# Talk:Kingdom Hearts χ

The plot section has a lot of line-for-line script regurgitation, and definitely needs to be tightened up.204.11.142.106 (talk) 14:12, 16 May 2016 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Kingdom Hearts χ/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: PresN (talk · contribs) 19:55, 3 June 2016 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this. --PresN 19:55, 3 June 2016 (UTC)

"the event which established the current organization of the Kingdom Hearts universe." - current is off, as we're in the past; maybe "which established the organization of the Kingdom Hearts universe as of the initial game".
"earns Lux, experience points, and Munny" - link experience points
"Kingdom Hearts series (KH originals" - KH as an acronym is odd and not introduced
"as well as Disney and Final Fantasy characters" - link Disney and Final Fantasy, and mention back in the first sentence that the Kingdom Hearts series includes original elements along with bits form Disney and Final Fantasy.
"the Snow White-inspired" - link
"Unchained shares multiple gameplay" - Unchained has not been introduced at this point in the body
"Lux has been conflated with character-leveling experience points" - tense, and "conflated" is an odd word choice when "combined with" is more clear
"Rather than being awarded directly, clothing, hair, and accessories" - this is the first time you've mentioned these, so "rather than" is strange; mention them earlier.
"that created the present-day layout of the Kingdom Hearts world" - as above
"The story will lead into the beginning of the Keyblade War" - tense
Will continue in a bit. --PresN 20:06, 3 June 2016 (UTC)

Good job so far @PresN:, that batch is done. Judgesurreal777 (talk) 03:33, 4 June 2016 (UTC)


### Part 2!
"Kairi's grandmother is telling Kairi her favorite story of light and darkness" - tense, feels like editorializing
 "Once the Player has chosen, Darkness surrounds them - though they summon forth a Keyblade" - okay, this section is starting to feel like a dramatic retelling, not an encyclopedic description...
"which is described to them as being" - unclear who "them" is- the character or the player?
"a massive Corridor of Darkness opens" - uh, what's that?
"Before the Heartless can finish them off, the Player is saved by their respective Foreteller; who forces the Darkside back into the Corridor of Darkness and follows it in order to destroy it." - this sentence is a mess and I have no idea what a Foreteller is
Just going to note here that it looks like the whole plot section needs to be rewritten- the information is fine, but the actual text is assuming the reader knows what all these terms mean, and is written like a dramatic recap, not an encyclopedic summary. I'm going to stop pointing out the bad phrasing/style like that from here forwards, and stick to the bad sentence construction
"Chirithy, a cat-like figure who had accompanied the Foreteller, explains that someone is seeking out the Light, and that the Player had been chosen to become a Keyblade Wielder and to use the Keyblade - a weapon of light - to fend off the darkness that is quickly covering the worlds." - this sentence wanders on and on, and the spaced-hyphens should be unspaced emdashes or spaced endashes.
"into darkness; with the Keyblade being" - semicolons separate full sentence-clauses, so "with"/"being" doesn't fit
It's really strange the way this section refers to the character that the player is controlling as the "Player", with caps- are they referred to that way in-game? It sounds like there's just no name given and they're a player stand-in, in which case it shouldn't be capitalized, and the section shouldn't be saying that the Player is confused.
 "Revealing that it wants the Player to go to these other worlds to fight the darkness, Chirithy then informs the Player that the Lanes Between had been opened and they could use them to access these other worlds within the Book of Prophecies: a tome that predicts the future." - rambling sentence, uses undefined terms, tense issues
“Before the person who created me vanished, he gave his six disciples new names, and to five of them, a prophecy. Those five disciples, now Foretellers, read the prophecy in which the future was foretold - but they seemed to be shocked by the last verse: "By waging war on that land, Light shall face defeat and be annihilated. The world shall be engulfed in eternal darkness." In order to save the future, the five Foretellers thought about using the hidden power within the prophecies.” - there's no need for this lengthy quote
"who tells them that Ephemera came here to conflict with their Union" - "to conflict"?
"The Foreteller is revealed to be Ava, who has been testing them and tells them that Ephemera has left to another world and has become a Dandelion; Keyblade Wielders who don't face the end of the world, while those who do will start a Keyblade War. " - the punctuation here is all wrong.
The story section just kind of... stops. Is that the end of the game? Does the story continue in another game? Or are they still releasing story bits, and this is just as far as it's gone?
In addition to cleaning up the language of the section, I really feel that the plot section is too long. It's way, way too wordy is places, and could stand to lose at least a paragraph's worth of text without much affect on the content.


