i'd be lying if i said i was completely unscathed. i might be proving you right with my silence or my retaliation. would I be letting you win in my non reaction yeah?. and how would I explain?. and how would I explain this to my children if i had them?. because i can't not. because i can't not. because i can't afford to be misread one more time. would i be whining if i said i needed a hug?. would you feel slighted if i said your love's not enough?. and how can i complain?. and how can i complain when i'm the one who reaches for it?. because i can't not. because i can't not. because i cannot walk without my crutches. because i can't not. because i can't not. because i can't help wonder why you ask me. to all the unheard wisdom in the schoolyard. you think you're the right ones. you think you're the charmed ones I'm sure. but how can you go on with such conviction?. and who do you think you are why you question me?. because we can't not. because we can't not. because we can't help laugh at underestimations. because we can't not. because we can't not. because we can't afford to be mislead one more time. because we can't not. because we can't not. because we cannot help without your willingness. why do you affect me? why do you affect me still?. why do you hinder me? why do you hinder me still?. why do you unnerve me? why do you unnerve me still?. why do you trigger me? why do you trigger me still?.