# Talk:Joseph Parry

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Joseph Parry/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Dr. Blofeld (talk · contribs) 12:04, 2 June 2016 (UTC)

Will review this tomorrow..♦ Dr. Blofeld 19:12, 3 June 2016 (UTC)

Lede
" Parry was also the first Welshman to compose an opera; his opera, Blodwen, was the first opera" -do we need to mention "opera" three times?  Done
Perhaps specifically mention Cyfarthfa Ironworks  Done
Link University of Cambridge  Done
Return to Wales
"He competed in the eisteddfod " -start paragraphs with "Parry".  Done
"But Parry had long wondered how his music would be received in his native Wales. In 1864, he sent an anthem to the National Eisteddfod of Wales at Llandudno. " -a bit clumsy, try "Curious as to how his music would be received in his native Wales, in 1864, he sent an anthem to the National Eisteddfod of Wales at Llandudno".  Done
"Parry was offered the opportunity to study for a year under Dr Davies of Swansea, followed by a one year scholarship at the Royal Academy of Music.[7] He had to refuse both offers since he had a wife and child in the United States dependent on him for support.[7] By this time, Parry's musical ability had become well-known in Wales and in the United States. " -not clear "by this time" refers to as you've not mentioned a date.
References show the National Eisteddfod at Aberstywyth in 1865-changed to 1865 as this was when the competition was at Aberstywyth, when Parry visited Wales and was offered the scholarships. We hope (talk) 14:30, 7 June 2016 (UTC)
Professor and Doctor of music
He worked -Parry worked  Done
"In addition to his university duties, Parry was frequently away, working as an adjudicator and conducting concerts of his compositions" -"In addition to his university duties, Parry frequently travelled as an adjudicator and conducting concerts of his compositions".  Done
Personal life
"David Jenkins, who was a student and assistant to Parry at Aberystwyth, described him as impulsive and unable to criticise his own works, too erratic to be a good conductor and too impatient for all but advanced students, but with a boyish enthusiasm, especially for music" -does anything need quoting here?
Jenkins wrote what might be considered a eulogy here only 3 days after Parry's death.  There are some areas which might be considered for a quote box, and since this is from 1903, no worries re: copyright. We hope (talk) 14:30, 7 June 2016 (UTC)
Compositions
"The London Welsh Chorale and The British Sinfonietta" -presumably singing together as something can only premiere once!
I left only the London Welsh Chorale, as they are mentioned by the refs. We hope (talk) 14:30, 7 June 2016 (UTC)
♦ Dr. Blofeld 13:53, 7 June 2016 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality: 
B. MoS compliance: 
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources: 
B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary: 
C. No original research: 
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects: 
B. Focused: 
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias: 
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc: 
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales: 
B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions: 
Overall:
Pass or Fail: ♦ Dr. Blofeld 10:45, 8 June 2016 (UTC)
Excellent job!♦ Dr. Blofeld 10:52, 8 June 2016 (UTC)