# Talk:Junior Hemingway

The deletion log reads as follows: 05:14, 28 June 2010 Kubigula (talk | contribs) deleted "Junior Hemingway" ‎ (A3: Article has no meaningful, substantive content) --TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)  14:32, 3 October 2011 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Junior Hemingway/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 01:43, 11 December 2011 (UTC)
I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 01:43, 11 December 2011 (UTC)
Here are my comments:

"He surpassed the yardage total," what yardage total? if you mean the one in the previous sentence, change to "his yardage total".
O.K.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)  02:55, 11 December 2011 (UTC)
I'm a bit confused as to how he was redshirted that sophomore year when he did make a start. If it's due to the mono than make that clearer in the sentence.
I am not sure what the issue is NCAA football redshirting has something to do with how much you play. You can make a significant enough contribution to earn a varsity letter and still redshirt.  I think it is something like a 1/3 or 1/2 of the games. I hope I have resolved the issue.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)  02:47, 11 December 2011 (UTC)
"which gave the team a 28–21 lead and 42-yard reception" perhaps change to ", as well as a 42-yard reception" A couple commas could be added to that sentence as it borders on a run-on.
Commas won't help since we are dealing with a series of prepositional phrases. I split it into 2 sentences.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)  02:52, 11 December 2011 (UTC)
I'll put the article on hold and will pass when fixed. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 02:29, 11 December 2011 (UTC)

Alright, sounds good. Re-read the redshirt article and looks like I just didn't really understand the technicalities on my end. Article now passes. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 03:27, 11 December 2011 (UTC)

I could use some help finding a WP:RS to say he is the first wide receiver to lead the Big Ten in yards/reception in consecutive years since Andre Rison.--TonyTheTiger (T/C/BIO/WP:CHICAGO/WP:FOUR)  18:15, 2 April 2012 (UTC)

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