What do you mean? We're both sure we want to marry each other, but we're not in a hurry to do it now. If we change and don't want to be together anymore, then we break up. :-/|||Haha, we started dating in college, so we're still a little young. I'm in medical school right now and I have absolutely no time to get married at the moment. We have a mutual understanding though...|||I'm not an ESFJ guy so I don't know if I'll be of much help, but just push yourself to approach him and ask him about something he's interested in. The ESFJ guys I know will know how to take it from...|||I've had 2 relationships. One lasted 9 months. My current one has gone on for 3.5 years. I tend to be pretty committed pretty quickly. I take my relationships seriously and expect the other person to...|||INTJs and ESFJs are not duals. INTPs and ESFJs are duals. In socionics, an INTj actually corresponds to an INTP in MBTI because the last letter is reversed for introverts. INTJs and ESFJs are...|||I guess I can kind of relate to this. When I get really mad, it feels (to me) like my emotions are shutting down and I'm looking at the situation with cool, detached logic. But in reality, I'm...|||I cry a lot. Then when I get tired of crying, I invite friends over and they provide a good distraction for a while. Then once they leave, I feel cripplingly lonely and start crying all over again....|||My guess is she's too afraid of dropping them for fear of being lonely. If she is a widow and these are her only friends, I can totally understand why she keeps them around. She's lonely and their...|||As a teenager, I fought with my ESFJ mom constantly. We couldn't be in the same room together without getting into an argument that ended with us screaming that we hated each other. It was...|||I would try to distance yourself from him so he has some time to recover from the disappointment. No one likes to be led on. Just to make sure he isn't confused and hurt though, I would send him a...|||I'm an ESFJ who had an INTP boss for a while. I had a friend in high school who I think was an INTP as well.   Positives of INTPs: I love how curious and contemplative you are about the world. I...|||It really depends on the individual ESFJ and INTJ. Not all ESFJs and not all INTJs have the same interests. My dad is an INTJ and I'm an ESFJ. We both like to read, so we'll read in the same room...|||I only ever stonewall people I'm really angry at. I had a bad habit of doing it with my boyfriend, but I've since stopped that habit. If you told an ESFJ you liked him and he stonewalled you, then he...|||I know I have a problem being objective, which is why I like objective people so much! My ISTJ boyfriend is really good on calling me out when I'm being too emotional.|||I understand where you're coming from. My mom is an ESFJ and she also holds ridiculous views like these sometimes. Even as an ESFJ myself, I find it hard to tolerate. I remember her saying once that...|||Every time we start one, it gets little to no activity and is eventually buried. So then someone else comes along and starts a new one. We really need to get one stickied, if the mods are listening...|||Why is this confusing? ESFJs aren't the type of people who are going to say something that we think would hurt someone else. I worked for an INTP I didn't like before, but that hasn't soured me to...|||I, along with the other ESFJs I know, am usually too busy to browse PerCafe on a regular basis. I check the ESFJ forums maybe once every week or so, find it dead (as usual), and then continue on my...|||My favorite classes were English/literature and psychology. Least favorite by far was math.|||I love talking to strangers, and I do it all the time. I've talked to people at the grocery store, on the subway, at the gym, in cafes, you name it. We're probably one of the types that are most...|||Yes, hobbit life would be great. Hobbits just love being comfortable and happy, and so do I!|||She sounds kind of immature, to be honest. Is this her first relationship? I acted a lot like that when I was dating my first boyfriend in high school. ESFJs are, by nature, kind of clingy in their...|||I wish I knew more INTPs. Seriously, you guys are impossible to find. Where are you all hiding?|||My best friend's an ESFP. I feel like we're an unlikely pair, but we just feel so comfortable around each other and have such a fun time together. We can talk about feelings until the sun comes up,...|||Blessing - When I used to volunteer as a patient aide at hospitals, I would be able to walk into someone's room, strike up a conversation with them, and half an hour later, they'd be telling me about...