# Talk:Pueblo speech

This review is transcluded from Talk:Pueblo speech/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Tkbrett (talk · contribs) 01:25, 28 May 2021 (UTC)

Hi, I will be giving this article a go. Tkbrett (✉) 01:25, 28 May 2021 (UTC)


### Lead
Good.


### Background
"In a "crusade" that has been described as...": fix passive voicing here. Should be "In a "crusade" that historian Leroy G. Dorsey describes as..." or the name of whoever is doing the describing.
First mention of Pueblo should specify Pueblo, Colorado. Also, should be linked.
Every sentence in the opening paragraph uses the word "Pueblo", which is distracting. It can be cut from the second and fourth sentence: A contemporary newspaper described the crowd as "a great many"... and When Wilson arrived, he visited...


### Speech
"in memory of soldiers who died during World War I.": Does the source specify which ones? Presumably it was just American soldiers.
Unfortunately, source doesn't specify at all.
More passive voicing at Wilson was introduced by Alva Adams, a former Governor of Colorado. -> Former Colorado Governor Alva Adams introduced Wilson.
Theodore Roosevelt needs an introduction (e.g. former US President)


### Legacy and analysis
"feels that it both": both refers to two things, but you list three.
Passive voicing: A fragment of the speech was included in the play "Mr. Wilson's Peace of Mind" by Mark Stein. -> Mark Stein's play "Mr. Wilson's Peace of Mind" includes a fragment of the speech.


### References
The GA criteria doesn't require you to have the same referencing format across the entire page, but WP:GANOT does mention that you should provide a page number when directly quoting something. Reference 4 (Dorsey 1999) only provides the page range 107–135 of the journal article. If you move it into the Bibliography then you will be able to provide a specific page number for this citation.


### General comments and verdict
copyvio score is 42.9% against a transcript of the speech. The next highest is 23.7%, indicating a violation is unlikely.
Image is PD.
Eddie891:  On hold until the above issues are fixed. I really enjoy these types of articles – ones that are both focused and exhaustive on a very specific event. A nice little page. Tkbrett (✉) 18:11, 28 May 2021 (UTC)
Thanks, Tkbrett what do you think now? I've just gone directly with your suggestions, except in the one place I responded to you. Eddie891  Talk Work  00:50, 29 May 2021 (UTC)
 Pass: Eddie891, it all looks and reads great. As that one source doesn't specify it's best to leave it as is. Great work! Tkbrett (✉) 01:28, 29 May 2021 (UTC)

Article currently states "Whitman later said that it "would have been better" if he had died immediately after giving the Pueblo speech.[24]"  However, there is no other reference to "Whitman" on the page to explain who this might be.  I realize there is a ref to a book, but I'm too lazy to check that out as it requires registration.  I realize this may be a non-notable Whitman, but the total lack of context for the quote is a bit jarring, esp. in a Good Article. CAVincent (talk) 05:03, 17 June 2022 (UTC)