'This has already been stated in different ways, but I don't think it can be said enough... Be genuine, be interested in who they are as a person not just 'pieces parts', open up to them, exchange...|||...  a somber stillness falls over me, and I sink into it's  grasp like water seeping through a thousand grains of sand.     ....the illusion of what was and could be gives way to the reality of...|||Thanks for the response.  You seem to be humble and self aware.  I see a different response from the intj I know as far as self awareness.  It comes across as egotistical and I wonder if it is a...|||I feel everything and nothing all at the same time.  A burning nothing and an empty something.  I am full of holes and I am leaking out....draining to the bowels below..   ....amongst the sewage...|||That's a good way to determine it...based on importance of the value to each person(although this could get tricky), and level of resentment.    Reimagine? That's creative.  :). Both parties having...|||I've been in a situation where I felt I was putting in a more meaningful effort that the other person.  For example, he would compromise only on the things that he did't care about.  If I felt...|||Thanks!  :D  I like balance too. Why is it so hard to achieve and maintain it in life?  Ack.  :roll eyes:  I think the values idea makes sense and as you say, the problem arises when two different...|||That makes sense.  I wonder if compromise in general lends itself to 'keeping tabs' on what each person is giving in the relationship, or is it impossible to maintain a relationship without...|||That's a good point. I think concession should be part of a compromise. Perhaps the question is To what degree should the concession be?  For example, if one person's concession is based on caring...|||Thanks! It combines most of the elements I was looking for;  A flexible schedule and opportunities for creativity and growth.   What place do you think concession has in relationships?  Is it fair...|||Hi INFP's.   I have a question about compromise.  What do you consider fair compromise in relationships?  Do you ever feel that you value the person and their feelings more than they value yours? ...|||Hi INTJ's. I have a question for you.  What are your thoughts on compromise in relationships?  What does that look like?  What's the criteria for a fair compromise in your opinion?   Nice to read...|||If you don't mind me asking.  How did your wife, as an infj, respond to the information that women were making advances on you?   Does that type of thing have an affect on her NF?  I ask because I am...|||What did you say to her about your weekend?  It may have been something you said or maybe she interpreted your wishing her a safe trip over the weekend to mean you didn't want to talk to her.    ...|||The link is not working   Is it working for anyone else?   Know thyself|||Shamy  I will read your article later.  Thanks for sharing it   Know thyself|||Dear insomnia,  You have worn out your stay, please go away.  Tonight I need sleep. so tomorrow I can play.    Know thyself|||An excerpt from a neuroscience article I found interesting and seems to be related to this topic.  It eventually mentions the guilt/shame issue.    Would be interested to hear your thoughts when...|||A thought:  Is there a possibility that some of the cases of  parent/child MBTI difference could be attributed to having a caregiver other than the parent, such as those in full time daycare, or...|||Shame is subjective I believe.  I recall the experience most vividly as a child/growing up.  A perceived self conscious and unworthy sense of self that can be a response to being scolded, or...|||Well, that sounds frustrating.  Feel free to pm me about it if you'd like.  If not, that's fine too.  I hope I am answering accurately according to your situation. I don't know what the specific...|||Yes, I think maybe it is a bit of both! :wink:      I can relate to this phenomenon.  I know for me I do better with 'landline topics', when it is framed in a certain way and when I am not...|||That is an interesting question.  I think it depends on what the goal is.  I encounter this most often in relationships. It is unlikely to find someone who will agree 100% or who will tolerate being...|||Interesting that you said this because I had the feeling and thought that she sounded 'immature' from your first post, but wanted to ask questions and get more information before saying that.  When...|||No Disney rides from me! Lol  Hmmmm, rambles thru fridge and produces a Smirnoff     Hope Brasil fares better than USA did. Aie     Know thyself|||Hug hug hug's to all you delightfully interesting INTJ's!    Know thyself|||I am going to admit here, I am really INFX... I test both J and P depending on the day.   It has always been borderline.    I agree with your statement here.  I can give an opinion, and talk in a...|||Gentle pounce hug Dabbling :D   Know thyself|||Dabbling.  You said I 'do' have deep emotions and I cannot surface them....she can't see through me as a Fellow Fi user would  Are you saying that you do express your emotions and have a...|||*hugs Dabbling, and pours more sherry while contemplating your post    Know thyself|||Dabbling *Hands you a glass of sherry   I have seen this type of 'exhaustion' from an intj, and over time this person developed some stamina in that regard. Maybe the questions are: Other than...|||Dabbling  Zamyatin made some great points.   What if you looked at the idea of 'sharing a few things emotionally with your friend, as an experiment of sorts?    Test the waters of this idea by...|||Sleepily listening to 'Claire de Lune' next to the soft glow of my cherry blossom lamp...  Absorbing the quietness as the day becomes but a silhouette on the horizon.       Know thyself|||Dabbling    In my experience, yes. If I understand your question correctly....   I am typically perceptive about what someone is 'feeling' even thought they are not expressing it.  I don't know if...|||Dabbling.  PoppaX  Thanks for taking the time to respond. :)    Know thyself|||INTJinTN  Also, you might benefit from the insight of some of the INTJ's here who seem to have navigated relationships with INFJ's successfully   I have gained lots of insights over on their...|||I read the post where you replied to jbking above.   How do you know the infj is finding you flawed?  Do you ask her once you get the impression she is?    Personally, I would love it if a guy asked...|||INTJinTN    HI,  Here are some of my perspectives.  I think if an INFJ speaks proudly of slamming the door (in a non abuse situation), it may be for this reason... INFJ's are selective about...|||Hi fellow INFJ    Know thyself|||FePa  Bugs  *drinks the last bit of vodka, turns on pandora and collapses until awakened by much snoring... :shocked:   Know thyself|||:shocked:    *looks at bottle...vodka.  Ah that explains it!   Know thyself|||*lights a candelabra, offers wine, then situates piano bench   Begins Chopin nocturne in Bflat minor, gets lost in the music and continues playing until all are happily sleepy  :) Bugs    Know...|||Yes.  I play piano and sing.  How about you? FePa  Know thyself|||I mostly agree.   In a serious relationship, slamming the door would come after I have tried everything to make it work but keep getting hurt etc.  That door won't ever open again once it's closed.  ...|||https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MG_1mkWFH7Q  Random post as a result of being  Randomly inspired by this poignant version of Chopin's Waltz in C# minor.|||It sounds like you want a certain kind of closure or are not wanting to accept the reality of the situation.  If I am misinterpreting here, my apology.    I can tell you from experience, that...|||Well, I would maybe need a little more information to answer that accurately, but a question that comes to mind is  is he giving you a 'non answer?'  Or is he dodging the question. Are you asking...|||I don't agree that it's always 'too late' if an F perceives something as hurtful.  I typically 'ask' for clarification to make sure my perceptions are accurate.  If said person was indeed intending...|||http://img.tapatalk.com/d/14/06/17/re4eje5e.jpg  INTJ version of a unicorn       Know thyself|||Yay!  Congrats!!   Know thyself'