# Talk:Shaitan Singh

This review is transcluded from Talk:Shaitan Singh/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Force Radical (talk · contribs) 09:25, 16 January 2018 (UTC)
I will be taking on this review. As this is a short article it probably won't take too much time. If I don't respond within 3 days I may have forgotten about this review. If such a situation arises please ping me here or leave a message on my talkpage.Thanks — Force Radical∞ ( Talk ⋯ Contribs ) 09:25, 16 January 2018 (UTC)
 Note:-This review may be used by Force Radical gain points for the ongoing Wikicup competition — Force Radical∞ ( Talk ⋯ Contribs ) 09:25, 16 January 2018 (UTC)


### Comments
### Summary before improvements
This article has been put  On hold pending improvments for its Good article nomination. This is how the article, as of January 19, 2018, compares against the six good article criteria:

1. Well written?:  Pass (Worked on during review)
2. Verifiable?:  Pass
3. Broad in coverage?:  Pass
4. Neutral point of view?:  Pass
5. Stable?:  Pass
6. Images?:  Pass
Detailed comments are provided above. Thank you for your work so far. — Force Radical∞ ( Talk ⋯ Contribs ) 12:49, 16 January 2018 (UTC)

@Force Radical: Thanks for the review. I have addressed your comments, please have a look. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 12:52, 19 January 2018 (UTC)

Hi @Wham2001:, I noticed you reverted my edit to the lead of the Major Shaitan Singh article, citing concerns about puffery. I’d appreciate your input on which specific parts you found non-neutral so I can rephrase them appropriately.
That said, I also feel that the current lead lacks key biographical and contextual details and could be improved for clarity and completeness while still maintaining a neutral tone.
I'm happy to collaborate on a revised version that meets both quality and style standards. Thanks! Pyaaz Kachori (talk) 15:39, 6 August 2025 (UTC)

Here's the version I had proposed:
> Major Shaitan Singh, PVC (1 December 1924 – 18 November 1962) was an officer in the Indian Army and a posthumous recipient of the Param Vir Chakra, India’s highest military decoration for valour. He is best known for his leadership during the Battle of Rezang La in the 1962 Sino-Indian War, where he led a company of the 13 Kumaon Regiment against overwhelming Chinese forces at an altitude of over 5,000 meters in Ladakh. Despite being vastly outnumbered and surrounded, Major Singh moved from post to post under heavy fire to motivate and organize his men. His actions have since been recognized as an example of exceptional courage in Indian military history.
I'm happy to make adjustments for tone and balance if needed. Please let me know your thoughts.
Here's the version I had proposed: Pyaaz Kachori (talk) 15:51, 6 August 2025 (UTC)
Firstly, the lede should summarise the article – if you haven't read WP:LEDE please do so now. The biographical details that you re-removed are an important part of Singh's life and hence should be replaced in the lede, which should summarise the whole article.
Second, I'm unsure which key biographical and contextual details are missing from the current version.  If anything, I think it has too much detail about the battle which, while an important part of Singh's life, only occupied a very small fraction of it.
Finally, to give an example of style, His actions have since been recognized as an example of exceptional courage in Indian military history. is puffery.  The current version – For his gallantry actions on 18 November 1962, Major Shaitan Singh was awarded the Param Vir Chakra. – is a neutral summary of the same facts (though it's not quite grammatically correct: the word "actions" should probably be removed).  Best, Wham2001 (talk) 19:29, 6 August 2025 (UTC)
Thanks for the response, @Wham2001:.
I’ve read through WP:LEDE, that’s why I wanted to point out that the current version also explains the Battle of Rezang La in detail, which is already well-covered in the Military Career section.
That said, I’ve revised my earlier version by removing phrases you flagged as puffery (e.g., "exceptional courage"). Here's the updated draft with more neutral language:
> Major Shaitan Singh, PVC (1 December 1924 – 18 November 1962), was an officer in the Indian Army and a posthumous recipient of the Param Vir Chakra, India's highest military decoration for valour. He is known for his leadership during the Battle of Rezang La in the 1962 Sino-Indian War, where he commanded a company of the 13 Kumaon Regiment against a significantly larger Chinese force in Ladakh. Despite being outnumbered and under heavy fire, he moved between posts to organize the defence. For his actions, he was awarded the Param Vir Chakra posthumously.
I’m happy to include biographical context as well — such as his early life and commissioning — to balance the lead better. Please let me know your thoughts on this version. Pyaaz Kachori (talk) 19:56, 6 August 2025 (UTC)
I think that's a big improvement.  I would suggest the following changes:
We don't need to say "He is known for" – that's implied, since we're writing about it in the lede.  I would suggest starting with "During the Battle...".
It would probably be good to say something about his earlier life.  How about "Born in Jodhpur state, Singh joined the army in 1947 and by 1962 had reached the rank of major."  as an additional second sentence?
Best, Wham2001 (talk) 20:14, 6 August 2025 (UTC)
PS I've also removed the paragraph about his wife and son from the "Early life" section.  They don't logically belong there, and when I tried to merge them into the section on the lawsuit I couldn't really see that any of the extra details should be kept.  I think that since neither the wife nor the son are notable their names shouldn't be included.  Best, Wham2001 (talk) 20:19, 6 August 2025 (UTC)
Thanks, @Wham2001: — appreciate your feedback. I've implemented your suggestions: removed "He is known for" and added the sentence about his early life and military career to provide a more balanced lead. Pyaaz Kachori (talk) 21:19, 6 August 2025 (UTC)
Looks great – thanks for being so collaborative on this   I've made a very minor tweak and added a wl to the battle.  Best, Wham2001 (talk) 05:46, 7 August 2025 (UTC)