She lost her focus yesterday. She lost her focus in the sun. She sits and stares at it for hours. She says she likes to go outside. She gets hung up on the wind. She gets lost inside the happy noise. Sometimes I don't understand her. Sometimes I don't want to understand her. She says no no no no. She don't want no double life. She says I should know why. She seems happier at night. Her color TV and her chemical smile. . I don't wanna know the reason. I don't wanna know the reason why. She says. Jesus owes her money. She says. The angels are her friends. What the hell does that mean?. She's got the chemical smile. .