# Talk:WhiteWater World

This article was automatically assessed because at least one WikiProject had rated the article as start, and the rating on other projects was brought up to start class. BetacommandBot 03:17, 9 November 2007 (UTC)

Has now been reassessed according to current article. Themeparkgc  Talk  23:00, 5 September 2010 (UTC)

{{geodata-check}}
The coordinates need the following fixes:
The coordinates are wrong ( it gives a position in the middle of Pacific Ocean).
The right ones are: 27°51'57"S   153°18'57"E 
71.125.52.124 (talk) 15:48, 15 December 2009 (UTC)

Done before now. BrainMarble (talk) 01:53, 22 January 2010 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:WhiteWater World/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Mike 289 17:37, 23 August 2011 (UTC)
This is the first article I read that actually looks great! I am entering this with no complaints. In my opinion, this should have been nominated for FAMike 289 17:38, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

This not a review, promotion reverted. Jezhotwells (talk) 18:17, 23 August 2011 (UTC)
Reviewer: Shiftchange (talk) 01:39, 28 August 2011 (UTC)
The lead needs to be expanded to include key facts, see WP:Lead.  I would like to know how well it has been received by the public.  Has it been popular, are there any criticisms, third party reviews, etc.  Other than that it is a nice article, detailed, well sourced, good photos and follows proper formatting.  I would fail this nomination until these matters have been attended to.

I've added a reception section to the article that highlights as much information that I can reliably source. There was one incident however that I haven't included because I would like a second opinion. In October 2008, a paralympian was stopped from going on the rides due to his prosthetic leg. Articles can be found here, here, here, here and here. Is this incident worth mentioning since I am sure would have happened at several other amusement parks and water parks around the world to other people who didn't receive the media attention? Finally, I will further expand the lead over the coming days. Themeparkgc  Talk  06:16, 28 August 2011 (UTC)
I would add a sentence or two about the paralympian as it was covered by multiple sources and the topic of a disabled person's access carries significance more generally. - Shiftchange (talk) 07:25, 28 August 2011 (UTC)
Any ideas of where to put a statement about it? In the reception section (with a focus on the park being critised for it and them defending it) or somewhere else? Themeparkgc  Talk  07:32, 28 August 2011 (UTC)
Possibly in the History section as it was an incident that occurred in the past. - Shiftchange (talk) 08:07, 28 August 2011 (UTC)
I have made the changes you have suggested (including expanding the lead). Is there anything else that could be improved? Themeparkgc  Talk  09:54, 28 August 2011 (UTC)
I can't see anything expect for the addition of the year to image captions, but I don't think that is in the GA criteria.  I haven't done too many GA reviews nor worked on an article to that level before. I think it is now a GA (excellent work) but a few other opinions would be best. - Shiftchange (talk) 10:39, 28 August 2011 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:WhiteWater World/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Mike 289 18:46, 23 August 2011 (UTC)
Okay, since I'll need to make a review, I will do one:

Prose check!
Prose is poor, examples:
The cabanas are located are various areas around the park including adjacent to Pipeline Plunge, Cave of Waves and Wiggle Bay. Each cabana comfortably caters for up to four guests with each featuring deck chairs, couches, coffee table, iPod dock, freshly laundered towels and a mini refrigerator
Similar to the other rides on this tower, guests can ride in a single or double tube down the enclosed and open flumes.
Upon entering the water park the first slide tower guests will see contains the park's main thrill slides In-universe
Lots more like this throughout. Jezhotwells (talk) 19:54, 23 August 2011 (UTC)
References check!
No they don't! Parkz is not a WP:RS, most of the "facts" are sourced to promotional literature from the park and various forums and Youtube promotional videos. Two dead links need addressing. Jezhotwells (talk) 19:54, 23 August 2011 (UTC)
Lead check!
No - Lead fails to comply with WP:LEAD Jezhotwells (talk) 19:54, 23 August 2011 (UTC)
Grammer check!
Grammar - not grammer! How can you assess this when you can't even spell? Jezhotwells (talk) 19:54, 23 August 2011 (UTC)
Infobox check!
Not a GA requirement Jezhotwells (talk) 19:54, 23 August 2011 (UTC)
Pictures(when needed) check!
If someone disagrees with me, please add a comment in the next 30 minutes.Mike 289 18:46, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

Just taking a quick glance, the lead has several references in it. For the most part there shouldn't any reason for references in the lead, per wp:lead they are not required if the information is referenced in the body and the lead should not contain information to in the body. This leads me to believe that this is not in the body and should be worked into the appropriate sections.--Mo Rock...Monstrous  (leech44) 19:00, 23 August 2011 (UTC)
It appears to me that User:Mike28968 does not have the reading and comprehension skills necessary to review an article against the criteria or even to understand them.  I suggest that you retire from GA reviewing until you have gained these skills. Jezhotwells (talk) 19:50, 23 August 2011 (UTC)
Jez upholds high standards of prose that I do not totally endorse but in this case his points are entirely correct. The biggest problem with the prose is that it is overly promotional in tone, possibly because it is copying the tone of the source materials. The lead is also too short and thus not a good summary of the article (as well as the extensive references in the lead itself). The review was lacking in these respects indicative of a lack of rigorous comparison to the criteria. Grandiose (me, talk, contribs)  20:31, 23 August 2011 (UTC)

