Together Forever: The Gay Man's Guide to Lifelong Love
As the debate over gay marriage continues, Kantor's book offers solid couples counseling advice to gay men in committed relationships who may be headed for the divorce courts before they are even legally open to them. A psychiatrist specializing in gay men's issues and in a relationship himself for more than 22 years with the same man, Kantor assesses singeldom as a sorry state and coupledom as the greatest thing possible: "My book seriously pushes Donna Reed over Sex and the City," he writes, and he is true to his word, extolling the virtues of self-sacrifice over individualism and maintaining the relationship at all costs. However, coupledom is no bed of roses and to keep it feasible involves hard work; Kantor identifies nine relationship danger zones-boredom and restlessness, sexual problems, anger, fear of closeness and commitment, self-absorption, being uptight, getting paranoid, excessive dependency and excessive competitiveness-and devotes a chapter to each. A self-test in each chapter helps readers decide if this area is their relationship's danger zone, followed by examples from his experiences and concluding with ways to work through these dicey problems. For readers not in a committed relationship, the book's emphasis will annoy and be of little use. Fear not, try Kantor's previous book, My Guy, about meeting Mr. Right, then turn to this one if things start to sour.Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.