# Talk:Diana (Pop Smoke song)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Diana (Pop Smoke song)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 11:31, 24 March 2021 (UTC)

I will review this later today! --K. Peake 11:31, 24 March 2021 (UTC)


### Infobox and lead
"Diana (remix)" → "Diana (Remix)" in the infobox
Introduce who King Combs is
The song itself features background vocals from Calboy, which should be mentioned as the second sentence
The remix sentence should be moved to being next to the rest of the info about that version in the third para; it is out of place here
"A remix featuring Calboy was" → "A remix of "Diana" that features Calboy was"
"The song was written by" → "It was written by"
"Stephen Garrett, Tim Mosley." → "Stephen Garrett, and Tim Mosley."
"The track was produced by" → "The song was produced by"
"of Playa's single, "Cheers 2 U". The lyrics" → "of Playa's "Cheers 2 U", while the lyrics"
"performance but criticized King Combs" → "performance, though criticized King Combs'"
"reached number 76 on the" → "reached number 76 on the US"
"A music video for the remix of "Diana" was" → "An accompanying music video was" per the remix first sentence being moved here
"features clips Pop Smoke" → "features clips of Pop Smoke"
"and celebrating and dancing" → "while celebrating and dancing"
"near luxury cars and women walking by them." → "near luxury cars and women." to avoid being too wordy/repetitive


### Background and composition
"was a song that Pop Smoke made" → "was made by Pop Smoke" to avoid being too wordy
Pipe rough draft to Draft document
"without King Kombs on it. Pop Smoke" → "without King Combs on it; he" to avoid too short sentences
Pipe hook to Hook (music)
"in the studio all night editing" → "in the studio all night, editing" per the source; they were stated as solely editing in the night
"put a new verse on it" → "recorded a new verse for it"
"with Pop Smoke and" → "with the rapper and" to avoid overstating his stage name
 Not done It will confuse readers as Pop Smoke and King Combs are both rappers

Just change to "with him and" to avoid stating Pop Smoke's name twice in one sentence. --K. Peake 07:26, 25 March 2021 (UTC)
"talk about when" → "talked about when"
"was then going to release it." → "was deciding to release it." to be less repetitive
"but they knew that" → "but the two knew that"
Pipe ad-libs to Ad libitum


### Writing and composition
Merge with the above section as the second para, as single para sections are discouraged especially for GAs; you can moved writing/production info to the end of the first para for background and composition
"Stephen Garrett, Tim Mosley." → "Stephen Garrett, and Tim Mosley."
"was produced by" → "was solely produced by"
The above info is supposed to be moved to the first para of the new section
You did not move this, even though I specified twice during the review... --K. Peake 07:26, 25 March 2021 (UTC)
Pipe music critics to Music journalism
The opening letter of the sentence is obviously supposed to be capitalised. --K. Peake 07:26, 25 March 2021 (UTC)
"of Playa's 1998 single," → "of Playa's 1998 single" with the pipe
I don't really think "throws" is appropriate for this section; maybe try something like "takes" instead?
"mentioned Pop Smoke is" → "mentioned that the rapper is" to avoid overusing his stage name
"with Balenciaga sneakers."" → "with Balenciaga sneakers"." per MOS:QUOTE (source does not mention it as a full set of sentences), with the wikilink


### Release and reception
"M.T. Richards for Consequence of Sound" → "M.T. Richards, for Consequence of Sound,"
Swap [19] and [20] per the order of the charts listed


### Music video
#### Background and synopsis
Wikilink HipHopDX
"in Los Angeles when the day after they found out Pop Smoke" → "in Los Angeles, until they found out the day after that the latter"
"in the studio and" → "in the studio, and"
It is not sourced that they are accompanied by friends


#### Critical reception
A mention of the overview should be offered in the lead too
MOS:QUOTE issues throughout here
The "of the [song]." quote was not fixed. --K. Peake 07:26, 25 March 2021 (UTC)
"shooting the video in New York City was" → "appearing in New York City is"
"opined with the track" → "opined that with the track"


### Credits and personnel
King Kombs → King Combs, plus shouldn't he come before Calboy since these are the credits for the original not the remix?


### Charts
Good


### References
Copyvio score looks fairly good at 29.6%!
Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool
Cite Uproxx as publisher instead for ref 9
I just noticed that the above and ref 6 are duplicates, which has gotta be fixed. --K. Peake 07:26, 25 March 2021 (UTC)


### Final comments and verdict
 On hold until all of the issues are fixed; nice to see you starting to make progress in the midst of the review, however. --K. Peake 18:06, 24 March 2021 (UTC)
Kyle Peake. Thanks for the review. I have responded to all of ur concerns. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 04:39, 25 March 2021 (UTC)

The Ultimate Boss Thank you, I have gone over above where things still need addressing properly. --K. Peake 07:26, 25 March 2021 (UTC)
Kyle Peake Done. The Ultimate Boss (talk) 05:14, 26 March 2021 (UTC)
The Ultimate Boss  Pass now after you handled these and nice catch in the opening sentence! --K. Peake 06:46, 26 March 2021 (UTC)