# Talk:Typhoon Mary (1960)

1960 ATCR
The Troy Record
Terry Haute Star (6/10)
Terry Haute Star (6/13)
Titusville Herald
Toledo Blade
The Victoria Advocate
HKO damage report
HKO Summary
IBTRACS

This review is transcluded from Talk:Typhoon Mary (1960)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 22:59, 30 July 2015 (UTC)

Link South China Sea
Done.
"It slowly moved across the sea, strengthening slowly to a typhoon. " - don't say "slowly" twice
Removed one.
"1,600 people died across the country" - that doesn't match the infobox. You should make it so you can read the lead and know it fits perfectly in line with the infobox (meaning you should include other deaths like the fishermen)
Better? Or do you want to go exact?
"and a large amount of land near the storm was destroyed" - what does that mean?
err...farmland.
"by the warning center" - any reason you don't just say "JTWC" the second time you say "the warning center"? It could be confusing for those who forget there is a difference between JTWC and JMA
Changed.
"Pressure reading for Mary dropped to 999 hPa (29.5 inHg), according to JMA." - is this important/needed? This is only an estimate, after all, and it's not like it was the lowest pressure. Ditto for the next pressure estimate of 985
Removed.
"At 0600 UTC, Mary quickly strengthened to a typhoon, with winds up to 130 km/h (81 mph). " - 0600 UTC on what day? And why isn't 81 mph rounded?
Added.
"Mary peaked at 0600 UTC on June 8, just offshore of Hong Kong. The typhoon had winds of 150 km/h (90 mph)" - merge these short sentences
Merged.
You might want to clarify where the New Territories are
Done.
When you mention wall cloud, you might want to say instead eyewall or something. Most weather nerds associate wall cloud with tornadoes.
Changed.
When did the JMA track Mary until?
Added.
Source for File:Typhoon Mary in 1960.png?
I wish I knew.
"dropping 14.12 inches (35.9 cm) of rain in 24 hours" - make sure the entire article uses metric units first.
Fixed.
"Average gusts were reported at 65 knots (120 km/h) on Waglan Island, with 105 knots (194 km/h) at times. " - the WPTC generally does not use knots. Use km/h first with knots in parenthesis.
Changed; never knew that.
"more than fifty fishing vessels " - for numbers over 10, just write the number, don't spell it
Fixed.
" Although the floods have caused extreme damage, it helped with the local shortage of water, which the reservoirs gained three billion US gallons (11,000,000 kl) of water." - grammar isn't quite right here
Better?
"462 total small crafts" - I don't get this. Is "total small craft" a term? Or do you mean "Overall, 462 small crafts" or something?
The latter.
"Dikes and dams were severely damaged, and thousands of people were fixing it as the storm passed by" - this is the problem of using passive voice. Were the dikes and dams damaged before the storm, and people fixed them during the storm? Or the storm damaged the dikes, and people tried fixing them immediately amid the bad weather?
During the storm.
"The total damage was reportedly 1,600 casualties" - people don't count as damage
Fixed?
"160 miles (260 km) southeast of Hong Kong" - don't start a paragraph with a number
Added a word.
You should say the Matsu Islands are east of Mainland China, or between China and Japan. Just saying those islands without any context isn't terribly useful.
Done.
All in all a nice little article for an older storm. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  22:59, 30 July 2015 (UTC)

@Hurricanehink: I think I fixed all issues.—CycloneIsaac (Talk) 04:59, 1 August 2015 (UTC)
The last thing is some minor formatting. I misspoke before. Make sure there aren't knots in the article. Have km/h with mph in parenthesis. Also, make sure litres are before gallons. Still not sure about the dams. Were they damaged before the storm? Why would it matter that people fix them during the storm? That part isn't clear. Hurricanehink mobile (talk) 14:51, 3 August 2015 (UTC)