The Stories We Tell Ourselves: Mentalizing Tales of Dating and Marriage
"This is a remarkable book. The authors have managed to write a book that is, at one and the same time, a manual for mentalization-based treatment for couples, a lucid account of the basis for such treatment in the theory of mind, mentalization, and attachment theory literatures, and an integration of material from psychodynamic theory, attachment theory, evolutionary psychology, neuroscience, and cognitive psychology. In addition, the book is laced with very useful clinical vignettes and clinical wisdom about human nature and human relationships – all written in a lucid and accessible style. It is, indeed, a remarkable achievment and I enthusiastically recommend it to a wide range of readers, not just those specifcally interested in couples therapy." -Morris N. Eagle, Ph.D.ABPP, Professor Emeritus, Derner Institute for Advanced Psychological Studies; Distinguished Educator-in-Residence, California Lutheran University; Past President of the Division of Psychoanalysis, American Psychological Association"This remarkably novel and useful book offers a fascinating exploration of the nature of "love" that integrates findings from evolutionary biology, neuroscience, mentalization and attachment research and provides an innovative clinical model for conceptualizing and conducting treatment of couples and individuals. The role of evolutionary givens -nonconscious perception, rapid recognition, and reflexive categorization – that predispose all couples toward simple minded intuitions and intense feelings is clearly demonstrated by the authors’ clinical examples and case vignettes. I would high recommend this book for all interested in a lucid and user friendly model for helping individuals and couples find greater intimacy."- Dr. Regina Pally, Co-founder and Asst. Director, Center for Reflective Parenting at Center for Reflective Parenting