# Talk:Fonteyn Kill

This review is transcluded from Talk:Fonteynkill/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 17:56, 24 April 2016 (UTC)
Hi! Happy to review. Sainsf <^>Feel at home 17:56, 24 April 2016 (UTC)
Beautiful article. Here are my comments:

Lead:
Can we have an idea when the Wappingers used to be?
Attempted to clarify.
 contributed to Matthew Vassar's decision May be "influenced" is better than "contributed to"?
Fixed.
Why is "Vassar Lake" in bold?
It doesn't seem independently notable, so Vassar Lake redirects to this page, which covers pretty much every aspect of the Lake as a subset of the kill.
"urban stream" is linked twice.
I had originally linked urban stream and also linked Urban Stream Syndrome but the latter redirects to the former. At some point, I believe another editor changed the link of urban stream syndrome to just include urban stream. There's no independent article for USS so I delinked.
Alright. Sainsf <^>Feel at home 12:12, 27 April 2016 (UTC)
Any idea on what exactly urban stream syndrome is?
See above.
 Vassar–Cornell University program I think we need a hyphen and not an endash here.
I disagree per WP:DASH: "Here the relationship is thought of as parallel, symmetric, equal, oppositional, or at least involving separate or independent elements. The components may be nouns, adjectives, verbs, or any other independent part of speech. Often if the components are reversed there would be little change of meaning." I think this is such a case.
I see. Let it be. Sainsf <^>Feel at home 12:12, 27 April 2016 (UTC)
water quality in the Fonteynkill "of the Fonteynkill"?
Fixed.
Course:
Who is Helen Wilkinson Reynolds?
Clarified.
As of 2010, Fonteynkill flows Sounds weird, surely it doesn't change its course every year? I think you mean according to a study in 2010?
Fixed.
Watershed and hydrology
It would be good if you can add a few words on what urban steam syndrome is. The reader won't have to chase links unless they need a detailed idea of it.
Added a note. If I have time someday, I should really write an article on urban stream syndrome.
Can we link watershed?
Yep, we sure can.
Points upstream of Vassar Lake I'm not sure if "point" is the best word to use here, maybe "locations"?
Changed to sites and locations; this definitely reads better, thanks.
surrounding green space I think green "cover" sounds better.
Done.
inorganic nitrogen may be linked.
Unfortunately, I'm not sure where best to link it.
the Fonteynkill's score on the Hilsenhoff family biotic index, a scale measuring the tolerance of benthic macroinvertebrates, was approximately six Would be good to clarify the implication of this.
Done with note and in body.
Biology
and other birds also reside in the stream makes it sound as if they were aquatic animals. Perhaps "near" or "around" the steam?
Done
A 1924 source observed trout fishing occurring on the kill. This may read better as A 1924 study observed trout fishing on the kill. "Occurring" appears redundant.
Done.
 an outdoor environmental laboratory, the Edith Roberts Environmental Laboratory This is the second mention of the lab in the text, I think it is better to introduce it on first mention.
Edited so everything but the history of the ecological laboratory appears in its first mention.
In Etymology, link Dutch to Dutch language.
Sure.
Why give the names on italics? It's not so in the lead. I think double or single quotes should be proper here, though I'm not sure of the MOS guideline for this... (same for Mill Cove Lake in the next section).
Done.
Rest looks good, images are properly licensed and no copyvio detected. I will return this weekend. These points addressed, I would be happy to promote this. Cheers, Sainsf <^>Feel at home 12:12, 27 April 2016 (UTC)

Thank you for the thorough review, Sainsf! I have addressed all your points as best I can. Let me know if you think the article needs any further work. All the best, BobAmnertiopsis∴ChatMe! 17:14, 27 April 2016 (UTC)
Great! The article looks good to go. Excellent job! Sainsf <^>Feel at home 02:47, 28 April 2016 (UTC)