'In my experience the only INTJ's I have ever met in real life were all jerks lol makes me wonder if in the past I came off that way to them or others (:unsure:) I know I at least came off as...|||well I think that sums up the why, as for the how, just tell him to stop, and if he doesn't, then stop responding.  hope that helps|||I repress all of my emotions to some degree, which one depends on the situation. I think this repression is mostly tactical (i.e. finding something funny but not laughing out loud because it may be...|||basic rule of thumb with INTJ's: if we're spending time with you, we like you.  to what degree I can't say, but speaking generally, INTJ's don't spend time with people they can't tolerate/don't...|||https://media.giphy.com/media/c4nbqHm99LnMc/giphy.gif|||1.What wakes you up most mornings (alarm, pets, kids, etc.)?  My dog trying to burrow under my sheets :laughing:  2. Which historical figure*not named Adolf Hitler*would you kill? Why?  Ix92d...|||what approach? :laughing: ... (:unsure:) lmao in all seriousness as untraditional and potentially beta as it sounds I think I would prefer the woman to express interest first. At least for now, I'm...|||I have a lot to say, but I've found it's better I keep it to myself :laughing:|||I understand where you're coming from. For me it's not a matter of being unable to get/keep friends, but rather I choose not to. I've had the same small circle of friends for just over 10 years now,...|||honestly it sounds like you have some self esteem issues, and I don't mean that in an insulting way because I've been in a similar position, just that you may want to consider that as the root cause...|||thank you for the responses everyone, they were interesting to read. I've found in my own experience it's probably mostly idealized, because the only time I ever really have what would be considered...|||When it comes to having a crush on someone, how much of it do you think is baseless idealization vs something more objective? Is a crush nothing more than a fictional person we've created in our...|||I think you may be on to something with that. Maybe I am trying to prevent future regret. I don't know, I think another big part of it is I like to plan everything out, and make it as efficient as...|||I've been thinking about this for a while now, but I figured I'd just post it on here and see what you all think.  I've heard so many times that when you're talking to someone, you're not supposed...|||I think both, but mainly pre beaten paths. Me saying I want to follow my dreams isn't me saying I want to invent a new profession or something or do something people haven't done. It's that there are...|||Yeah that's basically where I'm at now, at least in terms of being content with where I'm going. But I also see time as a factor too. Yeah I could change paths later on, but I'd like to figure it out...|||Honestly, practically speaking, there's nothing else. The only way I can describe it is that it's a feeling that I'm meant to do something more. That, along with the realization that my other dreams...|||That did help me a lot. I never really thought of it that way, thank you.|||Strontphite  azir Well going by that I would say it would be Belonginess and/or Esteem. I definitely am fine with physiological and safety needs. I think it's interesting because originally I...|||Well, I thought I was passed it. Not completely passed self-actualizing entirely because I think it's something we all do from time to time, but I thought I had finally figured out my path and my...|||Interesting. I kind of do that now and then on my own. Usually when I'm not content with my circumstances or the way things have been going in my life. I start to challenge my way of thinking and my...|||um...not me lol that's quite the generalization to say of course everyone does it. I barely eat, once a day, maybe twice; and even then it's not much. I rarely feel hungry. If I eat it's because...|||great point, thank you.|||no that was a very insightful post, thank you.|||I do the same thing lol I have literally hundreds of word documents and random notes on my phone with all of the ideas and plot elements I think of. Haven't finished anything yet though (aside from...|||I'm the same way. My technical writing has never been a problem, but my creative writing (as much as I love it) has never been very good. It's funny you mention John Green, I've forced myself to read...|||it won't work/I don't want it to work: completely remove them from my life and proceed as though they never existed.  it could work/I want it to work: obsessively fantasize on what could be.  ...|||very well said, thank you.|||so true unfortunately lol|||I reread what you originally posted for some context, this whole situation is kind of confusing to be honest. Other members said to be direct, well I think you were direct when you asked her out on a...|||I don't mean it in terms of I want to find someone to dump baggage on, I mean it more I want to find someone who I can be myself around and not feel self conscious about what they're thinking (i.e....|||yeah that's where I am now, forcing myself out of that mindset. My entire life I operated under the assumption that everybody was watching my every move, and they had to be judging what I said or how...|||https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3EE2Yyyx1k|||It's very paradoxical lol really it's pressure from myself to change. I've always been the quiet introvert, but I want to be more personable, not necessarily outgoing. Nobody else is pressuring me to...|||I can honestly say there isn't a single person I feel I can be completely vulnerable with. I think if I had to give an explanation, it would be because friendships (at least in my experience) come...|||I agree. I think in my case it's more so that I could be warm and approachable, but I've allowed the anti-social/recluse label to define me (a label that I'm realizing now was of my doing). So I...|||Yes I would say this is the case, but like I said, for the first time I'm starting to really internalize that thought of not caring, so I imagine it will get better with more time.     I think I...|||*edited original post after figuring out what I was actually trying to say*  I've always been very quiet, stoic, not very personable...etc. It's something I've been working on, and have been told...|||having never been in a relationship, I can't say for sure how I would react in that situation, but at least with other negative events in my life I usually just cut it from my life completely. I...|||well I guess my point is I don't see that as a positive. Nor is it something I seek in another. Granted that's my opinion and maybe I'm in the minority, but I'm an introvert, that's who I am. It's...|||Yeah, I think for me it's probably mostly a self esteem issue, but I also enjoy a certain level of homeostasis/tranquility in my life, so by not revealing my feelings for another, I avoid the...|||I agree with you for the most part, but at least from my personal experience, I can understand why INTJ's may (and when I say INTJ's I mean myself lol) be hard to read, especially when it comes to...|||Without being too redundant by listing what others have already said, I would say the main thing I look for is compatibility. They say opposites attract, but I don't think they stay together. I think...|||I think what he's saying (or at least an explanation to his situation) is that in this particular case, being the quiet reserved INTJ lead to others coming to his aid (I'm assuming who otherwise may...|||I can relate in a way. However, the difference for me does not come from a fear of being misunderstood, but more so my level of interest. For example, if I’m talking to someone I don’t care about...|||that's so true lol|||could you elaborate on this a bit more? what do you mean not verbally? through text? also, when was that in regard to how long you've known her? and what happened after she said that? (i.e. what...|||I can relate to this. I would say that the reason I isolate myself is because I know that no matter how extroverted I could potentially come off, it wouldn't be sustainable. For example, whenever I...|||does he need to respond after he gets the information (whatever that means) that he needs? Also, why does it set feeler types into a spin? They're in a spin for doing their job? Also can they...|||yeah didn't mean to be unhelpful, it just seems like there's a lot of repeated questions and repeated answers on here, wasn't sure if you checked or not. To answer your question however (which is...'