I've just copy-edited this article and I've a few comments:

The article had lots of puffery (biggest this, first that, most efficient other etc.) which I've tried to tone down.
There isn't much criticism of the park or operator, except the Simmonds incident.
Lots of the references originate from the company's own publicity material.
The article reads like a publicity piece. I think it needs to be more neutral.
I think some points are over-referenced and these will need checking for accuracy and dead links. The aforementioned Simmonds incident had five references - I've reduced this to three.
Those are the problems I've encountered during my copy-edit. Cheers, Baffle gab1978 (talk) 02:15, 28 September 2011 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:WhiteWater World/GA3. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Wrestlinglover (talk · contribs) 05:43, 4 December 2011 (UTC)
I still plan on reviewing this article. Just some things have come up. Its weird. The exact moment I planned to start the review I see this page has been deleted.--WillC 05:43, 4 December 2011 (UTC)
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality: 

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists: 

Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources: 

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary: 

C. No original research: 

Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects: 

B. Focused: 

Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias: 

Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc: 

Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales: 

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions: 

Overall:
Pass or Fail: 
Congrats, I pass this article.--WillC 08:18, 15 December 2011 (UTC)
Review
Lead
Fine--WillC 08:18, 15 December 2011 (UTC)
Development
"During 2004, Macquarie Leisure, since renamed Ardent Leisure, began planning a water park to be located next to the company's existing Dreamworld theme park. Dreamworld's Chief Executive Officer, Stephen Gregg, and General Manager of Special Projects, Bob Tan, visited water parks around the world to discover the most thrilling and cutting-edge water rides available." - Okay, its a bit wordy and pausing. I say change to "In 2004, Macquarie Leisure began planning a water park to be located next to the company's existing Dreamworld theme park. Dreamworld's Chief Executive Officer Stephen Gregg and General Manager of Special Projects Bob Tan visited water parks around the world to discover the most thrilling and cutting-edge water rides available. Later Tan was quoted saying "...the drawing board for the new park was a restaurant napkin in a little cafe in the US"."--WillC 07:06, 4 December 2011 (UTC)
"On 28 November 2005, Macquarie Leisure announced it would invest $56 million on the project. The announcement referred to the Dreamworld Water Park. Construction began shortly after the announcement." - Merge sentences. "On 28 November 2005, Macquarie Leisure announced it would invest $56 million on the Dreamworld Water Park project, with construction commencing shortly there-after."--WillC 07:06, 4 December 2011 (UTC)
I can't find a reason in Wikipedia:MOSTEXT  for the rides to be in italics. Mind explaining the reasoning?--WillC 08:39, 5 December 2011 (UTC)
"After six months of operation Ardent Leisure announced that WhiteWater World attracted 247,360 visitors, producing revenue of $8.7 million and a profit of $4 million." When did Macquarie Leisure rename themselves exactly? If this was before the name change, then use the old name. Include a full sentence that they changed their name. Something along the lines of "In ???, Macquarie Leisure went through a process of a brand change to Ardent Leisure." or however it went.--WillC 08:39, 5 December 2011 (UTC)
Performance
"In the first 24 days of operation to 31 December 2006, WhiteWater World performed above expectation with approximately 23,000 guests." to "WhiteWater World performed above expectations after opening with approximately 23,000 guests between 8 December and 31 December 2006."--WillC 08:39, 5 December 2011 (UTC)
"The park continued to perform well in subsequent years." It feels incomplete. Adding some figures from following years will solve this.--WillC 08:39, 5 December 2011 (UTC)
I've added a statistic to support this and to fill in the 2008 period. Is that better? Themeparkgc  Talk  10:06, 5 December 2011 (UTC)
" which will "...strengthen ride inventory and consumer appeal"." will to would--WillC 08:39, 5 December 2011 (UTC)
I think I've resolved all of the items you have brought up to this point. Themeparkgc  Talk  10:06, 5 December 2011 (UTC)
Expansion
"In September 2007, the park added two attractions; a pair of ProSlide Cannon Bowls called The Little Rippers and an events venue called The Shell." Change to a colon, as a semi-colon separates two complete sentences, the second is incomplete.--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
"The main feature of the application was a 25-metre (82 ft) tower featuring three new water slides; two Mammoth slides and a Tornado Tantrum Alley." Same as above.--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
"The expansion proposal also featured a lazy river (featuring a "wave channel") and a large water play area." This sentence made me go WTF?. I understand its point but the wave channel comment is just trivia. I say remove it.--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
"WhiteWater World has not yet proceeded with the expansion, citing the financial crisis of 2007-2010 for the delay." to "The expansion plans have been delayed due to the 2007-2010 financial crisis." - The beginning of the existing one just sounds awkward.--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
"However its competitor, Wet'n'Wild Water World, entered into an exclusivity agreement with the manufacturer to ensure WhiteWater World did not receive one." - This does not sound neutral in point of view. Is this exactly what happened or is some of this OR, as the source covering it will not open for me?--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
I think I have fixed the link. It seems to be working for me. Themeparkgc  Talk  21:32, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
I shall check this with the sources today.--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)
Issue here. The source does not cover the information. Its not neutral. I'd change to "However Warner Village Theme Parks,  owner of competitor Wet'n'Wild Water World, attempted to negotiate an exclusivity agreement with the manufacturer." or something along those lines.--WillC 07:10, 15 December 2011 (UTC)
I've made the alteration to this statement and provided wikilinks for Village Roadshow Theme Parks and Wet'n'Wild Water World. Themeparkgc  Talk  07:45, 15 December 2011 (UTC)
"The Wedgie was the first ride in Australia to feature a trap door release and was marketed as Australia's first looping water slide." This is out of the blew and has no introduction. What is The Wedgie, etc?--WillC 15:46, 6 December 2011 (UTC)
Attractions
This section is fine prose wise.--WillC 11:52, 11 December 2011 (UTC)
Other facilities
Fine--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)
Reception
Fine--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)
References
They all seem fine. I see a few questionable ones but they look good enough for GA. I figure they've all been checked enough they should pass here.--WillC 07:10, 15 December 2011 (UTC)
External links
Fine--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)
Images
"The slide tower housing The Temple of Huey and the Little Rippers. Some slides interact with Dreamworld's Cyclone roller coaster." This describes what is in said photo. As such the first sentence should not have a period per guidelines. The second is a complete sentence and deserves a period. This needs to be rewrote.--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)
"The BRO, the world's first ProSlide 8-laneOctopus Racer." Same as above--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)
"Super Tubes Hydrocoaster and The Green Room from the car park." Same issue--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)
"Looking towards WhiteWater World's entrance from the entrance of the adjacent Dreamworld theme park." As well--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)
I've reworded all of these captions. Please let me know what you think. Themeparkgc  Talk  21:43, 14 December 2011 (UTC)
Fixed any issues I had left there.--WillC 07:10, 15 December 2011 (UTC)
I shall check the sources later today and finish this review off. Sorry it has taken me so long to complete this. At the time I decided to take it on I had plenty of time, then it all got wrecked. Sorry once again.--WillC 06:49, 14 December 2011 (UTC)
Don't worry about it. The 10 days you have taken to complete the review so far is nothing compared to the 4 months this article sat on the GA queue. At least this time I am getting a full detailed review unlike the previous reviews. Thanks Themeparkgc  Talk  21:43, 14 December 2011 (UTC)
I try to cover everything. Its what I'd want done to the ones I write.--WillC 07:10, 15 December 2011 (UTC)

