# Talk:Ngoia Pollard Napaltjarri

This review is transcluded from Talk:Ngoia Pollard Napaltjarri/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: BelovedFreak 14:43, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):  b (MoS): 
Well writte, lead covers main points. Just a few suggestions below.
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 
One link not working.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 
Neutral and balanced.
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 
No problems here.
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 
One free image with appropriate license.
Overall:
Pass/Fail: 

GA criteria
The link to artery.com.au is redirecting to their homepage.
changed. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
I'm confused - the link now goes to a painting, but that doesn't support the information in the article. Is that right?--BelovedFreak 11:35, 26 August 2010 (UTC)
Looks like I f**ked up - not a rare occurrence, really. Now have a look. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:57, 26 August 2010 (UTC)
That does the trick!
Further suggestions
Prose

I'm no expert on this stuff, so by all means take these suggestions with a pinch of salt!
"Commencing painting in 1997, Ngoia Pollard won a major..." - might sound better starting with the noun: "Ngoia Pollard commenced painting in 1997 and won a major..." - also avoids two "ing"s next to each other
True, but i've been trying to avoid beginning sentences with her name all the time. Have tweaked it so at least the two -ing issue is fixed. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
"She went on to the painting prize..." - should this be She went on to win the painting prize...?
oops, yes. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
"Marrying Jack Tjampitjinpa, they moved to Kintore..." - doesn't sound quite right; they doesn't match marrying. Perhaps She married Jack Tjampitjinpa and they moved to Kintore
yes. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
"In 1997, Ngoia Pollard began painting independently, and by 2004 won the first prize..." - I think this should be and by 2004 had won the first prize or and in 2004 won the first prize
yes, the latter. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
"Western Desert artists such as Ngoia Pollard will frequently paint particular 'dreamings', or stories..." - is will necessary here?
no! hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
Other

Ok, I know it's only short, I guess I just have a short concentration span, but by the time I got to "Career", I could have used a link to Mount Liebig. It's at that point, when it's directly relevant to her work, that I wanted to click to that article, especially if that article is developed further in the future.
done. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:11, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
Consider adding WP:PERSONDATA template
done. hamiltonstone (talk) 23:17, 25 August 2010 (UTC)
Another great Aussie artist article (alliteration!); just one external link in the references to be fixed and I will be happy to list the article.--BelovedFreak 14:43, 25 August 2010 (UTC)

Ok, I'm happy to list this as a good article now. Well done!--BelovedFreak 16:58, 26 August 2010 (UTC)

Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified one external link on Ngoia Pollard Napaltjarri. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20091003074825/http://nt.gov.au/nreta/museums/exhibitions/natsiaa/23natsiaa.html to http://www.nt.gov.au/nreta/museums/exhibitions/natsiaa/23natsiaa.html
When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.
This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.
Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 06:47, 18 February 2018 (UTC)

It has been a while since this article has been reviewed, so I took a look and noticed that there is no information about her death in the article body as well as some potential missing information about later aspects of her career. Should this article go to WP:GAR? Z1720 (talk) 02:41, 7 July 2025 (UTC)


### Ngoia Pollard Napaltjarri