# Talk:Munir Hussain (commentator)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Munir Hussain (cricketer)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 15:21, 2 March 2014 (UTC)
Comments

Image in infobox is far too pixelated.  Suggest reducing it in size (if you have to use it at all), so the blocky compression artefacts are less obvious.
Done. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"a first-class cricket match for Kalat in 1969–70" that's a long match unless you mean it was in the 1969–70 season.
Done. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
Linking cricket on the third mention seems a little odd to me.
Done. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
Is "(cricketer)" the best disambiguation for him?  It seems his notability stems from his work as a commentator...
Done. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
Surprising that for a player who only played just one First-class match, he captained the team, any reason for that?
Fixed. —Zia Khan 12:25, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"in the nets" is cricket jargon.
Done. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"Until late 1960s," -> "the late 1960s".
Done. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"in the match 13 Test cricketers were playing" from where?
Done. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"Hussain's pioneering of Urdu commentary gave him distinction and fame" reads like a fan review, I would stick to the facts.
Changed. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"he travelled almost every major" travelled to almost...?  And what's major here?  Do you mean Test nations?
Fixed. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"remained the president of the KCCA " you didn't say beforehand that he had ever become president.
Done. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"Well-known cricket commentator, Chishti Mujahid, " Not sure you can claim him to be "well-known", he doesn't even have a Wikipedia article.
Removed well-known. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"a Pakistan's largest" grammar.
Fixed. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"Best Urdu Commentator of the Decade Award " from whom?
Done. —Zia Khan 12:15, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"PCB's" or "PBC's"?
Its PCB, clarified. —Zia Khan 12:15, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"a torturous journey through train, which is the history of his family." I don't understand this construct at all.
Removed. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"sufered" typo.
Fixed. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"his health conditions were good" -> "his health was good".
Done. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
"was offered at Abu " we don't often "offer" funerals in English, perhaps this is a local dialect thing?
Muslim funeral includes a kind pray so this is offered instead of being celebrated. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
" Miandad, in his message,"... his message?  Previous sentence said he attended the funeral.
Fixed. —Zia Khan 01:33, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
Pakistan Times should be in italics.
Don. —Zia Khan 01:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
A few issues to fix, nothing major, so I'll put the article on hold for a week. The Rambling Man (talk) 12:18, 3 March 2014 (UTC)

Done.......... —Zia Khan 01:24, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
Thank you, please ping me when you're done so I can re-review. The Rambling Man (talk) 09:32, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
Thanks for the review! I've addressed your concerns, please let me know if I'm missing something. Regards, —Zia Khan 12:19, 5 March 2014 (UTC)
I've made a few changes, but need a bit of time to re-review, there are several typos and grammar errors that I missed first time round.  I suggest you run these articles through Word or something that checks for spelling/grammar before submitting them at GAN in future, could save a lot of time!  I'll update you soon. The Rambling Man (talk) 15:51, 5 March 2014 (UTC)

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