Geezerhood: What to expect from life now that you're as old as dirt (Truth about Life Humor Books)
The younger generation has such ugly haircuts (you're convinced they do it just to annoy you) that to get even you intentionally grow your nose hairs out and coif them into a bouffant.The neighbor's dog barks in the night, waking you up, so to shut it up you roll your wheelchair over to their yard and strangle it with your oxygen hose.You can sleep soundly and irritate other drivers on the road. . . all at the same time.You are more familiar with and would rather listen to the sound of doctors cracking open your chest cavity than to your grand children's music.After 2 years of intimate friendship and great conversation, you finally notice that the guys you have been sitting next to down at the park are really bronze gargoyles..