# Talk:Typhoon Brian (1989)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Typhoon Brian (1989)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 02:40, 25 April 2012 (UTC)

In the opening line, where in the series was Brian?
First. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
The second sentence should say when it became a TS
Added Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
The last two sentences in the first lede paragraph have similar structures. Could you avoid the [Gerund clause, "the storm [verb]"... before] format.
Reworded Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
So the ridge weakened and re-intensified on September 30th?
Yup Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
Somewhere you should indicate whether JTWC winds were 1-min or 10-min.
added it into the parentheses Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:33, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
When did Brian strike Vietnam? The wording is ambiguous whether the 3rd or 4th. An exact time would be good, since landfalls are important.
Clarified Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:46, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
Similar to problem in lede, avoid two paragraphs starting with "Striking"
Reworded Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:46, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
were "soaked." - why the quotes? Who said it? And why is it important?
I don't know why I quoted it to be honest.... Removed the quotes. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:46, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
"In light of the widespread damage caused by the storms" - I'd hardly say it was "In light" of something. "Because of" would be a much better phrase, IMO.
Changed to "Because of" Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:46, 27 April 2012 (UTC)
The article is decent. Some sentences are a little clunky, and many could be combined, but I won't be that anal. Fix these and I'll be happy to pass. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  18:04, 25 April 2012 (UTC)