# Talk:Dril Official "Mr. Ten Years" Anniversary Collection

This review is transcluded from Talk:Dril Official "Mr. Ten Years" Anniversary Collection/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Fearstreetsaga (talk · contribs) 19:35, 28 December 2018 (UTC)
The article covers the book well and I like how it is structured. Here are my suggestions:

Development and publication
"as I believe I've mentioned earlier" I think this part should be removed given that it adds little to the quote.
"I am working on two (2) new books" This is already mentioned in the paragraph preceding it.
I agree with both of the above points—these phrases are restatements that add little-to-no new information. I've removed the quoted sentence that contained both phrases.
Content
'dril predicts a "miserable, Offline Hell" of the future in which his posts have been "Permanently Decommissioned", alluding to FEMA conspiracies and "Jade Helm 15 bull shit".' He can't be alluding to the Jade Helm 15 conspiracy theory if he mentions it explicitly, so I would use different wording here. Also, I think the connection between the two conspiracies and his posts being removed online could be explained for those who are unfamiliar with the conspiracies. Fearstreetsaga (talk) 19:35, 28 December 2018 (UTC)
I've reworded the sentence in a way that should be clearer: "dril predicts a 'miserable, Offline Hell' of the future in which his posts have been 'Permanently Decommissioned by FEMA due to some Jade Helm 15 bull shit', referring to conspiracy theories about FEMA camps and the Jade Helm 15 military training exercise." —BLZ · talk 20:25, 28 December 2018 (UTC)
The changes look good. I'll go ahead and pass the article. Congratulations! Fearstreetsaga (talk) 20:32, 28 December 2018 (UTC)
Thank you for taking the time for the review! I appreciate it. —BLZ · talk 21:14, 28 December 2018 (UTC)