'No, that it not how I view boundaries. I don't (or rather, do my best not to) change people or control them. I do think of it in a positive light of self-worth and like that part of your explanation....|||It's not punishment, it's a consequence.  We may be approaching this from the opposite ends of the spectrum. I know my cult situation was extreme, but I saw women waste years in relationships by...|||This. ^^^ I tried being nice for a long time and it just didn't work.|||HA! :laughing:  Liking people has nothing to do with it. I do it because it helps me be less abrasive so I get along better with people which makes my life more   efficient.   Less drama...|||It's not that I see emotions/stories as useless. I don't understand them. :confused: They're like some strange language that I don't process.   Hence why (for me) I'm not sure if it's an ISTJ thing...|||It drains me. Both of my parents are the black sheep of their families, so no matter what I do/don't do, being their child means that I'm never good enough.   I prefer to hang out with my immediate...|||Yes, I can relate. When I went to church I especially hated random stories about anonymous people that were supposed to support the message of the sermons. I always wondered what point it had to...|||I wish my boss wasn't my boss. It's not that he's a bad guy at all.   He's a GREAT guy. I don't want to get friendly/chummy because I think it's inappropriate with my job situation but I think he'd...|||Find books on body language and practice faking emotions. Learn how to listen to people, even if you don't care. Pauses, sympathy nods, caring hugs, etc, can ALL be faked.    It's a good skill to...|||I...um.....er.....eh.....   *gulps* :unsure:   make silly dances at my coworkers....  and they tell me the people in white coats coming to get me. :frustrating:|||My family (extended family included) has a bad habit of not resolving agreements, holding grudges for years, barely speaking because of these grudges, and then playing...|||I grew up fundamentalist. (Read more about it here.)   I'm still a Christian but I'm also doing a lot of detoxing from growing up in a cult. Other Christians, hymns, sermons, etc. trigger me, so...|||Good plan!!! Thanks. :happy:|||*coming late to the thread*  I work in food service. I've heard all my life how it sucks and is horrible, but it doesn't bother me like I thought it would.   Some random things that have helped...|||I'm back after being really busy with real-life stuff lately.   So many threads... how to catch up with them (is it even possible???)..... :confused: :shocked:|||Actually, no. I grew up in a cult, remember? :dry: The worst bitch that I've ever met was a controlling mother who sabotaged all her daughter's friendships whenever she felt threatened by someone she...|||To me, this is not ISTJ behavior as much as narcissistic jerk behavior.  Really controlling men isolate their wives/girlfriends from their friends/family. It's not an obvious I forbid you to see...|||Sometimes with friends that's just what you gotta do. My best friend and I met our first day of college and have been friends for 7 years. Our opinions can be extreme opposites and honestly we have...|||I've gone to old teachers with my problems. It was actually pretty helpful, especially when I wrote the dreams down and reread them a year later. Their assessment and advice was right on the money. ...|||My parents are the same way. My Mom had a Bronco II that she drove until it was only running on 2 out of 4 cylinders and it was making grinding noises. After a while she said, If this was a REAL...|||Rant: I've been trying to learn mindfulness after sleepyhead 's suggestion in a thread on the 5 subforum.   So, I'm supposed to lay on my back and listen to the guided meditation for 35 minutes. I...|||If Qadosh 's drink isn't falling out of his glass, does that mean we're the ones that are upside down? :shocked:|||kinesthetic -8 Visual -4 Auditory -4  I'm more visual than auditory, not sure why they came out even.|||Today was my last day working in the cafe and V. (an old guy that's real sweet who keeps joking about finding me a man to marry me off to) was crying because he'll miss me and I'm a good kid.  ...|||No, I don't think you're immature and I'm sorry if it came off that way. I was talking about stupid people in general.|||Phobias I can understand. I have really bad vertigo and don't even like to stand on chairs, so I know it's not rational or something that can be controlled.   But immature Kill it just because...