'Male INTJs in their late 40's, early 50s are likely to be unhealthy, disillusioned and/or stubborn rather than 'immature' or is that what you meant by it? I know one very content healthy male INTJ in...|||I tried to get rid of my INTJs during the dating stages. They demand a lot, a lot, a lot at the beginning---it was not flattering but freakish. It's a form of mania, control. Maybe they just don't...|||Absolutely. Me too. I don't understand the comparison with unicorns. I have waves of creativity when it comes to romance, care, feelings etc but most of the time my ocean is very real, practical and...|||Wow! Another one! But yeah, single INTJs are certainly around that's for sure, and attractive, charming ones.   My advice/precautioun: Don't get me wrong, I'm absolutly delighted for you as I know...|||Yeah, Icy Heart, you sound like a sweet intelligent guy! Who else thinks so? :happy:  I don't throw out compliments willy nilly, so it is a compliment, of course it is. I can't really think of a...|||I can kind of see why you felt the friend was intruding a bit. But from the friend's perspective, they saw two people having issues but they saw something special there. I think it was noble of your...|||Do you mean an entire relationship where there is barely any verbal communication? Or just in repeat situations?   I could see myself adapting to the following 'looks'.   'Let's leave the party'...|||Thank you. You are just so sweet. :happy: Icy Heart. Really. I don't pick up any coldness, icyness from you at all. You've give off a warm, knowledgable glow.   Question: What do you mean by...|||With the I'm leaving etc. Were you two living together as a couple?  With the too stubborn to be the first to cave etc. Is stubborness the right term for it? Or was it more like an obstacle...|||I decided on the way to his workplace that it would be a step too far and unfair on his INTJness. I wouldn't have been right thing to do to jump the guy with those sorts of questions in his...|||Spot on.   In my experience of INTJ relationships, healthy INTJs can at least communicate on an understanding, sharing and insightful level once they get to know you to a certain point. It's as...|||Dear all,   I did it. I dropped off the baking but didn't ask to see him. I handed them over to a junior colleague because I didn't want to disturb him during work. Then I sent a message...|||Thanks Hapyniss, your insight means a lot to me and for anyone else that visits here in the future. I'm almost at the end of this. I'm taking one more shot at love, then it's over.|||I do listen. Lots of us are---the people who visit the forum during their research---they'll never join. So there's that.  You say that this happens to me so much. That is not true. I don't wish...|||I've asked him out---to meet---about 4 times in the last 2.5 months and each time he turns me down. I'm busy, I have a lot on or he just doesn't reply, so then I wait a few days and message him...|||Algorithmics   Vitamin   Icy Heart   Lucyyy   Hapyniss   With 'the muffin thing' my reasoning for doing it is a genuine gesture of affection.   I'm in a sort of doghouse/No Man's Land with my...|||Lucyyy As interesting as this Biblical debate is, it has little to do wit INTJ and ENFP relationships. Perhaps you should create a new thread with this specific question? It would be a shame for the...|||Thanks for contributing. But the INTJ I have in mind is not as guarded as you describe yourself and he is not as severe as House MD at all. But he is an INTJ. I know what you mean by it being...|||I wouldn't do anything more than prewarning message to the INTJ about the arrival of muffins + in a box + short, non-emotional note and no Marshmellow loitering around trying to glean affirmation...|||I know what you guys are saying about surprises so I if I do do it, I'll send a friendly forewarning phone message.   The thing is, this INTJ love isn't exactly giving me all the INTJ love signs....|||But if the note was private and it appeared as though he procured the muffins for his team, only he would know the method of their arrival. I wouldn't even have to see him...though my heart would be...|||I have no problem approaching people and making them feel at ease, which includes dating, chatting to perfect strangers in the supermarket or noticing someone is lost on the street and just helping...|||Thanks Mzku, this is helpful.|||hahahaha okay so basically there is no deeply mystic MBTI approach but instead back to the basics, like 'Dating for Dummies'. But I take your core point, of 'avoid sounding abrasive'. Thanks Icy Heart|||Icy Heart and all the other cool people on this thread...  