# Talk:The Box (Fringe)

This review is transcluded from Talk:The Box (Fringe)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs · count) 20:39, 21 September 2011 (UTC)

"Her first case on the team is at a house at Milton, Massachusetts; though it appears to have been a robbery, with the family tied up and two thieves having dug a hole in the basement, all the people are dead having been put into some vegetative state." - that sentence is rather long. Could you split it up? Also, the "all the people are dead having been..." seems kinda clunky and dragging.
Fixed Ruby comment! 21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)
"Walter comes to determine" - redundant - why not just "Walter determines"?
Done Ruby comment! 21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)
For someone who doesn't know the series, they may be confused at the importance of the place known as Massive Dynamics. The rest of the plot summary does a decent job at explaining people in an out-of-series point of view, with the exception of MD.
Hopefully clarified a little bit better Ruby comment! 21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)
You should mention in the plot who plays each character. I believe that is the standard for TV shows. That would at least provide some context when you mention Eric the Midget.
Done Ruby comment! 21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)
In production, what was the stunt that Anna Torv didn't want to do?
I'm not sure about this one. Haven't watched the episode in a while. When I rewatch it, I'll be sure to add it in (don't yet have the S3 DVD). Ruby comment! 21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)
The "It's really neat!" part of the quote feels kinda out of place, like someone serving hot dogs at a fancy restaurant.
I considered taking it out, but then the quote just seems lackluster and a little boring. Ruby comment! 21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)
All in all, a good read and a fun recap of an episode I hadn't seen in almost a year. C'mon season 4!!! Oh... yea, just the above things, then I'll be happy to pass. Lemme know when you're done. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  20:39, 21 September 2011 (UTC)

I'll address these sometime tomorrow (no time currently). Thanks very much for the review! Ruby comment! 04:47, 22 September 2011 (UTC)
I think I've addressed all of your comments. Thanks again for the review! So excited for S4! (haven't yet watched the premiere). Ruby comment! 21:05, 24 September 2011 (UTC)

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