Case Name: Mahmoud Ismail AYYASH, Appellant, v. Mona Lehman AYYASH, Appellee
Court: Florida District Court of Appeal
Jurisdiction: Florida
Decision Date: 1997-10-10
Citations: 700 So. 2d 752
Docket Number: No. 96-3374
Parties: Mahmoud Ismail AYYASH, Appellant, v. Mona Lehman AYYASH, Appellee.
Judges: DAUKSCH and THOMPSON, JJ., concur.
Reporter: Southern Reporter, Second Series
Volume: 700
Pages: 752–765

Head Matter:
Mahmoud Ismail AYYASH, Appellant, v. Mona Lehman AYYASH, Appellee.
No. 96-3374.
District Court of Appeal of Florida, Fifth District.
Oct. 10, 1997.
Patricia L. Strowbridge of Patricia L. Strowbridge, P.A., Orlando, for Appellant.
Joy M Goff-Marcil of Goff & Goff-Marcil, Orlando, for Appellee.

Opinion:
HARRIS, Judge.
The issue in this case is whether the trial court erred when it amended a temporary order entered pursuant to section 61.13(2)(a), Florida Statutes, which had granted custody to the father after the mother had absconded with the children. The amended order gave custody to the mother on her application after she was located in Tennessee and ultimately brought before a Florida court. We find error and reverse.
The mother fled the state and concealed the children for some six and a half years. After she was found, she petitioned the court to modify the temporary custody previously awarded the father. The court granted her request and the father appeals, contending that he was the victim of a double standard '(because he is the father rather than the mother) and was subjected to racial stereotyping.
Mahmoud Ayyash (Mike), an American citizen since 1972 but of Palestinian origin, and Mona Ayyash were married in 1987 and lived in Orlando, Florida. They are the parents of two daughters. Shortly before the birth of the second daughter, Mona moved out of the marital home and into the home of her parents, who also lived in Orlando. She filed for divorce, seeking sole custody of the children. After Mike responded to the complaint, Mona took a voluntary dismissal. Mike filed a separate action for dissolution and sought custody of the children. Mona, with the assistance of her parents, fled the state, fraudulently obtained a false birth certificate and a driver's license in the name of a deceased woman, and successfully concealed the children from their father for over six years.
In 1991, the Orange County Circuit Court granted temporary custody to Mike. This was done under the authority of- section 61.13(2)(a), Florida Statutes, which grants the court jurisdiction to determine custody, even if the child is not before the court, if it finds that the child was removed from the state in order to avoid a determination of custody. In June, 1992, an Orange County circuit judge entered an order to take the children into custody. The children were finally located in Tennessee in 1996. The mother first presented her request for a change of custody to the Tennessee court, which declined to assume jurisdiction of the matter, finding as one of its reasons: "[Tjhis Court further would decline to exercise jurisdiction based upon 36-6-209 [Tenn.Code Ann.] in that I believe that the conduct of Ms. Ayyash was as defined, reprehensible conduct, because she knew after May of 1991, that there was a Court Order from Florida and she chose to ignore it. Furthermore, she was also aware at this time that the courts in Florida had granted her husband custody of the children and she took no action to modify this action of a Florida Court by having counsel file a Petition for Modification in the State of Florida."
It was the mother's position below that she fled the state and concealed the children because she feared the father would flee with them to Jordan where she could have little contact with them. Although Mona testified below that she feared that Mike would take the children and flee the country, the trial court not only found that this testimony was incredible, but also seemed to question even that Mona had such fear. The court below found:
There is no basis that the court can find-no substantial basis that the father would think about leaving the country. The mother may or may not have had this strong concern about that occurring when she left in the past. In any event, she's shown to be wrong, if you did have the opinion, because it's — at this time it's not shown to be the case. The father's found to be a very responsible person and has ties with the community and there's no legitimate reasonable basis to fear that he would be leaving the country with the children. (Emphasis added).
What then was the court's basis for finding that custody should be modified? There appear to be only two reasons. First, because the mother has had the children for the last six years, stability would be maintained by modifying custody. Although the courts often rely on continuing a stable environment in determining who should be the primary residential parent, we have not been referred to any case holding that this "stable environment" can be created by absconding with the children. Such a policy would be in conflict with the state's objective of encouraging shared parental responsibility. The very first criterion for the courts to consider in determining the best interest of the child is which parent is more likely to allow frequent and continuing contact with the nonresidential parent. Since Ms. Ayyash flunked this test so badly, the other criteria pale in significance.
The other reas'on stated by the trial court is that the mother should be given the opportunity to redeem herself. She should be able to prove that in the future she will be a responsible parent and permit the father to participate in the lives of his children. While redemption is always a noble objective, it is not a basis for modifying custody. Nor does this reason appear to be totally neutral since it seems to be preparing the mother for permanent custody.
Neither of these reasons justify ignoring an existing custody order entered by a different circuit judge while the mother was on the run with the children. Although the judge whose order is on appeal was concerned with the best interests of the children, he appears to have deferred consideration of that issue. He stated:
But what's going to be in their best interest is for the parents to now recognize each other as parents and to respect each other as parents and to — regardless of which one ultimately gets primary residential care of the children, to be willing to support the other parent in their contact with the children.
Even if we assume that the court found that it was in the best interest of the children to remain with their mother, and entered its judgment accordingly, still its decision must be supported by the record. Let's examine the record to see if the judge's decision that the best interest of the children would be served by awarding custody to the mother is supported by the record.
The legislature, has provided: "After considering all relevant facts, the father of the child shall be given the same consideration as the mother in determining the primary residence of a child irrespective of the age or sex of the child." Section 61.13(2)(b) 1, Florida Statutes. This is a gender-neutral policy in awarding child custody. This policy, 'however, is perhaps distinguished more by its-lack of general judicial acceptance than by its routine application in custody cases. If a court is really serious in applying a gender-neutral custody policy, it will set down the pluses and minuses of each parent and then evaluate the custody issue based only on the resulting scoresheet.
First, let's consider the record as it relates to the father's side of the ledger. In this case, we have a father who has maintained stable employment and has resided in the same home for over ten years. Indeed, the court found him to be "a very responsible person" who "has ties with the community." The mother, on the other hand, has moved over twelve times and to several different states in that same time span and has depended, on many occasions, for support from her parents. (See section 61.13(3)(e)). We have a father who has shown respect for the law by attempting to obtain custody through legal channels (not reverse kidnapping) and a mother, on the other hand, who absconded with the children and improperly denied the father any knowledge of their location or their condition. (See section 61.13(3)(j)). We have a father who, so far as this record demonstrates, has been truthful and trustworthy and a mother, on the other hand, who has lied in official documents by obtaining a false birth certificate in the name of a deceased woman and then obtaining a false driver's license in the same name. In these instances, false oaths were almost certainly required. (See section 61.13(3)(f)). We have a father who has by his actions taught the children to pursue their goals in an honest and proper manner and a mother who, on the other hand, has by her action taught the children to seek their goals by lying and deceiving. (Again, see section 61.13(3)(f)). We have a father who, at least in so far as we can determine from this record, is willing to promote and encourage visitation with the other parent and a mother who, as this record clearly demonstrates, not only hid the children from the father for over six years but at the 'present time professes to believe that the children would be better off with the father out of their lives. (See section 61.13(3)(a)).
Now let's look at what the record establishes on the mother's side of the ledger. We have a mother who has had sole custody of the children for over six years without the help of any moral or financial support from the father. (See section 61.13(3)(b), (e) and (d)). It appears, however, that any advantage to the mother's scoresheet that might normally flow from these factors must be discounted by the fact that they are based on the mother's absconding with the children and hiding them so that the father was unable to provide moral and financial support for the children or to develop a close, loving relationship with them. It seems to be urged that on the mother's side of the ledger should also be the fact that the father is foreign born and the mother is not, that the father is a devout Muslim and the mother is not, and that the father wants his children exposed to both his religion and his heritage while the mother wants their exposure limited to her background. The trial court ignored these "factors" and so shall we.
How does this record support custody with the mother? The father deserves better justification for the ruling, rather than an exhortation that he must be understanding and forgiving of the mother's actions.
The record simply does not support the judge's implied finding that at the time he changed the temporary order of custody the mother would "recognize" and "respect" the father's parental role or that she would "support the [father] in [his] contact with the children." Indeed, she testified at the change of custody hearing that she still believed that the children would be better off without any contact with the father. Under this record, we find no support for a finding that the best interest of the children would be served by returning them to the custody of the one who abducted them, kept them from their father for over six years, and still professes that she thinks the father should be removed from their woi-ld. The only lesson the mother has taught the children for the past six years is how to run and hide and pretend to be someone and something they are not. It was an abuse of discretion to remove custody from the father, custody properly awarded during the mother's flight, merely in the hope that the mother will do better in the future. This is particularly true when no believable evidence was offered to reflect adversely on the father's ability to care for the children or his willingness to encourage a continuing relationship between the children and their mother.
