# Talk:Painter (video game)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Painter (video game)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Nominator: KGRAMR (talk · contribs) 17:07, 17 April 2025 (UTC)
Reviewer: Shooterwalker (talk · contribs) 13:06, 1 May 2025 (UTC)

I'll take this one on. I have a few other things going on, but I should be able to get to it by next week, if not sooner. Shooterwalker (talk) 13:06, 1 May 2025 (UTC)

Let's give the body a look. Once it's stable, we can come back around for the lead.
Gameplay
Try to give the screenshot a more grammatical sentence. (even just "A screenshot from the game.")
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:45, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"where the player controls" -> "in which the player controls"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:43, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
""making a hole in the grid" -> "making holes in the grid"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:43, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"temporarily preventing them and the player from passing over the hole" -> "temporarily prevent both the enemies and the player from passing over them"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:43, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"The player also has a time limit to complete each grid" -> "The player also faces a time limit for completing each grid"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:43, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"moves on to the next level" -> "advances to the next level"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:43, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"There are over 100 levels and each one features..." -> "The game features over 100 levels, each containing..."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:43, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"featuring invisible grid lines, short timers..." -> "introducing invisible grid lines, shorter time limits..."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:43, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"The player can resume their progress via passwords..." -> "Progress can be resumed using passwords..."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:43, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
Development
"produced" -> "developed"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"formed by Gordon Gibson and comprising members" -> "founded by Gordon Gibson and composed of members"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
Consider commas for the last few items in lists. E.g.: "x, and y" rather than "x and y". The former usually does a better job of dilineating the list, whereas the latter sort of pairs them.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"for Atari ST" -> "for the Atari ST"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
Split the longer sentence about distribution, so it's more readable and clear.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"available through Sinister via registration with..." -> "distributed by Sinister via registration, with..."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"included with Starball..." -> "bundled with Starball, a pinball game"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"made available as freeware" -> "re-released as freeware"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"planned to be hidden" - "intended as a hidden feature in..."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"but requires" → "but it requires"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"in order to run" -> "to run" (more concise)
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"in regular and special editions" -> "in both regular and special editions"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"verison" -> "version" (typo?)
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"made a licensed cartridge release called..." -> "released a licensed cartridge edition titled..."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"with new levels" -> "featuring new levels"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:53, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
Reception
"very playable" -> "highly playable"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:58, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"labelled it as" -> "described it as"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:58, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"assessing that it is" -> "noting that it remains"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:58, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"said it was" -> "called it"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:58, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"felt it was" -> "felt it was fun but dated..."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:58, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"nothing to keep the player coming back" -> "little to keep players coming back"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:58, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
"while praising" -> "while also praising"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 21:58, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
... some of these sentences run on in a way that makes them less readable and clear. Consider summarizing details into shorter ideas, or splitting some sentences. Also consider shortening quotes.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 00:08, 8 May 2025 (UTC)
This is generally pretty solid. It will need at least one more pass or two, but it's well on its way. Shooterwalker (talk) 16:20, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
@Shooterwalker:Once i'm done with work, i'll get around to your inquiries later today. Roberth Martinez (talk) 18:44, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
@Shooterwalker:OK, first pass done. Ping me when you're ready with the second pass of the article. Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:01, 7 May 2025 (UTC)
I think we can wrap it up with one more full pass, this time with the lead. Worst case there may be a few odds and ends.
Lead
"In the game, the player controls a sprite character through levels by painting all lines on a grid to fill enclosed areas while avoiding enemies against a time limit." -> shorten this a bit. We don't need all the detail. The body has a nice succinct sentence now.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:04, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
"Sinister had previously made shareware conversions of arcade games for the Atari ST, Amiga and PC platforms." -> this is off topic for the lead.
The following sentence can start "Sinister release Painter as shareware" or something like that.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:04, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
"It was also available through Sinister via registration with additional levels and a level designer, and was later made available as freeware." -> "Players could also register the game through Sinister to receive a full version with additional levels and a level designer. The full version was later made available as freeware." (cleaner, and separates two different ideas more clearly.)
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:04, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
"addictive" -> I realize this was a popular word in advertisements and reviews, but maybe dial it back to something more encyclopedic.
