'Thanks, Bronzework.  I'm very happy with the responses here.  I'll consider my question answered.|||Don't compare one day's joys with two days' worries.|||Another facet of the It's simpler than that idea...  (written to 'you' but addressing myself as much as anyone)  The nagging unsettled feelings are never wrong.  They can't be.  They are always...|||The constantly nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach is more or less a fixed feature of daily life.  It has been there most of the time whether I'm in a relationship or not.  I'm trying to...|||Ouch, that's exactly what I kept struggling over for so very, very long!  I suspect that these feelings may come from some mix of perfectionistic sabotage, red flags, general anxieties that...|||My usual way of processing things is something like this:  1) Something happens / external stimulus 2) Immediate emotional response (internal) 3) Clam up 4) Ruminate internally to try to...|||To tell you the truth, I've been completely dragging my feet on starting a relationship with the new person.  I don't know whether that's a good thing because I wouldn't be able to be wholeheartedly...|||All much easier than I think it is is a hazy idea.  It means getting over myself a little bit.  Learning from my ex how to just feel and express things in the moment, without having to first...|||Thanks also to RunForCover and Bronzework.  Follow-up question: If the thing that counts is the thought that went into the gift, what happens when someone has simply bought the thing you asked them...|||Thanks for asking!  I only just realized that I posted this in NF instead of INFP.  Over  the past few days: After talking to various people, praying with  people, and forcing myself to look at /...|||Thanks, Shale.  You're hitting on a point I was curious about: the focus on the practical.  On the one hand, I can see ISFJ's giving great significance to gifts and wanting to treasure them.  On the...|||Authenticity = insincerity?  We INFP's dislike conflict and have a hard time expressing anything negative or anything that we fear will hurt someone's feelings.  Part of the reason is dislike of...|||Thank you to Jehneefer and CandiedViolet for your thoughtful and informative responses.|||Thanks, ISFheyyy!  That definitely wasn't too much detail, and the specific examples of gifts you gave and gifts you received were great.  I'm still interested in other or different answers as well....|||ISFJ's, what is your attitude toward returning or exchanging a gift that someone has given you?  Do you do this often, sometimes, not at all?  Does it affect the sentimental or emotional value of the...|||Most of the time, time has done wonders (as I knew it would).  I've gotten back together with an ex-girlfriend once before.  That was rather different, because our breakup was caused by external...|||I'm sorry to hear that!  I've been in a similar place before, and I know you must be feeling so hurt and lost now that sometimes you can't stand it.  She's probably avoiding you because she knows...|||Thanks, Lollicat.  It helps a lot just to hear from someone who understands.  (Most of my friends, I think, find my breakup completely incomprehensible.)  I'm sorry to hear about the fights, and I...|||Yes, exactly:    I'm in awe of how wholeheartedly and completely she was able to love me.  It tears me up that I wasn't able to always be the same way with her.    Also yes.  The bind was...|||As an INFP I reserve the right to feel bad for the relationship not working, as well as for my current bemuddled state.  Also for the weather, things that happen to fictional characters on...|||Thanks, M. and Enigma.  Intellectually, I agree with what you both said.  Emotionally, though, I'm a jumble.|||Just unloading a bit, really.  I broke up with my ISFJ ex-girlfriend one year ago, almost to the day.  From the start we had had a charmed relationship: little synchronicities and coincidences,...|||Interesting post, Teddy, and I'm glad to have said something that you found helpful.  I can identify more with your friend's high school experience: it was a fair amount of work at times, but that...|||Note to self: You have to communicate your feelings to someone, somehow.  Even when those feelings suck.  Especially then.|||All the time, honestly.|||I suppose some may.  I've just got a little bit of Tourette syndrome, myself.|||Systemizing=36 Autism=12  Simon Baron-Cohen is a very interesting guy.  I wonder how other INFP's do on the mind the eyes quiz?  I got 28, although I'll admit I have taken it before, a couple of...|||Ha, it's funny to see this sort of rule written out explicitly.  I automatically do this to some degree, and it can explain why there are certain people who reliably lose my attention after about...|||This is a bit difficult to answer, since a lot of quite different things can fall under the heading of condescension -- not all of them entirely negative.  Do you care whether somebody is being...|||I was thinking of asking a similar question here.  I'm not a writer, but I do need to write from time to time.  And it's like pulling teeth.  As I'm trying to write one thing, my mind jumps around to...|||Doesn't your username allude to a deliberate armoring of one's heart?  A suppression of emotion in favor of logic, because emotion is uncontrollable and too dangerous?  Or maybe I'm reading too much...|||More seriously, I can relate to what you're saying.  And it's not just fear, or repression, or inarticulateness, or anything like that.  I can be quite articulate, and even in situations where I'm...|||I can identify with this, except I'm trapped inside yourself.  And I would like to request you send some oreos this way, plz.  (j/k)|||Hi Teddy, I haven't posted in this part of the forum before, but I just want to say that I find your posts insightful and helpful.  Perhaps like many NF people, I have had some difficulties in life...|||I can relate to being hot and cold; I've had relationships in which I  went through such cycles.  However, I would usually associate the kind  of giddiness and nervous excitement you describe with...|||When I was near the end of high school, I randomly picked up a volume of Fear and Trembling and The Sickness Unto Death  from my parents' bookshelf.  I think one of them must have read it for ...|||The Amish have an idea that I really like.  For them technology is not good or bad in itself, but every new thing must be judged by how it fits with their values and their mode of life and work. A...|||There's a moment of panic each time the phone rings.  It's not just the talking on the phone itself -- I don't love love love phone conversations, but I don't really dislike them either.  It's more...|||My brother (also INFP) is the same way as you.  The opposite for me.  I don't *like* conversation in the bathroom, but I think I could pee on stage with an audience and a live TV broadcast.|||I just finished a three-hour conference call.  As an attempt at staying focused, I volunteer to take the meeting notes.  It helps -- a little bit.  There are still large gaps in the middle where my...|||I know this feeling!  Have to just bite your tongue sometimes to avoid derailing the conversation.  I think it's OK to still let yourself say the really good ones. :-)|||I am a terrible procrastinator, and my mind wanders aimlessly in lectures and meetings.  I always did very well academically -- mainly by figuring things out for myself rather than by studying,...|||Ugh, how dreadful.  That sounds like the miserable flinch game that certain kids played in middle school.  I pretend to punch you.  If you flinch, then the rules of the game entitle me to...|||I like a little bit of competition.  But my ideal is for everyone to make a good showing, and I don't care very much about winning.  I do feel uncomfortable if anyone is left too far behind.  The...|||Gosh, IAmOrange, I have trouble writing messages to people in general for the same reasons!  Just remember that you're a much harder reader and editor of your own words than anybody else will be. ...|||I agree with you that it was an interesting read.  And I see the value in exploring such ideas.  But on the whole, I found the essay facile and self-serving.  Or perhaps it was written to be...|||It strikes a note of melancholy sentimentality: the idea that our time is limited, and those we love also won't be around for ever.  I guess it doesn't evoke as strong a reaction because that's an...|||Do your parents understand you in general? :-/  Self-study is great, but you have to possess a lot of discipline, motivation, and consistency before it will take you very far.  If you have those...|||If it means anything, I believe that you can and will see this through.  Please do talk to someone or post here when you feel like you don't have any outlet for what's going on.|||Sure, sometimes.  It strikes me then as odd, even absurd, to be a specific person standing there in a specific place, waving around these curious long assemblages of atoms that are somehow part of...'