'He doesn't want to go on the trip without me, so me staying behind wouldn't be an option for him. I think he really does believe that I'm the one being unreasonable. He still continues to say that...|||I'm still completely in AWE and I'm AMAZED that he doesn't think twice about leaving one of them and how that will make them feel. He said he wants to tell them that I'm not willing to work extra for...|||Thanks, everyone. I'm struggling with being selfish and not just going ahead and working to pay for the rest. I don't want my husband to feel unloved or like I don't care about his feelings......but...|||My husband works an extra job each year to pay for a Disney World trip for the two of us, our son together and my two boys ages 12 and 13. He says the vacation is extremely important to him and...|||He said that it's not like he's asking me to do the 90 percent and he is only willing to do 10, but that it's the other way around. He's doing all the sacrificing and once again I'm  not willing to...|||My husband would rather that I be skinny with smaller boobs than heavier with slightly larger boobs, though I'm sure if he had his way he'd prefer skinny with larger boobs. Oh well.  I can't...|||.                Oh my gosh....this has me laughing my head off!!!|||As naive and short sighted as this sounds....I use to think that everyone thought and felt  the same way that I did. How I went for 30 something years before I realized that people are different and...|||I've also always been drawn to leasing agents and apartment management.|||I was a stay at home mom until around 6 years ago. I always had my hand in some kind of entrepreneur venture during that time though,  and found that I really loved training and speaking in front of...|||Hi guys, thought I'd update for anyone curious as to what's been going on.....  We've agreed that I would bring in x amount of money a month no matter how often I have to work for it, and that if...|||I've asked him to go to counseling with me in the past, and he said that he would. I began making arrangements for us to go and when I asked him if he had any preferences on some things, he backed...|||My husband would say, Should I just be okay with her weight and let it go even though it's important to me and should I just work my life away for the things I want extra just so she can be at  home...|||Am I in the wrong? Sometimes I feel as though I should just go ahead and work full time so that we can have a better lifestyle because that's what it takes these days and what it takes for my...|||I am not concerned with getting my feelings hurt by others who post things straight forward, harsh and the way they see it. I would prefer straight talk so that I can get to the bottom of things....|||All of that being said, he makes more than I do. Our bills are more than covered on the budget we have set up, but we like to eat out often and go to movies and take vacations and some spur of the...|||I could completely do without the extras until the kids are older. He says he doesn't mind working extra for the extras, but I am stealing from him if I don't make my half of the bills. Sooooo......I...|||I was supporting myself when we got together and saw myself financially fine down the road before I met him. He makes enough money to cover his own bills and a little bit more for a few extra things...|||He is only insisting on a weight around 117 or so because that probably IS my healthy weight. I'm 5'0. So I would have to lose about 15 pounds to reach my healthy weight.|||It is WAY easier to open up to strangers....and also to keep your personal business out of everyone else's close to you.   I kind of feel like the second bold statement....kind of. I do tell him...|||I certainly tend to shut down. I'm trying not to in this situation...  .....I guess the last sentence is true for me....I'm looking into whether or not this is normal acceptable behavior and if...|||This feels like  very good and practical advice. I believe I'm emotionally stable and mature enough to see through what I feel is negative raw emotion and glean from the rest.|||His hobby pays for vacation every year. He probably wouldn't lose that client, but he would have to pack up his studio twice a year and he says it's a real pain to do. And there is no guarantee that...|||He  waits tables for a living, so the money could be different. Right now, I  work 3 sometimes 4 nights a week myself so I could pick up extra  shifts. I believe he wants me to commit to at least 5...|||Hello everyone.....I have the dilemma again of only having about 10  minutes alone on the computer. I'm off over the weekend, so I'm still  hoping to be able to address individual posts here. I...|||My husband asked me how it's fair that my ex gets to pursue his dreams and I'm asking him to follow my ex, yet he has to leave behind his dreams.|||I realize this is kind of all over the place and there isn't nearly enough to go on here. I've seen comments about people reading posts and leaving their marriage because of it.....I can assure you...|||He waits tables for a living, so the money could be different. Right now, I work 3 sometimes 4 nights a week myself so I could pick up extra shifts. I believe he wants me to commit to at least 5 days...|||Hello everyone.....I have the dilemma again of only having about 10 minutes alone on the computer. I'm off over the weekend, so I'm still hoping to be able to address individual posts here. I wanted...|||I have to run now.....but I have so much more I'd like to respond to  from each of you. Again....I genuinely appreciate and value every point  of view. It helps me to learn more about him and more...|||I've  found myself wishing that my husband would be more loving toward me.  I've found myself feeling like I live with someone who is trying to get  what he wants out of this...|||Hi everyone! I've had a minute to post some thoughts, and I hope it's okay to copy them here. I haven't had a chance to get on the computer and my time is very limited.....also, as someone...|||I haven't read your PM yet....thank you so much for your input! :happy:|||I agree....it could ALWAYS be worse! And yes, if he constantly checked up on me and didn't trust me, that would be difficult, too. As for the promise being the biggest thing he's frustrated...|||I have to run now.....but I have so much more I'd like to respond to from each of you. Again....I genuinely appreciate and value every point of view. It helps me to learn more about him and more...|||Being honest with myself, I think that I find myself longing for him to  be concerned with how his words and actions affect me. Instead I feel as though he will use whatever tactic he needs until he...|||I've found myself wishing that my husband would be more loving toward me. I've found myself feeling like I live with someone who is trying to get what he wants out of this relationship...........and...|||I haven't been able to get on the computer until now......thank you to everyone who has taken the time and effort to respond! :) I've read through each and every response and have a few minutes to...|||Thank you so much for all of your advice! Ironically, I've watched SO many documentaries about our foods that you would think I would grow my own garden and only eat from that! It's ALL about...|||If I'm being honest, the extra 15 pounds probably isn't healthy. I'm 5'0  and it shows up more on me than a taller frame. It's just harder to  lose than the last time I did it. It's really not a...|||Thank you for your kind words! :)  I genuinely DO want him to be happy with me, but it IS a lot of pressure knowing that my weight is the key to him being happy with me. I know his personality type...|||He says  respectfully and kindly doesn't get him anywhere with me. He feels he has to be harsh or I won't get on the ball and do it. I totally agree that he has a selfish nature. But he also says...|||I honestly don't think he genuinely  cares. When I've told him that it makes me feel unloved and that it subconsciously has the opposite effect on me when he  pressures me, he just says Well, I've...|||I like SparkPeople. :)  Actually, if I worked out about 4 times a week and also lowered my calorie intake with healthier foods I would probably lose at least 10 of the 15 pounds. It's being...|||I'm 5'0 exactly, so the 15  pounds do show up on me in a couple of areas....mainly my mid-section and I just look a little heavier in general. The problem is that when we met, I had already had 4...|||Hello Everyone! I posted this in the ESTJ forum and got a few responses and would also like to know how any ENFP's would handle/feel about this situation:  :)  Thank you!   I'm an ENFP married 5...|||I'm 5'0 exactly, so the 15 or so pounds show up easily on me. I still look at pictures and think, well I'm not THAT big, but he wants me to be small like I use to be. Just his preference. It...|||While I do believe it has a whole lot to do with keeping my word.....I also believe the weight is still a huge issue. He still doesn't understand why I won't give him the one thing that's most...|||Thank you for your response. I'm just now beginning to understand how he operates so I'm trying not to get my feelings hurt. He absolutely won't tolerate lying and I can understand that, but  it has...|||Hi everyone. I'm an ENFP married 5 years to an ESTJ. Before we were married he asked me to agree that we would both do whatever it takes to stay basically our same weight for each other. My sincere...'