'Hello my friends, I am back!! Sorry for being AWOL for so long...life got in the way!!  I just thought I would let you guys know the good news, my ISTJ and I got engaged! We've been together coming...|||I'm an ENFP, my boyfriend is an ISTJ.  We've been together for 2-1/2 years (living together for 8 months).|||Be careful to not get into the idea that MBTI is the end-all-be-all for relationships.  Relationships aren't just a predisposed system that you input coordinates in to....you're such an INTJ :wink: ...|||My ISTJ loves to cook, and he loves cooking for me.  We both enjoy it, and our favorite thing is cooking together.  We are foodies and creating something like an amazing meal, together, is a really...|||ESxxs and ISTPs.  ESxJs - they tend to be very aggressive (ESTJs in rules, ESFJs in morals) and refuse to see any other POV.  Fe-doms drive me nuts because I find it's like selling out and that...|||Gah.  This is my life.....  It's like, for the love of god, all I want to do is avoid confrontation!!!  I just want people to love me!!|||KaliFlower -   First off HUGS!!!! It's gonna get better, I promise.  Second...I'm also in NYC and I totally get where you're coming from.  I guess the big difference between us is that I *chose*...|||Have any of you dated S-type personalities? I've been with my ISTJ boyfriend now for 2 years.  Before that I typically dated other intuitives (I had a thing for INxJs).  How did it go? Well,...|||Here's one I just read today:  Has Teach for America reached its Waterloo? | Al Jazeera America|||@Pinion - you just described the inner-workings of the ENFP.  For most of us Ne-doms it's a constant struggle to follow through with our ideas, and it seems to me that you are somehow channeling...|||I am a messy person by default.  I am constantly moving from a point of order to a point of disorder...entropy is my life.  My SO says I thrive in organized chaos.    However, I find that I go down...|||So this is how you keep your subforum so positive in relation to ISTJ relationships.....hmmmmmmm  :tongue:|||I meant that with all the love in my heart :kitteh:|||Anyone else struggle with expressing their thoughts and feelings to others?  This has been an issue most of my life, but I don't know if it's because I grew up in an emotionally abusive home or if...|||WOOHOO!!!  Slow and steady wins the race!  These ISTJs really are like turtles, it makes those who care about them learn patience.    My guess is the emotions he has are likely stronger than he is...|||Yikes, I can totally see how that's a problem for you....but my guess is many/most of the class is frustrated and confused as well (perhaps even intuitives).  I think one thing that helps intutives...|||Forget the ESFP women.....there's a lot of us ENFP gals who love ISTJs!!! :kitteh:|||You don't lack intuition (everyone has it), it's just you either don't trust it or haven't developed it enough to really notice it.    In terms of cognitive functions, every person has all 8...|||Are you implying that the Virgin Mary and Jesus were soulmates????  I'm confused.......  Also, not sure if that constitutes proof unless you're a creationist, and if that's the case then I...|||Enfpleasantly - I'm not a mom, but I totally know where you're coming from and I know when I have kids I will likely be the same as you.  My friends who have kids and are a part of these mommy...|||Let him know you appreciate his concern, but don't get all gushy and whatever you do do not *squee*.  ISTJs are duty-fulfillers, but unfortunately many people either take advantage of this, or they...|||I really like this.  Shame has been something I've been thinking about a lot lately.  I struggle a lot with self-shame as well as this idea of perfectionism.  I spend a lot of time in therapy trying...|||This is pretty much on par with my life as well.  Especially the idea that others have said about knowing immediately if you see a future with someone or not.  I'm in my late 20s and I didn't really...|||My ISTJ and I spend out first Valentine's Day together driving to DC to spend the weekend with friends.  We went on a double date for dinner that night and everyone in the restaurant was staring at...|||Smooth??  I doubt life is ever smooth for two anxiety-prone people:confused:  But I totally get where you're coming from.  We definitely go through periods where there's a lot of focus on the...|||Welcome back pinkrasputin!  I definitely agree that the ENFP/ISTJ differences can be/are what draw us to each other.  My ISTJ and I will celebrate 2 years in a few weeks and we've been living...|||I think this is an issue for many people, not just ISTJs (but I do know that it's something my ISTJ struggles with greatly).  