# Talk:Hurricane Doria

This review is transcluded from Talk:Hurricane Doria (1967)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  18:16, 21 February 2011 (UTC)

"The fourth tropical cyclone, named storm, and hurricane of the 1967 Atlantic hurricane season, Doria developed on September 8 off the coast of Florida" - I think you could get away with just "the fourth named storm and hurricane", since there weren't too many classified TD's back then (I think). Also, you should specify which coast of Florida
Sounds good. Juliancolton (talk) 20:18, 22 February 2011 (UTC)
I would specify which state Doria struck in the lede. Also, you should say how it moved south- and southeastward after moving ashore
Specified where it hit, but I left the post-landfall stuff out... the article isn't all that huge, and I don't want to say everything twice. Juliancolton (talk) 20:18, 22 February 2011 (UTC)
"The storm is estimated to have organized into a tropical depression at 0000 UTC on September 8.[2] At the time, it was situated north of Grand Bahama Island." - both are pretty short sentences. Any way for merger?
I like to variate sentence length to keep the reader's attention sharp and avoid the writing blurring together. Juliancolton (talk) 20:18, 22 February 2011 (UTC)
What caused its early erratic motion? (drifting west, accelerating northeast)
No info on this found. Juliancolton (talk) 20:18, 22 February 2011 (UTC)
"However, relatively quickly, its forward motion slowed and it once again strengthened" - try rewording the first portion of that sentence. It still trips me up
Removed that part. Juliancolton (talk) 20:18, 22 February 2011 (UTC)
"It approached the Mid-Atlantic States with similar a similar intensity, track, and forward speed as the 1933 Chesapeake–Potomac hurricane" - aside from the brain glitch, I totally disagree. The 1933 cane was coming from the southeast and struck North Carolina. Doria came from the east-northeast and struck Virginia
Well, I'm sorry you disagree, but the reliable source(s) say it was similar, and it's a relatively noteworthy fact to include. Juliancolton (talk) 20:18, 22 February 2011 (UTC)
"It dissipated on September 21" - can you combine that with another sentence?
The previous sentence is long enough, so I'm included to leave it as-is (see my above comment about sentence length). Juliancolton (talk) 20:18, 22 February 2011 (UTC)
I'd specify what state Wallops Island is in
Done. Juliancolton (talk) 20:18, 22 February 2011 (UTC)
Is there any more impact? It seems pretty scant for a landfalling tropical storm. The only actual damage is - "At Ocean City, Maryland, a boardwalk sustained storm-related damage" ...
Why the link to 1969 Atlantic hurricane season?
Dunno... Juliancolton (talk) 20:18, 22 February 2011 (UTC)
On hold for now. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  18:16, 21 February 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the review. Juliancolton (talk) 20:18, 22 February 2011 (UTC)
Alright, my only outstanding concern is there not being that much impact. I'm sure there are more than two stories in Google news that would be useful. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  00:44, 23 February 2011 (UTC)