'Sorry, but this is, to put it quite frankly, bullshit.  It's victim blaming at its finest.  The logic here is akin to She was raped because she wore a short skirt.  Almost any psychologist will...|||I've never cheated and wouldn't even dream of it, but I have been cheated on by at least two ex-girlfriends and one ex-wife.    I really can't speak as to why one of the ex-girlfriends cheated, but...|||Congratulations Seeker,  I definitely wish you the best.    I'm at the 6 month mark with my INFJ and it's still going better than fantastic.  I think as long as the ENFJ and INFJ's value systems...|||First, sorry to hear of your loss.    Now, for your question:  xNFJ's tend to be very future-orientated planners.  If, after even the first few dates, we really like someone we will definitely...|||Thanks for all of the replies.  You INFJs are the best!  This weekend was a bit trying in some ways.  We took some visiting from out-of-town friends to some local sites and she wasn't putting up...|||I certainly understand that and I'm not at all suggesting that she should be over it.  What's odd is that when the relationship first started it seemed as though she was the one coming in all guns...|||I'm looking for some advice here.  I'm an ENFJ and I've been with my INFJ girlfriend for 5 months.  We've both said that this is the best relationship we've ever been in.  We really seem to...|||I'd echo the INFJ statement,but I'd also throw fellow ENFJ's into the mix.  Some of my closest friends fall into the xFNJ category and my current girlfriend (who I think will one day become a...|||Right.  Extroversion  ≠  Friendliness and Introversion  ≠  Being alone  I'm very clearly an extrovert, but I also sometimes crave alone time.  My girlfriend is definitely an introvert, but loves...|||My ex (a fellow ENFJ) had a ton of gay guy friends that she always hung out with.  Maybe you've got something to your theory here.|||Care to explain?  I'm only two months deep with an INFJ and this is probably the best relationship I've ever had, including one that lasted almost 15 years.  I've never had a relationship where so...|||Seeker,  Thanks for the well wishes.  It sounds like you have a real conundrum on your hands.  I haven't been on too much lately, so I was wondering how that was going for you.    Of the serious...|||I've been dating an INFJ for about a month now and I can honestly say that this is the healthiest, most honest, and least guarded relationship I've ever been in.  I feel as though I'm dating the...|||I replied in this thread as opposed to the other one as to not derail the original poster's question over there.  Thanks for asking though.  So far so good.  It's refreshing to date with someone...|||This may not be that helpful, but I can tell you one thing, if she is truly an ENFJ then you aren't stuck in the middle ground.  She's either interested in you or she's completely disinterested.  ...|||Here's how I look at it:  I'm an extremely logical person.  When a friend comes to me with a problem I am usually quite good at breaking it down in a purely factual manner and then presenting it...|||I'm an ENFJ male and my dad is an INTP (mom is also an ENFJ).  I'm not exactly sure what you mean by lack of a connection though.  I felt/feel a connection to both of my parents, but the relationship...|||95066  We are all the same.  I'm a fairly organized person, but you might not realize it because I also subscribe to the pile technique.  What's funny is that my mom, who is also an ENFJ, does...|||We've been talking almost every night for a week or so, but because I was travelling for work we did didn't have our first date until last night.    I'd say it went rather well.  We got on the...|||If I had a dollar for every time I've been accused of overthinking things.....   I talked to her again last night and afterward I sort of came to the same conclusion that you guys are all telling...|||There was a thread on here a few weeks back that kind of got off track where a few of us (Seeker, Eggsies, etc.) were discussing being picky when choosing a potential mate.  Just now I was reading...|||Where are all of the INFP's hiding?  The only one I know is my uncle (he's definitely my favorite on my dad's side).  I'd certainly like to be able to weigh in on this action.    As for INFJs, I...|||I answered yes purely on the merit of the question and not considering any other context.  For example, if you would have asked Do you enjoy being single more than being in a healthy relationship...|||Seeker, you seem like a really cool person.  I just want to wish you the best here.|||I think the thing that we need to remember when it comes to Extrovert v. Introvert, Intuitive v. Sensing, Feeling v. Thinking, and Judging v. Perceiving is that these are not on/off switches.  Each...