# Talk:Bankers' Toadies incident

This review is transcluded from Talk:Bankers' Toadies incident/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Ealdgyth - Talk 15:36, 7 December 2009 (UTC)
I'll be reviewing this article shortly. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:36, 7 December 2009 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):  b (MoS): 

It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 

It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 

Overall:
Pass/Fail: 

Specific concerns

General:
Lead:
Seems a bit skimpy to me, can it be fleshed out a bit? A bit more from the background section might be helpful.
Expanded.
"Former charge"? Suggest "first charge"
Done.
Background:
Shouldn't there be a redlink for Social Credit Board? ANd a link to "People's League"?
Did one better and created bluelinks to both (and Social Credit Board's now a GA nominee itself, so if you're looking for something else to review...)
Leaflet:
Link Attorney-General of Alberta?
Here, I don't think so.  Canadian cabinet level positions are much less formally defined than their American counterparts, and every Premier appoints a different collection of ministers.  Because of this, I don't think I could find sources dealing specifically with "Attorney-General of Alberta", since the position has no fixed meaning, responsibilities, etc. but is defined by what any given Premier wants it to be.
Aftermath:
"Other Social Crediters drove in a caravan to the Fort Saskatchewan Penitentiary, where the men were being held, every night to show their support." It's a bit awkward, suggest "Other Social Crediters drove in a caravan every night in a show of support to the Fort Saskatchewan Penitentiary, where the men were being held."
I'm concerned that your wording suggests that they're showing support for the penitentiary.  I've tried something else - see what you think.
That works. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:10, 8 December 2009 (UTC)
"He remains most remembered for his involvement in the Bankers' Toadies incident." Coming RIGHT after the "death mention" I was a bit confused at first as I thought it'd be saying where his corpse was buried. Maybe reword a bit?
I've tried something with it; see what you think.
Works well.. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:10, 8 December 2009 (UTC)
Images:
You may have problems at FAC with File:David Milwyn Duggan.JPG, as it lacks author and date information.
Taken care of.
Just a few little quibbles before I'm ready to promote, mainly linking and prose.
I've put the article on hold for seven days to allow folks to address the issues I've brought up. Feel free to contact me on my talk page, or here with any concerns, and let me know one of those places when the issues have been addressed. If I may suggest that you strike out, check mark, or otherwise mark the items I've detailed, that will make it possible for me to see what's been addressed, and you can keep track of what's been done and what still needs to be worked on. Ealdgyth - Talk 15:57, 7 December 2009 (UTC)
I believe I've addressed all of the above points; thank you for your review. Steve Smith (talk) 08:57, 10 December 2009 (UTC)