'It depends on the group but in the past, without awareness of my In, I'd come out with a bang. Like, very open/friendly to all. Some of this was wanting acceptance.  then, 45 mins later, exhausted....|||i, too, saw 15. I also failed math ;)  sometimes we are good at seeing patterns not with numbers. But with events. Landmarks. Behaviors. Words.  i do love sudoku, though :D|||yet when we do so (become almost anything to,please you) and receive feedback it is not enough, or you are not willing to make similar commitments, then the grave sense of loss sets in.  ( ...|||Shame-filled confession: I have withdrawn, in the past, when I don't feel validated.  when I have, in my perception, given a lot. And then had someone take that so painfully for granted, I turn...|||hi, welcome. It's great you shared. Stepping out even to an Internet forum, is good for helping us feel more connected.  i do understand that hole or that indescribable longing. And of feeling...|||@Katethequick, I agree. My own faith experience in organized religion was positive. They are a kind Christian community. And I never witnessed the kind of terrible judging we sometimes see (the God...|||in general does pain trouble you? What do you fear may happen in the midst of a painful death? (Just curious if you are able to nugget that out more)  i fear that I won't know who I was. That I...|||i can identify with this feeling deeply. It is a lost feeling for me...nothing upon which to feel grounded, yet as you noted, we'd be living a lie to pretend faith in something that does not...|||Ah, I typed that wrong.  you forgiving THEM. NOt you forgiving you. I was noting that forgiving them isn't for their sake, it is for yours.  as for how it would free you, I cannot answer that,...|||first, you made me smile with the old guy happy quote (I do that, too). I also fear I am wrong. How do I know?!?  your parents. You know, we tend to really learn from how we were raised, especially...|||I was also raised Christian. For a while my faith was strong, but I began to question fallacies that troubled me (for example, how is it love to sacrifice one's son? How is it love when the story is...|||I'm married to a 5 who is possibly the most giving person I know. Very opposite of stingy--I'm stingier! :)|||The Riso book, Personality types is a very good introduction to the enneagram. It's comprehensive, but approachable, too.|||welcome, hi. This place IS an obsession. I've only been here a short while, but it's felt like finally settling into myself. Hope so for you too.|||Alright, my gut (I'm married to an INT) is you are a bit too warm and in touch with your F, within the context of this introduction, to be a T. As I told you in your other thread, I am not a typing...|||Soory, DaRick, I am hopeless at mbti typing in general :)|||Borrowing from music. Love it.  no, not from your place :). Visited and had some encounters with a few here and there. Two good friends are Australian, and they are dear and not blunt xD|||Ah bluntness. I do find that disconcerting myself about Aussies ;)  hi, and welcome!  i like your title for this thread. Reads like a funny newspaper headline. :proud:|||It would take a very special group of women for me to feel comfortable or content.  like Aquarian, I don't like groups in general, but groups of me are pretty comfy for me. I do well with my...|||Thank you for this. I appreciate the concrete road map.   I'm an INFJ in a creative, self-driven field. This part is difficult for me:      When preparing to share your thoughts, add logical...|||Hello! Congrats on those books...that's VERY cool! Hope you find nice connections & growth here :)|||well. Regardless of how dedicated they are, I think that's some of your introvert there. (Maybe the IN? I'm not an mbti sage by any means).  Not sure about you, but I can't do chitchat.  It darn near...|||yes, yes, me as well with the busy! Hahah.  and like you, I am also working on my judgement. It's an everyday practice that requires a lot of mindfulness.   My mind moves quickly. What helps me...|||Hi, and welcome. I am doing much the same as you. Seems like a good place to facilitate it :)|||man. I can be ruthless about this, too! Nice to know I am not the only one ;)|||I sed to play cards, like Solitaire. Soduku is nice, too. :)  agree with the Pinterest recommendations! Also theatlantic.com has interesting articles.|||Hello, hello! Welcome from another INFJ. It's very nice here. Full of corners! ;)|||(late to the party here). Yes. It's a tension in me, where I get very dismissive (nonempathetic) of others close to me, and it seems to come sometimes from a self protection mechanism. For those NOT...|||Superdooper's advice is pretty...super :)  Seriously, take it from this 35-year-old INFJ who faces an ID crisis after 10+ years of basing her self-worth on the opinions of others: it is no life to...|||Yay for Bon Jovi :)  here are some: whatever gets you through today - Radio Shake It Out - Florence and the Machine Not Afraid - Eminem Ashes - Embrace Eye of the Tiger - Survivor Don't Stop...|||I have become very cautious about sharing my feelings after receiving repeated programming that, well, feeling is Bad.   In the recent year, I've gotten pissed off about that. This notion that...|||Wy are we/you here? (In this proverbial world :)|||hello and welcome! I can understand the hesitancy (I'm beginning to think all INFJs can :)   it's nice here. Helps me feel a bit more sane. Hope it brings you some light, too.|||oh, OUCH! So basically you were chastised for their bullying...and then your mom didn't have your back?  that's very harsh. I'm sorry :( i got it bad in junior high, too. Beat up in the bathroom!...|||that's the truth! And I agree with your experience. Being around my INTx, plus age, has balanced out a lot of my F. And I used to test higher on the P, like almost 50/50. life can change us a bit :)|||Thanks bluekitdon. This is tough. In the portrait, tones of him there, but also in the intj portrait, too.  he isnt as focused on self-improvement. I believe his love for me has prompted him to...|||thanks. He is NOT remotely organized. He will follow a schedule when a commitment is made, and hates being late.but he procrastinates, too. He also dislikes changing tracks when important decisions...|||Thanks for putting up the poll! I really envy some of you (it seems to trend male a bit) who had the presence to lay the smack right back down, or at least make it clear not to screw with you. Good...|||thanks. This reminds me of how he'll say that for him, effort means shit. Results mean everything.|||LOL. *sigh*|||this exact question is why/where I get hung up. :)  He is very risk averse, and loves to thoroughly research before taking action. Also, I often have to motivate him with certain things. I think,...|||thank you for all the welcomes :) :)  I muse all day long, Zeit. Heehee.  I'm in an artistic/creative profession and get to work for myself, which is grand. When I'm not doing that, I lift...|||Hmmm I'm not seeing a way for me to mod this and add one. You could put in a poll separately, or I will later when on my normal computer :)|||thank you! My certainty about the mbti is pretty strong, though I think a lot of growth in recent years could affect things.  the enneagram, not so much. Very new to me, and while I identify with...|||I'm sorry. And I understand.|||to be blunt, choosing sex with other women on the phone, and online, and later on, porn, and essentially neglecting any of my sexual advanced. (turning me down, too tired, not in the mood, etc). At...|||hello Graficcha and thank you, yes, I've come into much empathy about this lately, and as I noted, it's why I'm here.    In my defense, my INTP has hurt me, over numerous years, on issues of sex...|||i learned this the hard way. It has made my INTP shut down pretty badly in the past. So I'm here now to try and show up differently and with more understanding. Thank you.|||That makes a lot of damn sense. It's like chicken and egg.  my need for validation, stemming from all the peer BS, has pretty much messed up my adult romantic relationships.    i can relate....|||I was, from about age 9 til 15. It was pretty bad, and the need for validation just set me right up as a target.  anyone else?'