# Talk:Mitch Henderson

This review is transcluded from Talk:Mitch Henderson/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Muboshgu (talk · contribs) 15:37, 15 December 2011 (UTC)

He was drafted by the Yankees. Did he sign? Some two-sport players dabble in both professionally. It doesn't look like he did, since he went to college after being drafted, but I have more understanding of how that works than the average reader.
O.K.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)  14:19, 16 December 2011 (UTC)
"...captain of the undefeated (in conference) Ivy League champion..." I understand this to mean that the Tigers were undefeated in conference play, but not undefeated on the regular season. I think some prose tightening could make that a bit more clear to the lay reader.
done.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)  13:01, 16 December 2011 (UTC)
"The 1995–96 team was memorable for its upset..." memorable seems to be in line with WP:WTW
done.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)  13:02, 16 December 2011 (UTC)
Some sentences would be better broken in two, like "The 1996–97 team finished the regular season on a school record 19-game winning streak,[6][7] and in the 1997 NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament, against the fifth-seeded California Golden Bears, the team lost 55–52."
O.K. Feel free to note others.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)  14:00, 16 December 2011 (UTC)
"Failed to appear" makes it sound like it was all on him. Should be reworded to ensure neutrality.
Not sure what you are looking for, but I changed it to "made no appearances".--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)  14:03, 16 December 2011 (UTC)
"Coaching career" section is a little unclear, as we jump straight from his playing career in 1999 to his being head coach of Princeton in 2010. A more linear approach would help.
arranged chronologically.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)  14:06, 16 December 2011 (UTC)
"Northwestern is not known for having the most athletic players in the Big Ten Conference, causing Carmody to use Henderson, who commonly scrimmaged with the players, as part of a joke for a Sports Illustrated: "I don't mind that Mitch is cagier and smarter than all those guys on the court. The thing that bothers me is that he's faster than all of them." - awkward prose
I tried to fix this. I assume you are not complaining about the part in quotes.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)  14:10, 16 December 2011 (UTC)
I'm guessing there are no free images available? A cursory scan of Flickr didn't come up with anything.
Correct.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)  14:07, 16 December 2011 (UTC)
I'll put this on hold. – Muboshgu (talk) 18:16, 15 December 2011 (UTC)

That addressed all the comments I had. This passes muster. – Muboshgu (talk) 14:51, 16 December 2011 (UTC)
Why doesn't this have date and place of birth? It only says he went to high school in South Bend. PumpkinSky talk 16:35, 16 December 2011 (UTC)

You're right, that's an oversight on Tony's part and mine as well. I'll put this back on hold until that's added, and will recheck the article. – Muboshgu (talk) 17:18, 16 December 2011 (UTC)
I don't know if putting it back on hold is warranted, maybe, but it'd be nice if that info were added. PumpkinSky talk 22:04, 16 December 2011 (UTC)
I'm fairly new to reviewing, so I'm not sure the protocol. I see that the external link has his DOB, so I'll add it. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:28, 16 December 2011 (UTC)