|||I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I feel like I do deserve what I perceive as a higher quality woman.  I'm not asking for Ms. Perfect, just someone that is intelligent, caring, sane, and that I...|||Just FYI, this isn't necessarily a gender thing.  There are plenty of women that only want to get in a guy's pants.  The last woman I dated (a quintessential ESFP) was like that.  She was a big fan...|||I just meant not dating someone based on reasons that others may not agree with or think I'm being too picky about.    The children thing is kind of a big deal for me due to my past.  My ex-wife...|||Seeker,  I really am sorry if what I said made you feel bad.  That's absolutely the last thing I'd want to do on here.  It's almost like this thread has come full circle though.  I have my criteria...|||The main problem I have with that is that I've always wanted to have a family.  I'm not opposed to adoption, but I'd really like to have my own biological children.  I'd like to date/be married to...|||Yes, pretty much I'd say late 20's to mid 30's.  I'm 34, so that's about what I'm dealing with.    I've gone out with a 24 and a 25 year old in an attempt to beat the system, but the problem I...|||I don't mean to sound cynical with this reply, but I already know it will.  It will get better and then IT WILL GET WORSE...WAY FUCKING WORSE.  There is a period (typically post-college/mid 20's)...|||I've had four romantic relationships in my life that I would say got to a somewhat serious phase.  Two of them cheated.  We're in the same boat there, brother.  It's disgusting.  I've never even...|||I think you hit the nail on the head here.  My ex-wife was 5'4 and about 125lbs when we got married, but after about 8 years of marriage (and no kids to blame) she got past 170lbs.  For years she...|||That's fair.  And blatantly obvious.  I guess I'm just afraid that they will think think it's for purely superficial reasons (it is), but I just want everyone to be happy and for nobody to get their...|||Yeah, that's my big problem.  I tend to be pretty straightforward, but in this case I need to be tactful.|||I've been divorced for about a year-and-a-half now.  I stared dating again about a year ago and in that time I've probably gone out with 6-7 women (only two of them got mildly serious).  What never...|||When the woman I was just dating and I broke up a few weeks back I had the strong intuition that she was hinting at a FWB type setup.  She told me that she wanted to continue to hang out on a regular...|||And not to sound objectifying or anything, but the one that I dated for a bit was also by far the best lover I've ever had - very passionate and very giving.  Maybe that is the case for all of us...|||Yeah, that does sound like a very unhealthy one.  It was mentioned in another thread on here this week, but cheating for an ENFJ is pretty rare.  Good thing you got away from that one.|||I have only once, but unfortunately at the time she wasn't emotionally ready for a serious relationship (I might not have been either) due to very serious relationships that we both had just gotten...|||Someone already kind of hit this topic, but I think that XNFXs are just different when it comes to love/relationships.  Those BS games don't work on NFs.  I just got out of a relationship with an...|||You nailed this.  There aren't too many people I dislike, but if you've wronged me and get the ENFJ version of the door slam then prepare yourself.  Personally my cold is more of a passive...|||I voted INFJ, but...........  there is a caveat.  I think this only applies to them before they open up.  Here is my example:  I met a woman over a year ago that was a childhood/highschool friend...|||Hopefully you guys don't think I was bashing ESFPs from my post, I just think that for a serious romantic relationship the ENFJ - ESFP mix is just not a good one at all.  Y'all are an absolute...|||I'm asking this because to me cheating is such a foreign concept.  I can't even fathom ever doing it.  Back when I was married I remember feeling very guilty because I once ran into a good friend's...|||I just got out of a relationship with one.  The first month or two were spectacular.  She was always looking to have fun and live in the moment...  Then real life caught up.    The negatives I saw...|||I'm sorry for the loss of your grandfather.   I think that sometimes the ENFJ power of intuition can indeed be a curse.  I, too, have been in the situation where I can tell something negative is...|||ENFJs can be pretty controlling if they are not the healthiest or if they are just completely unaware of those tendencies.  Your dad has probably thought about this a lot and has envisioned all of...|||Yes, I'm digging up an old thread, but I just ended things with my ESFP girlfriend last night.  I figured I'd weigh in on this to share another perspective on this type of match up.  I'm actually...'