# Talk:Moston Brook

This review is transcluded from Talk:Moston Brook/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Ceranthor (talk · contribs) 18:29, 9 May 2019 (UTC)

I will review this. ceranthor 18:29, 9 May 2019 (UTC)

Many thanks for taking the time to review the article. I look forward to seeing your feedback in due course. Cheers, DelUsion23 (talk) 20:20, 9 May 2019 (UTC)


### Prose
Lead
"The brook is formed at the confluence of Bower Brook and Hole Bottom Brook near the Rochdale Canal in Failsworth in the Metropolitan Borough of Oldham. " - nothing technically wrong with this sentence; it just gets a bit overwhelming with the introduction of so many nouns. Can you split this into two shorter sentences perhaps?  Done
"It flows south west" - why two separate words? Or is this supposed to read "south to west"?  Done
" culverted almost all of the remaining route to its meeting the River Irk." - might be worth linking culvert for a lay reader  Done
"It has a total length of around 3.7 miles (6 kilometres)." - should be "about", not "around"  Done
"Clay and sand pits which once fed brick works, were later used for landfill sites." - why the comma here?  Done added comma earlier in sentence.
"Its heavy industrial use and urban location led to the brook becoming badly polluted." - by "Its" do you mean the last landfill?  Done rephrased to emphasise that it is the brook which is being referred to, not the landfill.
Lead is a bit long; might be worth combining into two longer paragraphs  Done
Course
"The brook flows approximately 3.7 miles (6.0 km) from its source to its confluence with the River Irk, forming part of the River Irwell drainage basin.[1] [...] The source of Moston Brook is now hidden" - confused... what exactly is its source? Does it have a name?  Done added info and split sentence so that it didn't get too long.
"which flows from the Werneth area[3] and close to a pumping station in South Chadderton.[2] " - Not sure you need the "and" here  Done It flows from Werneth, then passes the pumping station. Made this clearer.
"The brook then flows south west," - same note as lead; why two words?  Done
"The main part of the brook that is currently above ground is broken down into the following areas:[8]" - nitpick, but you should be consistent with using punctuation at the end of each of these points or not  Done
History
"alley slopes were smoothed, paths and steps were incorporated, drainage channels were installed, and stabilisation work was conducted.[4]" - elsewhere you haven't used the serial comma; you need to be consistent throughout the article  Done
Environment
"It was considered one of the most difficult bodies of water in the Water Framework Directive.[1] " - most difficult meaning what, though?  Done rephrased. The most challenging to improve (in the context of the section, Pollution)
"There is a local friends group called Moston Brook Friends Group.[8]" - any more info on what they specifically do? Just a bit more info would be useful.  Done
"The Rochdale Canal Special Area of Conservation (SAC) and Site of Special Scientific Interest (SSSI) which is a European Designated Site of international conservation importance and the Moston Fairway Nature Reserve (former railway sidings at Moston) a Site of Biological Importance (SBI) which is a designated site of sub-regional nature conservation importance.[24]" - would suggest rewriting this, as currently it took me two reads to figure out which "two sites" you meant (just a lot of verbiage)  Done
Recreation
"For example, an annual Fun Day is held on Lower Failsworth Memorial Land.[8]" - for whom? what activities does it include?  Done
"the project officer has conducted bat surveys with the local community.[22]" - are bat surveys considered recreation? Unsure about that, ha...  Done It's more of a tour to see the bats, rather than a survey. Changed to reflect this.


### References
"where a short section is still in daylight.[4][2][3]" - nitpick, but these citations should be in ascending order, ie. [2][3][4]  Done
"Moston itself was mostly noted for silk weaving.[12][4] " - same as above  Done
What makes Hidden Manchester Map a reliable source per WP:RS?  Done The source is a collection of information about underground tunnels and rivers in the Manchester area. The source itself states its sources in a section. The statements it supports regard the river's location as it passes underground. I believe the map on the site is a useful resource for this.
What makes RowMaps a reliable source?  Done The ref is used to support the statement that footpath 79 runs alongside the brook. The source is a repository of the open data that has been released by UK councils. It simply makes it easier to view this data. The original data for Greater Manchester is referenced on the source website here.
What makes British History Online a reliable source?  Done Their website states: "British History Online is a not-for-profit digital library based at the Institute of Historical Research. It brings together material for British history from the collections of libraries, archives, museums and academics. These primary and secondary sources, which range from medieval to twentieth century, are easily searchable and browsable online.". The source is used to support the statement that Moston once produced silk. I could instead use the original reference, but the fact that this website hosts the transcription of the hard copy makes it easier to verify.
What makes Another Music a reliable source?  Done this is probably the weakest source in the article, it being a blog. It appears that the statement it supports is amply covered by Ref 4, so I have decided to remove it.
Earwig's tool mostly checks out. This is a bit close to the ref; I think it couldn't hurt to rephrase a bit of those overlaps.  Done


### Images
File:Moston Brook, Manchester.jpg - checks out  Done
File:Greater Manchester UK relief location map.jpg - checks out  Done
File:Moston Brook OpenStreetMap.png - seems fine  Done
File:Moston Brook and the White Hills, east of Belgrave Road, November 1970.jpg - not totally sure about this one; can you clarify the contact with author bit?  Done clarified on Commons
File:Moston Brook, Manchester - Williams Road culvert inflow.jpg - checks out  Done
File:Song Thrush (Turdus philomelos) singing in tree.jpg - source link broken; unsure about this one.  Done changed to a Geograph image that has a working source
File:2013 Moston Brook Fun Day 1.jpg - same as above; can you clarify contact with author?  Done clarified on Commons
File:2013 Moston Brook Fun Day 2.jpg - contact with author clarification  Done clarified on Commons
 Question:   Regarding contact with authors, the Moston Brook project officer and I contacted the authors of the photographs via email and they confirmed that they were happy to donate the photographs to Wikimedia Commons with CC licence. Is this sufficient? DelUsion23 (talk) 15:57, 20 May 2019 (UTC)
Nice work. Mostly minor concerns. Give me a ping when you address these/reply. ceranthor 19:21, 15 May 2019 (UTC)

@Ceranthor: Thanks very much for the thorough review. I have gone through the points, ticking off the ones I believe to be resolved, but please do check. The ones labelled "doing" or "question" I have written a response. Please can you respond to these? If there are any further queries or suggestions arising I'll be happy to respond further. Thanks again, DelUsion23 (talk) 16:15, 20 May 2019 (UTC)
@Delusion23: I think your explanations for the references are sufficient to justify them, at least at the GA level of scrutiny. As for the contact with author notes, I would just add what you mentioned above to the descriptions on Commons, so that it's slightly more clear. Good work - I'll pass this now. ceranthor 17:36, 21 May 2019 (UTC)
@Ceranthor: Thanks very much! I've checked off the remaining references and also the images after first clarifying the source on Commons. Cheers, DelUsion23 (talk) 18:08, 21 May 2019 (UTC)