# Talk:William de Blois (bishop of Lincoln)

This review is transcluded from Talk:William de Blois/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Ironholds (talk) 13:32, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

"He first served Hugh du Puiset, the Bishop of Durham, then later served Hugh of Avalon" - served as/doing what?
I've put in "in the household" in both for the lead, the body gives a bit more detail. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:42, 17 February 2010 (UTC)
link "episcopate".
done Ealdgyth - Talk 15:42, 17 February 2010 (UTC)
"Possibly related to Hugh de Puiset the bishop of Durham, who he went on to serve later in life,[1] Blois probably came from Blois in France,[1] His relationship with Puiset reinforces the likelihood of his origins being in Blois, as Puiset was a nephew of King Stephen of England and Stephen's brother Henry of Blois, the Bishop of Winchester, both of whom came from Blois" - divide into two sentences. I'd suggest "Possibly related to Hugh de Puiset, the Bishop of Durham, who he went on to serve later in life,[1] Blois probably came from Blois in France.[1] His relationship with Puiset reinforces the likelihood of his origins being in Blois, as Puiset was a nephew of King Stephen of England and Stephen's brother Henry of Blois, the Bishop of Winchester, both of whom came from Blois"
done Ealdgyth - Talk 15:42, 17 February 2010 (UTC)
"Blois frequently was a witness " - "Blois was frequently a witness"
done. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:42, 17 February 2010 (UTC)
"Blois had moved to the household of Hugh of Avalon" - link Hugh of Avalon
He's linked in the lead, which is just two paragraphs above. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:42, 17 February 2010 (UTC)
"he served Pope Innocent III as well" - "he also served Pope Innocent III"
done Ealdgyth - Talk 15:42, 17 February 2010 (UTC)