# Talk:Sampson Mathews

This review is transcluded from Talk:Sampson Mathews/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 04:34, 16 April 2020 (UTC)


### Criteria
1. Prose  Pass
2. Verifiability  Pass
3. Depth of Coverage  Pass
4. Neutral  Pass
5. Stable  Pass
6. Illustrations  Pass
7. Miscellaneous  Pass


### Comments
1. 

"where he and brother George Mathews" --> "where he and his brother George Mathews"
done Newtack101 (talk) 19:34, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
You never actually name the American Revolution in the lead, just stating "wartime".  It would be best to go ahead and name the Revolution, as not all readers are going to have the background knowledge to identify what the conflict was based on the years it occurred in.
done Newtack101 (talk) 19:34, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
"Virginia State Senate from Augusta, Rockingham, Rockbridge, Shenandoah, and Pendleton counties" - Would it make more sense to piped link it as "Virginia State Senator" for grammatical reasons, or is the other version a convention in the specific infobox?
I think you're right. Senator would seem to be the convention. Newtack101 (talk) 17:40, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
"He additional was appointed a justice of the peace" This is ungrammatical, there's several ways it can be rephrased
done Newtack101 (talk) 19:34, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
Wikilink misdemeanors
done Newtack101 (talk) 19:34, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
"killed Shawnee Chief Cornstalk without case" - What does "without case" mean?  Is it a typo for cause?
Yes, just a typo for cause. fixed
" Further, they believed the colonists may well be able to restore friendly relations with the Indians if they were able to capture Fort Detroit from the British" - Shift of tense in the middle of this
done Newtack101 (talk) 19:34, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
" in May, 1778" - Is the comma necessary?
done Newtack101 (talk) 19:34, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
Wiklink the ranks in the military service section
done Newtack101 (talk) 19:34, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
Wikilink Yorktown
done Newtack101 (talk) 19:34, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
Thomas Posey is a duplink
done
addressed all issues in this section. Newtack101 (talk) 19:34, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
2.

""spelling books, silk, hats, silver, and even tailor-made suits,"" This is phrased as a quote but isn't the exact quote
thanks, corrected Newtack101 (talk) 19:25, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
For the ref concerning the quote above, it's better to link to the exact document [1] than the page you have to navigate through to get to the article.
doneNewtack101 (talk) 19:25, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
"October 10, 1774, The Battle of Point Pleasant was fought between the Virginia militia and Indians from the Shawnee and Mingo tribes along the Ohio River, with the militia emerging victorious." - Citation needed
done Newtack101 (talk) 22:15, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
"The months following the Dunmore's War saw tension rise between the British and the colonies. Lord Dunmore dissolved the House of Burgesses in May 1774. This lead the Burgesses to form the extralegal Virginia Convention." - Citation needed
done Newtack101 (talk) 22:04, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
"Mathews was elected to the Virginia State Senate for the inaugural session of the Virginia General Assembly, the successor to the House of Burgesses. He represented Augusta, Rockingham, Rockbridge, Shenandoah, and Pendleton counties.[21]" - This gives the impression that he represented all of these countries during that first session, but he didn't represent Pendleton until 1790, which was 10 years removed from the rest of his terms.
Right. I've clarified for accuracy, which involved a bit of rearranging, changing Personal Life to Later Life. Newtack101 (talk) 22:15, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
" Arnold evacuated Portsmouth by sea.[citation needed]" - Citation needed
just decided to remove this sentence, and added an sentence about the Mathews expedition ending instead. Newtack101 (talk) 00:34, 17 April 2020 (UTC)
"#Grigsby 1890(2), p. 88" - The hashtag appears in front of a lot of the Grigsby reference, I don't believe it should be there.
you're right, that was a mistake. done Newtack101 (talk) 19:25, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
" Clem, Gladys B. (1965)"It Happened Around Staunton in Virginia"(Staunton, Virginia: Second Edition) p. 21-23" - Is there a way to insert a space between (1965) and "It Happened ..." ?
done Newtack101 (talk) 19:25, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
The page ranges should have endashes, not the short dashes.
done Newtack101 (talk) 19:25, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
Is ref 1 a book or an article?  If it's a book, add an ISBN if one exists, if it's an article, add where it was published in
yes it's a book, but an obscure one. I haven't been able to find an ISBN number, but have added an OCLC
The book name in ref 8 needs italicized, and a location should be added if one is available.
done Newtack101 (talk) 19:25, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
Refs 12, 13, and 14 need accessdate parameters.
Ref 16 needs an accessdate
Ref 21 needs an accessdate
The publisher for the Founders Online refs should be the National Archives, not the United States government
thanks, done Newtack101 (talk) 19:25, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
Refs 28, 30, 31, 33, and 34 need accessdates.
"Chalkley3, p. 149" - Why the 3?  There's no indication of multiple volumes in the Chalkey refs
no reason for the 3. removed Newtack101 (talk) 19:25, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
Ref 43 needs an accessdate
I've gone ahead and filled in all blank access dates with today's date. I'm guess/hoping that will suffice! Newtack101 (talk) 19:25, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
The refs in the bibliography need to be alphabetized
done Newtack101 (talk) 19:25, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
"Henning, William W. (180)" - Looks like you're missing a digit in the year
thanks, done Newtack101 (talk) 19:25, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
" Glanville, p. 78" - This short ref is provided, but there's no long ref for Glanville in the bibliography
fixed Newtack101 (talk) 19:25, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
There's stray ref tagging after the last entry in the bibliography
fixed Newtack101 (talk) 19:25, 16 April 2020 (UTC)
all issues addressed Newtack101 (talk) 00:34, 17 April 2020 (UTC)
3. 

