Most Important Year in a Woman's Life, The/The Most Important Year in a Man's Life
The Wolgemuths (he's an author and owner of a literary agency; she's an author) and the DeVries (he's a pastor and author; she assists him in premarital counseling and marriage retreats) offer here a two-in-one, flip-over-format volume aimed at newlywed Christian couples. Recognizing the success of their own marriages, the authors decided to share their experiences and advice with couples in that make-or-break first year of marriage. Both "books" have the same layout and cover topics such as money, sex and in-laws, but they cater, thematically and tonally, to the gender of their audience. The man's chapter on sex, for instance, playfully employs a baseball metaphor throughout: the male authors fondly recall boyhood discussions of "getting to first base," and offer suggestions for how husbands can please and love their wives without immediately going for the "home run." The woman's sex chapter, on the other hand, skips the metaphors, and instead gently explains that communication is key in the first year, and that the wife needs to teach her husband how to satisfy her. The authors consider "normals"-things one spouse grew up thinking was natural but might seem strange to the other (such as the belief that no house is complete without "a really big dog," the conviction that husbands should make more money than their wives, or the assumption that being late is fine). Addressing these "normals" help spouses understand why their partners behave the way they do, which in turn can ease conflicts. Boldly, the authors address the sometimes controversial Biblical principle of submission: "No relationship, in fact, can succeed without submission," they claim. It needs to happen voluntarily (neither spouse can force their partner to submit), and when both people actively and humbly work to yield to each other, "the marriage always wins." And the secret ingredient to successful marriages? Friendship: "it is only in the fields of friendship that the long-term passion and intimacy you long for can grow and flourish." Each book is neatly wrapped up with a "Meet in the Middle" section, which offers questions and exercises the husband and wife can work through together to continue to build upon the lessons they've just learned.Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc.