Mark Goulston

**Mark Goulston** (February 21, 1948 – December 30, 2023) was an American psychiatrist, executive coach and consultant.

He worked with major companies, universities and other organizations. He developed a process he called _Surgical Empathy,_ which uses focused empathy to help people break through emotional and psychological barriers.

## Early Life

He was born in Boston, Massachusetts to Irving and Ruth Goulston. He skipped a grade and graduated early from Newton South High School. He studied zoology at the University of California, Berkeley and got his BA in 1969. He proceeded to medical school at Boston University School of Medicine and earned his MD in 1976. He completed his internship at Harbor General Hospital in Torrance, California. He then completed his psychiatric residency at the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute under suicidologist Edwin Shneidman.

## Career

Mark Goulston began with a private psychiatry practice where he worked on issues including suicide, death and dying. He worked in-office and made house calls. He then expanded into consulting, coaching, and speaking for companies like IBM, Goldman Sachs, and Xerox.

In 2015 he founded the Goulston Group, a consultancy to help organizations improve engagement. He also launched @wmystglobal (What Matters Most to You) in 2019 as a global movement to fight loneliness and disconnection through tactical kindness.

He was the co-founder of the Deeper Coaching Institute, a division of On Global Leadership.

## Surgical Empathy

He developed Surgical Empathy as an approach to help people open up, feel heard, and reduce internal barriers to change. One technique in this process is the "Five Reallys" where you ask what someone is "really" thinking or feeling by repeatedly asking "What's really going on?" while listening without rushing to give advice.

## Writing

He wrote numerous books including:

- Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone (2015)
- Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People in Your Life (2015)
- Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder for Dummies (2007)
- Get Out of Your Own Way at Work (2005)

He co-authored numerous books including:

- Get Out of Your Own Way: Practical Lessons for Conquering Procrastination, Fear, Envy, Needness, Guilt, and More (2021)
- Back After Burnout: Master your Burnout Recovery with the MASHPLAY Framework (2023)
- Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In (2023)
- The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship (2001)
- Trauma to Triumph (2021)

## Awards & Advisory Roles

Goulston served on advisory boards including HealthCorps and American Women Veterans. In April 2019 he received the Dr. W. Mark Warfel Resilient Heart Award. In 2022 he received the "Shine the Light Media Award" for his mental health work.

## Personal Life & Death

Mark Goulston lived in Los Angeles with his wife and three children. He died on December 30, 2023 after an unforeseen infection while recovering from a bone-marrow transplant.

## Legacy

Goulston leaves behind a legacy as a psychiatrist who moved beyond traditional therapy to apply insights into business, leadership and communication. His concept of Surgical Empathy has influenced how people and organizations think about connection, listening and change.

## Infobox (person)

- **honorific prefix**: Dr.
- **name**: Mark Goulston
- **image**: Goulston Profile.jpg
- **birth date**: February 21, 1948
- **birth place**: Boston, Massachusetts
- **death date**: December 30, 2023
- **alma mater**: Boston University
- **occupation**: psychiatrist, author, consultant