The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon, Third Edition
These two books offer excellent perspectives on children,  parents, and culture. Psychologist Apter (The Confident Child)  argues that we've been hanging on to an idea that's all  wrong that when children finish high school or college and land  a job, they instantly become autonomous, responsible adults.  This "myth of maturity," insists Apter, is harming our kids.  These "thresholders" (ages 18-24) appear to function as adults  (whether in a job or in school), but in reality they are often  in turmoil, depressed, and overwhelmed by life. Apter claims  that though parents have been taught that they should end  support (emotional, financial, and practical) so that their  children can be independent and self-reliant, this is the wrong  approach. Each chapter addresses a theme (job stress, finances,  college, emotions) with stories of thresholders Apter has  interviewed followed by her advice to both parents and  thresholders on how to deal with the situation. Myth shatters  many common notions we've held for several decades, e.g., it  links eating disorders to separation anxiety and lays to rest  the idea that the l8-24s are confident, happy, and sexually  active beings. Like Elkind, Apter knows that kids grow up fast  (that is, they leave childhood) but that they aren't "grown up"  at all.  Elkind's classic The Hurried Child dates from 1981 and was  revised in 1988; now it appears in a third edition. The basic  premise remains the same: parents have pushed their children  emotionally and intellectually too far, too fast. Today's  parents think of their kids as Superkids, so competent and so  mature that they need adults very little. Why? Because parents,  who are building careers, blending families, or struggling as  single parents, have no time for child rearing. Having a  competent Superkid relieves these parents of guilt, but it  places too much stress on the children themselves. This new  edition is fully revised, with new sections on peer-group parent  pressure, i.e., the pressure parents feel to go along with the  Superkid image out of fear that their own children will lag  behind, and on organized sports, the Internet, and software for  infants. Like Apter's title, this powerful book is essential  reading. Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, PACopyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.