'Doesn't sound like you were ever able to truly be yourself in this relationship.   Why do you stay in this relationship?  Simply because you do not want to hurt him?    Care about yourself first....|||I think you have to open up to the world in the same way others to do you.  It's a trust thing.  My ENFP sometimes says she feels like she always has to be happy-go-lucky, and when she isn't no one...|||Good.  You probably need it.    But how do you think she's feeling right now?|||So what does a compromise look like to you?  How do you see ideal happiness achieved?|||Perhaps take a look at the long-term, big picture.  And take a Zen approach to the situation - that's an ISTPs best.    Do you see yourself being happily married to this woman where each of you...|||There is so much more to interpersonal compatibility than personality type.  It's only a part of the puzzle piece.|||MBTI and Socionics are not directly comparable in my experience.  Although it is interesting how the descriptions of how a type uses each function is comparable to the same type in MBTI.     Since...|||Useful is relative to what you intend to do with yourself.  Would you spend time learning Latin?  I did well in all my history classes, but I remember very little of it.  It was interesting to learn,...|||Don't you have to prevent others from winning in order to win yourself?    I have seen him typed as INTJ before.  Seems to fit.  He is an analyst/strategist.  Not an opportunist like an ISTP would...|||It's one thing to have walls separating you from the rest of the world.  It's another to have walls separating you from yourself.    The thinking comes naturally.  Sometimes I have to consciously...|||It's only difficult when we don't communicate our thoughts and feelings.  When we do, we understand each other perfectly.  I even intuitively understand what she needs and wants without her...|||I've found it to be more useful than MBTI simply because the primary focus is on type interactions, understanding the mechanics of personality theory, how my cognition interacts with another type.  ...|||Funny.       After 13 years, he's still unaware and unused to her behavior.  :laughing:|||Description of conflict relation.  ENFJ is looking for Fe, ISTPs vulnerable function.  Conflict partners just don't communicate in the same way, they expect something the other doesn't want to give. ...|||It's interesting, how two of the ISTPs married to ENFJs have essentially described their relation of conflict, despite not knowing anything about Socionics.  You don't speak each other's language -...|||Learn something useful.  That's why everything is boring to you.  That's why I've never retained most of the stuff I learned throughout school.  ISTPs are concerned with efficiency and...|||I value efficiency.  But I also don't like the feeling of being frustrated.  It's unneeded stress.  Takes away from my calm state of mind.    If there's something I can do to move the situation...|||Socionics describes the ISTP/ENFJ dynamic as relations of conflict.  There is a similarity that attracts, and differences that repulse.  It's difficult to fully be myself around ENFJs, and having to...|||ENFPs are a perfectly strange mix of what I look for in a female.    Mine is feminine, but not too much.  She wants to be seen as pretty, but it's not a priority for her, because she knows there...|||She understands his point of view.  She can explain the situation, his thought process.  Does that make him right and her wrong?  Both are right, from their own perspective.      But that doesn't...|||But what about you?  You perceive the problems.  He simply refuses to see it in any way other than his own.  You can understand his point of view, why can't he see yours?  Point that out to him.  Is...|||That is selfish.    That's what love is about.  Giving someone what they need, even if it doesn't make sense to you, even if you wouldn't want it yourself.    What does giving to you really take...|||Sounds like maybe he's keeping you hooked, as a backup.    Or perhaps he just really enjoyed connecting with you, and wants to keep you as a friend.   I'd limit how much energy you give to him. ...|||This is the same situation I'm currently in, just on the other side.  ENFP has toned down communications with me, now I'm doing all the work.  It's not a natural place for me to be in, so it's very...|||This is useful insight.   However, my ENFP was the one who initiated the communication, and I obliged since I enjoyed maintaining and strengthening the connection between us.    And when she was...|||I didn't perceive the question as having to do with how decisions are made or how we feel.  But my body is a machine.  It's predictable and limited in movement and capabilities.  I feel best when...