# Talk:Henry Biard

This review is transcluded from Talk:Henry Biard/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Mertbiol (talk · contribs) 18:03, 16 January 2024 (UTC)
This is a fascinating and very well-written article about an intriguing man! I have made a few comments about the text below - mostly very minor. I have a few queries about some of the references, but no major problems that I can see. Mertbiol (talk) 18:03, 16 January 2024 (UTC) 


### Lead section
### Early life (1892–1919)
First paragraph, second sentence: Reference [5] (Barrie Bertram) says that Henry was the "middle son" rather than the "second of three" (he could have been the third of five or even fourth of seven!)


#### 1922 Schneider Trophy Victory
It might be worth changing this subsection title to "Schneider Trophy 1922: Naples" to match the next two subsection titles (or changing the next two subsection titles to match this one!).
Fixed the V. I can see the argument, but the fact that he won it is one of the most important facts in his biography, so there's value in the header being able to direct a casual reader to the "right" bit. Equally, adding "1923 defeat" seems a little harsh!  UndercoverClassicist T·C 10:25, 17 January 2024 (UTC)


#### Schneider Trophy 1923: Cowes
First paragraph, third sentence - I suggest rephrasing "moving its outer struts within the structure of the aircraft" to "repositioning its outer struts".
Not sure I see this one; precision of language is generally a good thing. I will freely admit to not really understanding all of the engineering stuff here, but it strikes me that at least some of our readers do and will be interested.  UndercoverClassicist T·C 10:25, 17 January 2024 (UTC)
First paragraph, fourth sentence - Would it be better to say "the modified aircraft" rather than "the new aircraft"?
Maybe; they did give it a new number, though, which I think means that they at least wanted to say that it was a whole new plane.  UndercoverClassicist T·C 10:25, 17 January 2024 (UTC)
First paragraph, fourth sentence - I suggest changing "50 hp more powerful than that used for the Sea Lion II" to "50 hp more powerful than before/previously" or similar.
I've now stuck "Sea Lion III" a bit earlier, so I think there's now a good balance between the two numbers, but not particularly committed to this point.  UndercoverClassicist T·C 10:25, 17 January 2024 (UTC)
Second paragraph, third sentence - this sentence is long (88 words). I suggest moving the final part (starting "during navigability trials on 27 September") to a footnote.
Have reworked, but kept in the body: there's a case for a footnote, but most people don't read them, and I think it's relevant to the withdrawal of the aircraft that it nearly killed someone, rather than it simply being a bit rubbish at flying.  UndercoverClassicist T·C 10:25, 17 January 2024 (UTC)


#### Other work for Supermarine
First paragraph, first sentence: I suggest replacing "he made the first flight of the Supermarine Southampton" with "he piloted the Supermarine Southampton on its maiden flight".
I see the repetition, but am reluctant to go with "maiden flight" for reasons above.  UndercoverClassicist T·C 10:25, 17 January 2024 (UTC)
First paragraph, third sentence: Reference [93a] (Andrews & Morgan 1981, p. 91) does not appear to support "leading to the adjustment of its angle of incidence and subsequent total redevelopment".
Still to do. Done -- was the wrong page (now fixed).  UndercoverClassicist T·C 10:10, 21 January 2024 (UTC)


### Sources check
I have checked the following references: [3] (see note above about the spelling of "Henri" and the capitalisation of "La" in "de la Faye"), [4], [5] (see note above about the number of sons of Raymond Biard and dates of Henry's attendance at Victoria College), [7], [14], [15], [17], [19] (see note above about Biard's rank), [24], [25], [26], [28] (see note about page numbers above), [34], [37], [39] (see note above about the start date for fascist rule in Italy), [41], [42], [43], [44] (see note above about the airspeed),  [47], [48], [50], [51], [53], [57], [58], [60] (see note about page number above), [63], [64], [66], [67], [74], [81], [93] (see comment above), [94], [95] (see note above about the exact quote), [96], [99], [102], [104] (see note about page number above), [109], [110], [112], [117], [118], [119], [120].


### Stopping here for now
Over to @UndercoverClassicist: Best wishes, Mertbiol (talk) 18:03, 16 January 2024 (UTC)

Thanks for taking this on. I'll probably get to it piecemeal - one reply above so far. Appreciate your time and thoroughness. I understand most of the comments; expect most to be straightforward, but I'll let you know where I could do with a bit more clarification.  UndercoverClassicist T·C 07:41, 17 January 2024 (UTC)


### One final minor point
### Putting the review on hold
There are just a few outstanding issues, so I will put the review on hold. Best wishes Mertbiol (talk) 20:20, 17 January 2024 (UTC)

Thanks: any objection if I move the resolved matters to a collapse template, so that I can see more clearly what's left?  UndercoverClassicist T·C 21:36, 17 January 2024 (UTC)
Yes, of course, that's fine. Mertbiol (talk) 21:18, 18 January 2024 (UTC)
I think the collapse template is fine. For me, there are only two outstanding issues:
Number of brothers
Reference [93a] (Andrews & Morgan 1981, p. 91)
Best wishes, Mertbiol (talk) 10:55, 20 January 2024 (UTC)
Yup - checking both of those.  UndercoverClassicist T·C 11:22, 20 January 2024 (UTC)
On the brothers: Bertram 2007a is fairly clear that he only had one brother when he was born (Old Victorian (OV) Henry Charles Amedie de la Faye Biard was born on 1st January, 1892 ... His brother, Walter Lucien, was a year younger ...), so I've added that as a multi-cite. I'm working away today but I've got Andrews and Morgan at home; I'll dig it out and check it when I'm back.  UndercoverClassicist T·C 11:29, 20 January 2024 (UTC)
Found Andrews and Morgan; I had the wrong page. Now fixed -- I think we should be good to go if you're happy?  UndercoverClassicist T·C 10:10, 21 January 2024 (UTC)


### Final verdict
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar):  b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): 

It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism): 

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 

It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 

Overall:
Pass/Fail: 

This is a very interesting and informative article. It is very well written and appears to cover all aspects of Henry Biard's life and career in depth. Congratulations to @UndercoverClassicist: for your hard work in bringing this nomination forward. It's been a pleasure to work with you on this review. I have no hesitation in promoting the article to GA status. Well done! 
You don't need me to tell you what the next steps would/could be, but I'd certainly encourage you to go for an A-Class review at WikiProject Military history, if that's something you're considering.
Good luck with your other articles and I hope our paths cross again in the future. Best wishes, Mertbiol (talk) 12:15, 21 January 2024 (UTC)