# Talk:Fiji at the 1976 Summer Olympics

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Fiji at the 1976 Summer Olympics/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: MrLinkinPark333 (talk · contribs) 21:14, 26 August 2020 (UTC)

Hello there! As I've reviewed several Olympic GANs in the past, I thought I'd review this article as well. During this review, please feel free to leave any comments or questions you may have with my comments.


### Lead Y
More of a note to myself: once it;s clear that Fiji competed in 1972 before the 1976 Olympics, this would support that it was their 5th time at the Summer Olympics.Y
A summary of Moore's and Tuisorisori-Chambault's results in their events should be added to the lead. The lead feels incomplete by omitting it.Y Note: see next section
I also think a mention of Moore's DNS at the 400 meters and Tuisorisori-Chambault's DNS at the 100 metres hurdles should be added as well, since they did enter those events.Y Note: see next section


#### Additional lead points after initial edit Y
I think the Tony Moore sentence should be split into two sentences as it sounds long winded with "and" twice and "while" once.Y
Also, I think the colon should be swapped into a period in "Fiji's delegation consisted of two competitors:" as Moore and Tuisorisori-Chambault are in separate sentences and not a list.Y
"women's pentathlon and long jump finishing in 18th and 27th in qualifying respectively" - this part sounds like both 18th and 27th were in qualifications. Penthatlon had no qualification and no final.Y --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:13, 1 September 2020 (UTC)


### Infobox Y
The infobox says Tuisorisori-Chambault was the flagbearer, but this is not mentioned nor referenced in the article.Y


### Background Y
"The following year they debuted at the 1956 Summer Olympics" - I think "they debuted" -> "the country debuted" or something similar as Sports Reference talks about the country, not their Olympic Committee.Y
"The country has since taken part in every Summer Olympics (bar 1980)." - I think this would need to focus on Fiji's leadup to 1976 (in past tense) and not all of their Olympic appearances (in present tense). At the time of the Montreal Olympics, the Moscow boycott hadnt happened yet.Y Note: see next point.
"and the next three Summer Olympics up to 1976." - this is inaccurate as there was only one Olympics in between Mexico City (1968) and Montreal (1976).Y
If you were to merge the "different events" part from Athletics (see first point below), then the number is inaccurate in one of these ways: 1) Moore and Tuisorisori-Chambault competed in five events (as both of them were in their respective long jump events). 2) If you were to count the events that Moore and Tuisorisori-Chambault entered but did not finish, it'd be seven events (Moore DNS the 400 meters and Tuisorisori-Chambault did not start the 100 metres hurdles).Y Note: see next point.
As you merged the flagbearer part as well into the last sentence, I think this should be broken up into two sentences as theres two parts that are bracketed.Y --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:13, 1 September 2020 (UTC)


### Athletics (Tony Moore) Y
"Fiji sent a two-person team to the Olympics to compete in four different events." - I think this can be merged to the Background section provided it's mostly already mentioned with a reference. The only difference is that in this section, the "four different events" part is added. See above for additional comment for the different events.Y
"The first was Tony Moore" - Olympedia doesn't specify that Moore was the first Fijian athlete to compete that year. Comparing his event dates with Tuisorisori-Chambault, both of their first events were on 23 July. If you want to state that Moore's first event was on 23 July (like it's mentioned with Tuisorisori-Chambault), it'd work better as it's already in chronological order.Y
"who was 25 years old at the time of the 1976 Summer Olympics" - He was 24 as he hadn't had his 25th birthday yet (he was born in December 1951 per his Olympedia profile).Y
"he competed in the men's 200 metres heats finishing in fourth place" - I think this should be specified that this was in his individual heat. Otherwise, it sounds like he finished fourth out of all heat competitors.Y
"In the quarter-finals, he finished in seventh place in his heat, six tenths ahead of last place runner, Abdul Aziz Abdul Kareem from Kuwait." - this sounds very choppy with the commas. Perhaps two sentences would work better.Y
Also, it'd be five tenths ahead as Kareem was 22.34 while Moore was 21.75. It almost was six tenths (0.59) but not exactly. Otherwise, you could restate "six tenths" -> "almost six tenths"Y