So now that my INTJ love has sent me a phone message (his wall of silence temporarily suspended) and I replied to him with a friendly...|||I fell asleep last night while I was reading this thread! Laptop, in bed, lights on---I woke up at 3am with the thread staring at me.  It's a goldmine.   There are some extremely good eggs on...|||Thanks Icy Heart. In your case I think you were young and non-cynical and put in the best effort you knew at the time. I bolded/highlighted your text above and this is something I have done in the...|||I hope your headache is better Mzku.   I'm glad you wrote what you wrote. It helps others have an insight into your thought processes. It's okay if it is muddled.   Another INTJ in this forum,...|||Mzku   Icy Heart   Vitamin and anyone else on this thread  I've been lurking on this forum for months. Many ENFPs have come here looking for advice on how to save their relationships. Often INTJs...|||Vitamin  Okay got it. Phew! I'm guilty of a bit of (3). But that example has a lot to do with knowledge of the MBTI type one is involved with. Thus, not knowing inadvertantly runs the relationship...|||Mzku   I definately don't think it's too late to date, to be a relationship. Take your new found knowledge and see what is out there for you.|||Manipulation, control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly or unscrupulously.  How is laying ones cards on the table, manipulation? How is trying to understand and grow, manipulation? How...|||And EXACTLY what happened to me.  Leaflets need to be dropped onto the populous from planes in the sky about this. Too much heartbreak, too big a heartbreak for everyone. It's a &^%$£*   &%@@$%^...|||:unsure: You are so absolutely right, right, right. And I'm ashamed that I'm...me. :sad: Crash, burn, burn, burn and feeling like *S*H*I*T*, 'the anvil on the chest'. I've been carrying it around for...|||Wow Vitamin, thanks for sharing. This is so great, the fact that you cared enough about each other to overcome adversity to learn each other's needs and live in harmony.   I just love that. I...|||That's so great to hear Vitamin. :happy: Do you care to tell us how the romance started and what obstacles you both had to overcome before you found 'the balance'? For me, I could always, always,...|||Can you please give other examples? And how much pushing?|||I agree 100% with Bluebucketofgold, particularly... ...when I pick someone to spend time with, you can bet that I've thought about it thoroughly. And once that decision has been made, I invest all...|||I'd think I'd attempt to do both, save the child whilst saving the Mona Lisa. It doesn't mean I think I'm a super hero. I just thought if the two were reasonably close to one another, I'd grab both....|||As this is the INTJ ENFP relationship thread, can I ask what worked well/was attractive/fun in that past relationship and what was stressful/hard work/annoying?  :happy:|||I see where you are coming from but I already thought things through long before joining this forum about the types I attract and why I am attracted to them. I meet 1-50+ new people every week...|||Fake flattery...  It's behaviour a bit like that kooky squirrel with the nut in Ice Age. They just go loopy like they struck gold. I've seen grown businessmen, chairman of the board types bombard...|||XXXX: So how did it go with the interview? INTJ: I nailed it. I got the job. XXXX: Wow! That's great news, tell me about it. What location is it in? Have you met your colleagues? etc INTJ: Gives a...|||In another part of this forum I delve into evidence/statements of why these guys are INTJs so you're just going to have to trust me. They are all INTJs with varying professions. I am leaning towards...|||Hmmmmm. I admit, it is weird and disappointing but they are certainly INTJs. And it's not one person, it's occuring in 4 out of 5 of them. All but one INTJ I know does this! They all need a platform...|||I think I pick up on it subconsciously but I admit I struggle with what is going on exactly when meeting someone new...there is so much going on within the first couple of weeks + the physical +...|||I think I mean empathy but also more than empathy...and I don't know what that word is but I see it in INTJs quite a bit. As an example some of the INTJs I know are very nice guys, they are sweet etc...|||'Traits' might not be the correct word for it, it is more about a specific lack of skill. INTJ males do the following (I will try and be as specific as I can) on dates over and over and over again....|||418730|||g_w    Guilty as charged: I'm still in love with Mr INTJ and working hard on learning more about the type.       Dabbling    Icy Heart    jeb    g_w  sereneone &    Hapyniss and whomever else...'