# Talk:Enemies & Allies

MacLean25 I sent you two newspaper articles, hopefully they help flesh out this article. Also, I suggest a slight expansion of the lead to include summary of all sections per WP:LEAD. In that process, you should probably break up that second sentence in the lead, its really long and bulky. Also, a WP:Fair Use upload of the first edition cover would be extremely appropriate. I didn't read for grammer and style stuff, I more scanned the everything but the lead briefly. I think balance on sections seems appropriate. See if the two new sources help any, Sadads (talk) 05:13, 27 June 2011 (UTC)

Thanks. I've incorporated the new sources and implemented the suggestions. maclean (talk) 02:30, 1 July 2011 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Enemies & Allies/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: James26 (talk) 21:18, 29 July 2011 (UTC)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):  b (MoS): 
Minor: 

"alien invasions movies" — Can you make "invasions" singular (in this instance and in the later one)? Reads less awkwardly IMO.
[1]
"writing supporting novels in establish franchises" — Should be "established".
[2]
"like Star Wars and Dune." — I think "like" should be replaced with "such as", "including", or something else that sounds less casual.
[3]
"which noted flat characterization but that it may be entertaining for comic book fans." — Insert "stated" or some variant after "but".
[4] I re-worked this sentence a little.
The revision included a typo ("being be"), and was a tad awkward, so I restored the previous version, as I may have been too hard on it.
Why is Colorado mentioned? I didn't grasp the significance.
Context. Book-articles include country of origin ("United States" & "American"), but if possible I try to mention something more specific.
"His latest novels in the Dune series were. . ." — "Dune" should be italicized, as it is earlier.
[5]
"Anderson commented on the difficulty in writing comics as prose, 'in the comics. . .' " — Can you insert "stating" or some variant after "prose"?
[6]
"Year One-style Batman" — "Year One" should be in quotation marks.
[7]
Bigger:

The "Background" section could begin with another brief overview of the novel (just above "At the time of publication. . ."). The beginning reads like a continuation of the lead, rather than an introduction to the article.
[8] Is this something like what you had in mind?
The suspicion between Batman and Superman, mentioned in the lead, could be noted again (particularly on Batman's part).
[9]
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 
It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 
Overall:
Pass/Fail: 

Thanks for the review. I have included comments and links above to the fixes. maclean (talk) 03:10, 30 July 2011 (UTC)
Good job overall. -- James26 (talk) 11:04, 30 July 2011 (UTC)