'I believe romantic attraction often causes INTJ's to get stuck in this loop, because Te verification can lead to rejection. In situations where things are ambiguous with the object of your affection,...|||I enjoy delivering lectures to large audiences, assuming I have had my requisite preparation time (a lot). That is because I know that I am giving a masterful delivery and using my abilities to make...|||This sounds like a new idea, and I'm curious how you see this. I hope you'll elaborate.|||Not a question (or a sentence).     An INTJ might be able to guess your feelings based on actions, but being told where you stand provides more certainty. When it comes to something as messy as...|||The notion that you have to love yourself at all times to be loved is obviously flawed. Say your partner came home, down on themselves for making a mistake. Would you stop loving them? Or would you...|||It seems the only thing we can say for sure is that your biggest problem was communication, in spite of your explicitly problem-solving-oriented verbal infrastructure. If you have to tip-toe around...|||Sure. I work in an academic environment. I spot them regularly.  I believe we understand one another more than most others. But we also keep a respectful distance.  Ships passing in the night.|||I can run things through Te and believe I made no wrong decisions, based on what I knew or how I was going into a circumstance, but it often doesn't matter what Te thinks. Mistakes that I make,...|||Okay, so I'm not the ENFP in the relationship. ;-)  That seems like the kind of silly thing an ENFP would do for me and I would love it. So long as it was drawn poorly.|||Or she keeps her phone off when she doesn't want to be interrupted. One way or another, she is using her Te-screen to the noise of the world at bay while she concentrates on what matters to her....|||Dear SailorStar, thank you for the thorough and thoughtful reply. Your perspective on connecting with other people is beautiful. I doubt that even most ENFP's could be so giving.     Your...|||Thanks for your insight.  I tend to digest the information for a week or two, and then stop thinking about it entirely. Beyond this, there's no further information to be gained. That's true unless...|||The Producer , it seems we are each fielding our own ENFP-INTJ issues.  I've backed off from ENFP romance in the past because the intensity was uncomfortably high. I need to feel in control of a...|||Dear ENFP's,  How long do you reflect on something impactful that someone said?  Do you reflect on it that day and move onto other thoughts in your busy lives, or return to the memory and reflect...|||chickydoda, while many INTJ's and INFJ's adore your type, fighting for you is not our game and there would be no point. As introverts, if we can't attract you to *us*, we're unlikely to hold your...|||That's kind of you. Thanks for the welcome and encouragement.     It's curious how you are sensitive to these subtle signals, but characterize yourself as oblivious. You don't sound oblivious to...|||Nice to see you again too, The Producer. I'm here so infrequently that I'm surprised anyone would remember me. I come to the site when there is something specific I feel I need to learn. For this...|||Dear ENFP's: it is often noted of your type that you are driven to form deep connections with other people, that you are experts at this, and that this can go awry by unintentionally signaling...|||An observed response is more trustworthy than a hypothetical one, which makes the current events and this thread a great chance for case study. I'm hoping we'll hear from ENFP's who were distressed...|||This is not a well-worn perspective, and yet it is how I would also describe my own views. Cheers.  But I don't intend to ask a politically-laden question. I hope to learn how an ENFP would react...|||This is quite a thread. I too came here to learn about ENFP reactions to the election. But I now also need to learn about the ENTP's here.  I understand that to ENTP's, seeing others suffer,...|||Interesting, I hadn't heard of that. My fan looks like this: 603098  At 20, it's on the large side for placing within a cylinder. My latest idea was to tie shredded grocery bags to it, although I...|||As I understand it, a desirable path is to traverse the Enneagram in life, ideally absorbing the virtues of every type along the way. However, I seem to see Enneagram discussion oriented in the way...|||There has been much written about making your fan work more quietly. I'm looking for a way to use a big fan to make a ton of white noise (without damaging the fan -- it has to run 24/7) while also...|||I enjoyed your thumbs up/down weightings  PeevesOfCourse, thanks for that. I fully agree about pragmatics: even a happy match will become negative if it is sabotaged by material stressors and...