# Talk:Thomas Pilcher

I could not figure where to put this in the article, but it amused me greatly: Pilcher's entry in Who's Who does actually give "hunting, shooting, fishing" as his hobbies. Andrew Gray (talk) 01:03, 2 February 2014 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Thomas Pilcher/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Seabuckthorn (talk · contribs) 10:17, 11 February 2014 (UTC)
Nominator: Andrew Gray (talk)
Hi! My review for this article will be here shortly.  --Seabuckthorn ♥ 10:17, 11 February 2014 (UTC)

1: Well-written

a. Prose is "clear and concise", without copyvios, or spelling and grammar errors: 
b. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:  

2: Verifiable with no original research

a. Has an appropriate reference section:  Yes
b. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:  excellent (Thorough check on Google.)

c. No original research:   Done

3: Broad in its coverage

4: Neutral

5: Stable: No edit wars, etc:  Yes
6: Images  Done (PD)

I'm glad to see your work here. I do have some insights based on the above checklist that I think will improve the article: 

I think the lead can be improved.
Besides that, I think the article looks excellent. Andrew, please feel free to strike out any recommendation from this review which you think will not help in improving the article which is our main aim here. All the best,  --Seabuckthorn ♥ 15:08, 12 February 2014 (UTC)

 I confess I'm not quite clear about some of your concerns with the lead - the comments are very densely presented! - but I've trimmed it a bit and done some general tidying. The other two notes are replied to inline. Andrew Gray (talk) 20:41, 12 February 2014 (UTC)
I think the following repetition of points in the lead needs to be fixed: "He was sacked in 1916 due to a refusal to continue unsuccessful attacks during the Battle of the Somme, and following his enforced retirement published a number of military books, as well as unsuccessfully standing as a candidate for the right-wing National Party in the 1918 general election." "Pilcher was sacked and sent to command a reserve centre in England. From here, he wrote a series of books before retiring in 1919. He ran as a parliamentary candidate for the splinter right-wing National Party in the 1918 general election, "
For this paragraph in the lead "Pilcher had married … while another died on the Western Front in 1915.", I’d recommend the following revision "After a strained marriage with Kathleen Gonne, sister of the Irish Nationalist Maud Gonne, Pilcher married Millicent Knight-Bruce, the wife of Major James Knight-Bruce." Andrew, please feel free to disagree.  --Seabuckthorn ♥ 06:51, 13 February 2014 (UTC)
 @Andrew Gray:: Hi Andrew!, I hope you're watching this page and have not forgotten about this article. If you're busy, please feel free to take your time. No worries and no rush. If you disagree with my recommendations, I assure you that it's okay and none of them are mandatory. As a gentle reminder, I'm putting the article on hold. I hope you don't mind. Thanks!  --Seabuckthorn ♥ 06:40, 17 February 2014 (UTC)
 Thanks - apologies, I let this one slide. I think I'm happier in general with duplicative lead sentences than you are, but I've trimmed it down a bit and hopefully looks okay. I'm not keen on the suggested change for the last para (Maud Gonne is a major figure, James Knight-Bruce at best a footnote, and it seems wrong to give them equal emphasis) but I've worked in a mention of the second marriage. Andrew Gray (talk) 23:00, 19 February 2014 (UTC)
Okay! No need to apologise. Thanks, Andrew, very much for your diligence, care and precision in writing such great articles.  --Seabuckthorn ♥ 23:08, 19 February 2014 (UTC) --Seabuckthorn ♥ 23:08, 19 February 2014 (UTC)
Promoting the article to GA status.  --Seabuckthorn ♥ 23:08, 19 February 2014 (UTC)