# Talk:1904 Atlantic hurricane season

This review is transcluded from Talk:1904 Atlantic hurricane season/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 18:58, 25 August 2016 (UTC)

"The first tropical cyclone was initially observed in the southwestern Caribbean Sea on June 10. However, after dissipating on June 14, the next tropical cyclone " - could use better flow --> "After the first storm dissipated on June 14, the next tropical cyclone..."
Fixed--12george1 (talk) 23:48, 27 August 2016 (UTC)
"These dates fall within the period with the most tropical cyclone activity in the Atlantic." - since there's no source for that, and not storms in general, I don't think this sentence adds much
Done--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
"Six of the two tropical cyclones existed simultaneously." - reverse?
Did I tell you that I failed statistics? :P --12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
"None of them deepened further into a major hurricane, which is a tropical cyclone that reach at least Category 3 on the modern day Saffir–Simpson hurricane wind scale." - grammar is weird
Better?--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
"The Atlantic hurricane reanalysis project also indicated but could not confirm the presence of four additional tropical depressions throughout the season. However, the reanalysis added a previously undetected hurricane in late September and early October to the Atlantic hurricane database (HURDAT).[1]" - is this reference for both pieces of info? Since the TD's are in the lead, you should include them somewhere, such as their dates and locations, even if it is just a sentence or two for each
What do you want? An "Other storms" section with the possible TDs?--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
"about 65 miles (105 km) east-southeast of Isla de Providencia in the Colombian department of the Archipelago of San Andrés, Providencia and Santa Catalina. " - don't be so technical about this location, since it doesn't matter really (and it probably had a different name in 1904). Simplify please to just the distance from one (short) location name
Fixed--12george1 (talk) 23:48, 27 August 2016 (UTC)
Was H1 in June or July? You keep going back and forth between the months
Junely :P --12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
"Subsequent flooding resulted in the inundation of a number of roads and several bridges washing away, isolating some areas." - get rid of the "resulted in" and make it more active voice. That makes for stronger sentence structure and more interesting prose
Fixed--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
"The remnants briefly restrengthened into a powerful extratropical cyclone" - how strong? The extratropical impacts were just as important as the tropical ones
Fixed--12george1 (talk) 23:48, 27 August 2016 (UTC)
"A tornado destroyed about 20 homes" - maybe add "A tornado spawned by the storm"?
Done--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
" ginneries" - link/explanation? If this is what I think it is, maybe say "gin production facilities"
There's no article. Link to Wiktionary?--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
[1] - check page 222/280. There is more info on H2. You could merge some of the tornado info and the coastal impacts in favor of some of the info from that link. Instead of going so location-based, you should lump together similar types of impacts. For example, you mention street flooding in Philadelphia and New York, so you could be more general, just saying heavy rainfall (and including the peak from that PDF). Perhaps even have one of the paragraphs be more met-based (rainfall and wind reports). Your call, and it's not 100% necessary, just that I think the section could be stronger, and H2 was the most notable storm of the season.
I merged the tornado and street flooding stuff. Tbh I kinda want to keep in location-based, but I merged another thing together (New York and Boston harbor ship wrecks). Hopefully it's a good enough compromise. CB was wanting to make an article for that storm, but stopped in June for some reason.--12george1 (talk) 02:14, 28 August 2016 (UTC)
H3 mentions info that couldn't possibly be in the best track, so make sure you add the meta data where you got the info from
Fixed--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
"This storm" - poor way to start a new section. You shouldn't be self-referential when introducing a new storm
Better?--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
"Around 08:00 UTC on October 17, the cyclone struck Key Largo, Florida, at the same intensity." - since this is a new paragraph, perhaps say "while still at peak intensity"
Done--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
"The storm then drifted slowly northwestward across South Florida." - you should mention the loop here
Fixed--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
" By 18:00 UTC, the cyclone dissipated about 90 mi (140 km) northeast of Marsh Harbour, Bahamas" - such a specific location doesn't make sense when referring to dissipation, since the circulation ceased to exist before it reached 90 mi NE of that place. You can be more generic sometimes
Better?--12george1 (talk) 23:48, 27 August 2016 (UTC)
leaving "significant" damage due to flooding - is this a quote? You should say "leaving significant flooding damage". It's not that specific of a word that you need to quote it
"significant damage" would be right.--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
"A few local hotels were structurally impacted, such as the Biscayne Hotel, the New Hayelon Hotel, and the Royal Palm Hotel" - what is the importance of these three hotels, and what does it mean for them to be "structurally impacted"?
I was looking for a synonym for damaged, is that ok?--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
"Offshore Florida, three sailing vessels were wrecked in the storm, the British Melrose, German Zion and the American James Judge." - comma is inappropriate here. Try endash –
Fixed--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
"Data from ships on October 19 indicate" - present or past tense?
Fixed--12george1 (talk) 18:39, 26 August 2016 (UTC)
Any impacts from the final storm?
The strongest wind speeds recorded were both 36 mph in Pensacola and New Orleans. It also weakened to a tropical depression shortly after moving inland. I think it's safe to say that the impact was pretty much limited to rainfall and relatively strong winds at best. I found this storm with that report you linked to earlier and it looks like there probably wouldn't have been much, if anything, in the way of flooding--12george1 (talk) 02:14, 28 August 2016 (UTC)
It may look like a lot of things in the GA review to do, but these are all fairly minor, and shouldn't take too much time. Good work on the article so far, and I expect this to be a Good article in short time! :) ♫ Hurricanehink (talk)  18:58, 25 August 2016 (UTC)