Written By: Strummer/Jones/Levene. What the hell is wrong with me?. I'm not who I want to be. I tried spot cream an' I tried it all I'm crawling up the wall!. What's my name naaaame...naaaame....naaaame..... I tried to join a ping-pong club. Sign on the door said all full up!. I got nicked fighting in the road. An' the judge didn't even know. What's my name. Dad got pissed so I got clocked. Couldn't hear the Tannoy so he lost the lot. Offers Mum a bribe through the letter box. Drives you fucking mad. What's my name. Now I'm round the back of your house at night. Peeping in the window - are you sleeping tight?. I laugh at your locks with my celloid strip. An' you won't know who came.