But the truth is, she is with you because she chooses to be and if she...|||This is exactly what I was saying.    However, it's still not a collective culture, which virtually eliminates that idea of being free-thinking.  We still value free-thinking (it's just the...|||Interesting idea.  The one thing I can thing of is why is the STJ the predominant attitude in the western world is because it is the predominant personality type.  Westerners are focused very...|||Knowing how my ISTJ is (at 28 - well he was 26 when we started dating), I can only imagine him a decade ago what he would have been like....  And what I mean by this is that ISTJs are notorious for...|||That's an interesting perspective.  Whereas I kind of enjoy those kinds of series because I am constantly on the lookout for instances where it either a) answers a previously unknown problem, or b)...|||I never used it to gain affection, but rather to gain connection.    For example, I learned early on that negative attention was better than no attention at all, so I learned to act out at home...|||I learned the art of manipulation early growing up in an emotionally abusive home, that manipulation was my defense mechanism.  And now as an adult I know when I am doing it and I feel horrible, but...|||Just wanted to clarify what I meant.  There is a massive difference between knowing someone is marriage material and seeing a relationship as something that hopefully will progress towards marriage,...|||Idealizing any type is leading you to a recipe for disaster.  Your entire post to me is a massive red flag (to me!!!), and probably is to most ISTJs.  Its way too aggressive and not thought through. ...|||Advice: Don't set out to marry a certain type (or just a person in general).  Find a man that makes you happy that you in turn want to marry.  I know that ISTJs and ENFJs tend to not see eye to eye...|||@KaliFlower - Sounds totally normal to me.  It's just how we ENFPs are.  We're actually the most introverted of the extroverts, which is why we can go from being that hyper happy-go-lucky...|||One thing I've noticed that is very hard for me is that being an ENFP I'm almost a jack-of-all trades (but master of none?) when it comes to friends.  I have lots of friends, but very few close...|||I don't think he's an ISTJ (but I can't be sure), but it could be possible that if he for example grew up in a household of STJs he might feel that that is the proper personality/behavior, and...|||Thanks so much, this makes a lot of sense.  I still wish he could be more direct about this conversation, but I can see that he is trying to show me that things are moving.  I am excited and I do...|||I know ISTJs are known for their to-the-point and blunt way of communicating.  But one thing I've noticed with my ISTJ is that sometimes I feel like he is over-sharing, especially on a certain...|||I don't know but I think my ISTJ needs to read this thread.....  Aside from doing the dishes (which ironically since we moved in together HE has been the one less diligent about this, even thought...|||Well, just to be obvious, most people don't say/do those things when they are in the initial stages of a relationship.  Also, most ISTJs are much gentler in their criticisms.  Those kinds of comments...|||I'm glad some other people pointed out that this is not typical ISTJ behavior.  Either he's mistyped or he's a sociopath....and those things are not mutually exclusive.|||You both sound immature.  and now you have a baby on the way, always a good thing.....  Honestly, I think he needs to grow up and you need to decide if this is the life you want.  Because people...|||Perhaps Words of Affirmation is non-existent as a love language for him.  He may be trying to show you love through other routes - maybe gift giving?  You spend a considerable amount of time...|||And for the second time socionics is not MBTI....  ENFP = Ne Fi Te Si ENFJ = Fe Ni Se Ti  Socionics has different tertiary and inferior functions because its NOT THE SAME THING.  It's a...|||onion - don't EVER tell someone they can not be a certain type because of a single trait that you may not exhibit or don't believe a type should exhibit.  Also, it's even worse when you have obvious...|||HeartTwist -   As an ENFP in a relationship with an ISxJ I know where you are coming from.    My (ISTJ) boyfriend and I find one of our biggest differences that at times causes problems is that...|||I used to think that I could only ever be happy with another iNtuitive, so I totally get that.  I also think that most ISTJs I would not be happy in a relationship with, but that my ISTJ doesn't...'