Hey man, incredible piece.

Your deeply thought out discipline and equally well balanced enthusiasm is a model that instantly resonates with me. Thanks for sharing.

I'll share my thoughts, at your invitation, with a disclaimer: My fathering strategy is based largely on my lived experience - because it's what worked for me - and I'm hoping to repeat it with my daughters.

For context: I have 25 years of programming experience. Started when I was 11. My folks didn't even know how to turn a computer on, let alone enforce an educational playtime environment. But in my disk-hunting solace, I discovered that DOS 6.22 came pre-installed with this game called Gorillas, and I soon reverse engineered GORILLA.BAS in the pursuit of red bananas. Next thing I knew, I was implementing NeHe's OpenGL tuts, and by age 21, I was building database integration layers for a bunch of local companies - which over time evolved into the company I now run, which has provided my wife and I with a stable source of freedom-providing income for many years.

How is any of this relevant!?

We all want to be successful, and we all have personal definitions of success. I'm happy to be enjoying mine. And yeah, I'm a dad, so I want my girls to have that same level of success. Which in turn guides my fathering strategy.

When I first began reflecting on how to best raise them, I thought about my lived experience as a kid. I was lucky to discover my passion (Zero Cool had something to do with it), but what is important is that I discovered a passion. And then what is equally important is that I had tons of time to pursue my passion at my own pace. My folks were always right there - so I felt safe - but they never interrupted me. Then sometime in my teens I had a vision for a software company and the rest is history. Being exposed to successful and inspirational uncles from a young age helped form my world view extensively.

So back to your boy, and how I raise my girls (3 and 6): On a daily basis I expose them to as many different experiences as possible - be they arts, crafts, puzzles, and outdoor fitness - and crucially, I give them space - complete freedom - to pursue knowledge of the world around them at their own pace, based on wherever their interest leads them.

In other words my sole job is to create this safe, free, curiosity-breeding environment, and to guide them only when they have questions - ultimately allowing them the freedom to lead and teach themselves.

Oh and none of this disciplined routine stuff. This is all day. Every day. My wife and I take turns (mostly to give each other space to pursue our respective careers - she's a healthcare worker - 2020 was rough). We believe that our taking turns has the benefit that our girls get two completely different styles of parenting, which we think will help teach them to adapt. Of course we parent them together too - bath time is the most fun, and my rendition of Let it Snow is the stuff of legends.

So far we have learnt that our 3 year old is very peaceful. She's quite serious too - which I absolutely love (I've always been accused of looking too serious). She takes in her local environment with an exploration of every one of her senses, intently. Lately I've been exposing her to an abacus, which is proving to be a recurring interest. As for my 6 year old, she isn't as smart as her sister, but hearing her belt the lyrics to Frozen when I return home from my early morning row puts a joy in my step for the rest of the day that I suspect only other dads will understand. Does this mean performing is her passion? I reckon it's still too early to tell - but perhaps it is, so I take delight in listening to her sing in the car, and she takes delight in singing out the window as we drive past our eternally patient neighbours.

So may I ask you - how did you figure out that your boy's passion lies in programming? Or perhaps it would be more fair to ask, so that I may better understand your point of view - what is your goal with your parenting strategy?

If programming is indeed your boy's authentic passion, great! If not, well, you're obviously brilliant, so I have no doubt that you'll figure out his passion(s) one day. But I do think his having the freedom to play independently is critical.

With my girls, I often have to fight the urges I have to steer their learning in an effort to optimise their pursuit of each potential passion. But over time, I've become somewhat of a zen master at it. I now relish in the opportunity I have to witness them as they find themselves.

Heck, I hope it works!

Good luck with your boy. He does sound brilliant. I deeply respect the responsibility you mindfully bear.