A story that once would have been set in Paris or Vienna now occurs in Las Vegas, where ne'er-do-wells and courtesans have become mobsters and hustlers. Kites follows J, played by handsome Bollywood superstar Hrithik Roshan, a lowlife with smooth dance moves who marries green-card-seeking immigrants for cash. He thinks he's hit the jackpot when the daughter of a wealthy mobster falls in love with him--but when he sees Linda (played by delectable Uruguayan actress Barbara Mori), the fiancée of the mobster's son, J falls in love and discovers that he'll risk anything for her… and risk he will! J and Linda end up on the run, robbing banks, fleeing by car, train, and hot-air balloon with the mob and police on their trail. Kites is a staggering compendium of over-the-top clichés and preposterous romanticism; only a Bollywood movie--even one in English, Spanish, and Hindi--could get away with this kind of straight-faced absurdity. From the '80s dance-off to the operatic tragic conclusion, Kites is both ridiculous and ridiculously entertaining, like Titanic, Badlands, and Moulin Rouge thrown in a blender, with a time-bending narrative that cunningly teases out a new twist every time you think you know everything. Roshan and Mori are genetic marvels, blessed with astounding physiques and piercing hazel eyes. Silly, sexy, and compulsively watchable. --Bret Fetzer --platform47.com