# Talk:Bolckow, Vaughan

This review is transcluded from Talk:Bolckow Vaughan/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Adam Cuerden (talk · contribs) 21:10, 23 June 2013 (UTC)
The major issue with this article is that the images are mislicenced for English Wikipedia: For here, the only relevant copyright law is U.S., so anything before 1923 can be licensed under Template:PD-US-1923-abroad. I'll start working on that.
The text and referencing looks good other than that, so it shouldn't be too difficult to get this to GA. I'll do a full review shortly. Adam Cuerden (talk) 21:10, 23 June 2013 (UTC)

Many thanks for taking this on. Chiswick Chap (talk) 07:00, 24 June 2013 (UTC)
Right. Sorry for the delay. Adam Cuerden (talk) 14:03, 27 June 2013 (UTC)
Well. This is a by-and-largecomprehensive, well-written article. It has a few flaws, but nothing that blocks GA (though these may be an issue at FA).

The line "In 1850, Vaughan and his mining geologist John Marley discovered iron ore, conveniently situated near Eston in the Cleveland Hills of Yorkshire.[4] Cleveland ironstone was already being mined, but further away at Grosmont, by Losh, Wilson and Bell.[5]" could use a little more precision. I believe the meaning of the second sentence should be something like "Unknown to anyone at the time, this vein was part of the Cleveland Ironstone Formation, which was already being mined in Grosmont by Losh, Wilson and Bell."
Done
A little more flow might be good. For instance, the next sentence after the aforementioned is "In 1851, Bolckow and Vaughan built a blast furnace at South Bank, Middlesbrough, to make use of the ore from nearby Eston." Using something that refers back, such as "To make use of the ore being[?] mined at Eston, in 1851 Bolcow and Vaughan built a blast furnace at nearby South bank, Middlesbrough." would improve flow. Similarly, by phrasing "At that time the company's assets included..." as "By that time, the company's assets included..." you keep referring back, improving flow.
Done
"On 2 June 1884, Sir Joseph Pease unveiled a monument to John Vaughan in Exchange Square, Middlesbrough, which still stands." - that would be worth getting a picture of, if a Wikipedian in Middlesbrough could. The Yorkshire Wikiproject can likely help with this. Adam Cuerden (talk) 21:41, 10 July 2013 (UTC)
Added
The section "Collapse, 1929" begins rather abruptly, coming straight out of a description of the company's rise.
Added sentence about suddenness
The website "Hidden Teeside" isn't obviously a good source, though it's probably good enough for an otherwise uncontroversial point of fact.
Agreed
The main link for Pitts is a deadlink, though the alternate link still works. It would be worth updating.
Done
The legacy section seems a little random - discussing the graves falling into disrepair then being refurbished needs a bit more detail.
Added clause about recognizing the neglect
So, some things that could be improved, but I think this is a solid GA, just needs some work for FA. Adam Cuerden (talk) 21:40, 10 July 2013 (UTC)

Thank you! Chiswick Chap (talk) 07:51, 11 July 2013 (UTC)

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