# Talk:Typhoon Agnes (1984)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Typhoon Agnes (1984)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk · contribs) 05:01, 6 August 2017 (UTC)

"The storm rapidly deteriorated over land, and dissipated by November 8 over Thailand." - Nay comma.
Sure. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"Provincewide, a total of 21 homes were flattened, resulting in 1,326 homeless" - 1,326 homeless unicorns?
Sure. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"Approximately 20% of rice crop were destroyed in Iloilo." - Approximately 20% of the rice crop was destroyed in Iloilo.
Sure. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"In the Capiz province, 265 people died, and property damage amounted $25 million (1984 USD)." - Nay second comma.
Sure. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"Throughout Panay Island, 448 fatalities were reported, at least eight people were injured, five bridges were destroyed, and 35 schools were demolished." - Need numbered consistency. (there are other instances too, fix those)
Good call. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"consequently, over 24,000 people were homeless." - were left homeless.
Think this is unnecessary, but whatever. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"with the Japan Meteorological Agency (JMA) upgrading the system to a tropical depression on the same day.[3][nb 1]" - Notes before references.
Where did you learn this, BTW? YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"Although Agnes initially continued to track northwest,[1] passing through the Caroline Islands,[7] by the evening of November 1, Agnes moved northward enough to feel the effects of a subtropical ridge anchored to its north, causing the storm to turn west-northwest." - There is a lot going on here.
Oh, I think I intended to put a period here. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"Meanwhile, the JTWC elevated the intensity to 185 km/h (115 mph), which would make it an upper-end Category 3 hurricane on the United States-based Saffir-Simpson Hurricane Wind Scale (SSHWS)." - No it wouldn't.
Think I was looking at the wrong line here. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"Approximately 20% of rice crop were destroyed," - Change like above.
Sure. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"Most of Roxas, population 100,000, was underwater due to the storm." - If we wanted population we'd go to its article.
I don't see the harm in mentioning it. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"When Typhoon Agnes made landfall on Vietnam three days it struck the Philippines," - Missing a word.
Added. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"the typhoon dropped torrential rains that caused flooding, which severely affected the rice harvest and winter crop cultivation." - The typhoon produced torrential rains and flooding that severely affected the rice harvest and winter crop cultivation.
If you really want, I'll change it but I really like the sentence as is. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"The Nam Định Province was the worst affected by the typhoon. There, the typhoon killed 134 people and 289 others were wounded." - Change there to where and combine the sentences. It's getting repetitive.
In this instance, I think it's a great call. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"There, five helicopters were dispatched to rescue victims, many of whom climbed to rooftops for safety." - What I just said.
Previous sentence already has a "where" and the bits after "where" and "there" are totally different, so it doesn't make sense to combine them sadly unless I can think of something clever, which given the time of night, seems more likely that I'll just fall asleep on my precious laptop. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"The Philippines Navy sent a "floating hospital" to treat villagers in remote coastal areas." - A what??
Probably some kind of mobile hospital, but I don't have a wikilink. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"They also provided 163 t (163,000 kg) of food, medicine and clothing." - You just said they provided food. Put those figures in the previous sentence.
Oh, great call. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"The Catholic Relief Services donated $65000," - Comma for 65,000.
Idk how I missed this, but added. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
"The Vietnamese government agreed to provide 20,000 short tons (18,145 t) of rice, although asked for foreign assistance to provided the remaining 30,800 short tons (27,940 t)."  - Huh?
Re-worded. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)
That's all. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk ·  contributions) 05:01, 6 August 2017 (UTC)

Ok thanks but slow down the GA reviewing a bit :P Do you want to tell you peers all you did this summer was review wikipedia articles written by some dorky guy from Nevada who you don't know IRL. YE Pacific Hurricane 05:36, 6 August 2017 (UTC)