# Talk:Ike for President (advertisement)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Ike for President (advertisement)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 19:02, 3 March 2022 (UTC)

I'll be reviewing this! Of course, while QPQ isn't required, if you fancy returning the favor, I have a list of GANs for the taking here. I also plan on adding more politics and history nominations within the next week, if you would prefer to wait for something more in your topic area. In any case, I'm excited to see this nominated, as my grandmother (who was in high school when it aired) cites this advertisement as one of her first television memories.

Thanks for taking the review. I'll definitely review your politics/history article as soon as I get chance. And it is really interesting to know your grandmother's experience. When I was doing my research for "Daisy", someone (on-Wiki) told me that he saw the ad as a young boy, and had "sleepless nights" after it! I don't assume anyone watching "Daisy" today will be scared. Same with "Ike for President"; it was a masterpiece for 1950s, but merely a cartoon today! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 22:33, 3 March 2022 (UTC)


### Infobox and lede
Link Republican and Democrat in lede
Missing end comma after "dressed as a drum major"
Link Jingle


### Background
Dwight D. Eisenhower was the commander of the Allied Expeditionary Force in Europe. It feels obvious, but should specify "during World War II"
"rejected all requests" → "denied all requests"
"and to him as the Chief of Staff"
After "referring to his nickname", I don't believe you need a colon or quotes around "Ike", just a comma
"After winning the Republican New Hampshire and Minnesota presidential primaries" → "After winning the Republican presidential primaries in New Hampshire and Minnesota"
Link primary election
@GhostRiver: Done all! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 05:17, 5 March 2022 (UTC)


### Creation
Either "1952 presidential election" should be linked in the sentence with the Wood quote, or that sentence should specify Eisenhower's presidential campaign rather than just "the" campaign
"$19,500,000" → "$19.5 million" and "$58,500,000" → "$58.5 million" per MOS:LARGENUM
"The Eisenhower campaign spent mostly on their advertising campaign named "Eisenhower Answers America"" → "Most of the advertising expenditure from the Eisenhower campaign was devoted to a television advertisement campaign titled "Eisenhower Answers America"." (checked against source and a little clearer)
Also, to be pedantic, I'd expand the page range in the attached reference to 265 from 266, as I had to go back to page 265 to check my revision against the source
Missing closing comma after "a campaign aide of Eisenhower"
"and told him that"


### Synopsis
"while music plays" → "as music plays"
"as the drum major" → "as a drum major"
Should either have the direct quote from Christiansen or say "which author Paul Christiansen says is a reference to the Democratic Party mascot"
"and the rising sun. The sun turns into an Ike campaign button." → "and the rising sun, which turns into an Ike campaign button."


### Analysis
Link Jingle
"to win name recognition and communicate" → "to win name recognition, communicate"
Negro should be capitalized, with "Negro spiritual" linked to Spirituals


### Aftermath, impact, and legacy
"against the divorced Stevenson"
Link both Ivory (soap) and Palmolive (brand)
"95%" → "95 percent" per MOS:PERCENT and internal consistency
"most of the people viewing" → "most viewers"
"already committed to voting for Stevenson"
"at-least" → "at least"
"was won" → "were won"


### References & works cited
One verifiability note mentioned above, otherwise good


### General comments
All images are in the public domain
For the captions on Cochran and Stevenson, I'd use those to reiterate why they are relevant (e.g. "Jacqueline Cochran, pictured here in 1943, coordinated the advertisement with the Walt Disney Company")
No stability concerns in the revision history
Earwig score shows no obvious copyvio concerns
Putting on hold now! Feel free to ping me with questions, and let me know when you're finished! — GhostRiver 17:28, 5 March 2022 (UTC)

@GhostRiver: Thanks a lot for your review. I think I addressed all the comments. These were my edits. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 17:58, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
All of my concerns have been addressed, happy to pass! — GhostRiver 18:57, 5 March 2022 (UTC)
Great! Thanks a lot! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 19:00, 5 March 2022 (UTC)

@Kavyansh.Singh: I'm responding to your request for a GOCE edit on the article Ike for President. Before beginning, I have a preliminary question. I'd like to edit (move) the article title to "Ike for President (advertising campaign). In the US advertising business, we rarely use the word "advertisement." as it is formal and doesn't really describe the Ike incident, which was in fact, a television advertising campaign. It included the 60 sec. commercial, a comprehensive media plan, a jingle, remarkable repetition and more. Incidentally, I don't think the article requires lots of copy editing; it's very good. Cleveland Todd (talk) 17:46, 31 March 2022 (UTC)

Hi @Cleveland Todd: Thanks for taking the copy-edit request soon, despite the huge GOCE backlog piled up after the unfortunate death of Twofingered Typist. As for your initial question, the article title has '(advertisement)' to disambiguate it from Ike for President (a redirect to Draft Eisenhower movement). The word '(advertisement)' is also used in articles like FA Daisy (advertisement), and other articles like Meatballs (advertisement), Cog (advertisement), Gorilla (advertisement), The Life (advertisement), Second Generation (advertisement), etc. It seems a common precedent, even in political campaign ads. While I don't oppose the change, it would require a larger lever discussion or a RfC at Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Marketing & Advertising. As for the second part, I requested a copy-edit as I was suggested that in the article's recent failed FAC, specifying that the prose is not "engaging" or "of a professional standard" as required by the FA criteria. I know GOCE is good at handling such requests. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 18:01, 31 March 2022 (UTC)
@Kavyansh.Singh: OK. You make excellent points; I really don't want to make a mountain out of a molehill here. We'll leave "advertisement" alone. I will start on and hope to finish the copy edit over the weekend. I have identified several stylistic facets that I think I can upgrade, while keeping the thought processes and excellent logical narrative intact. Cleveland Todd (talk) 14:26, 1 April 2022 (UTC)
Thanks! Much obliged! – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 19:37, 1 April 2022 (UTC)
@Kavyansh.Singh: I've done my preliminary edit. I like to step away at least overnight before doing the final search for misplaced commas and semicolons. Will mark this finished tomorrow afternoon. Outstanding article - really fascinating. I'm old enough to remember the campaign; Adlai Stevenson drove by our school once; the nuns paraded us all outdoors to watch him motor past. We all "liked Ike." Cleveland Todd (talk) 14:35, 2 April 2022 (UTC)
It is really a privilege to hear from someone who actually witnessed the campaign! I have merely read about it and can just imagine what you witnessed! Last year, when I was working on Daisy (advertisement) (another interesting piece of history), an editor told me that he saw "Daisy" as a young boy, and had "sleepless nights". That really fascinated me! Perhaps, that was another era. Thanks a lot for helping with the article, and do let me know if there is anything you feel confusing, irrelevant, or missing in the article. – Kavyansh.Singh (talk) 15:40, 2 April 2022 (UTC)