# Talk:Owls (album)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Owls (album)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 13:53, 21 November 2021 (UTC)

Will take this on; first review for you in a while! --K. Peake 13:53, 21 November 2021 (UTC)


### Infobox and lead
Replace hlist with bullet points per Template:Infobox album
"debut studio album of" → "debut studio album by"
Independent label introduction is not needed here when you provide this in the body
"Owls is an" → "The album is an"
"Pavement and Captain Beefheart." → "Pavement, and Captain Beefheart."
Start a new para at the critical reception part
"noted its influences from the members' other bands while some others" → "noted influence from the members' other bands, while others"
Add a sentence after critical reception mentioning the album being ranked as one of the best emo albums by Rolling Stone
"The album was promoted" → "It was promoted"


### Background and production
"namely, drummer Mike Kinsella," → "namely his brother Mike as drummer," or something similar per MOS:SAMESURNAME
"guitarist Victor Villareal and" → "guitarist Victor Villareal, and"
Turns out he has a page at Victor Villarreal; swapped the link to that instead. Yeepsi (talk) 18:20, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
Pipe Sam Zurick to Make Believe (band)
"In September that year," → "In September 2000,"
"with Mike Kinsella and" should this be "with the Kinsellas" per the source?
I thought Mike Kinsella wasn't a member of Joan of Arc until later on (when he actually was at the time of this album, I'm mistaken). Yeepsi (talk) 18:20, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
[1] should solely be at the end of the last sentence
"met with a" → "was met with a"
[1] does not mention those sources calling it unlistenable
"and The Chicago Tribune would" → "and the Chicago Tribune would"
"in Japan before" → "in Japan, before"
Introduction of "the band's debut album" is not needed here when it is provided in the lead
Pipe mastered to Mastering (audio)


### Composition
Retitle to Composition and songs
"of Pavement and the" → "of Pavement, and the"
Pipe jazz blues to Twelve-bar blues
"Tim Kinsella's stream-of-consciousness," → "Kinsella's stream-of-consciousness,"
Had to remove this since I removed the Portland Mercury ref. Yeepsi (talk) 18:20, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
"bounced between plucked single-notes" → "went between plucked notes" because it does not say anywhere that they are single
Same as above. Yeepsi (talk) 18:20, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
"is similar to his" → "was described as similar to his"
"and anchor Tim Kinsella's" → "and accompany Tim's" per MOS:SAMESURNAME
"The first tracks" → "The first two tracks"
"include percussion such as bongos and tambourine." → "include bongos and tambourine." since these are the only instruments sourced
"Kinsella sings about heredity and marriage while" → "Tim Kinsella sings about heredity and marriage, while"
Add the year of "Who Goes Nazi?"
"a math rock song with" → "a math rock song, with"
"the record's musical forms;" → "the musical forms of Owls;"
"vocal melodies and Kinsella's" → "vocal melodies, and Kinsella's"
"refer to Tim and Mike Kinsella's cousin" → "refer to Tim and Mike's cousin" per us already knowing they have the same surname


### Release and reception
#### Promotion and touring
Retitle to Promotion, as touring is a form of this
"was announced in" → "became public in"
Remove independent label introduction and wikilink for Jade Tree
Wikilink pre-order
"July 31 the same year." → "July 31 of the same year."
"the group embarked" → "the band embarked"
"After the tour was completed," → "After the tour ended,"
Move [8] to after the comma instead since refs should follow punctuation
"in October 2002[22] and disbanded" → "in October 2002[22], before disbanding"


#### Critical response
Retitle to Reception
"He said Tim Kinsella's" → "He said Kinsella's"
"Cleveland Scene writer Brian Baker" → "The Cleveland Scene writer Brian Baker"
"wrote Kinsella was "warbling in" → "wrote Kinsella warbles "in"
Wikilink CMJ New Music Monthly to itself per MOS:LINK2SECT
Mention the full name of Stylus Magazine since it is not a publication where magazine is in brackets
"and said the nonsensical lyrics" → "and noted the nonsensical lyrics"
"at times" but with" → "at times", but with"
the A.V. Club → The A.V. Club, as "the" is part of the publication's name
""orphan" list, which" → ""orphan" list for the 2000s, which"
"list of the" → "2016 list of the"
Pipe Vulture to Vulture.com


### Track listing
Good


### Personnel
Good


### References
Copyvio score looks pretty good at 30.9%!!
The Chicago Tribune → Chicago Tribune on ref 5
Ref 10 is written by a contributor for the fanzine; is this really a reliable source?
The publication is listed at WP:ALBUM/SOURCE. Yeepsi (talk) 18:20, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
Remove or replace ref 14 since it is a bi-weekly tabloid and does not have many staff members
Are you sure ref 15 is reliable; the staff seems to be quite low?
They have a large amount of writers listed here and on the various print editions (the latter is a little annoying as they're listed on separate pages as opposed to all being on one page). Yeepsi (talk) 18:20, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
Ref 16 needs to work as a citation so clicking on it directs down to the source
Stylus → Stylus Magazine on ref 24
Pipe Vulture to Vulture.com on ref 28 per MOS:LINK2SECT
Wikilink CMJ New Music Monthly


### External links
Good


### Final comments and verdict
 On hold until everything is fixed; nice job for the most part! --K. Peake 17:01, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
@Kyle Peake: Made the changes. Yeepsi (talk) 18:20, 21 November 2021 (UTC)
@Yeepsi:  Pass now, only did some very brief copy editing and the sources you provided are acceptable now. --K. Peake 07:54, 22 November 2021 (UTC)