# Talk:Rampage (roller coaster)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Rampage (roller coaster)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Rjjiii (talk · contribs) 05:48, 30 July 2023 (UTC)

 


### Well-written
(a) the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct:
Going a bit out of order:

"Reception" is hard for me to follow. The structure seems to be [one review, another review] and then [one review, another review] in two paragraphs. Is there any way that this content could be structured by concept/theme/topic? If my concern is unclear, let me know.Rjjiii (talk) 20:47, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
Under "Characteristics"
When it opened, the roller coaster was located within the Celebration City section of the park. feels unrelated to other content. It could likely be cut. If there's something significant about this line, it was not clear to me.
The paragraph beginning with The roller coaster reaches a top speed could use a topic sentence or some kind of signal to the reader. This doesn't need to be additional content. For example, the sentence Rampage is considered a twister roller coaster because the track's layout weaves through itself. felt like the natural start of the paragraph to me.Rjjiii (talk) 21:00, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
Under "Operation"
the park continued to observe stagnant attendance into 2000. seems contradictory, maybe just "the park observed..." or even shorten the whole line to "attendance stagnated."
As part of a five-year plan, I don't see a significance to this clause and it made the chronology more confusing for me, because the ride opens the next year.
The renovation saw the replacement of wooden structure and track, in addition to a new train. I did not fully grasp the meaning of that until I read the source, "Over the past six months, the owners of Alabama Splash Adventure have embarked on an extensive restoration project to replace virtually the entire track — including over 1,400 boards and supports — and restore the 28-seat train." The Ship of Theseus-style replacement is definitely interesting but I would reword this. It's easy to take this as either (a) the structure was replaced as-a-whole rather than piece-by-piece, or (b) the wooden structure was replaced with something other than a wooden structure.Rjjiii (talk) 21:31, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
Under "Ride experience"
right banked suggest: right-banked
left banked suggest: left-banked
into drop suggest: into a drop
dropping to complete a hill I was not sure of the meaning.
where it ascends into a left-banked turn. Continuing the left-banked turn with a series of dips, the train drops suggest: where it ascends into a left-banked with a series of dips. The train drops
One cycle of the roller coaster took about a minute and thirty seconds to complete. Why is only this sentence in past tense?
Under "History"
near the Birmingham, Alabama area suggest: near Birmingham, Alabama
with the backing of around a dozen cities It's not clear if Longford had the backing or sought the backing from this wording.
In a series of endeavors aimed to establish a Birmingham theme and water park, suggest: omit as redundant
and include a 100-foot (30-meter) drop. Could this be moved out of the price sentence? Maybe into the very next one.
By September, some concrete footings for Rampage were in place, footings were being poured, These sound contradictory?
using bagged oats acting as test dummies. I really liked that detail.
In lead:
orginal opened originally opened
mostly positives reviews mostly positive reviews
inter-municipal cooperative owned I would omit this or seek a synonym with less jargon
continued to operate suggest: operated
And that's it for prose, Rjjiii (talk) 06:30, 8 August 2023 (UTC)

(b) it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:


### Verifiable with no original research
(a) it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
Yes, breakdown from template:ref info:

unnamed refs 	28
named refs 	23
self closed 	39
cs1 refs 	61
cs1 templates 	61
cs1|2 mdy dates 	58
cs1|2 last/first 	43
List of cs1 templates:
Cite journal (1)
Cite news (32)
cite news (8)
Cite web (20)
Looks good. Rjjiii (talk) 05:57, 30 July 2023 (UTC)
(b) reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose):
Everything that needs a citation has one. The only potentially unreliable source I see is a YouTube POV video but that same passage also has a newspaper citation (reliable, secondary, independent).Rjjiii (talk) 03:59, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
(c) it contains no original research:

Reference 17 (from the review's start date) is one of many uses of: Joynt, Steve (May 23, 1998). "Wooden Wonder: Old-style roller coasters are thundering in for a big comeback". Birmingham Post-Herald. pp. C1, C4. Archived from the original on November 22, 2022. Retrieved November 22, 2022 – via Newspapers.com. It checks out.
Reference 15 follows the first clause from the same sentence as 17. It verifies the content and the citations each follow the most appropriate part of the passage: Joynt, Steve (May 18, 1998). "VisionLand delivers on its promise". Birmingham Post-Herald. p. A1. Archived from the original on November 22, 2022. Retrieved November 22, 2022 – via Newspapers.com.
Reference 39 verifies the material. From the "about us" John's last name is "Stevenson": John (October 28, 2014). "Rampage Rides Again at Splash Adventure". Coaster101. Archived from the original on November 23, 2022. Retrieved November 22, 2022.
Reference 50 verifies the content and includes the quote from the article: Amy, Jeff (May 21, 1998). "Visionland keeps its eye on the future". The Anniston Star. p. 3E. Archived from the original on November 24, 2022. Retrieved November 24, 2022 – via Newspapers.com.
Staff (July 26, 1998). "Rampage". Birmingham News. p. 1-J – via NewsBank. I'll check this one when I can find it. It's the secondary source paired with the YouTube video.Rjjiii (talk) 03:59, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
All measurements under "Ride experience" header are cited to the sources listed including Birmingham News (1998), the database, and Joynt (1998). The video gives a visual reference for editors unable to visit the area (which include myself right now) and verifies the description of the work. Rjjiii (talk) 20:22, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
Also Pierce (September 21, 1997) and Pierce (December 3, 1997) [a & b] check out.Rjjiii (talk) 20:38, 5 August 2023 (UTC)
(d) it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism:

