# Talk:Nani Alapai

I am questioning the claim in the sources that she was the first to sing Aloha ʻOe since the Royal Hawaiian Band first played it in 1883. The year 1911 of the Columbia Records recording seems to long of a wait unless she sang it before her 1911 with the Band. More sources needed.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 08:48, 8 March 2017 (UTC)
Malcolm Rockwell's discography of 78 rpm Hawaiian recordings should help you resolve that issue. 66.162.249.170 (talk) 02:21, 7 November 2017 (UTC)

Please note that the article as written contains incorrect and contradictory information. The second edition of Hawaiian Music and Musicians, published by Mutual Publishing (Honolulu HI, 2012) cites the work of researchers not cited in the article that corrects some of them. For instance, consulting the microfilm archives of the Pacific Commercial Advertiser, forerunner of the Honolulu Advertiser, shows that she was not the first woman to sing as the official female vocalist of the Royal Hawaiian Band. And, with all due respect to the late (and very great) Kahauanu Lake, she did not sing with the Royal Hawaiian Band for 40 years.  — Preceding unsigned comment added by 66.162.249.170 (talk) 20:32, 16 March 2017 (UTC) 

It is stating all that is known and we tried to state all sides of the story. I don't believe she sang for the band for forty years either but that is what is stated by Lake and "Haʻilono Mele. Honolulu: The Hawaiian Music Foundation". Can you give me the news articles you are mentioning from the Pacific Commercial Advertiser, which states she was not the first female vocalist to sing with the band? Also what page number of Hawaiian Music and Musicians are you referring to here?--KAVEBEAR (talk) 20:51, 16 March 2017 (UTC)
To further separate the sources into claims, I have added where they came from and state they may be contradictory to what was written about her in her lifetime. The only biography of her cited is the one written in 1906 in the Ka Nupepa Kuokoa. Mahalo.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 20:57, 16 March 2017 (UTC)
To dos: add stuff from Kanahele, George S.; Berger, John (2012). Hawaiian Music and Musicians: An Encyclopedic History. Honolulu: Mutual Publishing. ISBN 978-1-56647-967-7. OCLC 808415079....--KAVEBEAR (talk) 05:07, 5 May 2017 (UTC)
Note: The research done between the time that the first edition of Hawaiian Music and Musicians was published in 1979 and the second edition of <ref>' shows that Nani Alapai did not sing with the Royal Hawaiian Band for 40 years and that she was not the first woman to sing with the Royal Hawaiian Band. (66.162.249.170 (talk) 22:06, 19 June 2017 (UTC))

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Nani Alapai/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Mike Christie (talk · contribs) 22:18, 4 February 2018 (UTC)
I'll review this. Mike Christie (talk - contribs -  library) 22:18, 4 February 2018 (UTC)

The lead's a bit short; can we add some more details from the body?
Changed.@Mike Christie:.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 02:38, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
Her father worked as a paniolo cowboy: I had to look up "paniolo".  Since it seems to be the Hawaiian word for cowboy, shouldn't this be "...paniolo (cowboy)..."?
Changed.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 02:38, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
The family surname has always been spelled Molina: I don't follow this: it's "Malina" everywhere else in the article.
Changed to "sometimes".--KAVEBEAR (talk) 02:38, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
She became the wife Thomas C. Lake and later Prince David Kalākaua Kawānanakoa: missing "of"?  And I assume these are two different men, so I'd suggest making it more straightforward: "Her third marriage was to ... and her fourth to ..." or something along those lines.
Changed.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 02:38, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
You now have "first marriage", which is wrong, surely? Mike Christie (talk - contribs -  library) 03:49, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
It's Cecelia's first marriage not Alapai's.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 04:32, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
census records from her second marriage: not "census records", presumably, if they're associated with her marriage?
Changed to records taken during her second marriage.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 02:38, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
her sweet voice enchanted: I'd either cut "sweet" or quote enough of the original to make the point; we shouldn't have this opinion in Wikipedia's voice.  Given the use of "sweet" in the following quote, I think you could just cut it.
Changed.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 02:38, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
During her career, she became known as the Prima Donna or Kāhuli of the Royal Hawaiian Band. The latter is a reference to the Oʻahu tree snails: how is "Kāhuli" a reference to the tree snails?
Kahuli was the name of the snail in Hawaiian.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 02:38, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
Then how about making it "The latter is a reference to the Oʻahu tree snails (Kāhuli in Hawaiian) which..."? Mike Christie (talk - contribs -  library) 03:49, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
Done.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 04:32, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
You give the result of the conflict between her husband and Cohen before describing the conflict itself; it would be better to have it in chronological order.
Can you give more directly suggested changes? Written as now. It explains the conflict and goes into the details.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 02:38, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
I was thinking of something like this:
In May 1906, Alapai was scheduled to accompany the band on their second continental tour of the United States. Her husband, who worked as the driver of a delivery wagon, wanted to accompany the band on the tour to protect his wife, but Joel C. Cohen, the group's manager, was unwilling to raise the extra funds for his travel expenses.  The conflict between the two men resulted in Nani Alapai leaving the tour and being replaced as the lead female singer by Annie Leilehua Brown, one of her understudies.  Cohen aired his frustration with the unreasonable request to the press, much to the chagrin of Nani Alapai, who defended her husband and refused to reconsider."
But if you want to leave it as it is, that's fine too. Mike Christie (talk - contribs -  library) 03:49, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
@Mike Christie: Changed as recommended.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 04:37, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
She was also regarded as one of the first vocalists: can we shorten this to just "She was one of the first vocalists", or does that miss some nuance I'm not seeing?
It is not definite she was though, so regarded leaves things less definite.--KAVEBEAR (talk) 02:38, 5 February 2018 (UTC)
That's everything.  The article is in good shape; I'll promote once these minor points are fixed. Mike Christie (talk - contribs -  library) 22:41, 4 February 2018 (UTC)
Fixes are good; passing. Mike Christie (talk - contribs -  library) 11:18, 5 February 2018 (UTC)