### Development & other sections
"The game's music is composed" - tense
"but due to its newness to the team" - unclear, seems like you mean "but due to the team's unfamiliarity with browser games"
"The Chirithy, the player characters' companion" - no "the" needed at the start
"He based its design on the Scottish Fold domestic cat" - who did?
"series protagonists Sora and Riku" - link Sora
"For this same reason, the team went with mouse-based rather than controller-based gameplay" - um, wouldn't the fact that it's a browser game and not a console game also have something to do with this? It seems like this idea links better with the next sentence about simple controls that it does with the complicated gameplay of most of the series
"χ-blade (Keyblade), the original Keyblade" - shouldn't it be "Chi-blade" in parenthesis, if you're going to do it at all?
"During 2014, Nomura stated that the story of Kingdom Hearts χ was on hold" - there's no context here; you haven't said when development started at this point (you don't get into dates until the release section).
"Unchained was decided upon while the original game was still in development." - I don't know what this means.
"However development was focused on Kingdom Hearts χ, halting development on Unchained" - awkward, and needs a comma after However
"One of the functions included was to make it a more casual experience" - a casual experience is not a "function"
"at Tokyo Game Show 2012" - when was this?
"A localization for western territories was being prepared" - when?
The release section says that a localization "was" planned, then that there "still are" plans, then that a release "is" planned, then that it "was released". Needs a rewrite.
Also, the last two sentence use different tenses when talking about releases, both in the past...
The reception section is... anemic. Are there no other reviews?
"in HD cinematics, approximately one-hour long" - fragment
Most of the Back Cover section has nothing to do with this game. It should be a single sentence in the "release" section.
Whew. Ok, that was tiring- the writing is really bad in the plot section especially. It really does need a top-to-bottom rewrite. (also, I find KH plots nonsensical at best most of the time) Placing on hold. --PresN 20:59, 6 June 2016 (UTC)

Thanks for the very thorough review! I'm in line to get on the Test Track at EPCOT, so it may be a few days before I finish this articles last notes. Judgesurreal777 (talk) 16:46, 12 June 2016 (UTC)
Look man, you need to get your priorities in order. Finishing off the last points in an easily-extendible and easily-repeatable review of a Wikipedia GA nomination is way more important that "having a life". Also, have fun! Don't think I did that one when I went a few years ago. --PresN 00:33, 13 June 2016 (UTC)
Well, it was an incredible slog, I mean come on @PresN:, you want me to make a Kingdom Hearts plot make sense? Want the cure for cancer and the Presidents Book of Secrets too? :) I had lots of fun in Disney, you should totally go sometime. Not on the Test Track though, it was really fast!
Anyway, article should be done, all points addressed, plot re-written by me with original as raw material, and reception section doubled. Let me know if you see anything else. Thanks for the massive and through review!  Judgesurreal777 (talk) 06:42, 28 June 2016 (UTC)

@Judgesurreal777: Okay, taking a look:
Most of paragraph 3 of Gameplay is unreferenced; I guess it was before, I just didn't catch it
I fixed a couple small errors in plot.
So, that's it. Feel's a bit strange to keep the GAN open for one issue, but I don't think it will take you long. --PresN 18:33, 28 June 2016 (UTC)

Ok, I added five cites for various points in the text I sourced to one of the article existing references, and fixed a few sentence & spelling things @PresN:. Judgesurreal777 (talk) 19:10, 28 June 2016 (UTC)
Alright, passing! --PresN 20:44, 28 June 2016 (UTC)

