Welcoming a New Brother or Sister Through Adoption
Don't be fooled by the title! Yes, this book is about brothers and sisters but it is also a most comprehensive look at adoption. The title could just as easily be Realistic Expectations About Adoption, hearing the stories of all members of the family. It explores pre and post-adoption as well as the psychological time-line of moving from immobilization to mobilization, and it includes many resources that would benefit all members of the adoptive family. Being comprehensive, it explores strengths and weaknesses, joys and challenges, moms and dads, brothers and sisters. This book should be an important guide for assisting families in making their ongoing journey of adoption. - Dan Hughes, Ph.D.,Therapist and speaker. Author of Creating Loving Attachments; Building the Bonds of Attachment; and Facilitating Developmental Attachment.What a courageous treatment of the issues in adoption. Arleta James dares to talk about the day the family becomes immobilized-that dark secret in child welfare that only the families themselves have, in the past, seemed capable of acknowledging openly. After walking with the reader through those depleting and terrifying days, she takes us to re-mobilization and renewal. She gets us to the place that families want to be, without overlooking the excruciatingly tough middle part. - Michael Trout, Director,Infant-Parent Institute, Champaign, ILDon't let the title of this book fool you! Arleta James has written a book not just about Brothers and Sisters in Adoption, but about the dynamics of any family formed by adoption. This approach to how a child's past influences his blending into family dynamics is comprehensive, yet not bogged down with academic details. Examples from Arleta's work as an attachment therapist are interwoven into the narrative to enrich this thorough, yet fast read. If you are working with families as they start the adoption process, put this at the top of the reading list. If you are a family seeking to grow through adoption, read this now, then again and again. If your family was formed through adoption years ago, this book will help you navigate the challenges of growing together as a family. This is an important tool for all who work in adoption to have at the forefront of one s professional and personal library. - Deborah Borchers, MD, International Adoption Pediatrician and Adoptive ParentTherapist James, who has many years of experience as an adoption professional, presents a superb, exhaustive handbook on adoption that fills a void in the literature. She focuses on issues surrounding families, with children who are flourishing, considering adopting children who have experienced complex trauma, including abuse, neglect, or abandonment. She delves deeply into the mental health issues of these children, which can be complicated by the existence of other adopted children. She concentrates on navigating the emotionally trying dynamics of the relationships among children who are thriving and those who are struggling, underscoring the needs of the typically developing children. Throughout the book, James includes stories of the adoptive families she has helped in her sessions. Numerous additional appendixes include a super preadoptive training model for typically developing children, an adoptive family safety contract, and an extensive listing of additional resources. This scholarly review of the adoptive literature combined with solid, pragmatic, and professional advice is a superb guide to a specialized topic. Required reading for all helping professionals working with children. --Library Journal 2/15/2009James has produced an extremely practical, theoretically based book which will have many parents laughing and sometimes, crying...Whether you are interested in pre-placement issues, post-placement concerns, disruption/dissolution, sexual acting out, blending siblings, or marital stress, Welcoming a New Brother or Sister Through Adoption will have something to offer you...I believe that every adoptive family will be better able to deal with difficulties that their children and family may be experiencing. Adoption agencies should consider making this book mandatory reading as a component of their pre-placement training program, and anyone who works with adoptive families will appreciate the deep insight that Arleta James has shared with us. --from the Foreword by Gregory C. Keck