# Talk:Pat Burrell

Please think twice about reverting my now-sourced (two sources; for the second, scroll down to the August 10th bit) comment again.  I'd happy to take it all the way to Wikipedia: Requests for Comment if you do revert it.  While you're at, give us a source for the female fan comment and learn some Wikipedia etiquette.  If you dispute a fact in an article that isn't outright vandalism, add a {{Fact}} tag rather than removing it outright.  Moncrief 12:55, 31 August 2006 (UTC)

Did Burrell really use a Britney Spears song as his batting music in late 2006? I have not seen any proof of this, while I have seen the other songs mentioned elsewhere as his batting music. Mikehillman 22:27, 5 July 2007 (UTC)
This entire article is poorly written. There are erroneous statistics, and the entry doesn't mention Burrell's 
success against the New York Mets, which is one of the primary elements of Burrell's career.  —Preceding unsigned comment added by Selwyn Harrison (talk • contribs) 20:55, August 30, 2007 (UTC) 

Until someone can provide a citation to an article where pat burrell spit in a woman's face and ryan howard called him "despicable", that part of the article needs to be removed.--72.191.31.112 (talk) 03:43, 25 April 2008 (UTC)

He signed with the Rays all along to be a DH, so can we put that in the roster?-DANO- (talk) 22:46, 17 February 2009 (UTC)

That's not confirmed and, according to WP:CRYSTAL, shouldn't be in the article. Projected to be is fine, but not a flat-out factual assertion. KV5 • Squawk box • Fight on! 02:38, 18 February 2009 (UTC)

This article is written in the typically Wikipedia, vomit-inducing, wannabe-sportswriter style. Awful.  —Preceding unsigned comment added by 67.176.134.41 (talk) 03:20, 14 August 2010 (UTC) 

Hey Sanfranciscogiants17, I appreciate you combing wikipedia for information that does not live up to WP:RS guidelines, but I think you went too far by removing the JockBio.com link from this article. External links do not have the same standards as regular citations. In particular, they may include "Sites that fail to meet criteria for reliable sources yet still contain information about the subject of the article from knowledgeable sources." I think that perfectly describes JockBio.com.
Actually, I think one could debate that JockBio should count as a reliable source. They publish books and have an impressive list of contributors. But unquestionably they rise to the level of "knowledgeable." Fnordware (talk) 15:51, 26 May 2011 (UTC)
I left a note on Wikipedia: WikiProject Baseball about this. If users there agree with you, then you may insert it if you feel that is necessary. Please follow the discussion there.Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 18:01, 27 May 2011 (UTC)

Is the external link to Burrell's Yahoo statistics necessary? There are already five other links to his statistics, and if yahoo should be in the article, it should just be added to the career stats template. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 11:34, 27 June 2011 (UTC)
Since nobody has commented, and it has been a week, I am removing the link. I don't think it's necessary in addition to the career stats template. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 10:43, 4 July 2011 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Pat Burrell/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Killervogel5 (talk · contribs) 00:12, 29 November 2011 (UTC)
I'll be reviewing this, but as with most of my GA reviews, I'll undertake it in sections. Just a note to others that this one is being reviewed. I will leave my first group of comments tomorrow. — KV5 • Talk •  00:12, 29 November 2011 (UTC)


### First tranche of comments
Lead
Link "first overall draft pick" in the lead to List of first overall Major League Baseball draft picks  Done
Do not duplicate "Philadelphia Phillies" in lead. After first mention, "Phillies" is sufficient.  Done
In the lead, a lot of "he... but he" constructions. The second "he" is superfluous in all cases. For example only: "In 2003, he signed a six-year contract with the Phillies, but he batted a career-low .209 with 21 home runs."  Done
"he missed several games with a wrist injury. He hit 32 in 2005" - reads awkwardly, could mean "hit 32 games"...?  Done
"though" adds nothing encyclopedic  Done
"30 home runs in 2007, and the Phillies" would be better as 30 home runs in 2007 as the Phillies  Done
"Phillies reached the playoffs again. This time, they won the World Series." - would be better as Phillies reached the playoffs again, winning the World Series  Done
"A pinch-runner for Burrell (Eric Bruntlett) scored the winning run in Game 5." - not lead-worthy  Done
"and the Phillies signed Raúl Ibañez to be their new left fielder." - not lead-worthy  Done
Link "designated hitter" in the lead  Done
"seven home runs in 92 games" - comparable quantities per MOS:NUM  Done
Infobox
All looks good here.
High school
"eleven home runs" - MOS:NUM says 11  Done
College
Avoid statements that say "current" on things that can change rapidly. Just saying that he was Huff's teammate is probably sufficient, as the reader can go to Huff's article if they don't know who he is.  Done
Three sentences in a row with the same reference can just be combined. You only need the reference at the end of the statements that it covers unless there is something extraordinary that would necessitate duplication. Example: "As a freshman, he was selected as a First-Team All-American by Baseball America and the Collegiate Baseball Newspaper.[4] He was also named the Most Outstanding Player of the 1996 College World Series, joining Dave Winfield and Phil Nevin as the only players to win the award without winning the series.[4] In his sophomore year, he was again named a First-Team All-American by Baseball America and the Collegiate Baseball Newspaper but also by the Sporting News this year.[4]" - first two cites can be removed.  Done
"Also, he was" - remove also, no encyclopedic value  Done
You use the abbreviation "MLB" here without explicitly defining it in the prose of the article. Expand or explicate.  Done
Minor leagues
"seven home runs and 30 RBI" - comparable quantities  Done
"He... he" constructions continue throughout this and earlier sections. Be succinct.  Done
Hopefully these are enough to get you started. My apologies for the delay on getting this started. — KV5 • Talk •  01:48, 30 November 2011 (UTC)


