed quickly. Kaiser matias (talk) 09:29, 10 October 2017 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Pokey Allen/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Kaiser matias (talk · contribs) 02:03, 6 January 2018 (UTC)

Some minor comments:

"compiling a career college football record of 87–41–2 (.677)." Add a note to denote what the numbers mean; I'd suggest using <abbr title="A mouseover">
 Done ~ Rob13Talk 15:14, 6 January 2018 (UTC)
Add a note about his cancer to the lead, as it is fairly important to his life. Just a simple sentence like "Allen was diagnosed with cancer in 1994, and coached until shortly before his death until 1996," or something.
 Done ~ Rob13Talk 15:14, 6 January 2018 (UTC)
"Allen became an assistant coach in 1968 at Simon Fraser." Add "University" to the end there to clarify what Simon Fraser is.
 Done ~ Rob13Talk 15:14, 6 January 2018 (UTC)
"he was named co-coach of the team." Who did he co-coach with?
 Done (And Bob DeJulius probably needs an article) ~ Rob13Talk 15:14, 6 January 2018 (UTC)
"the USFL, a newly formed professional league which played its games in the spring." Add "unlike the NFL, which played in the fall and winter," to clarify why that is important, or even broaden it to include college football as well.
I added “during the NFL offseason”, which I think sounds a bit better but conveys the same point. ~ Rob13Talk 19:54, 6 January 2018 (UTC)
The Portland State section should include his coaching record there, as it doesn't mention his overall wins-losses.
 Done ~ Rob13Talk 02:21, 7 January 2018 (UTC)
"Allen had a reputation for publicity stunts;" as it was already noted that Allen did stunts with Portland State, perhaps reword it to "Allen maintained his reputation for publicity stunts while at Boise State."
 Done ~ Rob13Talk 19:58, 6 January 2018 (UTC)
Personal life section: Is there any mention of his wife's name, or anything else?
Not that I could find, unfortunately. A coach’s family usually isn’t subject to a lot of press, and I didn’t see anything much about them in what I have access to. I’ll look again tonight just in case I missed anything. ~ Rob13Talk 19:58, 6 January 2018 (UTC)
Overall it's good, like it was last time I reviewed it. Just a few things to clear up and then it should be good to go. Kaiser matias (talk) 02:03, 6 January 2018 (UTC)

Looking good. Just add the record for Portland State, and I'll give you time to take a look about his family, but I understand if nothing comes up, it won't hurt the promotion. Kaiser matias (talk) 02:17, 7 January 2018 (UTC)
No luck finding any further family stuff, unfortunately. ~ Rob13Talk 08:43, 8 January 2018 (UTC)
Yeah I didn't think there would be. A shame, but it can't be held against the article. Going to pass it then. Kaiser matias (talk) 08:53, 8 January 2018 (UTC)