# Talk:Shiloh (Naylor novel)

Ok, this article needs major cleanup. It sounds like a third grader wrote it and its completely disorganized. I'll do some minor corrections to make it easier to read but we should all work to make this article much better. Noneforall (talk) 16:41, 3 May 2008 (UTC)
--67.186.82.64 (talk) 20:05, 1 October 2008 (UTC)Shiloh 

Marty Preston - the main character 
Shiloh - one of the main characters of the movie (the dog) 
Judd Travers - first owner of Shiloh also mean character  
Doctor Murphy - doctor
David Howard - Marty's best friend
Mrs. Howard - other character
Mr. Wallace - other character
Dara Lynn Preston - one of his sisters
Becky Preston - the other sister
Mr. Preston/Ray Preston - Marty's father 
Mrs. Preston/Lowis Preston - Marty's mother

 the people who wrote the book and made the movie probably want you to see what is happening in your head and hope that you enjoy there book i really think that people should read this book it is really good.

The story of how Marty finds Shiloh closely mirrors the actual event in which Phyllis Reynolds Naylor and her husband, Rex Naylor, found an abused female stray near the Middle Island Creek in the unincorporated community of Shiloh, Tyler County, West Virginia, (not to be confused with another Shiloh in Raleigh County of southern West Virginia). They were on a walk while visiting friends, Trudy and Charles "Frank" Madden, when they first noticed the shy dog. It had begun to rain hard so they headed back to the Madden house. Naylor also used the real community of Shiloh for the setting of the book and its two sequels. The church schoolhouse building has since burned down, and the old single lane, iron frame, plank bridge were due to be replaced as of 2005. Shiloh now consists of only a handful of houses. The area is very hilly, with many winding, narrow gravel roads.
I have moved this unsourced content from the article to this talk page. Cunard (talk) 20:42, 21 July 2011 (UTC)
The real Shiloh kicked and scratched them at first.

According to this article (WebCite) from The New York Times, in the 1996 Shiloh (film), Shiloh was played by a dog named Frannie.According to this article (WebCite) from The New York Times, in the 1999 Shiloh 2: Shiloh Season, Shiloh was played by a dog named Frannie.According to this article (WebCite) from shilohfilm.com, in the 2006 Saving Shiloh (film), Shiloh was played by a dog named Kari. Cunard (talk) 05:02, 15 September 2011 (UTC)

Photos related to Shiloh: commons:Category:Shiloh (novel). Cunard (talk) 06:47, 15 September 2011 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Shiloh (novel)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Mm40 (talk · contribs) 22:12, 23 November 2011 (UTC)
Hi Cunard, it seems like you've waited long enough for a review. I haven't edited intensely for some time, but I've been lurking around GAN and noticed this article. A couple of weeks ago, I saw it at the top of the list and wondered why it had been sitting there. When I saw that Shiloh, which seems like it should pass easily, was still here today, I decided to just sit down and do it. My comments should be up by the end of they day. Thanks, Mm40 (talk) 22:12, 23 November 2011 (UTC)

Thank you, Mm40, for reviewing the article. I look forward to your comments.  Cunard (talk) 22:23, 23 November 2011 (UTC)


### First read-through
Like I initially perceived, the article seems pretty solid. The things that might be big issues, like sourcing or completeness, seem to check out. My biggest concern is how the beginning of the body is organized. 

The "Background and publishing" section: I don't think its first paragraph is relevant.
It seems like the "Setting" section can be split up, with the first paragraph being moved as a subsection in "Plot summary" and the other two paragraphs being moved into "Style."
The "Genres" subsection under "Style" is two short paragraphs of two sentences each
The third and fourth paragraphs of "Ethics" might be combined.
Ruminate on these suggestions; you obviously know the article much better than I do, so if they're absurd, feel free to say so. I'll finish the review when you've addressed them. Mm40 (talk) 22:46, 23 November 2011 (UTC)

The first paragraph of the "Background and publishing" section provides biographical background about Naylor. I modeled it after To Kill a Mockingbird#Biographical background and publication. It shows the reader Naylor's path to becoming a writer and provides context about Naylor's writing style.
Let me ponder about this suggestion. It will be difficult to work the first paragraph of the "Setting" section into "Plot summary".
I have removed the "Gendres" subsection header.
Combined.
Thank you for this initial review, which has helped me improve the article's flow. I may be unable to address further comments until Monday or Tuesday, so I hope you can keep the GA review open until after then. Cunard (talk) 00:59, 24 November 2011 (UTC)

I have integrated the "Setting" section into the "Plot summary" and "Style" sections. To avoid bloating the plot, I included the information as a footnote. Cunard (talk) 04:20, 28 November 2011 (UTC)


