These old letters from years ago. I felt it was leading to a [...]. When I wrote this [...]. I may have been finally able to address how it feels. Another brick-red room. another black-top town. Another misspelled band. burning their own houses down. Another pine-box tune. to fill the cemetery day. Another stay a touch of orange. over purgatory gray. Another thorny field. to scatter fruitless seed. Another song that runs too long. God knows no one needs. More misguided ghosts more transparent hands. To drop a nickel in our basket. and we'll do our Riot! dance. Beneath another burning sky. behind our painted lips. In scares of catatonic. smile-covered ankle-bitten ships. So throw your pedestal of stone. in the forgetful sea. As protection from the paper-thin perfection. you project on me. When this repetition ends. behind the window shades. A semi-conscious sorrow. sleeping in the bed I've made. That most unrestful bed. that most original of sins. And you'll say that's what I get. when I let ambitions win again. I'd hate to let you down. so I'll let the waters rise. And drown my dull reflection. in the naive expectation in your eyes. Back in a cast bit-part. back when I felt most free. I had a butcher's heart. and no one thought they knew me. So before the regiment resumes. before the dreaded sun appears. My driver's waiting. so let's make one point crystal clear:. You see a flood-lit form. I see a shirt design. I'm no savior of yours and you're no friend of mine. You're no friend of mine. You're no friend of mine. I'm no savior of yours and you're no friend of mine. You see a flood-lit form. I see a shirt design. I'm no savior of yours and you're no friend of mine. I see myself in the reflection of people's eyes. Realising what they see may not be even close. to the image I see in myself. And I hate I might actually be more afraid. [...] I feel like they know the story. I saw a bear floating in the river. and thought it was a fur coat. Twelve years ago I stood on the shore. Jump in and grab the coat. And the river is rushing toward a waterfall. And my friend stood at the shore. and shouted to let go of the coat. and swim back to land. I let go of the coat but the coat won't let go of me. In any case please let me know. if there's more I can give you. If nothing comes of it. then just know we are grateful