Yeah, it makes sense and that's what u gave been intuiting about him too. As an INFJ, I used to be a lot like the way you describe until I turned 30. I've been working on anxiety and self esteem a...|||And by the way he is INFP. He took the test and told me so.|||6 days no contact on his part today. I am starting to think more and more that this guy is a wimp and am losing respect for him. Alas, they always come back later.|||Also, yes I am a bit dominant but I am also 31 and he is 25. Not to sound conceited but I am also very good looking.|||* not reply, not Reynolds|||I did actually tell him that I care for him deeply and that I am not afraid to show my emotions but that his lack of communication makes me think that he does not want to talk to me and if this is...|||I felt like he deserved to know how I feel and what I expect. Not everything can be on his terms. If he can't provide a side answer, he clearly has other problems besides social anxiety|||I sent him an email explaining to him that I felt he did not want to talk to me and that he is basically taking me for granted. Of course it was worded nicely and I said if he did not want to talk to...|||Yes, I understand it all but if he has already slept with me three times, opened up to me and such, why is he still anxious? He had no trouble seducing me.|||If he was able to seduce me and initiate, he should not be blowing hot and cold, right?|||I think I may be played because he seems hot and cold and it takes him forever to answer my texts......granted he does this with those closest to him but still.|||I have known this guy for 7 months now. When we first met, he pursued me, aided by some alcohol. We slept together three times and then he went abroad. We have been corresponding for several months...|||I have recently (age 33) been diagnosed with ADHD, a condition which I've had since I was a child but did not know what it was until now. Since my nervous breakdown at age 21 I have been limerent or...|||It's mostly age related and will pass with time. I used to be the same when I was a teenager/early 20s. It may be that you are rejection sensitive or a highly sensitive person. At least you have the...|||Perhaps they take the edge off. Otherwise I've been told I come off as intimidating.|||Apparently they are, but they tend to blunt my own emotions. Maybe that's what people like? The more unemotional the better?|||May I ask how old you are?|||Sad truth. So the secret to getting a man to stay is to be aloof and not give a damn? Maybe that's what the SSRIs are doing to me. Sad because I am naturally caring.|||Yep, that's it. I feel the same way....detached. I guess it does make me less emotionally needy but we have been taught that men like women to be emotional, not aloof. It seems that the more aloof...|||Haha, no I don't have a screw loose but people have told me that I intimidate them sometimes.|||I've seen this phenomenon five years apart (one in 2011 and now in 2015-2016).  I am naturally love addicted and rejection sensitive and when I take an SSRI it blunts my emotions and I can't feel...|||Thanks. Yes, I've recently started working on these very things, through online research and even posting on forums like this. I can't afford therapy and it may not even be helpful. But I will...|||Oh, no, I have never taken SSRis or any other medications for anxiety. 5-htp worked for me at 100 mls, and passionflower calmed me down a lot.  Now that I think about it, many of these herbs have...|||I am going to start taking herbal supplements again. In the past I was helped by a combination of valerian/St. John's Wort and by 100mls of 5-htp. Haven't taken them in years but maybe, just maybe...|||You are right. The thing is that after my dad's death, the professor took advantage of my depression and I fell for him. We were involved for a year but at the same time he was seeing a 49-year-old...|||Now that I think about it, I was probably co-dependent and limerent since my teens. But things got worse after dad's death.    The thing is that my co-dependency manifests in anxiety when I don't...|||Awww, thank you for your encouraging words.  I didn't realize until a few months ago that this whole thing started after my dad passed away four years ago. And the catalyst was my dating...|||Working on self-confidence for the past six months (meditations and subliminal messages) and basically devaluing romance and trying to fall in love with myself. I am also trying to do new things...|||Myself I guess. Or life in general.|||Have you dealt with codependency in your love life? Like being addicted to love and the idea of having someone rescue you? If so, how and when did you overcome it?  I am 33 and have been struggling...|||<sigh> story of my dating life.....men taking me for granted, me losing interest, and them coming back, with me no longer wanting them.   He did say in his last message to excuse his late replies,...|||Thank you everyone for your replies.  I guess it's time to let go of him. Our messages are getting longer and more elaborate but now it takes him a week to reply. He admitted he was depressed but...|||He replied recently and mentioned that a) he is depressed and stressed and b) he is not totally over his ex (they broke up 6 months ago). His emotional openness is touching, as is his eagerness...|||OK, so in my last message to him I mentioned chatting on Skype. I have not head back from him and he has been on Skype for the entire day. I get the feeling this guy enjoys being chased! I am not...|||For some reason I think that no matter what I do with him right now, he will come back later. I know him long enough by now to notice that his internal processing takes time (such as him finally...|||See the thing is that if this was any other guy I was dating, I would have seen the red flag (taking too long to communicate) and moved on. But knowing he is like this with close friends has me...|||Sometimes it feels like INFPs take people for granted when they don't communicate. In his case, he goes through phases. His friends will bring something up on his FB wall and he will reply days later...|||Yeah, there are a few times when he will reply later in the day or the day after. But in general, his messages are usually emotional (he was recently telling me how he has lost his desire for the...|||OK, I have my doubts today. He usually takes 4-5 days to reply to messages I initiate....and it's been like this pretty much from the beginning. I know he is like this with others, but still, we have...|||So do you think about the other person a lot in-between replies? Especially if the woman takes the initiative?|||Yes!  So now we know that most INFP men expect the women to take the lead.|||Yeah, I used to be the initiator in my past relationships and they worked out better than when I became passive because dating advice says women should not contact men in order to appear more...|||Awww, that's actually kind of sweet. Yes, he does put a lot of thought into whatever he does. He really has a beautiful soul.    Yes, that's what I've been doing. I've been very vulnerable with...|||Yes, I agree. And what is interesting with him is that he will do things that are important to me, but it will take him a while and by that time I will have forgotten about it.  For example, in...|||Why? That's not unheard of. He is dominant and romantic in bed but not dominant in daily interactions and decision-making. But then again, he is Scandinavian.|||He is only dominant in bed, which is fine with me! :)|||Hmmm, OK guys, I've been thinking about this a lot and I have come to the conclusion that he is a feminine energy man. Which is fine with me because in the past I had the most success when I was more...|||OK, so he has sent a long message today. He admits that he is kind of depressed and has no motivation to finish his degree. Also his dog is very ill, but he spends most of his day on the computer in...|||What's interesting is that he has times when he can be very communicative, such as over the holidays. Since January 10, after our one hour conversation on Skype, he has pulled back. I see other...|||I don't know. I still feel like he is not interested enough (and will try harder once I let him go.....cause men want what they can't have). I mean, how do INFPs deal with people they are not...