How to Change Someone You Love: Four Steps to Help You Help Them
Starred Review. In this self-help guide to helping, the founder of Intervention Specialists addresses the spouses, parents, and friends of addicts whose lives are out of control: "loved ones who know that change is critical and urgent." Having struggled with drugs and alcohol himself, Lamm began the difficult road back to sobriety when a friend organized an intervention; here, the deeply dedicated counselor presents a four-step method based in his experiences on both sides of the process. Showing how easy it is for well-meaning people to fall into the power trap of "nagging, prodding, manipulation or threats," Lamm details methods for successful intervention, using a group of friends and family to form an ongoing support group (a "circle of change") that will confront the abuser as a first step (with "words of encouragement, truth... and the warm protective embrace of love"). Lamm also addresses inevitable setbacks, and the stress faced by members of the support group, with practical methods, anecdotal illustrations and a comprehensive resource guide. As a thorough guide to helping substance abusers find help, this makes a valuable addition to the self-help shelves.