'I thought everyone may want an update. I met with the therapist today and we have a marriage counseling session set for next Thursday. He said he would end the emotional affair and did want to try...|||He is being a coward. He text me yesterday but didn't mention wanting to meet up and talk about things. He hasn't called at all. I haven't heard from him today. I don't know that he wants to try and...|||I can emphasize with you and I'm sorry for ever hurting you (I certainly didn't mean to). I didn't even know you felt that way. I don't think it's an unforgivable offence but if we are going to work...|||I can't really take a vacation right now. Believe me, I've thought about running home to mom. He just communicated to me that he has been really unhappy for a really long time. He said when he would...|||I am certainly trying to be strong. There has been crying ( a lot of crying) and soul searching. I am really hurt. I can't even wrap my mind around the fact that there IS another woman. Even if they...|||He text me this morning. I'm sorry I kept all that from you. By the time it developed into what it did I just didn't know hwo to explain it. I don't know why I feel the need to be so secretive..  ...|||It did not go well. I asked him to be honest with me and he said okay. I asked him what was going on and he saying nothing. He just lied and lied and lied until I showed him the hard cold facts that...|||Thank you all for the advice and the prayers. I hope he admits his betrayal (regardless of the depth). I'm going to try really really try to talk to him in a calm manner. Give him the option the be...|||I've never had a problem with him having female friends, ever. I have male friends. I have found out that he has been talking to her for over a year and several hours a week. Tons of text and picture...|||1) Why are we together? 2) Do we want to stay together? 3) Why do we want to stay together? 4) What will our lives look like in 5 years if we stay together?  I'm going to do this, I need...|||Cinnamon83 So now I've taken the Enneagram test and scored a 3. It said that often, people in leadership or management (me) score an 8 but are really a 3 (the achiever). So I tried to compare the 3...|||There is certainly emotional issues, as discussed multiple times on the thread. Again, he is not showing any signs of depression although he is stressed out with work. He is still touchy feely,...|||I told him two weeks ago that if we wanted out now was the time. He doesn't want out. He isn't showing signs of depression. I've let him be several time over the past 15 months but I don't know...|||You are correct and I can sum that all up in one word communication.|||Sorry, that came out wrong. What I meant to say is, we have identified which love language we each need. I know he seeks quality time like you mentioned. He also likes gift so I pick him up little...|||Spoken like a true ENTP (this is what I would have asked too). Yes, there was pressure to get married and he even admitted to having commitment issues from his father leaving his family when he was...|||I have read it and we do have different love languages. I think we both fulfill most of them, just not the physical one (besides cuddling).|||Alles_Paletti    It's not unfixable probably but you need to restore trust. The question is not what should you do but what should you stop doing. And what you should stop doing is trying to...|||I'm not fat. I'm tiny. If that was the problem, I could fix it.|||I figured that question out. Sensitive Doers are ISFP and that fits him. But so does the ISTP - The Individualistic Doer. Could he be both?  Individualistic Doers are self-assured and very...|||Cinnamon83 I don't know enough about all of this but can an ISTP be the The Sensitive Doer ?  Sensitive Doers are gentle, modest and reserved persons. They cope well with everyday life and like...|||Well he is kind of an odd ball. The artist fits him in a lot of ways. This is a guy who called himself a hippie and a conservative at the same time. He procrastinates all the time and has been...|||It does look like I threw up all over it! Wasn't my fault - promise!|||Redhotpengy The description I found did and he would point that out but regardless... Cinnamon83- you may disagree with this...  Okay, go with me on this  Windmill Slam this may be up your ally.  ...|||I think he actually may be ISFP, a good bit more so than ISTP, although he would disagree and say I'm not sensitive.|||I think I figured out part of what he doesn't like about me...wow. (cross-posted).    ESTJ Relationships    The ESTJ is outspoken, a person of principles, which are readily and directly...|||I think I figured out part of what he doesn't like about me...wow.   ESTJ Relationships   The ESTJ is outspoken, a person of principles, which are readily and directly expressed. ESTJs are not...|||I agree and I have, that is why he is seeking professional help. It blows my mind though that he won't even try anymore. He isn't selfish so I can't fathom why he doesn't want to at least try and...|||Or text.|||CanisLycaon  He would hate that and tell me I'm not 50 shades of Gray.|||You sort of lost me on this. I am not flirting with other men now and I wouldn't do that to intentionally try to make him jealous. I was totally kidding about being kidnapped.|||Ha! If I wasn't a ESTJ I would do just that! I'm a workaholic so it's kind of like I'm not here a lot. Does that count? And I never commanded that he see a shrink, that was his idea. :-)|||CanisLycaon  Bahahaha I love it. I actually thought of this the other day but I don't know if he would go for it.   Roll-play date night - I go to the bar and tell him to meet me there and hit on...|||Windmill Slam Wow, thank you for all of that! I agree with you that he has developed J and also think he borders T and F. I like  ISTJ Strengths and Weaknesses | 16Personalities too. It's very...|||Windmill Slam Wow, thank you for all of that! I agree with you that he has developed J and also think he borders T and F. I like  ISTJ Strengths and Weaknesses | 16Personalities too. It's very...|||@ Eikichi Yes, that was kind of my norm. I would dress up cute/themed for his birthday, Christmas, Valentine's day, etc. Wear his favorite short skirt around the house or suggest we run by the adult...|||In fact, I loved it because it is so true but it doesn't help me fix the sex thing. I'm only 30 and I want to have sex with my husband. It's not a crazy thought. It's not just the act of sex but the...|||Ik3 Thank you for that! :-) I do want it to work and that is why I joined the group. Since he and his therapist think we may have a personality conflict, I thought what better place to seek advice.|||Also, you never answered my previous suggestion.  Has he been tested for low testosterone levels?  That would've been my first guess as to why someone would suddenly stop being interested in sex with...|||Perhaps. I don't think so though.|||I looked into the Socionics and I think you may be right about the Mirrors. Any good links you can share?|||I've tried that. I have the list, spreadsheets, etc. :-(|||It is an Italian opera but it also is a spin off of my last name so I'm using it as my alter ego. :-)|||Thanks for the reply. That is basically what we do every night though. Last night was chill; we cooked out, had a few drinks, talked about our day, the upcoming holiday, the news and watched a show....|||Seamaid It is cross-posted on the ISTP forum. He does certainly value his freedom and I have known that from the start. I also value mine and we don't do everything together. He is paying attention...|||Done. Sorry.|||He is a healthy 31 year old. I cook dinner most nights and cook healthy. We get out and about on the weekends. He isn't the gym type but he likes to sail and bike.|||Thanks for all of that and yes, if anyone else has insight, please help. Thanks!|||Forte  No, not even close.|||Lord Fudgingsley    The difference is, you were able to communicate that to him and my husband can't communicate anything to me. If it's not a ISTP trait, it is passive-aggressiveness that we are...'