Learning to Have Fair Fights
Having a fair fight means you can have disagreements where you communicate in positive and responsible ways to work things out. You are able to express anger and other feelings in ways that don't create more problems. Angry emotions often block common sense and good judgment. The secret to dealing with conflict is not to feel threatened, but to look at all of the choices that may resolve the conflict fairly.At times we disagree with others. How we respond to conflicts is up to us and we have many choices. Too often we hear of people responding with violence. Violence is a quick response. It doesn't take thought or consider consequences. When people react violently, they often make the situation worse and there can be serious and even deadly results. There is no way to avoid conflicts. However, we can learn how to have what is called a fair fight, where we have a better chance of getting what we want and preventing emotional and physical violence.In fair fights you don't insult others or their feelings, or hurt anyone physically, including yourself. You don't have to physically fight or say mean things when you are mad. There are better ways to express feelings that help you feel better about yourself as you learn new ways to solve problems, and cooperate with others.A fair fight situation is not a win-lose situation where one person wins and the other loses. The goal is to work things out so that each person gets part of what it is she or he wants. In working out a compromise that everyone accepts, there is recognition that it is important to consider the needs of each person. Having a fair fight helps everyone to be in a better mood when they are finished, and helps to end the fight instead of carrying it with them. Encourage children to get help from adults they trust to solve conflicts. Sometimes a calm opinion from an outsider can help solve a conflict.