# Talk:Al-Kunduri

The request for CE has been done. There are several places that I can help where there is a lack of clarity on who or whom is being referred to. I labeled those places. An important article so I hope that an author can work on those.--Akrasia25 (talk) 16:08, 12 July 2021 (UTC)

HistoryofIran i'm pretty sure its (کندری) Amir Ghandi (talk) 19:56, 29 August 2021 (UTC)

I see, thanks! --HistoryofIran (talk) 22:18, 29 August 2021 (UTC)

This review is transcluded from Talk:Al-Kunduri/GA2. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 06:00, 15 January 2022 (UTC)

Hi there, I'll be reviewing this article in the coming days. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 06:00, 15 January 2022 (UTC)


### Overall
Apologies for the delay in reviewing this, but I have left some comments below. Take your time in addressing them. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 07:55, 23 January 2022 (UTC)

HistoryofIran, all of your changes look good and I'm satisfied with your reasoning for leaving the things that you did. The references look good - I checked what sources I could (Bosworth 1968, Bosworth 2011, Özaydın, Peacock, and Tetley) and will AGF on the others, as they look to be reputable and reliable. I made one minor change to that section: rather than holding up the nomination just because of it, I went ahead and added a |language= parameter for the Özaydın source, which is the only non-English source I found that I could access. Google Translate told me that the language was Turkish, but if I'm wrong please correct me. All of that being said, I'm happy to give this a pass! Well done. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 16:55, 3 February 2022 (UTC)
Yup, it's Turkish. Thanks for that, and thanks for your review. --HistoryofIran (talk) 17:01, 3 February 2022 (UTC)


### Lead/infobox
If Al-Kunduri's exact birthday is not known, how is it possible to definitively say that he was 40 years old at the time of his death?
Removed it. --HistoryofIran (talk) 15:22, 27 January 2022 (UTC)
"...a marriage between the latters daughter and Tughril." → who does "the latter" refer to?
The caliph. I've changed it, thoughts? --HistoryofIran (talk) 15:22, 27 January 2022 (UTC)
"Alp Arslan, who ruled Khurasan that" → comma needed after "Khurasan"


### Background
"dehgan" is spelled in the lead of the target article with the "â" character; is this a meaningful change?
The dehqan article needs some adjustments. I don't think macrons should be used. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:12, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
I'll defer to you on this one. Struck. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 01:23, 25 January 2022 (UTC)


### Career
#### Under Tughril
Broadly speaking, this subsection gets a bit sparsely cited at times, particularly in the third paragraph.
Third paragraph? You mean the bit where it starts with; "During the subsequent rebellion of Tughril's" --HistoryofIran (talk) 14:21, 29 January 2022 (UTC)
Yeah, that's the part I was looking at. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 21:50, 29 January 2022 (UTC)
Added more citations to it. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:55, 3 February 2022 (UTC)
"who could speak both fluent Arabic and Persian." → link Arabic and Persian language
"July/August 1055" → expand to "July or August 1055"
"...translating Arabic and Persian into Turkic for him." → link Turkic languages (is there any indication of which variety of Turkic it was? if so, note that) and remove space between full stop and citation
remove space between full stop after "Iranian king Fereydun" and the citation
"as well as the merchants, and the leading officials of Baghdad" → if the intended meaning of this sentence is "as well as the merchants of Baghdad and the leading officials of Baghdad", then I would remove the comma after "merchants". If that is not the intended meaning then that part of the sentence should be reworded.
Removed comma. --HistoryofIran (talk) 01:00, 3 February 2022 (UTC)
"a clerk of Kunduri killed" → does not read clearly
Again, "between the latter's daughter" doesn't work here as "latter" means the second of two stated items; since only al-Qa'im is mentioned in the sentence, the use of "latter" reads as being out of place.
"between May–June 1061" → expand to "between May to June 1961"
The target page Iqta' includes an apostrophe and is not italicized, so its mention in the article could potentially incorporate those changes
I added the apostrophe, but kept the italicized name, as that's how sources commonly spell it. That article needs a even heavier rewrite than dehqan. --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:56, 3 February 2022 (UTC)
"between February–March 1062" → expand to "between February and March 1062"


#### Downfall and death
"khutba" is spelled "khutbah" at the target article - is there a reason for this difference?
There are different ways to spell it. I'm not sure which is more WP:COMMON NAME - I've personally seen "khutba" more though. I just used the spelling used in the source. --HistoryofIran (talk) 01:53, 26 January 2022 (UTC)


### Beliefs
I think it would help for this section to be expanded just a bit in order to give a touch more context; this section could be very difficult to comprehend for a reader who might be unfamiliar with the subject matter to comprehend.

Adjusted it a bit, thoughts? --HistoryofIran (talk) 00:59, 3 February 2022 (UTC)


### Legacy and assessment
This section looks good to me.


### Images
File:Amid al-Mulk Kunduri Square2021 6.jpg – relevant to subject matter; valid license Y
File:TughrilCoin.jpg – relevant to subject matter (tangentially, but it's close enough so as to not seem out of place); valid license Y
File:Alp Arslan on throne Majma al-Tawarikh by Hafiz Abru.png – relevant to subject matter; valid license Y