Hawk the Slayer
Among its many dubious distinctions,Hawk the Slayeris the only  sword-and-sorcery movie to feature Silly-String® as a medieval weapon! This  splendidly wretched British fantasy also boasts such magical wonders as an  automatic fast-action crossbow and an archer who shoots instantly replenished  arrows in rapid succession, never missing his target! At the lowest ebb of his  career, Jack Palance is gleefully hammy as Voltan, the disfigured (i.e.,  irredeemably evil) elder brother of Hawk (John Terry), who swears vengeance  after Voltan kills their father, kidnaps a virginal abbess (Annette Crosbie),  and threatens a nunnery for ransom. Add an ultracheesy '80s soundtrack (imagine  Rick Wakeman playing roller disco) and some respectable British thespians  (Patrick Magee, Roy Kinnear, Harry Andrews), and you've got a poor man'sWillowwith a dash ofKrull, laughably awful and surprisingly  entertaining. Fully aware of its own low-budget absurdity,Hawk the  Slayeris a Bad Movie classic, guaranteed to satisfy connoisseurs of  garbage. (Trivia note: Terry survived his titular heroics and was guest-starring  on the popular TV series24when this DVD was released in late 2002.)--Jeff Shannon