# Talk:Louis Baillon

This review is transcluded from Talk:Louis Baillon/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Nominator: Arconning (talk · contribs) 12:38, 27 June 2025 (UTC)
Reviewer: Canary757 (talk · contribs) 14:45, 6 September 2025 (UTC)
Hi, review to come.Canary757 (talk) 14:45, 6 September 2025 (UTC)

Hi,
I think we need to expand the detail regarding his Olympics success. This is the reason why he is notable. The sources give details such as the opponents, the final opponent is especially important, the score in the final, his appearances in the event and the venue of the final (White City Stadium). This is key information.
One (One?) of those appearances were (was) at the 1908 Summer Olympics that were held in London. In the field hockey competition(,) that was (which was held from) 29 to 31 October, they had never lost a match (went unbeaten?). They (define they?) would eventually win (won, I personally would ditch 'would eventually') the gold medal in the event, making Baillon the only Falkland Islander to win (have won) a gold medal at the (an) Olympic Games as of June 2025. "They had never lost a match" Okay, are we saying that GB had never lost a match in their entire history or just went unbeaten at that Olympics?
They would eventually win the gold medal in the event. I don't see the need for eventually here, it was a short competition.
Outside of field hockey, he was a professional in other sports. In football, he was a player for Wandsworth AFC. While in lawn tennis, he was a member on Northamptonshire's team until he was 50 years old. This is questionable. I very much doubt he could have been a professional from playing county-level tennis. It says later that he was a director of a company ie his profession. I think professional should be removed from here. The fact that Wandsworth AFC doesn't appear to have a wiki page is a red flag for professional as well.
In football, isn't left back a precise description of fullback. This article presents them as different positions? Is hockey different?
After the war, he worked as a manager at Phipps NBC, the oldest brewery in the United Kingdom. Shepherd Neame Brewery. This British brewery is much older than Phipps NBC. Is the source accurate?
Statement is changed.
Though, Paul and Mark would be killed in action during the war I don't think the though is needed here. Were-instead of would be. Worth adding Battle of Britain detail?
He started field hockey as a part of Northampton's team and then earned nine caps as part of the England men's national field hockey team. As part of the team.... I would recommend some word variation here. We have as part of, as part of, as part of. Maybe, as a member of etc. Also, recommend 'started playing field hockey'.
Louis Charles Baillon's father, who was from Nottingham, emigrated to the Falkland Islands in the mid-1800s to work as a sheep farmer. His father then got married at the Islands in 1876. This can be inadvertently read as being his father's father got married due to the father being the central point of the preceding sentence, which I don't think is the intention. Anyway of finding out his fathers name?
I'll do a copyedit over the next few days. Thanks. Canary757 (talk) 15:27, 6 September 2025 (UTC)
One of those appearances were.... Source states he played in multiple matches at the games.
Thanks.Canary757 (talk) 15:47, 6 September 2025 (UTC)
eventually he was born, eventually he was baptised. No need for eventually
his four sons were tennis players. Professionally or keen hobby players? person x was a tennis player suggests it was their profession 
When was his international debut/last appearance?
Considering he competed during the 1900s it'd be safe to assume that his appearances weren't well documented.
I think the article needs a fair bit of work to meet GA criteria-namely broad in scope, grammar and the verifiabilty of some info.
Sorry if this seems a lot. Let me know your thoughts.Canary757 (talk) 07:04, 7 September 2025 (UTC)
During World War II, all of his children would serve in the military. Paul, Mark, and Louis Brabazon joined the Royal Air Force, Mark would join the Army, and Mildren Anne would join the Women's Auxiliary Air Force. Mark is mentioned twice - Army and RAF, Richard is missing entirely.
The first source says that he got married in 1910 and I think this should be included.
he was a member on Northamptonshire's team until he was 50 years old  'until' implies an end date. Source 2 says he was 'still' playing aged 50 and doesn't state that he stopped at this exact age.
Thanks, Canary757 (talk) 06:10, 8 September 2025 (UTC)
@Canary757 Would it be alright if you'd give me around a week to address these? Been quite busy irl and would love to respond at my best mood. :) Arconning (talk) 12:44, 9 September 2025 (UTC)
Hi, that's fine, no worries, take as long as you need. Canary757 (talk) 17:53, 9 September 2025 (UTC)
@Canary757 Let me know if I've missed some things, saw that you copy-edited some statements and I'm quite thankful for that. :) Arconning (talk) 14:11, 15 September 2025 (UTC)
Hi, really sorry for the late reply. I'm having a really challenging week this week and will not be able to get back to wikipedia until late next week. I've really enjoyed reading this page and look forward to going the final step to get it to GA class. Please accept my apology. Canary757 (talk) 10:01, 19 September 2025 (UTC)
Hi, I've made a few small changes to the lead. If you're okay with them I am happy to promote to GA. Thanks for your patience. Canary757 (talk) 13:56, 28 September 2025 (UTC)