# Talk:Bill Cunningham (rugby union, born 1874)

This is not the formal GA review, hence I post some comments here on the talk page. I don't think the article is quite there yet, and it fails two of the six GA criteria. Firstly, the article contains information in the lead that is not in the body (a minor issue), and secondly, the article isn't broad in its coverage. The latter one is the point that needs a lot more work, as the article doesn't look too much of issues outside of his rugby union career. Typical bio details that should also be there include (they may not all be available):

born where and when (only mentioned in lead; missing from body)
parents, their background, siblings, notable relatives (if any)
iwi (I note that he represented the Māori All Blacks)
education (which schools; left school when)
marriage / relationships; children
I appreciate that there might be a bit of work in this; hope the feedback is appreciated. Beyond GA feedback, the article name isn't quite right in my opinion. A disambiguator for a person should usually be "a noun indicating what the person is noted for being in his or her own right". Well, he wasn't a "rugby union", he was a "rugby union player". Schwede66 18:48, 20 September 2015 (UTC)

Excellent additions, Paora. That's just what this article really needed to be broad enough in its coverage for a GA. Schwede66 02:11, 20 January 2016 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Bill Cunningham (rugby union)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 16:16, 18 January 2016 (UTC)

I'll give this a review shortly. Wizardman 16:16, 18 January 2016 (UTC)
Here are the issues I found:

" but did not play in the loss to Wales due to injury; the All Blacks' only defeat on tour." should be comma instead of semicolon
Anything about his early life, family, pre-Auckland career? Even just a little bit of into would make the article that much more well-rounded, though if that info doesn't exist then nothing can be done there.
"and the touring New South Wales team that was touring New Zealand at the time." I'd just keep the second 'touring' to avoid redundancy
The infobox notes him being part of the national team 01-08, but the body seems to clearly go the other way, noting his displacement form the national team more than once. Am I missing something?
"aboard the Rimutaka the and during" rm second the
"With Auckland he continued to play for them up until 1913" odd as worded; maybe "He continued to play for Auckland until 1913."
"and had "remarkably agile" according to writer" and was
"Outside of rugby he spent his early working-life as an axeman,[1] also worked sometime as a miner,[42] and then for the Auckland Harbour Board." I'd just take the extra filler words out, and do something like '...early-working life as an axeman, a miner, and working for the Auckland Harbour Board.[1][2]'
I won't hold up GA status for this since the prose is solid enough sans the above, but I would suggest sending this to WP:GOCE for another once-over.
I'll put this on hold. Once the issues are fixed I'll give it a second look and either pass it or note any other issues. Wizardman 23:54, 18 January 2016 (UTC)

I just noticed the writer hasn't edited in a while. Thankfully we have someone chiming in and making the fixes, so I'll take a look over them tomorrow. Wizardman 03:20, 23 January 2016 (UTC)
Took a second read through and it is a lot better now, especially with the early life additions rounding out everything. As a result I'll pass the article. Wizardman 01:33, 24 January 2016 (UTC)

Personally I wouldn't use BDM in an article at all - it's a good tool for finding information but I'd consider it original research.
The instructions given in the notes also don't bring up any results - maybe because as written they search for family name and given names in the wrong fields, and for the wrong date. I indulged in a few minutes' quick 'original research' of my own to find out the following:
Birth registration 1907/8832, Cunningham, William Henry, mother Ethel Minnie, father William.
Death registration 1907/7315, Cunningham, William Henry, 1D.
Narrowing down date ranges until they are a single day gets me 10th December 1907 as the date of birth and 11th December 1907 as the date of death. Hopefully this may be of some use for future editors. Daveosaurus (talk) 04:57, 19 March 2017 (UTC)
@Paora, Schwede66,  and Wizardman: Thank you both for your help with the article. Apologies to both of you and also to Wizardman; GA nominees can sit around for a while and I needed to take an extended break from editing for personal reasons. I never intended to abandon the article the way I did. I do have a couple of questions though. The addition of more personal information on Cunningham is great, but I'm not so sure that Births Deaths and Marriages or the wordpress article [1] are acceptable as sources? The former may be too WP:PRIMARY and the second looks self-published. Thoughts? -- Shudde talk 15:05, 17 April 2016 (UTC)
No trouble if you need to take a break; hope all is ok. Personally, I try and avoid using bdmhistoricalrecords directly, but it's often the way to find an announcement in a newspaper on paperspast, as it's easy to look once you have the date. Primary sources can be ok when you read up on policy, and material published by the Department of Internal Affairs is clearly on the the right side of the equation. So I don't think that anybody should have any concerns about the bdmhistoricalrecords material. Schwede66 18:52, 17 April 2016 (UTC)

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