# Talk:A Black Mile to the Surface

This review is transcluded from Talk:A Black Mile to the Surface/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 16:42, 14 March 2021 (UTC)

I will take this on soon, after your great review of "Welcome to Heartbreak"! --K. Peake 16:42, 14 March 2021 (UTC)


### Infobox and lead
Replace hlist with bullet points per Template:Infobox album
Remove the plural of studio from any in the parameter since that is not supposed to be added in infobox
Remove wikilink on Favorite Gentlemen
Remove wikilink on studio album because it's too obvious
"released on July 27, 2017," → "released on July 21, 2017,"
"beginning in the summer of 2016" → "from the summer of 2016 onwards"
"The lead-off single," → "The lead single," with the wikilink
Target singles to Single (music)
"and "The Moth," were released ahead..." → "and "The Moth", were released later in the summer." because the commercial info doesn't belong here
Remove the introductions to who Andy Hull and Robert McDowell are because you've done that in the body
"that was far different from previous releases" → "that was a reset from the band's previous studio albums," plus mention the two were from 2014
"The resulting album is" → "A Black Mile to the Surface is" because the link is not directly sourced
Remove the term "influenced", as those are directly sourced as genres
Add a sentence about the album's critical reception, followed by one about the commercial side
 Done all of the above. Kncny11 (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)


### Background and production
"of those two albums," → "of the two albums,"
"inspired the band's" → "inspired Manchester Orchestra's"
Add a bit more from the reset para that is quoted, but not too much to avoid WP:OVERQUOTE
Punctuation should not be inside the speech marks for the song titles
"actually commit to it.'"" → "actually commit to it'"." per MOS:QUOTE
"over a period of" → "over periods of" for accurate representation
"Hull says that" → "Hull said that"
""one final push" that perfected" → ""one [final] push" for" per parphrasing of "one more push"
"Manchester Orchestra recorded the album" → "Manchester Orchestra recorded A Black Mile to the Surface"
"indie rock producers,"" → "indie rock producers"," with the wikilink
"Marks describes the" → "Marks described the"
"The band traveled to" → "Manchester Orchestra traveled to"
"at home in" → "at their headquarters in"
 Done all of the above Kncny11 (shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)


### Themes and composition
Retitle to Composition and themes per order
The alternative rock genre is not backed up, per the source: "For a band as consistent in the alt-rock realm as Manchester Orchestra, a reinvention like this can be a gamble." The quote only calls the band alt-rock.
PopMatters filed it under both indie and alternative rock, so I used that source for both
[15][14] only the latter should be kept here since [15] is invoked later in the sentence too, plus [14] should only be here rather than earlier as well Kncny11 (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
[15][16] the latter should not be here because it's at the end of the sentence Kncny11 (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
Remove Pixies because the AllMusic source says the one song sound like them is the exception
[17][16] put in numerical order
The town being home of DUNE is not sourced
Removed the DUNE, left in SURF, which is mentioned by the source
Commas should not be inside speech marks for the song titles
"the first four tracks on the album "set a" → "the first four tracks set "a"
"dark theme," the narrative part of the record" → "dark theme", the narrative part of A Black Mile to the Surface" per MOS:QUOTE
""try and do" → ""[t]ry and do" per the original's capitalisation
"want to play."" → "want to play"."
"Marks' vision for the record" → "Marks' vision for the album"
"different rooms of the studio" → "different rooms of the studios"
The acoustic effects part is unsourced
Changed it to "reverberations", per the source.
"Penultimate track "The Parts,"" → "The penultimate track ,"The Parts","
"in the studio's bathtub," → "in a studio's bathtub," per it not being known which studio
"of the album is" → "of A Black Mile to the Surface is
"insignificance of yourself."" → "insignificance of yourself"."
"means that "[w]hen this" → "means: "When this"
"The album's title, "A Black Mile to the Surface," derives" → "The title of the album derives" per the title already being mentioned in this para
Wikilink "The Gold"
 Done all of the above. Kncny11 (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)


