'Jojo354  Just to get this straight: This thread is called Why do people dislike ESFJs?, so I will presume that you write this because you dislike this ESFJ you are describing?  (I'm kinda hoping...|||I would say ENFP.  The main reason is because your description shows some reliance on Si (morning routines, reliving the past in detail), plus all the reasons for Ne already mentioned.  As far as...|||I have typed as an INTP sometimes. My Te side is very well developed, and I use it to analyze and pick problems apart a lot.   Tests often ask you about your behaviour, not your actual thoughts and...|||OOH noes, don't try to lure them with cake, any real gamer will know that the cake is a lie.     (.... sorry, I couldn't resist....)  :tongue:|||I would like to say that I have an answer for you, but I don't. You are not stupid, I'm sure, and you could probably choose to not get into a fight if you wanted to, with your own methods or with...|||In general, in my opinion if an INFP says it's over, it really is over. We need to feel that the person we are with is the really the one. However in this case there are outside factors that might...|||I find that I have no chemistry with ENFPs. They can do the same as I can, but prefer to do it different. I can most definately see it happen with the right person, but then that would be true for...|||Oh yes, I agree with that... As much as introverted people need to have their alone time respected, an extraverted person need to be respected for actually needing interaction to recharge their...|||This is exactly the OP's problem, as demonstrated here... Not to jump on you personally at all, but this is a typical example of how extroverts think that introverts don't actually need alone time,...|||I have the same... and I have already started, despite people being negative, just kept going. And they STILL think it's unrealistic.  It comes down to this, and you might need to say this to their...|||You are helping.. :)   As for the question... well... I have no clue if he is attracted to me physically. I can never tell if someone is or isn't unless they outright tell me. Playing games is not...|||If you don't mind me asking: How do you mean that you don't know if it's for everyone? In general? Or did you mean for me, or for my ESFJ? Or for me and him? If it's the last one... I would be...|||I've been thinking and rearranging the pieces to the puzzle a bit since last week (plus been really sick) so forgive me for taking time to get back...   First of all - the practical reasons (that...|||It's interesting that you say that, almost as a fact... because it must be that way for you. I could think of so many different reasons for how he has been acting, that it's driving me crazy, but I...|||Thank you so much for your thoughts, gurlygurl!  I haven't had much time to reply, and I don't now either so I will have to get back again later.  Just one question: Why do you say that I have...|||Hi ESFJs, it's me again...   I have a very long thread already about this specific ESFJ, but I thought I would save people from having to get through several pages of INFP walls of text, and get...|||Be glad you have a panic button, it helps you weed out ones that aren't the right for you.  So don't be selfish and think you are the only one they could ever love - let them go to find someone who...|||That made me smile, thank you! Here is an INFP hug back!!  What you wrote made me understand so much more about how he sees things than just our last conversation - also his interactions with other...|||First of all, I'm happy for you that you two are talking. The way you wrote about it makes me think that you have something real and genuine there despite everything. I hope that at least you can...|||You have really helped me to get some insight into what might have been going on from his point of view during our last conversations. He absolutely puts other people before himself at all times,...|||I wasn't able to easily pick out specific sentences so just bolded parts.  Yes, exactly that. This is where I am stuck, I think. It's not just a lack of understanding on my part - it is my...|||I don't think that I am more in tune with my emotions than any other INFP, to be honest, and I mean it. You have been wonderful to me, to the point where it feels difficult to respond fast enough to...|||Lab... I am going to go through and read this several times, and might ask you about it later on if you don't mind. I don't meditate or something like that so I think I will have to work on seeing if...|||That pesky outside world is calling me, but I do want to comment on this and more things later on.  I apologize to any ESFJs if any are still reading, for highjacking your forum :tongue:|||Nothing like someone listening to you rant then giving you a suggestion... which is what I asked for anyway...  The problem that I have is that there aren't really any places where I would run into...|||My replies are a bit all over the place in this thread, sorry.  I do know what you mean, and for sure what you describe was true for me when I wrote the first post. I can't say that I understand...|||Decided to split this post in two.   First of all - so funny to hear someone ackowledge that it takes energy to form meaningful sentences. And yet it seems it fails to make sense because I have to...|||I'm scared to admit to it after all these woe is me idolising some random guy from afar posts, but from what you write I'm quite a bit older than you. For me, the love (if it was real) never really...|||Thank you for being honest with me and you are correct that this is not a real relationship, at this point. And it truly warms my heart to hear someone say that I will be alright, even from a...|||I was very curious about this actually. I have conducted endless experiments in my own imaginary laboratory over this in a way.|||I guess the reason why I am here in this forum is:  I feel as if this is a big clash of  Fe /ESFJ (how things should be and how we should behave, regardless of personal feelings),  and  Fi /INFP...|||Thank you for your answer, stickr. Maybe a bit late in the posting/thread, but I feel I should point out that part of what is making me so frustrated is that although my story reads like a teenage...|||Seems there have been some people reading this thread, so I thought I would update. Or keep being embarrassing. Oh well.  Billet doux, if you visit the boards without logging in, I sent you my...|||I was referring mostly to the first quote but I haven't figured out quoting on the forum yet it seems.            http://personalitycafe.com/images/styles/AnimatedArena/misc/quote_icon.png...|||Who heals the healers? A lot of the whiners on the forum are teenagers/young adults who have teachers and parents to help them along with most of their problems. But finding people who deeply...|||Sorry, I'm not an actual ESFJ, none the less...   The way you describe this, she could be any type. Are there any specific things she does that you think are because she is an ESFJ that you would...|||First of all, I don't entirely disagree with the OP, but the link makes me a little bit annoyed.  The advice in that link lumps a lot of different issues together as if they were the same. Sounds...|||You belong here with me, where I can love you. And I belong close to you, where nothing can hurt me. In all the possible futures I see for us, I can't see one where we wouldn't be happy.|||I actually looked into getting professional help for shyness/social phobia because I thought perhaps that is what I was suffering from. But it just didn't fit with me at all. Basically, it amounts to...|||Hello :)  I haven't posted much either, mostly lurking. The best part with the INFP forum seems to be though that you don't have to explain endlessly only to get a Hmm.. weird... back after you...|||Letting your ESTJ shadow do your posting is always a bad idea...      (absolutely no offense to actual ESTJs meant)|||Thank you brady as well.  Our situations might be different but in a way your thoughts do help me. In one way I have taken the first few steps in going out and taking pictures, but I experiment a...|||I'm very happy to hear that advice, since it is one of the things that I have thought myself that I need to try to do.   Both my parents are Ts and I guess for that reason I tend to try to behave...|||Feel kinda self conscious asking for advice about this, but I'm getting desperate to be honest.... Some practical advice to how to device a strategy when I hate following routines - but I clearly...|||Thank you for your response.... at least it seems I'm not alone in my experience. I'm starting to lean towards thinking male ESFJs are victims of their own expectation to behave in a way that a man...|||Thanks for your answer :) It did make me feel better at least.  I'm not sure if the answer is to find someone ok. A couple of times I have settled for someoneok I can learn to love them but I...|||ENFJs can be very difficult for the people close to them since they don't normally show their true self to most people, and can have a hard time opening up, then you get to take a lot of bad things...|||Since this was asked by an ENFP and there have been a few comments from other ENFPs in the thread, I am going to base my answer on a male ENFP friend I have and spend a LOT of time with (like 10+...|||Please if you need practical details etc, ask me questions or for clarifications :) This is perhaps a little bit abstract but I tried my best to describe my issue....  First of all - there has...'