# Talk:Fantastic Light

Basic narrative written and reffed. Needs development.Tigerboy1966 (talk) 12:33, 21 September 2011 (UTC)

Hi! Tigerboy, I saw your comment on the Thoroughbred WP page and gave the article a quick look. I don't have time for a full review, but here are a few comments based on what I saw:

The "Tabulated race record" and "Tabulated pedigree" sections don't need "Tabulated" in the header -  just name them "Race record" and "Pedigree".
In the assessment section, start out with an indication of what this "assessment" is. It is not obvious to the general lay reader. For example, what does "134" stand for as an assessment? Also, I think that a section header more along the lines of "honors" or "awards" would be better, since the section is not just about the world assessments. Try to make this section flow better - right now it is extremely choppy with a bunch of one-sentence paragraphs. Try combining some paragraphs, adding more prose, and adding bridge words between sentences.
The background section is also very choppy, with a lot of short paragraphs. Again, a more prosy, less listy style and bridge words could make this flow much better.
The lead should be expanded. WP:LEAD recommends between 2-3 paragraphs for a 30 kb article, a size which this article slightly exceeds.
I hope these comments help, and good luck in your quest for GA! Overall, I think this article is in good shape for a nomination. Dana boomer (talk) 12:21, 2 October 2011 (UTC)

thanks for comments, I knew that the lead was a bit thin, but hadn't noticed the other issues. I will get them sorted out before nominating.Tigerboy1966 (talk) 13:18, 2 October 2011 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Fantastic Light/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Dr. Blofeld (talk · contribs) 19:58, 10 October 2011 (UTC)
I'll review this tomorrow.♦ Dr. Blofeld 19:58, 10 October 2011 (UTC)

Infobox
Cite $8,486,957 earnings.
Intro
Can you mention when the horse had his debut and when he retired, his last race?
Racing career
Please wikilink the other horses, missing or not and all through the article
Royal Ascot 1999, date please.
2000 Coronation Cup at Epsom, date please.


### Improvements made
Cite $8,486,957 earnings.done
debut and when he retired done
wikilink the other horses done
Royal Ascot and Coronation Cup dated done
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality: 
B. MoS compliance: 
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources: 
B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary: 
C. No original research: 
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects: 
B. Focused: 
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias: 
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc: 
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales: 
B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions: 
Overall:
Pass or Fail: 
That's fine. I still though think the prose is a little weak in places which would need to be much improved with further research and content if it is to ever reach FA.♦ Dr. Blofeld 09:03, 12 October 2011 (UTC)

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I am concerned that this article no longer meets the good article criteria because there is uncited text throughout the article. Is anyone willing to address this, or should this go to WP:GAR? Z1720 (talk) 00:49, 28 October 2024 (UTC)


### Fantastic Light