But Dad!: A Survival Guide for Single Fathers of Tween and Teen Daughters
Being a father to a tween or teenage daughter is hard, but it is far more difficult if you're going it alone. Whether rendered a one-man show by divorce, death, or deployment, single fathers face a slew of unique challenges when parenting adolescent girls. They must navigate issues like menstruation, female social development (including the great, dreaded D-word: Dating), the establishment of positive male role models, and more subtle issues, like negotiating new forms of father-daughter physical contact. In addition to these dad-and-daughter topics, the book also contains useful information on general parenting areas, such as fiscal responsibility and setting boundaries. Succinct, direct, and wide-ranging, this comprehensive volume never shies away from uncomfortable topics like anorexia and suicidal ideation. Gross (a single mother and lecturer on human relationships and sexuality at the University of Vermont) and Livingston (an RN) have done an excellent job of creating a thoughtful and readable parenting guide, without getting too preachy or maudlin. However, the authors warn that even if their guide works wonders, don't anticipate an overtly grateful daughter--rather, fathers should expect something along the lines of, "That book just looks stupid, Dad…Don't think you'll find anything in that book that will work on me!" Rest assured, dads--you will.(Publishers Weekly)Gross and Livingston are single mothers who have raised daughters. So what qualifies them to write a book about single fathers raising daughters? Their expertise in being female and knowing all about cramps, cliques, makeup, hormones, and eating disorders. Also the fact that so few men have deep knowledge of or are comfortable with those subjects. Speaking from experience as mothers of daughters and as a relationships counselor and a nurse, respectively, the authors are very accessible and matter-of-fact on the challenges a single father is likely to face raising daughters. They note that there are many books addressing mother-daughter issues but very few on father-daughter issues. They explain tween and teen developmental issues and offer strategies for dealing with the particular challenges of raising daughters, whether the father is divorced or widowed. They cover training bras, boyfriends, feminine hygiene, sex, drugs, and alcohol as well as the challenges of developing new routines and traditions as families are reconfigured. A helpful resource for men who may be embarrassed to ask other women for advice on how to raise their daughters.(Booklist)Whether through divorce, death, or adoption, we dads who find ourselves single-parenting young girls want to be the very best dads we can be. This no nonsense guide is like having a couple of older sisters—one a nurse and one a counselor—providing the keys to the mysterious and essential world of young and adolescent girls. From texting to tampons and bras to boundaries, these women have it covered. Your relationship with your daughter, and ultimately hers with the world, will be better for this easy and engaging read.(Tim Wile, MS, MHC, High School Guidance Director and single dad)This book, with its practical application and reader friendly guidance, will welcome a whole generation of fathers back into confident parent status with their daughters. Supportive and useful, this information will inspire and equip fathers with the tools they need to nurture (and even ENJOY!) their daughters on their often tricky paths to adulthood.(Robin Gould, M.A., M.F.T., Marriage and Family Therapist)Teenage girls can seem like aliens to fathers, and authors Gross and Livingston (Univ. of Vermont) here offer nuts-and-bolts help for everything from nurturing a relationship to choosing a maxi pad. Gearing their work toward the “single dad who may not have a woman in his life with whom to confer about issues...such as sex, friendships, boyfriends, alcohol and drugs, and personal hygiene,” the authors take a frank but encouraging approach. In general, they give good, solid advice on normal developmental changes in a reader-friendly format and include bullet lists that fathers can refer to with confidence, such as tips for stocking a bathroom.(Library Journal)