# Talk:Bitches brauchen Rap

This review is transcluded from Talk:Bitches brauchen Rap/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Sebbirrrr (talk · contribs) 07:27, 1 June 2022 (UTC)

Hi there. I'll be reviewing this article as part of the current backlog drive.


### Infobox and lead
Add alt text for the cover art
Ghana Beats should go after Geenaro
"also referred to as simply BBR" → "also abbreviated as BBR"
"a delay of the record's original release date" → "a delay of the record"
"old-school rap* → link all three words to Old-school hip hop
"Commercially, the album was successful, reaching..." → "The album was commercially successful, reaching..."
"on the German singles chart; "Ich darf das" was certified gold by the country's Bundesverband Musikindustrie (BVMI)." → "on the German singles chart, while "Ich darf das" was certified gold by the Bundesverband Musikindustrie (BVMI)."


### Background and creation
"which among others" → what does this refer to?
Wasn't needed to begin with
"became the first number-one by a German female rapper on the German albums chart" → "became the first album by a German female rapper to top the German albums chart"
"a circa 12-track project that was intended to be the follow-up to Supersize" → "a project that included around 12 tracks which was intended to be the follow-up to Supersize"
"already been released[6])," → move the ref after the comma
"began work" → "began working"
"and Bozza, Geenaro, Shindy and Kitty Kat also contributed on selected tracks." → "while Bozza, Geenaro, Shindy and Kitty Kat also contributed on selected tracks."
"developing ideas and demos which she then brought" → for clarification purposes, what ideas did she bring to the studio?
Just general ones like ideas for a melody, for a line etc. I think this is clear to the reader.
"(pictured in 2013)" → for consistency, I recommend removing the year as it's the only image which has the year included
"one of the main collaborators" → "was one of the main collaborators"


### Title and release
The refs don't show the release date for the box sets
The lower amount of money should come first
"and CD of the album; one box" → start a new sentence instead of using a comma splice
"German singles chart.[11][25][26][27]" → spread the references throughout the sentences per WP:CITEKILL
"and described as" → is this about the cover or David?
About the way she looks on the cover; reworded in hopes that it sounds better now.


### Music and lyrics
"old-school rap* → link all three words to Old-school hip hop
"as well as touches on politics" → "as well as politics"
"and pun usage.[4][5][14][34]" → WP:CITEKILL
"her real name" → "her full name"
"as a Barbie doll" → "as a Barbie (logo pictured) doll"


### Songs
Link the singles to their German wikipedia pages for consistency
"in the society" → "in society"
"listlessness" could be replaced with a more common word
Could you name one?
@Cartoon network freak: does indifference sound good to you?
"with David's sister Patricia" → you've already mentioned her sister's name so it doesn't seem worth mentioning anymore
"Leier Mirco" → "Mirco Leier"
"including to reject several feature offers" → "such as rejecting several feature offers"
"allegedly received" ref 37 claims that David confirmed receiving them
Fair enough. I reworded.
"The song features Shindy" → link Shindy
"for David; observers regard it" → "for David, with observers regarding it"
"and the song was inspired" → "which was inspired"
Not doing this because this could be misleading to the reader; not her singing but the song was inspired by that thing.
@Cartoon network freak: it reads a bit awkward, if "David predominantly sings on" isn't relevant I suggest removing it instead
"featuring Kitty Kat" → link Kitty Kat
"as part of the group Aggro Berlin" → Aggro Berlin is a record label though
It is both the label and the group (even though the article isn't that cleaned up, I have to admit).
"her male physical education teacher.[2][8][14][31]" → de-link physican education and WP:CITEKILL
"and the feud with Shindy.[2][5][28][45]" → WP:CITEKILL


### Critical reception
Since this article uses British English, "criticize" and its derivations should be spelled as "criticise"
"as well as hailed it" → "further hailing it"
"a place for female artists.[2][4][5][8][30][46]" → WP:CITEKILL
"as well as commended" → "also commending"
"Schmid critiqued" → "Schmid was critical"
Is the album's name Das schwarze Album (The Black Album), or is "The Black Album" the English translation?
The first option.
"was not fitting" → "did not fit"
"all the genres it explored" → is "it" the album or the voice?
The album.
Add a period instead of a comma splice after "explored" to start a new sentence


### Singles and commercial performance
Add a period instead of a comma splice after "December 2020" to start a new sentence
The ref for the Swiss positions doesn't show that the singles peaked within the top 20
Fixed.
"the premiere of the album" → "the album's premiere"
"On the weekend" → "In the weekend"
"amassed 11.4 million streams (over 110 million if combined with all the previously released singles)" → "amassed 11.4 million streams (over 110 million if combined with all the previously released singles) on Spotify"
"album worldwide on Spotify" → "album worldwide on the platform"
"industry professionals had previously opined" → the source does not state that industry professionals opined this though
Fixed.
"David also charted at numbers three and four" → "The album also charted at numbers three and four"


### Track listing
The wiki link on Laas Unltd. doesn't work


### Charts
De-link GfK Entertainment charts for German Hip Hop Albums


### Release history
The refs don't show the release date for the box sets


### References
Copyvio score at 4.8%
Refs 2 and 46 should use the paramaters author1 and author2
Refs 4 and 34 should be tagged with url-access=subscription
For refs 7, 10, 52 and 63, YouTube should be listed under the via parameter
For ref 36, change 20 minutes (Switzerland) to 20 minutes


### Outcome
 On hold for 7 days until all issues are fixed! Sebbirrrr (talk) 10:07, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
@Sebbirrrr: Thank you so much for your review! Cartoon network freak (talk) 19:57, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
@Sebbirrrr:  Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:47, 1 June 2022 (UTC)
@Cartoon network freak thanks! Everything is good now so I'm  passing Sebbirrrr (talk) 20:55, 1 June 2022 (UTC)