# Talk:The Birthday Party (song)

This review is transcluded from Talk:The Birthday Party (song)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 19:44, 29 January 2021 (UTC)

After the amazing response from you to the last couple reviews I delivered, I will take this on! --K. Peake 19:44, 29 January 2021 (UTC)

@Kyle Peake: Brilliant stuff, thank you! Giacobbe talk 21:13, 29 January 2021 (UTC)


### Infobox and lead
Replace hlist with bullet points per Template:Infobox song  Done
"on 19 February 2020 through" → "on 19 February 2020 by"  Done
"It features contributions from" → "Contributions are featured from"  Done
You should write out about the roles of Reynold and Ross in composition, as info in the lead about comp should be written in the section  Done
Remove wikilink on California  Done
Wikilink lead single  Done
Target ballad to Sentimental ballad  Done
Remove "plucked" since that part is not notable for the lead  Done
"In addition to folk and country music," → "In addition to the main genres,"  Done
"incorporates elements from of" → "incorporates elements of"  Done
Where is the "continuous" part of the following sentence mentioned?  Done
"deeming it an album highlight." → "deeming it a highlight of Notes on a Conditional Form."  Done
The term "however" should not start the negative reception sentence, as the reviews being mixed makes this contrast to positive reviews expected  Done
"Commercially, the single achieved" → "Commercially, the song achieved"  Done
"on the UK Singles Chart, and" → "on the UK Singles Chart and"  Done
"A computer animated music video," → "An accompanying computer animated music video,"  Done
"The video was well-received" → "The visual was well-received"  Done
"including it in" → "including it on"  Done


### Background and release
"and later for 24 April 2020." → "and later for 24 April."  Done
"early music recorded under the monicker" → "earlier music recorded under the monicker of"  Done
"Daniel also noted inspiration" → "The members also noted inspiration" since it was Healy who mentioned Elliot Smith but they both mentioned Bright Eyes  Done
Wikilink emo  Done
Wikilink folk here per MOS:LINKSTYLE  Done
"in between"." → "in between."" since that is the end of the full sentences quoted  Done
"was the first track the band" → "was the album's first track the 1975"  Done
"It was originally" → "The song was originally"  Done
Target first single to Lead single  Done
Wikilink Twitter  Done
Target "People" to People (The 1975 song) on the first mention instead  Done
Target single to Single (music)  Done


### Recording
Img looks good!
Remove wikilink on California  Done
Wikilink acoustic guitar  Done
"followed by Daniel layering" → "followed by Daniel's layering  Done
"different pitches at different speeds." → "different pitches at varying speeds." with the target  Done
"mid, and late" → "mid and late", as this article is in British English  Done
"saying he had to" → "with Healy saying he had to"  Done
The words "now" and "career" should be italicised like they are in the quote  Done
Wikilink relapsed  Done
"but the band chose" → "but the 1975 chose"  Done
Target distorted to Distortion (music)  Done
"all of them. The band dismissed the chorus idea, and chose" → "all of them, going on to dismiss the chorus idea and chose" to stop having a sentence that is too short  Done
Target brass to Brass instrument  Done
"they wanted to" → "the 1975 wanted to"  Done
"but later decided it" what are you referring to here? If it is "the lyrics", then reword to that.  Done


