# Talk:2004 24 Hours of Le Mans

How so? What classifies as "official" since Pescarolo, Zytek, Lister and Panoz all had factory teams in the LMP1 class, and Chevrolet had a factory team in GTS. SchellZ (talk) 02:23, 16 December 2011 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:2004 24 Hours of Le Mans/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk · contribs) 23:05, 9 April 2020 (UTC)
1. Prose
Background and Regulation Changes

In the first paragraph, could you clarify that Faroux's proposal started the 24 Hours of Le Mans in general? The way it reads now, readers might think you are just referring to the 2004 edition.
from 12 to 13 June - from June 12 to 13
Races that have occurred in Europe and the United Kingdom have their date format in the DD/MM/YYYY due to local guidelines MWright96 (talk) 09:56, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
I'm fine with that. Just didn't realize the to was properly positioned. Thanks for alerting me. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:38, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
Link Charles Faroux
the president of the automotive group, the Automobile Club de l'Ouest (ACO) - president of Automobile Club de l'Ouest (ACO), I think the link is enough explanation.
Then, put a comma before you start talking about Coquile
that took effect from the 2004 race - that first took effect in the 2004 race
The former Le Mans Grand Touring Prototype and Le Mans Prototype 900 (LMP900) categories merged and was renamed Le Mans Prototype 1 (LMP1) and was limited solely to manufacturers - The former Le Mans Grand Touring Prototype and Le Mans Prototype 900 (LMP900) categories were merged and renamed Le Mans Prototype 1 (LMP1), which was limited solely to manufacturers
The Le Mans Prototype 675 (LMP675) category had no car capable of challenging for the overall victory and the ACO designated it a lower class and renamed it Le Mans Prototype 2 (LMP2). - Since the Le Mans Prototype 675 (LMP675) category had no car capable of challenging for the overall victory, the ACO designated it a lower class and renamed it Le Mans Prototype 2 (LMP2).
such as a Porsche 911 GT1 at the 1998 Petit Le Mans and the Mercedes-Benz CLR at the 1999 Le Mans race, - such as the wreck of as a Porsche 911 GT1 at the 1998 Petit Le Mans and the wreck of a Mercedes-Benz CLR at the 1999 Le Mans race
I changed the wording slightly; others avoid using the word "wreck" since it is less formal than crash/accident MWright96 (talk) 13:07, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
outside of its wheelbase - outside of their wheelbase
and a reduction in rear overhang coupled an increase in front overhang - and a reduction in rear overhang coupled with an increase in front overhang
Shouldn't minimize be minimize? If this is just a geographic variant (like defense is spelled defence in Canada), you can leave as is, but if not, it should be minimize.
This is a geographic variant MWright96 (talk) 13:07, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
Done all MWright96 (talk) 13:07, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
Automatic entries

Teams who won - probably should be teams which won, as a team is probably technically an object, not a person
Some second-place finishers were also...Entries were also granted... Change the second of those sentences to start, "Additionally, entries were granted..."
As entries were pre-selected to teams - not quite sure what this means. Change either to entries were pre-selected by teams or entries were designated for teams, depending on which is correct.
they were not - the teams were not
from the previous year to the next, but were permitted - end preceding sentence at next and start new sentence They were permitted
did not take up their automatic entries - did not accept their automatic entries
Done all MWright96 (talk) 13:07, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
Entry list and reserves

Change the start of one of the paragraphs so they don't both start with on.
Arena Motorsport withdrew its Dome S101 car, promoting the No. 4 - did it replace the Dome S101 with the No. 4, or did it move the No. 4 higher in the field by withdrawing the other entry? Either change to replace or specify that the other car moved up in the field.
Thierry Perrier's Porsche 911 GT3-RS was elevated into the race entry - Thierry Perrier's Porsche 911 GT3-RS got into the race
I do not feel that the proposed change would help in raising the quality of the article. MWright96 (talk) 09:56, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
It makes it more concise. Please change it. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:39, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
Done with a minor change MWright96 (talk) 13:07, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
was delisted and promoting - either switch to replaced with or note that the second car got to start higher in the field
A second Racing for Holland Dome car was promoted - was added
promoting Seikel Motorsport's No. 84 Porsche - This allowed Seikel Motorsport's No. 84 Porsche, or note that the Porsche moved up in position
Done all MWright96 (talk) 13:07, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
Testing

by Johnny Herbert's sister No. 88 Audi - by its fellow Audi, Johnny Herbert's No. 88,
Done with a minor change to the one suggested MWright96 (talk) 13:07, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
More to follow once I get a chance! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 23:29, 9 April 2020 (UTC) 

