'I am dreading my birthday. I feel all this pressure to make sure I'm happy and feel special, and right now my life is so screwed and my mood is so bad that I don't feel capable of celebrating. I feel...|||For me, it isn't about what he wants going forward or anything, it is simply and absolutely just about ONE thing - in what way is he attracted to me - whether it is just physical/platonic or...|||No, I don't understand this. If I did, I wouldn't be wasting my time asking something on here that I already understand.   And besides, your observation wasn't really what I was talking about -...|||Why does everyone think that just because I am reading the situation it means I am trying to know something with 100% certainty? Those are two completely different things.   People read situations,...|||I said I am not trying to know for sure based on this conversation!  I said that I am just trying to see if it is a negative signal, or completely neutral. I said I am just trying to make sure I am...|||Ok wait I think we are talking about way too many things here and I want to keep it one step at a time.   So it's really interesting and helpful to hear your ideas on how I can approach the topic....|||How would I even bring this topic up, and what would I even say? You know this is INTP forum right? Fe isn't exactly my strong point.     It would be nice to know now if he likes me, but it isn't...|||yeah basically. I think there is a difference between just being physically attracted to someone and wanting their body vs actually liking someone romantically and wanting to connect with them in...|||well I was just wondering, when you said take it slow, what did you mean by that? and all I want are the feelings. if he is into me in more than a physical way (feels a connection, likes me...|||-because he already said he couldn't hang out, so it would have been pestering for me to say I want to hang out again, after he already said no -I don't mean cuddling, I mean being intimate minus...|||ohh wait so you don't think I should ask him for clarifications? I'm confused, most other people in this thread were telling me to ask him, but you are saying to take it slow....so how do I take it...|||- I was scared. I thought maybe he freaked out because he thought I was expecting some kind of romantic birthday dinner that you'd have with a boyfriend and expecting him to make it special for me,...|||Hello, I think I need to make more clarifications  1. It was sort of a bluff, I have one other friend who I will be hanging out with, but not a group ...   2. We aren't having sex. Hooking up...|||Reporting with an update:  I had responded to his rejection saying don't worry about it! I'm going out with a few people on Saturday, feel free to come if anything changes  He said okay sounds...|||Oh ... so the reason you suspect he isn't interested is not because of anything he did, but because of what I'm doing?   Well, the reason I am asking you is because I don't see anything obvious...|||Also just to clarify something - when he said class events I don't think he was talking about schoolwork. I think his finals are this week during the week, and he has like class organized parties...|||I guess I sort of saw them as related. As in, the reason why he gave this rejection response is relevant to how he feels. For example, if he did not want to hang out with me, that might imply he...|||Does that mean that whatever interest he had before is gone now and he lost interest and doesn't want to hang out with me anymore? Or does it mean that his interest level remains the same, but he...|||so his response does mean that he doesn't want anything to do with me anymore?|||Okay I asked him - I said - would you want to hang out? we could celebrate my and you being done with exams too!  And he said ahh idk if I can this weekend because I have class events both nights...|||I made a huge mistake. I ruined everything. I went ahead and asked him if he would want to hang out. But I realized.....now that I think of it...it makes SENSE for him to be uncomfortable with it! It...|||Usually he comes over to my place and we hang out for a bit (talk or listen to music or watch a movie) and hook up but he is usually cuddly and we go to sleep and cuddle the whole night and then in...|||Really? How come you think it's normal that he didn't ask? I'm genuinely curious cos I want to understand|||Yeah I know I could ask him to hang out. It's just that I wanted to make sense of his lack of offer first. Because if his lack of offer is bad....if it means he isn't interested...then I wouldn't...|||oh I'm not having a party the other people I know aren't even in town .... I just wanted to hang out with him that night|||Hm so you don't think the fact that he didn't offer means anything?|||Oh I know, this thread is more about whether he is into me, not so much about my birthday itself|||are you saying its not a good idea to hang out with him on my birthday?|||Someone please say something (it doesnt have to be a long response) because I am getting the urge to recklessly message him about it but I really want to get someones opinion first so that I don't...|||I have been hooking up with this guy, and I really like him but am not sure if he actually likes me or just sees me as a friend with benefits.   I'm an INTP and I don't know what he is.  My...|||Looking at the possibility that he is not into me, for a second ... I'm wondering how that could have happened?  Because when we met a few days ago, he showed every sign of being into me: he came...|||Thanks I definitely think that's true. The problem is I've been overthinking SO much that I don't even know what's natural anymore, I don't know how to be myself anymore, my natural responses aren't...|||Do you think if he shows lack of interest in the conversation (by giving brief responses and not trying to make more convo) it means he has lost interest in me (lost interest in dating me)? Or do you...|||Yes I'm definitely an INTP, and I love talking about why all the time, I always analyze or compare things. I guess I didn't really have a chance to get into that with him because I was worried that...|||Thanks so much, that was very insightful. I wish I could get a chance to try what you are telling me to do but now I think it is ruined :(  In our last conversation,  I shared how much I like...|||Okay so this is probably why I'm confused:  When I am texting with him, I'll usually ask some question, and he would respond with a very excited and lengthy response, going on and on. The nature of...|||Okay so this is probably why I'm confused:  When I am texting with him, I'll usually ask some question, and he would respond with a very excited and lengthy response, going on and on. The nature of...|||You know how sometimes when you are texting you are trying to keep the conversation going, and other times you are just responding to the other person and letting the conversation end (not because...|||you do know there's a middle ground between saying something in a mean way and not saying anything at all, right|||Ok ....  well so far, we've all been talking about the possibility that he originally thought we might have potential and then changed his mind.  what about the possibility that he knew we had no...|||I know what you mean about how the truth may be too harsh to hear.   I guess I just thought that it would go something like this -   If he tells me the reason and it isn't about me, I would feel...|||Thanks for the response, but I'm kind of confused about what your point is because you basically said that my previous post illustrates that I don't properly understand the INTJ way of working, and...|||If I just met someone and went on a few dates with them and they ghosted me after like two weeks of talking, I wouldn't take it personally because of what you said - perhaps its just not a right fit,...|||it sounds like you are pretty sure the lack of potential is due to an issue with me|||FYI I'm not trying to make him change his mind about having something serious. I never said I want to change his mind.   I want to know because it hurts that he doesn't see long term potential. If...|||I have an update.   He said there's no long term potential, which is fine for a casual fling, but I didn't think you'd be interested in that.  Ok ... this is a bit confusing because it doesn't...|||thanks that's really helpful ..  it's just the reason I ask is because if he thinks we are just incompatible and doesn't like some aspect of my personality, then it isn't really fear .. it is more...|||He didn't say that though, he said he is scared, so I'm not sure if its because of incompatibility or just some sort of fear of intimacy|||do you think it means he wants it to work out with me but is scared, or that he doesn't want it to work out with me because he thinks we are incompatible?|||Ok fine'