How? And why? The original χ (chapter 8) was only released in Japan. So why is Unchained χ, which is an worldwide expanded port for mobile devices, chapter 9? MrWii000 (talk) 04:08, 18 September 2017 (UTC)

Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified 2 external links on Kingdom Hearts χ. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

Added archive https://web.archive.org/web/20150331095246/http://kingdomhearts.jp/help/help01.html to http://kingdomhearts.jp/help/help01.html
Corrected formatting/usage for http://na.square-enix.com/us/blog/kingdom-hearts-unchained-x-coming-north-america
When you have finished reviewing my changes, you may follow the instructions on the template below to fix any issues with the URLs.
This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.
Cheers.—InternetArchiveBot (Report bug) 21:34, 10 December 2017 (UTC)

That plot summary is far too long for a comfortable reading experience for all but the most dedicated Kingdom Hearts fans. Could someone familiar with the plot make the summary more concise and reduce it to the general length of, say, the other KH game articles? I've set up a notice in the meantime. User:SubZeroSilver (talk) 00:47, 24 May 2018 (UTC)

Believe me, I'd love to pare it down, but doing so becomes complicated:
Being a mobile game, new story content is constantly being added, so with no defined endpoint, it's harder to judge what is and isn't a notable detail in the grand scheme.
Until KH3 comes out, it's not clear which parts are relevant to it that would need to be included.
The narrative is technically split between three different games (original χ, Unchained/Union, and Back Cover), so that makes it even harder to consolidate.
I'll do what I can, but I foresee this one being in a rough state for a while until the most relevant points can be more clearly defined. EDIT: I've managed to get the original game's summary down to less than 700 words, within the recommended guidelines. The Unchained/Union section is at about 400, leaving plenty of space for any other major plot developments going forward. -- 136.181.195.25 (talk) 14:39, 18 October 2018 (UTC)

While rewriting the main character list, I've been considering the possibility of moving the Kingdom Hearts χ characters to this page under the rationale that the majority of characters don't really have that much notability beyond this game, which is more of a supplemental experience in the series. My idea is that we structure it like the Tales series articles, with bullet lists similar (if not identical) to how they're currently written on the character list. The Japanese names of the characters are already on this page. User:SubZeroSilver (talk) 00:55, 24 May 2018 (UTC)

Oppose That is a very crystal-balling outlook. Iftekharahmed96 (talk) 13:45, 24 May 2018 (UTC)
I'm not quite sure I follow. Are you saying the rationale I gave appears to be under the assumption/prediction that these characters will not have any major importance to the rest of the series in the future? Because the point I'm trying to make is that, at the present, their roles are confined to this one game and other media related to the title.
There's also another reason I forgot to add, and that's to keep the character list from getting too much bigger than it already is. User:SubZeroSilver (talk) 13:58, 24 May 2018 (UTC)
These Kingdom Hearts χ characters have every possibility of being in future games. you should not rule that factor out. Iftekharahmed96 (talk) 14:08, 24 May 2018 (UTC)
Just because they might appear in III or a another sequel, I don't think it is valid. I would suggest using the character lists from the Tales of franchise that use different characters in every game.Tintor2 (talk) 15:36, 24 May 2018 (UTC)
I don't think these characters have the notability for a separate article. User:SubZeroSilver (talk) 16:05, 24 May 2018 (UTC)

How is Union X the ninth installment when it's clearly an updated version of the previous KH X game from browsers just like how Re: Chain of Memories and Re: Coded are updated versions of the previous original games?--AnimeDisneylover95 (talk) 00:50, 25 November 2018 (UTC)

Aside from the fact that several mechanics were changed, the story of Unchained/Union is actually a sequel to X, whereas Re:COM and Re:Coded were still telling the same story. Unchained/Union X only starts the same, but halfway through the story of the original, it's revealed that all of X has already happened in the past and you're reliving a simulation of X's events, which start to change after that revelation. You never actually play through the back half of X's events in Unchained/Union; they're only alluded to in flashbacks. -- 50.4.172.142 (talk) 02:54, 25 November 2018 (UTC)
The IP is correct. Additionally, Square Enix themselves indicate X as a separate game from Unchained/Union X. Hence, each is a different entry in the series. - Favre1fan93 (talk) 15:50, 25 November 2018 (UTC)
The official Japanese KH website has a timeline which includes every game released up to KHIII; here, Union χ is not shown as a distinct entry from KHχ. Their list only uses Union χ (just like we only use Re:coded for most contexts), showing the official position is that Union χ counts as a remake rather than a sequel. MrWii000 (talk) 05:22, 14 September 2022 (UTC)