Eight hours...was available - were available
on 9 and 10 June - on June 9 and 10
Soheil Ayari's No. 18 Pescarolo C60 car sixth - Soheil Ayari's No. 18 Pescarolo C60 car took sixth
ahead of the sister No. 35 Epilson Sport car - ahead of its sister No. 35 Epilson Sport car
after damaging the front splitter - after damaging its front splitter
the No. 6 Rollcentre Racing Dallara SP1 vehicle was seventh - the No. 6 Rollcentre Racing Dallara SP1 vehicle scored seventh
Courage No. 31 C65's lap time was unchallenged... Right now, the way the sentence is structured, you are comparing lap time to a car. Change it so the sentence either compares the lap times of both cars or compares both cars.
and went three seconds clear of the JMB Ferrari. - and finished three seconds ahead of the JMB Ferrari
Rain showers during 10 June - Rain showers on June 10
and the first expectations of improved lap times in the third qualifying session were negative - and lap times in the third qualifying session were expected to be less than what they had been before.
temperatures increased and allowed - temperatures increased, allowing
More to come! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 00:08, 10 April 2020 (UTC)

eight minutes in,[36] and - take out the comma
12th fastest overall - add a dash
second in class - second in its class
qualified it in third caused it to qualify third
second and third in class - second and third in their class
Warm-up

Try not to have back-to-back sentences in this section start with The
Bourdais' engine cover shed from his Pescarolo C60 car - Bourdais' engine cover came off his Pescarolo C60 car
Done all MWright96 (talk) 13:07, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
Start

held off an challenge - held off a challenge
The other two Audis...The top five cars - change the start of one of these sentences
were caught out by a patch of oil - lost control when they ran over a patch of oil
and recovery from trackside equipment enabled McNish and Lehto to return to the garage for extensive repairs - and were taken to the garage for extensive repairs (unless you really want the part about trackside equipment in there, your choice)
The No. 9 Kondo Dome vehicle of Ryo Michigami slowed on course in the final third of the lap with a transmission failure that dropped it to fifth, behind the No. 18 Pescarolo C60 car of Érik Comas and Katsutomo Kaneishi's No. 15 Racing for Holland car as it was repaired in the garage - The No. 9 Kondo Dome vehicle of Ryo Michigami suffered a transmission failure on the final third of the lap and had to go the garage for repairs. It dropped to fifth, passed by the No. 18 Pescarolo C60 car of Érik Comas and Katsutomo Kaneishi's No. 15 Racing for Holland car.
reset the fastest lap in LMGTS to a 3 minutes and 53.327 seconds to be 17 seconds - posted the fastest lap in LMGTS at 3 minutes and 53.327 seconds, 17 seconds behind
relinquished - gave up
The proposed change would end up making the article less formal than it is MWright96 (talk) 09:56, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
I disagree, and my problem with "relinquish" here is that while it technically is correct, I don't think I've ever heard it used in the context of an auto race. If you'd rather not put "gave up the lead," you could phrase it a different way, but try not to make it sound stilted. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:57, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
and had a heavy crash against the inside barrier at the exit to the Karting Esses with the rear of the car , crashing the rear of the car into the inside barrier at the exit to the Karting Esses
responded to Ara's faster pace to stabilise the gap at the front of the field and it increased after Ara ran into a gravel trap on the Mulsanne Straight - stabilized his lead over Ara, which increased after Ara ran into a gravel trap on the Mulsanne Straight
in LMGTS when he spun - in LMGTS until he spun
car past and his clutch - car past. His clutch
Prodrive changed the clutch and the Prodrive changed the clutch but the
Done all MWright96 (talk) 13:07, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
Night

