# Talk:Jordan Slew

This review is transcluded from Talk:Jordan Slew/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 16:30, 30 June 2013 (UTC)
Comments

"A product of..." not sure how global this is really, maybe just be more basic.
Reworded. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
Shouldn't 86th minute be hyphenated?
Done. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
"Slew then signed his.." no need to repeat surname here, perhaps "He then signed..
Changed. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
professional debut happened before professional contract.  That's confusing to some of the non-expert readers.
Changed to 'first-team debut'. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
"late substitute " hyphenate.
Done. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
"He made eight appearances in total for the club" infobox says 11, but then there could be some confusion with when the transfer window took place.
He signed for Blackburn at the end of the window so played all the league games in august for United.  I've added in a bit more info to clarify. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
Consider linking "leg" for non-experts.
Done. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
"By May 2011, a number of Premier League and Championship teams had enquired about acquiring Slew's services, with United turning down a £500,000 offer from Fulham.[14][15][16][17]" four refs?  Why?
An over enthusiastic editor - I've cut them back to two. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
Link Bramall Lane.
Done. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
Don't overlink Manchester United.
One links to their academy team for the youth FA cup and one to the parent club for the league appearance.  Not sure what else I can do about that?  Open to suggestions? Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
Perhaps make it clearer (i.e. less Easter egg-like) and explicitly mention the Academy...?  The Rambling Man (talk) 16:28, 2 July 2013 (UTC)
Good call - done. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 20:05, 2 July 2013 (UTC)
"Slew signed for Premier League side Blackburn Rovers on transfer deadline day, Blackburn paying a fee of £1.1 million for the player,[4][20] and Slew signing a four-year" yuck.  Rephrase.  Don't repeat Slew, no need, and try not to have such a mammoth sentence.
Split it out and revised. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
"a deail to" typo.
Fixed. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
I don't think you need to relink things in every section (e.g. Championship).
I was under the impression you should link on fist instance within sections (as someone jumping straight to that section, particularly on mobile, won't have seen a link earlier n the text) although this seems to be a moot point so have removed as advised. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
Fair point for mobile browsing, I hadn't even thought of that.  Sorry to waste your time on this point, if you want to put the links back, that's just fine.  The Rambling Man (talk) 16:28, 2 July 2013 (UTC)
As I said, it's a moot point and MOS needs clarifying so I'm fine to go with your view mate. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 20:05, 2 July 2013 (UTC)


### GAN criteria
GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality: 
Could be better.
B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists: 
Could be better.
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. Has an appropriate reference section: 

B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary: 

C. No original research: 

Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects: 

B. Focused: 

Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias: 

Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc: 

Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content: 

B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions: 

Overall:
Pass or Fail: 

On hold, pending the comments above.  The Rambling Man (talk) 16:49, 30 June 2013 (UTC)

Hi - I'm a bit busy with work at the moment - will work on this over the course of the next week or so.  Thanks Bladeboy1889 (talk) 20:18, 30 June 2013 (UTC)
No problem.  Ping me in a week or so.  The Rambling Man (talk) 20:19, 30 June 2013 (UTC)
Done it in my lunch break.  One small query - see notes inline above.  Thanks. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 12:14, 1 July 2013 (UTC)
Responded above, nearly there. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:28, 2 July 2013 (UTC)
All good, well done. The Rambling Man (talk) 12:02, 5 July 2013 (UTC)

Just to demonstrate Slew only made those 2 appearances, here are the other line-ups from the remaining Radcliffe games in 2017-18 (which don't feature Slew):

 Nonleagueapps (talk) 18:14, 22 January 2024 (UTC)