'I said zero flexibility and little time for dating. Going around sifting through dates to find one that clicks isn't going to be as viable.  That has nothing to do with maintaining a relationship I...|||How you've come to the conclusion I have nothing to offer  merely because I am busy is beyond me.       No not really. Again, more made up stuff.|||okay, this isn't cool.  you're specifically looking to get into a relationship because you're about to enter a life phase where you will not have any resources to give to a relationship?   that is...|||I do take it slow (that's why I'm still single), but I'm not interested in making friends. I  have friends. Enough for my liking. I'm interested in going on dates with the intent of entering a...|||Absolutely not for me. I find the idea repugnant, actually.|||People could have been polite. Maybe average is a more conservative bet. And I'm not claiming I'm a social butterfly. I'm just a normal guy who is introverted but not a social doofus.  I don't...|||I'm probably giving up the online thing here when my next subscription runs out. After that I really don't know where to look. Bars are a definite no. I don't understand where people meet their...|||I've tried both ways, actually. The last few women I have gone out with have gotten really weird and/or ignored my backhanded compliments. I don't know what to do anymore. Seems I get screwed either...|||I'm actually pretty healthy.     Sorry you feel that way. Not sure which ones you met, but assholes exist everywhere. The number isn't anywhere near 99% though.|||If anything I err on the side of being indifferent. Definitely not overeager.|||Yeah my close friends don't live near me anymore.  The issue is that I have been meeting people, a good amount, and nothing works. I want to know why it is that deformed, infirm, mentally unstable,...|||My friends are in worse positions than I am. Asking them isn't going to help.   As far as feedback, not really because that seems like an extraordinarily awkward thing to ask someone you barely...|||So, I'm a 26 year old male who has been striking out time and time again when it comes to relationships. I've been in one relationship my entire life that lasted like 1.5 years and ended when I was...|||I don't think this sort of dating method is very reasonable, and at best, it is counterproductive. Being friends first just throws a wrench in what is normally a smooth dating process. When you fear...|||Never was a kiss.|||I appreciate the feedback. I think I'm just going to tell her we shouldn't hang out unless she can dedicate a decent amount of time to it. What is happening right now is dragging things out and...|||I don't know. After thinking more, I'm on the verge of giving up. It has nothing to do with seeing her infrequently, or not making it official or what have you. It's that she keeps things...|||I don't know. I'm not a model or anything but I'm decent looking. She's drop dead gorgeous and nice and smart. Guys are always after her it seems. But I'm also smarter and have better career...|||I like your answer, but maybe I'm just being optimistic. It is basically, what I've been doing. I can't shake the feeling that she wouldn't be giving me any of her time if she weren't interested and...|||How am I supposed to know if an INFJ just wants to be friends? Things have been very weird with an INFJ I've been seeing. I've been very upfront about my intentions and she essentially told me she...|||Interesting. I find it unusual INFJs are known for taking forever to open up and trust people yet all the responses so far have indicated kissing in 3 or fewer dates....|||My INFJ friend has been with an INTJ, and i don't want to bust your confidence but even though she liked him at first, she soon found out that he was putting her down and felt caged. I can see that...|||Enlighten us infjs. Also indicate your gender and if you initiated.|||Well there was more than that. She also said she was basically trying to figure out if I'm trustworthy and decent.|||Those two things seem at odds. How can you be simultaneously not saying things that need to be said but also being proactively aggressive?|||Pretty much yeah. Women just do not enjoy my company on any level. I'm in the same situation. Never had any female friends, dated one person in my life and it lasted a little less than two years. The...|||I don't think that is going to help me dig myself out of the very clingy seeming hole I dug myself. I basically asked her if she knew I was romantically interested and she responded of course lol...|||I should have just let things proceed at a natural pace. Pretty pissed at myself. About zero chance she speaks to me again.|||I read through most of that thread. From what I can tell I never did anything egregious. Good chance she lost interest after my bluntness though lol.|||I broke that off shortly after my post. I felt like a slime ball. I only did it because people were telling me she's a lost cause and I should see other people. BTW I have a very well developed...|||Update on this. Told her I liked her and got no reassurance she liked me or even that she wasn't interested. Those who said she was ambivalent were right. I'm pretty much calling it off at this point...|||Yeah so I told her and didn't get an affirmation she liked me nor that she didn't. She basically said she had known for a while I like her. Pretty much what I expected. Probably going to call it...|||Is the crystal ball reference supposed to mean your guess is as good as mine or what? Edit: guess not :p|||So I've gone on six or so dates with an INFJ over a 3 month period (she's pretty busy, and me too) and recently I feel like progress has been a little glacial. For a bit I thought she was warming up...|||She hates texting.  And yeah, she told me how picky she was about people recently and that normally she wouldn't give anyone the time of day.|||You would literally have to have an autism spectrum disorder. I would know.  Not to mention you don't tell someone who is just friends how much you like them. That would be more than bizarre.|||It's kind of hard to get to the point of officially dating when you have no idea what is going on in her head. For all I know an attempt to kiss her would result in abject horror and assault...|||Spoke to her last night, she essentially said she likes me a lot and would normally never make any time for people unless she was obligated to. But she also indirectly used the word friend but it...|||So I met an INFJ female a while back, and we've been out like five or so times on a date. They go well, we get along, everything seems nice. I find her very attractive and we have quite a bit in...|||'  I don't know, I kind of have a rule that I don't compliment a female on her appearance until she trusts me. I did compliment her personality a few times.  She is extremely cautious from what I...|||Well, now I have a new question. Went on a second date a few days ago and it went well and she said she wanted to meet up again. The problem is, there hasn't been an ounce of flirting or touching...|||She started initiating with me and asked if I'm free soon. -_-    If there is anything to be learned it is don't play the analysis game. You will lose.|||Expectations of....?|||I don't know. I can't really fault a strong introvert for being wary about someone she doesn't really know. Number 2 is cruel, but it is how modern dating works.    Pretty sure this isn't the...|||I don't know. I can't really fault a strong introvert for being wary about someone she doesn't really know. Number 2 is cruel, but it is how modern dating works.    Pretty sure this isn't the...|||Thanks, option 1 seems most likely. It seems whenever I finally get her to open up there is like a cascade of good conversation that finally ensues, but it is like pulling teeth initially. Then I...|||I'm socially retarded and would know that if a random stranger asked for my contact info then asked me out for drinks or lunch then the person probably isn't interested in just being friends.|||So I shouldn't be deterred by the fact she doesn't really ever reach out to me? I don't enjoy appearing like someone who can't take a hint or who puts someone else in an awkward situation. I worry...|||No this seems to fit her pretty well.|||Thanks for the advice everyone. I appreciate your taking the time to respond.'