# Talk:Aubrey Dawkins

This review is transcluded from Talk:Aubrey Dawkins/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Editorofthewiki (talk · contribs) 21:23, 21 July 2015 (UTC)

I will be reviewing this article. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 21:23, 21 July 2015 (UTC)

Lead
The lead is a little short.
Expanded.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 04:44, 5 August 2015 (UTC)
Early life
"Dawkins spent much of his life in North Carolina while his father spent 11 years on Mike Krzyzewski's coaching staff at Duke." -- This is redundant, needs to be rephrased. Also, unclear which Dawkins is being referred to.
Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:47, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
"Dawkins began as a freshman at St. Francis High School of Mountain View, California in 2009." -- This just doesn't sound right.
Fixed.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:23, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
"As a senior, he stood at 6 feet 5 inches (1.96 m),[1] but by January of his senior season he reported no scholarship offers." -- This is not unusual, there are plenty of 6'5 players who received no scholarship offers.
I believe that most players who make an impact in Big Ten Conference basketball had plenty of offers by the time the calendar turns during their senior year in high school. The following are the Michigan players of the John Beilein era whose articles I have created: Manny Harris, DeShawn Sims, Darius Morris, Tim Hardaway Jr., Mitch McGary, Trey Burke, Glenn Robinson III, Nik Stauskas, Zak Irvin, Derrick Walton, Kameron Chatman, Caris LeVert. All except for Walton are 6'5 and I bet that each of them had scholarship offers by January of their senior seasons. Are you saying you want more in the first half of the sentence like "As a senior, he stood at 6 feet 5 inches (1.96 m) and had excelled in such and such a way"?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:22, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
P.S. Admittedly, Zack Novak, Stu Douglass, Spike Albrecht and Jordan Morgan may or may not have had January scholarship offers, but they did not make my cutoff for article creation.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:33, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
My point was that many people who are 6'5 do NOT get scholarship offers for basketball, as the article seemed to imply. It is unususal for a player of Dawkins caliber though. Anyway I have rephrased it. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 13:37, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
"That year he was on the 2013 All-San Jose Mercury News boys basketball first team along with Aaron Gordon." -- I take it there were other players on the team.
Your point is lost on me in terms of editorial guidance.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:46, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
In other words, why is Gordon mentioned here? Isnt it sufficient to say he was on the team? ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 13:37, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
This contextualizes Dawkins era as being in the same era as when future NBA player Gordon starred in the region.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:47, 28 July 2015 (UTC)
OK. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 23:05, 28 July 2015 (UTC)
"His grades were not sufficient to pursue a scholarship at Stanford and despite his relationship with Chris Collins, Northwestern was not interested in Dawkins given their commitments from wings Vic Law and Scottie Lindsey." -- I take it they were out of scholarships to give otherwise they would have offered one to Dawkins.
Not interested means not willing to extend a scholarship offer. It does not mean that they were entirely out of them. It means that scholarships were scarce enough not to be used on another wing (although possibly entirely depleted as you suggest).--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:42, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
"If Michigan had not stepped in, it appeared that he would have committed to Dayton," -- This sounds speculative, perhaps you could just say he was also considering Dayton.
I have rephrased.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:54, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
"In fact, during the 2014 NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament, Dawkins attended the Sweet 16 round to watch his father's Stanford Cardinal play Dayton in the South Regional on March 27." -- This does not seem important.
Dayton was the school he was considering and was opposing the school coached by his father. I think the point is that he was considering Dayton seriously enough to travel to watch them in the NCAAA tournament, which is important, IMO. The fact that his father was coaching in the game is sort of incidental, but not enough so for it to be removed, IMO. Please advise further.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:39, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
Or he was just going to a game his dad coached. Either way this does not seem to be an important facet of his life story. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 13:37, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
College visits are a significant part of the college selection process. In this case we have a very special college visit that involves both the school he was considering and the opposing coach being his own father. I have never even been questioned on including college visits of guys who fathers were not coaching in the game (E.g., Glenn Robinson III, Nik Stauskas, etc.).--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:53, 28 July 2015 (UTC)
Yes, but will anyone really care years from now. I have been WP:BOLD and removed the sentence. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 23:05, 28 July 2015 (UTC)
Honestly, I disagree. I think it is important to note. It is not like the section is overly long.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:47, 28 July 2015 (UTC)
Do you have any high school stats?
See Wikipedia_talk:WikiProject_National_Basketball_Association#Tables_for_high_schools_stats_in_bios.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 04:05, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
I wasnt looking for a table, I was just wondering how many points and rebounds per game he averaged as a senior in high school. Most basketball biography GAs mention this. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 13:37, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
Do you want his true senior season or his post graduate season?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:40, 28 July 2015 (UTC)
Do you have the stats for both? ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 00:06, 29 July 2015 (UTC)
Both added.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:39, 5 August 2015 (UTC)
College
"Michigan won its Big Ten Conference home opener against Illinois in overtime on December 30, 2014 on the day it announced Jim Harbaugh would become the new Michigan Wolverines football head coach." -- Is it really important to mention the football coach?
"On January 17 Michigan defeated Northwestern,[16] but lost Caris LeVert for the season." -- I think is should be mentioned that LeVert was the leading scorer.
Done.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 04:14, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
"Dawkins finished the regular season of his freshman year with an excellent week." -- Not encyclopedic.
O.K.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 04:16, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
"The 31 points was the most by a Michigan freshman since Trey Burke posted 32 against Minnesota on March 9, 2012 in the 2012 Big Ten Conference Men's Basketball Tournament and included eight three-point field goals (on 11 attempts), the second most ever by a Wolverine, the most by a Wolverine since Glen Rice posted 8 on March 23, 1989, vs. North Carolina in the 1989 NCAA Men's Division I Basketball Tournament and the most by a Big Ten player during the 2014–15 NCAA Division I men's basketball season, earning Dawkins the final Big Ten Freshman of the Week honor for the 2014–15 Big Ten Conference men's basketball season." -- This sentence is WAYY too long
Split.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:44, 28 July 2015 (UTC)
Do you have college stats?
Stats added.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 03:32, 5 August 2015 (UTC)
This and This may be useful.
The second one is already the source for 6 WP:ICs in the article.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 04:22, 22 July 2015 (UTC)
I have referenced the first.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 00:02, 29 July 2015 (UTC)
Personal
"He is the son of former Duke Naismith College Player of the Year, National Basketball Association point guard and Stanford head coach Johnny Dawkins." -- This was already mentioned.
Where?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:49, 28 July 2015 (UTC)
On hold for 7 days. ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 22:04, 21 July 2015 (UTC)
Okay, I'm feeling comfortable enough passing this one. The article still has issues, but I believe it meets the GA criteria. Cheers! ~EDDY (talk/contribs)~ 15:57, 5 August 2015 (UTC)