# Talk:Persona 2: Eternal Punishment

Hello again ProtoDrake, I remember doing the GA review for SMT4 that you'd improved.  Nice work here, since I see this is on the list.
That said, a few comments...  I didn't technically play P2EP so not sure I want to do the review, but looked it over anyway.

The article is currently overwritten, IMHO.  Just too wordy and long in parts.  The "gameplay" section, for example, I don't imagine is very legible to experienced gamers who know the jargon *or* to neophytes.  "other positive or negative effects?"  "Each Persona has different elemental strengths and weaknesses, and different Personas can be used for defense, healing or elemental attacks?"  I get what you're *trying* to say here, but it reads far too technically and too alien.  I'd suggest a more high-level overview that is less specific: characters get into battles with random enemies!  They use Persona special powers!  etc.  It's a combination of simultaneously too much detail (blank skill cards,e tc.) and too few details (what is going on, in general?).  This criticism applies elsewhere, too.  I took an initial pass and changed some of the phrasings...  while I suspect you might get this past GAC, FAC will whine more about the prose if you ever want to try your luck there.
Why does the setting section talk about the high schools?  The main cast of EP aren't high school students...  additionally, talking with people who played P2EP, they said that the bit explaining the "Other Side" and what happened after the events of P2IS is really more "plot" than "setting."  It might still be useful to include, but later on in the plot section, perhaps, at least if you want the reader to get a feel for how the plot is presented in-game, since this is kind of the big reveal, not the setup.  Additionally, they thought that it might be better to focus on the overall "feel" of the plot rather than the specifics; it's a somewhat gibberishy wild goose chase because crazy rumors made up yesterday are manifesting into reality today.
I realize that this is an issue on which editors disagree, but I'd recommend using the actual localized names in the article (Nate, Guido, Ellen, etc.), not the IS names.  It's like referring to Princess Toadstool in Super Mario Bros. (1) as "Peach"; yes, it's correct by virtue of chronologically later games, but if you actually play the game, that isn't the term used.  I assume the PSN release didn't retranslate the game?  Yes, it's confusing, but so is life; better to be confusing and accurate than consistent yet inaccurate.
I take it you can't find any better contemporary reviews of P2:EP from 2000?  That section seems a bit off...  In the same way, lack of contemporary US sales figures is too bad, although I guess something even vaguely accurate is hard to get.
Persona 5 is supposed to not include SMT in the title even for Western release, right?  Too soon to say without a crystal ball of course, but just something that might be dated in the near future. SnowFire (talk) 06:14, 5 November 2015 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Persona 2: Eternal Punishment/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 20:08, 9 November 2015 (UTC)

I'll be reviewing this one again JAGUAR  20:08, 9 November 2015 (UTC)
Disambiguations: none found
Linkrot: none found. 


### Checking against GA criteria
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):  b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): 
"In response to this, the original version was released on PlayStation Network in 2013" - which version? The PS1 or PSP?
" Reception of the game in Japan and the west has generally been positive" - I feel that critical reception could be fleshed out a bit in the lead
The reception box should include (PS1) in brackets instead of (PS)
"For Kitajoh, one of the most notable arrangements he did was for "Maya's Theme"" - composed?
a (references):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 
References check out OK, reliable sources, no evidence of OR
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 
Neutral
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 
Stable, no edit warring
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 
No images used
Overall:
Pass/Fail: 

Once again, I couldn't find anything at all to put this on hold, hence the unusually speedy review. Good work on building another article to GA!  JAGUAR  20:37, 9 November 2015 (UTC)

Thank you!--IDVtalk 21:02, 9 November 2015 (UTC)
@Jaguar: I just did the fixes you suggested, but you seem unsure about "composed". I am, too, as I'm not very knowledgable when it comes to music. Should I change it, or...?--IDVtalk 21:10, 9 November 2015 (UTC)
Thanks for tending to them! I think leaving out "composed" should be fine as it sounds good the way it is. JAGUAR  13:14, 10 November 2015 (UTC)
@Jaguar: Not to be a party pooper, but did you see my earlier comments on the talk page?  I was looking at potentially reviewing the article for GA but figured I'd rather maybe help rewrite parts of the article instead (which would mean not reviewing it).  Do you just not agree with them, or did you not see them?  (I'd personally think that the Gameplay section needs a major overhaul, and the Setting / Plot section needs some rearrangement & refocusing, as the most notable issues...  but maybe this is too high a level of nitpicking for GA.) SnowFire (talk) 14:16, 10 November 2015 (UTC)

I think it's supposed to be goubatsu which does translate as Eternal Punishment. --PSI Thunder (talk) 16:34, 19 August 2017 (UTC)

@PSI Thunder: The Japanese title is Batsu (罰), and just means "Punishment" - the Japanese and the English are not exact equivalents.--IDVtalk 17:03, 19 August 2017 (UTC)
Ok, thanks for letting me know. --PSI Thunder (talk) 17:07, 19 August 2017 (UTC)

@Dissident93: It's sourced further down in the article: In response to the decision not to localize the remake, the original version was released on PlayStation Network in 2013. As part of the announcement, PlayStation Blog released a guide showing which characters had received name changes in the original localization.--IDVtalk 20:45, 21 August 2017 (UTC)

Fair enough. ~ Dissident93 (talk) 20:59, 21 August 2017 (UTC)