# Talk:William Hodgson (RAF officer)

This review is transcluded from Talk:William Hodgson (RAF officer)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Djmaschek (talk · contribs) 05:06, 20 December 2021 (UTC)


### Initial comment
I plan to review this article. Djmaschek (talk) 05:06, 20 December 2021 (UTC)


### Review 1
@Zawed: Sorry, I got distracted for a few days. Normally, I find numerous errors, but your grammar and syntax are excellent. There is only one issue to fix for GA class. Djmaschek (talk) 19:15, 26 December 2021 (UTC)

In the London Gazette quote, it reads, "and damaged a Heinkel in." Shouldn't this read, "and damaged a Heinkel 111"? If this typo was in the original article, you might want to add "[sic]". Otherwise, please fix.
Thanks, Djmaschek. Yes, the "in" was a typo (possibly an OCR issue) in the html version of the citation that I cut and pasted. It should be 111, and I have now fixed. Thanks again, Zawed (talk) 21:05, 26 December 2021 (UTC)
GA class. Djmaschek (talk) 21:52, 26 December 2021 (UTC)

As there wasn't much wrong with the original article, I will offer some reasoning behind my edits. And an invitation for criticism if other editors disagree with my changes. 

Introduction/Header
Precise details of where he was born (Frankton Junction) are less relevant than the fact he was from New Zealand, which is mentioned twice already. Frankton Junction appears in the main text.
The aircraft he flew (Hawker Hurricane) is a key fact right up there with 85 squadron
The base he flew from should have warranted a mention too, except there was more than one, so I elected to leave that detail for the main body.
The 'medical issue with his eyes' is possibly even more relevant once the squadron became a night-fighter unit. It cannot be stated without a reference, but the reader can infer that connection, hence my inclusion of the night-fighter aspect
'He was killed' versus 'He died'; this is a subtle change in emphasis. Maybe it's just me, but 'he was killed' implies a deliberate act such as murder.
At one point I was going to add that Allard was his friend, but I don't have that specific information, so I settled for colleague.
There will probably be more editing to follow, but I won't necessarily explain every detail here.
WendlingCrusader (talk) 17:09, 20 September 2024 (UTC)

I restored the bulk of the original lead as it was more or less fine as it was. Please bear in mind that the article has gone through a GA review with that lead. That said, there were a couple things I thought were fair enough to include so added those. I also have a preference to drop the RAF portion of the base name from the text since I have always thought it may look odd to the casual reader. I'm not going to die in a ditch over that one though. Zawed (talk) 22:18, 20 September 2024 (UTC)
Ok, I can see you are from New Zealand, have edited this article in the past, and had input to the GA review, so I will leave it with you.
WendlingCrusader (talk) 01:24, 21 September 2024 (UTC)