'Love is a crazy thing.   Se is our best form of communication, but that does not always work.  And inferior Te is painful.  So, I won't leave my wife.  I can't change her.  The pain is just part of...|||I love my ISFP wife of almost 21 years but I  wouldn't marry her again,  I believe.   When it works it is amazing.    But communication is extremely difficult.   She hates abstract thinking so it...|||Best of luck.   Very sad.  Hope you make it back in the future...|||Lol, love is a foolish thing.    I could never have made it if I had a good childhood and was psychologically health for those 20 years.  So, being closed off emotionally, in denial, and...|||Then you know.  Romance with one is a very different thing, though.  All the trouble comes with amazing good sides....And the intensity just is like pure gold.    She has so much buried emotions...|||If you can handle the turmoil and drama and pain, you get an amazing amount of love and pleasure and happiness and joy.  It is the intensity of a supernova at times.  I wouldn't wish it on anyone.|||No, just an ignorant and foolish one.   Because of my childhood,  I was messed up enough not to see myself clearly.  I craved intensity of feeling.  And I have been burned by it too much.....|||Yep, very avoidant.  I dealt with it by denial for many years.  Then had it all break through a year ago in an avalanche of pain and suffering.   So, a combination of tremendous personal growth and...|||I know I am strongly pulled to Fi doms and auxs.  I married a ISFP and almost exclusively dated FPs before my wife.|||Happy Birthday.|||I have a ENFP sister and a INFJ sister.   I have a ENFP SIL and a INFJ BIL.  I have a very good friend who is a ENFP.  My INFJ sister and I think very similarly, but she is so much quieter and has...|||I just want to add that the Official MBTI has been verified as accurate and that people who test in the same type share the same traits.  In Gifts Differing, it states that each type shares traits...|||I don't do group think.  I feel the nature of the individuals of the group and tailor my words for minimized conflict and maximum benefit.   I feel no difficulty championing my own issues, even...|||Fe is about feeling in the exterior environment.  It is all about the feelings of others in the group or individually.  This very different from the Fi user.  Fi users can reference the feelings of...|||Work on expressing your feelings for him.  Validate him.  Praise him (all honestly, of course).  External validation is really important.  The more he gets from you, the less he may need to get it...|||From my experience,  I didn't know I lacked self-love, thanks to my messed up childhood.  I was so smart about everything else but clueless about myself.  Because my parents emotionally neglected me,...|||As a recovering over helper (who still struggles not prioritizing the needs of others), I would suggest helping him develop self-love.  Once an ENFJ learns to love them self more, they can say no...|||Growth path for FJs is to turn Fe inward and develop their inner feelings.  Whether that is shadow Fi or Fe turned inward, I suspect it isn't much different.   Personally,  I have been working on...|||I am stressed by the direction of the country and the election.   I love discussing politics,  but not as much online and would never do it on Facebook.  Far better to separate the worlds.  In...|||Been a long hard road.... As a child,  I was told how bright and insightful I was.  I thought I needed to be a cold thinker,  Spock like.  So I thought I needed to be distant and chatter inside my...|||My ENFP friend and I are very similar,  getting to the same place, but in opposite ways...|||Oh, the social pressure to conform.... not. ...  Anyway,  I need external validation.  If I get stuck in my head, Ti just messes me up something awful.  I need to communicate.|||Chat with nearby passengers if they seem like they want that.   Give them space otherwise.  Read.    Sleep if I  can.|||I am not on any meds.  I likely should be, lol.....|||My wife has family history of cardiovascular disease.  She had a major stroke in her early 20s before we met.  She had a mini stroke last month.  She always told me she felt she would die young.... I...|||OK, I more than a few times have had women (& men) act like I am romantically interested in them, which usually results in them aggressively pursuing me when I have no interest.  I am friendly to...|||I was always known for being super bright as a young kid and always was in gifted classes.  