# Talk:Cho Ren Sha 68K

This review is transcluded from Talk:Cho Ren Sha 68K/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Nominator: KGRAMR (talk · contribs) 23:25, 15 June 2025 (UTC)
Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 20:59, 22 June 2025 (UTC)

Will review soon. Jaguar (talk) 20:59, 22 June 2025 (UTC)

Lead
"The game was first released for the X68000 in 1997 at the 53rd Comic Market (Comiket)" - this reads odd, it was revealed at the convention rather than 'released' and solely distributed there?
Actually, it is further explain in the release section but i can explain it to you here: the game was first released in 1994 as a sampler under a different name. It was not until the 53 Comiket that the full version of the game was released. Sources online list the game with a 1995 release date but i wanted to explain that the game as we know it was not released until 1997. Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:47, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
"becoming an integral part of the game's scoring system, which he regretted adding but left as is." - this seems out of place in the lead. His lamentation on adding a particular game mechanic should be confined to the development section in my opinion
 Done -- Removed the line in question. Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:47, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
"Some publications criticized its short length and repetitive background visual" - plural? Or does the game feature only one background?
The original 1997 X68000 release and version 1.01 for Windows only had one graphic background. That's why the line in question lacks a plural. It was not until version 1.10 in 2023 that the game now features multiple background graphics. Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:47, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
Body
"He stated that the game was influenced by various shooters" - per WP:SAID, I find the use of 'stated' to be somewhat awkward in certain instances. I would replace this with recalled
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:51, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
"...more damage up close through various mechanics," - link game mechanics
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:50, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
"who was looking for a composer during the Pasoket[f] in Osaka" - what is this? I know it's noted, but it doesn't shed much light for non-Japanese speakers
 Done -- I have now explained what Pasoket was for the readers. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:09, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
"under the name Sekizui Hansha de Acchoo[g], in Yoshida's circle "Cho Ren Sha 68K"" - what is Yoshida's circle referring to?
 Done -- I have linked the term circle but basically, every person or group with a stand at Comiket selling mechandise are referred as circles. The catalogues produced by Comiket referred them as such. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:13, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
"Windows Forest's Masaho Saitō said that finding a strategy to achieve a high score was fun" - reads awkwardly, try Windows Forest's Masaho Saitō praised the gameplay, feeling that finding a strategy to achieve a high score was "fun"
 Done -- Roberth Martinez (talk) 22:49, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
Over this article is quite solid, quite close to meeting the GA criteria as it is. It is compact, well-written, and the sources are of high quality. Once the above are clarified, I'll be happy to promote.  Jaguar (talk) 21:13, 22 June 2025 (UTC)

@Jaguar:First pass done! Let me know if there are any lingering details to be ironed out. Roberth Martinez (talk) 23:13, 22 June 2025 (UTC)
Should be all good, thank you. Happy to say this meets the criteria.  Jaguar (talk) 08:48, 23 June 2025 (UTC)