# Talk:Bomba Patch

This review is transcluded from Talk:Bomba Patch/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 18:25, 28 October 2023 (UTC)

Comments to follow soon. ♦ jaguar 18:25, 28 October 2023 (UTC)

"Eventually, the mod became nationally known" - perhaps this reads better as The mod became popular nationwide.
Fixed Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
" He stopped working on Bomba Patch" - Jefferson
Fixed Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
"and Jefferson created social media for it" - reads sloppy, he created social media accounts?
Yes; fixed Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
"Several publications recognize Bomba Patch's impact and legacy in Brazil." - can this be expanded? What did people enjoy about the mods?
It's in the impact and legacy section. The sources praised the game for many different aspects, so I'm not sure how to summarize it without it being too long. Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
Added Skyshifter talk 21:12, 30 October 2023 (UTC)
"for PlayStation," - missing 'the'
Fixed Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
"using mod "Brazucas"" - again, missing 'the'
Fixed Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
"He initially changed the foreign teams for Brazilian ones" - replaced the foreign teams with Brazilian ones
Fixed Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
"However, the uniform and shield were still the same" - should this not be 'emblem'? And I'd rephrase to However, the team's uniforms and emblems were left unaltered
Fixed and rephrased Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
"He then edited in clubs from the Campeonato Brasileiro Série A and Série B." - overuse of 'he', replace with his surname
Fixed Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
"Jefferson reports that even in the second championship, " - wrong tense
Fixed Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
"Jefferson also allowed participants in the championship to take the mod home" - you mean he gave away the mod's source code?
In the PS2 era this mod was usually sold as physical discs. The source also implies that (translated: One of these participants took a copy of Bomba Patch to a store in the city and exchanged it for another game). Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
" One of them, however, took a copy of the mod to a store in the city, one of whose shopkeepers was in business with a large street market in another city" - this reads poorly and needs to be rephrased
I'm really bad with prose, but I tried to make it better. Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
"While its main platform is still PlayStation 2" - missing 'the'
Fixed Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
There are a few prose issues, but I'll leave this on hold and will review it again once all of the above have been clarified.  ♦ jaguar 19:45, 28 October 2023 (UTC)

@Jaguar: thank you for reviewing the article! I've responded to everything so far. Indeed I am not very good with prose, but hopefully everything can be sorted out by the end of the review. I can also help clarify some Portuguese sources if needed. Skyshifter talk 00:47, 29 October 2023 (UTC)
Thank you, Skyshifter. I made a couple of copyedits but this looks good to go now. Well done!  ♦ jaguar 23:02, 30 October 2023 (UTC)