|||My 2 cents....  Stereotypical touchy-feelery subjects can be intensely technical. I got a B.A. in Music and the upper level music classes were the most difficult analytical classes I've ever had....|||snowbell,  No, not usually. I just don't like killing animals unless absolutely necessary. I try to be knowledgeable about snakes, spiders and insects too so that I don't kill something just...|||That test is a joke. My Dad is an EXTREME narcissist who almost (but not quite) believes he's the best thing since sliced bread and he'll never admit to any of those negative traits that the test...|||WARNING: SERIOUS POST  Rant: I wish my family wasn't so @#$###@# dysfuntional. My step-grandmother's cancer came back in her liver. She's stopping all chemo and is just gonna let things take their...|||Well... I'm the ripe old age of 26 so take my advice with whatever grain of salt you want. :tongue:  I realized earlier this year that I'm completely oblivious to my blind spots. (I can be a bit of...|||I haven't seen those.   *adds them to watch list*    I'd count them as sci-fi, especially since a lot of writers use sci-fi as a vehicle for social commentary (rather like how the Romulans are...|||It was thanksgiving break and I forgot that everyone was leaving and that the campus closed early. I commuted and my ride home wasn't coming until 10pm that evening. So, I got some books from the...|||Niss' post had some good ideas. My own 2 cents....  Real emotional intimacy takes time, especially for us ISTJ's. I have a conversation course that I've been doing which has similar suggestions to...|||Yes, it borders on fantasy. The technology is often just thrown in with no explanation of culture, background, or schematic, making it more like magic. The classic seasons have far more techno-geek...|||Yes, I love sci-fi/fantasy (sometimes there's a LOT of overlap, particularly with Doctor Who).|||*warning* *warning* *touchy feelery picture alert*  Quarantine in progress. All remaining ISTJs will be checked for contamination.|||I was driving to work yesterday, minding my own business, driving safely and STILL almost totaled the car because a   BEAR  ran across the highway. Thankfully I didn't panic and just slam on my...|||Actually, making stupid complaints and laughing at myself for being silly helps me deal with the hard stuff. IRL I'm intensely private and don't like to discuss my problems, not even with my friends....|||I would take your parents' opinion with a grain of salt. Family members can sometimes be too close to judge whole personalities objectively. My INTJ sister and my still-untyped mother were ALWAYS...|||My sister is an INTJ. We have NEVER gotten along. She has the same attitude that DaisyChain mentioned where she'll do anything for her save-the-world-causes but you'd better crawl off somewhere and...|||Rant: I watch too much TV. :unsure: :crying: :sad:  And how do I know this, you ask?   I had a job interview today. One of the interviewers could have been Anthony Hopkins' brother. He had the...|||It's not, at least for me. I've heard of metronomes (and other rhythm devices) being used for hypnosis, but I'm a musician so plain-jane clicking/beeping sounds sound very bleh to me.   And good...|||The way I do it, I don't have to focus. I use a metronome and breathe in/out for counts that aren't ever longer than 5. I have a circle of beads (sorter like a rosary) and one bead = one breathing...|||I did the same thing. :laughing:  The relief of knowing that I wasn't a crazy loon was incredible.|||Have you tried meditating before going to sleep? Especially yoga breathing exercises that focus on the breath?  They help me when I have extreme insomnia. My brain may be going a...|||No, the really truncated version would be to say you're perfect. :wink: Which I tell people constantly. :proud:  Other person: Why do you do that? Me: Because I'm perfect. Other person: But...|||Rhee 's snails made me think about all the small, squishy, slimy creatures in the yard...  And now there's at least a dozen slugs that slide onto the deck every night and when I take the dog out...|||This is going to sound really hokey, but it's what's helped me in being over-sensitive to criticism (which I am, despite being an ISTJ robot).   Defining a Problem  My Problem is  This sounds...|||No, I keep them bunched together in alphabetical order and when something gets done I just flip the card over so the blank side is facing up. In the morning I reset it and put all the cards facing...'