But there is another contention made in support of the mother. We are urged to assume that the trial court believed, and relied on as a basis for its ruling, the testimony that the father was abusive to the mother, even though there is no indication in the record that the trial judge believed the testimony or made his ruling based on it. It is logical to assume that a judge who makes a ruling based on a particular legal theory believes the evidence offered in support of that theory. But it is illogical to assume that a judge who makes a ruling based on one theory of [aw believes the evidence offered in support of another proffered theory which is rejected by him, merely because the result of the action favors the one offering the rejected theory. In other words, it is urged here that since the mother testified that the father abused her, this would support her award of custody even though there is no indication in the record that the judge .gave any credence to her testimony. The father's testimony denied that any abuse took place. Indeed, the fact that the mother never reported the abuse even to her own parents (so far as this record indicates) and did not mention it in her original divorce petition even though she sought sole custody, and the additional fact that she raises it now only after she has been discovered and hauled into court and the further fact that she has not been faithful to the truth in the past, place considerable doubt on the truth of her testimony. So much so that the judge in this case, although offered the opportunity to expressly rely on the father's alleged abuse as a basis for awarding custody to the mother, chose not to do so.
Then there is the contention that there was testimony that the father, a Muslim, stated that he desires that his children be raised in a "real society with a real religion" and wanted his children exposed to "his traditions and his heritage." It is also urged that there was testimony that Palestinian men considered their wives and children to be possessions. Search as one may, one finds no indication that the judge based his decision to grant the mother custody on any theory that involves this testimony. Indeed, for the trial judge to prefer one religion over another in deciding custody — in a society as diverse as ours — would be most inappropriate. And to suggest that it is a bad thing to expose the children to the traditions and the heritage of either parent is insupportable by this record.
We recognize the present problem created by the mother's intolerable conduct. She has made the father a stranger to his children. She has robbed the father and the children of some six and a half years of paternal contact which almost every authority considers important to a child's development. How can the father now be best introduced into the lives of his children? It is a difficult question, but to return the children to Tennessee in the custody of a mother who testified below that she still believes that it is in the children's best interest to grow up not knowing their father is an abuse of discretion.
We must also consider the precedent which we would set if we approved the trial court's order. It tells all parents litigating custody, assuming gender plays no role in the court's forgiveness of one absconding with the children, that a parent can flee with the children and conceal their whereabouts from the other parent, even knowing the other parent has a court order granting him or her custody, and suffer no ill consequences if caught. In Costlow v. State, 543 So.2d 1259 (Fla. 5th DCA 1989), this court upheld the conviction of a father who merely avoided his responsibility under a custody order to return the child after visitation to the mother for six weeks. The father moved from motel to motel in Florida but always used his own name. He was found guilty of violating the criminal provisions of section 787.03, Florida Statutes, which prohibits the concealment of a child from the custodial parent if one knows of the order granting custody. The mother in this case acknowledges that she was aware of the father's custody order and was aware that he was trying to locate her. The trial court acknowledged:
What's occurred, as counsel for the — as Ms. Strowbridge has said, there has been a significant — it's not being labeled a crime at this point by society in that the mother is not being charged with a felony, I think she's lucky at that point — at this point that a case could have been brought, but I also think that it's better if it's not being brought at this point.
There is no justification, absent a specific finding of best interest of the children properly justified by the record, to ignore the temporary order of custody previously obtained by the father. If we are to accord any validity to an order entered when a parent has absconded, even if the order is temporary and is entered in the absence of the absconding parent, more must be required in order to change custody than was presented in this case.
The children should be delivered to their father. Because of the adjustment required by the long separation, the court might order counseling and may wish to appoint a guardian for the children to monitor the children's adjustment to living with the father. If this adjustment proves detrimental to the children, then further action may be required.
REVERSED for further action consistent with this opinion.
DAUKSCH and THOMPSON, JJ., concur.
ANTOON, J., concurs specially with opinion in which DAUKSCH and COBB, JJ., concur.
GRIFFIN, C. J., dissents, with opinion in which W. SHARP and GOSHORN, JJ., concur.
