Hello lovely INFJs,  I hope you don't mind me swooping into your forum like an emotionless vampire bat, sucking you of your wisdom. </blatant flattery>  I am a 26 y/o INTJ lady involved in a...|||Love the few ENTPs I've run into. My ENFP acquaintances make me die inside. NO LOGIC.|||I genuinely think that's down to your particular INTJ, if I'm honest. So many factors determine how *I* would respond to someone telling me they liked me directly, other than being an INTJ. Some...|||Hi INFJs,  I'm an INTJ lady with a puzzling situation with an IS/NFJ male colleague, and would appreciate any insights.  I started working in our office four months ago and quickly grew quite...|||I couldn't be bothered reading how everyone else responded, but I think that's lovely. And lovely to send in a letter rather than e-mail too.   Someone else said they'd prefer letters to have some...|||Can't speak for all INTJ women obvs, but I have consistently liked ENTP men (the ones I was able to type, anyway). It's never worked out though, so I do wonder if it's a case of, never the J/P shall...|||Injustice, towards myself or others, especially if those others are weaker. I decided to post a reply before seeing what everyone else wrote. -goes back and looks-|||After years of puzzling over this problem, and then being fortunate enough to have a close circle of 5 - 6 ENFJ friends who I can observe being sociable up close, I think it's a combination of stuff,...|||-dies laughing-|||Haha, I was well-aware it was a no-brainer...but that's why the thing's puzzled me. How does he not realise how I feel, given all that's happened! And why it's inappropriate for him to have STAYED...|||I think what you say is completely within the bounds of possibility but as you say, he isn't taking ownership of the situation, so there's just no way for me to be sure. It seems like I *could* just...|||Hello! Since I promised an update and since talking into the void evidently clears my mind a little...  To cut a long story short, we went on the non-date, and it was literally everything you'd...|||I've never been told that directly by anyone but now that you say it, I realise it's certainly been....implied by previous love interests.   The thing is, it completely confuses me. Why the f would...|||Before learning about MBTI, I found it nigh on impossible to deal with, especially in romantic relationships. It would take someone either with a less strong j or who was VERY understanding to deal...|||Thank you - your responses are all really thoughtful and sensible, and some bits really resonate.  The 'non date' is tomorrow evening, provided it doesn't get rained off. It has got even more...|||I'm enjoying this tale hugely - please keep us posted! And yes. Kept typing gravypour, then gravyapour until I realised it was two separate words.|||thegrayvapour You sound like a good egg, I'm sorry you're getting screwed around.  I have done exactly what your girl seems to be doing, so I'm just going to relay what I think might have happened....|||It's less about changing my behaviour to get him to like me - I know he likes me - and more changing it to encourage a bit of distance without seeming like a bitch...I think not hanging out with him...|||Yeah this. You can know what you want, but actually catching it is a subtle art that eludes us. Or me, anyway.|||A healthy, mature ENTP or a very understanding ISFJ. Also, another INTJ.|||Hello ISFJs. I have a problem and could do with some advice. At any rate, it'll probably help my broken heart to talk about it anyway.  I started a new job in April and have got to know someone on...|||One of my best friends is an INFP, and I often go running to him whenever I have some kind of emotional quandary. I would say not only does it reflect a level of trust on his part, but also an...|||It really depends on who I'm losing my temper with. I will lose my temper at bosses on a near weekly basis, and never apologise for it. Namely because they're incompetent and someone needs to tell...|||It is very hard to take this seriously with your avatar. Which I like very much.|||I've had thoughts along the lines of this question for many years. Before I knew what MBTI was, I felt very aware of a stigma against rational, considered women. (Maybe against rational, considered...|||Has anyone read this book? It's flawed, but one of the few occasions I've seen introversion and its advantages mentioned AND PRAISED in popular culture.  Here's a video of the author speaking at...|||I dated an INTP for two years, very happily, so yes. He was pretty handsome which helped.   In terms of not taking you seriously, in his particular instance, he was extremely bright but a continual...|||Again, that really depends on the both of you. I might put up with your changing thought processes, as long as you respected my need for you to eventually agree with a final decision. It'd be...|||I suspect he has got it bad. Poor boy.|||I like ENTPs very much, though my romantic relationships with them have always fizzled out very quickly.  Some INTJs have a clownish/whimsical side to them, which is probably as close as we get to...|||I had to Google what a Toastmasters Club was - that looks awesome/really nerdy! I think work is a pretty standard way for us to meet new chums too, post school/university. If it helps at all (since...|||lilysocks OK, I think I see what you're saying, thanks :-). I guess in that particular instance it depends slightly if your occupation CAN be done in a slightly 'rote' way, if you so choose. As I'm...|||I have different 'best friends' for different situations, and I've met them all through school or university. My childhood best friend is an IXFJ...that came about through a shared acerbic wit and...|||I feel like that's potentially useful advice, but I can't quite envisage your meaning in practical terms. Can you give me an example?|||Yes, though I feel you have a biased sample here.    Yes, but then I just watched No Strings Attached so I'm not sure if my views are coming from a healthy grounding in reality.|||An autumn walk, immediately followed by a good pub.  Fleetwood Mac.  Learning Fleetwood Mac on the piano.  Volunteering with a local homeless group (actually this is slightly misleading. It's...|||As CeresZal says, that sounds to me like she's just become (too) attached to your messages, and probably realises it/is worried by it. I distanced myself too when I felt like I was getting too...|||Ah. I basically had exactly the same experience as you, but from the perspective of the INTJ girl. You can read about that rather unhappy relationship here.  If I understood your post correctly,...|||Yes. I am openly suggesting that Phoebes83 date rapes her man into a healthy relationship :P.  In an ideal world, it's true that you shouldn't need to make someone drunk to bring out their true...|||I assume you're less interested in answers from the ladies. My dad is an INTJ however, and married to an ExxJ, so I'll try and answer from his perspective! I would say the following, though some of...|||Seconded, but then I do this to people. Completely oblivious to the possibility of a relationship (...even when I have some idea of their interest and like them as a friend) and often wake up to it...|||Yep, I'd agree with that. I actually have it written down in a kind of mental notebook to be less fixated on being correct, and more to just let people talk. Surprisingly, it's probably made me...|||I'm surprised you've come across no one like-minded among at least your professors. Again, maybe I was fortunate, but one of my great consolations through the horror that was school was having...|||A very helpful delineation, thank you.|||Inspired by this thread, I decided to ask this question - what does a healthy INTJ look like? What do they need to go through to get to a better state?   Apologies if the question's already been...|||The number of negative responses I've seen on here makes me feel a little sad. I'm curious to know how many of you saying 'no' to the thread title felt like you never found like-minded people in your...|||Actually, I think this is a fairly accurate summary of the INTJ condition:  57775|||It can literally take me years before I realise I like someone, by which stage it's usually too late. Once it's hit me I do everything that has been outlined above, namely:  1) Clam up, and become...|||Well, that's basically the opposite of everything everyone's told me! I think you're right about being proactive and aggressive, but I think I'm not keen to actively break up a relationship. I...|||Hello!  age: Mid-twenties location: London job: Journalist. Specialising in technology and business, perhaps unsurprisingly. relationship status: single meandering career: awful all-girls'...