### Composition
Retitle to Composition and lyrics  Done
The audio sample is incorrectly named and target structure to Song structure plus wikilink stream of consciousness  Done
""The Birthday Party" is an" → "Musically, "The Birthday Party" is an"  Done
Remove wikilink on folk  Done
Target ballad to Sentimental ballad  Done
The folk genre is not sourced unless I missed something, neither is the length  Done
Wikilink sheet music  Done
Remove wikilink on common time  Done
"of A♭3 to B♭4." → "of A♭3 and B♭4."  Done
"It contains elements" → "The song contains elements"  Done
[27][19] should be put in numerical order  Done
[30] is useless, not offering any mention of the song
See point below. Giacobbe talk 20:31, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
The spoken word, stream of consciousness and characteristically found in country music parts are all not backed up; add the appropriate source(s)
They are: "A foot-scuffing stream-of-consciousness" + "a drowsy acoustic song with some of the conversational spoken-word touches found in many threads of modern country music.." Giacobbe talk 20:31, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
"Kyle Kohner of" → "while Kyle Kohner of"  Done
"while his colleague" → "while fellow Stereogum writer"  Done
"and recounts a series" → "recounting a series"  Done
[19][16] put in numerical order  Done
The codependent friendships part is not sourced and if it's part of the challenges, remove the comma  Done
"the song saw" → "the song sees"  Done
"intimacy, sociality, and" → "intimacy, sociality and"  Done
"he's self-aware"." → "he's self-aware."" per MOS:QUOTE  Done
The img should be at the start of the second para instead  Done
[37][16] put in numerical order  Done
"a man named Greg," → "a friend named Greg," for proper identification  Done
[16] offers no mention of the lyrics being from Greg; add [25] after it for the one at the end of the second sentence  Done
The "saying he is faithful to his "missus"" is not mentioned by any of the sources  Done
"("Then drink your kombucha" → "("Drink your kombucha" since that is what the source really starts the quote with
Added in source of lyric from album booklet. Giacobbe talk 20:51, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
The later part of the above sentence is unsourced
See point above. Giacobbe talk 20:51, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
Remove wikilink on relapse  Done
"as it seems"." → "as it seems."" since that is a full quote and change to being one line as the source presents it rather than separated with slash  Done
Added in source of lyric from album booklet for slash. Giacobbe talk 20:51, 30 January 2021 (UTC)


### Critical reception
"received a mixed response" → "was met with a mixed response"  Done
[40] is not useful since the quote about not receiving the best reception is unspecific and the section backs up the mixed reviews claim
I agree with you. However, I've run into situations where reviewers will not allow (also here and here) summarization of reviews ("generally positive reviews", "mixed", etc.) unless a source supports it. You can see my opinion on this here, which agrees with what you just said. If you'd like me to remove it, I will, but I'd like your opinion on this. Giacobbe talk 21:11, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
I agree with what you said in the discussion; WP:SYNTH is not really applicable for musical reception, also I removed this for you since it's the only pending change and this is the morning later. --K. Peake 06:28, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
"called extolled the upbeat," → "praised the song's upbeat,"  Done
"the sixteenth best song" → "the 16th best song" per MOS:NUM  Done
"Ben Boddez of the Vancouver Weekly deemed it" → "Boddez deemed it"  Done
"Boddez praised the" → "He praised the"  Done
Remove wikilink on "Frail State of Mind"  Done
"humorous lyrics, and" → "humorous lyrics and"  Done
Insider should be italicised and targeted to Insider (website) per MOS:LINK2SECT  Done
"praised the band for" → "praised the 1975 for"  Done
"to do it"." → "to do it.""  Done
"saying it gave" → "saying it gives"  Done
"noting they provided" → "noting they provide"  Done
"listened closely to the lyrics, saying it was" → "listen closely to the lyrics, saying it is"  Done
"Leas called it a" → "Leas called the song a"  Done
"saying it contained" → "saying it contains"  Done
"Schrodt called it" → "Schrodt called the song"  Done
Remove target on Paste  Done
"and said the band failed to" → "and noted the 1975 failing to"  Done
"deemed it a" → "deemed the line a"
The reviewer was referring to the entire song. Reworded. Giacobbe talk 21:11, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
"of [leaves it]"." → "of [leaves it].""  Done
"contained topics which deserved" → "contain topics which deserve"  Done
"saying it was an attempt to" → "labelling it an attempt to"  Done


### Music video
#### Background and release
Img looks good!
Remove wikilink on music video  Done
"with The 1975" → "with [t]he 1975" to fix MOS:THEMUSIC error with the quote  Done
"and multilayered narrative"." → "and multilayered narrative."" per MOS:QUOTE  Done
"this impact and showcase" → "the impact and showcased"  Done
Wikilink motion capture  Done
"for the masses"." → "for the masses."" since you are treating this as having started the full sentence with the ellipsis  Done
"press and booking emails," → "directions to press and booking emails,"  Done
"also created, and Healy" → "also created and Healy"  Done
"Instagram captioned "MIND SHOWER"." → "Instagram captioned, "MIND SHOWER."" with the wikilink  Done
reLeased → released  Done


