# Talk:Louis Ngwat-Mahop

This review is transcluded from Talk:Louis Clément Ngwat-Mahop/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Jezhotwells (talk) 16:57, 12 March 2011 (UTC)
I shall be reviewing this article against the Good Article criteria, following its nomination for Good Article status.
Disambiguations: two found and fixed.[1] Jezhotwells (talk) 17:04, 12 March 2011 (UTC)
Linkrot: none found. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:04, 12 March 2011 (UTC)


### Checking against GA criteria
GA review (see here for criteria)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):  b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): 
...due to issues that arose with his French passport, he signed for Austrian club Red Bull Salzburg. He spent three and a half years with Die Bullen We have two wikilinks to the same target in close proximity, perhaps just an explanation of the nickname?
The nickname was removed. The same applies for the second link of RB Salzburg.Hansi667 (talk) 10:19, 13 March 2011 (UTC)
The lead could do a little expansion to summarise the article better. See WP:LEAD
The lead is expanded. Hansi667 (talk) 10:19, 13 March 2011 (UTC)
Also the lead mentions his date and of birth but this is not in the article proper. Is there nothing else about schooling, etc.
I've added birthdate and birthplace in the article proper tofether with a citation. I've also added an information of Ngwat-Mahop having Samuel Eto'o as an idol. Hansi667 (talk) 10:19, 13 March 2011 (UTC)
We have multiple wikilinking throughout.  A rough guide would be once in the lead and once in the artcile proper. See WP:OVERLINKING
I removed a lot of wikilinks, leaving one in the lead and one in the article proper. Hansi667 (talk) 10:19, 13 March 2011 (UTC)
After that Ngwat-Mahop started wandering in France and Germany with the German police in his pursuit. I don't think "wandering2 is the right word here.
I changed wandering with travelling. Hansi667 (talk) 10:19, 13 March 2011 (UTC)
Meanwhile, FC Saarbrücken, having just been relegated from Regionalliga Süd, sued Bayern for an alleged 1 million losses due to the relegation, asking FC Bayern Munich II to lose every game that Ngwat-Mahop was included, so Bayern II would be relegated instead of them Confusing, over complex and ungrammatical.  Also the currency needs to be specified.
=> Meanwhile, FC Saarbrücken, having just been relegated from Regionalliga Süd, sued Bayern for an alleged 1 million € losses due to its relegation. FC Saarbrücken asked FC Bayern Munich II to lose every game that Ngwat-Mahop was included. This would result in Bayern's II relegation instead of Saarbrücken. The currency was also added (€). Hansi667 (talk) 10:19, 13 March 2011 (UTC)
After being released by Bayern Ngwat-Mahop ended up as a trialist in Red Bull Salzburg. "with" rather than "in".  This type of mistake is common throughout the artcile so I am going to ask you to get it copy-edited.
I did some copy-editing, i think it's ok now. Hansi667 (talk) 10:19, 13 March 2011 (UTC)
Achievements: Presumably the club won the league, but this is not clear from how the information is presented.
I've added a citation from the Austrian Bundesliga's official site referring that RB Salzburg won the 2009 and 2010 championships. Hansi667 (talk) 10:19, 13 March 2011 (UTC)
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 
Career statistics need a citation.
Done. Hansi667 (talk) 10:19, 13 March 2011 (UTC)
Titles of citations should not be in block capitals.
Done. Hansi667 (talk) 10:19, 13 March 2011 (UTC)
Otherwise sources appear RS, support the statements as far as I can tell, no evidence of OR
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 
A little more detail on birth, upbringing as noted above.
I've added the information that he had Samuel Eto'o as a role model, but it was next to impossible to find further information, as he hasn't attracted much media attention yet. Apart from this there are some GA's that completeley lack such personal information (e.g. David Beharall, Barry Cogan. Hansi667 (talk) 10:19, 13 March 2011 (UTC)
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 

It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 
Captioned and tagged
Overall:
Pass/Fail: 
On hold for seven days for issues above to be addressed. Jezhotwells (talk) 17:24, 12 March 2011 (UTC)
Much improved, I am happy to list this now. Congratulations! Jezhotwells (talk) 13:56, 13 March 2011 (UTC)

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