If you're havin girl problems i feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. [Verse One]. I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol. Foes that wanna make sure my casket's closed. Rap critics that say he's "Money Cash Hoes". I'm from the hood stupid what type of facts are those. If you grew up with O's and you zap the toes. You'd celebrate the minute you was havin doe. I'm like fuck critics you can kiss my whole asshole. If you don't like my lyrics you can press fast forward. Got beef with radio if i don't play they show. They don't play my hits well i don't give a shit SO. Rap mags try and use my black ass. So advertisers can give em more cash for ads...fuckers. I don't know what you take me as. or understand the intellegence that Jay-Z has. I'm from rags to ritches nigga i ain't dumb. I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. Hit me. [Chorus]. 99 Problems but a bitch ain't one. If you havin girl problems i feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. Hit me. [Verse Two]. The year is '94 and in my trunk is raw. In my rear view mirror is the mother fuckin law. I got two choices yall pull over the car or. Bounce on the devil put the pedal to the floor. Now i ain't tryin to see no highway chase with jake. Plus i got a few dollars i can fight the case. So i...pull over to the side of the road. And i heard "Son do you know why i'm stoppin you for?". Cause i'm young and i'm black and my hats real low. Do i look like a mind reader sir i don't know. Am i under arrest or should i guess some mo?. "Well you was doin fifty five in a fifty four". "Liscense and regestration and step out of the car". "Are you carryin a weapon on you i know alot of you are". I ain't steppin out of shit all my papers legit. "Do you mind if i look round the car a little bit?". Well my glove compartment is locked so is the trunk and the back. And i know my rights so you gon' need a warrent for. that. "Aren't you sharp as a tack are some type of lawyer or. something?". "Or somebody important or somethin?". Nah i ain't pass the bar but i know a little bit. Enough that you won't illegally search. my shit. "Well see how smart you are when the K-9's come". I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one. Hit me. [Chorus X2]. [Verse Three]. Now once upon a time not too long ago. A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe. This is not a hoe in the sense of havin a pussy. But a pussy havin no God Damn sense try and push me. I tried to inore him and talk to the Lord. Pray for him cause some fools just love to perform. You know the type loud as a motor bike. But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight. The only thing that's gonna happen is i'mma get to clappin. He and his boys gon be yappin to the captain. And there i go traped in the kit kat again. Back through the system with the riff raff again. Fiends on the floor scratchin again. Paparatzi's with they cameras snappin them. D.A. tred to give the nigga the shaft again. Half-a-mil for bail cause i'm African. All because ths fool was horrasin them. Tryin to play the boy like hes saccarin. But ain't nothin sweet 'bout how i hold my gun. I got 99 problems but this bitch ain't one. Hit me. [Chorus X3]. You're crazy for this one Rick