# Talk:All of My Friends Were There

This review is transcluded from Talk:All of My Friends Were There/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
to the review.
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 10:28, 3 August 2022 (UTC)

This is going to be reviewed by me today! --K. Peake 10:28, 3 August 2022 (UTC)


### Infobox and lead
Since the actual recording month is not known, change to merely 1968 in the infobox
But it's known that it's either July or October.
Pye is linked both in the studio and label parameters leading to the exact same article, so only keep one
One goes to Pye Studios and the other to Pye Records. The former redirects to the latter because there isn't an article for it, but there could be someday, so I think that means they both ought to be kept.
Mention in the first sentence that it is from their sixth studio album, The Kinks Are the Village Green Preservation Society (1968)
Done.
The second sentence should be written/sung and recorded period
Done.
"concert where Davies fell" → "concert during which Davies fell"
Done.
Make the third sentence the one about the musical style, then the lyrical content in another sentence or more
Done.
"The recording features" → "The song features"
In the reword, is "Its" fine? I just want to avoid the repetition ("the song ... the song ... the song ...).
"while its style indicated" → "while its style showcased"
Done.


### Background and composition
Quote box looks good!
"was further inspired by" → "was also inspired by"
Done.
"from Davies's time spent" → "from his time spent"
Done.
Swap the second and third paras for the correct comp order
Done.
I don't think "In writing" is really appropriate at the start of the para; maybe try something like when writing or through the writing of?
Changed to the former.
"all of his friends there" → "all of them there" to be less repetitive
Done.
"describes the ending" → "describes the ending as"
Done.
"sense of companionship."" → "sense of companionship"." per MOS:QUOTE
Done.
Pipe metre to Metre (music)
Done.
Pipe chorus to Refrain
Done.
Shouldn't you use the plural of lead vocal instead for Davies?
I'm not sure what the convention is in British English. I see the FA Sgt. Pepper uses both.
Wouldn't it be better to reword to mentioning something about the pitch instead of writing intonation?
The source (Rogan 2015) says "posh intonation", but doesn't mention the pitch. I've changed it to "posh tone".
"closes the song awkwardly and" → "is an awkward closer and"
What's wrong with the original wording?


### Recording and release
Quote box looks good!
"to expand its track listing to fifteen," → "to expand it to fifteen tracks,"
Done.
"though it possibly dated" → "though the song is possibly dated"
Done.
Remove the word magazine after The Village Voice
Done.
"He suggests the song displays" → "He suggested the song demonstrates"
Done.
"song", calling it" → "song", calling the song"
Done.
"of the band's next" → "of the band's succeeding"
Done.
"instead thinks the song" → "instead considers the song"
Done.
"of the village green."" → "of the village green"." per MOS:QUOTE
Done.


### Notes
Hinman updated his dating to → Hinman updated his date to
Done.


### References
Copyvio score looks great at 29.6%!!!
Solely cite the publisher for ref 26
Done.


#### Sources
Pipe Backbeat Books to Rowman & Littlefield
Per our discussion in the GAN for "Starstruck", I piped it to UBM Technology Group.


### Final comments and verdict
 On hold until all of the issues are fixed; nice article once again! --K. Peake 11:15, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
Thanks again Kyle Peake, comments and responses above. Tkbrett (✉) 18:27, 3 August 2022 (UTC)
Tkbrett About the recording date in the infobox, simply change to 1968 because that is the know year and or for either month is not a good idea and the awkwardly part needs rewording to avoid overusage of the song. --K. Peake 07:38, 4 August 2022 (UTC)
Kyle Peake: gotcha, I reworded the "awkwardly" part. Is there anything in the MOS about the infobox dating? Template:Infobox song#recorded doesn't provide any guidance, nor does MOS:ALBUM#Dating. I still feel its better as is than the broader "1968". Tkbrett (✉) 15:27, 4 August 2022 (UTC)
Tkbrett Not that I'm aware of, however I'd advise against adding unspecific dates to infoboxes. --K. Peake 07:13, 5 August 2022 (UTC)
Kyle Peake if it's really a personal preference thing and not anything in the MOS, I preferred to keep it as for the reasons above. Tkbrett (✉) 12:17, 5 August 2022 (UTC)
Tkbrett Maybe you could add a note to the infobox clarifying this? --K. Peake 07:44, 6 August 2022 (UTC)
Kyle Peake, sure, does this look okay? Tkbrett (✉) 11:15, 6 August 2022 (UTC)
 Pass now, the note works perfectly! --K. Peake 16:41, 6 August 2022 (UTC)
Thanks! Tkbrett (✉) 11:47, 7 August 2022 (UTC)