# Talk:Jack Stewart (ice hockey)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Jack Stewart (ice hockey)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Cloudz679 (talk · contribs) 21:34, 14 January 2014 (UTC)

I will review this article. C679 21:34, 14 January 2014 (UTC)
No problems with the functionality of external links, let the review begin.
Prose
An article with a high standard of prose, there are a small number of minor issues. One or two may be accounted for by national varieties of English, just let me know if this is the case.

"their team which has been struggling.[4]" had been
"However, he missed the majority of the 1950–51 NHL season and his career was believed over" Don't start a sentence with however
"doctors described as "most remarkable" recovery, he opted to continue his career and signed with Chicago for the 1951–52 season." a most remarkable?
"He was regarded as a good skater, able to clear the puck out of his zone and who rarely turned it over to the other team.[24]" prose
"Stewart had been actively involved in the sport from the time he retired as a player as he worked as a race timer and in various judging roles during the summers while he coached hockey in the winter.[28]" A bit too wordy, also think 'was actively involved' would suffice instead of past perfect.
"Stewart retired following the dismissal.[13]" - could you merge this into the previous sentence?
"Hockey Hall of Fame defenceman King Clancy agreed he was not a dirty," (a) dirty (player)
Final sentence, "He had two children, son Barclay and daughter Jaqueline.[27]" If that's really just an afterthought I would expect 'He was survived by...', otherwise the information about children should be put chronologically, I think.
All of the above should be resolved. Resolute 02:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)
Content
In terms of content, he seems to have played 5 NHL seasons before WWII, with only four of those mentioned in the article. 39/40 doesn't even have a mention at the moment. Could anything be added? Could more detail be added to the other four seasons?
After the war he played a further seven seasons in the NHL, it looks like the last two are adequately covered, but those first 5 (45-50) seem to be a bit light on content.

I've added a little more, but this is the challenge that led me to hesitate on this nomination for so long as this is often a challenge with defensive defenceman. They tend to be the quiet, steady, unheralded types.  Most of the sources I have pretty much gloss over those years. Resolute 03:34, 18 January 2014 (UTC)
Was he married at all? Is there any information you could add about family history (e.g. parents, father is mentioned but not by name)?

This has likewise been a frustration for me.  I was quite happy to to find even the small bit I did about his father.  And yes, he was married.  The referenced story mentioned he was a widower, which I have added, but alas, no names. Resolute 03:34, 18 January 2014 (UTC)
Referencing
"He was replaced after one season as Pittsburgh won only 18 games in 1962–63.[23]" ref says 16, which is it?
Fixed.  Seems it was my typo. Resolute 02:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)
"He was sent to play his first season of professional hockey for the team's minor league affiliate, the Pittsburgh Hornets of the International-American Hockey League (IAHL) for the 1937–38 season.[3]" The ref says "After starting his first pro season with the Wings’ farm team in Pittsburgh, Stewart was called up and made an immediate impact." I would understand from that wording that this reference is about the 38/39 season.
Realigned references.  I think the Manitoba HOF simply forgot about 37-38 there. Resolute 02:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)
The Edmonton Journal reference (spinal injury) mentions that Stewart "is a member of Detroit's hockey Hall of Fame", I couldn't see that in the article. Perhaps it can be added.
Done, though I used the Red Wings Media Guide as a reference.  This hall of fame seems to have been discontinued after 1978 which is why I struggled to find much in the way of info about it. Resolute 02:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)
"He again shocked observers by returning to the ice, appearing in two games with Chicago following his injury.[13] " was this because it was before the three weeks recommended by doctors?
Seems it was simply for returning at all. I came across another source that might help clarify. I did remove the played two games bit, even though the new source also says the same, as it is logically inconsistent.  Given how early the injury occurred in the NHL season, there's no way he could have played 35 games before he was knocked out. Resolute 02:26, 18 January 2014 (UTC)
Image is fair use with appropriate rationale.
This article seems to be close to passing so I am not going to put it on hold. Looking forward to your comments. C679 22:52, 14 January 2014 (UTC)

Appreciate the review and the comments.  I have responded as best as I can. Resolute 03:35, 18 January 2014 (UTC)
Everything has been suitably addressed. A nice article, fully deserving of GA status. Well done. C679 07:30, 18 January 2014 (UTC)