# Talk:Jacquie Sturm

@Chocmilk03: You've asked for an assessment. As you will have seen, I've made a few tweaks and moved the article to its common name. It's a solid piece of work and it's easily B class. I encourage you put this up for Good article review. That's a formal but straightforward process. It means that once nominated, somebody will come along and work their way through the criteria, give feedback, suggest amendments, etc. If the reviewer is happy at the end of the process, it gets assessed as GA. I see two weaknesses with the article:

it's lacking media files; I'll have a look to see whether any photos of Sturm are out of copyright
the info on her second marriage is rather slim
Great work. Any questions, please ask (here's good). Schwede66 08:13, 7 November 2020 (UTC)

@Schwede66: Wonderful, thank you! Especially for the page move - I was tempted to do that, but didn't have the confidence. :D One small (odd) thing is that the DNZB template does not seem to work for Sturm - use of the template takes you to a 404 despite having the correct ID. (See Millar, Paul. "Sturm, Jacqueline Cecilia". Dictionary of New Zealand Biography. Ministry for Culture and Heritage. Retrieved 6 November 2020.). I'll therefore change it back if that's okay (and add a comment to the article to explain why the template is not being used).
Do let me know if you have any luck finding a photograph -- there are a lot of photos of her out there, but I couldn't find any that were obviously public domain -- and I'll do some additional research on her second marriage, before trying out the GA review process. It'd be great to have a high quality article on her. Thanks again, really appreciated! Chocmilk03 (talk) 10:48, 7 November 2020 (UTC)
Have added photos; not the most brilliant one but it'll do. I could not find the original in the Hocken Collection; that might well be higher resolution. My guess is that we are looking at 1955 based on John Baxter being born in October 1952. And yes, I had noticed that the DNZB link wasn't working. I've notified Te Ara and given that it's an issue unique to this bio, the problem is at their end and it should be easy enough for them to fix. Schwede66 19:10, 7 November 2020 (UTC)
Amazing, thanks very much! I’ll keep an eye on that DNZB link, and also take a look at the GA process tomorrow. Cheers. Chocmilk03 (talk) 22:56, 7 November 2020 (UTC)
I see quite a few style errors and other problems. Lots of overlinking. Nurg (talk) 10:14, 9 November 2020 (UTC)
Thanks Nurg, grateful for the feedback. I have made a first stab addressing the overlinking and will take a further look later and see if I can identify/fix other problems. If there is any other category of error that can easily be highlighted, do let me know. Cheers. Chocmilk03 (talk) 11:18, 9 November 2020 (UTC)
BTW, the DNZB template issue is now fixed. Te Ara did that at their end for all generation-6 bios. Schwede66 21:42, 18 November 2020 (UTC)

Thanks for that, I've replaced the citation with the template in the article. Chocmilk03 (talk) 07:59, 19 November 2020 (UTC)
Congratulations, Chocmilk03, for achieving GA status! Schwede66 02:42, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
@Schwede66: Woohoo! Thanks very much for your encouragement and assistance, really appreciated. I am going to have a go at putting it up for a DYK entry shortly (another new process for me!) and will welcome any input you might have on that. Cheers, Chocmilk03 (talk) 07:52, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
You have 7 days to nominate it; that's the most important part. Are you coming to Hokitika on Friday? Schwede66 08:18, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
No time like the present (just done!). And gosh, I wish. I move back from London in May (all going well and fingers crossed!!). Chocmilk03 (talk) 08:41, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
Oh, London. Keep safe. Life’s different over here; you’ll enjoy it. Schwede66 10:44, 15 March 2021 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Jacquie Sturm/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 22:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)
Can review. shortly Eddie891  Talk Work  22:36, 4 March 2021 (UTC)

What makes FN 17 (Medium.com) a relaible source?
Hi, so the reason for the Medium article being cited is because it includes an image of this letter by Janet Frame, which has been quoted. The letter is described in the Medium article caption as "research photo from Spiral collection in the Alexander Turnbull Library; reproduced by permission of the Janet Frame Literary Trust". The author of the article, Marian Evans, was a member of Spiral Collectives and has also written this article for a reputable source about the history of the organisation. Does that help address the concern? Thanks, Chocmilk03 (talk) 20:52, 7 March 2021 (UTC)
Yes, that's reasonable. Thanks Eddie891  Talk Work  00:44, 11 March 2021 (UTC)
Two images are appropriately licensed
more to come Eddie891  Talk Work  14:28, 6 March 2021 (UTC)
Per WP:LEDECITE, are the citations needed in the lede?
Thanks for that link! I don't think any of the citations are needed; none of the points made are controversial. Removed accordingly.
"Sturm was born in 1927" Is there a reason not to give the specific date in the body?
Nope, added specific date.
"was raised by her maternal grandmother Tautokai until she was four." what about the father?
Further details added from the DNZB source.
"Due to her grandmother's illness" What illness?
Does the rewording help? I can't find anything about what kind of illness it was, but hopefully it's now more clear when/how it arose as an issue.
" favouring returned servicemen" I don't think it's immediately clear what "servicemen" are and what they have "returned from"
Now amended for clarity, thanks.
"Sturm had her first poem published" do you have a date?
Not been able to find one but I'll keep searching!
"when he took over the role from Baxter" date?
1948, now added.
" was commended as being of exceptional merit," by who?
I can't find anything explicitly stating who (all the sources just say something along the lines of, her MA thesis "was commended as being of exceptional merit and awarded first class honours" (in addition to FN8, see also her DNZB entry and the obituaries). My guess/assumption is that this would have been by the university, as part of awarding a first, but can't find anything directly in support.
" she used the pen name J.C. Sturm" is it really a pen name if it's just her initials?
Agreed, now amended.
Saying "It is clear that Baxter, at least, did not view this as a permanent separation" feels a little bit like editorialization given that I don't see that explicitly stated in the source provided
Agreed, removed.
I've checked some other references, they all line up
Thanks!
How does FN 9 meet WP:SCHOLARSHIP?
Not being used as a source as such, but just as a link to her MA thesis. FN 8 is the source for it having been commended as exceptional merit, awarded 1st class honours. Would FN 9 work better as an external link, do you think? (in the same way as her poems?)
No evidence of Copyvio (earwigs flags a mirror and quotations/proper names etc)
Close to meeting the GA criteria, some thoughts above. Nothing major, suggestions and happy to be convinced otherwise on them.  Nice work! Eddie891  Talk Work  01:06, 11 March 2021 (UTC)
Marvellous, thank you so much. Very pleased and thanks for the helpful feedback/copyediting! I have addressed the points above to the extent possible, and happy to work on it further if you have any additional thoughts. Chocmilk03 (talk) 10:59, 11 March 2021 (UTC)
Very nicely done, FN 9 is fine to support what it does, on second thought. Happy to promote as meeting the GA criteria. Eddie891  Talk Work  01:20, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
Thanks Eddie891, really appreciated! Cheers, Chocmilk03 (talk) 07:45, 15 March 2021 (UTC)