Provisionally eyed. Practically alive. Mistook sign for signified. And so sins have often tried. To run him off a cliff like gadarene swine. Inside my wardrobe seem anchor bent. Wondering whether we were someone better then. Or maybe just better able to pretend. And what better means to our inevitable end?. You know?. I don't know if I know. Though some with certainty insist. No certainty exists. Well I'm certain enough of this. In the past fourteen years. There's only one girl I've kissed. And the blistering heat of the Asbury peer. We sat quiet as monks on the Ferris wheel. You're looking down at the water down at the sea. I asked her "did that ever occur in fantasy?". "Where you pushed little kids from the tops of the Ride?". Then she shook her head "no" I said "oh neither do I". And with my Grandma's ring I went down on one knee. And the subsequent catastrophe has since haunted me. Like a fibreglass ghost. To ask of my inconveniently selective memory. Forgetfully you. Mercifully withdrew. All the bearing points we thought we knew. Days run days set clock. Our calm is shot. We sailed waywardly on. Singing our midnight archer songs. Until well past dawn. It's still dark on the deck of our boat. Haphazardly blown. Broken bows our aimless arrow words. Don't mean a thing. Tonight I think it's pretty obvious that there's no God. And there's definitely a God. I dreamt on the rocks at the asbury dune. That you jumped from the top of the log flume. And they gather like wolves on the boardwalk below. They're howling for answers no wolf can know. I charged at the waves with a glass in my hand. I was tossed like a ball at the bottle stand. And I landed besides your remains on the stone. Where your cold finger wrapped round my ankle bones. Maybe ten feet away was a star. Thousands of times the size of our sun. Exploding like party balloons. ...?. Slept until our chest was full. Of yarn we spun from Shetland wool. Socks from where the Dorset grows. Sheared and scoured hours. Before the rooster crows. The price of German silver fell. Threw this huge tailors down. The superstition well