'Maybe separation anxiety is not the most appropriate term for it, but I feel like I've finally come to terms with my relationship and it's not working but can't bring myself to end it.  We're...|||Tea Earl Gray Hot|||Because the people who are crazy enough to change the world, are the ones who do - Steve Jobs Tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all - Shakespeare|||For me, the most powerful sign of showing I care for someone is a heartfelt note written just for them. I don't often use my time for such things but the people who truly matter the most.|||Get ready for a lot of conflict, but if you're both willing to grow it can work. I can tell you now, you're going to unintentionally hurt her feelings by being direct and unemotional. She's going to...|||So what if he does? Sex is fun. Relax :)|||I definitely don't consider intellectually connecting with someone cheating in even the slightest form. Though I will say it gets tricker from a trust/jealousy standpoint if it's with someone of the...|||Yeah I'm quite similar. Sexuality for me is almost synonymous with amount of love in the relationship. Or bond, in general. It may not be the case that she loves me any less (and I get the feeling...|||If she was just always like this, I'd most certainly move on. For the sanity of us both. But since she hasn't always been, and does seem interested in returning to her former and more normal sex...|||Let's say that the open part of the relationship happened, could that fix things for me? Potentially, but I've never done it and I know I'm a bit of a jealous person so I don't think I'd be...|||She hasn't been on birth control since she had problems many months ago, before we met. Stress wise, she has been eliminating things, and subsequently things have gotten better since the worst part...|||Oops, I dupe replied. And it won't let me delete this post!|||I've long since realized I don't and shouldn't feel bad for that. Some people just have different needs / expectations in life. Nothing wrong with that. And sex is a natural part of being human, so...|||I did this once in a past relationship. It was the most awful thing I've ever done, it tore us apart and ultimately ruined a 3 year relationship. Suffice to say after all that pain and suffering, I'd...|||Sigh, sorry to hear this :( I feel your pain. The hardest part about dealing with it me honestly has been that because her sex drive is gone, she doesn't even see a need or reason to change. To her,...|||4-5 is a bit closer to what I averaged in my last relationship. It felt perfect, and I never thought to myself that I'm unsatisfied. To the countrary, our sex life was exciting, adventurous, frequent...|||While that may be great for some people, it's absolutely unacceptable for me. Even other forms of sex, such as blow jobs, doesn't do it for me. To each their own. I'd never criticize someone for not...|||Aelthwyn basementbugs I've spoken with my SO about it and she said it's not because she doesn't find me attractive or doesn't find it enjoyable, she just isn't much in the mood. She also admits she...|||So, I know this isn't really an ENFJ thing but I like to think of you guys as folks who know how I think, so why not ask these sort of questions here!  What are your typical expectations of...|||ENFJs definitely have a problem giving constructive feedback. The want/need to avoid conflict can make it particularly hard to criticize, even if it's in the other person's best interest.  I've...|||Yeah I've definitely done that. A few times :/  It takes a moment of extreme frustration to bring me to that moment. I'll either take it out on a wall, door, or something usually hard. It's only...|||I have a sort of all or something policy (for lack of a better way of saying it). I have a few very close, very personal connections that I covet more than anything and many many acquaintances and a...|||I gave up a long time ago giving a shit what others think of me. I know I'm different, and downright effeminate in certain regards, but people who find that off putting or don't like it aren't really...|||I love that way of distinguishing J vs P -- I definitely project my morals and feelings on others, to a fault it seems like almost. Though, I always feel like I do it because I *think* I'm right and...|||alfreda and Seeker Much like @KC, I too have gotten upset to the point of physically acting out. But I would never, ever touch a significant other. It takes a truly fucked up person to do that.   I...|||I think you should re-read what I said again. I don't think he's trying to blame you by using your MBTI type against you, I think he's trying to tell you that he responds better to an emotional...|||I think several people in here have given some good advice, so I'd like to back some of it up and maybe offer a bit of my own.  JakeDK is right that you need to give him a bit of space. If he's...|||I'm not sure precisely. I suppose you can do some subtle tests to try and and extract the types. E vs I: You'll know if they're an E just based on their social life. Do they like to go out, or stay...|||Oh, no, as in being scared you'll ruin the relationship. If you focus on that aspect, you will in fact ruin it. The fun will get sucked out of the relationship because you're more concerned with not...|||Funny you mention that -- that's often how I feel in a relationship. It ends up becoming a self fulfilling prophecy though if you focus on it. Trust me.|||I don't really think there's a trick to 'attracting' us -- I suppose you either come across one or you don't. You need to be a good judge of personality type and try to see if he's a like ENFJ. It's...|||Being an ENFJ I seem more concerned with how others feel usually, so I'm not much for being a sadist. But I don't mind being picked on in a playful way, so it works out pretty well if the other...|||I'm not sure if I'm an outlier here, but I'm actually quite good at math. Not like physicist good, but I made it pretty far into Calculus in college successfully with good grades, and always did...|||I suppose what pisses me off most about being an ENFJ is having such high expectations of others. I see inaction as equally bad as malice.|||I wanted to take a bit of time to think about this before replying. I definitely think there are cultural impacts here. I've seen it time and again where a french person tries to kiss my cheek and I...|||Because I know I'm more of a touchy-feely-emotional person than most. I don't try to place too much expectation on others in this department knowing that not everyone values it the same as I. With...|||Definitely -- it's often easy for me to figure out what someone really means when they're trying to be illusive. Although I'm not always right...   Yep. I feel like I try too hard often to make...|||I usually think about life, what's going on at the moment. I take it as a nice time to sort of clear my thoughts and potentially come to realizations I wouldn't normally because I have so much going...|||I've had my fair share of negative feelings that feed on themselves :( It's not easy to overcome, honestly. Even when you feel like you have the world at your fingertips, it can be easy to see the...|||It's funny how the society norms say it's perfectly fine for women to hug (and more often than not most women greet me, and people they meet, with hugs) but how it's some how a taboo for men.  In...|||I definitely don't wish I was a T. Interpreting the world through feelings, instead of logic or information is like seeing the world as something you enjoy versus seing the world as something you can...|||Our threads are crossing the streams. So, I already gave a bit of advice alluding to this in the other thread, and it's funny how you're already heading in that direction (that's great!)  I'll say...|||Oh god do I sympathize here. When something bothers me emotionally, I simply cannot just let it go even when I know letting it go is the answer.|||LSD's a great tool for discovering the boundaries of perception, period, let alone introversion. I for example find one of my favorite things to do with it is with friends. When your friends find...|||I usually don't tell someone I don't like them. I'll mostly just try to avoid them or talk to them as little as possible, to save face. It's only if that person's really gotten under my skin do I...|||Hahah oh god, what have I started.   Well, that's the impression I got as well. That MBTI shouldn't have any affect on it. She swears its not me, and to that I believe her. She's always stressed...|||I have a feeling that this is something that is partially -- I'm sure F's, being more touchy feely in general, are likely to have a higher sex drive than someone who's mind is off wandering,...|||Yeah -- Worse yet is hearing from people who tell me how important honesty is to them, then catching them holding back. Everyone lies. The question is, do you do it maliciously or with the intent of...|||People say they want honesty, but then you give it to them and they feel even worse. I'm as honest as I can be, but not to the point where it needlessly hurts others. I don't give the full truth when...|||Don't think I could have said it better.'