'Sounds like she dodged a bullet.|||I am the oldest of five, and I was most definitely parentified. Harming Your Child by Making Him Your Parent | World of Psychology  The upside is that fulfilling the role of caregiver helped me...|||FWIW, my brother is special ops -- as in Black Hawk Down shit -- and he says he was chosen for this training in part becuase he is INFJ. That is, his type is seen as an advantage. When I asked him...|||I'm 48, and I too wish there were more participants in my age-range. But I have to had it to the kids, this forum is pretty good at self policing, remaining civil, on topic, relatively clean, etc.,...|||I'm a freelance writer and editor, I work mostly with associations. The health care issue might force me back into captivity though. :(|||Sadly, it took me years and years to get to the point where I like myself. Actually, MBTI was a big help in that regard, well that and about five years of therapy. ;-) I spent so many years beating...|||I'm 48 and I can't get enough of reading. Literally, I can finish a book in a day.  I find I can't watch many movies or much TV, unless I'm doing something else, they just don't keep me engaged....|||From what I understand, there are certain professions that draw INFJs, such as therapists and writers. Perhaps forums for those professions or events, such as author readings. I would imagine a lot...|||What are you using as bait?|||Slightly off topic, but I've noticed lately a number of people IRL, who I would consider to be very extroverted, insist they are introverted. Almost as if that would be better. Which puzzles me,...|||I would posit that there is a spectrum when it comes to monogamy vs what is natural or biological. One one end might be totally monogamous and while the other is nympho, most people are gonna...|||I think Poly-whatever makes sense like communism makes sense. Good on paper, but given the nature of humanity, fraught with complications in its actual implementation.  Seriously, there would have...|||@Caterpillar Caterpillar: You've nailed it. But I'd like to add another INFJ asset: Many INFJs are good with words, which makes mastering the double entendre easy. I've found the double entendre to...|||Sigh. My guess is that you are Mr Right Now. She loves the attention and having someone to hang out with. But in her heart, she is seeking the boom-boom, sweep-me-off-my-feet, can't-wait-to-see-you...|||I love you. Unless I REALLY mean it.|||I've dated men who I thought I should date because they were what I've been taught to think was right. And I've dated men who I thought were extremely hot (usually not traditionally) and felt...|||When most people think of the term in love they mean limerence, that heart-going-boom-boom, sweaty-palm, have-to-see-her/him feeling that couples often have at the beginning of the relationship.  ...|||I don't think there is a man alive who doesn't want to know the secret to bedding a hottie with no strings attached. In fact, whole careers are made from it. ;-)  My thing is, I have a hard time...|||MorningCalm, it seems counterintuitive, but many narcoleptics suffer from insomnia. Check out the short self assessment here:  Sleep *SELF TEST|||It sounds like maybe your friend has a sleep disorder, narcolepsy maybe? It's actually more common than you think.|||Yeah, I'm not down with that.|||Any comments that invalidate my feelings or makes me feel like it's my own fault for feeling the way I do. I've notived T types in particular will try to talk me out of how I feel or tell me I...|||I would posit that you probably have already met an INFJ, you just don't know it because they will keep it a low-hum until they know it's safe to come out.|||Yes, me too. I struggle with the ambivalence. But I don't know how INFJ-specific that is. Did you see the INFJ paradox thread? This discussion reminds me of that.|||I agree with the above poster that it would be helpful to hear a few more specifics about your question.  In general, I do have a hard time dating and find that I spend a lot of time on dates...|||I'm cool with that as long as the T APPRECIATES and accepts the F and doesn't try to change it. In my experience, that often hasn't been the case. Sometimes, they can tend to see it as inferior and...|||LOL. Me too.|||PS No offense, Miss Scarlet, but your response is a perfect example. ;-)|||I'm sure there are, but I think my point was more to the fact that Ts tend to look at every thing -- even feelings -- logically. Which makes me, in general, feel misunderstood.|||@JJ Yossarian  Props to JJ for his willingness to consider alternatives.|||No offense, but this thread is exactly why I could never be in a romantic relationship with a T. '-)  I think everyone on some level calculates the ROI on every relationship -- from carpooling to...|||Actually, while watching Chralie Rose interview Gates recently, I was wondering about his type. I very much got the T vibe off him, but that interview is the only info I have about him as a person....|||Spot fucking on.|||I found it got a bit easier as I got older, probably because I learned (the very hard way) how little control over anything I have. That freed me (somewhat) from my perfectionist streak and allowed...|||I find it helpful to try to reframe my thinking. For instance, All my boyfriend wants to do is get busy! can just as easily be restated to My BF thinks I'm so hot, he can't keep his hands off me!...|||Bear987 Good points.   I've heard that people who grow up with alcoholics (and presumably other issues that make life unpredictable for a child, like mental illness) get really good at reading...|||As a parent, I see how much kids come hardwired. But as a person, I look back on my childhood (which wasn't exactly Ozzie and Harriet) and see very much how those experiences shaped me. I don't know...|||You sounds depressed. Have you considered seeing a therapist?  Also, keep in mind that people can probably sense if you are doing things just to get them to like you or if you are bitter and...|||Frankly, even at 48 years old, I can still sometimes be taken aback at how much external validation most people seem to need. It doesn't seem to matter how many times I get hit with this realization,...|||My advice would be to read a few descriptions of both and see which one is a better fit.|||Almost everyone in my family of origin is introverted, so it wasn't really an issue. But, once I got married and started hanging out with my then-husbands family -- teeming with extroverts -- I had a...|||I was married for 10+ years and it took me a good 5 to feel completely ready to move on. Course, I had a lot of personal work to do and I was suddenly a single mom with a toddler and just starting my...|||I was hanging out with my best friend yesterday and talked her into taking a short MBTI test. Turns out she is ESTJ (not a surprise to me). But after she took it, she didn't even bother to read...|||Lemme ask you this: If you were advising YOU, that is, if your daughter/best friend/sister were in the spot you are, what would you tell her?|||If they are funny without being  mean, I'm attracted for platonic as well as romantic relationships. Other than that, for a platonic relationship of any depth, I need someone who can go more than...|||Mary, darling:  RUN, don't walk, RUN from that job. If you are an INFJ, it will kill you. Do not think there is something wrong with you, there is something wrong with you and that job. You have...|||I find it really tiresome how so many people find conversation to be a series of monologues. For the love of all things holy, if you are going to insist on monopolizing the conversation, at least be...|||Haters gonna hate.|||It's a well-known fact that clowns are scary.|||I understand you may not be able to discuss the details of your, um, case. But theoretically speaking, if one were to be put in the sin bin, what offense would one have committed?'