# Talk:Frances McConnell-Mills

This review is transcluded from Talk:Frances McConnell-Mills/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Cwmhiraeth (talk · contribs) 18:23, 6 August 2014 (UTC)

I propose to review this article for GA and will be starting shortly. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 18:23, 6 August 2014 (UTC)


### First reading
This is a well-written and well-structured article with little to fault. Just a few quibbles:

The lead is meant to be a summary of the body of the text. In this article it contains information not found later.
"Although her father had previously paid for 17 men to attend medical school," - Can you expand on this? Who were these seventeen men?
"In 1930, she investigated the death of a ten-year-old Denver girl in what would become the city's "most famous and controversial murder case" at the time." - This sentence is confusing.
"McConnell also discovered that Anna Marie Hahn had killed Georg Obendoerfer with a lethal dose of arsenic, which led to further investigations confirming that Hahn had killed previous men in the same way." - As a forensic pathologist, McConnell was able to establish cause of death but not who murdered the victim!
"While working for otolaryngologist Harry Baum, she invented a hair rinse which Baum called "Noreen" and was produced until the 1990s." - This sentence is ungrammatical.
"In 1999, her daughter Jeanne Varnell, a writer, published a book ..." - The "a writer" seems redundant, if she was writing a book, then she was a writer.
It would be nice to include an image in the article. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:40, 7 August 2014 (UTC)
Thanks for the review, Cwmhiraeth. I think I've addressed all the points you raised about wording and grammar, and incorporated information from the lead into the rest of the article. Unfortunately, the source doesn't mention any more info about her father's 17 men, so I don't think it can be expanded. Since it's proved impossible to find an image of McConnell herself, do you have any suggestions about other relevant images to be included in the article? 97198 (talk) 08:38, 8 August 2014 (UTC)
You could add an image of one of the places or events linked to her career, but it is not a GA requirement that an article includes images. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 10:45, 8 August 2014 (UTC)
Okay, I've added two images of hospitals where she worked. 97198 (talk) 12:16, 8 August 2014 (UTC)


### GA criteria
The article is well written and complies with MOS guidelines on prose and grammar, structure and layout.
The article relies heavily on a single, reliable third-party source. I do not believe the article contains original research. 
The article covers the main aspects of the subject and remains focussed. 
The article is neutral. 
The article was created in July 2014 by the nominator and is stable. 
The images are relevant, have suitable captions and are properly licensed. 
Final assessment - I believe this article reaches the GA criteria. Cwmhiraeth (talk) 05:53, 11 August 2014 (UTC)
Thanks, Cwmhiraeth! 97198 (talk) 10:44, 11 August 2014 (UTC)