Thank you very much for the time and effort put in on reviewing this article and for passing it. Kind regards Themeparkgc  Talk  08:23, 15 December 2011 (UTC)

No problem. Thanks for waiting. Good article, you did well.--WillC 08:28, 15 December 2011 (UTC)

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Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20120325175602/http://www.ardentleisure.com.au/Resources/Documents/mle_2007_results_presentation.pdf to http://www.ardentleisure.com.au/Resources/Documents/mle_2007_results_presentation.pdf
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Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20120325175629/http://www.ardentleisure.com.au/Resources/Documents/mle_agm_presentation.pdf to http://www.ardentleisure.com.au/Resources/Documents/mle_agm_presentation.pdf
Corrected formatting/usage for http://about.dreamworld.com.au/Media-Centre/Media-Kit/Media-Kit-Pages/WhiteWater-World-Leads-the-way-in-Sustainability.aspx
Corrected formatting/usage for http://about.dreamworld.com.au/Media-Centre/Media-Kit/Media-Kit-Pages/Media-Kit-The-Wedgie.aspx
Corrected formatting/usage for http://about.dreamworld.com.au/Media-Centre/Press-Releases/Press-Release-Pages/The-Wedgie.aspx
Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.whitewaterworld.com.au/Attractions/
Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.dreamworld.com.au/Resources/Documents/Park-Map.pdf
Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20100504231652/http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/travel/how-scary-can-a-waterslide-be-very-20100331-re8s.html to http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/travel/how-scary-can-a-waterslide-be-very-20100331-re8s.html
Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.proslide.com/rides_08_d_inst.php
Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.proslide.com/rides_05_inst.php
Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.proslide.com/rides_02_c_inst.php
Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.proslide.com/rides_07_b_inst.php
Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.whitewaterworld.com.au/Rides/Triple-Vortex.aspx
Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20110723090205/http://www.proslide.com/rides_06_a_inst.php to http://www.proslide.com/rides_06_a_inst.php
Corrected formatting/usage for http://about.dreamworld.com.au/Media-Centre/Media-Kit/Media-Kit-Pages/Media-Kit---White-Water-World-Attractions.aspx
Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.dreamworld.com.au/Summer-Funomenon/Mass-Sliming.aspx
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Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20110407183401/http://www.dreamworld.com.au/Events/Whitewater-World-Venues/The-Shell.aspx to http://www.dreamworld.com.au/Events/Whitewater-World-Venues/The-Shell.aspx
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