# Talk:Alex Lawless

This review is transcluded from Talk:Alex Lawless/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
GA review (see here for criteria)
This article needs a major revamping and cleanup before being nominated for GA status again. Please before nominating again, get the article peer reviewed. JRA_WestyQld2 Talk 04:30, 6 September 2009 (UTC)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):  b (MoS): 
Break his club career section down into his different clubs. Unfortunately there isn't enough content at this time either. The article doesn't flow and facts are stated almost like a list. It is full of sentences are short and filled with and's and comma's. The quotations in the article aren't necessary and could be replaced to simply let the sentence flow.
Granted, it needs expanding, and I was hoping to do this before the eventual GA review. Mattythewhite (talk) 16:39, 6 September 2009 (UTC)
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 
Overuse of BBC Sport as a reference. Try and use more newspaper or online articles rather than reports.
Where does it say in the WP:Good article criteria about overusing a particular source? The BBC happens to be a very useful resource, hence it being used often. Mattythewhite (talk) 16:39, 6 September 2009 (UTC)
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 
A lot of work needed. Information about national team selection. Perhaps why? Go into depth? More below.
I imagine the reason for him being selected in the national team is because the manager thought he was one of the best players to utilise, that pretty much goes without saying. But some more information regarding his time with the team would be useful. Mattythewhite (talk) 16:39, 6 September 2009 (UTC)
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 

It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 
Very low resolution photo used in article and is not a very good size.
I can't really do anything about that, there's no hemorrhage of photos to choose from for lower-league footballers. Mattythewhite (talk) 16:39, 6 September 2009 (UTC)
Overall:
Pass/Fail: 
A lot of work needed to bring this up to GA status. Please use peer review in future. JRA_WestyQld2 Talk 04:30, 6 September 2009 (UTC)


#### Article problems
Content - Nowhere near enough of it, I'd be reluctant to put this article up to C-class status. Their simply isn't enough detailed information. JRA_WestyQld2 Talk
Lead - Needs to be looked at. Put his birthplace in there as well, not under a section known as "club career". JRA_WestyQld2 Talk
Could you explain why it needs looking at? And per WP:LEAD, information shouldn't be mentioned only in the lead.
Club career - No information about youth career at Cardiff or Fulham. Perhaps try and find youth or scouting reports or articles on the player at an earlier date. JRA_WestyQld2 Talk
Will look out for such details, although it will be difficult to come by. Mattythewhite (talk) 16:39, 6 September 2009 (UTC)
International career - This is poorly written. It has four facts, in four sentences crammed into a small paragraph. This is why it is important to use more sources than BBC. Same applies for club career. JRA_WestyQld2 Talk
If anything crops up that isn't from the BBC, then I'll add it. Mattythewhite (talk) 16:39, 6 September 2009 (UTC)
Personal life - Is there enough information about this to warrant a section? JRA_WestyQld2 Talk
Career stats - Fine. JRA_WestyQld2 Talk
References - Over-reliance on BBC. Otherwise fine. JRA_WestyQld2 Talk

Alex Lawless was a failed nominee for good article status. Please view the log to see why. JRA_WestyQld2 Talk 04:36, 6 September 2009 (UTC)
And passed on the second attempt, see Talk:Alex Lawless/GA2. Resolute Lest We Forget 16:37, 11 November 2009 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Alex Lawless/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Resolute Lest We Forget 20:19, 1 November 2009 (UTC)

GA review (see here for criteria)
It is reasonably well written.
a (prose):  b (MoS): 

It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (references):  b (citations to reliable sources):  c (OR): 

It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects):  b (focused): 

It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias: 

It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.: 

It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  b (appropriate use with suitable captions): 

Overall:
Pass/Fail: 

This article certainly looks much improved over where it was at when it was first nominated. Things I have picked up on, however:

"He picked up an injury..." Do you know what the injury was?  The statement seems unusually vague.
I'm afraid not, I'm unable to find anything. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
The infobox says he made 14 appearances with Torquay, but the article says 16.  Please correct whichever is in error.
Neither is an error; the infobox accounts for league stats only, whereas the prose includes all appearances, which I have mentioned to clarfy. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
This is one of my biggest problems too, but you have a lot of comma abuse in various places.  Look to reword several sentences. i.e.:
"His final appearance of the 2005–06 season came in a 2–0 defeat to Lincoln City in February 2006,[15] and after making 16 appearances,[16] he was released by Torquay." Could be reworded  as "His final appearance of the 2005–06 season came in a 2–0 defeat to Lincoln City in February 2006.  He was released by Torquay after making 16 appearances."
Reworded. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
Better, but that is only one example.  You have numerous run-on sentences throughout.  These need to be looked at.
Have had a go at rewording. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:10, 6 November 2009 (UTC)
"After a period out because of suspension," - Why was he suspended?
I've tried searching through the Gloucestershire Echo's archives, but I'm unable to find anything. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
Is there any indication of why he would turn down interest from Football League teams to stay in the Conference National?
I've tried searching for more on this, but haven't been able to find anything. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
"Style of Play" is pretty glowing.  Are there any weaknesses to his game that should be mentioned?
Not been able to find anything yet, but I'll keep an eye out. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
Is there any information on his early personal life?  Family, where he grew up, etc?  This article is a decent log of what he has done in his sporting career, but is rather thin on who he is.  This does not seem out of line with other random football GA's I have looked at, so I'm not extremely concerned about it.
Again, I'll keep a look out. Mattythewhite (talk) 22:11, 1 November 2009 (UTC)
This is just a start, and I will probably take a second look and have a few more comments a bit later. I am placing the nomination on hold for now, as I do think the article is reasonably close. Resolute Lest We Forget 20:19, 1 November 2009 (UTC)

Still thin in some areas, but that appears to be the result of a lack of reliable source coverage.  On the whole, the article appears to cover the topic matter sufficiently for me to pass this as a GA.  Congrats! Resolute Lest We Forget 16:34, 11 November 2009 (UTC)