# Talk:Gordon Parks High School

In the Academics section, the article says "The school has plans to develop a specific program focus by the 2008-2009 school year." Since we are about to start the 2010/2011 school year, I'd like to know how that worked out. Philippachaucer (talk) 14:49, 31 July 2010 (UTC)

For a history of just 2 edits, this is a very impressive article. Well structured, referenced, and some pictures as well. For improvement, a longer introduction might be good, as well as the inclusion of the school logo within the infobox. Some further expansion might also be possible - create an alumni section if you find more alumni for example. Camaron | Chris (talk) 16:05, 17 February 2008 (UTC)

Here is my review, plain and simple: I have examined the article, and I am going to put the article on hold. I am not immediately failing this article because there is only one problem: prose and formatting. Here are just some examples:

Confusing Sentences
"The school was named Unidale Alternative Learning Center, often shortened to ALC Unidale, for several years after the local strip mall it operated in." - The middle clause should be relocated.
Rephrased. ~ Eóin (talk) 01:23, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
"The small space was expanded at various times with the largest happening in 1997, with a 6,000 square feet (560 m²) expansion." - There is an abrupt transition where the sentence meets with the second prepositional phrase ("with the..."). The topic changes from expansion to the school's largest expansion. In addition, the last clause ("with a 6,000...") is a little bit run-on.
Has been reworded. ~ Eóin (talk) 01:23, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
"The school, with tiny classrooms and no windows cost the school district $300,000 in rent a year." - The sentence starts a separate clause after "The school", using a comma; but where is the ending comma. (This is not really major.)
Comma has been added ~ Eóin (talk) 01:23, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
"Along with a new building the school was renamed after being called the Unidale Alternative Learning Center." - This could mean two things: it could mean that the school got a new building, and was called the Unidale Alternative Learning Center, and then it was renamed again to something the sentence does not tell us; it could mean that after the school got a new building, it was renamed, with its previous name being the Unidale Alternative Learning Center. I think that in context of the next sentence, it is the second meaning, but that should be clarified.
Has been rephrased. ~ Eóin (talk) 01:23, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
"Suggestions were accepted with the winning entry being made by Social Studies teacher Ted Johnson." - Again, when the sentence transitions from suggestion accepting to the winning entry, it is a bit abrupt to be in the same sentence. Consider separating with a semi-colon.
Has been reworded. ~ Eóin (talk) 01:23, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
Redundancies - I see some unnecessary "however"s, "also"s, "a number of"s, etc.
Other Layout Issues - The infobox image has no caption; It would be good if an author could be found for the ninth reference; None of the web citations have access dates; One sentence starts with a numeral; One sentence starts with "There"; I think I saw one or two contractions in there
Author for ninth reference added, added access dates, rephrased sentence beginning with numeral. No longer starts with "there". ~ Eóin (talk) 01:23, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
These are just some examples. Fortunately, the problems are not that major, there are no serious layout issues, and the article does not meet any quick-fail criteria. As far as I see, a good copyedit would bring this article to passing status. If you have any questions, please leave them on my talk page. — Parent5446 (t n e l) 20:45, 11 May 2008 (UTC)

The article is improving, but just remember that those are just examples. Try reading through the whole article and looking for hard-to-read sentences. I suggest looking at User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a, which is a good guide to copyediting. In my free time, I will go over the article and see what I can do, but I will be able to pass the article much faster if you do it yourself, since I also have a couple of AfDs, etc. going on. — Parent5446 (t n e l) 02:21, 13 May 2008 (UTC)
I have one more comment: For the academics section and the lead, there do not seem to be too many sources. Usually, I would assume is is under-sourced. However, in some cases, it is just because one source is covering the whole paragraph. Please check over the information in those two sections and make sure everything is sourced. And that should be it. — Parent5446 (t n e l) 12:08, 14 May 2008 (UTC)

Sorry for such a slow response. I must of missed the message on my watchlist. All of the information their is sourced to the Villager article. The reference could be repeated but I'm not a fan of decorating articles with citations. ~ Eóin (talk) 20:37, 16 May 2008 (UTC)
No problem. Everything is good. Though the article is not FA yet, it definitely meets the Good Article Criteria. — Parent5446 (t n e l) 22:19, 16 May 2008 (UTC)

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