# Talk:The Moonshine Jungle Tour

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Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.billboard.com/biz/current-boxscore
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Howdy @MarioSoulTruthFan: you requested a GOCE look at this article, particularly the light and sound section. I'm a live entertainment technician so I can make sense of it; upon first glance, I have some concerns beyond basic copy editing that I want to check into. Update will follow shortly. Jasphetamine (talk) 23:16, 18 August 2018 (UTC)

Update: So my concern: there is a lot of marketing stuff that worked its way into this section. I will assume that including it was done in good faith because the products involved are industry standards that are not marketed to the general public. That said it isn't encyclopedic; I'm going to trim out quite a bit of text that is effectively editorializing. I will hold publishing changes for a little bit to see if anyone wants to comment on my assessment. Jasphetamine (talk) 23:47, 18 August 2018 (UTC)
@Jasphetamine: I submmited the article to GOCE after talking with one of the editors which has reviewed the Doo-wops & Hooligans Tour article and draw my attention towards the issues with said section. I was looking for someone who knew how to improve said section as my expertise in the field is far from being top notch. Thank you for picking this up. I'm fine with any changes that you feel that are necessary. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:16, 19 August 2018 (UTC)
@MarioSoulTruthFan: Okay, I'll get going with it as soon as I can. Out of curiosity did you write the light sound section yourself or perhaps know who did? Like I said I am sure it was written in good faith but if more of these sections are going to keep popping up in articles about concerts from the same editor it'd probably be helpful for me to talk with them a bit.Ill start working later today, it's 0630 and I haven't had my red bull yet. :D Jasphetamine (talk) 10:32, 19 August 2018 (UTC)
@Jasphetamine: I wrote it myself. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:36, 19 August 2018 (UTC)
@MarioSoulTruthFan: Okay -- if you're interested in the technical side of live events and/or want to get a basic handle on marketing language vs useful information for Wiki as well as a super basic grasp of how much techno-detail to include let me know we can VoIP while I go through it or something. If you just want it fixed that's cool, but I genuinely enjoy sharing my knowledge in the interest of making people better editors. Jasphetamine (talk) 10:49, 19 August 2018 (UTC)
@Jasphetamine: Are you still up for this? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 01:45, 24 August 2018 (UTC)
Yeah sorry for the delay. It’ll be finished no later than Sunday night. Jasphetamine (talk) 01:57, 24 August 2018 (UTC)
Hi @MarioSoulTruthFan:. I have reviewed the entire article. However, I feel that the Light and sound section is still highly technical and probably includes excessive details. Unfortunately, I don't personally have the technical knowledge to do it justice and @Jasphetamine: hasn't been editing recently. Perhaps you can find another editor who is a subject-matter expert. Tdslk (talk) 07:03, 13 September 2018 (UTC)
@MarioSoulTruthFan:Quick first pass trimming pushed. Ain't pretty, but I have to do so much technical thinking before I start doing any copy editing thinking. I'm going to get some notes back from an L1 i know to double check what i'm drafting. Sorry for the delay, as @Tdslk: mentioned I have been completely inactive lately, please don't feel I was specifically ignoring your project. Jasphetamine (talk) 16:22, 17 September 2018 (UTC)

There are two ways to approach the paragraph beginning with "Derek Brener, in charge of the wireless touring" in terms of making it encyclopedic. It should either be nuked, or rewritten as a description of the philosophy of FOH audio processing used for the show. The latter is the better option but it will be a lot of writing that will be weird to cite. I have detailed knowledge and experience using all of the gear mentioned, so the challenge would be figuring out how to cite a generic version of specific facts. Somewhere in there is a balanced solution. Please advise. Jasphetamine (talk) 16:36, 17 September 2018 (UTC)

There is a bunch of stuff a bot tagged by the way. Perhaps do the best you can with the source given in the article, as for the extra knowledge, perhaps wikilinks would do the trick. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 19:49, 20 September 2018 (UTC)