The infobox and sources seem to indicate that Mathews was in the Virginia Senate in 1790, but this isn't mentioned Newtack101 (talk) 17:40, 16 April 2020 (UTC)in the article.  It should be.
done. I'm not sure what to do in the infobox regarding the varying counties. Do you think I should add a new entry every year he represented a different set of counties, or leave it as is? Newtack101 (talk) 00:34, 17 April 2020 (UTC)
I think it would be acceptable.  I'm not an expert on the infobox standards for this infobox.  If you plan on taking this forward to A-class or FAC, they might say something about that.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Placing this one on hold now, I'll make another run through after these are addressed.
Hog Farm, thank you for your review. I have addressed everything in your initial review. If you spot any addition issues, and I'll be happy to address them. Newtack101 (talk) 00:34, 17 April 2020 (UTC)

I found one last thing.  You have a ref to Kromkowski without any other context (43 I believe), but there's two separate refs to Kromkowski, so it's unclear which is referred to. Hog Farm (talk) 04:03, 17 April 2020 (UTC)
Gotcha. I went ahead and put the full Kromkowski reference in for (43). Also, just want to make sure you saw my question about the infobox above. Thanks. Newtack101 (talk) 12:29, 17 April 2020 (UTC)
I think that's everything. Promoting. Hog Farm (talk) 15:09, 17 April 2020 (UTC)

In response to a request on my talk page, I'd like to offer an informal pre-FAC review of this article. I didn't know anything about this person before reading the article, and know fairly little about the US Revolutionary War.

"As war came to the colonies" - wasn't there warfare against Native Americans from the start of European colonisation?
Good point. I think I was just trying to force a transition phrase in there. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
"a surprise raid of Richmond " - should this be "raid on Richmond"? The grammar seems off here.
Yup. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
"His parents were among the first settlers of Augusta County" - I imagine it was already settled, by Native Americans - should this be "first European colonists" or similar? (not sure what the situation in the US is, but modern works on colonisation in Australia go to considerable lengths to avoid this kind of wording given that it's now considered both inaccurate and offensive to suggest that Australia wasn't settled before Europeans invaded the place)
YES, thank you. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
"worked in various crews" - not sure about "various" here - it seems needlessly vague.
Yeah, it's needlessly vague. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
"In fall of 1774" - should this be "In the fall of 1774"?
Yup. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
The third para of the Revolutionary activities section refers to "the ongoing war effort", but the outbreak of war hasn't previously been noted.
Fair enough. Changed the wording. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
"the senate sought to promote the Continental Navy's Virginia fleet" - I'm not sure what this means: did they want to advertise it, or improve it?
They wanted to improve it. I think I was using "promote" in an antiquated way. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
"a three month tour" - I don't think terms like "tour" are typically used in reference to pre-modern warfare.
Thanks, I wasn't aware of that. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
"In October 1780, Mathews requested to disqualify himself form serving the rest of his term in the Virginia State Senate" - do we know why? (also, this sentence is a bit wordy)
The source doesn't say why. Simplified. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
"and Arnold thereafter burned and looted the city." - surely Arnold's forces did this, not the man by himself!
Haha, I wouldn't put it past him!, but point taken. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
The sources look reliable, but there's inconsistency in the footnotes: while most cites to books use the short form, the full details of some books are given.
I will have to read more about formatting footnotes. Definitely a weak spot for me. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
I've made an example edit to address wordy language, and would suggest a read-through to identify other areas where the wording can be simplified
Thanks. I think reading through these old books effects the way I write sometimes, ha. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
I'd suggest putting this article though a Military History Wikiproject A-class review before going to FAC: the ACR process is designed to provide preparation for FAC, and A-class articles have a much better chance of being passed at FAC. This should ensure that some reviewers more familiar with the American Revolutionary War than I am consider the article. Nick-D (talk) 23:25, 24 April 2020 (UTC)
Will do, thanks for your help! Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)
Even though this is an informal review, I decided to address the comments as I would a formal review for sake of documentation. Newtack101 (talk) 13:28, 26 April 2020 (UTC)