They can't catch me never gonna find me. They're never gonna know that I'm the High Plains Drifter. Pulled over to the river to take a rest. Pulled out a pair of pliers and pulled the bullet out of my chest. Fear and loathing across the country listening to my 8 track. Reached behind the seat and grabbed a Kool from the pack. Long distance from my girl and I'm talking on the cellular. She said that she was sorry and I said yeah the hell you were. Check my rear view mirror check the gold tooth display. Check the odometer and I was on my way. Cause I'm a high plains drifter the best that you can get. A strapped shoplifter a pirate on cassette. Bust a Travis Bickle when I feel that I'm getting pushed. Don't step to me or you're gonna get mushed. Doing 120 plowing over mail boxes. Radar detector to tell me where the cops is. Spend another night at the Motel 6. It's five dollars extra get the porno flicks. Concoct a black and tan in my brandy snifter. I'm a kleptomaniac K-Mart shoplifter. Cash flow getting low so I had to pull a job. I found a nice place to visit but a better place to rob. Left the car outside with the engine still revvin'. Time to get busy at 7-Eleven. Went inside to make my withdrawal. I would've took what he had had had I had to take it all. Knucklehead deli tried to gyp me on the price. So I clocked him off the turban with the bag of ice. Mellow like Jell-O cool like lemonade. Made my getaway and I thought that I had it made. I feel like Steve McQueen a former movie star. Look in my rearview mirror seen a police car. Ballantine quarts with the puzzle on the cap. I couldn't help but notice I was caught in a speed trap. Dirty Mary Crazy Larry on the run from Dirty Harry. Stash the cash in the dash but my gun I did carry. I'm seeing blue and red flashing deep in the night. I got my alibi straight and I pulled over to the right. Cop knocked on my window and said Boy where's the fire. you've got a mailbox on your bumper and a bald front tire. *Outta the car longhair* your goose is cooked. Read me my rights fingerprinted and booked. Makin' like a D.T. driving a Gran Fury. Wherever I hang my hat's my home and my past is kind of blurry. Every dog will have its day and mine will be in front of a jury. I'm the High Plains Drifter and I'm never in a hurry. Read me my rights as if I didn't know this. Threw me in the tank with the drunk called Otis. With his five o' clock shadow he smelled of 3-day old beer. My man turned to me and said why are you here?. I said I'm charming and dashing I'm rental car bashing. Phony paper passing at Nix Check Cashing. Went before the judge he sent me to the Brooklyn House of D.. He said you behave son or we'll throw away the key. Harry Houdini'd out the cuffs I kicked the screw in the knee. Took the bailiff's wallet and went straight to O.T.B.. I had a good feeling easy come easy go. I bet on one horse to win and your mother to show. And sure enough that nag came in. Brought my ticket to the window and collected my win. Broke into my new car with a wire coat hanger. Hot wired hot wheeled and *Suzy is a headbanger*.