Well I arrived on time. My courduroy suit and me bottle of wine. There were women wall to wall. It's saturday night and I wanted them all. Everyone. Sidled up for a dance. I tried a new step and fell in the plants. I told a joke about the pope. It wasn't as funny as I would've hoped. Nobody told me she was the daughter. Of the mayor. I was so embarrassed I just wished the. Ground would swallow me up. Accidentally my elbow hit the record player. The rock 'n' roll stopped. And everybody just stared. (oh no). Who's gonna take me home. I'm tired and I wanna go to bed. Who's gonna take me home. This party's gone right to my head. I didn't worry not me. Panic ain't in my vocabulary. Smashed beyond reproach. Suddenly I wanted to take off my clothes. All hell broke loose. I started to take off my trousers and shoes. And so I tried to look cool. I stepped back and fell in the pool. The hostess helped me out. And asked for my dismissal. I said I was sorry but I've been. Under so much pressure. Just lately baby. I felt as popular as a russian guided missile. The last thing I remember I left with a girl. On a motor bike. That weighed three hundred pounds and. What's wrong with that. Who's gonna take me home. I'm tired and I wanna go to bed. Who's gonna take me home. This party's gone right to my head. To my head. I woke up on the floor. Still in my suit and she told me I snored. I never felt so cheap. I had a good laugh at the size of her feet. Holy moses I don't like this single living. I think I'll find me a nice local girl and. Settle on down now. With a home and a garden. And a nature quite forgiving. Then again maybe I'll just hang around. Who's gonna take me home. I'm tired and I wanna go to bed right now. Who's gonna take me home. This party's gone right to my head. To my head. Now who's gonna take me home. Hey brian could you give me a lift 'cos I don't live. Too far from you boy. Mary c'mon I've known you so long please give. Me a lift home oh c'mon. Jim oh c'mon boys would you just. Give me a lift home. I don't live too far from here and I'm so tired