# Talk:John Trask (cricketer)

This review is transcluded from Talk:John Trask (cricketer)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 08:57, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
I'll review this article. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 08:57, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
Lead

Is it worth including "during the late 19th century" when his whole life was in the late 19th century?
Fair point, cut. Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
As a cricketer, he ===>>> As a cricketer, Trask
Changed. Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
Maybe add a sentence on the Doyle reference?
Added a line, how's that? Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
Early

Swap the second or third "after" in the first paragraph with a synonym (e.g. "following")
Varied the second and the third. Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
despatch <<<=== typo
Good spot, fixed. Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
Cricket

debut first-class cricket match <<<=== Is "debut" a correct term for a team's first match? I would use that for a player, but would think something like "inaugural" would fit better for a team.
I think debut is fine, but inaugural is better. Changed. Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
Poor results in 1885 saw Somerset lose their first-class status for the following seasons <<<=== Did they formally have "first-class" cricket back then, or was this determined retroactively?
A bit of both. It wasn't as formalised then as now, but it was very much a "thing", though the terminology was sometimes a bit loose. Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
Suggest starting the last paragraph with "Trask" instead of "He"
Done. Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
"making 78" <<=== Is there a way to avoid repeat "made/making" here?
Changed "..made his highest.." to "..reached his highest.." Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
Book

Suggest starting this section with something like: Trask was thought to have been referred to in one of Arthur Conan Doyle's books. With the current setup, it's not clear why the article just starts talking about Doyle.
Blended your suggestion with the current wording, let me know what you think. Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
Per MOS:SIR, is it correct to use "Sir" when referring to someone?
MOS:SIR says their use is optional, so yes. Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
Overall

Suggest titling ref 2 as "John Trask's death reported" even if that's not the real title, or just doing something to avoid the error.
I've used the first part of the opening sentence: "The sad intelligence of the death from cholera in the Soudan of Surgeon-Captain John Trask". Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
It isn't recommended to use "Bibliography" as a section header because it's not clear if it's works cited or the subject's works.
Sure, but the MOS specifically says it is permitted "Several alternate titles ("Sources", "Citations", "Bibliography") may also be used.." As I'm not writing about an author, I don't think there is too much scope for confusion. Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
Looks great! Just a few small things, some of which I wasn't sure about. On hold. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 11:07, 14 May 2022 (UTC)

@Sportsfan77777: Thanks for the review; responded to each point above, let me know what you think. Harrias (he/him) • talk 12:43, 14 May 2022 (UTC)
Passing, good work! Sportsfan77777 (talk) 13:48, 14 May 2022 (UTC)