# Talk:Ernest Deane

This review is transcluded from Talk:Ernest Deane/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: MPJ-DK (talk · contribs) 18:52, 9 March 2016 (UTC)

Alright I will be picking up the review, both to help out my fellow Wiki Cup participants and to earn points for the GA cup as well. 
Side note, I have my own GA nomininations (CMLL World Tag Team Championship, CMLL World Welterweight Championship, CMLL World Trios Championship and CMLL World Middleweight Championship) and need input on a Featured List candidate (Mexican National Light Heavyweight Championship) and a Featured Article candidate (CMLL World Heavyweight Championship). I am not asking for Quid pro Quo, but all help is appreciated - especially FL and FA input,

Thanks, MPJ-DK. I'll see what I can do to help out on your GANs etc. FunkyCanute (talk) 19:04, 9 March 2016 (UTC)


### GA Toolbox
I like to get this checked out first, I have found issues using this that has led to quick fails so it's important this passes muster.

Copyright violations Tool
The tool hit on two quotes in the article, but checking out each hit they are properly cited and are quotes so they cannot be rephrased. Y
Disambiguation links
No issues reported Y
External links
No issues reported Y


### Well Written
"cut short, when" no need for the comma
Done. FunkyCanute (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
"surgeon in the Adelaide Hospital", I believe "at the" is appropriate? Hopsital is one of those words I am not always sure if it's in or at
Agreed and fixed. FunkyCanute (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
"as medical officer" needs either "a" if there were several or "the" if he was the only one (Same fix in the article itself)
This is a tricky one: titles of this kind are often mentioned without an article (a/the), eg "he was managing director of ..." FunkyCanute (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
"to help some injured soldiers" I would suggest replacing "some" with "a group of" or just take out "some"
On reflection, I think keeping "some" is better, if you don't mind. FunkyCanute (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
Is there no other info on his rugby career? I am sure he was not just picked out of obscurity to play for the national team?
I will add a few extra details. Done. FunkyCanute (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
"Deane, having qualified from the Royal College of Surgeons in Ireland (RCSI) in 1909, and after a period as house surgeon in Adelaide Hospital," this appeares redundant as it was just mentioned above.
Agreed and removed. FunkyCanute (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
"A few days before he died, Deane " I would suggets using the actual date.
The official announcement was on 2 October, after his death, but his commanding officer, in the quote, says he was awarded it before he died, and Sewell concurs, probably following the CO. We don't have the exact date, but it seems likely Deane died knowing he'd been awarded it. FunkyCanute (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
"to enter the RAMC." - not sure what RAMC is, that may be why I am having a hard time figuring out what this sentence is supposed to say.
Royal Army Medical Corps. I've put RAMC in brackets where the full name is mentioned in the paragraph above. I've also done a little copyedit to clarify the sentence. FunkyCanute (talk) 10:59, 10 March 2016 (UTC)


### Sources/verifiable
References #3, 4, 5, 6, 7 should have the accessdate listed
Done. FunkyCanute (talk) 11:13, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
Reference #7 should have more details added for the magazine, publisher etc. Perhaps look at what options the "cite news" has?
Done. FunkyCanute (talk) 11:13, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
They're looking reliable from my checks.


### Broad in coverage
I believe it probably represents most of the public knowldge of someone born in 1887. Y


### Neutral
Looks like it to me. Y


### Stable
No signs of issues from the article history


### Illustrated / Images
There are no Alt texts, please add those.
File "Ireland Rugby 1909.JP" needs a U.S. Public Domain tag (like the one on the main picture
Done. FunkyCanute (talk) 11:17, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
 - @FunkyCanute: -  Looks good so far, not really a lot of issues. Interesting subject and close to a Good Article. Putting this on hold for up to 7 days to allow for updates to be made.  MPJ-US  23:07, 9 March 2016 (UTC)

@MPJ-DK: I think that's everything covered.with the exception of needing to add a few extra details on the rugby career. I have some additional material, albeit limited, so I'll do that shortly. Many thanks for the review. FunkyCanute (talk) 11:15, 10 March 2016 (UTC)
@FunkyCanute: - I have checked over your improvements, they look good. the places where you made comments I am okay with those too, it makes sense for the circumstance. So at this point I am satisfied that this is a GA article. Good job, the bot will update the article with the icon and I am going to update the classes etc.  MPJ-US  01:05, 11 March 2016 (UTC)