# Talk:2005 24 Hours of Le Mans

This review is transcluded from Talk:2005 24 Hours of Le Mans/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 12:22, 11 April 2020 (UTC)

1. Prose
Lead

Since its debut - since their debut
Done MWright96 (talk) 17:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
Background

In the first paragraph, could you clarify that Faroux's proposal started the 24 Hours of Le Mans in general? The way it reads now, readers might think you are just referring to the 2004 edition.
Link Charles Faroux
the president of the automotive group, the Automobile Club de l'Ouest (ACO) - president of Automobile Club de l'Ouest (ACO), I think the link is enough explanation.
Then, put a comma before you start talking about Coquile
Done all MWright96 (talk) 18:01, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
Regulation and track changes

and 8 seconds otherwise - and 8 seconds. Otherwise
Done all MWright96 (talk) 17:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
Automatic entries

also did not take up their - also did not accept their, unless this is an incorrect way to say it for some reason
Added MWright96 (talk) 17:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
Entry list and reserves

due to the car suffering from aerodynamic deficiencies from a modification to the height of the car's rear wing at the 2004 Petit Le Mans to comply with the ACO's regulations, promoting the No. 76 IMSA Performance LMGT2-class Porsche from the reserves. - due to aerodynamic deficiencies caused by an ACO-mandated modification to the height of the car's rear wing at the 2004 Petit Le Mans. This promoted the No. 76 IMSA Performance LMGT2-class Porsche from the reserves.
LMP2/04 - de-link, since no article
Change was to were
Done all MWright96 (talk) 17:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
Testing

car fifth - add a verb
Take out the comma after 1989 event
with the No. 59 of David Brabham second - and the No. 59 of David Brabham was second (or you can use a different verb if you want)
Take out the comma after Ferrari
Done all MWright96 (talk) 17:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
Qualifying

Eight hours...was available - Eight hours...were available
within 115 per cent - typo?
chose to meet - chose merely to meet, otherwise there's no point of the statement
seconds he set - seconds which he set
Tom Kristensen and Ryo Michigami's - add comma after Kristensen
vehicle came fifth - vehicle came in fifth
The No. 39 Chamberlain-Synergy Motorsport Lola car of Peter Owen had earlier caused the session to be stopped with a loss of control at its rear while changing gears and crashed at the exit of the second Mulsanne chicane. Owen was unhurt. - Earlier, the No. 39 Chamberlain-Synergy Motorsport Lola car of Peter Owen had caused the session to be stopped because of a loss of control at its rear while changing gears. It crashed at the exit of the second Mulsanne chicane but Owen was unhurt.
4 minutes and 1.197 seconds lap - 4-minute-and-1.197-second lap
Sam Hignett seventh - Sam Hignett was seventh
fuel rig braking - fuel rig breaking
Similarly Dumas - Similarly, Dumas
to go fourth - to go to fourth
3 minutes and 50.311 seconds lap - 3-minute-and-50.311-second lap
4 minutes and 5.326 seconds time - time of 4 minutes and 5.326 seconds
a lap of 3 - a time of 3 for variety since you use lap soon after
The highest-placed Audi was third after a time from McNish's Champion car - McNish's Champion car was the highest-placed Audi, in third.
115 per cent limit - typo?
session and dispensation - session. Dispensation
Done all MWright96 (talk) 17:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
Warm-up

leaving Indianapolis turn - leaving the Indianapolis turn
Done MWright96 (talk) 17:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
Start and opening hours

race, led by the starting pole sitter Boullion. - race. Bouillon, the pole sitter, led the field. run-on sentence the way it is now
but the Gosselin's - but Gosselin's
Lola were in the pit lane - Lola began the race in the pit lane
LMGT1-class leading - add a dash between class and leading
thetrack - space
Chicane and dropping to third - Chicane, dropping the car to third
undertray and promoting - undertray, promoting
60 mph (97 km/h) as he returned - 60 mph (97 km/h) and he returned
Ford Chicanes and caused - Ford Chicanes, causing
Not long after Patrick Bourdais - Not long after, Patrick Bourdais
trap and he made - trap, making
gearbox and subsequent - gearbox. Subsequent
to rectify and dropped - to rectify dropped
Ian Mitchell after passing - Ian Mitchell, which passed
2 hour and 30 minute mark the - 2-hour-and-30-minute mark, the
Shortly after Comas - Shortly after, Comas
garage and the car fell to fifth - garage, forcing the car to fifth
began leaking oil and necessitating - began leaking oil, necessitating
15 minutes and marshals - 15 minutes as marshals
were recalled Pirro - were recalled, Pirro
corner and he - corner. He
position and Marco Werner - position; Marco Werner
Done all MWright96 (talk) 17:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
Night

