# Talk:Cyclone Alby

This review is transcluded from Talk:Severe Tropical Cyclone Alby/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  03:39, 1 March 2011 (UTC)

Watch for overlinking (Western Australia is linked in two consecutive sentences)
Only instance of overlinking that I see Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:52, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
Glad you double-checked anyway... that was the first thing I noticed :P --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  16:20, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
Were the two indirect fire fatalities actually related to Alby?
Yes, the fires were fueld by Alby and the BOM includes the fires as part of the overall impact. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:52, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
OK, just checking. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  16:20, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
"According to the Joint Typhoon Warning Centre (JTWC), the system was classified as a tropical storm early on 29 March" - three things. First, isn't it "Center" and not "Centre"? Second, when did BoM say it became a TS? Third, if the JTWC classified it as a TS, how can it be "according to the JTWC"? It's just a fact that the JTWC classified it as a TS.
First- Local dialect; Second- Added; Third- Reworded Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:52, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
You shouldn't use local dialect to change an official name, though. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  16:20, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
Changed. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:46, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
"This rapid acceleration was attributed the cyclone's interaction with a cold front to its south" - missing word "was attributed to...", although might I suggest "was due to the cyclone's..."
Fixed with the latter Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:52, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
Much better. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  16:20, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
"The intense winds, seemingly unprecedented for many in the region" - I'm tripped up on the "seemingly". Might "considered" work better?
Used considered Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:52, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
Thx. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  16:20, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
"The asymmetrical structure, with most thunderstorm activity to the south, of Alby combined with its fast movement limited rainfall." - commafail?
Moreso word placement fail Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:52, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
I still think that sentence is poorly structured. Is there any way you can make it flow better? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  16:20, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
I can't think of anything, any suggestions? Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:46, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
"as well as the future growth of 200,000 m3 (7 million ft3) to established trees" - I'm really confused what that means
That's the loss of future potential timber from already matured trees. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:52, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
Could you clarify/make it a little easier to read then in the article? --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  16:20, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
I made an attempt at rewording, hopefully it's better. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 18:46, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
"Tides across the region were expected to be increased but not substantially; however, all values were exceeded by at least 0.3 m (0.98 ft)." - can you condense that a bit and make it simpler?
Split into two sentences and reworded. Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:52, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
Kl. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  16:20, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
How much, if any, of the damage was from the fires?
Unknown as far as I can tell Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:52, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
All in all, though, a good read. Just those simple little things should do it. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  03:39, 1 March 2011 (UTC)

Thanks for the review Hink! :) Cyclonebiskit (talk) 12:52, 1 March 2011 (UTC)
OK, just a few things I'd like clarification on. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  16:20, 1 March 2011 (UTC)

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