# Talk:Mako (roller coaster)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Mako (roller coaster)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 16:34, 9 September 2018 (UTC)

Adog104, I will review this article. Cheers, « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  16:34, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Copyedit
Here are some of my copyedits. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  17:01, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Lead
"Upon completion, Mako became an anchor attraction to the new park area themed to sharks in general, and is located adjacent to SeaWorld's previously existing shark attractions, such as the Shark Encounter aquarium and its attached "Sharks Underwater Grill" restaurant." - I would reword and split this sentence in two: "Upon completion, Mako became an anchor attraction to the new shark-themed park area. It is located adjacent to SeaWorld's previously existing shark attractions, such as the Shark Encounter aquarium and its attached "Sharks Underwater Grill" restaurant."
"Touted as the tallest, longest, and fastest roller coaster in the Orlando theme-park market, Mako opened on June 10, 2016 to acclaimed reviews from many guests." - I would recommend changing "acclaimed" to "positive" as a more neutral term.
Per MOS:LEADCITE, you probably don't need the citations in the lead. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  16:43, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Done Adog104 Talk to me 17:40, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
History
Even though "POV" is linked, it would probably be better to expand it during the first use so the reader doesn't have to click the link. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  17:11, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Done Adog104 Talk to me 17:40, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Ride experience
Queue area could be linked.
"Queue line" seems repetitive. I would use queue area, noted above.
"During the queue, guests of the ride take" - I would remove "of the ride"
"Mako's station is themed to a shipwreck as with being underwater." - "The theme of Mako's station is an underwater shipwreck."
What is "airtime" referring to? « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  17:01, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Done Adog104 Talk to me 17:40, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Characteristics
"The roller coaster was designed to have 9 airtime moments and a third of the layout traverses over water." - "9" should be "nine"
"Moreover, they were manufactured by Bolliger & Mabillard in Switzerland." - probably don't need "moreover" in this instance.
"Similarly the 2 acres (0.81 ha) park area around it." - "2 acres" should be "2-acre" « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  17:10, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Done Adog104 Talk to me 17:40, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Reception
"Dewayne Bevil from the Orlando Sentinel had described the ride as "breathtaking" " - you don't need "had"
"Marjie Lambert from the Miami Herald had commented that the" - you don't need "had"
In the Awards tables, I personally am not a big fan of the references right after the ranks. Maybe move them to below in the table in a new row?
Remove the link to Kraken, as it is linked earlier in the bidy of the article. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  17:13, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Done; comment. Adog104 Talk to me 17:40, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
References
Reference 35 is a dead link. Please archive.
The references that link to the Miami Herald will probbaly be dead soon. You may want to preempt and archive those as well. See here.
Where the publisher or work in a reference is linkable via a wikilink, please link it. Examples include United States Patent and Trademark Office, Orlando Sentinel, Orlando Business Journal, Miami Herald, etc.
All other references look good; they are properly formatted and cited in-line. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  17:52, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Almost done; comment. Adog104 Talk to me 20:16, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Images
File:Mako (38327155394) (cropped).jpg is properly tagged and freely license.
File:Mako (coaster) logo.png is a fair-use logo, properly tagged and used. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  16:43, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Comments
That's it for me, except the references, which I will review later. Cheers,  « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  17:01, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
First, thank you very much :D – Second the awards in the box section are common among roller coaster articles, I'm not sure if that would disrupt the flow of that (especially because the Golden Ticket Awards (GTA) box is a template). Adog104 Talk to me 17:40, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
No problem. I'm going to go through the references now. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  17:44, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
I'm all done with my review. Let me know when you have addressed everything. Nice work! « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  17:52, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Just two things before it's done. (1) Unfortunately I cannot find a archive link for R. 35 nor anything on its current website, although I could replace the review with another one from The Mirror/ Theme Park Insider without possibly detracting from the articles other positive reviews (or just omit it from the article). (2) Where articles in references can be wikilinked, should they be linked again when they have been linked once before (such as with the Miami Herald articles where there's four separate references within the article)? Again thank you! Adog104 Talk to me 20:16, 9 September 2018 (UTC)
Adog104, usually yes they all get linked because references can be viewed one at a time (such as clicking on the reference link in the article). And yes, unfortunately, I would remove or replace the reference and associated text. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  04:41, 10 September 2018 (UTC)
Gonzo fan2007; All good, added another source for simplicity and its quite enjoying adding links. All done! Adog104 Talk to me 05:08, 10 September 2018 (UTC)
Nice work! Everything looks good now. Passed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @  13:55, 10 September 2018 (UTC)