# Talk:Canute (Vinland Saga)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Canute (Vinland Saga)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: TeenAngels1234 (talk · contribs) 15:37, 17 December 2023 (UTC)

I'm gonna review this.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 15:37, 17 December 2023 (UTC)

@Tintor2: Okay. Here we go.
"The character's design was also changed to fit the Western setting of the series". In which way? Explain better.
"..as he did not do research for several sides shown in his role in the story". What do you mean with "several sides"?
"But then he "wakes up"." I would suggest a comma, not a period before "but".
"Both lines were required at the audition, so he remembers worrying about what to do about it." Which lines? Also, this sentece sounds weird placed in this way. I would suggest to move it at the end of the paragraph.
" It was a way of counterarguing with a certain kind of resignation while showing pride as a royal family, even if it was fanned by Thorfinn". Can you rewrite this sentence and explain it better?
"He said that he wanted his words and nuances to show his pride". Who said this? The voice actor? The director?
That's all for now. Good work.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 22:56, 23 December 2023 (UTC)
@TeenAngels1234: Done. Thanks for the review especially in these busy days.Tintor2 (talk) 23:23, 23 December 2023 (UTC)

@Tintor2: The plot sounds messy.
For example: "Askeladd's company finds employment as mercenaries under King Sweyn in the Danish invasion of London by the British and Thorkell the Tall, a former Jomsviking. As Thorkell takes Sweyn's son Prince Canute captive, Askeladd's company captures the prince with the intent of selling him to either side for a profit, with the young protagonist Thorfinn bodyguarding him." The whole first period is confusing to me. We are introduced to them but without proper context. Can you immediately explain why and how this is linked with Canute? Also. Present the Askeladd's company better: a simple "A group named Askellad's company" or "a company under the rule of a warrior named Askellad" would be fine. Same for King Sweyn. "Canute's father, King Sweyn". Explain what a Jomsviking is. Also I did not understand the dynamics of the second part. Canute is captured by Thorkell, and Askeladd's company captures him from Thorkell, right? You have to explain this better, since it's dubious. So the whole part has to be rewritten.
Revised.
You have to explain that Askeladd is a person. I thought "Askeladd" was the name of a company at first, like the Band of the Falcon.
Reworded
"Eadric offers Canute treasure to leave him and Mercia alone". Who is Eadric? And Mercia?
Removed. Very minor characters
"Ketil's farm". What is this palce? Why he invades this place? Is Ketil a person, right? But who is him?
Explained
"but he accepts Thorfinn's choice". Thorfinn's  choice - or suggestion? - is to abandon the plunder plan, right?
Thorfinn gave up on convicing Canute but it also surprised the King that he would never use violence to kill him like Askeladd with Sweyn.
"Den of Geek took several views about the cast, as they found that Canute is often under the eyes of Askeladd, who appears to care about him despite his antagonistic personality.[18] The Escapist Magazine noticed ... alongside him." The first sentence is confusing. What views about the cast? Is important the fact that Canute is often "under the eyes of Askellad"? I can't understand the meaning or relevance of this part. Also, I would suggest to move the whole part I quoted and the whole second paragraph ("In ... still shown to be a Christian") to a new section named something like "Psychology and analysis".
Revision
Ditto for "The transformation of Canute from a shy youth ... as well as his own take on the character by giving him such a role" and " Comic Book Resources stated that Canute's ideology... but with different methods".--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 22:03, 30 December 2023 (UTC)
Revised.
Thanks for the review. I tried arranging everything you mentioned and added the subsection under reception.Tintor2 (talk) 23:21, 30 December 2023 (UTC)
@TeenAngels1234:

I honestly think that "Psychology" should be a separate section and before "Reception", just like what we done on Evangelion-related articles. BTW: Maxime Danesin' essay title ("The European" etc) shouldn't be in italics? I'm genuely asking, since I'm sadly not so much into en.wiki MoS. I'm going to read the whole article another time, and if everything's fine I'm gonna pass this. TeenAngels1234 (talk) 21:11, 2 January 2024 (UTC)
@TeenAngels1234: You see. Lately, the projects have become more strict with notability guidelines so I decided to put those third party sources in reception as it gives more of a depth analysis to the character especially since they are third party sources. If the author were to write about Canute's mind I would write in a subsection from creation kinda like Thorfinn (Vinland Saga)#Characterization and themes as Yukimura and the anime developers often provide commentary about how they view the character's mind. If you pay attention to my recent messages from my talk page you'll see the projects have been deleting articles I made because there are no notable analysis of the character. This resulted in me trying to search for more analysis of famous manga characters like Vash the Stampede or Syaoran (Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle) to avoid similar deletions in the anime project.Tintor2 (talk) 21:59, 2 January 2024 (UTC)

"One he wanted his words and nuances". Possible spelling mistake.--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 20:56, 7 January 2024 (UTC)
Sorry, but where is this? Tintor2 (talk) 21:21, 7 January 2024 (UTC)
I think the issue has been resolved noting as @Tintor2 affirmed my fix. Dcdiehardfan (talk) 00:22, 9 January 2024 (UTC)
Thanks for the assistance to DChierdfan and thanks to TeenAngels1234 for always revising the prose in my GA nominations. Tintor2 (talk) 01:52, 9 January 2024 (UTC)
You're welcome. Sorry for the delay, but as you can imagine I was extremely busy. The article is well-written, and although I didn't watch the show I think it's pretty clear even for non-fans. No important topic seems missing. Images and sources are OK. Good work--TeenAngels1234 (talk) 21:56, 12 January 2024 (UTC)