# Talk:Elmer White

Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified one external link on Elmer White. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20071017051521/http://www.baseballlibrary.com/chronology/byyear.php?year=1871 to http://www.baseballlibrary.com/chronology/byyear.php?year=1871
When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.
This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.
Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 22:43, 19 September 2017 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Elmer White/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 14:53, 2 April 2021 (UTC)
Am reviewing this entry MWright96 (talk) 14:53, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):  b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): 
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 

It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 

Overall:
Pass/Fail: 


### Lede
White's nationality should be stated in the first sentence of the lede
Think the first and second paragraphs should be merged for flow
"he died of tuberculosis in March of 1872," - avoid using the date format highlighted in bold per MOS:DATESNO
"becoming the first player from a professional baseball league to die." - becoming the first professional baseball league player death.
I think it's grammatically better the way it is. Your phrasing uses less words but runs the risk of making people think he died as a result of playing baseball. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 23:52, 2 April 2021 (UTC)


### Early life
Any more information on White's parents?
No, that was all the book said about them. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 23:48, 2 April 2021 (UTC)


### National Association (1871)
Wikilink right field, outfielder, playing field and run to the relevant articles for non-Baseball readers
"His season was interrupted on June 19. The Forest Citys were playing the New York Mutuals, and White was playing catcher." - perhaps merge these two sentences together?
"and White was unable to play following the incident." - for how many games did White miss?
Write out about RBI stands for and wikilink the term for non-Baseball readers
"though Cleveland was defeated 9–7 by the Boston Red Stockings." - lost 9–7 to the
"White played over half" - more than
"of the game's" - think the word in bold is a typo


### Death
"According to baseball historian Frank Russo," - maybe add the name of Russo's book containing this information?


### Relatives
"At least one account indicates that White was also related to Warren White," - whose account exactly?
Will put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above MWright96 (talk) 16:28, 2 April 2021 (UTC)

@Sanfranciscogiants17: Now promoting to GA class MWright96 (talk) 07:39, 3 April 2021 (UTC)