I was choking on a cornflake. You said “Have some toast instead”. I was sleeping maybe three hours. You said “You should get to bed”. I was waiting at the church door. For the minister to show. I was looking at the new year. You said “Walk before you crawl”. I was feeling like a loser. You said “Hey you’ve still got me”. I was feeling pretty lonely. You said “You wanted to be free”. I was looking for a good time. You said “Let the good times start”. With a quiver of your eyelid. You took on someone else’s part. Maybe I’m a little greedy. You said “Think before you speak”. Sometimes I’m a little seedy. You said “Everyone is weak”. Now I feel a little better. Is there something I can do?. But I never heard the answer. I never had a clue. But what about me. I don’t really see. How things will improve. If all you want is to stay loose. There’s a little echo calling. Like a miner trapped inside. If I tell her of this moment. She will in me doubts confide. And she’s on me like a blanket. Like a stalk of wilting grass. I’m not sure about her motives. I’m not sure about her past. But my faith is like a bullet. My belief is like a bolt. The only thing that lets me sleep at night. A little carriage of the soul. If it starts a little bleaker. Then the year may yet be gold. Happiness is not for keeping. Happiness is not my goal. But what about me. I don’t really see. How things will improve. If all you want is to stay loose. But what about them. You play mother hen. To a gaggle of gangling youth. All you want is to stay loose. I was living through the seconds. My composure was a mess. I was miles from tenderness. It was dark outside the day it was lying in pieces. Everything is flat and dreary. I couldn’t care what’s in the news. Television is the blues. Television is hysterical laughter of people. And I know it could be me. I’m always asking for more. I keep running round in circles. I keep looking for a doorway. I’m going to need two lives. To follow the paths I’ve been taking.