# Talk:Richard Hutton Davies

This empty link should probably point to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hurstpierpoint_College , but I can't be sure. Perhaps someone with more local knowledge might take a look.  Old Aylesburian (talk) 13:19, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

That looks almost certain to be it - I've redirected the page and added the appropriate former-pupil catetegory. There's a few other examples of this shift with schools (Name College, Place turning into Place College), so I should have thought to look! Thanks. Shimgray | talk | 13:41, 23 December 2008 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Richard Hutton Davies/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Ironholds (talk) 19:16, 20 June 2010 (UTC)

"He was born in London" - "Davies was born in London"
"After leaving school, he emigrated to New Zealand, and after " - "after" twice.
successive "First World War" not linked.
"was elected in February 1897 as a member " - "in February 1897 was elected a member"
"Harbour Board representing" - "Harbour Board, representing"
"On 3 October 1899 he" - "On 3 October 1899 Davies"
"but was shortly thereafter seconded to" - ". Shortly thereafter, he was seconded to..."
Generally, too much use of "He" and not enough of "Davies"; it's nice to break it up.
"returned home to command the Auckland Military District, but returned to South Africa " - "returned" twice, capitalise the succeeding "colonel" and link brevet for those unaware of military terminology.
Ranks consistified - all now lowercase unless used as part of a name.
"mentioned in despatches" - linked twice.
You might want to mention his lectures; "Universal military training to protect New Zealand", written as part of the Public Sub-Committee for Universal Military Training, for example. Ironholds (talk) 19:16, 20 June 2010 (UTC)
All done (pretty much) as requested. I'll have a look at expanding his involvement with the military training movement (etc). Need to find some decent sources on early NZ military history, though. Shimgray | talk | 22:32, 28 June 2010 (UTC)
...and done, after an interlude! Shimgray | talk | 00:36, 22 July 2010 (UTC)