I get so angry and helpless. There’s no way back from this spiral. Something always has to give. And nothing is given for nothing. The drug is in my veins now. Your life is your own for the taking. My body must be slowing down now. But my heart is at the speed of flying. I’m walking out I close the door. I’m down the steps for the last time. You can lose too much to ever want to start. Over again - over again. When I look back and think about it. All I see is her face staring into mine. I feel the child holding onto me. I’m smelling his sweet smell of innocence. The world has become too silent. This night it seems everlasting. The clocks ticking on like dripping water. But the hands are not moving. I’m walking out I close the door. I’m down the steps for the last time. Then dawn breaks open in faded blue. And the sounds of the city waking. I’m walking out I close the door. I’m down the steps for the last time. But the grass is soaked with fallen dew. And the sun is almost rising