# Talk:Vaster than Empires and More Slow

This review is transcluded from Talk:Vaster than Empires and More Slow/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Midnightblueowl (talk · contribs) 12:36, 30 August 2016 (UTC)

I'll take on this review. Comments soon. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:36, 30 August 2016 (UTC)
Lede

I would specify the country of original publication in the lede, and probably also explicitly describe the author as "American". Midnightblueowl (talk) 09:40, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
done
We need to specify the year of original publication in that opening sentence too. Midnightblueowl (talk) 09:40, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
done
"the earth" should be "the Earth". Midnightblueowl (talk) 09:40, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
done
"however, he has an abrasive personality, that leads to tensions within the team" - perhaps this would flow better without the second comma. Midnightblueowl (talk) 09:40, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
true. done
"The story was republished in Le Guin's collections The Wind's Twelve Quarters and Buffalo Gals and Other Animal Presences, as well as in many other collections." Maybe find a synonym for "collections" so that it doesn't repeat? Midnightblueowl (talk) 09:55, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
done: anthologies.
Background and setting

"the earth" and then "Earth". Standardise to latter. Midnightblueowl (talk) 09:59, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
done
Plot summary

"follows a crew of a survey ship" - "follows the crew" perhaps? Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:07, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
done
Sources

There are several issues with the location data. Add locations to all publisher names, while removing any country names. Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:07, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
done
The Watson citation needs to specify the title and volume of the journal. Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:07, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
done
Standardise the retrieval dates, too. Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:07, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
done
Can we get page numbers for Erlich? Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:27, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
done
I would standardise the retrieval date on the "1972 Hugo Awards" to match the other dates in this section. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:27, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
done
Silverberg doesn't need to say "New York, New York"; also problematic is that the New York link takes us to the article on the state, whereas I think you are referring to New York City here (I wouldn't actually worry about having any of them linked; I don't think it adds anything) Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:27, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
I've modified the link and removed all but the first use, but surely if we're adding location information it doesn't hurt to make the location easier to read about?
I suppose it doesn't hurt. Either way, it's not an obstacle at GAN. Midnightblueowl (talk) 13:20, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
Silverberg also needs an ISBN, if possible. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:27, 31 August 2016 (UTC)
Yeah this does need one, but it's proving rather hard to find, for some reason. I'll keep trying, but I'm not hopeful.
Other than this I am happy that it meets all of the GA criteria and will be passed as such in due course. Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:07, 31 August 2016 (UTC)

I am now happy to pass this as a GA. Once more you've done some great work, Vanamonde! Well done. Midnightblueowl (talk) 13:20, 31 August 2016 (UTC)

The preface bit(idk the word) spoils the entire plot of the short story. It'd be better if it didn't. 86.8.166.19 (talk) 07:54, 2 August 2022 (UTC)

Hello, and welcome to Wikipedia. We do not typically alter descriptions of fictional works to avoid spoilers; see WP:SPOILER. That said, if there's a specific alteration you'd like to propose, I'm willing to discuss it. Vanamonde (Talk) 18:40, 4 August 2022 (UTC)