It's been 10 years of investment. It's been one foot in and one out. It's been 4 days of all to shit. and I feel snuffed out. It's been 33 years of restraining. Of trying to control this tumult. How I did invest in such fantasy. But my nervous system has worn out. I feel done I feel raked over coals. and all that remains is the case. That it's a bitch to grow up. I've repeated this dance at nauseum. There's still something to learn that I've not. I'm told to see this as divine perfection. But my bones don't feel this perfection. I feel done I feel raked over coals. and all that remains is the case. That it's a bitch to grow up. I've spent life hovering above bottom. Thinking I can't survive what's below. But I've known through the kicking and screaming. That there was no other direction to go. I feel done I feel raked over coals. and all that remains is the case. That it's a bitch to grow up