# Talk:Birdsong (picture book)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Birdsong (picture book)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Whiteguru (talk · contribs) 10:03, 12 May 2021 (UTC)

 
Starts GA Review; the review will follow the same sections of the Article. Hopefully we will start soon. --Whiteguru (talk) 10:03, 12 May 2021 (UTC)

 


### Comments from Reidgreg
I don't want to interrupt this review process, but I was already doing some follow-up on the WP:GOCER copy edit of the article, with particular attention to close paraphrasing and quotations.  I have not directly edited the article and will post my notes here as advice.  I yield to the GA reviewer who I'm sure will do a more thorough job of examining the article.
A few possible changes (not needed, but nice):

Link 'indigenous' to Indigenous peoples in Canada on first mention in lede and body.
I was a little surprised that the article doesn't mention the author is Metis-Cree.  I guess there isn't really a section that fits that in nicely.  It's probably okay to add {{WikiProject Indigenous peoples of North America}} to the article talk page.
If you want, you can link 'Canada' in the infobox to Canadian literature.
Paraphrasing:

and argued that the same was true for the changing connection between Katherena and Agnes This is a little close to the source: "The same is true also of the aged Agnes".  It's a common enough phrase but how would you feel about changing it to: and argued that this paralleled the changing connection between Katherena and Agnes.
Bryan feels "Katherena will [also] surrender to the ravages of age, but this will happen only after her place has been taken by a younger person who has evolved and been endowed with wisdom gained through an acquaintance with [her]".  This is a little long at 36 words.  40 words is the rough threshold at which we'd use a block quotation (see MOS:BLOCKQUOTE) so we usually try to keep quotations below that unless they are particularly illustrative.  Let me try reworking it...  How about:  Bryan infers that this cycle will continue with an aged Katherena yielding "her place [to] a younger person who has evolved and been endowed with wisdom gained through an acquaintance with Katherena".  Or another way:  Bryan notes that the theme gives the impression that this cycle will continue with an aged Katherena yielding "her place [to] a younger person who has evolved and been endowed with wisdom gained through an acquaintance with Katherena".
Sujei Lugo of The Horn Book Magazine praised the book's lyrical narrative and illustrations: "The text is smooth and lyrical, but the pictures could almost tell the story by themselves, each composition portraying the emotional journey of Agnes and Katherena". Lugo perceived the words and images to capture the warmth of the female protagonists and help encapsulate the idea of respecting elders. The Lugo review is only 206 words.  I seem to remember fair use rules only allowing 10% of a work to be quoted (though searching the guidelines, I only found this as applied to music samples) as a maximum.  That would allow, at most, a 20-word quotation from Lugo.  The quotation in the article is 26 words, so I'll try to rework it.  How about:  Sujei Lugo of The Horn Book Magazine praised the book's "smooth and lyrical" writing and the illustrations for "portraying the emotional journey of Agnes and Katherena". Lugo felt that these show the affection of the protagonists and help encapsulate the practice of honouring elders.
The quote from KGQ, "both flattened and textured with subdued tones that follow the changing seasons accordingly" is under 10% of the total review and I feel it's best to keep it in the reviewer's voice.
Another quote from Bryan: Bryan acknowledged the "enticing" illustrations, "sweet lyrical prose"  I think this should be "enticing illustrations [and] sweet lyrical prose".  (Bryan's review is over 600 words, so I think you're okay for total length of quotes.)
The Publisher's Weekly review is only about 150 words so we have to be careful here.  Publishers Weekly regarded the book as a "subtle, sensitive story" that delicately describes the themes of growth and loss through intergenerational friendship, art, and time. The publication particularly praised the glossary of Cree words which attached "an intimate layer of identity" to the narration and illustrations.  The underlined parts are the same as the original, so I feel that the paraphrasing doesn't go far enough.  How about:  Publishers Weekly regarded the book as a "subtle, sensitive story" that describes themes of maturation and loss through art, time, and friendship. The publication particularly praised the glossary of Cree words which attached "an intimate layer of identity" to the story.
Calling the book "simple and profound", Laken Hotten of School Library Journal wrote that the "tender story is a reminder that finding a new friend can make a new place feel like home".  There's nothing wrong with this, but if you're looking to cut down on quoted words an alternative could be:  notes the message that "a new friend can make a new place feel like home".
I see you've done quite a few DYKs and GAs, so you're probably familiar with the Earwig tool which can help identify potential copyvio. If you haven't already, feel free to list this article at WP:CAN10K.  Please {{ping|Reidgreg}} if you have any questions. – Reidgreg (talk) 13:15, 12 May 2021 (UTC)

Hi Reidgreg, very kind of you to leave these suggestions here. Thank you very much for stopping by and taking time to look at the article. Your suggestions have been very helpful and I've revised the article accordingly. Your help is much appreciated. Ashleyyoursmile! 16:47, 12 May 2021 (UTC)
 
 On hold

Whiteguru, just letting you know that the GOCE advice has been implemented already. --Ashleyyoursmile! 03:58, 13 May 2021 (UTC)
@Ashleyyoursmile: Thank you. I have been in attendance on other matters, should be along to the review soon. --Whiteguru (talk) 04:45, 13 May 2021 (UTC)
Whiteguru, no worries. Please take your time. Ashleyyoursmile! 06:00, 13 May 2021 (UTC)
 


### Observations
GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar):  b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): 
There is excessive linking in the infobox. I think we can remove links to 'Canadian literature' and 'Hardback' from the infobox.
 Done
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR):  d (copyvio and plagiarism): 
Copyvio check completed: no issues.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 
Given this is a children's picture book, the reviews are important and have been well utilised.
In the Reception section, it tells, Critics praised the book and some readers may ask who?. Are we referring to critics or reviewers here?
 Done revised it to "Reviewers".
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 
NPOV is presented in the article.
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 
Page created 11 April 2021
Page has had 9 editors for 67 edits;
1,599 page views in the last 60 days
page is considered stable
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 
Birdsong (Julie Flett 2019) book cover.jpg = Non-free use rationale book cover: (acceptable for picture book)
Overall:
If we can attend to the minor issues raised above, the article will likely pass the GA Review. --Whiteguru (talk) 07:25, 13 May 2021 (UTC)
Hi Whiteguru, thank you very much for the review. I've revised the article accordingly. Please let me if it looks alright and anything else needs to be addressed. --Ashleyyoursmile! 10:09, 13 May 2021 (UTC)
Ashleyyoursmile, thank you for your corrections.  --Whiteguru (talk) 20:43, 13 May 2021 (UTC)
 
 Passed