Since the game is out now, it's become clear that Union χ Dark Road is essentially two separate games in one, with a title selection menu at the start similar to the HD collections, and distinct gameplay mechanics between both Union χ and Dark Road that are not influenced by the other the way Union was by Unchained. Should we split Dark Road into its own article to reflect that? Or should we keep it here and make the distinctions clearer than they are now? User:SubZeroSilver (talk) 12:50, 22 June 2020 (UTC)

Try setting it up like Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue, which is set up like a compilation it has sections for everything. Until this article is bursting with reliable sources and excellent information, we should build this one up and only split when we can no longer maintain summary style. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Judgesurreal777 (talk • contribs) 13:30, 23 June 2020 (UTC)

Story line never had foretellers 
Skuld name off changed to Unknown name revealed after Dark Road ends when a Dematerialized Hope Appears. Uncrossed Dark Road  Newer Union
Gen X..... Candia21 (talk) 18:59, 9 April 2022 (UTC)

That's all speculation. Wait until any of this is actually confirmed in a game. -- Cyberlink420 (talk) 19:04, 9 April 2022 (UTC)
When your capable of seeing the bigger picture then it's pretty much confirmed.   Candia21 (talk) 08:20, 12 April 2022 (UTC)

That's not how Wikipedia works. We add things based on what is actually said, not based on original research. -- Cyberlink420 (talk) 12:38, 12 April 2022 (UTC)

I propose that Kingdom Hearts Dark Road be split into its own article. It is its own game with a unique narrative that is just attached to the wider Kingdom Hearts χ package. It has gotten its own reviews ([1], [2]) and additional coverage both prelease ([3], [4], [5]) and post-release ([6], [7], [8]). (Oinkers42) (talk) 03:41, 7 April 2024 (UTC)

Comment I'm neutral on this, I'd have to see an actual fleshed-out draft that wasn't redundant. There's also the fact that Dark Road was sort of like an expansion pack rather than a separate game. ᴢxᴄᴠʙɴᴍ (ᴛ) 07:19, 7 April 2024 (UTC)
It was part of the same app, yes, but it also has totally different gameplay (which no one has done a write-up on yet) and different reviews as presented above. I think it could be split off, though it might be a little small. -- Cyberlink420 (talk) 14:08, 7 April 2024 (UTC)
I'm seconding ZXC that I'd like to see a draft first before signing off on a split. I get that they're different but 1) are they different enough, and 2) would it improve either article to be split vs. holding relevant information together in a single page to avoid redundancy/improve comprehension? Axem Titanium (talk) 20:54, 9 April 2024 (UTC)
I got thinking about this again recently, and I'm gonna finally take a crack at splitting Dark Road off. I've started on a draft in my sandbox (with a de-Dark-Roaded draft of X ready to go in case Dark Road actually does split); feel free to contribute suggestions or potential sources on the talk page. -- Cyberlink420 (talk) 17:03, 9 May 2025 (UTC)

Okay, that'll about do it. ZXC, Axem, if you still wanna see a draft, here you go. -- Cyberlink420 (talk) 01:28, 10 May 2025 (UTC)
My suggestion is to continue working on the reception and integrate NME, 4Gamer and Destructoid. When that's done I think it should be fine as a standalone page. ᴢxᴄᴠʙɴᴍ (ᴛ) 04:52, 10 May 2025 (UTC)
Reception section is now NME, 4Gamer, Destructoid, and a Famitsu piece I was able to find. I think it's just over the line now where I feel okay making it standalone. -- Cyberlink420 (talk) 05:25, 10 May 2025 (UTC)