'All this, yes . . . :(|||I let my friend pay when we go out.  I don't have an issue with it.  I bring food and treats over to his home all the time and we've gone out so seldomly that when we do go out, I let him pay.  But,...|||thanks dotsandloops and jmmm  he's definitely extremely introverted, believes a physical connection ought to be spiritual and magical, is all about connecting and authenticity and talks about...|||The problem for me has been mixed signals.  I think for my friend, his entire life has been dedicated to building his professional and intellectual life.  Socially, romantically, he's the best and...|||My INFJ and I aren't talking right now. He's been very hot and cold during our relationship 3 1/2-4 months), sometimes being the most loving nurturing person on earth and other times seeming almost...|||I would say maintain the connection with her as friends if you can and not look at this as a failed attempt.  It sounds like you haven't made too many attempts so I'd say for maybe one of your first...|||Could not agree more.  There are a million ways to read various signs and then later you find out or figure out that what was really going on was 1,000,001 and you thought of all other 1,000,00 ways....|||I am not going to humiliate my friend. He almost surely knows that I know he lied to me but I won't bring it up to him. I'm going to let him out gracefully and let him contemplate that and hopefully...|||so how would an infj feel if they suddenly realized that the person they lied to had found out about the lie(s)?  defensive and/or angry, or would they feel badly in any way?|||I've been seeing my INFJ for just about three and a half months. I'd say I'm well on my way to falling in love with him. We've been seeing each other once a week for the last three months and talk...|||GoldOldDreamer sounds like my INFJ friend who was single for a very very long time (over a decade) and then got into a bad relationship which ended just over a year ago and then became very cautious....|||ha ha--my favorite is these aren't the droids you're looking for|||I've thought the same exact thing--how to work on relationship issues unless you're in one is like trying to make a painting without a canvas.    I would think it might be harder for INFJ males to...|||I have to say that I have a problem with this--no one is being done any favors by going along with something you don't want. You just delay and increase the hurt that will inevitably be dished out...|||It doesn't sound to me like you invaded her personal space so much.  If she got back together with this guy, the feelings were already there for him and anticipating getting back together with him...|||the sad part about that is that it might be that the woman/girl you're feeling this way about, could be thinking exactly the same thing about you.  this morning my infj sent me an email saying we're...|||Mine definitely can--very silly:)|||Early on, neither of you knows how you feel.  The idea of it is to spend some time together and figure out how you feel.  You aren't leading anyone on unless you tell them you feel great about them...|||It does sound confusing--we need more info.|||Think of it as giving a gift to someone, telling them why you feel as you do.  Everyone wants to feel special and appreciated.  If I think about my INFJ friend and why I feel for him as I do I can...|||Oh, heck yes.  If I learned that the guy I was seeing, or a guy who professed to have interest in me, had slept with someone else, I'd drop the relationship like a hot potato.  Either:  a)  he's...|||So Theosophie, if someone came to you, you'd be more likely to commit? You don't want to initiate it, but if the feelings are there for someone, you'll sign on more easily if they ask you for a...|||When I read your reply, Thomas, I felt like you had really hit the nail on the head.  INFJs just don't act like most guys (in pretty refreshing ways) but it is like learning a new language really.  I...|||hmmm. still confused. my infj is still up on a dating site, tells me he is just interested in friends but not like we are friends, i.e., holding hands, snuggling, etc., that his relationship with...|||Happy to hear that:)  I'm seeing him tomorrow night also and made a favorite bread of his for him.  Thanks.|||Ok INFJs--relationship question.  It's my b-day this weekend and I wasn't going to tell my INFJ friend (we've been seeing each other for three months, but moving very slowly romantically) because I...|||I'm sorry this turned out this way:(  I think you did what was respectful to you also--no guessing, struggling or ongoing torture.  I'm a little surprised--I tend to see most INFJs to be like you...|||If that's your only reservation, I'd say dump it.  Truly--all you want to do is tell him the truth.  If he's momentarily unhappy, but you are truthful, what's the worst that can come of that?  I...|||I hope you'll reconsider this, at least until you talk to him. I think you're reacting with fear and that your mind is so full of options that it's exhausting and it's easier to leave than address...|||Don't treat it like it never happened--that's the cliche trying to pop an elephant under the rug.  The same thing happened with my INFJ--we slept together way too quickly, and now we stepped back...|||My gut reaction is to say yes, do that. But, a little more context--how old are you guys?  Does she have her own place or where is she staying?  Would you like to stay with her?  Since the physical...|||don't be so self conscious about being clingy.  i'd text her/contact her twice a week, ask how she's doing, is everything what she expected it be, what does she love about the experience, her...|||I found just by telling my INFJ friend what my concerns/worries were, he was super responsive, invited my dad and nine-year old over for dinner, told me we would invite my best friend and her husband...|||a little complicated to explain what happened, but the lesson i learned after talking about it all with him last night is that i can let my fears swallow me whole and my friend is probably guilty of...|||Agree with these.  I'm doing this with a friend right now.  Part of me feels badly but she's too often cruel and ultra materialistic and I feel like we just don't share a similar value system.  She...|||Well, I'm relieved that it's not scary stalking!  I've had two stalkers in my life--one was scarey, seriously ill and it took the police to shut him down.  The other was just invasive and troublesome...|||Two that I know aren't--they're very straight forward.  Two that I know are the most complex people I've ever known in my life.  The two who aren't as complex, at least to me, are female.  The one I...|||I'm so sorry you are going through all of this.  It sounds brutal and I can  hear that you feel shredded.  i can't believe someone would call a friend's art boring.  that would hurt me to the core. ...|||I'm going to tell him what happened, not in an accusatory way.  And I'm going to bring back his stuff.   I'm going to say that I had an awkward thing happen yesterday.  That a friend of mine...|||He contacted her not knowing she is my friend. Every week he is warm and nurturing, telling me I should feel nurtured and warm when I'm with him or I shouldn't spend time with him. He keeps limes in...|||Would someone please help me with some perspective?  I've been seeing an INFJ for three months, every weekend, as of this weekend. When I'm with him, he's very sweet, affectionate, seems open and...|||oh, please don't.  why?  don't do that--no need for that at all.  i only find it funny because i feel exactly the same way:)|||In this strong place of frustration/confusion.  I love this INFJ friend of mine and worry about him.  I see him every week, but know he suffers from deep depression.  Part of me feels like he isn't...|||oh my gosh, that's funny----how direct can you get?  love it:)  I need a 900 calorie burning work out tomorrow, to curse 10,000 times in my head, all because I love a depressed person who doesn't...|||Glad life has gotten easier for you.  Was there anything in particular that helped you make that shift?  I'm an ENFP, rarely depressed, but often anxious.  I've thought about doing volunteer work for...|||Is there anything you think someone could do/could have done to support you?  I always wonder what to do for my friend--send him a loving pic, leave dinner at his door so he doesn't have to think...|||Guys,  If I think my INFJ friend might be in a particular funk today should I be reaching out to him or leaving him alone to trust him that he can get through it?  I was just going to send him a...|||dotsandloops, what does it mean to take a lot of time?  I've been with my infj for three months, and he's wonderful, always has depth, and during one of our last get togethers was surprisingly...|||This seems so true.  My guy looks as calm and centered as I can imagine anyone could look, and then all of a sudden he'll tell me the most amazing things about himself, what he was like as a child,...|||She sounds a little like my INFJ.  Nice beginning, then major hiccup, got it back together, and then I (an ENFP) took the lead and now it's going well.  I take the major risks, but he's going with...'