# Talk:Leslie H. Sabo Jr.

This review is transcluded from Talk:Leslie H. Sabo, Jr./GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Canadian Paul (talk · contribs) 15:16, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
This one has been sitting here too long, so I'll give it a review, hopefully later tonight. Canadian Paul 15:16, 5 July 2012 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):  b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): 

It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 

It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 

Overall:
Pass/Fail: 

Comments:

The infobox image requires a caption, even if it's something basic like "Sabo in his military uniform in year X"
Done. —Ed!(talk) 20:59, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
Under "Early life", first paragraph, "Leslie Halasz Sabo, Jr. was born in Kufstein, Austria on 22 February 1948 to Elizabeth and Leslie Sabo, Sr., who had been members of an upper-class Hungarian family." Normally this would run afoul of WP:NAMES, but it's sort of a grey area in terms of needing to distinguish him from other Sabos... certainly the current state is wrong, but I'm not certain what the best fix would be (ie. plain Sabo, Leslie, Jr. etc.)
In my experience, it's been hard to make it sound better when her maiden name is not known ("Elizabeth Sabo and Leslie Sabo Sr.") and in this case it was trickier still to make sure it's clear I'm referring to Leslie Sabo, Jr. the whole time in the early life section. I tried a few things but I think it reads best as-is. —Ed!(talk) 20:59, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
Same section, second paragraph, "The family moved to Youngstown, Ohio briefly, and then to Ellwood City, Pennsylvania following a job at Blaw-Knox Corp.." This sentence needs some fixing: for one thing, it makes it sounds like their move to (rather than their stay in) the city was brief, and "following a job at Blaw-Knox Corp." sounds awkward as well. Who's job? Most likely Leslie Sr.'s but, per WP:OBVIOUS, that should be stated (it could, theoretically, have been the mother's)
Reworded. —Ed!(talk) 20:59, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
Under "Medal of Honor" action, first paragraph, "This battle became known as the "Mother's Day ambush," a term first used in Forgotten Honor, a biography of Sabo self-published by Ellwood City Ledger reporter Eric Poole." The reference used at the end of the sentence does not support this information - it uses the term "Mother's Day ambush", but it doesn't claim that this is what the battle has become "known" as nor does it attribute it to the publication/author in question.
Removed the uncited part. —Ed!(talk) 20:59, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
Under "Subsequent recognition", first paragraph, "Although he was posthumously promoted to the rank of sergeant, the circumstances of Sabo's death remained unclear to his family for several years thereafter." Seems to me from the source like it was decades, rather than "several years" before his family knew anything. Perhaps a clarification is needed here?
Fixed. —Ed!(talk) 20:59, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
Same section, second paragraph, "Sabo's name also appears on the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall on Panel 10W – Line 15." Maybe I'm missing it, but that information does not appear to be in the reference (nor is there a picture of the wall, again, unless I'm missing it) and per this and this, I'm not sure it would qualify as a reliable source anyways (unless there were an actual picture of the wall).
Removed that detail. —Ed!(talk) 20:59, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
I went through and did a copyedit (twice actually, because my damn browser closed without asking me - maybe it's time to switch away from Firefox) and hopefully nothing was too controversial about that. To allow for these issues to be addressed I am placing the article on hold for a period of up to a week. I'm always open to discussion so if you think I'm wrong on something leave your thoughts here and we'll discuss. I'll be checking this page at least daily, unless something comes up, so you can be sure I'll notice any comments left here. Once these concerns have been dealt with, I will review the article and point out any additional changes needed to comply with Wikipedia's Good Article criteria. Canadian Paul 20:37, 5 July 2012 (UTC)

Fixed everything. Thanks for your review! —Ed!(talk) 20:59, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
Wow, that was fast. I'll take another quick look at it now. As for the full name, I meant that at least the middle name should be removed, as it's not needed to distinguish him from his father, but I'll just do that myself. Canadian Paul 21:07, 5 July 2012 (UTC)
Well, I find "in the history of the medal" to be a little redundant, but that's more of a subjective concern for FA rather than any part of the GA criteria, so it appears that this article meets the Good Article criteria at the time and therefore I will be passing it as such. Congratulations and thank you for all your hard work! Canadian Paul 21:17, 5 July 2012 (UTC)

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