When Men Batter Women: New Insights into Ending Abusive Relationships
When Men Batter Women: New Insights into Ending Abusive Relationshipsby Neil Jacobson and John Gottman, is based on a decade of research with more than 200 couples in dangerous relationships. Jacobson and Gottman, professors at the University of Washington, use their work to shatter myths and shed new light on abusive relationships.They introduce two types of batterers: Cobras and Pit Bulls. The Cobras, the more severely violent of the two, strike swiftly and ferociously, always remaining in control and feeling entitled to whatever they want, whenever they want it. Pit Bulls are more likely to lose control, letting their emotions burn slowly until they explode in anger. The research is brought to life with stories of real couples such as George and Vicky. We see the few months of happiness in their marriage before George's Cobra-like outbursts begin, and witness Vicky's desire to make their failing relationship work.Research results and advice are woven throughout such accounts of how real people handled their situations. The authors address the many dangers of leaving an abusive spouse and the importance of forming a safety plan before doing so. Jacobson and Gottman do not come to optimistic conclusions about the ability to stop domestic violence or reform abusive men, but theyareoptimistic about the women. Their studies follow many women such as Vicky who ultimately left and began the difficult and courageous work of converting nightmares into dreams.--Amy Sessler