Wallbanger (The Cocktail Series)
Aiming for silly, sarcastic, witty, and hot, Clayton's clumsy contemporary, inexplicably popular in its 2012 digital edition, misses the mark and comes off as ridiculous, immature, and irritating. Caroline's first night in her new apartment is interrupted in the early hours by the moaning and thumping coming from the other side of the wall. Caroline has a great job as a designer; two best friends who are caricatures of disempowered, desperate young women obsessed with sex and drinking; and a KitchenAid mixer. Her only problem in life? O,  her missing orgasm (she named it, as she nicknames just about everything else, including her neighbor Wallbanger and his girlfriends, Spanx, Purina, and Giggler). Her quest for O involves endless attempted witticisms, text message transcriptions, and behavior so juvenile and beyond ridiculous  that even the characters admit they sound like fourth graders. Agent: Pamela Harty, Knight Agency. (Aug.)