### Release and promotion
Concord Music Hall is not mentioned anywhere in this section, so either add a mention of it or reword the img text
"by the album's first single," → "by the album's lead single," with the wikilink
Remove wikilink on "The Gold"
Pipe single to Single (music)
Commas should not be inside speech marks for the song titles
"was released two weeks later" → "was released 13 days later" per the source
"on July 10." → "on July 10, 2017."
"on July 21, 2017 through" → "on July 21, 2017, through"
Remove comma after independent label
"On June 12, only a few days after announcing their upcoming album," → "On June 12, 2017, only a few days after the album's announcement,"
Lowercase the Front Bottoms per MOS:THEMUSIC
"to celebrate the tenth anniversary of Mean Everything To Nothing." → "to celebrate Manchester Orchestra's 10th anniversary of Mean Everything to Nothing." per MOS:NUM
"Black Mile chapter."" → "Black Mile chapter"." per MOS:QUOTE
 Done all of the above. Kncny11 (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)


### Reception
#### Commercial performance
Swap this sub-section with critical reception for the correct order
"for the band." → "for Manchester Orchestra."
"It debuted the album at #33 on the main" → "It debuted at number 33 on the US" but this sentence and the others are not backed up by the Billboard ref
"also entered the Billboard Alternative Albums chart at number six," → "also entered at number six on the Billboard Alternative Albums chart,"
"the Billboard Rock Albums chart at number seven" → "at number seven on the Billboard Rock Albums chart"
Don't think the slight drop in success is really notable
"peaked at #59 on" → "peaked at number 59 on"
"#73 on the" → "number 73 on the"
"and #93 on the United Kingdom charts." → "and number 93 on the United Kingdom chart."
The above chart positions are not backed up; try to add ref names from the table to fix this
 Done rewrote the section a bit. Kncny11 (shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)


#### Critical reception
Italicise The A.V. Club, Pitchfork and PopMatters
"was released to generally positive reviews" → "was met with generally positive reviews"
Remove the indication part since you have already mentioned the reviews being generally positive
"wrote that the band" → "wrote that Manchester Orchestra"
Fix MOS:QUOTE issues throughout this section; remember that these do not apply to full sentences though
Only saw one I had to change.
Wikilink acoustic guitars
"... inviting comparisons" → "[...] inviting comparisons"
Target samples to Sampling (music)
 Done all of the above. Kncny11 (shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)


### Track listing
Add a source to verify this is the track listing
See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 16:31, 16 March 2021 (UTC)


### Personnel
Pipe mastering to Mastering (audio)
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 15:53, 16 March 2021 (UTC)


### Charts
See MOS:TABLECAPTION
 Done Kncny11 (shoot) 15:53, 16 March 2021 (UTC)


### References
Copyvio score looks fairly decent at 30.6%
Top job with the archiving!
Cite HMV as publisher instead for ref 7
Cite Uproxx as publisher instead for ref 8
Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 9 and 19
MusicTech.net → MusicTech on ref 10
Replace Noisey with Vice in the work parameter for ref 18, plus remove the publisher
Paste Magazine → Paste on refs 21 and 23
Remove the publisher from ref 22
Cite NPR as publisher instead for ref 24
Upset Magazine → Upset on ref 25
Ref 31 is not needed and can be replaced with the chart history from the table using a ref name and/or a Billboard news article
Cite Freitas after Ryan in the first name parameter for ref 35
 Done all of the above. Kncny11 (shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)


### Final comments and verdict
 On hold until all of the issues are fixed, but don't feel afraid to ask me if you are confused about anything! --K. Peake 10:51, 15 March 2021 (UTC)
@Kyle Peake: I think everything has been addressed! If you've got a moment, I'd be very appreciative if you reviewed Painting of a Panic Attack, but no worries if not! Kncny11 (shoot) 16:47, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
@Kncny11: You have missed a number of MOS:QUOTE issues; to be specific, this refers to when a full sentence is not quoted and the punctuation is inside the speech marks, so examples where the end of the sentence is a quote like PopMatters need to be fixed. --K. Peake 19:04, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
@Kyle Peake: Those should also be fixed now. Apologies. Kncny11 (shoot) 19:12, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
@Kncny11: There are still a number of points where you have placed commas inside speech marks. --K. Peake 19:50, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
@Kyle Peake: Everything should be fixed now. Kncny11 (shoot) 19:57, 16 March 2021 (UTC)
@Kncny11:  Pass now, congrats to your efforts even after I had to leave a few comments and do some copy editing after your initial response! --K. Peake 20:41, 16 March 2021 (UTC)