'I cried a lot, especially before I could hold my head up - apparently I settled a bit once I could see what was going on. Early favourite words included 'I can do it myself'.|||This - it's that asking that's the key thing. A capacity for empathy makes us very supportive, but you have to help the other person to recognise what you need or you just end up getting irritable. ...|||I like white tea with orange (though am also very fond of really strong black coffee).  Have you seen those 'blossoming' teas with a flower that unfolds in them?|||I don't think it's at all unreasonable for you to have lots of female friends - INF men I know seem to have more female friends than otherwise, and it really doesn't look anything like a harem to me....|||Are there really that many valkyrie-esque women, even in the Netherlands?  I'm 5'2, and was once accused of discriminating against short men because I hesitated when a friend asked me if I'd go out...|||This.  I'm always good at gauging how nervousness is going to affect me - sometimes I'll be very silent, sometimes I'll gesticulate wildly.  I smile a lot, but the set of the mouth and eyes is...|||Everyone always has problems of one kind or another, that's the nature of life!    I do think it's probably fair to say that people who are having a particularly hard time are more likely to seek...|||I'm not sure which bit you mean - I've seen both Emily and Charlotte classified as INFJ on other sites, but that's speculative as the test has a subjective dimension.  I may well have misremembered...|||Amanda32's comparison to a tornado in an hourglass captures how I tend to feel about myself - it reminds me of Baudelaire's description of Les Liasons Dangereuses: If this book burns, it burns as...|||I don't believe in astrology though there's a certain historical interest (it gets a lot of attention in the period I work on), but for the record, I'm an Aries.|||As other posters have said, I wouldn't get your hopes up. But, if I were her and in a relationship, I've made sure that you knew that.  As a shy woman, I've had some difficulties in handling...|||I love Tool and A Perfect Circle!    My staple favs include Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, NIN, the Pixies, Iggy and the Stooges, the Dead Kennedys, The Tiger Lillies, The Decemberists, The Black...|||Waiting five days shouldn't make a difference, and if you give her the CD then I think she'll be especially touched to know that you were thinking about her in the meantime.  She'll probably have...|||Someone articulate and intelligent, but not overbearing; confident, but not arrogant. I'm always impressed by wit, and I like people who are passionate about their interests and beliefs, a little bit...|||Those'll be the gay people you noticed were gay. A friend of mine didn't come out till he was 30 because he didn't like the public persona a lot of gay men adopt, and it took him time to get used to...|||A lot of women like the slightly androgenous look, and big eyes with long eyelashes, with a slightly shy look about them never did any of the heterosexual men I know any harm. Use of the phrase...|||I like to make eye contact, but I don't tend to hold someone's gaze very long. I'll look and look away, both when I'm talking and when I'm listening. Eye contact feels very intense and intimate to...|||I don't usually speak on the phone - the only exception is my parents, and I call them because they don't like to intrude (though that's really a change since I moved in with my partner, about seven...|||I think this was more of a problem for me when I was single rather than while in a relationship, and it's still a bit of a problem when it comes to meeting people I'd like to befriend. I do sometimes...|||I agree - I'm very shy, and quite difficult to get to know as a result, but I don't think many people would describe me as cold. When I'm thinking, I can get what my partner calls my haughty look...|||Jane Eyre's usually classed as INFJ, as is Lucy Snowe from Vilette (and Charlotte Bronte too). And Frodo Baggins.  This may not mean much to most folk, as I don't know how widely read Diana Wynne...|||Ah, finally found a decent video of the Bright Eyes tune I wanted to post here:  YouTube - Bright Eyes - I Believe in Symmetry|||Thanks to everyone who mentioned finding the phone distressing. I was worried that was just me! Written communication has always been easier for me, but I hadn't realised quite what it is that...|||Has anyone here been given a belbin questionnaire before? I find the distinction it makes between management and coordination quite useful - I hate making people do things, and got no points at all...|||I think I know what you mean - I've a male infp friend, who is great to talk to. I'm very fond of him, and we generally get on very well. But, sometimes I get frustrated that he won't open up enough...