Shopping for Mr. Right: How to Choose the Right Guy and Get the Most Out of Him
Q & A with J.M. KearnsIs the new book,Shopping for Mr. Right, a rehash ofWhy Mr. Right Can't Find Youwith a shopping slant?No it isn't. Shoppingfills in the rest of the picture that I drew inWhy Mr. Right Can't Find You. We didn't call itWhy Mr. RightPart Two, because that title's a bit clunky, but that's really what it is.So what is the essence of each book?Well,Why Mr Rightgives you the foundation. It all comes down to this: you may think he isn't out there -- the worthy man who is looking for you -- but he is. A bunch of popular beliefs conspire to make you think he doesn't exist, or he doesn't wantyou, or you couldn't find him anyway. InWhy Mr. Right Can't Find YouI break down those myths, one by one, and suddenly you feel the curtain lifting and you can see him out there. That's what allows you to solve the problems he faces in searching for you. I show his actual situation to you in a way you may never have imagined it, and show you how to proactively reach out to him and meet him halfway.What about the new book? Why the shopping slant?When I looked at the areas I hadn't yet gotten to inWhy Mr Right, I realized they all call for the same proactive skill set we use in shopping. For example, when you shop for something difficult, you research the product -- in this case, men. And I wanted to explain more about what makes men tick, to demystify them.Or take online dating. When you're looking for a partner online, you're sitting there at your computer and you actually have the power to find the most important person in your life, if you just do it right. It's exactly like shopping for the right dress. Only it's not a material thing you're looking for, it's a human being -- so the process is more complicated, with more pitfalls. That's what I address in this book. InWhy Mr RightI overcome the resistance to online dating and lay out the basics -- including how to approach the first in-person meeting. InShoppingI go into very gritty detail about choosing a site and breaking through to the guy you want. What are the hidden resources of online dating, and how do you use them?A third, huge topic that is hardly ever dealt with is the Trial Period. Most dating books assume that once you meet a guy and feel the tremors of romance, you're there. Not true. You need a way of deciding whether this guy is the one you should commit to. Falling in love does not mean he's the right one. InShopping for Mr. RightI devote over fifty pages to this crucial process, where we "test love by trying love".