# Talk:Brymo

Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified 7 external links on Brymo. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

Corrected formatting/usage for http://sunnewsonline.com/new/entertainment/i-need-a-wife-now-brymo/
Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.thisdaylive.com/articles/brymo-i-would-have-been-a-footballer/130864/
Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.punchng.com/entertainment/life-beat/dad-was-furious-about-my-choice-of-career-brymo-arambe-exponent/
Corrected formatting/usage for http://sunnewsonline.com/new/entertainment/brymos-burst-of-fire-and-brimstone/
Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.punchng.com/spice/culture/im-no-longer-a-hook-master-brymo/
Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.punchng.com/entertainment/saturday-beats/brymo-set-to-release-album/
Corrected formatting/usage for http://sunnewsonline.com/new/?p=66850
When you have finished reviewing my changes, please set the checked parameter below to true or failed to let others know (documentation at {{Sourcecheck}}).
This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.
Cheers.—cyberbot IITalk to my owner:Online 23:35, 26 May 2016 (UTC)

Hello fellow Wikipedians,
I have just modified one external link on Brymo. Please take a moment to review my edit. If you have any questions, or need the bot to ignore the links, or the page altogether, please visit this simple FaQ for additional information. I made the following changes:

Corrected formatting/usage for http://www.punchng.com/news/court-vacates-order-restraining-brymo-from-releasing-albums/
When you have finished reviewing my changes, please set the checked parameter below to true or failed to let others know (documentation at {{Sourcecheck}}).
This message was posted before February 2018. After February 2018, "External links modified" talk page sections are no longer generated or monitored by InternetArchiveBot. No special action is required regarding these talk page notices, other than regular verification using the archive tool instructions below. Editors have permission to delete these "External links modified" talk page sections if they want to de-clutter talk pages, but see the RfC before doing mass systematic removals. This message is updated dynamically through the template {{source check}} (last update: 5 June 2024).

If you have discovered URLs which were erroneously considered dead by the bot, you can report them with this tool.
If you found an error with any archives or the URLs themselves, you can fix them with this tool.
Cheers.—cyberbot IITalk to my owner:Online 22:52, 29 May 2016 (UTC)

Versace1608, the unfit url parameter should be set to yes only if there is inapproppriate content: "spam, advertising, porn, etc.". 404 and other broken links should not be hidden as unfit. – Finnusertop (talk ⋅ contribs) 18:34, 7 January 2017 (UTC)

@Finnusertop: I'm sorry but I don't quite understand what this is about. Please elaborate.  Versace1608  Wanna Talk? 20:18, 7 January 2017 (UTC)
Versace1608, refs 7, 8, 9, 11, 19, 30, and 48 contain archive links, which is fine. The guideline is not to supress the link to the original (by setting deadurl=unfit) unless there is a problematic content in there (which a "page not found" is not). I thought that you, as the GA nominator, were familiar with the referencing of this article. If this is someone else's work, you can ignore it; this is not a big deal. – Finnusertop (talk ⋅ contribs) 21:31, 7 January 2017 (UTC)
Thanks for elaborating. I am going to fix this issue tomorrow. I don't believe the archive references contain problematic content.  Versace1608  Wanna Talk? 02:44, 8 January 2017 (UTC)
@Finnusertop: I have removed the deadurl=unfit parameter from the reference templates. Sorry for taking so long to fix the issue.  Versace1608  Wanna Talk? 00:38, 7 March 2017 (UTC)

This discussion is transcluded from Talk:Brymo/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the reassessment.
Abandoned This has been open for years, so I am closing this. If another editor thinks it does not meet the criteria they are free to open a new one. AIRcorn (talk) 11:02, 25 January 2019 (UTC)
This article does not meet the GA criteria in some important areas, most notably "well-written". There are some odd word choices and structural issues that need work before the article truly meets the well-written, clear and concise criteria. Examples include sentences like

