# Talk:Kiki Cuyler

This review is transcluded from Talk:Kiki Cuyler/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 20:56, 11 January 2020 (UTC)
Going to take a look at this one. MWright96 (talk) 20:56, 11 January 2020 (UTC)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):  b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): 
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 

It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 

Overall:
Pass/Fail: 


### Early life
"Cuyler was born in Harrisville, Michigan, on August 30, 1898,[3][1]" - refs should be in numerical order - Done Hamma085 (talk) 14:01, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"George had lived and played semipro baseball" - more formal; semi-professional - Done Hamma085 (talk) 14:01, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"He played for the Buick plant baseball team and played in the Industrial League" - try to avoid reptition of the same word in the same sentence - Done Hamma085 (talk) 14:01, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"Cuyler grew into a star athlete" - not so sure that the word "star" is appropriate in this instance. Please use a more neutral word - Done, split into two sentences as it ran on a bit. Hamma085 (talk) 14:01, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
Link batting average and triples to the relevant articles for those unfamiliar with baseball - Done Hamma085 (talk) 14:01, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"The Bay City Wolves, of the Michigan-Ontario League, signed Cuyler to a contract in 1920, and in that season he had a batting average of .317 and compiled 16 triples, in September of that year his contract was purchased by the Pittsburgh Pirates." - split this portion of text into three sentences rather than one overly long run-on sentence - Done Hamma085 (talk) 14:01, 12 January 2020 (UTC)


### Career
Hyphens used in all scores stated in the article should be replaced with en dashes I believe I got all of them Hamma085 (talk) 15:25, 12 January 2020 (UTC)


### Pittsburgh Pirates
"He was promoted to the Pirates for his first full major league season in 1924,[12] he played a platoon outfield position, splitting time with Carson Bigbee." - either use a period or a semicolon to split this sentence into two - Done Hamma085 (talk) 14:23, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"in a 16-4 win over the Philadelphia Phillies. At the end of the season he had a batting average of .354, and scored 94 runs and stolen 32 bases in only 117 games played." - Fleitz's book does not mention this but the Cuyler's Game Logs from 1924 as recorded by Baseball Reference does. I suggest moving the 1924 Baseball Reference citation to the end of this particular section of text - Done Hamma085 (talk) 14:09, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"the Pirates won the seventh game with a score of 9-7." - this sentence is not cited and will require the use of Fleitz's book to verify the information - Done Hamma085 (talk) 14:09, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"This was the first and only time Cuyler would win a World Series." - same issue as above - Done, used baseball reference page
"the very compact baseball stadium in Philadelphia.[17][14]" - refs should be in numerical order - Done, there were more that were not in order and I fixed those. Hamma085 (talk) 14:09, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"In April 1926 Paul Waner joined the Pirates" - How about moving the words "In April 1926" to the end of this text for variety - done Hamma085 (talk) 14:09, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"The middle of the 1926 season was a turning point for Cuyler and the team," - think maybe remove "1926" since the year is mentioned two sentences prior - Done Hamma085 (talk) 14:23, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
Link stolen bases and doubles to the correct articles for readers not familiar with baseball - Added link to stolen base earlier in article Hamma085 (talk) 14:23, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"The result of the vote was 18-6 in favor of keeping Clarke," the vote result is not mentioned by SABR; another source is required to verify the information - Done, another Sabr article mentions it and I've linked that one. Hamma085 (talk) 14:23, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"Cuyler was traded to the Chicago Cubs for Sparky Adams and Pete Scott." - it would help to briefly mention the positions of Adams and Scott. - Done, they played maybe outfield or infield positions and linked those articles. Hamma085 (talk) 14:23, 12 January 2020 (UTC)


