# Talk:Poppin (KSI song)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Poppin (KSI song)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 19:50, 10 January 2021 (UTC)

After our earlier discussion, I have made the decision to take this article on! --K. Peake 19:50, 10 January 2021 (UTC)


### Infobox and lead
Infobox looks good!
"The song was produced by" → "It was produced by" to avoid starting two consecutive sentences the same way
 Done
"Go Grizzly, and Mally Mall." → "Go Grizzly and Mally Mall." since the article is in British English
 Done
"It was released" → "The song was released"
 Done
"The song is a hyperactive" → "It is a" since the "hyperactive" part is not notable for the lead
 Done
"The song is all about" → "The song's lyrics are about"
 Done
Remove wikilink on jewellery
 Done
"The song's music video was" → "An accompanying music video was"
 Done
"The video places the three performing artists" → "The video places the three rappers"
 Done
Shouldn't the song's challenge be mentioned in the lead after the music video?
 Done


### Writing and production
"The song's instrumental was produced by" → "The song was produced by"
 Done
"Go Grizzly, and Mally Mall." → "Go Grizzly and Mally Mall."
 Done
Remove introduction and wikilink for Smokepurpp
 Done
"a chorus and a verse" remove this part, as the source mentions that KSI wrote those parts at the time and not Smokepurpp
Timwikisidemen I have altered this part to be accurate, as Smokepurpp had wrote and recorded but it is not sourced that it was a chorus and verse. Regarding the other two unresolved points, I used the same type of alteration for them. --K. Peake 10:00, 13 January 2021 (UTC)
Remove introduction and target for KSI
 Done
"was played the instrumental with Smokepurpp's chorus and verse during a" → "was played the instrumental during a"
The source does not mention the session being in Los Angeles, unless it is worded in a way that is unobvious to spot which I missed?
Timwikisidemen, the above issues are the only ones that have not been fixed and for more context, you need to remove the introductions because they have already been identified as American rappers in the lead, plus the target is redundant for KSI because he is the main artist; I guess you can get away with keeping the wikilinks for the others though since they are featured, while removing the introductions. As for the other points arisen, the info is not sourced hence my suggestions. --K. Peake 21:43, 12 January 2021 (UTC)
"KSI wrote and recorded a pre-chorus" → "KSI wrote and recorded both a chorus" with the target
 Done
Remove target on feature
 Done
Remove introduction and wikilink for Lil Pump
 Done
"therefore, "it made" → "therefore "it made"
 Done


### Music and lyrics
"track with elements of" → "track, with elements of"
 Done
The verse-chorus form and the song's length are both unsourced
You should mention the bass production of the song per 24
Remove target on soundtrack
 Done
Remove wikilink on lyrics
 Done
"are all about flexing," → "centre around flexing,"
 Done
Remove wikilink on jewellery
 Done


### Release and promotion
"On the same day, he posted" → "Simultaneously, he posted"
 Done
Remove wikilink on cover art
 Done
"and it features Lil Pump and" → "and features Lil Pump and"
 Done
Remove wikilink on cartoon
 Done
"from KSI's upcoming debut studio album," → "from KSI's debut studio album"
 Done
Remove target on Dissimulation
 Done
"to write and record their own verse" → "to record their own verse"
 Done
Remove wikilink on remix
 Done
Target deluxe edition to Special edition
 Done
"of KSI's upcoming debut studio album." → "of the album." since his debut is the most recent album mentioned
 Done
[17][7] should be put in numerical order
 Done
"on 4 April and 9 April," → "on 4 April and 9 April 2020,"
 Done
"for the public poll which" → "for the public poll, which"
 Done


### Critical reception
Retitle to Reception and merge with commercial performance, placing the latter as the bottom para here since both sections are too short at one para each
 Done
"received positive reviews" → "was met with positive reviews"
 Done
Target music critics to Music journalism
 Done
"In his review of "Poppin" for" → "In his review for"
 Done
"someone (KSI) who" → "someone [KSI] who"
 Done


### Music video
"The music video was released to" → "The video was released to"
 Done
"one week later on 10 April." → "one week later."
 Done
The director sentence belongs in the first para instead
 Done
[26][23] put in numerical order, but none of the sentence about the opening scenes is backed up these refs
 Done
"among a crowd of people dancing" part of the sentence is unsourced
 Done
Only Bailey Sok is backed up as being in the crowd; the others are all unsourced


### Commercial performance
The movement I suggested earlier will have this and the critical reception before the music video in the merged section
 Done
"the top 40 of the chart." → "the top 40." to avoid overstating "the chart"
 Done
Number of weeks on the UK R&B Chart is not sourced and there is no history where this is mentioned, so only keep the debut position
 Done
"on the UK Hip Hop and R&B Singles Chart," → "on the UK R&B Chart,"
 Done
"is the 23rd-best-selling song" → "was the 23rd best-selling song"
 Done
Mention the Scottish Singles Chart position inbetween UK and Ireland
 Done


### Credits and personnel
Good


### Charts
Good


### Release history
Good


### References
Copyvio score looks really good at 28.1%!
Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
 Done
Cite Genius as publisher instead for ref 1 and fix MOS:QWQ issues
 Done
Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 2, 4, 11, 12, 22 26
 Done
Remove or replace ref 6 per WP:RSP
Target Insider to Insider (website) on ref 7 per MOS:LINK2SECT
 Done
Cite GRM Daily as publisher instead for ref 15
 Done
Fix MOS:CAPS issues with ref 18
 Done
Grungcake → Grungecake on ref 23
 Done
Cite GRM Daily as publisher instead for ref 24 and fix MOS:QWQ issues
 Done
Cite Official Charts Company as publisher instead for ref 33
 Done
Cite Tidal as publisher instead for ref 35
 Done


### External links
Good


### Final comments and verdict
 On hold until the issues are all fixed; I did notice that you have made improvements as an editor since my last review for you but the main problem with this article is the amount of original research. --K. Peake 09:53, 11 January 2021 (UTC)
Timwikisidemen I may have done some copyediting, but that was only brief.  Pass now, congrats on yet another GA that is well-deserved! --K. Peake 10:00, 13 January 2021 (UTC)