# Talk:David Hudson (pioneer)

This review is transcluded from Talk:David Hudson (pioneer)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Coemgenus (talk · contribs) 13:33, 9 December 2014 (UTC)
I'll get started on this review over the next few days. --Coemgenus (talk) 13:33, 9 December 2014 (UTC)


### Chart
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, no copyvios, spelling and grammar):  b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): 

It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 

It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 

Overall:
Pass/Fail: 


### Comments
Lede
The last sentence is kind of just hanging out there. It would be better to make the lede into one big paragraph or two smaller ones.
I split more off the first paragraph and put it on the second, if it looks all right. If you think it might be better to have it all as one paragraph, I'm fine with that - just thought it's best to have two. ~SuperHamster Talk Contribs 05:10, 11 December 2014 (UTC)
Two is fine. --Coemgenus (talk) 02:11, 12 December 2014 (UTC)
Early life
"Hudson's claim that his property was "spent" at the hands of the British is also doubted." might be better in active voice. Perhaps "Historians [or whoever] also doubt Hudson's claim that his property was "spent" at the hands of the British."
 Done Re-worded if you want to take a look. ~SuperHamster Talk Contribs 05:10, 11 December 2014 (UTC)
Religion
"His father practiced Calvinistic Presbyterian Christianity" is kind of repetitive. I think "His father was a Presbyterian" or "His father practiced Presbyterianism" might be better.
 Done Good point, done. ~SuperHamster Talk Contribs 05:10, 11 December 2014 (UTC)
Travel
Is the William McKinley mentioned the father of the president of the same name?
Good question - I'm not sure, but will try to look into it further. ~SuperHamster Talk Contribs 20:09, 12 December 2014 (UTC)
Now that I look at it, William McKinley, Sr. was born too late, and in the wrong state. Just a coincidence, I think. --Coemgenus (talk) 21:33, 12 December 2014 (UTC)
Again, the paragraphs are kind of out of balance. Maybe break up the first one and combine with the second?
Will work on. ~SuperHamster Talk Contribs 20:09, 12 December 2014 (UTC)
 Done - Tried to split based on preparations, travelling, and arrival. ~SuperHamster Talk Contribs 20:54, 12 December 2014 (UTC)
Post-establishment and Death
The last three short paragraphs should probably be expanded, or else combined in a single paragraph.
Will work on. ~SuperHamster Talk Contribs 20:09, 12 December 2014 (UTC)
 Done - Also re-ordered some information for better flow. ~SuperHamster Talk Contribs 20:54, 12 December 2014 (UTC)
References
What's with the "1952?". Does the book not have a clear publication date?
Yep - the book was originally published without a year specified, so the provided date is an estimate provided by the library. ~SuperHamster Talk Contribs 20:09, 12 December 2014 (UTC)
Images
All seems in order. The infobox image could be better, but it's not enough to hold up the whole review.  Nice work! --Coemgenus (talk) 19:09, 13 December 2014 (UTC)

Nice article. Middle name? There may be many David Hudsons, and some of them as different pioneers. Maybe (Ohio pioneer)?
Minor edit: just noticed "majority throughout his life". Which one was it? I would state one or the other. Alrich44 (talk) 15:03, 10 August 2014 (UTC)

Hey @Alrich44: I don't believe he had a middle name - at least, it never showed up anywhere. I think middle names weren't terribly common at the time yet, and that makes it pretty confusing when Hudson's dad and child also shared the same name. As for the wording, I've adjusted it. Thanks, ~SuperHamster Talk Contribs 16:29, 10 August 2014 (UTC)