'You're emotionally invested in a man who is not emotionally invested in you. He's made it clear he doesn't want your help or your company. This isn't an INFP thing, it's a basic human communication...|||You've never met him and you don't know him at all. He could be a 15 year old kid having fun. Or a married man. Or anything. You KNOW literally nothing about this man other than the persona he's...|||You're not soulmates. You're two lonely people who found an emotional intimacy with each other to get through some tough times. You don't really love this woman - if you did you'd leave her the hell...|||Hmm, well, if this were me (and I'm an INFP/INFJ), I would want to see a serious commitment from the man to stop doing the thing that was bothering me so much. Like, counseling or working with a...|||Whoops, I accidentally mis-posted this on the NF forum, not here. OK, INFP's, help me out!  I've been with a wonderful, caring INFJ man for a couple of months after being single (by choice) for...|||I've been with a wonderful, caring INFJ man for a couple of months after being single (by choice) for several years. We're crazy about each other, and he told me he loved me a couple days ago. I love...|||since this thread got revived I feel I should give an update. He told me he loved me a few days ago. It's sooo early. I'm there too, but I'm absolutely terrified of it. I feel like this guy could...|||I was never a snuggly person at all until I met my current boyfriend, and we are total snugglers. We sleep all tangled up in each other and wake up that way. We are CONSTANTLY holding each other,...|||so the boyfriend and I are both INFs (he's a J, I lean P but am close on it).   I don't know that I've ever dated another N before but we're totally in each other's head to a level that's almost...|||In my experience, usually when a guy decides out of nowhere that he wants to break up, he's met someone else. If there are no other problems in the relationship, he's usually content to just go...|||Thanks guys. He's said a few things that lead me to believe he is definitely thinking long term. I just get worried. I could easily fall in love with this man. Easily.|||oh I definitely don't take him for granted. I let him know all the time how happy he makes me, and I do nice things for him. Actually, we're kind of falling over each other trying to be good to the...|||I need to gush a bit.   I'm a couple months into a relationship with an INFJ and it's the most incredible experience. He's amazing - sweet, dependable, brilliant, quirky, hilarious. He calls when...|||what makes you say that? and how do I get him to relax?|||OK, so here's what I find strange. EVERY time I see him, for the first hour or so he seems nervous/shy/closed off, like it's our first date again.  But then it's like he remembers that he knows me...|||Oh man, the gifts - he's ridiculous with them. Nothing expensive, but REALLY sweet and funny and quirky. He's brilliant at finding things I like.   Sigh.|||Thanks guys, this is helpful.  Do I need to worry about coming on too strong? I'm trying to take things really slowly, and I get the sense he is too, but dammit I'd really like to just text him and...|||Ha! So what do I DO?|||ha, funny you say that because he insists on paying for everything. And giving me really thoughtful, sweet gifts. He's so good to me, I keep wondering what the catch is. I've never dated anyone who...|||What tips do you have for an INFP/J dating an INFJ? This guy is so wonderful, and I really want to make him happy.|||Thanks guys. He's honestly the sweetest guy I've ever dated - he's so into me and really cares about making me happy. I'm not used to any of it and I keep feeling like there has to be a catch.  I'll...|||Do INFJs typically move VERY slowly in terms of physical intimacy? I've been dating an INFJ guy and after several dates we're still at the cuddling/kissing phase. I'm used to the guy moving things...|||I think because we are introspective. And we've always felt a little out of place wherever we are, so we probably started trying to figure out what's wrong with us and landed here.|||Hi Retrini - how are you feeling now?  I just saw this post and wanted to come in and give you a hug.  What's hard for me with depression is that my mind plays tricks on me.  I start thinking...|||thank you all for your replies...I'm working on it.|||my school had gifted programs from 4th grade to 8th grade.  It was based entirely on IQ tests - I think it's kids with 130 and above.|||I think this is a big part of my procrastination. I'm not motivated to do anything unless it's a challenge, and putting things off to the last minute makes them challenging.|||Thanks John, that is helpful.  I just wonder though if I SHOULD forget.  It's hard to get over the fact that I say and do dumb things.|||The big thing I need to work on is to not worry so much that everyone is judging me, and try to stop worrying about what people think.  How do I stop this? I have a constant tape in my head of...|||yup, me too!|||Like, having been in the gifted programs at school?  I've always wondered if there's a high correlation. And with that a correlation to our social awkwardness.|||Like, the post-college crowd...  Do you have any advice for the young'uns around here?  I've noticed a lot of high school aged kids and I feel like there's so much I wish I had known at that age. ...|||I've been in leadership positions in the past.  There are parts I really enjoy - mentoring younger people, helping out my team, etc.  Good leaders know that the key is taking care of your team, not...|||been there, done that, got the t-shirt.  Look, your parents aren't perfect. Probably far from it.  They screw up royally and probably screw you up royally, because unless they're also INFPs you...|||my recommendation: volunteer work.  Helping others reminds you that you have some value. A lot of value. And that you've made someone else's day a little better.  Also, try to make it a goal...|||insincere people.  They're the worst.   For god's sake, just be sincere.  Don't patronize, placate, or condescend to me. If you want to say something, say it.|||yeah...I'm 30 now. This is true.  This stuff does stop.  Most people by this age have filtered out into their own groups.|||crazy weird spacey uptight (at work only) anxious odd awful ditzy strong personality|||don't do it.  The military will crush your spirit. It's not the place for individualistic free thinkers - they're the ones who they DON'T want. Yes, at the highest levels there are some really...|||the only thing defective in that conversation is the person who said that.  Seriously - it reflects far more on the other person than it does on you. You may have your quirks and shortcomings,...|||one thing that sort of helps me (in addition to Vitamin D, 5-HTP, Fish oil, regular exercise, and sunshine) is to tell myself that this ISN'T real.  It's a figment of my imagination.  As in, the...|||you may be suffering seasonal depression.  I have terrible, terrible seasonal affective disorder. I'm 30 years old and I'm only just now realizing that this has probably affected me most of my...|||I'm very logical.  I can win just about any logic-based debate. I just don't LIKE to because I don't like the tension :D|||were any of you other INFPs absolutely tormented in school growing up?  I never fit with anyone - wasn't until college that I started to feel like I belonged anywhere.  I see some of these people...|||you know I think it's just harder to make friends when you get older (I'm 29).  A lot of my old friends have settled down and gotten married, and unless I'm meeting people at work it's kind of hard...|||how old are you?|||Oh I love my creature comforts. Give me a perfectly grilled ribeye and a nice glass of wine, a cashmere scarf, and i'm a happy girl.|||I posted this once in the INFP forum and got some great answers. I'm curious about the other NFs.  My humor can be very dark, and I use a lot of hyperbole. really dramatic hyperbole.  Most people...|||oh this is me in a nutshell so much it's eerie.  I actually had a period of life where I seemed to have shut off the inner critic and was happy, and then I lost it and now I look back and think those...|||yeah you can get 5-HTP at drugstores. And I do think I have a touch of SAD - I even got one of those light boxes to sit in front of and try to get more sunshine.  But there's still something deep...'