|||I love dealing with other people's emotional problems! I'm thinking of going into psychiatry because I like it so much. My strategy is usually to listen to them talk until they get everything they...|||Everyone likes ENFPs. I've had some ENFP friends in the past and we have a lot of fun with our shared Ne, but I find them hard to get close to. They have so many friends, but not a lot of close...|||My ISTJ is often mistaken as extroverted. He can be very loud and social when he wants to be, and I initially thought he was an extrovert too when I first met him. However, there are small clues that...|||Thank you! Calvin is my kindred spirit.|||I'm originally from the deep South. I'm confused as to what you're asking us here. Are you asking us whether the husband is a sex addict? If he has a mental illness? Because it just sounds like he's...|||I love introverts! I wish I knew more INTPs. I've only really known one, and he was my old boss, so that was a different kind of relationship. I wish I could be friends with more INTPs!|||I love ISFJs. They've made some of my best friends throughout my life. We just click so easily and seem to innately understand each other. They are the most comforting type to me. Their only downside...|||inregardstomyself I second the pet peeve of people with big egos. There's nothing that turns me off more than arrogance. My other big pet peeve is people who are constantly late. Not just like 10-15...|||Hi there! I'm an ESFJ who was an English and Biology double major in college and am now in medical school. I never really considered teaching, but medicine was always my dream. I don't know anything...|||I relate to this completely. I have lost touch with a lot of friends over the years because I'm just really bad at initiating contact with them and they take it personally. Sometimes I'll think to...|||I agree with Eckis. He doesn't sound like an ESFJ to me, or if he is one, he is young/immature. I did a lot of oversharing back in middle school and in early high school (like complaining about how...|||I don't hate INTPs. I haven't really met many, but the ones I've met that I think are INTPs are pretty interesting people. They are the type I am most fascinated by!    @Nyanpichu: I love INFPs!!...|||You hit the nail on the head. Everyone comes here to post about their overbearing ESFJ moms but I'd bet everything I owned that a lot of those moms are mistyped. It just so happens that ESFJs have a...|||Yes, as much as I need to be around people 90% of the time, I really savor the moments when I'm alone because that's when I get to mull things over in my head. People are very distracting (in a good...|||Okay, in that case, I got 14 breaths per minute.|||Isn't self-measurement of respiratory rate inherently flawed because we have conscious control over it? As soon as you're aware that someone is measuring your breathing, your breathing changes. The...|||I love introverts and at this point in my life, I think I understand introversion, but that wasn't until after I lived with introverted roommates and met my introverted boyfriend. We are pretty much...|||Definitely just hop in. ESFJs have a hard time admitting they need help. We like to pretend we're superhuman in our ability to take care of ALL the people. Even if he protests, help him out and...|||I'm pretty disorganized. I'd say my room is moderately messy about 90% of the time. So no, not all ESFJs are organized. And not all perceivers are messy! One of my good friends is an INFP and he's...|||I am definitely an ESFJ! How is that for commitment, Retsu? :P   In actuality, on the most recent test I took, I got ENFJ, but I still stand by my original typing.   Slogo: What type did you think...|||Welcome! There actually are ESFJs on PerCafe...we just check our own forum very sporadically.|||My mom is an ESFJ and my dad is an INTJ. As an ESFJ, I've had quite a few INTJ men pursue me as well. I've found INTJs attractive in the past, and I also get along fairly well with them as friends....|||This is so true. I was definitely an over-achiever in high school. Valedictorian, editor-in-chief of the newspaper, president of a bunch of other clubs, member of three different music ensembles. I...|||I'm interesting with change. I like constant change for small things (new cereals, new smartphones, new TV shows) because I get bored of those things easily, but with big change, I freak out. I get...|||Sorry for dropping off the grid there...I was jogging when I got the notification from this thread and then I forgot to respond to it when I got back. But of course, you don't care. :P  What makes...