made a pit stop to relinquish the No. 58 Aston Martin to his co-driver Peter Kox - pitted to switch control of the No. 58 Aston Martin with his co-driver Peter Kox
bodywork and it was retired - and bodywork, forcing its retirement
It briefly - The incident briefly
Ortelli who - Ortelli, who
car though he avoided - car. Ortelli narrowly avoided curing run-on sentence
sixth overall and promoted - sixth overall, promoting
Not long after Donny Crevels' - Not long after, Donny Crevels'
pipe and retired - pipe. He retired
Take out "heading towards Indianapolis corner" - earlier sentences have already indicated to the reader where the oil was.
coasted down - coasted backwards down for clarity
At midnight Ayari's - At midnight, Ayari's
chicane and forcing - chicane, forcing
Ayari to fall to 14th - Ayari to 14th
LMP2-category leading - LMP2-category-leading
Done all MWright96 (talk) 17:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
Morning to early afternoon

Soon after a - Soon after, a
Indianapolis and it was beached - Indianapolis and it became beached
gravel and McNish - gravel but McNish
its - his Audi's
braking point and retired - braking point, forcing its retirement.
because the car sustained major damage to its right-hand corner - because the brunt of the impact was to the car's right-hand corner
an hour and fell to third in the category - an hour, causing it to fall to third in the category
Soon after Enge's - Soon after, Enge's
splitter and the - splitter. The sentence is too long as-is
damage and promoting the sister No. 59 entry of Stéphane Sarrazin to second place in category. Sarrazin subsequently sustained a left-rear puncture; he returned to the circuit retaining second position in LMGT1 - damage. Stéphane Sarrazin in the No. 59 passed its sister No. 58 for second as well; though Sarrazin subsequently suffered a left-rear tyre puncture, his pit stop did not cost him the position.
chicane and he spun through 90 degrees into a tyre wall - chicane. He spun 90 degrees into a tyre wall, damaging the No. 17 Pescarolo car's rear wing, steering and suspension, as well as loosening its bodywork.
Pescarolo were - Team Pescarolo was
The No. 17 Pescarolo C60 vehicle's retirement elevated - The No. 17's retirement elevated
The Zytek - The No. 9 referring to it as the Zytek would be like referring to Jeff Gordon's car as The Dupont
Soon after the - Soon after, the
radiator due to the opening - radiator. The debris was a result of Boullion's crew opening
two laps adrift - two laps back, the car is not at sea
Done all MWright96 (talk) 17:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
2. Verifiability

Ref 80 seems dead
That link has since been removed from the ADT website and have replaced with a live link from Crash.net MWright96 (talk) 17:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
Other than that, references look good!
3. Depth of coverage

Kristensen eclipsed Jacky Ickx's all-time record of six overall Le Mans wins - maybe add, "heading a class that included Ickx's daughter in one of the entries." Interesting fact. If you make this change, take out the and before Werner and let that be its own sentence
Not so certain that it would add anything to the article and I don't believe it's relevant to the bigger picture MWright96 (talk) 17:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
She's mentioned a couple times anyway and linked, so readers can figure that out on their own if they want. Fine the way it is. I'm going to look this back over now and see if there's anything else. 18:48, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
4. Neutral
5. Stable
6. Illustrations
7. Misc
These are all the things I found to work on. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 13:35, 11 April 2020 (UTC)

@Sanfranciscogiants17: Have made the edits asked with some minor variances. Please do re-read the article to check if I've missed anything and if there is anything else that needs addressing. MWright96 (talk) 17:58, 11 April 2020 (UTC)
Saw a couple things I'd missed, but it was too trivial to even bother to mention here, so I corrected them myself. Promoting to GA class. Excellent work on these three articles; I really enjoyed reading them! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 18:56, 11 April 2020 (UTC)