# Talk:Fred Dyer

This review is transcluded from Talk:Fred Dyer/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 05:15, 29 June 2012 (UTC)
I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 05:15, 29 June 2012 (UTC)
Here are the issues I found:

Given the size of the article, the lead should at least be two paragraphs.
 Done, but may need a reread. FruitMonkey (talk) 16:05, 30 June 2012 (UTC)
"Boxing magazine, reported in January 1910, that his fight against" neither comma needed.
 Done FruitMonkey (talk) 14:14, 30 June 2012 (UTC)
"but the fight with Emden was to end in defeat and would affect his future boxing career." the voice feels a little overly passive here; reword to make more active.
 Done FruitMonkey (talk) 15:14, 30 June 2012 (UTC)
"The injury to his right plagued" his right knee
 Done FruitMonkey (talk) 14:16, 30 June 2012 (UTC)
"- who would later become British and European middleweight champion - " I presume these are meant to be mdashes; fix them.
 Done FruitMonkey (talk) 14:29, 30 June 2012 (UTC)
Uses of twenty round should be changed to 20 round per MOSNUM.
 Done FruitMonkey (talk) 14:10, 30 June 2012 (UTC)
"setting up a boxing fund for injured soldiers in Sydney;[28] and " comma instead of semicolon
 Done FruitMonkey (talk) 14:31, 30 June 2012 (UTC)
"Dyer's persistency eventually paid off," persistence
 Done FruitMonkey (talk) 14:16, 30 June 2012 (UTC)
"A match was made but Lewis damaged a finger" that sounds a little odd; perhaps injured it?
 Done FruitMonkey (talk) 14:54, 30 June 2012 (UTC)
"In late 1917 Dyer faced Tommy Robson again, in two" no comma needed.
 Done FruitMonkey (talk) 14:30, 30 June 2012 (UTC)
"and in the later half of 1919" latter half
 Done FruitMonkey (talk) 14:11, 30 June 2012 (UTC)
"A fight against Jim Slater in January 1922 is believed to be his last bout." I'd prefer a cite for this.
 Done Although I dislike using Boxrec as a source it is the best available for this info.FruitMonkey (talk) 15:12, 30 June 2012 (UTC)
The boxing record section should be sourced.
 Done I have added three cites to this section. None make the challenge that it is incorrect, but it is one that is made on several blogs. I believe it is worth adding as it stops others from including this information which is now believed incorrect. FruitMonkey (talk) 21:46, 30 June 2012 (UTC)
I'll put the article on hold and iwll pass when the issues are fixed. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 18:31, 29 June 2012 (UTC)

Everything looks good now, so I'll pass the article. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 22:57, 30 June 2012 (UTC)