# Talk:Stefan Dragutin

This review is transcluded from Talk:Stefan Dragutin/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 17:39, 3 November 2020 (UTC)

"He was the eldest son of King Stefan Uroš I of Serbia and Helen of Anjou. He received the title of "young king" in recognition of his right to succeed his father after a peace treaty between Uroš I and Béla IV of Hungary, who was the grandfather of Dragutin's wife, Catherine, in 1268." There is rather a lot in this sentence. Can I suggest splitting it into two, or even three, sentences.
Done. (?)
"File:Stefan Dragutin, Arilje.jpg" has two different PD tags. It only needs one of them. If PD-old, add a US PD tag; if PD-Serbia, add a source.
Done.
"File:King Stefan Uroš I with his son Stefan Dragutin.jpg" needs a US PD tag.
Done.
"File:Dinar of King Stefan Dragutin.jpg" needs a PD tag for the coin.
Done.
What is the source of the information in "File:Srem04-en.png"?
The file contains a list of sources. I could refer to further works to verify it. Is it necessary?
Numerous works in "Sources" are not cited. They should be deleted or moved to "Further reading".
Done.
Seven works in "Further reading" seems excessive,. Are they all helpful/necessary. It seems to be stretching "a reasonable number of works".
Done.
Caption: "King Dragutin, (founder's portrait (fresco) in Saint Achillius Church, painted during his lifetime, around 1296". Why the outer set of parentheses?
Done.
More to follow. Gog the Mild (talk) 17:39, 3 November 2020 (UTC)

Thank you for starting the review. Borsoka (talk) 02:23, 4 November 2020 (UTC)
I have done a little copy editing. Let me know if there is anything you don't like or don't understand why I have done it.

"forced him to abdicate in 1282." You sure about that date?
No. :) Modified.
"but he actually ruled his realm as an independent ruler". Suggest "he actually" → 'in practice he'.
Done.
"Milutin's mercenaries routed him in 1311 or 1312". Is enough known about this to be worth a red link?
Sorry, I do not understand your above remark.
You may recall Third Punic War ;-) . In the lead there is a reference to the Battle of Oroscopa. It is read because an article on it does not (yet) exist; but it is linked because there is enough information on it, IMO, for someone to create such an article, so it is pre-empively linked. I am enquiring whether there is sufficient information available that someone might, one day, create an article on the 1311/12 battle. If there is, it should be linked and will show in red - hence "red link".
I also like red links, but I have not read a detailed narration about the battle. Borsoka (talk) 01:47, 13 November 2020 (UTC)
Link Cuman, Tartar, Turkish, mercenaries, prelate, abdicate, monastery and monk.
Done.
"Dragutin continued to style himself as king in his royal charters and coins." 1. Describing them as "royal" is PoV under the circumstances, and I suggest deleting the word. 2. 'and on his coins'.
Done.
"St. Achillios Church". Is the o a typo?
Modified.
Setton is cited, but isn't in the sources.
Restored.
"defeated Dragutin's army before 13 October 1307". If this means what it says, then 'defeated Dragutin's army on an unknown date, sometime before 13 October 1307'.
Done.
The last paragraph. I am not sure that it is necessary to have cite 44 four times in a row. Consider removing hte first three.
Done. Borsoka (talk) 04:32, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
Gog the Mild (talk) 21:22, 6 November 2020 (UTC)
I also note that there is a cite to "Setton 1976, p. 130." that does not link to any entry in bibliography. Renata (talk) 04:06, 12 November 2020 (UTC)

Thank you. The source restored. Borsoka (talk) 04:32, 12 November 2020 (UTC)
That all looks good. I have expanded on the red link point above, but that is not a GAN issue, so I am promoting. Nice work. Gog the Mild (talk) 19:23, 12 November 2020 (UTC)

Thank you for your comprehensive and thorough review, and also for promoting the article. Have a nice day. Borsoka (talk) 01:47, 13 November 2020 (UTC)