When I'm five. I will wash my face me hands all by myself. When I'm five. I will chew and spit tabacco like my grandfather Jones. 'Cause I'm only four and five is far away. When I'm five. I will read the magazines in mummy's drawer. When I'm five. I will walk behind the soldiers in the May Day parade. 'Cause I'm only four and grown-ups walk too fast. Yesterday was horrid day 'cause Raymond kicked my shin. And mummy says if I am good she'll let me go to school in August. Daddy shouted loud at mummy and I dropped my toast at breakfast. And I laughed when Bonzo licked my face because it tickled. I wonder why my daddy cries and how I wish that I was nearly five. When I'm five. I will catch a butterfly and eat it and I won't be sick. When I'm five. I will jump in puddles laugh in church and marry my mum. And I'll let my daddy do the washing-up. If I close one eye the people on that side can't see me. I get headaches in the morning and I rode on Freddie's tricycle. And everywhere was funny when I ran down to the sweetshop. Then I fell and bleeded-up my knee and everybody soppied me. I saw a photograph of Jesus and I asked him if he'd make me five. I saw a photograph of Jesus and I asked him if he'd make me five. When I'm five. When I'm five.