W. SHARP, J., dissents with opinion in which GRIFFIN, C.J., and GOSHORN and PETERSON, JJ., concur.
. Mike graduated from a Chicago high school and received a degree from Southern Illinois University. He has been employed at Walt Disney World since 1988.
. Judge Sharp has written as good an opinion as possible in support of the trial court's custody determination and, by so doing, has pointed out the philosophical differences between the majority and the dissenting positions.
She first emphasizes that the court's order under review is temporary rather than permanent. She does not, however, explain what difference this makes. The "best interest of the child" is the guiding principle in either case and the legislature has established criteria [section 61.13(3)] which the trial court must consider in determining the best interest of the child.
Although the trial judge articulated the reasons for his decision, Judge Sharp bases her opinion on a presumed unannounced reason and opines that "the judge has broad discretion. It should not be limited by hard and fast rules or factors." She also urges that the trial judge should not be required to express the reason for his custody ruling.
But we believe that although the trial judge indeed has broad discretion, he is nevertheless bound to consider the factors set out in section 61.13(3). Although one such factor is: "[a]ny other fact considered by the court to be relevant," this provision does not permit the trial court to keep a "fact" which it considers relevant secret from the parties and the appellate court by not discussing it in the final judgment or, at the very least, in the record. If such blind discretion is permitted, then a party would have no opportunity to challenge the ruling on the basis that the "fact" was not supported by the record. This, in turn, might lead to a perception, or worse the reality, that the custody determination is arbitrary and capricious.
Further, this additional "fact" which the trial court may consider is only one found relevant by the trial court and not by members of this court. The trial judge below told us the reasons he believed relevant to his determination to return the children to the absconding mother and his stated reasons are insufficient.
. As noted in Justice Shaw's concurring opinion in Mize v. Mize, 621 So.2d 417 (Fla.1993), the "tender years" doctrine which held "[o]ther things being equal . the mother of infants of tender years [is] best fitted to bestow the motherly affection, care, companionship, and early training suited to their needs" was long recognized in Florida. Even though this doctrine was overturned by the legislature's gender neutral policy, there remains a temptation for many judges to consider the right to custody as the mother's to lose and unless her fitness is legitimately challenged, the father's right of equal consideration is often ignored.
. Judge Griffin disdains the concept of a balance sheet approach. She suggests that it reweighs the evidence. Instead, it suggests that the trial judge did little, if any, weighing in the first place. She, as does Judge Sharp, in suggesting possible reasons for the court's ruling, ignores the fact that the court gave the reasons for its ruling. Neither of them suggest that the reasons given by the court are adequate. Instead they suggest that the judge had other reasons, good reasons, but he merely failed to disclose them to the father or this court. Judge Griffin also complains that while the majority of the judges are willing to accept the court's finding that the father never was a threat to remove the children from Florida, we are unwilling to permit it to weigh "the actual life circumstances." These life circumstances seem to be the children's "relationship with the mother," the fact that the mother had lived in the same town in Tennessee for three years, that she worked there, and that she planned to get married. The problem is that there is no indication that the court weighed these factors against the fact that the mother-child relationship was created by absconding with the children and that the father has lived in the same house for over ten years, has worked at the same job considerably longer than that and is married. The father must wonder if Judge Griffin's factors are so important, if the genders were reversed and it was the father who fled with the children and was found some six years later in a Palestinian enclave in Detroit and hauled back to a Florida court, if the judge would again release the children to him because of his relationship with the children and the fact that he had lived in Detroit for three years, had a job there and intended to get married. But it is Judge Griffin's suggestion that the judge can determine custody by looking at only one side of the ledger that is most troubling. If the judge makes a ruling for reasons not clearly in the record, there will always be a concern that the balance sheet that he is using has only one side.
. In response to the suggestion that the law supposes that the judge must have believed the testimony about the spouse abuse even though he rejected spouse abuse as a basis for his ruling, one is reminded of the statement by one of the characters in Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist: " 'If the law supposes that,' said Mr. Bumble, squeezing his hat emphatically in both hands, 'the law is an ass — a[n] idiot.' " Mr. Bumble was responding to the equally untenable legal supposition that a man is responsible for the acts of his wife, indeed even more responsible than the wife, because "the law supposes that your wife acts under your direction." A more reasonable supposition, and one with which even Mr. Bumble would agree, is that if the court does not accept a proffered theory, he probably did not believe the evidence offered in support of that theory.