threw the No. 63 Corvette backwards and struck a barrier - threw the No. 63 Corvette backwards into a barrier
vision was obscured by a thick dust cloud and the No. 37 Courage C65 car crashed into a barrier - crashed into a barrier when his vision became obscured by a thick dust cloud
It - now change to His No. 37 Courage C65 car
into a gravel trap that necessitated his entrance to the pit lane - into a gravel trap, forcing him to go to the pits
In the first sentence of the second paragraph, specify whether Davies or Magnussen had the penalty
category over the No. 64 Corvette was lowered from - take out was
to hold sway in the LMGT class - change hold sway to lead, more formal
the car relinquished the lead it had held for the majority of the race - the car lost its lead it had held for the majority of the race
The car, driven by Patrick Long, returned to the track in second, - Patrick Long replaced Bergmeister and returned the car to the track in second
with a broken right-rear halfshaft and the car - change and to but
Delink William Binnie (unless you think the link should stay, but right now, there's no article for Binnie)
to rectify a misfire he had for the past two hours - add suffered between had and for
Then, change the next suffered to experienced
after Turner's No. 65 Prodrive Ferrari was affected by gear selection problems - change was affected to experienced
Also, add a comma after Not long after
as the car spent the majority of the past hour in the garage - the next hour? Or, note that it fell to fifth because it had spent an hour in the garage
Done all MWright96 (talk) 13:07, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
Morning to early afternoon

In the early morning the Champion - add comma after morning
of brake disc and the No. 17 - split into 2 sentences
the left-rear suspension failed on Short's No. 6 Dallara car in the Karting Esses - the No. 6 Dallara car driven by Short suffered a left-rear suspension failure in the Karting Essesre
Soon after the race leading - Soon after, the race-leading
put a hyphen or dash between flat and spotted
front-left wheel bearing seized through the Dunlop Chicane - change through to in
The car returned to the garage and it lost the class lead to Beretta's No. 64 Corvette - The car returned to the garage, losing the class lead to Beretta's No. 64 Corvette
and relinquished the lead - and gave up the lead
It did not however result - It did not, however, result
Done all MWright96 (talk) 13:07, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
Finish

from its crash in second hour - from its crash in the second hour
and Kaffer was fifth - finished fifth
Although Corvette Racing ran out of spare parts because of the incidents it was involved in - its crashes? If you don't think they were all "crashes," you can leave as is. Also, change it to its cars
win after the team won the 2003 race in conjunction with Alex Job Racing - win (following its 2003 win in conjunction with Alex Job Racing)
take out the comma after Racing
renewable fuelled car - renewable-fuelled car
Intersport were victorious in LMP2 - either Intersport was victorious or the Intersport entries were victorious, whichever's more accurate
Back in qualifying, re-link Rachel Welter (only linked in lead right now)
Done all MWright96 (talk) 13:07, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
2. Verifiability
Nice job citing. I'll be checking the references for formatting when I get back. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 01:00, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
References look good! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 01:17, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
3. Depth of coverage
After reading through the article, I think the depth is good!
4. Neutral
5. Stable
6. Illustrations

Obviously, you can only work with what's available - that said, I like they're positioning, and they look good!  Nice job! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 01:17, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
7. Misc

@Sanfranciscogiants17: Have made the changes were appropriate. Just to inform you that European-based article used wording such as sed instead of zed and the date format is DD/MM/YYYY and not the MM/DD/YYYY format MWright96 (talk) 09:56, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
@MWright96: The word relinquished, while technically correct, just sounds weird - I am not a big fan of it. If you're not a fan of my specific suggestions, you could use alternate wording (was passed, fell a position, etc.) but please not that word. Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 12:37, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
@Sanfranciscogiants17: Further edits have been made to the article by yours truly. MWright96 (talk) 13:07, 10 April 2020 (UTC)
Thanks; looks good; passing! Sanfranciscogiants17 (talk) 14:28, 10 April 2020 (UTC)