May I have your attention please. May I have your attention please. Will the real slim shady please stand up. I repeat will the real slim. shady please stand up. We're gonna have a problem here. Ya'll act like you never seen a white person before. Jaws all on the floor. Like Pam and Tommy just burst in the door. And started whoopin her ass worse than before. They first were divorced. Throwing her over furniture (aah). It's the return of the. "ah wait no wait you're kidding. He didn't just say what I think he did. Did he? ". And Dr. Dre said. Nothing you idiots Dr Dre's dead. He's locked in my bassment. Feminist women love eminem. Chicka chicka chicka slim shady. "I'm sick of him look at him. Walkin around grabbin his you know what. Flippin' to you know who". "yeah but he's so cute though". Yeah I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose. But no worse than what's. goin on in your parents bedroom (eheheheh). Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose. But can't but it's cool for Tom Green. to hump a dead moose. My bum is on your lips. My bum is on your lips. And if I'm lucky you might just give it a little kiss. And that's the message that we deliver to little kids. And expect them not to know. what a woman's clitoris is. Of course they're gonna know what intercourse is. By the time they hit 4th grade. They got the discovery channel dont they?. We ain't nothing but mammals. Well some of us cannibals. Who cut other people open like cantelopes. But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes. Then there's no reason that a man. And another man can't elope. But if you feel like I feel. I got the antedote. Women wave your pantehose. Sing the chorus and it goes. I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating. So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up. Please stand up please stand up. Cause I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating. So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up. Please stand up please stand up. Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records. Well I do so fuck him and fuck you too. You think I give a damn about a grammy. Half of you critics can't even stomach me. Let alone stand me. "but slim what if you win wouldn't it be weird". Why? so you guys can just lie to get me here. So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears. Bullshit Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs. So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst. And hear em argue over who she gave head to first. Little bitch put me on blast on MTV. "yeah he's cute. But I think he's married to Kim hee hee". I should download her audio on MP3. And show the world. how you gave eminem VD (aah). I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups. All you do is annoy me. So I have N'SYNC here to destroy you. And there's a million of us just like me. Who cuss like me. Who just don't give a fuck like me. Who dress like me walk talk. And act like me. And just might be the next best thing but not quite me. I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating. So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up. Please stand up please stand up. Cause I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating. So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up. Please stand up please stand up. I'm like a head trip to listen to. Cause I'm only giving you things. You joke about with your friends inside you livin' room. The only difference is I got the balls to say it. In front of ya'll and I aint gotta be false or sugar coated at all. I just get on the mic and spit it. And whether you like to admit it (riip). I just shitted it better than 90 you rappers out can. Then you wonder how can. Kids eat up these albums. Like valiums. It's funny cause at the rate I'm going. When I'm thirty. I'll be the only person in the nursing home flirting. Pinchin nurses asses. When I'm jackin off with jergen's. And I'm jerkin' but this whole bag of viagra. Isn't working. In every single person there's a slim shady lurkin. He could be workin at burger king. Spittin on your onion rings. Or in the parking lot circling screamin. I dont give a fuck. With his windows down and his system up. So will the real shady please stand up. And put 1 of those fingers on each hand up. And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control. And 1 more time loud as you can how does it go?. I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating. So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up. Please stand up please stand up. Cause I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating. So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up. Please stand up please stand up. Cause I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating. So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up. Please stand up please stand up. Cause I'm Slim Shady yes I'm the real Shady. All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating. So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up. Please stand up please stand up. Haha guess it's a slim shady in all of us. Fuck it let's all stand up