# Talk:Shalden

This review is transcluded from Talk:Shalden/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Dr. Blofeld (talk · contribs) 17:02, 13 December 2015 (UTC)

Needs a bit in the lede on the landmarks to summarize the full article.
Expanded a bit JAGUAR  20:24, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
" between 1235 and 1235"?
Oops, fixed JAGUAR  20:24, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
"until till"
Fixed! JAGUAR  20:24, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
"then compounded for his estate " -a bit awkward
Removed "for" to make it clearer JAGUAR  20:24, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
It's a pity there's not more varied historical info as reeling off "ownership passed" is a tad monotonous to read. All relevant of course though.
I know. Unfortunately it's like that for most English villages, where the only decent history that can be accessed online are "who owned which manor" and when. British History Online has the best info, but it's a nightmare to read JAGUAR  20:24, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
"passed to John Lewkenor and his wife, Anne, of whom it was eventually succeeded by their John, at an unknown point. The manor was then passed on to the Knights of Chawton, in whose family it remained until 1840, when it was sold by Edward Knight to John Wood, the owner of Thedden Grange in Bentworth. Upon his death in 1871, it was finally passed " -try to vary the word "passed"
Rephrased JAGUAR  20:24, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
"both her eyes were missing, which was" -which were?
Reworded JAGUAR  20:24, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
". He proceeded to mutilate and butcher her in the hop field, severing her head on two poles and deeply slashing her mouth to ear across the temples. Her right ear had been cut off and both her eyes were missing, which was later found in the nearby River Wey. Her torso was dismembered and the entire contents of her chest and pelvis had been torn out and scattered across the hop field, with some internal organs found further slashed or mutilated. " -too much gory detail for the main village article. It belongs in her article/an article about the murder not the village. No more than two sentences above.
True, I've moved some parts of this paragraph to her article and cut the sentence "Her torso was dismembered and the entire contents of her chest and pelvis had been torn out and scattered across the hop field, with some internal organs found further slashed or mutilated" entirely as it seems relevant to the village. JAGUAR  20:24, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
"Baker was later discovered by an angry mob from the residents of Alton," -try "Baker was later discovered by a group of angry residents from Alton,
Done, thanks JAGUAR  20:24, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
"Shalden is located in the eastern central part of Hampshire, in South East England, 2.1 miles (3.4 km) northwest of Alton, its nearest town. The parish covers an area of 1,536 acres (622 ha), of which 194 acres (79 ha) are woodland. It has an average elevation of approximately 600 feet (180 m" -are those details all in the same source?
Not the first sentence. Added a citation JAGUAR  20:24, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
"The front dates from the 15th century date " rep of date/s
Fixed JAGUAR  20:24, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
"A book of the registers contains baptisms from 1686 and marriages and burials from 1687, baptisms running to 1790, and marriages to 1753. The book also contains notes of affidavits of burials. The church has a second book which contains baptisms and burials from 1791 to 1812, and the third contains marriages in village that date from 1754 to 1812. There is also a book of churchwardens' accounts from 1754 to at least 1912." -I don't think we really need to know all this in the village article, it's a bit monotonous too. I'd delete the entire paragraph or create a new article on the church and move it there.
I agree. I've deleted the paragraph but merged the first sentence into the paragraph before it JAGUAR  20:24, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
A full list of listed buildings in the fashion of the hidden box in Llantwit Major would be worth adding for comprehension's sake.♦ Dr. Blofeld 18:06, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
Thanks, added. I'll remember to do this in all villages JAGUAR  20:57, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
Do we not know the recent population/area of the village?
I've just found a good population source, so I've added that in JAGUAR  20:39, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
Move external links to bottom.♦ Dr. Blofeld 18:07, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
I had a feeling something was out of order! JAGUAR  20:28, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
A snippet with more on lodge at
Country Life - Volume 191, Issues 10-13 - Page 65
https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=iHZMAAAAYAAJ
1997 - ‎Snippet view - ‎More editions
Shalden Lodge, Shalden, Hampshire. This house, within about an hour's commute of London, is sure to attract those with bonuses burning holes in their pockets. Dating from 1690 with 1780 additions, it has four reception rooms, five or six ..

For some reason I can't access the full snippet, it only shows me the first two sentences? JAGUAR  20:39, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
Thanks for the review Dr. Blofeld! I've attempted to address everything above. The only thing I missed out was your final point about the information of the lodge, as I couldn't access the full snippet for some reason. JAGUAR  20:57, 13 December 2015 (UTC)
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality: 
B. MoS compliance: 
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources: 
B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary: 
C. No original research: 
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects: 
B. Focused: 
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias: 
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc: 
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales: 
B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions: 
Overall:
Pass or Fail: 
Looks sufficient given that it's a very small village.♦ Dr. Blofeld 21:49, 13 December 2015 (UTC)

Thanks for the review! JAGUAR  23:09, 13 December 2015 (UTC)

User:Jaguar has removed several requests for citation saying 'it's all mentioned in the BH source'. Taking them in order the text in the Geography and demographics section says
'The parish covers an area of 1,536 acres (622 ha), of which 194 acres (79 ha) are woodland.' That is written in the present tense, whilst the supposed supporting source, BHO dates from 1911. I do not think it can be used to support 194 acres existing over 100 years later.
In the same section there is text 'the prominent crops produced in the area are cereals.' Again a 1911 source. If the material was in the History section and written appropriately, then fair enough, but it is not.
Thanks for adding the 'Conversation area' source. Could it be renamed conservation? SovalValtos (talk) 08:15, 15 December 2015 (UTC)