# Talk:Mercurial World


### Mercurial World
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to nominate it for FAC after this, which would be my first nomination in that process. Any comments for this article to pass the FA criteria will be appreciated.
Thanks, CatchMe (talk · contribs) 09:02, 17 March 2025 (UTC)


#### Medxvo
Placeholder, I'll try to take a look soon! Medxvo (talk) 22:15, 17 March 2025 (UTC)

"draws mainly from synth-pop and electronic pop, with predominant synthesizers and drums" - Do you think "draws mainly on synth-pop and electronic pop styles, featuring predominant synthesizers and drums" reads better?
"accompanied Mercurial World along with music videos" - should a comma be placed before "along with"?
"To further promote the album" - is "further" necessary here?
The singles and visuals are part of the promotion (and included in Release and promotion), so I think it makes sense? CatchMe (talk · contribs) 07:45, 20 March 2025 (UTC)
Oh okay, yes, it makes sense to me. Medxvo (talk) 13:02, 20 March 2025 (UTC)
"incorporated retro" / "included remixes" - shouldn't these be "incorporate" and "includes/features"?
"in a green screen" - "on a green screen"
"among pop fans,[6] and signed" - no need for the comma here
"recording together in their home studio which" - a comma before "which"?
"contributed to album's" - "the" is probably missing before "album's"
"had time to "to just" - double "to"
"In an interview with Vulture's Justin Curto" - I think it would be relevant to state the year as "... in 2021"
"eponymous song, because the duo" - probably no need for the comma here
"album was a result to their" - "a result of"
"1980 and 1990s" - "1980s and 1990s"?
"to the singer Kate Bush" - "to that of the singer Kate Bush"?
"found similarities with" - I think "found similarities between the production of some tracks with" reads better
"relationships issues" - "relationship issues"
"reminiscent to" - "reminiscent of"?
"A 8-bit" - "An 8-bit"
"remix to" - "remix of"?
"an Y2K aesthetic" - "a Y2K aesthetic"?
"According to the singer, they "buil[t] a world" around their music" - which singer?
Oops, I thought she was mentioned right before. CatchMe (talk · contribs) 07:45, 20 March 2025 (UTC)
"their music, while" - no need for the comma
"David Cronenberg films" - "David Cronenberg's films"?
"was supported by a one-off show" - would "... in Los Angeles" be relevant?
"many of whom described it" - I believe "some of whom" would be more specific
"diverse topics makes it" - "... make it"
"Exclaim!'s Kaelen Bell wrote that some songs suffer from their lyricism, and described it as "broad, placeholder" - "Exclaim!'s Kaelen Bell thought that some songs suffer from "broad, placeholder" lyricism"?
"Snapes, who praised Tenenbaum's vocals" - is this needed when we indicated that she praised her vocals in the section's second paragraph?
I think the Rolling Stone, Vulture, and The New Yorker refs have limited access
I think that's all from me, apologies if some of these were too nitpicky. The article looks in great shape overall! Medxvo (talk) 23:15, 19 March 2025 (UTC)

A lot of misplaced commas lol. Thank you for the review, it is greatly appreciated! :) CatchMe (talk · contribs) 07:45, 20 March 2025 (UTC)
Best of luck with the article! Feel free to ping me when you nominate it at FAC :)) Medxvo (talk) 13:02, 20 March 2025 (UTC)


#### OlifanofmrTennant
I don't think "pop music" should be linked in overview per MOS:OVERLINK also its somewhat misleading as the text around it seems like it would link to an article on 1980s/1990s pop music
"Pitchfork" should probably be linked in critical reception
"All tracks are written by Magdalena Bay." citation needed
Also I think that some of the "Magdalena Bay" mentions should be "Tenenbaum and Lewin" otherwise someone not reading the article start to finish but instead jumping around may confuse the duo name for a person.
"The visuals include retro style." line seems sort of thrown in could it be combined with the previous thing about the asthetic?
The "(GAN)" acronym is unneeded as its only used the one time.
That's what I found  Olliefant (she/her) 01:09, 1 April 2025 (UTC)
Thank you for the review, @OlifanofmrTennant. For the Magdalena Bay/Tenenbaum and Lewin mentions, I think it flows better the way it is; they are mentioned separately before the information about the creation of the duo, and then Magdalena Bay is used consistently. I also don't think there could be confusion since it is stated in the first sentences of the lead that Magdalena Bay is a duo and has two members. Let me know if you disagree or if you have other comments. :) CatchMe (talk · contribs) 03:57, 7 April 2025 (UTC)
Looks good Didn’t spot anything else Olliefant (she/her) 04:20, 7 April 2025 (UTC)