'Thanks Seeker and Gilly. You're both so encouraging. I'm most likely going to ask him out.  I'm not sure, but when he did the MBTI his ENF scores were less than 5% over it was such a negligible...|||:)  So I am thinking of asking him out. I've never asked a single guy out in my life, ever. Is that a bit much for en ENFJ to bear? He's not been in touch since a little convo I struck up with him,...|||Thanks Seeker for being so unbelievably empathetic and patient with me :) Kindred spirits. Yes it's hard. I did go out yesterday and do several things on my own to keep myself occupied but found...|||I see. From your experience, do they disappear by not referencing the next date but yet still maintain in some form of contact (e.g. if you say hello, you still have a semblance of a convo going)...|||Hey Seeker,  Out of curiosity: as an ENFJ, if you somehow think that there's no way of moving things forward in a situation like this or if you're spooked, are you likely to just be open about that...|||Thanks again Seeker :)  I decided to honour myself by doing what I *think* I would normally have done. Still I feel all anxious inside haha. But at least stayed true to myself... Thank you for...|||Okay. So update: he asked me how to delete profile off the dating site we met. He said he'd lost interest in ages ago. I joke that we won't be able to communicate anymore and he makes a single sad...|||That was very insightful Seeker, thank you!! :)|||I guess I wonder if he's freaking out because he feels that it might have been too much too soon and he is unsure whether we can maintain that same level of intimacy moving forward. If he's...|||<3 thanks Seeker. You are so right. I'm going to try... And it may last me about till about the next meal, when I start to wonder if I should reach out haha.  Funny thing is i know this fella is...|||Thanks guys, you've all be really great. I feel so comforted and grateful that there are a bunch of people who understand and empathise and who have such great insight to things like this haha. Maybe...|||Definitely share this preoccupation style. I am trying, and I have improved heaps from when I was younger (imagine how BAD i truly must have been then haha). I do have a question though with #6. I...|||This post is so true - I think you're spot on with the idealising and getting caught up in our own heads.  I do wonder though if he did pull back because the cuddling was a bit much on a first...|||Thanks a lot!  I do feel the same about your suggestion to wait a while to see if he texts first, so I kind of sat out initiating any form of response yesterday. Although I find it weird because...|||Great insight Gilly. Thanks for helping to shed light! Haha I am trying to be myself as much as possible, but I find myself for the first time being way more paralysed with shyness than I am used to....|||Also, how likely is an ENFJ male going to be cuddly and nice and then suddenly lose interest? They seem to be friendly types, but he seemed to have taken it slow to ask me out. He also seems to be...|||Okay so update: have just gone and come back. Obviously church is not a very interactive activity, and I felt really awkward and shy. We both arrived on time and so didn't have chance to interact too...|||Hehe. Thanks Gilly! <3  I worry about coming on too strong, given that we have both left relationships a few months ago.   Some side questions though... Do ENFJ males get put off by that? Think...|||Ha thanks for the reply Gilly. Yeah you're right it's easier said than done! The real NFP in me is racing up those heartbeats to 9000 and all the worst-case scenario type thoughts into hyper mode. ...|||So I went for a first date with an ENFJ. We went to dinner, to a bar for a drink, then back to his place for a film where he just became super cuddly. We had a chat on the date about how he feels he...|||Hi there,  I am still fairly new to exploring the MBTI. I was wondering how a person who is typed as ENFJ yet with extremely borderline ENF traits will differ from an ENFJ? Just seems like a crazy...|||I suppose that's all fair and true. We are physically apart though, living in different cities... So that's tough.|||Hi SeeGreen :)  1) Yeah I realised later on... I mean we are grown adults and yet it took him forever. I actually felt like I gave him a few opportunities before he finally took the plunge (eg....|||Thanks everyone.  Well... After a super long time, and countless dates (I don't know how many, it felt like 10). He FINALLY kissed me. FINALLY!!! And then he proceeded to say we were both really...|||So update: we had a talk the other night. In fact our dinner date became a 7-hour hangout session. We talked about how I view omissions as lying, and how I usually feel awkward asking the pointed the...