# Talk:Ali of the Eretnids

This review is transcluded from Talk:Ali of Eretna/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Ealdgyth (talk · contribs) 15:26, 9 March 2024 (UTC)
I'll get to this shortly. Ealdgyth (talk) 15:26, 9 March 2024 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar):  b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): 

It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section):  b (inline citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism): 

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 

It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 

Overall:
Pass/Fail: 

I randomly googled three phrases and only turned up Wikipedia mirrors. Earwig's tool shows no sign of copyright violation.
Spotchecks:
"Khuvand Islamshah Khatun was either the mother or consort of Ali." is sourced to this source p. 137 which supports the information
"The possibility that she was Ali's consort is supported by a reference to him as the person of the highest authority" is sourced to the same source p. 137 which supports the information
"In 1343, he declared independence as the sultan of his domains" is sourced to this source which supports the information
Lead:
"Kadi Burhan al-Din rose to power as the new vizier and further dispatched Ali to lead several campaigns." I don't think "further" helps here - suggest removing it.
 Done
Background:
"Upon the dissolution of the Ilkhanate" link/explanation for Ilkhanate?
 Done
Life:
"Kadi Burhan al-Din later dispatched Ali to lead several campaigns" military campaigns? If so, suggest clarifying.
Added "military".
"Ali took advantage of the death of Pir Husayn Beg, the Emir of Erzincan, through a campaign to retake the city, which was also unsuccessful" do we mean "Ali took advantage of the death of Pir Husayn Beg, the Emir of Erzincan, and launched a campaign to retake the city, which was also unsuccessful."?
Yep.
Family:
"The state came under the control of a regent because of his young age" suggest "The state came under the control of a regent because of the heir's youth."
 Done
"Emirs including Shadgeldi and Kadi Burhan al-Din clashed for this position" "this position" is the regent? Suggest clarifying.
 Done
"14–15th-century historians Ibn Khaldun and Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani wrote that Kadi Burhan" we don't start sentences with numerals - suggest "Historians in the 14–15th-century such as Ibn Khaldun and Ibn Hajar al-Asqalani wrote that Kadi Burhan"
 Done
"There, she was described as" "there" means "In the Tavarikh"?
Yes. Added the name of the work for clarity.
I did some copyediting, please check that I didn't inadvertently change meaning or break anything.
I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth (talk) 15:41, 11 March 2024 (UTC)
@Ealdgyth:, I believe I have addressed all your points for the moment. Let me know if there are any issues. Aintabli (talk) 22:27, 11 March 2024 (UTC)
Changes look good, passing this now. Ealdgyth (talk) 14:08, 12 March 2024 (UTC)