I was frantically looking for something. it's okay to stumble so go forward. I know it's foolish I just run on without regret. the only one I can trust is myself I didn't need friends. the fangs I bared at anything and everything. sexual stuff in adolescence is delicate and fleeting. I wanna be strong give me the strength to live on my own. honestly I was just scared of betrayal. I knew that nothing would change if I kept running away. but I couldn't change myself.. the loneliness I prided myself on. was a pair of wings to escape to my worthless dreams. the self assertion I prided myself on called 'RIOT'. there was no freedom nothing beyond this light.. Teenage Bluely Days. I was drowning in each rough new day. before I knew it I was shouldering such loneliness. It was hard. To be honest. I really didn't want to be on my own.. since always pretending to be strong makes one forget one's true face. it's important to occassionally loosen up and rely on others. hurt... when you want to cry face the great big sky. and scream out in a loud voice. that you want to forget yourself so you can keep being who you are.. the encouraging voices of my father my mother and my friends. spurred on even one so weak as myself they gave me light. the loneliness and pain of my youth that I prided myself on. were a pair of wings to escape to my worthless dreams. if there's freedom to be had in that clear blue sky. I wouldn't care if these wings I'm so proud of were torn off. I began running frantically aiming for the sky. I spread my wings and flew away and the spot where I fell. was 'freedom'.. with a wonderful family and wonderful friends. these were the best days of my life if I'm reborn. let's meet again...