'I see this. Humans need that social energy but we (INFJs?) seem to question when it needs to be shared and treat it with respect.    Love it, made me smile.   Sometimes I feel we think big...|||xD  I think it's the depth reached when two people mutually prioritise each other first. I've been questioning whether it is backwards, but we only seem to have so much capacity to love and support...|||I appreciate it must be difficult having split desires that are conflicting with and sabotaging each other.   Anger is satisfying but you know you'd be better off without it. I'd personally keep...|||It's nice to think of it that way but I don't think it is healthy feeling like you can't be your full fulfilled self unless you are with someone else. Especially in light of permanence or lack of....|||You see the problem here right?   I don't care that you are being sexist and I'm certainly not going to scream it. I guess I'm curiously trying to point out the contradictions and seeing what...|||Good point, I relate to this. Although I've found that I can only be my true self when in a romantic relationship. Friends and some family I can be semi-self. As unhealthy as that sounds I'm not sure...|||His post is sexist. It seems like you're trying to imply it isn't.|||People are going to assume you want advice to convince you your outlook is unhealthy, I know I did at first ;P|||I doorslam and avoid genuine people too.|||What are you seeking by sharing this?|||I tend to avoid establishing a connection with people. If a stranger is nice to me, chances are I'll respond in a standard and non-engaging way before fleeing the scene. I'll also do the same to...|||We've pretty much cut everything off. It's in a state of we don't talk unless we really need to. I'm feeling like we'll probably not speak again at all.  I can't say really why she did it besides...|||I used to be there to ground her, but my advice stopped becoming relevant the moment she made the division..  Regardless, I get the impression she is less interested in advice that might conflict...|||She has no friends IRL. This is what she does, makes decisions that leads to her isolation. Told her about a year into relationship it was a fear of mine she'd end up doing the same to me at one...|||Looks like everything has concluded. We are separated, we will not be speaking at least until she can sort herself and realise what she has done.  While she was sorting this past month turns out...|||Lets say you're going through a very stressful period and you have no control over the situation and you kind of just need to ride it out.  But you're prone to dwelling and continual analysis which...|||It sounds like Rebecca.M was saying it won't feel right until having sought & experienced for some time. My partner had no conscious desire to seek either until just recently it seems. Things felt...|||I intend to follow the advice given. When the timing is right, she still needs the space and no contact. I need her to take a first step, even if she doesn't realise she is taking it, won't matter. I...|||On a side note, when dealing with this kind of stress is it normal to be completely unable to focus at work as an INFJ? (I don't really like my job, something I've realized through all this).|||Well, considering we decided to put all decisions on hold (including separation) and I'm back in Limbo... not sure I know anything right now. In fact, I feel more lost then when during the first 2.5...|||This really is quite horrible to hear. I appreciate the insight.|||So, is the solution imaginary or real? Is it something that is chased until they realise it cannot be attained or is it something that is worked on until all feels right?  Could it mean the...|||Could you explain more? I'm not too familiar with the functions and how Fi specifically applies here.|||It's a bit unsettling to consider this, but it makes sense.|||I'll remain conscious of this, thank you. I have been following this advice so far as best I can...    This is her first truly serious and successful relationship. She has had a handful of online...|||I've learnt this the hard way.|||Sounds about right. This situation has spiralled out of control from day one. She has asked no contact unless we really need each other's support.   I'm sure she still is maturing... I'd say so...|||1 primarily, scored highly on 5 as well.|||I suppose I had an idealistic mentality going into this, she clearly adores the idea of marriage. However she had been engaged previously (age 19ish)... it wasn't a warning bell for me at the time...|||Type 4 for sure.  Sigh, so we split up, initiated no contact (unless support needed). 2 days later (so today) she contacts me because she needs support and that's where we agree to put all...|||She has said she is still in love, wants to be together. It is just that nag of a feeling that something is missing she says. While I can't ask her directly about the future, it is implied...|||Yeah didn't think I'd be back so soon but she really is struggling with everything :(  Considering how adamant she was about splitting though.. I've not much hope.|||Situation updated just now.  She reached out upset as her mum thought she was being reckless, they had a fight.  I agreed gently but telling her it is understandable given what turbulence she is...|||Situation updated just now.  She reached out upset as her mum thought she was being reckless, they had a fight.  I agreed gently but telling her it is understandable given what turbulence she is...|||Thank you for this advice, coming to these forums has helped me cope a lot.     Definitely not enfp. I would never ignore her, couldn't live with myself. Thank you for the advice, I intend to...|||She told me I didn't give her enough space to begin with, that it made the process more confusing and difficult for her.  Her mother said she was not given enough space either.  It is ironic,...|||She is stable, has no conditions. But is clearly reckless and unreliable in dealing with how she feels. Also immature. Had warning bells about this signal in the beginning but ignored them because...|||I'm put off by the thought that she has already made a decision that the moment she has something better she will drop me, as if value has been applied to me. Ironically she says all things should be...|||Yes, I feel I have a thing for them too at this point, like the intensity in which we felt and connected can't be matched generally speaking. Then the frustration that the volatility of it eventually...|||Forgiveness is part of our own path of healing. On the other hand, trusting that same person again is not necessary.  I see your point about keeping her around, although it sounds like you have...|||There are too many things it could be. -She doesn't know herself -She often doesn't love herself or know how to make herself happy -She is self-sabotaging and perpetuates self imposed prophecies...|||Yes to your whole post, highlighted things that stand out. All of it bodes true and reflected in the experience I'm having right now. That someone can validate so clearly... makes me wonder if...|||I'm expanding my target audience... need all the advice I can get.  I am male, 26, INFJ She is female, 23, INFP  We just broke up.  Original Thread (Locked):...|||We had a fallout about something while she was away at her Mums sorting through her feelings, before she was ready to make the separation. We were in a state of no contact when I broke through (it...|||I appreciate this insight. See my response to Sygma below, do you believe the advice you've given still stands?    Thank you but this is not me.  Speaking to people, journaling and meditation is...|||Thanks for the direct responses.  I'm accepting the situation as ended and intending to move forward.  If she reaches out regrettinng the split, wanting it back again... I'm not going to trust...|||I am generally cold to those I don't want to establish something with and extremely warm towards those I do want/have something with.  My feelings will run rampart in the latter situation.|||I take pride in being alone and feeling lonely while avoiding engaging with people I don't want to establish something meaningful with.  If I am unsure, I'll pursue it briefly before making up my...|||We've been together for 3.5 years, engaged... people have described our relationship as glowing and we agree.  We love each other more than anyone else we've ever been with, have no deal breaking...|||No no, I appreciate it. You obviously have a lot to give and deserve at least to have your day brightened :)'