|||Thanks for your perspective. To agree with all you said: career performance is not the only or main determinant of partner quality or compatibility, contributions at home and sacrifices for the...|||Certainly, kindness and humility are important to me as well. I don't think those things should prevent anyone from having a successful career, so let us put them into a separate, water-tight...|||Thanks for your responses. I'm not surprised that people hold differing attitudes, although I'm surprised by negative reactions to the idea that people might be judged by their accomplishments, when...|||Perhaps it is a matter of degree - would you be bothered if your long-term partner were unemployed for a long period, and you perceived them as failing to make an effort?  I agree that happiness...|||Dear INTJ's with long-term mates: is your loved one floundering in their career? Do you perceive this as a failure to coordinate their energy and actions? Do you accept this as their style, or as a...|||Thanks for your further responses. I think, based on these descriptions, that Fi is not new to me, but that I may have reached a point where I am able to better see it in action, and want more of a...|||You both explained that with great colour, and great theory of mind. Thank you for taking the trouble to do so.  There seems to be a cloud of concepts that are associated with Fi that have a murky...|||Dear ENFP's,  I'm seeking insight into my tertiary function. Inquiring about Fi among other INTJ's is difficult, as we rarely discuss Fi and I think many of us may be Fi-hostile. So I am here to...|||Thanks for your further responses. You're right,  Subtle Murder - I learned that she was enduring a slow and rough breakup. That was finished a few months ago, but we are both still busy and haven't...|||Not much I can say to that, other than, thank you again for sharing what it is like for you. Your descriptions are complete and forthright and I appreciate that.  I enjoy unstructured work as well....|||If it sucks as an INTJ to share Fi and then have the recipient disappear from your life, I'm sure it would be far more difficult for a Fi dom. I'm sorry to hear about your lost friend, and hope you...|||It's great to hear you had such early and positive formative experiences. They really need to make coding literacy a standard part of the curriculum, as early as elementary school - rather than...|||Care to elaborate?|||Thank you all for taking the time to reflect on, and help me understand your Ne. I cherish the relationships I have with the ENFP's and ENTP's in my life and like to invest energy in understanding...|||This is exactly the insight I needed. Thank you. I hadn't considered that all of the possibilities generated by Ne could take work to sort out. I thought it simply meant all these possibilities were...|||We have spoken about this issue and she understands that my one reservation about our relationship concerns our emotional connection. She considers this a detail. It is unclear to me whether she's...|||I should add that your post prompted me to at last investigate Enneagrams. She is a defender-of-the-little-guy type ENFP - very committed to a thankless cause - and also very excited by novelty. I...|||Thanks for your response, that's helpful. Though it brings me down to lose a good friend, I'm not deeply concerned with how the situation resolves: as you say, it will do so one way or the other....|||A while ago I posted thoughts on my ENTP relationship over here in a thread I felt was analogous on the F side (post #4). I'm curious if this relates to your own experiences.  At just over 2 years...|||I understand the idea of Ne, and the ensuing spontaneity and issues with time management. But for the same reason, I would have imagined that eventually, a text would have triggered a spontaneous...|||I have an ENFP friend who has all but vanished. I can't figure it out. I'm not looking to resolve this so much as attempt to better understand how your type works. I would welcome your ENFP insights....|||As the great Bill Nye used to say: coincidence? Or connection?|||Charming. A potato who defends his insults by asserting further character flaws.  Your various type prescriptions in this thread are sorely at odds with typology theory, countless observations by...|||This is flattering. However, I am actually a scientist, so please don't draw conclusions just based on my comments.     Thanks for stepping up. On all counts, you captured my own thoughts and...|||There are no types as obsessed with building a coherent, structured theoretical model of the world as Ni-doms. INFJ's build it with social observations, and INTJ build it with empirical ones. That...'