### Chicago Cubs and later career
"who was coached by Cuyler when he was coaching the 1949 Boston Red Sox," - this change is more compact and eliminates uncessary reptition who Cuyler coached at the 1949 Boston Red Sox, - Done Hamma085 (talk) 15:12, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"The following year was another successful year for Cuyler," - an improvement; The following year was also successful for Cuyler: - Done Hamma085 (talk) 15:12, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"he collected over 200 hits for the third time in his career, it would also be the" - and it - Done Hamma085 (talk) 15:12, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"After a poor performance in the first half of the 1935 season, where he hit .268," - The Brooklyn Eagle does not mention any of this text; SABR and Cuyler's generalized Baseball Reference citation does though. I suggest using those sources to verify the information  added both to the section of where he hit .268, the brooklyn eagle cites the release of Cuyler by the cubs
"The next season was a bounce back season" - try to avoid wording such as "bounce back" because it is informal - Cuyler was healthy the next season, Hamma085 (talk) 15:22, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"Cuyler got struck down by injury again," - similar issue to the query above - Suffered another injury
Link free agent and spring training for non-Sports readers - Done Hamma085 (talk) 15:22, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"He started 58 games in 1938 for the Dodgers, and was released on September 16 of that year, he was signed as a coach for the rest of the season." - this is a run-on sentence. Split it into two, preferably start the second when it mentions Cuyler was signed as a coach - done Hamma085 (talk) 15:22, 12 January 2020 (UTC)


### Later life and legacy
"While ice fishing in Glennie, Michigan on February 2, 1950 he suffered a heart attack." - how about He suffered a heart attack while ice fishing in Glennie, Michigan on February 2, 1950. - Done Hamma085 (talk) 15:06, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"and when it worsened he was sent to a hospital in Ann Arbor, Michigan, but died on the way" - better and more compact {{xt|in [[Ann Arbor, Michigan|Ann Arbor; he died en route}} - Done Hamma085 (talk) 15:06, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"His remains are interred in Saint Anne Cemetery in Harrisville Township, Michigan." - this sentence is uncited and will require a reliable source to verify the information - Done Hamma085 (talk) 15:06, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"stated the Cuyler was "A model on and off the field"" - that Cuyler was "a model on an off the field".}} - Done Hamma085 (talk) 15:06, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
"Cuyler's son Harold opened a restaurant after his fathers" - typo; should be worded as father's - Done Hamma085 (talk) 15:06, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
Italize The Sporting News to reflect it was a print publication at the time - Done Hamma085 (talk) 15:06, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
It would help to very briefly explain who Lawrence Ritter and Donald Honig - Removed reference of both authors and the book as I could not find a mention of Cuyler within it. Hamma085 (talk) 15:06, 12 January 2020 (UTC)


### References
Reference 6 should have the author who wrote the article include and the page number it is featured on - Done, Thoma Holmes, Page 8 Hamma085 (talk) 14:29, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
Reference 23 is dead and the link for it needs updating; otherwise the link should be removed and left bare - Looks like all milwaukee journal archives from google newspapers are dead links, wayback machine did not have this particular one
References 30 and 33 should include Associated Press as the agency who provided the story to The Brooklyn Eagle - Done, references are now 31 and 34
Reference 37 should have the page where the story is found in the newspaper - Done, page 1 of the sports section Hamma085 (talk) 14:37, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
Reference 42 will require the inclusion of the page number that mentions the information it is used to cite in the article - Removed as I could not find a reference to Cuyler in the book
Reference 48 should have the newspaper in the work section and not the last= field. Also that same reference has the name of the author who wrote it included Reference 44, Done Hamma085 (talk) 14:51, 12 January 2020 (UTC)


### Further reading
The SABR link is not required since it is used as a reference multiple times in the article - Done Hamma085 (talk) 14:01, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
This articles contains some minor and major issues. The minor issues concern some grammatical problems and words to watch and lacking detail in certain references. One of the main issues concern that some of the placing of references in the article are incorrect that lead to some portions of article being currently unverified and need to be addressed. Will put the review on hold for the time being. MWright96 (talk) 10:44, 12 January 2020 (UTC)

I believe I have addressed all of the points mentioned, please let me know if I missed anything. Thanks you, Hamma085 (talk) 15:26, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
@Hamma085: The mention of Culyer's 1968 induction into the baseball of fame in the Later life and legacy section is uncited. However, the SABR source does so that can be used. MWright96 (talk) 18:01, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
@MWright96: I have added a reference to the SABR bio. Hamma085 (talk) 18:06, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
@Hamma085: Lovely. Am now promoting the article to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 20:14, 12 January 2020 (UTC)
@MWright96: Fantastic, thatnks for your help! Hamma085 (talk) 20:26, 12 January 2020 (UTC)