'The rest of your life is such a long time! There is no telling what will happen during those years. Who you will meet, what relationships you will develop, what experiences you will have. The trick...|||Your main goal is to get her to stop being self-critical? This is all about framing.   Notice that in your paragraph you first described what is wrong with her: she is unmotivated and doesn't...|||Yes, I will sometimes wait and see. Because the thing is, sometimes the problem does go away. It depends on what kind of problem it is. I often do the wait and see game if I see multiple...|||Accepting love in relationships is really hard for me to do. Every time I go a step deeper, I first feel so happy. Then the panic comes. It's almost like a terror, a deep fear of rejection and being...|||bexaddai I couldn't help but smile when I read your grandparents story! It's so charming and well-written. And your grandma and grandpa reminded me a little bit of me and my ENTJ boyfriend. I am a...|||[QUOTE=Great_Thinker;11563274]Ahhh who cares about the pro's? The single thing that INFP's strongly desire is emotions.[QUOTE]  I can't speak for every INFP, but this isn't really true for me. I...|||You can do it! Don't make it about the result--i.e. finding X amount of friends. Focus on doing what you can: going to new places, doing new things, joining a couple new organizations or groups.  I...|||For me, meditation and secular Buddhist philosophy. In other words, realizing that my thoughts about reality are always removed from reality. For example: raise your hand a couple of inches over...|||From my understanding, Buddhism is a non-theistic religion. When people asked the Buddha about whether there was a god or not, he said something to the effect of that being an irrelevant question....|||I just vented in my own thread on here, so of course I have my own problems. But I will say I remember feeling like you in the past--so much more overwhelmed and unable to see how I could ever handle...|||I just need to vent. Things have been going so well in some areas of my life lately, but professionally the stress is mounting higher than I can handle. I just returned from an awesome two week...|||ArtOfBreaking I have to say that it is impossible to tell whether the two people you describe are INFPs. You seem to be typing them based almost entirely on their emotional or dramatic qualities,...|||Thank you for your comment on my development. Meditation has helped me develop tremendously. It has enabled me to remain in touch with my feelings, to acknowledge and be aware of them, while also...|||Yes, I think that if we don't acknowledge that fear has some base, then we are not acknowledging we could get hurt. I think when I come to a place where the fear just exists because of the inherent...|||Are humans good or evil by nature? I believe good. I don't know why but it is a strong conviction/intuition.  Can we truly be in love with a person or only the idea of love that we have? One of...|||I agree with you that it's a mature approach. I don't think that's purely an NT perspective. I think it's the only way to really decide to trust. If I don't acknowledge that this could go wrong and...|||snc1878 I know how it can feel to sometimes look at people and feel like they have it all--people out with friends or lovers having fun, doing the things we might dream about doing. But we never know...|||krentz I remember seeing a study years ago about how adults actually experienced the same amount of stress and the same force of emotion as adults. Whereas adults stress over problems like making...|||This has happened to me too!!! So frustrating! It seems like with some types, the INFP hesitancy in the beginning kind of kills it for some. They don't realize we are just taking our time to warm up,...|||I can only comment from my own experiences. I use Fi as my main way of sorting through information. It's super important! So when I fall for someone, the way they make me feel tells me things about...|||Never dated an INTJ, but with an INTP I dated that was exactly what happened: we were both too introverted and could not produce the energy necessary to sustain the relationship. Maybe if one or both...|||Yes! We don't have the same values as the mainstream, a lot of times.   If this is something that bothers you or makes you feel like you are losing friends, you have a couple of options. You can...|||I agree with you. I think I am having trouble wording what I mean because I still don't deeply understand how ENTJs in general--or mine in particular--approach conflict.  I think my boyfriend...|||I can idealize love so much that reality falls short. Idealized love isn't even real. Real love has this sense of giving without being attached to the outcome...It is not giving with one eye on how...|||Metta meditation helped me so much when I was feeling lonely. It still does. Give some to yourself.  Dharma Seed has free searchable archives of the meditations. If it's not your thing, then it's...|||I am thankful to have found out years ago that I was an INFP. I am thankful there are people who understand the way I think and who value similar things as I do.  I am thankful not to have given up...|||I would probably lose a lot of trust for that friend. Because if they are willing to hurt someone else to get what they want, if they are willing to break faith with someone else, if they choose to...|||Only you can answer the question for yourself: how much harm is the manipulation doing to you? If this is an abusive situation, don't try to solve if for yourself. Two people would need counseling to...|||It can be draining to deal with the emotions of others constantly, especially if there is a bombardment of them from someone close to you. And especially if they attribute their emotions to you or...|||My mom and sister both seem to have (undiagnosed) borderline personality disorder. It's largely characterized by emotional manipulation. I don't think either of them are usually aware when they are...|||This is just a theory, but sometimes I think it's easy to confuse the content of a thought with the way of handling that thought/idea. So cognitive functions are ways of handling...|||It was a very painful end to the relationship, but it was an incredible growing experience for me in the long run, and what I learned there has helped me out a lot in my current relationship. If you...|||I do think that MBTI alone isn't enough to tell whether two people are compatible as a couple or not, but I also don't think that every couple can work. I have watched my parents go back to each...|||slothpop It's crazy, isn't it? It does sound like you two are very similar to us! I can relate to feeling that pressure to merge a little bit, although I'm not a 9 (I don't think). I think for me, if...|||slothpop It is still a pretty young relationship. We have been a couple for four months.   The good: We laugh together like no others. At first, we couldn't read each other's moods and sense of...|||I am an INFP in a relationship with a male ENTJ. Before I met and started dating him, I'd always thought that an ENTJ was the type I would least like to have a relationship with, lol. And the few...|||I just thought I'd add some thoughts on freedom. I think freedom is a complicated idea.  As I see it, there is no such thing as absolute and total freedom. We all have 24 hours in a day and 7 days...|||Synful  Haha, yes! Thank you for the reminder   Being a luckdragon brings luck to me and everyone I love, so we'll say that's a pretty all-encompassing bucket list bullet point and includes...|||thismustbetheplace   I didn't realize it either for a long time. On the east coast, most of the members seem to be Christian but non-Christians are definitely welcome. As you move away from the...|||Oh this is fun!  Things I would like to do:  -Write a novel -Travel to all seven continents -Get a master's degree -Have an article or short story published -Get my RN certification|||I love science as well, although I am going into an applied field with a big human component (nursing). But I already have a science degree in another field that threw me into plenty of physics,...|||Well I have lived in a very urban city (DC) as well as in suburbs as well as out in the middle of nowhere in rural Texas (where I am currently). I have had periods in all of them where I felt...|||Dear ENTJ,  You rock more than I knew a man could, and I love you utterly and wholly. But I am also terrified of getting hurt by you. So please be patient with me when I take awkward little baby...|||I think it depends to a large degree on the content of the value/belief system. If I hold a belief that perfection is possible and is also required, then all mistakes and imperfections will be felt...|||Of course it is! Falkor is the best :)|||When someone tries to deepen a relationships, I am usually touched. But it also often frightens me, and I do withdraw a bit. Even when I notice myself doing this and actively try not to, it is a...|||Hi everyone! I just thought I'd say hi and introduce myself. I've been a lurker on here for quite a while and finally decided to join up. My ENFJ bff got me into MBTI several years ago, and I've...|||Hm, I am not sure what to make of this situation. My boyfriend is ENTJ, and I can imagine him doing something like that (putting off getting something he asked for, not making a big deal about it...'