But there was a point about 12 when friends and acquaintances started to mock me with a nasty nickname that...|||Yes.  Sx, then so.    I am pretty sure I am a 9 first.  I had a major crisis in my life last year, which sent me on the path of healing.  Using the enneagram health levels, I most clearly aligned...|||Hmmm, I am comfortable being quiet at times.  I didn't start talking until I was almost 4.  I remember being 11 on a long car ride with my aunt and we started talking and she said, I never remember...|||Can a 9w8 be talkative and active?  I fit the rest of the description and I know it is my anger fix, but I am just not a quiet nonobtrusive guy.  I am instead pretty vocal....  I used to be...|||As someone in a ISFP-ENFJ relationship, I wonder if a ENFP or INFP would have been better.   Where we struggle is communication.  She is so Sensory, it makes things very hard, especially her dislike...|||I used to type as a INFJ.  I was certain I was an introvert.  A few things helped me see the difference.  First, ENFJs are quick to react, INFJs are slow to react.  Second, ENFJs are ok with more...|||in part (thank you, avoiding dad and unattached mom, plus my wife).  But it is also accepting that we need to love ourselves rather than hope someone else will.   Focused on other's needs, we so...|||Unfortunately, no one will understand.  No one will care about you like you care about them.  At some point, you need to stop looking outside for validation.  Instead, you must focus on meeting...|||I determined I was a ENFJ rather than INFJ by looking at the inferior function.  http://personalitycafe.com/enfj-forum-givers/76757-recognizing-inferior-function-enfjs.html ...|||The NFJ co-dependency trap is real.  Accommodate and give, excuse and give more.  Find a super needy person but even then you give up too much.  Their expectations are reasonable, even if one-sided. ...|||What was the book?|||I have grown a beard twice and liked it for a day or two then shaved it off quickly....... it bothered me too much, I kept touching it..... not my thing|||As I read this, I see a lot of denial.  You claim to have been emotionless when you quit the play, but that was classic emotional retreat.  You hoped for and planned for disaster.   Instead her...|||Yes.  Yes. Yes.  My brother and I have a great relationship now, crazy enough.  I have forgiven him, though he has never asked for it.  I finally only told him off at 25 when I got married.  My...|||My ENFP friend says we can't be faulted for our choices when we are young. We are just that, young, disrupted many times by childhood.  But when we are closer to middle-aged, there are fewer...|||Bipolar.  I suspect it was a lot of my father's fault.  He is a ISTJ and very avoidant.  He decided after being married two years he made a mistake and hated the marriage.  He pushed my mom away,...|||Sorry for the unwanted advice.  I will cease dispensing such.  Well, I have empathy in bucket loads for you, given my issues and problems.  My biggest is the enormous hole deep inside that...|||Seeker, that is quite the pattern and your mom really did a number on you.  Now the you are empowered to break the pattern, I feel you can be true to yourself.  I can't believe you had so many anal...|||Seeker, you have quite a collection of messed up exes.  I hope you can find a nice, well adjusted problem free guy this next time.....  Any patterns in the past relationships that might help you...|||I have never led someone on purposefully.  They might misread signals.  I am a very friendly guy, but this sometimes gets confused with flirting.  Usually, I am just interested in the person, their...|||There is the rub.  My wife can be happy wife and helpful and friendly and kind and etc., but she has never apologized gor anything or recognized she did anything wrong.  She doesn't remember any of...|||Having read these new posts, there are types that do a lot of memory rewriting to only fit their current narrative, making themselves look good to others.  My ISTJ father has a completely illusionary...|||Thanks for sharing your therapy experience.  I had never gone on my life, not thinking I needed it.  I would like to try EFT with my wife, once she can start talking about us without getting...|||The ENFJ ex of my ENFP friend refuses to do therapy.... one of the reasons he is her ex.  She went to therapy after 10 years of marriage and got healthy and he didn't like it, refused to go himself. ...'