|||YES! And I start to feel awkward around the INTJ that I like because he starts texting me all these ridiculously flirty things. So when shall the twain ever meet!!?   All advice welcome.|||Agreed - except I think I'm just physically incapable of flirting with any guy I like. I become the most boring most quiet person ever and it tears me up inside because I keep trying to break the...|||I do wonder if INTJs appreciate the goofiness... The one I like called me out on a particularly bad joke. But I wasn't as interested in him then, so I said he'll just have to make do with it because...|||Oh Master, what would you recommend as a tactic for an INTJ man then? We seem to have hit it off so well on our first date, but we've not been able to meet for a couple months due to the distance......|||Sure. That makes sense. How about a situation where all we've had is one date? I did hug him goodbye, eventually. I'll meet him in the next couple of weeks for a few days, but that's not nearly...|||Interesting. Yeah this reminds me of a point I contemplated a while ago - of course our IRL interactions so far have been fairly limited so I have no way of ascertaining this till later... But yeah....|||Yeah, I've definitely noticed that INTJs generally don't mind being asked direct questions because he himself is completely forward when asking me about my life, to the point that I feel interrogated...|||Thanks for this :)  I guess ENFPs sometimes have a problem with confrontation. This is definitely an ENFP trait of mine that remains undeveloped till today. In this case, because I'm not yet as...|||You're right. Reminds me of a time when he took like a whole freaking day to reply, for days on end. At this point his texts seemed to be petering out and getting less intense (previously we had...|||This is actually weird. Because I understand 100% about how calling someone out on sharing their emotions is embarrassing. In fact I feel the embarrassment acutely myself when called out... And I'm...|||Hehe. Everything you just said here is SO ME. I guess that's why I feel such deep-seated feelings of... confusion. But I also realise just because I have such a singular view of relationships doesn't...|||Aw thank you :)  Question - as a feeler, do you struggle or have you ever struggled in instances similar to this?|||Aw thank you :)  Question - as a feeler, do you struggle or have you ever struggled in instances similar to this?|||I must be a very strange ENFP. Apart from the bit about the list containing 4 people, I completely get what you mean. I feel things so deeply (ENFP, so ofc this happens), but yet if nature/nurture...|||Ah. No, I doubt my INTJ has a need to be constantly on the prowl. In fact, I think he would find that tiring. His last 2 serious relationships all lasted between 2 to 4 years... I don't know if his...|||Yes, your suggestion definitely seems plausible and logical. I guess that was what I was going to do but I freaked a bit for 2 reasons:  1. the fact that other friends would tag HER in photos of...|||I dig that the guy is into tech stuff, but my strengths lie with the social sciences... So it's not that I'm not interested, it's more like I'd love to listen but I don't necessarily follow past a...|||Sorry, didn't mean to offend. Substance over form - I definitely find most INTJs to be honest and straightforward. Part of this was to find out if my perception is true, hence the title... Because I...|||Yes true... Like I said it's not a world I am accustomed to, so I had to ask. I guess I always just viewed it as... Well if someone is a fwb then keep it that way, I would be happy hanging but no...|||Holy crap. My INTJ has the same dog. You're not him....... Surely.  And nope, not afraid. I take some getting used to with new pets, but I love dogs...|||Haha. Freudian double entendre... I see what you did there!    As an ENFP, being assertive with people can sometimes be difficult insofar as it requires elements of confrontation. What do you...|||Yup! That was totally what I thought. If that's the case, then I'm OK with it.  I just... (Perhaps because I am this way a little) don't understand how you can sleep with someone AND hang out with...|||Eerily, that dog in your avatar - do you happen to own one like that? Because... Well, because.|||Oh I just looked it up briefly. Unfortunately I don't know him SO well that I can categorically say he's a 7, although I can see how what I know of him may be interpreted as a 7... What would the...|||Hahaha. What the... You're truly a crock of shit. Hilarious shit. Thanks for the tip, let me try that line on him after I question where his ass has been. If it doesn't work I'll consider being in...'