# Talk:Seymour H. Knox I

The controversy over the date of the second store is not too surprising to me.  After having visited Hawaii, I imagine if a historian looks back on ABC Stores (Hawaii) even 50 years after the first store and tried to figure out what was opened when looking at non computerized records it might be a nightmare.

Hi. Hopefully theses comments might help you to improve your article:

That picture of Knox with the Woolworths could be placed somewhere else
Perhaps the "Family" and "Upbringing" could be merged as "Early life" an be placed before the "Five and Dime Stores" section; the paragraph about his wife could be placed in this last section, with some re-wording.
September 20, 1884, as a full date, can be wikilinked
The Post Woolworth Career section is quite small, so it could be included as a subsection of "Five and Dime Stores"
I am certain that sooner or later a more experienced user will give you some more suggestions. Dalobuca 17:16, 15 April 2007 (UTC)

See What is a good article? for explanation of terms below.

GA review (see here for criteria)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):  b (MoS): 
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
a (fair representation):  b (all significant views): 
It is stable.

It contains images, where possible, to illustrate the topic.
a (tagged and captioned):  b lack of images (does not in itself exclude GA):  c (non-free images have fair use rationales): 
Overall:
a Pass/Fail: 
Many of my comments agree with those made by Dalobuca above.

1b - Group some of the shorter sections together; reorder sections into chronological order - eg. Upbringing before Five and Dime Stores. Integrate trivia section into text; if you cannot integrate it, remove it as non-notable.
2a - Please reference section on his wife and interests.
3b - Remove or integrate trivia section as above.
Also,

Wikify dates
Move image at the top elsewhere, perhaps to family/upbringing section
Some minor changes to grammar, spelling: clarify first 'trivia' statement (f you have not removed it; perhaps change use of 'friendly rivals' - doesn't read well
--ck lostsword|queta!|Suggestions? 09:17, 16 April 2007 (UTC)

Much better. Definitely a Good Article! ck lostsword|queta!|Suggestions? 16:32, 17 April 2007 (UTC)

 In order to uphold the quality of Wikipedia:Good articles, all articles listed as Good articles are being reviewed against the GA criteria as part of the GA project quality task force. While all the hard work that has gone into this article is appreciated, unfortunately, as of 
November 26, 
2007, this article fails to satisfy the criteria, as detailed below. For that reason, the article has been delisted from WP:GA. However, if improvements are made bringing the article up to standards, the article may be nominated at WP:GAN. If you feel this decision has been made in error, you may seek remediation at WP:GAR. Ruslik (talk) 10:56, 26 November 2007 (UTC)
The reasons:
The article neeeds careful reading, clean-up and copy-edit. I fixed some problems, but unfortunatly have no time to finish this job. I will provide several examples. The first paragraph in 'Family and Early life' section states: "James' grandfather had fought in the American Revolution. William Knox, came to Massachusetts from Belfast, Ireland, in 1737.". It is not clear who William Knox is. Is he James' grandfather who fought in the revolution? The last paragraph states that his wife established a fund in 1916, then goes on claiming that they married in 1890. Is it logical? The article should say that they married in 1890 then had children and that later in her life his wife established a fund. The name of this section should be changed, because the section has information not only about his early life.
The last subsection 'Post Woolworth Career' is also strange. It has little information about Knox's post Wolworth career, but states that he "Knox bred champion trotters and pacers and was a polo enthusiast." A reader can only guess, when he became trotters breeder and a polo enthusiast: after he bought Marine National or before?
My general impression of this article is that it is chaotically written. This should be fixed before article can be renominated. Ruslik (talk) 10:56, 26 November 2007 (UTC)

This article's Good Article promotion has been put on hold. During review, some issues were discovered that can be resolved without a major re-write.  This is how the article, as of November 27, 2007, compares against the  six good article criteria:

1. Well written?: See notes below.
2. Factually accurate?: Yes, but see notes below
3. Broad in coverage?: Good enough
4. Neutral point of view?: No problems
5. Article stability? Yes
6. Images?: OK
Please address these matters soon and then leave a note here showing how they have been resolved.  After 48 hours the article should be reviewed again.  If these issues are not addressed within 7 days, the article may be failed without further notice.  Thank you for your work so far.— Ruslik (talk) 10:13, 27 November 2007 (UTC)
There are a few issues that need to be addressed.
1) What is the name of James' grandfather? Is he the same person as William Knox (see delisting comments)? If not the name should be provided.

The source merely says that the grandfather was a American Revolutionary War veteran.  It does not give his name.--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:LOTD)  21:52, 27 November 2007 (UTC)
2) The title of the first section 'Family and Early life' does not match the content. The section describes events that happened as late as in 1916—hardly Early life.Y --TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:LOTD)  21:47, 27 November 2007 (UTC)
3) Try to divide 'Five and Dime Stores' into two paragraphs. It is too long in the current form.Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:LOTD)  21:41, 27 November 2007 (UTC)
4) The subsection 'Post Woolworth Career' does not explain why the career is called post Woolworth. He seems to have continued to work in Woolworth Co. I also does not see a connection between Post Woolworth Career and trotters, pacers and polo. Does it mean that he got involved in these activities only later in his life? Y--TonyTheTiger (t/c/bio/WP:LOTD)  21:47, 27 November 2007 (UTC)
Ruslik (talk) 10:13, 27 November 2007 (UTC)
Ok, I will promote the article to GA, but I strongly recommend you to find the name of James' father. Ruslik (talk) 07:42, 28 November 2007 (UTC)