### Second tranche of comments
Apologies for the delay. On we go. — KV5 • Talk •  02:46, 8 December 2011 (UTC)

2000
Comma after "May 23, 2000"  Done
"tied the game at two" - WP:JARGON, consider re-word  Done
You use "the Phillies" twice in one sentence; consider replacing one instance with Philadelphia to avoid repetition  Done
You use the phrase "the next day" at least four times in the paragraph. Try to change some of those out for specific dates, or other wording like "the following day" or something else.  Done
I believe it should be "walk-off", not walkoff, as the Wikipedia article shows "walk-off home run".  Done
"he was fourth-place in voting" - awkward wording; "he was fourth place" isn't proper grammar, and the hyphen is incorrect regardless. Not sure what to suggest specifically.  Done
2001
"beat the Chicago Cubs 6–3" - scores in line should be surrounded by commas: e.g. "beat the Chicago Cubs, 6–3,"  Done
"victory over the... victory over the..." - this is repeated a lot. There are other ways to say that the Phillies won. Consider some re-working of this paragraph to remove that repetition.  Done
"However, his 162 strikeouts were the ninth-highest total in Phillies' history." - that's true now, but as of 2001, it was the third-highest total (note that six of the seasons above him have happened after 2001). Should be re-worded  Done
2002
"home run against Herges" - against who? Do you mean Matt Herges?  Done
"He got his 100th RBI" - informal  Done
"Also," - doesn't add any encyclopedic value  Done
2003
"$50-million" - remove hyphen  Done
2004
"won the game 6–5" - inline score, commas  Done
Hopefully these help. I will try to get to the next group early next week. — KV5 • Talk •  02:46, 8 December 2011 (UTC)


### Third tranche of comments
2005
"after he had 15 RBI" - double "he"; would be better as after accumulating 15 RBI  Done
"Phillies' player" - Phillies is not possessive in this case; remove apostrophe  Done
"Four days later, on June 9," - you can remove the date; it's not necessary to repeat it twice  Done
"left fielders in errors, with 7" - seven per MOS:NUM  Done
2006
There's not much to this section compared to those surrounding it. It could use expansion.  Done
2007
There are a lot of "he... but he", "he... and he" constructions still in this section. Please re-word them or find a different way to say. It's a lot of unneeded redundant wording. This can almost always be solved by removing the second "he" and maybe moving a verb around.  Done
"using Greg Dobbs, Jayson Werth, or Michael Bourn instead in left field"  Done
"Three days later, on July 17" - redundant to give both day and date like that  Done
2008
"eight home runs and 24 RBI" - comparable quantities, so 8  Done
"Hayes's" - second "s" not necessary  Done
"walkoff" - walk-off  Done
You use the abbreviation "NLDS" without earlier clarifying what it means. I think you need to go back to 2007 to add that abbreviation in parentheses.  Done
This completes Burrell's Phillies career. I'll return later to review the remaining years. — KV5 • Talk •  13:01, 17 December 2011 (UTC)


### Fourth tranche of comments
Tampa Bay Rays
Explicate the abbreviation "DL"
Is the second paragraph of this section 2010? The year is never given and is needed.
San Francisco Giants
In re-starting the new section, you should give the year again for clarity
"Giants lost 9–3" - comma after "lost"
"Nate Schierholtz then pinch-ran for him, and he scored the winning run in the Giants' 4–3 victory" - better as Nate Schierholtz then pinch-ran for him, scoring the winning run in the Giants' 4–3 victory
"nine times in 11 at bats" - nine... eleven or 9... 11 (I prefer the former)
"one-year $1 million" - comma after year
You say that Burrell's 2010 totals were career lows, but then his 2011 totals are lower?
Met Killer
This section is fine
Personal
This section is fine, but could probably use a little expansion.
Other than that the article looks good. — KV5 • Talk •  19:50, 24 December 2011 (UTC)

I felt like doing some article work so I popped in and made all the above fixes. Definitely a detailed article here. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 04:51, 25 December 2011 (UTC)
PASS - I am passing this article. Couldn't happen to a better player (that 5 in my username is, well... you know). — KV5 • Talk •  12:50, 25 December 2011 (UTC)

It seems to be common knowledge that Burrell got divorced in 2010, although I can't find anything that would probably rise to the level of a reliable source. The closest I can get are these two articles on BleacherReport.com: [1] [2] Fnordware (talk) 18:15, 4 November 2011 (UTC)

How about we just delete the personal life section if it's not accurate any more? Fnordware (talk) 21:12, 30 March 2013 (UTC)

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