# Talk:Cyclone Fakir

This review is transcluded from Talk:Cyclone Fakir/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Destroyeraa-alt (talk · contribs) 23:57, 19 September 2021 (UTC)

I'll be doing this:


### Lede
Fakir originated from a area of disturbed weather a → an
Done. NoahTalk 14:49, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
The system concentrated into a tropical depression by 23 April and was given the name Fakir later that day. Add a comma after "April".
Done. NoahTalk 14:49, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
If Fakir did undergo rapid intensification, link "rapidly intensified" to it
Done. NoahTalk 14:49, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
hours before passing just off the east coast of Réunion. Could be simplified to "hours before passing just east of Réunion."
Done. NoahTalk 14:49, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


### MH
IMO "Fakir" is written too many times. Try replacing some usages with "the storm" or "the cyclone".
The remnants of Fakir slowed down and turned east-northeastwards on 25 and 26 April "The remnants of Fakir" → The remnants
Done. NoahTalk 14:49, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


### Impact
Johannesburg, Mauritius, and Rodrigues Link Johannesburg and Rodrigues.
Done. NoahTalk 14:57, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
What is "Sheeting"?
Clarified it is metal sheeting. NoahTalk 14:57, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
Like "Blackouts" to power outage.
Done. NoahTalk 14:57, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
Total damage across the island exceeded €15 million (US$17.7 million).[22][23] Why's this in the middle of the second paragraph? I find its placement a bit awkward, as you're not done with other impacts unrelated to damage.
Moved to the end. NoahTalk 14:57, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
A small protest broke out in Pamplemousses over alleged failure by the authorities to hand out allowances to disaster victims.[54] Damage to crops caused by the rains resulted in an increase in the prices of vegetables by 20 percent in the week following Fakir.[55] This info belongs in the aftermath section, not the preps and impacts.
Moved to the aftermath. NoahTalk 14:57, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


### Aftermath
At least 360 firefighters conducted at least 253 operations on 24 April to ensure the wellbeing of civilians, including 5 rescues. "to ensure the wellbeing of civilians" is unnecessary and rather redundant, since that's what firefighters do.
Removed. NoahTalk 15:03, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
A disaster declaration was issued for 15 municipalities as a result of agricultural losses during Fakir; many farms were destroyed, with some requiring up to a year for repairs.[60] and A disaster declaration was issued for the municipalities of Les Avirons, Bras-Panon, L'Entre-Deux, L'Étang-Salé, Petite-Île , Saint André, Saint-Benoît, Saint-Joseph, Saint-Leu, Saint-Louis, Saint-Pierre, Saint Philippe, Sainte-Marie, Sainte-Rose, and Sainte-Suzanne, as a result of severe flooding and mudslides.[65] For the latter sentence, I count 15 municipalities. Are they the same, or are they different?
Removed the duplication. NoahTalk 15:03, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
"Petite-Île ," → "Petite-Île," :P
Fixed. NoahTalk 15:03, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
Link Tampon to Le Tampon
Done. NoahTalk 15:03, 20 September 2021 (UTC)


### See also
Add a link to Tropical cyclones in the Mascarene Islands.

Done. NoahTalk 15:04, 20 September 2021 (UTC)
That's all I have. That's all I have. Best of luck bring this to FA. Destroyer (Alternate account) 23:57, 19 September 2021 (UTC)

@Destroyeraa: Everything here should be addressed. NoahTalk 15:04, 20 September 2021 (UTC)