 Done -- I decided to remove the word. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:04, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
"while others felt it was fun but dated. Criticism was also directed at minor bugs and the lack of Memory Track support." -> "Other reviewers felt the game was fun but dated, with criticism directed at minor bugs and the lack of save game support."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:04, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
Body
" the group Cynix" -> this deosn't really mean anything to the average reader. What kind of group? Who is Cynix? If there aren't sources that dig into this, it's better to just leave out the team altogether.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:04, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
"The game was also distributed by Sinister via registration, with 100 additional levels and a level designer, as a covermount with the July 1994 issue of Atari ST User magazine, and bundled with Starball, a pinball game, as part of disk number GD2315 from Goodman International." -> this sentence is a mouthful and should probably be split into two cleaner sentences.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:04, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
"while ST Format's Nick Peers felt it was fun but dated and had little to keep players coming back." -> "While ST Format's Nick Peers felt the game was fun, he also criticized the gameplay as dataed, with little to keep players coming back." (pulling this out to state a more nuanced and complex idea.)
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:04, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
The "memory track" support doesn't mean much to the average reader, without more context. I tried "save game" support in the lead, but if that doesn't seem right, let's try to find something clearer or just leave it out.
 Done -- I changed the line in question. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:04, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
"The Atari Times' David Sherwin opined that the game's minimalist visuals complemented its abstract theme and arcade-style gameplay, while also praising the post-techno music and digitized voice samples." -> "David Sherwin of The Atari Times felt that the game's minimalist visuals suited its arcade-style gameplay and abstract theme, and also praised the game's audio, music, and digitized voice samples."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:04, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
Sources
I'm a little wary of some of the more niche Jaguar specialist sources. I'm going to WP:AGF that they have fact-checking and review, but I wanted you to comment on some of the more niche ones.
I don't blame you for casting doubt regarding the sources in this article, particularly the Jaguar version. The Jaguar version was mentioned once in a contemporary French publication long after the Jaguar was dead and later by ST-Computer once they went to the online format. Unlike Protector and BattleSphere, which had coverage from multiple publications, coverage for the Jaguar version of Painter was much more limited and it was likely luck or a miracle that i came across with a lot of sources for the Atari ST version to establish the game's notability. Otherwise, this draft would have stalled from the get go. I actually tried to see if MO5.com did a mention of Painter - Definitive Edition, since MO5.com is like the website Gematsu but dedicated to the retro scene, but unfortunately i came empty-handed. The only reason why i included it was because the publisher who did the licensed cartridge release, Lawrence Staveley, is actually a former Sinister member who went to do his own stuff in the Jaguar scene years later. Jaguar Sector II was a website similar to Planet Virtual Boy, but geared towards the Jaguar instead. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:18, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
That's it for now. Shooterwalker (talk) 18:32, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
@Shooterwalker:Second pass done! Ping me once you come with the third pass of the article. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:20, 13 May 2025 (UTC)
"In the game, the player controls a sprite character through levels by painting lines on a grid to fill e enclosed areas." -> "In the game, the player guides a sprite across a grid to fill enclosed areas."
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:47, 16 May 2025 (UTC)
"Sinister released" -> "Sinister initially released"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:47, 16 May 2025 (UTC)
"A version of Painter was intended as a hidden feature" -> "A version of Painter was planned as a hidden feature"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:47, 16 May 2025 (UTC)
" but it requires a bypass cartridge or boot program to run" -> "requiring a bypass cartridge or boot program to run"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:47, 16 May 2025 (UTC)
" dataed" -> "dated"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:47, 16 May 2025 (UTC)
" addictive" -> either change this or put it in quotes, if it was the exact word in the review.
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:47, 16 May 2025 (UTC)
I'll WP:AGF on the sources, and we can leave it to other editors if there are issues. I'm satisfied that it's reliable and neutral. That should be it... Shooterwalker (talk) 18:26, 16 May 2025 (UTC)
@Shooterwalker:Third pass done! I had to do the last edits via phone, as i don't have Internet in my house right now. Let me know what else needs to be touched up. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:47, 16 May 2025 (UTC)
Happy to give this a pass. Congratulations on building another good article. Shooterwalker (talk) 16:39, 17 May 2025 (UTC)
@Shooterwalker:Thank you once again for taking the time to review another Jaguar-related article :D Roberth Martinez (talk) 17:21, 17 May 2025 (UTC)