# Talk:Luochahai City

This review is transcluded from Talk:Luochahai City/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Nominator: Bremps (talk · contribs) 21:39, 21 May 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 11:05, 29 September 2024 (UTC)

It is reasonably well written.
a. (prose, spelling, and grammar): 

b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): 

It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a. (reference section): 

b. (citations to reliable sources): 

c. (OR): 

d. (copyvio and plagiarism): 

It is broad in its coverage.
a. (major aspects): 

b. (focused): 

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 

It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): 

b. (appropriate use with suitable captions): 

Overall:
Pass/fail: 

(Criteria marked  are unassessed)
You have been waiting too long for this, so I will review now of course! --K. Peake 11:05, 29 September 2024 (UTC)


### Infobox and lead
The infobox release date may be of the song on the album, but this still needs to be sourced in the body
 Not done you need to list the exact release date in the body for it to be properly sourced --K. Peake 18:18, 4 October 2024 (UTC)
Remove jazz and rhythm and blues from the genres since these are only sourced as elements
Remove full-stop at the end of the length
Audio sample should be in the body instead with info added to the text
The lead is too short; information needs to be added about the composition, more on lyrics and reception too
 Not done Clearly a lack of comp info and not much more about lyrics, couldn't you expand reception too? --K. Peake 18:18, 4 October 2024 (UTC)
"The song is inspired by" → "The song was inspired by" and shouldn't the name of the story be surrounded by speech marks?
"Described as Dao's "comeback anthem"," should be re-worded as something to make it more clear that this was after he produced little for a decade
 Not done I don't think direct quotes are suitable here; put things into your own words please. --K. Peake 18:18, 4 October 2024 (UTC)
"it was streamed over 10 billion times within two months of its release," → "it was viewed over 10 billion times within two months of release," per the body
"and attracted widespread speculation as to the meaning of its "cryptic" and "absurd"" → "The song attracted speculation as to the meaning of its satirical" to summarize better, starting a new sentence and add a bit more about the lyrical content of the song too
 Comment: what happened to this? --K. Peake 18:18, 4 October 2024 (UTC)


### Background
"(as of January 2005)," → "by January 2005,"
[3][1][4][5] should be in numerical order
 Not done --K. Peake 18:18, 4 October 2024 (UTC)
[3][1][6] should be in numerical order
Change "in 2023" to mentioning the exact date of the album instead so the release date in the infobox is sourced


### Composition
#### Inspiration
Move img to the left
The story named in the infobox should be mentioned in prose here for it to properly sourced


#### Lyrics, interpretation and instrumentation
[3] should only be invoked at the end of the first sentence not after cryptic too, as the end is literally next from this
Ditto for the Ludwig Wittgenstein sentence especially since there is another ref backing this up
Pipe compound ideograph to Compound ideographs itself per MOS:LINK2SECT
Img looks good!
"Chinese music industry, including Na Ying," → "Chinese music industry, including Ying,"
"believed that this song" → "believed that the song" but this quote does not appear to be sourced
"readings draw parallels" → "readings drew parallels"
"that dominates throughout."" → "that dominates throughout"." per MOS:QUOTE


### Reception and charts
Retitle to Reception since chart performance counts as a form of this
Mention the names of any reviewers who are identified from the sources
 Not done you missed a couple --K. Peake 18:18, 4 October 2024 (UTC)
"volcanic anti-establishment mentality."" → "volcanic anti-establishment mentality"." per MOS:QUOTE
"Singer Wang Feng, who is possibly" → "Feng, who is possibly" since his full name was already used in the previous section


#### Commercial performance
"and as of December 29, 2023," → "and up to December 29, 2023,"


### Notes
[3] does not need to be invoked since it is already at the end of the same sentence as the note in prose


### References
Copyvio cannot be checked, but looks like an absence of quotes mostly
Cite What's on Weido as website on ref 1
Wikilink South China Morning Post on ref 2
Cite BBC News as publisher with the wikilink on ref 4
Wikilink The Economist on ref 5
Cite Hudson Institute as the publisher with wikilink on ref 9
Cite DW as publisher and pipe to Deutsche Welle on ref 10
Wikilink The Japan News on ref 11
Wikilink United Daily News on ref 12
Pipe Billboard to Billboard (magazine) on ref 13


### Final comments and verdict
 On hold until all of the issues are fixed; this was fast after your long wait! --K. Peake 16:16, 29 September 2024 (UTC)
Hello @Kyle Peake, thank you very much for reviewing my article. I will most likely address the issues during WikiConference North America (which starts on the 4th). I hope that the timeframe is fine by you. Cheers, Bremps... 20:05, 30 September 2024 (UTC)
Bremps Yeah no problem at all, the usual time frame for hold is 7 days so that's well within it anyway! --K. Peake 20:18, 30 September 2024 (UTC)
@Kyle Peake Hello Kyle, I think I addressed everything (I pasted everything on a Google Doc and deleted the suggestions one by one as I did them). Could you please review it as soon as convenient? Cheers, Bremps... 15:32, 4 October 2024 (UTC)
@Bremps: There are some issues left unfixed, which I have identified above – please have a look and get back to me! --K. Peake 18:18, 4 October 2024 (UTC)
@Kyle Peake: Sorry for the delay. I believe it is ready now. Some sources simply don't have listed individual authors, so I hope that's fine. I expanded reception a bit and added a lot to the lede. I removed some gratuitous quoting as you suggested. Release date is now sourced. Citations have been reordered. There's now more information about the composition of the song. If I'm not terribly mistaken, I think we're good to go. Bremps... 13:02, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
@Bremps:  Pass now, I did some brief copy edits although you have done a great job implementing the vast majority yourself well done! --K. Peake 18:43, 6 October 2024 (UTC)
Thank you Kyle Peake! That was a thorough review. Bremps... 18:47, 6 October 2024 (UTC)