# Talk:Charles Cabaniss

The article is not very clear on this point. It states that Cabaniss  went to the engine room to give instruction to one of the ship's crew but it does not state that he returned to the deck before the shot was fired.
Considering the damage the bullet did passing through his body, was he therefore standing nearby? Because after a few ricochets the slug should have lost a lot of its kinetic energy.
And the article does not make clear if the second person to be struck by this shot was the same person Cabaniss was talking to in the engine room.
The article says the bullet hit the deck then a gun and then Cabaniss but does that make his death really unfortunate because it struck him while he was down below or back on deck? 5.81.1.102 (talk) 17:10, 5 July 2015 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Charles Cabaniss/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 08:23, 4 September 2015 (UTC)

@The Rambling Man: just wondering if you still plan to review this article. If you do, no rush, I don't exactly have a lot of on-wiki time available. If you don't, no problem. Just wanted to know. Thanks, - A Texas Historian (Impromptu collaboration?) 02:58, 25 September 2015 (UTC)

I sure do.  I'm sorry for the delay.  I'll get to it later today.  The Rambling Man (talk) 07:42, 25 September 2015 (UTC)
Obviously, today in my world means, in two days..... The Rambling Man (talk) 12:02, 27 September 2015 (UTC)
Comments

Possibly an ENGVAR thing, but why "was appointed to the United States Naval Academy" rather than "joined the USNA"?
"first-ever football team" try to avoid butting up two different links in this manner, it's mildly confusing and discouraged in the MOS.
"Cabaniss remained generally the same" reads a little odd to me, I guess you mean his academic achievements remained similar?
"tactics, naval tactics," just curious what the "tactics" meant as you go on to include "naval tactics"...
"a scoreless tie" then "for safeties on three separate" don't safeties contribute to the score?
"a rampant problem" borderline excessively strong perhaps.
" entire crew of the Swatara attended, as well as the entire crew" entire crew ... entire crew .... and what was the Flying Fish's relationship, just another ship in the Asiatic Squadron based in Kobe?
All minor issues and really just style/curiosity notes.  Good work, sorry for the delay, I'll let you have a chance to take a look through.  The Rambling Man (talk) 12:02, 27 September 2015 (UTC)
Query
What is the status of this nomination? I see that A Texas Historian made some edits to the article on September 29 that addressed at least some of the issues listed by The Rambling Man in his comments, but never posted here that any progress had been made. Is it ready for further review? Thanks. BlueMoonset (talk) 18:24, 16 October 2015 (UTC)

I would appreciate a response from the nominator.  The Rambling Man (talk) 22:42, 5 November 2015 (UTC)
Sorry, real life has left me with no time to work on wiki stuff. I believe I've addressed all of your concerns. I'll try to explain everything when I get time. - A Texas Historian (Impromptu collaboration?) 02:41, 14 November 2015 (UTC)
The Rambling Man, did you need more, or is that enough to go on for now? BlueMoonset (talk) 06:06, 25 November 2015 (UTC)