#### General questions for Moore Y
Could the date of Moore's long jump be added for consistency? The dates for the 100 and 200 metres events were stated, but not the long jump.Y Note: see next point.
"held on the 28 July" -> "held on the 28th of July" or "held on 28 July"Y
Any particular reason why it's mentioned who Moore finished ahead of in the 200 meters for qualifiying/quarterfinals? The reason why I ask this is because this format isn't the same for Tuisorisori-Chambault. For her section, it states which places she finished in, not who she finished ahead of. This might be unnecessary detailsY
After a second thought, I think this is a good balance. Stating who he finished ahead of in the quarterfinals is more important than who he finished ahead of in qualification. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:35, 1 September 2020 (UTC)
I see Moore entered the 400 meters but did not start it. Could this be included with adding it to the Track & road events table?Y Note: see next points. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 21:14, 26 August 2020 (UTC)
I don't think he "skipped"  the 400 meters, just did not start.Y
Also, could I suggest adding when the 400 meters was? It's not the same date as the 200 meters.Y  --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:35, 1 September 2020 (UTC)


### Athletics (Miriama Tuisorisori-Chambault) Y
"She finished in 27th place with a jump of 5.79 metres." - This is true. I think for consistency, her placing in Group A should be added as well like Moore has it for the long jump.Y
Also, it sounds like she qualified for the long jump final, but that's not the case. I think by adding her Group A result in qualification, it would clear up any confusion.Y
"which includes five athletic disciplines held over two days" -> "which included five athletic disciplines held over two days" as this is past tense.Y
I see only her best finish in the pentathlon is covered (200 metres), and the rest are skipped. As all five events are in the Combined events table, I think her finishes in the other events should be covered as well.Y
"which saw a tiebreaker for the gold medal between two East Germans—Siegrun Siegl and Christine Laser." - too much detail that I think should be removed. This would be better suited in the Athletics at the 1976 Summer Olympics main article.Y Note: see next point.
As you only mentioned the positions in 4 out of 5 results, would it be feasible to include the statistics as well? I ask this because in the Combined events table, only her overall ranking is mentioned, not the individual event rankings. Otherwise, maybe the individual rankings in each event could be added to the table to match the athletics table. However, I'm not 100% which would be easier to prevent an overburden of information.Y --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:45, 1 September 2020 (UTC)


#### General question for Tuisorisori-Chambault Y
Similar question with Moore: I see Tuisorisori-Chambault entered the 100 metres Hurdles and had a DNS at the event. Could this be added and included with the Track & road events table?Y Note: see next point.
"on the 28 July" -> "on the 28th of July" or "on 28 July".Y  --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:23, 1 September 2020 (UTC)


### Tables Y
Combined events headers I think should be renamed are 100h -> 100mh and 200 -> 200 m.Y
I think Final in the Combined events should be renamed to Total or Points as there's no final in the women's pentathlon.Y


### References Y
Minor issue: The Men's 200 metres 1976 link is missing www in the URL. All of the sources look good for reliability :) Y --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:03, 26 August 2020 (UTC)


### Overall
For this box, question marks are ones that have some issues while N are ones that have bigger issues.

After reviewing this article, I've found that there are a mixture of issues, some bigger than the others. 

