'@TragicallyHip , I got over it by relying on the method @VividMelody and the rest recommended- focusing on his bad points.  I realised he's very bossy, domineering and controlling. He often walks...|||Serrintine    Isn't this a narrow way of seeing things? Your objection to horoscopes is due to the way it is determined (i.e. time of birth) and supernatural nature. It is not based on...|||I look like a girly girl. I like wearing feminine dresses and pretty jewelry. I am soft spoken and demure. But my mind is that of a man. Frivolous talk bore me and petty gossip irritates me. I love...|||I'm glad you are open to a discussion @Serrintine , even though we don't share the same point of view.    Just curious, isn't MBTI also theorizations of people that fit them into boxes? If you...|||I've met a few obsessed guys before.  I'd like to think it's because I'm supremely beautiful and incredibly irresistable. But this would be a great joke, because I don't think I'm much to look at....|||I was ugly all the way till age 17. I had home cut hair and huge glasses. I was so thin that I was all hard angles and lines. It didn't help that I was a loner who found reading books more...|||Thanks for sharing Waltfeld.  My turn. I've highlighted in bold what I feel is a very accurate about me, and INFJs in general:|||Serrintine, I'm always happy to engage in a discussion and see different points of view :)  For me, I've read a whole lot of horoscope descriptions, both Western and Chinese ones. As you said,...|||For me, horoscopes offer me another perspective of looking at myself. Like everyone else, I prefer to see myself in the way I want to. But coming from another perspective, I learn new things about...|||I hope your relationship with him is not as challenging as my relationship with my father. We totally don't get each other. It's very hard for him to value me just as it is very hard for me to value...|||Well, I'm a Leo. And all Leos are supposed to be extroverted and flamboyant. But I'm not. I'm an introverted INFJ :)  But when I read my Chinese horoscope, the picture becomes clearer. I'm born in...|||Hmmm... so I'm the only one here with a larger upper lip?  Face reading originated from traditional Chinese medicine. Reading the face was one of the ways phyisicians predicted the onset of...|||Assuming all INFJs value authenticity, is your upper lip larger than your lower lip?  If face reading is true, then:  For these people (with bigger upper lip) it is important to be authentic....|||Yes, Ix92ve found this to be effective in the past as well. Too bad, itx92s usually quite hard for me to be attracted to someone. And I always pick the weirdest ones, hahax85 Not the conventionally young...|||That's a very good idea. I might just do this :)     LOL, I like this idea! But if it backfires and he really does it, I am screwed! :laughing:    Good suggestions but they might not...|||I don't know the state of Mr Silverfox's marriage and I don't want to know. But it doesn't mean that when a man cheats, he's in an unhappy marriage. Some men just do it because they have the...|||[FONT=Tahoma]  @traceur , I feel like Ix92m repeating passages from Jane Eyre, who incidentally is an INFJ.  Ix92m not sure whether youx92ve read the book. But the titular character Jane is small, poor...|||[FONT=Calibri]Thank you @IcarusDreams for coming to my defence. Ix92ve always had a soft spot for you INFPs *big hug* :)   Itx92s true, we all have an intrinsic worth no matter whether other people...|||@ohTOMICho , @Bumblyjack , I donx92t know if I would go as far as saying he wants to have an affair with me, because hex92s not done anything but look so far. In my books, when Ix92m in a relationship with...|||Bingo Btmangan. It's for insights like this that I come to this forum and INFJs often hit bulleye's with their perceptiveness. I don't lack for male attention. If I want it, it's not that difficult...|||Yes, I keep reminding myself that this crush is partly the result of the bad patch I'm undergoing right now.  Actually, I do have the attention of a good looking younger guy. He's the company...|||@Lady Nurture, Ix92m sorry to hear about your bad experience. I know that if I start something with this married guy, I will go down the same path. I have no illusions about it.   Sometimes, I donx92t...|||Very good sound advice. I'm jogging regularly and probably need to do more of it.  I am also trying to give myself something to look forward to. Unfortunately, the only thing I can find is... junk...|||Bumblyjack, you're right, I need to redirect my emotions rather than suppress them. Too bad this guy has been faultless in his behaviour to me up till now :(  unico, I've tried focusing on his...|||[FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]Actually, Ix92m beginning to wonder if Ix92ve read too much into him looking at me. Maybe hex92s looking at me not because he likes me but because:  (1) The company is 90% men. There...