# Talk:Girl at the End of the World

This review is transcluded from Talk:Girl at the End of the World/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 08:07, 5 December 2020 (UTC)

Good idea to try and wipe another November article out of the queue before Christmas! --K. Peake 08:07, 5 December 2020 (UTC)


### Infobox and lead
Infobox looks good
"produced the band's previous studio album" → "produced their previous studio album,"
"between May and September 2015" → "between May and September of 2015"
"Girl at the End of the World reprised La Petite Mort's" → "The album reprised its predecessor's"
"The album peaked at number two" → "It peaked at number two"
Mention Scotland chart position too since that is separate from the UK chart
"followed by the" → "being followed by the"
"a UK tour in May," → "a UK tour in May 2016,"
"over the next few months." → "over the succeeding few months."


### Background
Retitle to Background and development
Remove target on James
"their 13th studio album, La Petite Mort, in" → "their 13th studio album La Petite Mort in"
"the album was a" → "La Petite Mort was a"
"was planned for" → "had been planned for"
"The band travelled to" → "James travelled to"
"Tolbooth in Stirling, and" → "Tolbooth in Stirling and"
"taped to the windows" → "that were taped to the windows"
"They then moved to" → "The band then moved to"
Wikilink drum machine
Wikilink tempos
Wikilink iPhone
"All were recorded" → "All of them were recorded"
"it would be edited down to a three- to eight-minute" → "the jam would be edited down to a three-to eight-minute" but are you sure there shouldn't be a dash between to and eight?
"in attempt to come up" → "attempting to come up"


### Production
Retitle to Recording and production
"Offtape Studios in London with" → "Offtape Studios, which are both in London, with"
"throughout 2016: the first" → "throughout 2015; the first" because it was in 2015, not 2016
"For the July sessions," → "For the July block,"
"although some songs" → "although numerous songs"
"complete some lead-vocal" → "complete some lead vocals for"
"were the main engineers," → "served as the main engineers,"
"contacted Brian Eno (who had" → "contacted Brian Eno, who had"
"albums) about helping" → "albums, about helping"
"It was their first" → "This marked their first"
"the band's ninth studio album," → "the band's ninth studio album"
"September and early October" → "September and early October of 2015"
"Mothership (except for "Waking", which was done by Plattmeier) before" → "Mothership, with the exception of "Waking" being done by Plattmeier, before"


### Composition and lyrics
"gave the album" → "gave it"
"which was centred" → "which is centred"
"addressed a variety of" → "address a variety of"
Wikilink imagery
Wikilink electronic drums
Wikilink synthesizer
"and former James guitarist" → "and former guitarist"
"on that song and" → "on the song as well as"
"as the band's keyboardist," → "as James' keyboardist,"
"which begins a two-minute" → "that begins a two-minute"
"similar to Hawkwind." → "similar to the music of Hawkwind."
Wikilink upbeat per MOS:LINK2SECT
"It was compared to the Killers," → "The song was compared to music by the Killers,"
"had previously produced." → "had previously produced for."
"with a chorus which repeats" → "with a chorus that repeats"
"the song was about" → "the song is about"
Wikilink euphoria
Target piano ballad to Sentimental ballad
"that the change was made" → "that the change being made was decided"
"Pinky & Perky speed"." → "Pinky & Perky speed."" with the wikilink
"wrote the lyrics" → "wrote the song's lyrics"
"moving back to" → "before moving back to"
"and art in the" → "and art on the"
"James' fourth studio album," → "James' fourth studio album"
"riff reminiscent of" → "riff reminiscent of the music of"
"playing distorted riffs" → "with distorted riffs being played"
"droughts in California (where Booth lived)." → "droughts in California, where Booth lived."
Target to Casio CZ synthesizers should be on Casio-synthesized
"lyrics addressed "what" → "lyrics address "what"


### Release and touring
Retitle to Release and promotion
"to play these shows, and was replaced" → "to play the shows, being replaced"
Mention the month the song was made available for streaming; maybe write that same month since this sentence succeeds one about November 2015?
"premiered on" → "premiered via"
"for the album were" → "for Girl at the End of the World were"
"released as the" → "released as the album's"
"was released as a" → "was released as the"
"for streaming through" → "for streaming via"
Target The Telegraph to The Daily Telegraph
"18 March 2016 release on" → "18 March 2016 release through"
"with the label." → "with the record label." with the wikilink
"for "Girl at the End of the World" (also made by Merc) premiered" → "for "Girl at the End of the World", also made by Merc, premiered"
"it features Killers frontman" → "it features the Killers frontman"
"June and September 2016," → "June and September of 2016,"
"Péter Vácz, premiered on" → "Péter Vácz, premiered via"
Target Echo Arena to Liverpool Arena
Wikilink Liverpool
"in March and April 2017," → "during March and April of 2017,"
"as the third single" → "as the third single from Girl at the End of the World"
"in July and August 2017," → "in July and August of 2017,"
Wikilink Manchester


### Reception
Remove target on Under the Radar in prose (same for any other targets mentioned)
"which pushed James' sound," → "that pushed James' sound,"
Remove target on Clash
"had "some bad" → "has "some bad"
"wrote that although the album attempted" → "said that despite the album attempting"
Target rock to Rock music
"was "a little" → "is "a little"
"was "certainly a strong one," it wasn't" → "is "certainly a strong one," though it isn't"
"found it "much" → "found the album "much"
"the album was" → "the album is"
Wikilink crescendos
Target hooks to Hook (music)
"that were "intelligent," → "that are "intelligent,"
"nearly knocked Adele's album, 25 (2015)," → "came close to knocking Adele's album 25 (2015)"
"in the midweek charts" → "on the midweek chart"
"debuted at number two." → "debuted at number two on the chart."
"reached the top spot." → "reached the top spot on the Scottish Singles Chart." with the target
"region of Belgium." → "region of the country."


### Track listing
Good


### Personnel
According to the album booklet: → Personnel per booklet.


### Charts
Good


### References
Copyvio score looks moderately good at 28.6%
Make sure all of these that can be are archived using the tool
Remove or replace ref 2 per WP:RSSM
It's an interview with the band's bassist. Yeepsi (talk) 15:51, 5 December 2020 (UTC)
Target The Telegraph to The Daily Telegraph on ref 6
Remove target on James for ref 10
Target Clash to Clash (magazine) on ref 14
Ref 25 is a duplicate of ref 18
Ref 34 is a duplicate of ref 14


### External links
Good


### Final comments and verdict
 On hold until you fix the issues, though I have noticed that you've definitely got some great writing skills! --K. Peake 12:31, 5 December 2020 (UTC)
Done. Yeepsi (talk) 15:51, 5 December 2020 (UTC)
Yeepsi I have done some very brief copy editing, but will now  Pass this! --K. Peake 19:44, 5 December 2020 (UTC)