# Talk:October 1996 India cyclone

This review is transcluded from Talk:October 1996 India cyclone/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Juliancolton (talk · contribs) 21:16, 29 December 2015 (UTC)

This looks solid at first glance. I'll post any comments I have as I read.

I'm all for using more colorful language in our articles, but in my experience, "lengthy" has a non-neutral connotation of tedium or superfluousness. No strong opinion on whether it should be removed, just thought I'd mention that.
How's "protracted"? ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  02:26, 30 December 2015 (UTC)
It originated as an area of convection - to be super-pedantic, TCs are always areas of convection, not just when they form. Maybe just "It originated in a weather disturbance that formed..."?
Works for me! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  02:26, 30 December 2015 (UTC)
leaving thousands homeless and forcing 100,000 people to leave their homes - I think I know what you're trying to say, but this is a little confusing for its repetitiveness. Maybe distinguish better between the temporary evacuations and permanent displacements.
I just used the thousands homeless figure. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  02:26, 30 December 2015 (UTC)
Throughout the region, the storm damaged 53,000 houses,[1] displacing about 100,000 people.[3] About 86,000 people sought shelter after the storm,[2] and thousands were left homeless. - ...eh, actually, I'm kind of lost here. These figures don't mesh well.
TBH I forget where I was going with that, so I removed the "displacing" bit. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  02:26, 30 December 2015 (UTC)
1,600,000 ha (4,000,000 acres) of crop fields – 450,000 ha (1,100,000 acres) of rice and 1,150,000 ha (2,800,000 acres) of ground nuts - Those two hectare figures add up to 1,160,000, but 1,100,000 + 2,800,000 only makes 3,900,000 acres. I wouldn't normally worry about rounding errors with such large values, but 100,000 acres is quite a bit of land.
It was a rounding error. The figure would be 3,953, but the other two values caused it to be rounded down. I used more exact figures. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  02:26, 30 December 2015 (UTC)
It would be great to have some follow-up info on the missing fishermen, if available.
I checked, and couldn't find anything for the rest of 1996. Sadly, while researching these storms, the newspapers said how fishermen tend to be ignored in the media. Some die, others just turn up randomly. So there might be a report of missing fishermen, but there isn't always a follow up, and the government doesn't always want to declare them dead or otherwise. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  02:26, 30 December 2015 (UTC)
I've also done some minor copyediting, mostly for grammar and syntax, so feel free to revert me if I inadvertently changed the meaning of anything. Placing this on-hold for now. – Juliancolton | Talk 21:16, 29 December 2015 (UTC)

Looks great! ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  02:26, 30 December 2015 (UTC)