|||Unfortunately, my financial circumstances now are so bad that I cannot afford to go out often to socialise. So I'm not meeting anyone new. The other guys in the office flirt with me too. But...|||Thank you for the post, SilverMoon. We can't help our feelings but we don't have to act on them. I'm just afraid my self control isn't strong enough. Sigh. Especially when I'm feeling so down in...|||I know dude, I know *groan*  But I see him 5 out of 7 days every week. I'm going through a bad patch now, in both my career and personal life, and have nothing else to look forward to. His...|||Ok I posted this in the relationship forum and thought I'd post it here as well to get the INFJ perspective.  INFJs are highly intense people who develop strong feelings for people they are...|||Aww... I don't understand why she doesn't realise she deserves better in this case :(|||That sounds like the situation my friend was in too. He was not violent with her but verbally abusive and highly controlling. He'd call her names like stupid. Stop her from seeing all her friends....|||What a great piece of advice, Vivid Melody. With this, I think I have found the answer to move on. Having been through the same experience, I can only say you've been a paragon of patience and...|||@Zech , I don’t know whether I want to forgive him. I’m trying to see an alternative to how things could be different. Chinese New Year has just past and I got another one of those messages from my...|||@Vivid Melody My father is one of those people who are too far gone that it’s impossible to talk to them. In my interactions with him so far, he has never tried to see things from a perspective other...|||Thank you all who have shared your painful stories on this thread. I feel you, I’ve been there.   Unico, Vivid Melody, my issue is also with a parent. Specifically, my father. I’ve cut off ties...|||INFJs are known for their INFJ doorslams.  When was the last time you forgave someone who hurt you deeply? Can you share your experiences?  I am trying to find the strength to forgive someone...|||Nah, I just find it really boring to talk circles around obscure theories. I'm much more interested in people, the relationships they form with one another, the pyschological insights from certain...|||When I was a teenager, I tested as an INTJ in a scholarship programme. In my 30s, my results became INFJ. I don't know how that happened. But when I popped into the INTJ forum just now and read...|||Or admits he's wrong in any way? But pushes the blame back to you?  No matter how upset the person has made you, or how badly he's treated you, this person just refuses to acknowledge his...|||Psychology is not so much about classifying people but trying to probe into and understand people more deeply using a set of investigative tools. But I'm with you on not giving myself any excuses for...|||Jawz, NFs are easily hurt creatures. A lot of us find it unbearable to be disliked by others. Perhaps some of the INFJs here think you don't like them. Personally, I welcome your insights. I'm more...|||True, learning is a choice. But also, attitude towards life/others is something many people develop when they're very young and seldom change afterwards. Pyschologists often say that people's...|||I don't know whether EQ can be learnt. This is because I have failed enough times in teaching people how to consider others before they say/do something. Maybe EQ is a skill people can pick up, but...|||You know you're an INFJ when the intentions of others are very important. Better by far that someone has done the wrong thing with good intentions than to do the right thing with bad intentions. In...|||Yes, this is so ME too, haha...     Very good explanation of how INFJs work. I'm often amazed how people allow themselves to be abused time and again. Don't you already know their pattern?...|||I know how you feel. I don't show it but I can be easily hurt by what people say. I always wonder how people can be so insensitive. Do they actually think through what they say before they say it? Do...|||Your observation is spot on. One of my INFJ friends is like this. She suspected me of wanting to make use of her but didn't come out to say it. She continued to hold this opinion and eventually did...|||For me, it's ok to say something stupid or tactless. Everyone slips up once in a while and what you say don't always come out the way you want to. I can cut some slack for this. What I can't cut...|||Something about asking others to praise your own personality type makes me want to gag. Humble much?|||Recently, one of my NT friends hurt me quite badly with something tactless he said. He said I was never going to be successful in the corporate world and I should join him in starting up a business...'