I go to the table. Your pictures are on the front. I looked so much younger then. Somehow so much different. I look in the mirror. I want to spit on my face. I hate these things I've become. I don't deserve to take up this space. That I live in. Dark rings around my eyes. Bruises on my bones. I'm tired of these lies that drip from my mouth. Like habitual beads from a broken string of once was love. I go to the drawer. I pull out the gun. In my hands it's heavy and cold. It feels like something I was damned to hold. Damn you man and your sweet kisses. Damn your hairs in the sink. Damn the pool and all the trash it collected. The leaves only look like blonds and brunettes to me. Damn my suspicion and damn my sight. Damn you and your twisted ways. Damn my courage for being gone so much. Damn love because it stayed. I lift the gun to my face. I'm gonna shoot myself in the eyes. The daisies are on the table. That you gave me yesterday. But yesterday I was willing to compromise. I hear the key and you open the door. Billy runs to greet you. Billy won't hurt anymore. The sun shines in the window. Where the pictures and the daisies lay. This chaos can't continue. I never liked daisies anyway. I hear your footsteps. Coming down the stairs. You reach the bottom with an apology in your hand. I'm standing there. Funny you have that same look in your eyes. As all those times I had in mine. I pull the trigger. The daisies apologize for the last time. Billy runs downstairs. I am numb. I call the police. Tell them what I've done. I go to the table. where the pictures and the daisies lay. I looked so much younger then. Somehow so much different. The sun shines through the window. Where the pictures and the daisies lay. Where the daisies lay. Where the daisies lay. Oh well. Never liked daisies anyway