'[QUOTE=we tend to want different outcomes from the conflict.   What are the different outcomes that you both want? Thank you so much for taking the time to offer your thoughts. They are much...|||First of all, thank you for the humor :-)  Secondly, I do find his idealism endearing and when it is something that I'm in sync with, I love to put the details together to make his ideas become a...|||Nice! So, you don't mind it when we dissect your plan? I just can't help but do it. However, I won't bother if I didn't think there was merit to the idea in the first place|||Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I always appreciate it when people take time out to answer questions to help others. :)  I found it interesting that you said agrees  with less than half of my...|||I don't make that assumption personally. The INFP that I know is capable of rethinking things and is open to other opinions. I think it might be more an issue of immaturity in relation to what some...|||I'm an INTJ female. I posted this thread in the INTJ forum http://personalitycafe.com/intj-forum-scientists/672978-good-ugly-dating-being-married-infp.html  Same question to you all. We all have...|||well, this works in my favor then as I know myself really well and am always myself around him and others. I think my bluntness amuses him at times as often it can come across as quirky and/or...|||THank you for your well thought out response. It was very helpful. I underlined and bolded my thoughts of your statements above. Sorry I don't really have the posting system down well yet :-)|||Thank you for your thoughts. I think I understood the basic sentiment of basically trying to not be too blunt. I need to sandwich my opinions with kind words and validating his feelings. I can do...|||Very good points and tips and yes, it is relevant to make the male/female distinction. Thank you!|||Great point! Any tips on how to communicate more effectively so that they feel better about how we do this?|||Have you noticed the tendency to repeat the same cycle of pursuing unrealistic fantasy after another one only to end up in countless dead ends that have used up lots of their resources of time,...|||Do you think this changes with maturity and/or as the relationship develops?|||k|||I think we tend to date and marry at the same emotional health as ourselves. A question to ask yourself is what is going on with you that you keep picking psychologically (depressed) unhealthy women?...|||Your question is too broad for me. I'd be more inclined to share if you asked me a specific question like How do I view the inter office politics or do I enjoy going on dates? so on and so on.  The...|||Haha. Good reframe. I'd like to not get angry. I'm pretty sure it shows on my face and can be heard in my voice...|||I'm mainly interested in hearing from other INTJ's. Please share with me your personal opinions of strengths and weaknesses of being in a romantic relationship with an INFP. Thanks|||Yes, very :-)|||I think you hit the nail on the head there! I don't think that he understands his own emotions. He told me in the above conversation that he didn't know what happened to us. He seems confused...|||[QUOTE=Wellsy;5191954]@RuthBoaz What do you mean by it suggests something not being said explicitly? Well one would ask why did he bring it up? It could be insignificant and just a topical...|||Being interrupted. http://personalitycafe.com/intj-forum-scientists/99411-do-you-shut-down-when-you-interrupted.html  Agreed|||2. Why in the world did he feel the need to broach the topic as he not even dating that woman or any woman at present? Unsure, I personally think it's weird to bring up dating life to people,...|||Yes, it's true that I'm not over him. He's attempting to date but says that he can't find another me either. Also, that he doesn't really understand what happened to us and then that he really isn't...|||[QUOTE=cosmia;5158962] With you or her? It might have just come up. Conversations can lead you in odd directions sometimes.   He brought it up to me after he'd stopped talking to her two months...|||I'd appreciate your input, especially from INFP or ENFP males. :-) Here's the quick background: My ex and I dated 3 years ago. We were engaged and very serious, broke up 2 1/2 years ago. Neither of...|||Haha. Thank you for your comments. It's also nice to hear from someone who's been married 25 years. That is a wonderful thing in and of itself :-) Sounds like you agree with my mother. She doesn't...|||I've been romantically interested in guys that I've called sweet. I found it to be one of their most attractive qualities.|||So, here's a wierd twist to this whole story. Guy in question called me after 3 months of virtual silence. He'd wanted us to be friends after I ended things (due to the dog he didn't have seeming to...|||Why do you think that is?|||Bahahaha! So true!|||I am a very good listener and try to not interrupt also. With one exception...when my mother (INFJ) repeats herself over and over and over again. It tries my patience and runs smack into my other pet...|||http://personalitycafe.com/intj-forum-scientists/99411-do-you-shut-down-when-you-interrupted.html  This thread describes one thing that seems to really anger a lot of us INTJ's....being interrupted...|||Yes, the answer is yes, I do get pissed off when someone does that. It's interrupting pure and simple to me. It feels disrespectful and is invalidating. I want to feel heard and be heard. I so rarely...|||At present, I would not be able to handle it. I haven't had to handle anything much yet b/c he isn't dating and I don't see him often at all. It makes it easy for things to go under the surface....|||Thank you. Yes, we were strongly bonded. He told me that I was his best friend. I was. I was the only one that he shared everything with. I lost my best friend too but as a woman, I have more outlets...|||I can relate although no longer with the intensity that you feel as it's been 2 years for me and I'm open to finding someone else now whereas a year ago I definitely wasn't. My ex hasn't dated anyone...|||Me too, but I think it's more when they don't get me rather than just what I'm talking about. I'll clarify for someone to help bring understanding but if someone is interrupting me when I'm sharing...|||That's exactly how I feel! Well put. Thank you|||Thank you. I'm sorry to hear of your pain. One year may sound like a long time to some people but for others (like myself) it was just a moment ago. I no longer feel pain. Often I still feel longing....|||If a person is in close proximity to me I'll always smile and say hello. If they are busy, I'll walk past as I don't want to disturb them.  If it's a close friend I'll always say hello and even...|||I don't mean this disrespectfully at all, but in my mind that quote above doesn't make any sense. I mean I understand what you are saying, but I think that if you love someone, then you fight for...|||I think that is an accurate assessment as much as my heart wishes it all meant something more. My head hears what you're saying and thinks that you are right.|||Thank you. I have thought about this and plan to do so but not right now. I think that he has too much on his plate. One person posted that I'm friends with him out of pity. That's not at all the...|||Thank you for your well thought out comments. It sounds like she really hurt something deep within your soul. :-(  In the case of my ex, we were both very kind to each other during the relationship...|||Yes, I found it extremely odd too and so did all of my guy friends. The guys all said that no matter how much they loved dogs that they'd never choose one over a woman. This guy doesn't even own a...|||haha. No, I just gave him the boot|||Thank you for your response. I'm sorry to hear about your very recent break up. :-( It sounds like it was necessary but still it's painful and 3 years is a long time...a lot to process I'd imagine. ...|||Here's the quick scenario. I dated and almost married an INFP a couple of years ago. We'd been acqaintences for a year before we dated but became best friends while we dated. It was a really rough...|||Update: I broke up with him. He unfortunately was more stuck on the ideal/fantasy wife relationship than the real me. He watched me cough/gag/choak due to my allergies of dogs, cats, horses and then...'