# Talk:Abbasqoli Khan Mo'tamed od-Dowleh Javanshir

This review is transcluded from Talk:Abbasqoli Khan Mo'tamed od-Dowleh Javanshir/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Nominator: HistoryofIran (talk · contribs) 03:01, 14 November 2024 (UTC)
Reviewer: Jon698 (talk · contribs) 21:22, 5 June 2025 (UTC)
@HistoryofIran: Will conduct a review in due time Jon698 (talk) 21:22, 5 June 2025 (UTC)

@HistoryofIran: Here are some comments I have so far.
1. Per infobox rules, relatives should only be in the infobox if they are notable. Were any of his brothers, besides Mohammad Ebrahim Khan Javanshir, notable enough to warrant a future Wikipedia page? If not then they should be removed.
2. The "Background" section should be renamed to "Early life"
3. Please rephrase "And Mohammad Taqi Khan Javanshir, who died in 1851." so that it does not start with and.
4. I will make some copyedits to the paragraph structures as I feel like they are off in their current form.
5. I will be rewriting the lede and submitting that for your approval.
6. I am interested in knowing if you have access to the Wikipedia Library. Jon698 (talk) 23:57, 5 June 2025 (UTC)
Here is the version of the lede that I made. Please give me your opinion on it. Jon698 (talk) 00:07, 6 June 2025 (UTC)
Hi Jon698, thank you very much for the review. I can take a look on this after Tuesday. Best. HistoryofIran (talk) 21:54, 6 June 2025 (UTC)
Ops, completely forgot about this, my bad.
1) Hard to say tbh. Mohammad Ebrahim Khan Javanshir certainly should have an article of his own due to his high ranking position. I can't speak for the others. Shall I just keep  Mohammad Ebrahim Khan Javanshir then?
2) Sorry, but I have to disagree, the section does not talk about his early life.
3) Done.
4) Thank you!
5) Imho I think that is it a bit more confusing chronologically, lacks a bit of context which the previous one gave a bit more of.
6) I do. HistoryofIran (talk) 12:50, 29 June 2025 (UTC)
Could you rewrite the lede so that it is three more equally sized paragraphs rather than two paragraphs, one short and one long? Jon698 (talk) 13:52, 29 June 2025 (UTC)
I've split the long paragraph and altered it a bit, thoughts? HistoryofIran (talk) 23:26, 29 June 2025 (UTC)
@HistoryofIran: I'm fine with the article in its current state. Passed. Jon698 (talk) 00:48, 17 July 2025 (UTC)