|||I do love the Tiger Lillies! And they are so much better live. Though I have occasionally been slightly hesitant about recommending them to people I don't know all that well yet, and who might...|||Mostly I change not because other people have indicated I should, but because I like them. I'll emphasize aspects of my character or interests that are appealing to them and that weren't quite as...|||Have you heard any of the Tiger Lillies songs based on Edward Gorey's stories?  Tiger Lillies :: recordings   There're some on YouTube here:  YouTube - Tiger Lillies - Gin  YouTube - The Tiger...|||I like Bill Hicks and Emo Philips, and generally anything that tends towards the sarcastic. There's a degree of vicarious pleasure in it, I think - people who voice things I might think but wouldn't...|||Veronica Mars (in the first season of that show)  And, I wouldn't want to be like her, but the Marquise de Merteuil in Les Liasons Dangereuses.In my opinion, none of the film versions capture quite...|||Absolutely - as long as it's actually helping the other person, it's a useful thing for both parties, but it's dangerous if this kind of help is understood as a rationale for emotionally blackmailing...|||I'm an only (my parents met and married late in life).|||Yes, I feel this: I often find it easier to work on doing something for someone else when I can't determine what I need to do for myself. I can see how to help other people better, and often doing so...|||That happens a lot to me too, Decided, and it sometimes amuses me when people don't realise they've been prompted at all. I think it's a really useful skill!   The difficulty I've had was less...|||I think the relationship I'm in works as well as it does because I had no expectations when I met my lover. I was 19, and had spent a year being single with a terrible crush on a friend I'd been too...|||Sometimes I've run into problems because I have such a strong sense of what other people want and need that I forget that they don't necessarily have the same insight. They need me to sign what I...|||Yay to the medieval philosophy, Amberheadlights! Which philosophers? My favourite's Boethius.|||One of my absolute favourites is Chodleros de Laclos's Les Liasions Dangereuses. I'm also extremely fond of Umberto Eco. I need to read more philosophy though - recently have been enjoying Zizek very...|||I'm totally with you on this, and I don't think I've ever not scored 100% on introversion anytime I've tested. Time alone to recharge is absolutely necessary, and I can't always summon up the energy...|||It depends on the reasons for the infidelity. I don't understand people who want to collect notches on the bedpost - it sometimes seems to involve a peculiar attitude to people, treating them as...|||I do feel skeptical about marriage, but not because I doubt my relationship. I tend to think that the way we feel about each other is private, I'm uncomfortable with the idea of a public declaration,...|||Mostly yes, and I am currently semi-doing/aiming for one of the listed 'favoured careers'. That said, taken as a whole, this sounds rather more insecure than I feel now (though perhaps not during my...|||Fair enough. I liked it this time round in part because I found the way Forster talks about the government of love really interesting. It's a great reflection of some of the early literature I've...|||I smile a lot, just in general, but if I have to hold a smile for a photo, it looks really strained and uncomfortable. Also, I seem to blink rather a lot, so getting a pic where I've got my eyes...|||I did - the back of the class in my school was for the hard kids. I sat towards the front and at the side, aiming not to be noticed and failing rather more than I'd like.|||I agree! And, in case it's of interest, now I can post the link: What I believe (by E.M. Forster)  I think the whole thing is excellent. It's from a collection of essays - at some point, I'm...|||The types are definitely more like guidelines, and I wouldn't rule out a successful relationship with an EXXP just yet. I'm not terribly sure what my type best fits my long term partner, as he's...|||I run, and try to get to the gym at least once a week, though I'm lagging behind on that. The running's a relatively recent thing, and  I did hate it at school, which is one of the reasons I was so...|||I like this bit too, which is a bit more famous. Though I don't hate the idea of causes so much as the idea of causes that might supersede personal relations - a really good cause wouldn't force you...|||And I've never read anything by Stephanie Meyer, but it looks like a bit of a desperate effort to fill out the ESFP section.'