#### Synopsis
It is backed up that the opening is reminiscent of the Care Bears, but not that it is a title card
""Is that the Care Bears title sequence?"" Giacobbe talk 21:32, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
The neon, EPs, self-titled album and I Like It When You Sleep, for You Are So Beautiful yet So Unaware of It parts are not sourced
Should I just put "the box"? Because this is "the box" referred to and cited in this source. Giacobbe talk 21:32, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
"He encounters a" → "Healy encounters a"  Done
Picardía is not sourced as the illustration's name  Done
"Healy is then" → "He is then"  Done
"on giant mushrooms." → "on a giant mushroom."  Done
[57][56][58] put in numerical order  Done
Manson is not sourced as the character from the series  Done
The "visits a pond in the forest" part is not backed up, though the remainder of the sentence is
I need a source to prove that a pond is a pond? Strange, but okay.  Done Giacobbe talk 21:42, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
Wait do the other three sources show a picture of the pond or something else I missed? If yes, then remove the YT source. --K. Peake 22:12, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
Yeah, the NY Mag one (I believe is now ref 58?... I think) has a picture of him falling into the pond (just above pp. 14)! No worries! Giacobbe talk 00:22, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
"of the 1975, are" → "of the 1975 are"  Done
"shown, and the remaining" → "shown and the remaining"  Done
The hate symbol part is sourced, but the Anti-Defamation League being the ones who labelled it as such is not
It is: "Originally a mascot for McDonald’s in the 1980s, Moon Man has been labelled as a hate symbol by international Jewish non-governmental organisation the Anti-Defamation League." Giacobbe talk 21:43, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
[57][56][58] put in numerical order  Done


#### Critical reception
"of the Alternative Press called it" → "of Alternative Press called the music video"  Done
"of internet subcultures"." → "of internet subcultures.""  Done
"DIY said the visuals were surreal" → "DIY said the visual is surreal"  Done
"included "The Birthday Party" in" → "included the video on"  Done
"called it" → "called the music video"  Done
"served as a commentary" → "serves as a commentary"  Done
"was a commentary" → "is a commentary"  Done


### Credits and personnel
Good


### Charts
See MOS:TABLECAPTION  Done


### References
Copyvio score looks somewhat high at 48.5%; cut the quoting from Associated Press to fix this
I'm not sure why Associated Press would be high, it was never cited in the article. There may be an issue as I can't access the link. Giacobbe talk 21:55, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
Got it working now! Copyvio score down to 39.4% Giacobbe talk 23:55, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
Amazing job with the archives here!
Thank you! Giacobbe talk 21:55, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
WP:OVERLINK of BrooklynVegan on ref 17  Done
WP:OVERLINK of Stereogum on ref 29  Done
Cite Insider as work/website instead for ref 43 and target to Insider (website) per MOS:LINK2SECT  Done
WP:OVERLINK of Paste on ref 48  Done
WP:OVERLINK of Rolling Stone on ref 52  Done
Remove or replace ref 53 per discussion
I read the discussion. Doesn't appear there was a formalized consensus, but it looks like the majority have said "used sparingly". Also, the original editor's argument is that it is biased because it is owned by Universal. Its use in this article is about background information on the making of the music video, not a critical assessment of it. I'll look for another source, but if one can't be found, it should be fine to keep it! Giacobbe talk 22:07, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
Update: I was able to find info about Mimic productions from this interview with Ditto over at Dezeen, but nothing about about the specifics on the motion capture like on uDiscover. Honestly, in the context of this article I believe that the ref is okay, since it isn't used to provide a biased review, just production details. Giacobbe talk 00:31, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
WP:OVERLINK of Dazed on ref 54  Done


### External links
Good


### Final comments and verdict
 On hold until all of the issues are fixed; not sure if you will be able to get everything done today since this review has been completed in the evening, but at least it will probably become a GA by tomorrow which is not far at all! --K. Peake 18:51, 30 January 2021 (UTC)
@Kyle Peake: I believe I've addressed all of your comments. Is there anything that I've missed? Giacobbe talk 00:33, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
(CA)Giacobbe I responded to your point in reception, but everything else was already done.  Pass! --K. Peake 06:28, 31 January 2021 (UTC)
@Kyle Peake: Awesome! Great way to start the day! Thank you for another amazing review. Cheers! :) Giacobbe talk 13:11, 31 January 2021 (UTC)