One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One
“[Sandler] delves deeply, thoughtfully, and often humorously into history, culture, politics, religion, race, economics, and of course, scientific research… Will she or won’t she have another? The beauty of her in-depth exploration is that the larger questions she poses make this one seem beside the point.” (Lori Gottlieb, The New York Times Book Review)“There is a welcome strain of argument undergirding this well-researched and lively book: Looking out for your own happiness is not inconsistent with being a good mother. This is a vital part of the conversation that’s not being discussed in the chatter surrounding middle-class parenting.” (Jessica Grose, The New Republic)“Sandler delivers a work of fierce reporting, tender storytelling, and clear-eyed cultural analysis.” (Susan Cain, author of Quiet)“Lauren Sandler’s book is eloquent, articulate, persuasive, and whip-smart. But its greatest virtue may be its restraint. This is, thank goodness, no faddish argument for only children.One and Onlyis something much wiser and much, much more important. It’s a plea to disregard our facile (and demonstrably incorrect) stereotypes about family size and accept a universal truth:one size does not fit all.” (Daniel Smith, New York Times bestselling author of Monkey Mind)“Sandler’s thought-provoking—and often surprising—analysis will fascinate anyone interested in how family circumstances shape our lives.” (Gretchen Rubin, New York Times bestselling author of The Happiness Project)“Sandler powerfully debunks generations of myths about the loneliness, selfishness, and general neuroticism of only children. Her book is a must-read both for adult only children and parents of ‘just’ one—and an eye-opener for anyone interested in a fresh look at the meaning of connectedness.” (Judith Warner, New York Times bestselling author of Perfect Madness)“Sandler weaves a gripping tale of motherhood and modernity, bypassing the mommy wars to expose the wider conditions in which parenting choices are made. She’s one of the most cogent commentators on feminism and family there is.” (Deborah Siegel, PhD, coeditor of Only Child)“This book, like everything Lauren Sandler writes, is lush and riveting. Only children or people who have only children will find comfort in these pages, and parents generally should read it to understand their own choices.” (Alissa Quart, author of Hothouse Kids)“With wit, warmth, and keen intelligence, Sandler skewers the myths about only children and their parents. If you’re tired of all the foolish generalizations, buy several copies of this book and hand them out at the playground!” (Liza Featherstone, author of Selling Women Short)“Onlies, parents of onlies, and readers still on the fence will find the book illuminating and affirming.” (Publishers Weekly)“[T]he author’s argument dispels stereotypes of ‘onlies’ and raises provocative questions about the American tendency toward prioritizing and even elevating parenthood over relationships, individuality, social networks and other aspects of adulthood, sometimes to the detriment of the family. Recommended as an alternative perspective on an often emotionally fraught discussion.”(Kirkus Reviews)