# Talk:Irving Kane Pond

The man seemed to be relatively healthy even at the age of 80 according to the article. I'm curious, what was the cause of his death, disease wise? 72.229.156.157 (talk) 18:11, 16 March 2010 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Irving Kane Pond/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Redtigerxyz  Talk  14:54, 22 April 2010 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):  b (MoS): 
Sections "Architectural style and philosophy" and "Role in the Chicago school" are looking like quotefarms. See WP:QUOTE for converting quotes into prose. Are the two quotes in "University of Michigan" necessary? IMO, the first one can be easily incorporated into prose.
I followed your recommendation with the exception of the quotes in which Pond himself explains key elements of his architectural philosophy.  I feel those quotes, which are from a public domain work, should not simply be paraphrased and that it is best to keep the full quotes.  I think your advice was on point on the other sections. Cbl62 (talk) 05:43, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
Looks good. --Redtigerxyz  Talk  06:41, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 

It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 
All images except are File:Irving Pond Backflip.jpg are OK. The fair use rationale of File:Irving Pond Backflip.jpg is invalid as there can other images in the world, which can used to document Pond's later years. Also text can effectively have the same effect of the photo. No free-equivalent clause is violated. So Removed it.
Overall:
Pass/Fail: 

The first thing that strikes me is that the section Biography takes up most of the article, which does not follow WP:Layout. It would be much more readable if this huge section were broken down into relevant sections, based on different stages of his life, which would easy to navigate through a TOC. Reorganize the sections. Proposed sections (better titles can be found):
Early life (1857-1879): Early years, University of Michigan
As an Architect
Author etc.
I have done some WP:BOLD edits to address this problem. Though I still think that Architect can be divided further. I have no idea where to split it. --Redtigerxyz  Talk  15:33, 28 April 2010 (UTC)
I like what you did.  Thanks for the assistance. Cbl62 (talk) 05:44, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
Convert the bullets in "Eagle's Nest and related activities" convert in paras. More readable On Second thoughts, the bullets are acceptable in this case.
There is a little inconsistency in the references. for eg. Ref 6 has the whole info for the book, ref 9 does not. Add the whole info to all references. Follow a consistent format as in Wikipedia:Citing_sources#How_to_present_citations (Footnotes/Shortened footnotes format).
I am adding the long footnotes format throughout. --Redtigerxyz  Talk  15:33, 28 April 2010 (UTC)
OK by me. Thanks.  Cbl62 (talk) 05:58, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
The references lack publisher info, which is needed for a reader to easily track a book. Add publisher info and ISBN.
 Ref 6 still misses a page number. --Redtigerxyz  Talk  15:33, 28 April 2010 (UTC)
Fixed. Cbl62 (talk) 05:58, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
The Lead does not fully summarize the article, also does not follow the chronology. Rewrite the lead per WP:LEAD.
I have significant expanded the introduction following the chronology of the article, which I believe provides a fair summary of the article. Cbl62 (talk) 06:35, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
"Pond died in 1939 at age 82" is an abrupt end. How did he die? Where is he buried? --Redtigerxyz  Talk  05:36, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
The date of death needs a ref. --Redtigerxyz  Talk  15:33, 28 April 2010 (UTC)
This seems to have more info about Pond's death. --Redtigerxyz  Talk  16:03, 28 April 2010 (UTC)
I paid to retrieve his obituary from the Chicago Daily Tribune and have now added information on his cause of death as well as citation for the date of death. Cbl62 (talk) 06:10, 30 April 2010 (UTC)
Ref 32 Lorado Taft Campus is dead. Replace it. --Redtigerxyz  Talk  05:41, 23 April 2010 (UTC)
GA PASS Excellent job. I must say I enjoyed reading and reviewing this article. Congrats. --Redtigerxyz  Talk  06:41, 30 April 2010 (UTC)

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