Mean Mr. Mustard sleeps in the park. Shaves in the dark. Trying to save paper. Sleeps in a hole in the road. Saving up to buy some clothes. Keeps a ten-bob note up his nose. Such a mean old man. Such a mean old man. His sister Pam works in a shop. She never stops. She's a go-getter. Takes him out to look at the queen. Only place that he's ever been. Always shouts out something obscene. Such a dirty old man. Dirty old man