His hastily decision to quit school was a result of his father not being able to pay his school fees. This clearly need fixing, even if it was only replacing "hastily" with "hasty". However, on further examination, the entire sentence does not accurately reflect the source; there's nothing in that article about haste. It's presented there as Brymo's choice, as if there could have been a way for him to remain even though his father couldn't pay the fees.
There are a number of places where the wrong word was used, such as
The Punch also reported that Brymo was invited to the school to partake in the case study presentation with "partake".
According to The Nation newspaper, Brymo and his management met with Chocolate City representatives in October 2013 to deliberate on mutually-agreeable terms with "deliberate".
There is also a great deal of repetition, such as in the Chocolate City departure paragraph (which is itself quite large and could be split after a rewrite).
Three sentences in a row have reported that (and two of them use it was reported that); there needs to be variation in wording and sentence structure.
Two consecutive sentences of "In [month] 2013" are followed by three "On [day] October 2013"; it reads like a timeline, not a series of related events. This continues later in the paragraph, especially in the postponements, where "In [month] 2014, [publication] reported that the case was postponed to [day] [same month] 2014"
The phrase "the legal team from both parties" is used twice; these are two separate legal teams, not a single one.
While these are significant, the biggest problem I believe the article has is structural. The chronology skips back and forth: the second paragraph under Early life and career beginnings belongs between the first two paragraphs of the next section. There is nothing initially to indicate that Merchants, Dealers & Slaves was not released under Chocolate City; it isn't until you get to the section specifically about that label and piece things together that you realize that the album was not only self-released, but only a day after it was the injunction came down that prevented it from being sold for about five months, which is doubtless why the discs weren't available until that later time. There's also no indication anywhere that the album had "relatively low acceptance unlike his previous works", as stated in The Punch source—of course, there may not be any information about whether the acceptance might have been hurt by the legal troubles that made the music unavailable for five months right after its release. However, it does make you wonder about that album, especially as the article says that The Nation included TheSonOfaKapenta on its list of the "Albums that failed commercially in 2012", and Son was his second album.
As noted earlier, the Chocolate City departure paragraph mostly reads like a timeline, not a narration of what happened—the general sweep, important events like the Spinlet deal that fell through, the injunction and its lifting, and the final result (which is basically unknown, except that Brymo said he didn't win but didn't say what he lost, if anything, when the case was "scrapped", and he kept releasing albums). 
This should be enough to start on. When these matters are dealt with, I will do a second-pass review on all of the GA criteria. You might also wish to request a copyedit from the Guild of Copy Editors if some of the prose issues such as word choices need another set of eyes to find. BlueMoonset (talk) 20:06, 27 December 2017 (UTC)

Hi BlueMoonset, I am writing you to inform you that I have made the necessary changes to the Brymo article. I completely removed the statement that talked about the subject quitting school. I replaced the terms "partake" and "deliberate" with words I feel are appropriate. I removed the three consecutive sentences that talked about the case being adjourned, and fixed the statement about the legal teams. Moreover, I moved the second paragraph in the Early life section to the next section. With regard to the M, D & S album, I only included information that is sourced. I don't see how that section could be improved. With regard to album sales, Nigeria (and much of Africa) doesn't have a structured music industry. The country doesn't have platforms in place to determine how many records artists are selling, so the article published by The Nation isn't relevant.  Versace1608  Wanna Talk? 01:44, 18 January 2018 (UTC)
@BlueMoonset: Ping in case you have forgotten this. AIRcorn (talk) 00:13, 26 March 2018 (UTC)
Thanks, Aircorn. I haven't forgotten about it, but I haven't had the time to do the necessary in-depth review, which would involve re-reading all the sources and reacquainting myself with the artist's story. Versace1608, I still think a request for a GA-level copyedit at the Guild of Copy Editors should be done right away for safety's sake; I've seen their work, and it would almost certainly improve the flow and wording of the article. BlueMoonset (talk) 00:32, 26 March 2018 (UTC)
If you have a specific question let me know, otherwise I will leave it in your capable hands. AIRcorn (talk) 00:54, 26 March 2018 (UTC)
The article was finally been submitted to the GOCE a few days ago, so I'm going to wait for the copyedit to be done before continuing. BlueMoonset (talk) 14:15, 21 April 2018 (UTC)
@BlueMoonset:Copy edit has been done. AIRcorn (talk) 07:59, 13 May 2018 (UTC)
@BlueMoonset: Been a couple of months since the last edit at the article. Is this ready to be closed? AIRcorn (talk) 07:25, 27 June 2018 (UTC)
This is coming up to eight months. If action is not taken soon I will close it as abandoned. AIRcorn (talk) 09:30, 26 August 2018 (UTC)