Artie Lange's Beer League featuring Artie Lange & Ralph Macchio
It's appropriate that this extravaganza of lowbrow cinema had its premiere at the 2006 Cinevegas Film Festival, because what happens inArtie Lange's Beer Leagueshould stay inArtie Lange's Beer League. Lange is most recognizable for his stint in theMad TVensemble, but probably more idolized by the people who will get wild kicks from his leading man debut as the resident guest-baiter and booze/scatological/flatulence/sex joke expert on Howard Stern's radio show. Those are the same kinds of laughs this movie relies on in telling the wisp of a story about a bunch of New Jersey boneheads whose lives are fulfilled by softball games and the beer-guzzling that goes on before, during, and after. Artie's team is proud to be in the bottom ranks of their league, especially when brawls erupt at games against their slick, archrival team. Artie and the rest of his team know these arrogant jerks in their immaculate black (of course) uniforms are unbeatable, so it's only natural that Artie thinks its easier to just beat the hell out of them. The local cop who's had to deal with both teams finally gets so angry with the escalating brawls that he issues an ultimatum: Whichever team loses the season has to disband and never play on the league again. It's kind of an utterly tasteless version ofThe Bad News Bearsfor people who like their movies vulgar, offensive, misogynistic, and often really funny in spite of it all. Some of the subplots and supporting players include Ralph Macchio as one of Artie's childhood friends who's about to get married (cue depraved bachelor party scene with lots of topless babes), Mary Birdsong fromReno 911!as a kooky waitress, and a delightful turn by crusty character actor Seymour Cassel as Artie's teammate Dirt, who may be old but loves booze, fisticuffs, and debauchery as much as anyone. For some reason, Artie's foul-mouthed slobbery attracts a local Jersey girl (Cara Buono), even though he's jobless and still lives with his mom (Laurie Metcalf, who should get some kind of good sport award). The buffoonery doesn't just stop with the movie. There's also more than two hour of bonus material tailored for Artie Lange enthusiasts who probably number more than you'd think -- whether they'd ever admit it or not.--Ted Fry