Earwig comes up clean.
None of the sources checked above were plagiarized.Rjjiii (talk) 03:59, 2 August 2023 (UTC)


### Broad in its coverage
(a) it addresses the main aspects of the topic: 		

(b) it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):


### Neutral
Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
Looks good.Rjjiii (talk) 20:40, 5 August 2023 (UTC)


### Stable
Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
Yes, only formatting and typo fixes in the past six months.Rjjiii (talk) 05:59, 30 July 2023 (UTC)


### Illustrated
(a) media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content:
Yes, public structure photographed by Lewison and released under CC license. Hosted first on Flickr, now at commons.Rjjiii (talk) 06:01, 30 July 2023 (UTC)
(b) media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions: 
Yes, relevant and captioned, Rjjiii (talk) 06:01, 30 July 2023 (UTC)


### Overall
Well-written 
Verifiable with no original research 
Broad in its coverage 
Neutral 
Stable 
Illustrated 

This may take me about a week to get through. If you like I can ping you as I finish up sections. Also, feel free to let me know if you have anything in particular you're seeking feedback on.Rjjiii (talk) 05:48, 30 July 2023 (UTC)

@Rjjiii: All good, just got back from a mini-vacation. Thank you for taking on this review! Everything and anything you can find to help improve the article is good with me. Adog (Talk・Cont) 19:48, 30 July 2023 (UTC)
Plus, if you need any of the material from NewsBank, I believe I still have the email file attachments for your viewing. Adog (Talk・Cont) 19:50, 30 July 2023 (UTC)
@Adog: Thanks for that offer! Could you see if you still have: Staff (July 26, 1998). "Rampage". Birmingham News. p. 1-J – via NewsBank. I wanted to check that one since it's used multiple times and paired with the YouTube video. The other sources that I checked looked good. Rjjiii (talk) 04:01, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
@Rjjiii: Yes, I can send you an email attachment with all articles from NewsBank. Do you have a preferred email? Adog (Talk・Cont) 04:07, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
Awesome, I don't plan to check all of them, but if it's easier you can send them all. I've emailed you via the userpage link, so you should have my address now.Rjjiii (talk) 04:11, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
@Rjjiii I did not know you could do that. I will stow away that fun fact in the back of my mind. All 16 attachments sent (just in case)! Adog (Talk・Cont) 04:24, 2 August 2023 (UTC)
@Adog: Thanks much! I checked out the source I mentioned plus 2 others. They all looked good. Also, I think you had to manually set up your email address that way at some point (but perhaps forgot?). I remember having to do it on purpose and I believe some editors connect to a Wikipeda-specific burner email account. Or maybe Wikipedia handles it different for new accounts?
I'm going through the prose now. Some of my concerns are about structure or arrangement, so I'll let you take a look at those first and then go through a second time for grammar and punctuation. Regards, Rjjiii (talk) 21:35, 5 August 2023 (UTC)

Sounds good! Appreciate the comments so far. I will fix these issues in about a day or so. Adog (Talk・Cont) 19:18, 7 August 2023 (UTC)

Thank you for your patience, Adog. I've gone through the prose. All the other criteria check out. Feel free to ping me if you have questions about my comments or whenever you feel the article's ready. Rjjiii (talk) 06:32, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
@Rjjiii: Alright, article is looking better than ever. I either completed, revised, or removed article text from the suggestions above. Please let me know how it looks, and if there is anything else worth noting change! Adog (Talk・Cont) 15:44, 8 August 2023 (UTC)
It's looking good Adog. The sections that puzzled me before no longer do that. I'm going to look over it probably tomorrow night for any minor errors and pass it. You should be able to nominate it for DYK if you are interested. Also, congrats and thanks to Patriarca12 and Mdaniels5757, as I see they are in the credits here. Rjjiii (talk) 02:47, 9 August 2023 (UTC)
@Rjjiii: Awesome, thank you! No rush either, I should be around tomorrow after my first day on a new job. Special thanks to you for taking on this review. Also special thanks again to these two editors for their help in ascertaining the necessary research (Patriarca12 for their earlier edits to the article that included the sources pointing in the right direction that were vital for content and Mdaniels5757 for their kindness and additional time in looking up the articles via NewsBank and sending them my way). Without these two, I would not have worked on the article or had the resources to do so, equal credit to them! :) Adog (Talk・Cont) 02:53, 9 August 2023 (UTC)