|||My intuition is weak.  And it's secondary to sensing.  And it works in the opposite direction as yours - your Ne vs my Ni.  So while your Ne is going wild with big picture possibilities, my Ni is...|||She keeps saying we need to figure out what we want.  I was confused by that because in my mind I'm wondering what can we have that we don't have already?    I think it's an issue of her not...|||Work is making myself useful, to myself and the world around me, while being as efficient as possible.  Proudly cut many corners.  I need to put my highest self into everything I do, whether it's a...|||Yes, it took me days to realize that, meditating to clear heart and mind.  At first I took it as rejection, I was hurt and angry.  But it's just her way of making me decide and go after what I want. ...|||I can in a sense.  My body is a biological machine to be studied and understood, maintained and tuned, like all the other machines in my life.    I enjoy moving in my body.  The feeling of inner...|||I've experienced semi-duality with a close ENTP friend.    It was always a mentally stimulating interaction - I needed Ne from him, he needed Si from me.  But we annoyed each other just as much as...|||This is something that you should just know!  :laughing:  Come on, you're good at seeing the big picture.  So here you have a person who has basically never shared their inner self with anyone in...|||Fear of manipulation, loss of control of our emotions, rationality being overwhelmed, that you will take what you want, and leave a mess when you're done.  We must trust that you can see the...|||I've told her that.  She knows how I feel without me saying it.  She can read me in a way that's scary.   All this is making my head spin.  I'm just going to float for a while and see where I end...|||Bonds can be rebuilt.  Perhaps it's important to analyze relationships and obligations in terms of need.  What do I need?  What is holding me back from figuring out what I want?  I don't think it's...|||Ok, so this is all the same stuff that's frustrating me.    I look at things realistically.  If a relationship status is defined, what changes?  We spend more time together?  We already spend as...|||Absolutely not.  But you're right in a way.  If she's always telling me what she wants and needs, how does she know what I'm giving is truly coming from me?    A part of me wants to tell her that...|||It's not hard looking back after it's done.  But it's hard understanding what she needs to hear from me, and what I have to say.  She never told me what she needed.  We were both upset, and in trying...|||It wasn't really hard, because it was something I ultimately wanted to do.  It only seems difficult in the mind because we have the perception of vulnerability.  We lay something on the table and...|||You need to make your wants and needs known to him.  If he cares, then he will do what he can to accommodate these.    If he continues to seem like he doesn't care about your wants and needs, then...|||ENTp is the infantile, ISFp is the caretaker.    In the theory of duality, an ENTp is seeking help with Si - feeding himself, taking care of his daily needs, physical health, pleasant sensations...|||I playfully tease my ENFP friend when I'm in a giddy mood.  But it's always about things she does, has, says, that I think are cute.  She's kinda crazy, so I'm intrigued by her.  We both laugh about...|||Perhaps you should stop thinking of her in terms of need.  If you don't need her, then you have no regrets losing her.  A partner is not someone to be owned.    Take care of yourself.  Improve...|||I think she loves and cares about you.  That's likely why she bought you gifts. But in no way does that mean either of you are good for each other in a relationship.    A healthy relationship can...|||That could be true.   However, I would think that other's perception of us is likely much more objective than our own perception of ourselves.  Like if you were to watch a video of yourself, you...|||Perhaps instead of focusing so much on her, why don't you focus on your own needs?  Are you in this relationship because you want to be with her or you need to be with her?    Is this interaction...|||Likeness eventually gets boring.   But it's useful as well.  Relating and being understood effortlessly.  Speaking the same language.  Connecting to similar people with different life experience.|||I think that is relative to the topic.  I certainly relate to it.     If someone reaches out to me, perhaps based on feelings they think they perceive from me, my rationale is that I have no...|||I admire people with art on their bodies.  I'm just not sure what I could ever commit to having permanently on my body.    It would have to be incredibly meaningful and personal, at an important...'