# Talk:Jessica Gomes

This review is transcluded from Talk:Jessica Gomes/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: MusikAnimal (talk · contribs) 22:45, 5 December 2013 (UTC)
I think this sounds like a good deal :) This will be either my 2nd or 3rd review, first BLP. It's brevity makes me confident that I will be thorough enough, but obviously let me know if you disagree with anything I have to say. I'll start reading through it this weekend with comments soon to follow. — MusikAnimal talk 22:45, 5 December 2013 (UTC)


### Issues
My concerns are as follows, organized by section.


#### Lead
All but the first sentence begins with the words "She is". I feel improvement could be done to make the lead flow nicer and sound less repetitive. What are your thoughts?
fixed--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:27, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
“She has strong followings in ... the East Coast hip hop community”
While not likely to be challenged, I was unable to find references elsewhere in the article that support this claim.
Since she has worked for Sean Combs, Jay-Z and Rick Ross it should not be challenged. Current citation number 6 includes a paragraph that begins "A major hip-hop fan, she also became something of a mascot for the closeknit A-list East Coast hip-hop community through a combination of serendipity and professional bookings." How would you suggest this issue be addressed?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:11, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
I'm content your justification. Being the reviewer I just wanted to be thorough and inquire. Per WP:CITELEAD the absence of a reference in this case is acceptable given there is sourced content to support it in the body of the article, which is the case, so I think we're fine :) — MusikAnimal talk 17:14, 9 December 2013 (UTC)


#### Modeling career
“For promotional use, she played baseball with the Korean baseball team LG Twins which led to celebrity-status in South Korea.”
Link rot is a bitch. The official website now contains no biographical content, perhaps we could locate a new source?
Found.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 08:39, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
“Between her spokesmanships and Korean television show appearances, she had reached iconic status in Korea by 2013.”
I think iconic may be too strong of a word here given the provided reference. How about a more generic, perhaps neutral word like "celebrity"?
Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:31, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
“In the industry, she is regarded as a "nontraditional" beauty”
I don't consider this required, but I do wish there was an additional source to support describing Gomes' as "nontraditional" to help attribute it as an "industry"-wide interpretation. Oceandrive quotes this word choice from a single editor of Sports Illustrated.
I have clarified the attribution.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:35, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
I have made changes throughout this section that I hope you agree with – namely moving info on Korean ad campaigns to the Campaigns section, and adding some clarification. I still think there is a lot of repetition here, as with "she is" and "she has" etc, but I think it certainly meets GA criteria on prose, so I'm going to calm down and stop being so picky for once. — MusikAnimal talk 01:51, 11 December 2013 (UTC)


##### Campaigns
“She has appeared in Vogue, Teen Vogue, Glamour, American Glamour, Italian GQ and Victoria’s Secret catalogue”
I hate to be nitpicky, but the provided source does not mention anything about Gomes' being in Italian GQ.
Removed.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:39, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
Much like the lead section, some of this section reads like it may have been reformatted from a list into sentences without adding prose. That is, each fact is simply prepended with "she is," "she signed," etc. Maybe some sentences could be concatenated to avoid word repetition.
I have mixed things up a bit.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:45, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
“In 2013, she was listed at number 6 [on Maxim Australia's Hot 100], making her the only person from Western Australia ranked above number 30.”
Maybe I'm blind, but I'm not seeing anything in the reference supporting that she is the only person from Western Australia to break the top 30 in Maxim.
The source must have been revised. I have removed the now-unsourced content.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:53, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
“That year, she was featured in a bodypainting layout as a canvas for bodypaint artist Joanne Gair, who was in her tenth year of producing bodypaint art for the Swimsuit Issue.”
Again with the gosh-darned link rot – however I must question the relevance of noting Gair's tenure at Sports Illustrated.
Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 07:06, 9 December 2013 (UTC)


##### Other
Same issue as with lead and campaigns sections involving potential need for improvement in prose.
I have made a minor change that I hope makes a difference.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 07:00, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
“She was featured in a Yoga video entitled Body Art.”
More link rot 
Removed.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 07:00, 9 December 2013 (UTC)


#### Personal
“Her brother is named Nathan.”
In my opinion this may be considered off-topic, or perhaps more information could be added about her brother to make it more relevant.
Typically in a GA, we want to include as much information about a persons family as possible. I.e., we want to name them all and give basic identification whenever possible.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 06:55, 9 December 2013 (UTC)
You would know more than me! WP:BLPNAME states mention of non-notable family members should be omitted if not properly sourced, which it is, so no qualms. — MusikAnimal talk 02:12, 11 December 2013 (UTC)
And that's all I've got. Again please let me know if you disagree about anything. — MusikAnimal talk 05:44, 9 December 2013 (UTC)

Y Looks good! The article, I mean, not just the subject's picture  Congrats! — MusikAnimal talk 02:12, 11 December 2013 (UTC)

This article lists Gomes appearing in various "most desirable women" polls, but it's all either sourced to WP:PRIMARY magazine polls, or articles which mention Gomes's ranking in passing while talking about a more interesting result. Shouldn't this be restricted to poll results which got significant secondary-source coverage? "Gomes was listed at number 34, 8 and 94 in the 2012, 2013 and 2014" is presented as significant, but may not be - perhaps it's a fair reflection of the peak of her fame in 2013, perhaps AskMen just had her picture on the cover in the same month that they asked readers to think of some women for a poll. --McGeddon (talk) 09:01, 22 February 2014 (UTC)

Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified 2 external links on Jessica Gomes. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.news.com.au/perthnow/story/0%2C21598%2C16560256-2761%2C00.html
Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20131012115738/http://www.timeinc.com/pressroom/detail.php?id=releases%2F02122008.php to http://www.timeinc.com/pressroom/detail.php?id=releases%2F02122008.php
When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.
This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.
Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 23:50, 21 April 2017 (UTC)

Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified 2 external links on Jessica Gomes. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20111016190932/http://www.perthnow.com.au/entertainment/perth-confidential/jessica-gomes-a-bikini-and-a-hose-is-this-maxim-cover-sexist-or-hot/story-e6frg30l-1226165219833 to http://www.perthnow.com.au/entertainment/perth-confidential/jessica-gomes-a-bikini-and-a-hose-is-this-maxim-cover-sexist-or-hot/story-e6frg30l-1226165219833
Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20131012103731/http://au.news.yahoo.com/qld/a/18382794/face-of-david-jones-jessica-gomes-brushes-off-weight-taunts/ to http://au.news.yahoo.com/qld/a/18382794/face-of-david-jones-jessica-gomes-brushes-off-weight-taunts/
When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.
This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.
Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 22:14, 24 November 2017 (UTC)

JESSICA GOMES IS NO LONGER WITH WOMEN/360 MANAGEMENT.  — Preceding unsigned comment added by 143.223.5.249 (talk) 22:10, 3 June 2019 (UTC)