### Status?
What is the status of this review? It has been open for nearly three weeks. Is it completed, or still waiting further comments? If it is completed, place it on hold while improvements are made to the article. AstroCog (talk) 15:06, 13 December 2011 (UTC)

Mm40 (talk · contribs) has not edited since 24 November, so the review is still waiting for further comments. Cunard (talk) 06:19, 14 December 2011 (UTC)
I'm putting it back in the queue since Mm40's inactive. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 04:38, 15 December 2011 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Shiloh (novel)/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Schrodinger's cat is alive (talk · contribs) 15:46, 16 December 2011 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):  b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): 

It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars etc.: 

It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 

Overall:
Pass/Fail: 


### Review
I'll try and curb my natural Britishness on spelling, grammar and punctuation, but if I suggest you do something that is wrong or awkward in US English, please let me know.  It'll probably be around hyphens or comma use I suspect, but while I know some of the obvious US spellings, I don't know them all!  I've made a few edits of my own of the smaller pieces, but please feel free to rv if you think I've made a mess, or committed some linguistic faux pas in Americanese.
Overall this is a good, well-structured and well-built article.  All the usual pitfalls seem to have been avoided and this is close to a GA standard. There are a few hoops to jump through first, I'm afraid.

General points
*There are a few too many one / two line paragraphs – preferably try and expand, where possible, but if not, combine with other paragraphs to create something more substantial that keeps the flow of the article. This is true throughout the article.

I have combined several of the short paragraphs to allow for better flow. Cunard (talk) 00:10, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
Is there a reason for two different format of quotation boxes? Fine if there is, but it looks a little odd.
The green quote boxes serve as non-free fair-use text. They are well-written "sound bites" that capture the authors' opinions about the topic. The {{quote}} templates are blockquotes, long in-text quotations. Cunard (talk) 00:10, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
Background and publishing
"Having published over 100 books,[5] Naylor wrote a short story for a church magazine when she was 16 years old and a book in her early 30s." A bit clunky – I think it could be phrased a little better.
Plot summary
Good summary: no issues.
Autobiographical elements
"Trudy Madden, who with her husband adopted the abused dog Naylor saw,[nb 2] said in a 1997 interview…" This seems a bit clunky: see if you can re-work the sentence somehow.
Reworded. Cunard (talk) 00:10, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
Style
'Shiloh has a "compacted time-frame, bounded by the past-tense opening and closing".' I think a source straight after the quotation would be beneficial (I know it'll be the same one as later in the paragraph, but it just keeps it tighter, especially if someone edits something else into the paragraph in the future)
Done. Cunard (talk) 00:10, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
"In Marty's captivating first-person narrative…" This needs dealing with: as it stands it goes against the WP:NPOV. If it's from the source, then phrase the sentence to say that so: if it isn't then drop "captivating".
I've rephrased the sentence by quoting the source. Cunard (talk) 00:10, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
"Shiloh is a Bildungsroman and adventure novel.[29]" Two problems here: firstly it is a bit too absolute for my liking. Try framing it slightly differently, along the lines: "Journalist Cecelia Goodnow noted that …." I see from the source she doesn't actually use the term "Bildungsroman", so maybe [[Bildungsroman|coming-of-age]] would be a better alternative?
I've completed your first suggestion but disagree with the second. The source uses uses "coming-of-term adventure story". "Coming-of-age" is synonymous with "Bildungsroman", so I do not believe "Bildungsroman" is inaccurate paraphrase of the source. Cunard (talk) 00:10, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
Themes
I do have a coupe of issues with this section, which will require a little bit of work, but should not be too onerous. It relates to the point above and has to do with the framing of many of your points. They are all good and well supported, but you write them as absolute statements and it seems as if you are putting forward your own thoughts. (I know you're not, but that's just how it comes across) Try sitting the absolute concepts within a cradle, which will protect accusations of WP:NPOV and of readers disagreeing with what's there.  What I mean by this is by doing what is in the point above: "(Journalist / academic / reviewer / social commentator / shock jock etc) (noted, opined, commented on, observed etc) Judd's inability to love and cherish…" If you could cover the points in the Themes section along these lines, I'd feel a lot happier.
I have framed the points to reflect clearly that the authors of the secondary sources have made those assertions. Cunard (talk) 00:10, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
Reception
Good section: no issues here
Honors
"the Shiloh trilogy placed number seven…" This may be an AmEng thing, so tell me if it is, but this doesn't read right to me. Perhaps "the Shiloh trilogy was placed at number seven…" or "the Shiloh trilogy achieved seventh place …" However, if it is OK in American English, then leave it in.
Reworded to "placed at number seven", which sounds better to my ears. Cunard (talk) 00:10, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
Sequels
Good section: no issues here
Adaptions
Again, it may be an American thing, but is "Adaptions" a word? We use "adaptations", but choose whichever is OK on your side of the Atlantic!
Not an American thing. That is an embarrassing typo that remained in the article for too long. I have corrected the error. Cunard (talk) 00:10, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
Good section: no other issues here
References
A spot check on this showed no issues on the validity of the sources.
There is some over-linking in the footnotes: it's only the first reference that should be linked, so could you slim down on the blue? (Reader Teacher, NY Times, Washington Post all stand out, but there are others) I don't mind if you have a link in the main body and in the footnotes, but only one in the footnotes please.
I don't believe linking only the first reference in the "Footnotes" section is helpful. Readers, when they click on a source footnote, will not be aided in a review of the source's Wikipedia article. They must either find the first appearance of that work or publisher in the footnotes or type the name into the search bar. Second, it is inefficient to confine the linking to only the first appearance. Whenever the references are rearranged in the article, the links would have to be readjusted every time. I'd prefer to maintain the same level of linking to ensure that readers can read about the works or publishers of the pieces with ease. Cunard (talk) 00:10, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
All in all a good article overall – if you can sort this lot out I'll have no hesitation in passing. -  SchroCat (^ • @) 20:21, 16 December 2011 (UTC)

