# Talk:George Fan

This review is transcluded from Talk:George Fan/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 14:45, 28 September 2021 (UTC)

I'll get to this soon. ♦ jaguar 14:45, 28 September 2021 (UTC)

"with a degree in computer science" - perhaps link computer science
 Done Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"He worked under Arcade Planet to develop games for their website, Prizegames.com." - when did he do this? Directly after graduating?
 Done Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"Fan grew up with his brother and lived under their father" - with their father
 Done Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"His favorite film was Swiss Family Robinson because of the scene near the end where the family sets traps against attacking pirates." - this doesn't seem to be noteworthy
 Done: Removed Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"Fan describes the website as "an online version of Chuck E. Cheese"" - I'd link Chuck E. Cheese
 Done Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"Fan discovered PopCap Games and took a liking to their games" - repetition, how about game library
 Done Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
" With PopCap Games as the publisher, Insaniquarium" was" - stray quote mark here
 Done Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"titled Insaniquarium: Deluxe.[a] and was met" - stray full stop here
 Done Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"Fan left Blizzard to become independent for a year" - an independent video game designer?
 Done Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"He wanted to bring new concepts to the tower defense genre and found enemies" - lots of sentences opening with 'he'. Try Fan desired in this case
 Comment: "Fan desired to bring new concepts..." reads awkwardly. I am just going to use "Fan wanted to bring new concepts..."
"The working title was Weedlings; after the enemy change," - what does this mean?
 Done: It was referring to the change from aliens to zombies. Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"a card game named Magic: the Gathering," - the card game Magic: the Gathering
 Done Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"It was declared by PopCap spokesman Garth Chouteau on May 20, 2009, that Plants vs. Zombies was the fastest selling and best-selling video game created by PopCap Games" - this reads awkwardly
 Done: Reworded and cut down for better flow and conciseness. Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"When EA directed PopCap towards making free-to-play games with transactions, "Fan no longer fit in."" - who said this?
 Done: Jason Schreier of Kotaku Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
" Edmund Mcmillen" - capital 'M' in McMillen
 Done
"and has been discredited following the publication of an article by Kotaku" - who was discredited? Fan?
 Done: No, the rumor was discredited Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"All Yes Good would develop Octogeddon for the next four years" - wrong tense
 Done: Changed "would develop" to "developed" Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"Shigihara is Fan's girlfriend" - this reads awkwardly
 Done: Reordered. Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
"for the Magic: The Gathering core set, Magic 2015" - stray comma
 Done Lazman321 (talk) 04:09, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
Insaniquarium was one of my favourite games while growing up. I still have the disc to this day. I've picked out some grammatical and structural issues with this article. Once they're all out of the way this will be closer to meeting the GA criteria.  ♦ jaguar 20:01, 28 September 2021 (UTC)

@Jaguar: I have done your requests. Lazman321 (talk) 04:10, 1 October 2021 (UTC)
Thank you, this looks good to go now.  ♦ jaguar 10:32, 2 October 2021 (UTC)

The following Wikimedia Commons file used on this page or its Wikidata item has been nominated for deletion:

George Fan 2018 (cropped 1).jpg
Participate in the deletion discussion at the nomination page. —Community Tech bot (talk) 23:36, 28 November 2022 (UTC)

"His girlfriend is Shigihara, the composer for Plants vs. Zombies." I'm not sure how accurate this information is, seeing as the source was over 10 years ago with no further (or more recent) developments on the relationship, there's a non-zero chance that it is outdated by now. Erghyy (talk) 03:17, 26 August 2023 (UTC)