user: i'm writing a dungeons and dragons campaign for a couple of friends, given the description of the hellbound city of Dis, could you come up with a couple of cool activities my players could do once they get there? remember that having fun and seeing cool things is the main focus, no matter how serious or absurd a situation can get.

"The City of Dis is incredibly massive. The walls, buildings, and other structures clutter the immense black metropolis and glow at the edges like heated glass. The city is a broken maze of metal ramparts built into miles of steep hillsides and shattered towers framing an endless labyrinth of twisting alleyways.
The air is extremely hot and distorts with the heat as smoke rises from the streets themselves, with the occasional ash or ember drifting through the air.
Most of the buildings are built out of dark stone, climbing for many stories. The architecture is hooked to the corner as the monolithic deep reds, blacks, and grays, nothing belies an exterior that would seem to be welcoming to a traveling pack of people. At the center, visible everywhere in the city, is the Iron Tower, an impossibly colossal and unreachable tower of black iron and lead that stretches for hundreds of miles into the sky before vanishing into the dark, clouded expanse. The Iron Tower is the throne of the archdevil Dispater and stands ever-vigilant over his Iron City of Dis.
The city of Dis is always changing and being rebuilt in accordance with the decree of paranoid Dispater."

assistant: There are several activites in which tourist or business travellers often engaged when arriving to a city:
- Getting information on the city (landmarks and events) from locals. These individual can be officals of the city (guards or clerk of an information desk) and people living in the city (merchants, barkeeps and random pedestrians).
- Getting means of travel (mass transportation tickets or rented carts/horse analoges).
- Securing shelter if they plan to stay for longer period.
- If the crime rate is high in the city then they often hire locals for security and mediation purposes.

user: I was asking you about dungeons and dragons, not business tourism. Try again.

assistant: My apologies for the misunderstanding. Here a few activities more suitable for your D&D campaign than the local business tourism board.
- The PCs could attend a carnival to honor the winter solstice, featuring bats with flaming wings which are used to divine the fecundity of the city's herd of sheep. And don't forget to buy some cotton candy made of metal wire and feed it to baby dragons!
- The PCs may participate in the light-hearted city-wide competition to find the citizen who most resembles the archdevil Dispater. The first reward for the winner is their weight in onyx, the most prized precious stone in the city. The second surprise reward is the honor of performing the duties of archdevil Dispater at any event where he is likely to be assassinated.
- The local street urchins could teach the PCs the game of "Urk," where the players take turns to pickpocket the city guards. Whoever gets the biggest loot from a single encounter wins. Whoever gets caught loses. The game is called "Urk" because that's the sound the loser makes when the guards impale him with their sword.