Thank you for these detailed comments. Cunard (talk) 21:08, 16 December 2011 (UTC)
Your suggestions have helped me improve the flow of the article. Thank you very much! Cunard (talk) 00:10, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
Thanks for doing all these - and I think it looks much better now too. I've asked a third party for comments on the two outstanding points (Bildungsroman and the footnote linking) as I'm not 100% sure on the two points. My thoughts are that Bildungsroman should be part of a piped link as it's not in the source, but your point also has some appeal. As for the linking, you really do have my support on this as I also think that there should be more links in the section: sadly all the reviewers for my articles have forced me to remove the links. Still - we'll await the comments on these points from an excellent editor with a number of GA articles under their belt. As soon as they have spoken then we're pretty much at the GA level. -  SchroCat (^ • @) 09:18, 17 December 2011 (UTC)
Third opinion
In the case of "Bildungsroman", I think this is just a case of defaulting to correct literary terminology i.e. if Psycho is referred to as a scary/slasher film for instance, its official genre would be "horror" so to speak, so it would be ok to default to that.  Similarly it is probably ok to default to "Bildungsroman" from "coming of age", provided their isn't contention over the fact it's a coming-of-age novel.
As for the overlinking, WP:REPEATLINK basically says ideally we should only link once in the article so I suppose technically that should apply to the references too.  That said I have sympathy for Cunard's stance in this capacity since the guidelines also state ...if helpful for readers, links may be repeated in infoboxes, tables, image captions, and at the first occurrence after the lead, but the "first occurrence" from which perspective? The article's or the reader's?  After all, readers are unlikely to read through the references section, they are most likely to click on a citation and go straight to the reference, so in that sense whichever citation you first go to can be the "first occurrence" from the reader's perspective, which can be any one of them in theory. So there is essentially two ways of looking at it in the context of references.
It looks like a decent article, I don't think the linking issue is a serious enough concern to hold back its GA pass, especially since the guidelines aren't explicitly clear in this regard.. Betty Logan (talk) 10:23, 17 December 2011 (UTC)


### Conclusion
In the light of the comments above - and because I prefer to have more than less links in the references - I'm going to pass this as a GA. Congratulations - a well written article covering all the main points, nicely balanced and well sourced. -  SchroCat (^ • @) 10:46, 17 December 2011 (UTC)

Thank you, Schrodinger's cat is alive and Betty Logan, for reviewing the article. Cunard (talk) 00:45, 20 December 2011 (UTC)

Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified one external link on Shiloh (Naylor novel). Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

Corrected formatting/usage for http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19970425/REVIEWS/704250304/1023
When you have finished reviewing my changes, please set the checked parameter below to true or failed to let others know (documentation at {{Sourcecheck}}).
Y An editor has reviewed this edit and fixed any errors that were found.

If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.
Cheers.—cyberbot IITalk to my owner:Online 08:25, 4 July 2016 (UTC)

Reverted since the URL is not a dead link. Cunard (talk) 05:31, 7 July 2016 (UTC)

Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified one external link on Shiloh (Naylor novel). Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

Corrected formatting/usage for http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/19970425/REVIEWS/704250304/1023
When you have finished reviewing my changes, please set the checked parameter below to true or failed to let others know (documentation at {{Sourcecheck}}).
Y An editor has reviewed this edit and fixed any errors that were found.

If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.
Cheers.—cyberbot IITalk to my owner:Online 17:29, 7 July 2016 (UTC)

{{cbignore}} added. Cunard (talk) 06:23, 9 July 2016 (UTC)