# Talk:Delorentos

Moved from article: "Bands that have supported Delorentos include: The Immediate, The Flaws, Fight Like Apes, Ham Sandwich, Messiah J and the Expert, Super Extra Bonus Party, The Kinetics and Director." --Candlewicke  ST # :)  16:28, 6 March 2009 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Delorentos/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Hey, it's Garden here.  This will be my first GA review for about a year, so apologies in advance if I get it wrong.  I'll leave you the arbitrary seven days but as you've been waiting so long for this review (hell, you've probably forgotten who this band are :P ) I'm more than willing to adjust.  Nice work so far though.   GARDEN  21:22, 25 March 2009 (UTC)

Nice work, I'm happy to pass this now.  Well done!  GARDEN  22:27, 26 March 2009 (UTC)


### Overall
The headings look pretty POV to me.  Perhaps "In Love with Detail" instead of "Further success"?
Discography - this table requires mdashes to show there was no placement in the charts
Quite a lot of commas missing
Watch ref placement, i.e. [2][5] rather than [5][2]


### Lead
They consist of... - I presume you mean consisted
Two EPs were also released - maybe best to explain what an EP is with a long name and a link for the fist mention
hit singles - a bit POV?
support slots - link please?
Before their demise - sorry, did they die or something? :P
Then on 17 February 2009 - needs a reword or a comma, perhaps "However, on 17 February 2009", linking from the previous sentence.


### Career
#### Early career
The four members of Delorentos were each in different bands before - Doesn't read well, perhaps try Each of the band members were in bands prior to Delorentos or something.  Also, and this might be impossible I know, a source might be nice.  Not essential though
from an older band which a couple of them were in - reads informally
This section is bloomin' hard to make any sense of.  Try to group band member histories together in order to reduce the name spaghetti.
in the early days - when?


#### Breakthrough
The EP - very ambiguous, try Their first release, the EP or similar
gathered some cash - again, informal
straight to #1 - try number one per MOSNUM (somewhere)
annual Other Voices music show - argh! The refs aren't in order! This happens quite a lot in this section. (that's a pet peeve, address if you like, I'm not that bothered :P)
#14 - again, perhaps should be number fourteen
As part of their prize they - needs a comma, As part of their prize, they.  Looking at the rest of this section there should be several commas that have been missed
U.S. dates - should be US dates


#### Further success
I've already moaned about this heading, I think
#7 - more MOSNUM issues :P
#34 - That's correct, in case you think I'm going to say that for every number
a couple of dates - should really be two dates or several dates
The Irish Times noted their performance - already linked only two sentences previous
was selected by The Irish Times as the best by an Irish act at the event - reads quite poorly
by informing the reader that - perhaps a reword necessary?


#### Split
“these are strange times - why the weird speech marks?
neighbours - did they live next door?  Or are they fellow Dubliners?
This "gig or two" - used twice in succession it looks informal
blogger UnaRocks, John Walshe of State, Jonnie Craig and others - are all of these notable enough to mention?


### Style and influences/Awards
catchy guitar sound - is there a NPOV way of saying this?
attractive isn't NPOV :P  I'll have a gander though.
the band's set - Erm, what's a set?  A setlist?


### Future improvements
PHOTOS - although I'm sure you thought of that.
Can't really think of anything else.  I'm sure you'll improve it in ways I'll never think of :P  GARDEN  22:27, 26 March 2009 (UTC)
Yes, I had thought of that actually... perhaps if they hang around long enough to play Oxegen again... --candle•wicke 13:28, 27 March 2009 (UTC)
Done. --candle•wicke 21:47, 26 May 2009 (UTC)

Delorentos also have a Racehorse named after them (called "Delorento" and trained by John Joseph Hanlon) and a character in the AMA/Longtail studio Mobile game "Hollywood Hustle" ("Stephano DeLorento").i  
+ Delorentos have also had their songs used in many TV shows, including during Irish shows such as Paisean Faisean, Aifric and RTE sports shows The Sunday Game and Premier Soccer Saturday as well US TV shows, Notably Fox's Dollhouse. --candle•wicke 01:54, 10 April 2009 (UTC)

Dolrowhonow?TheThomas (talk) 22:44, 30 May 2012 (UTC)

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