'I'm so hesitant to be completely open with how I feel because if he's not ready to connect emotionally, my emotions may just push him away. I sent another text since I started this thread. It was...|||Could it be both?   What if you were knew you also hurt the person? (he admitted earlier the situation wasn't fair to me.)|||I am over him hurting me. And that's why I had to cut him off. So I could handle it myself. Because he wasn't in a place to do so. But it doesn't exactly feel good now that he's ignoring me. :/|||That's exactly what I did! I liked something back later that day. But then nothing else happened. So then I finally texted him 10 days later. Just yesterday. And nothing.|||Would you actually like their pictures though if you were still angry? I don't necessarily blame him but I can't seem to gauge where he is.|||The reason why I say he's not mad is because after each message I sent, we had some social media interaction. The second time, he even went on the account I removed him from after I said I didn't...|||I said I failed to see his side of things.      No, no retraction. Honestly because I didn't know what he wanted.|||It was by text. I basically said I wish it hadn't gone the way it did and tried to understand where he was coming from (in how he hurt me). The second time I sent a nice easy going funny text I know...|||What if you also hurt that person and you know you did? But you didn't really want that reaction? Would you be able to be understanding and forgiving and try to work through it when the other person...|||I told an INFP I didn't want him in my life. It was an emotional reaction, but he did something to really hurt me. But I also handled it poorly.   Things have calmed down, and I have tried to...|||I'm not sure what to call what it is he's doing. He's avoiding getting emotionally close to anyone. So he won't stick with one person. I think I was the closest he got to that. And I only have...|||I guess it's possible he felt some rejection by it, but why would he? He wasn't ready for something serious, and he knew that's what I wanted, and I couldn't hang around at his convenience while he...|||Stare|||Darts|||Life|||I know the easiest thing to do is walk away from this. I guess that's not what I want. I'm fairly sad about it, but I've worked on being steady and consistent and thinking long term.   I would...|||Welcome to the I had an INFP withdraw from me club. :)    I don't know that any of this will help you, but I had an INFP withdraw from me. (I'm also ENFP). If you want to peruse through that...|||I need to give an update on this.   I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. I'm struggling to reconcile new things I've learned in my head. I guess any thoughts, ideas, relating, etc. may help me...|||No you didn't hurt my feelings at all! You're being realistic...and looking out for my well being. I'm okay with that. I'm a hopeful person but also fairly realistic. (Raised by an istj mother). My...|||Thank you! I would say the same thing to a friend. It's helpful to make sure I take care of myself while trying so hard to understand him. A friend told me recently that I look for the best in people...|||I relate to this! The going back part. That's why I'm very cautious letting my emotions go. I felt them coming on strong with him so I asked him are you ready? Are you sure you're ready? Are you...|||Thank you for this! That brings me peace because it gives me a better understanding of what is going on inside of his head. Plus, in all honesty, I don't feel like I did something wrong.   What do...|||Thank you for saying this because I grew up hiding my emotions and feeling needy because I had needs. That's a whole other story but my emotions were not fostered growing up. And so I tend to feel...|||I know he's drained. And I think I can understand it because I've been drained when my mind is on overdrive, especially if I'm being hard on myself. That is more of a focus to him than I am and so he...|||I'm not familiar with this theory. I'm curious. I'll have to check it out. I don't think it's about what I'm giving him. I think it's what I expect from him. Mostly I expect engagement....|||I think he's just not capable of it now. I would guess, as an infp, the lack of seeing the future is what is draining to him. I think he's in an Fi-Si loop stuck in the past. He knows where he is...|||I also thinks he likes me but he's pulled away and i don't think conversations about the situation will get him any closer. Honestly, if I have the strength and patience to attempt to make him feel...|||I know. And it does hurt. I keep thinking I can be logical about it but I need a serious drop in expectations in order to be logical.   I am very good at not letting my emotions go if I think it's...|||You're right. I'm not setting any. I've been on both sides of this before. I told him a week or so ago I'm concerned he'll lose respect for me if I'm giving him more than he's giving and he seemed...|||We talked.   I'm trying to place all of my anxiety about this situation over here or in discussions with friends so as not to overwhelm him.  He said being in a relationship would be a roadblock...|||Maybe you're right. I feel like I may have gotten to the bottom of it and that's that he doesn't want to let go of his past yet. He didn't tell me this, but when I asked some questions, it came out. ...|||I get this. And I agree. I'm the same way. But when I back off, he will still initiate with me. When I ask about it, he says he's conflicted. I'm really not trying to wedge my foot in the door though...|||I don't feel pressure. I just really have a strong vision for a future with him. I don't get these visions for people often. But I am better at finding them now, as I'm a bit more experienced at...|||And this is why I ask other people in my life but this whole thread has me at the conclusion they are wrong. It makes more sense now.      So. My first reaction is to the five years. This scares...|||Thank you! This is immensely helpful.   I'm listening to what everyone else in my life is telling me, which is basically that he wants out and he doesn't have the heart to tell me. I was mistreated...|||Exactly, he's afraid of another breakup. Things will work means we'd get married. He's afraid of hurting me which will hurt him. I don't know all the details from his last relationship, but he was...|||Haha, well that wasn't what I expected.   But I can't disagree with you. Lol. Not much of a choice. :)   I do like trees! I've been all over the redwoods and sequoias over here.|||The U.S.|||No, no, we did meet. We spent three different days together. Things went really well. According to him, that's why he freaked out. He said he has to KNOW things will work because he can't face...|||Thank you, and yes, it makes me wonder if it's a similar situation. I don't think he's like that, but I didn't think the other guy was either.|||What is the conflict for you between something good and a deeper feeling? What resolves that for you?|||If he's definitely out and that won't change, then I need to immediately work on being done. I don't want to cause myself further pain. He never says it's me though. He says he's conflicted and would...|||Yes. I hung around and kept trying when the other person was clearly on his way out while he was staying in the relationship.|||No. I just miss him, and I don't want to let him go.   I'm just afraid I'm being foolish by sticking around....that he really doesn't want me. Everyone seems to think that. I have not put myself...|||It's not fair to me, no. But I also am torn that we are missing out. We both have things with each other that we've never had. I know he'll eventually be fine (he thinks he may not be, and I know...|||I feel like I want us to have a chance, and I would wait for that, if I knew there was one.   I don't want to heal him. I am a firm believer that that is a bad idea.|||Then wouldn't he say, let me get things together, and we'll take a crack at this later?   And if that's the case, what is the best thing I can do. I'm afraid by sticking around, I become a comfort...|||I'm bad at being succinct. Please bear with me. If anyone has any suggestions, points of view, or if you relate or understand any of the below, I'd appreciate your thoughts.   I began a...|||...|||I think people define forgiveness differently. Obviously it can affect the one forgiven. One may seek forgiveness to have a place in the forgiver's life. The forgiven may feel badly about his act and...'