1a) Some parts of the article need minor prose edits like clarifying that the athletes results were during their individual heats, not in the finals. Also, some of the headers in the Combined table needs adjustments. For grammar, there are some issues, with the biggest one being the choppy quarter-finals sentence for Moore.
1b) The lead is missing Moore's and Tuisorisori-Chambault's results in their events despite being covered later in their respective sections.
2) A little bit of verification errors in terms of Moore's age at the time of the Olympics and how many seconds ahead of Kareem he was in the quarterfinals.
2c) It's not stated/referenced in the prose that Tuisorisori-Chambault was Fiji's flagbearer.
3a) Parts of the article are missing for the main points. Mainly, most of Tuisorisori-Chambault's results in the penthatlon are not included in prose but mentioned in the Combined table instead. I also see that Moore's DNS at the 400 meters and Tuisorisori-Chambault's DNS at the 100 metres hurdles are not included as well.
3b) There are a few instances where there are too much details. A few I'm confident about are mentioning the 1980 Olympics boycott and the tiebreaker in the women's pentathlon. I'm not sure if mentioning who Moore finished ahead of in the 200 meters (both qualifying/quaterfinals) is needed as Tuisorisori-Chambault's prose doesn't follow any other competitors she finished in front of.
That's pretty much it. I might take a reread of this article after these issues are corrected in case I missed anything. As this seems like quick issues to fix, I'll place this article on hold for a week then recheck from there if needed. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 23:44, 26 August 2020 (UTC)

@HawkAussie: Hello. I've noticed that you have not made any edits to this article after this review was completed but have been making edits to other articles. I was wondering if you were interested in addressing these issues I listed in the review. In a few days (September 2), it'd be a week that this article was placed on hold. Please let me know if you are planning to work on this review or no longer interested in this review. If I do not hear from you or see any edits to the article by September 3rd, I will have to fail it due to inactivity for the review. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 19:27, 31 August 2020 (UTC)
@HawkAussie: Just saw you started editing the article. Thank you! :) I'll take more of a check when I have time tomorrow. --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 02:27, 1 September 2020 (UTC)
@HawkAussie: Alrighty. Most of the issues have been cleared up. Most of the leftover issues are grammatical. The non grammtical issues are: 1) Clairification that Tuisorisori-Chambault was 18th overall in the pentathlon, not in qualification. 2) There was only one Summer Olympics in between Mexico City and Montreal that Fiji competed in, not three. 3) Moore didn't skip the 400 meters, he did not start. 4) I was wondering how Tuisorisori-Chambault's penthalton results should be presented (rankings/statistics in both the Athletics section and Table or not). 5) An inquiry as to if the date of the 400 meters event can be added. That's pretty much it after this first overview of edits. Good work for heavily reducing the outstanding issues in one day! --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 20:53, 1 September 2020 (UTC)
@MrLinkinPark333: I think I have cleared up all of the non-grammtical issues and for the rankings, I do actually mention all five rankings, it's just her best result was put in there first before further adding the other results. HawkAussie (talk) 23:59, 1 September 2020 (UTC)
@MrLinkinPark333: I'll check the rest in a bit. In regards to her rankings, what I meant was in comparasion to the Combined events table, only one of her individual statistics (24.89) is mentioned. While both her points and rank are mentioned in the Athletics section, I was wondering whether it'd be feasible to have all of her event statistics in the Athletics section (14.78, 9.38, 1.55, 5.84). Otherwise, would it be easier to mention her rankings in each individual event in the Combined table like you included in the Athletics section?  --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:10, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
@HawkAussie: Update - The only remaining grammar issues I see are 1) The Tony Moore sentence in the lead sounds long winded by saying "and" twice and "while" once. Perhaps two sentences would work better for flow. 2) "held on the 28 July" ->  "held on the 28th of July" or "held on 28 July" for Moore's long jump. So just these 2 grammar issues and the question about the penthahlon individual event statisics for Tuisorisori-Chambault. You're almost there! --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 00:25, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
@MrLinkinPark333: What I have done is included the ranking for that particular discipline in the pentathlon to put in that extra detail. The rest I have gone and fixed. HawkAussie (talk) 01:50, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
@HawkAussie: The ranking in the table works for me, as you already stated it in the Athletics section. The 2 grammar points check out as well. That's all of the issues. I'll be passing this nomintation. Well done! --MrLinkinPark333 (talk) 01:57, 2 September 2020 (UTC)
@MrLinkinPark333: Thank you for the review. HawkAussie (talk) 01:59, 2 September 2020 (UTC)