'One of my major dislikes is snobs...I meet way too many people who believe their tastes and preferences are of an elite set and go about rejecting others without any qualms.  And so due to my dislike...|||It's interesting that the OP mentioned having attracted a couple of INFP males and I don't think this happened from random chance.  I mean if you think about what it's like from the POV of an average...|||I am definitely an artistic type and enneagram 4.  But what's strange is that others don't see me that way because I am not scattered and messy enough to fit their stereotype of an artist.  My...|||this is funny, but I'm in the same odd predicament.  People have always told me what not to try, that I shouldn't try something too difficult.  My talents and skills seem to be almost completely...|||People seem to dislike that I am very conscientious.  Sometimes people will like me a lot until they see how self disciplined I am which leads them to compare themselves unfavorably.    I don't know...|||Finding real best friends is very difficult, not because there aren't enough nice, good people in the world, but because in order to be at a best friend level there has to be major compatibility on a...|||It's funny because most of the replies on this thread are an attempt to reassure the OP that this girl is most likely not ignoring her deliberately.  And this is what I've found in real life too with...|||ESTJs that I've known outside my family (my sister and father are ESTJs) are A-okay in my book.  I guess I know they will never be my best friends, but I respect and like them for the role they play...|||I've found that extraverts are like this the most.  They love new people OR people they haven't seen in a while so when they see them they are new again.  Introverts are the opposite.  They are quiet...|||There definitely is some connection between traditional, simpler societies and having a beautiful natural kindness.  Gardening, wooden items and greener options are becoming more popular as people...|||Most ESTJs are 3s, there was a poll about this on the forum.  Oh, oops, my mistake.  I don't know why I thought a lot of ESTJs were 8s.|||I think INFJs and INTJs probably look pretty identical to one another.  Many people have mistaken me for INTJ or even INTP even after getting to know me.  I believe the J creates a sort of careful...|||Maybe this is a trait of ESTJs, but only the unhealthy ones.  In the case of my sister, she really really values competency and success.  Like I would say those are her top values, very different...|||I know what you're saying WickedQueen and I could even see myself giving the same advice to somebody else, but I don't see why it's so bad to alter yourself a little to keep the peace.  I don't know...|||She would deny it; There is no point in bringing it up.  I have asked her to give our cousin another chance, but she won't really even talk about it.  She just says that she doesn't like how our...|||My big sister's an ESTJ and I've found that the best way to get along with her is to follow her lead.  I also make sure not to 'show her up,' meaning even if I know something she doesn't I'll keep my...|||When I am lucky enough to find another INFP I always try and overcome my shyness to get to know them.  But oddly enough I don't think they like meeting somebody who is so much like them, who is...|||I discovered that I love to learn only after I graduated from college..Somehow being told when and what to study made the whole thing  very unenjoyable.  I often wonder if I could have accomplished...|||My sister is an ESTJ/enneagram 8 and she has a good heart deep down, but one of her issues is that she has great hatred for people who seem to demonstrate a more natural ability in certain areas that...|||Some ESTJs are terrible conversationalists--it is strange because they are extroverted, but at the same time will want to talk of only their interests     I find the ones who listen to my...|||This is something I see done all the time, but most probably don't even realize they are doing it.  What I've seen is that the person will at first realize that they did something wrong and this...|||I've noticed tendencies in groups of women.  The tall and or heavier ones dominate and the slim ones are quieter, more agreeable.  My theory is that the differences are from underlying hormone...|||Sounds just like an old INFP best friend I had once upon a time.  Our friendship ended when she started to think of herself as victimized by me.  Looking back, when we were on good terms she did the...|||Jealousy comes from a false belief that other peoples' lives are easier.  Life is hard for everyone, but in different ways..So someone who appears to have it all or has something that you would like...|||It's so hard to see ourselves accurately...Your type is a generalization and the problem is that we know too much about ourselves.  We can always see an exception that breaks the rule.  I've known...|||Not all leaders are the charismatic type though.  I think most are just really well integrated into the external world and get a natural 'high' off getting others to do what they tell them to.  It's...|||Other societies have a niche for spiritual/impractical types of people.  But our western society really doesn't have a place for us, so we are always forced to 'learn' how to be something we're not. ...|||I don't know if this would qualify as an outburst, but when people are acting 'difficult' I can only ignore it for so long.  The problem with calling people out on their behavior problems/ meanness...|||When I've been in leadership positions I've been pretty good at getting a successful project completed, in fact very good.  The problem I've had is that there is always somebody who does't want to be...|||Some may call what I do holding a grudge, but actually it's that I learn somebody's basic nature and then respond accordingly.  I think a lot of people get away with terrible behavior because most...|||I hope I didn't give the impression that I'm forcing myself to be some kind of extrovert with 5000 friends...My becoming more social has been a natural process and I certainly don't try to force...|||My husband is INTJ and my two closest friends are INFJ and INTJ..and it's not like I'm targeting INXJs...So yes, I am attracted to or I am attracting a certain type for sure.  But it's all kind of...|||Snail, this is my thoughts on your post.  Now you could be right that INFJs are less willing to fight for one side, but I have another take on the situation that might explain things.  Open conflict...|||As a child I heard you're too sensitive occasionally.  But then in college I heard you're too girly from females as an insult.  They of course saw themselves as 'strong' women, the ideal modern...|||They may not openly cry, but they will get depressed and lock themselves in their homes when some tragedy affects them.  They don't want people to see them as weak.  They will put on a good show of...|||^^Maybe that's my problem...I meet another INFJ/INFP IRL and I think, wow, we are really alike, we should be friends and they are actively trying to avoid people...which I should understand since I...|||What I've worried about is people thinking I'm trying to be deep and intellectual, like some form of elitism that I've chosen.  Weirdly I think this makes people think they must have had a harder...|||Growing up as a typical introvert I never had boatloads of friends.  I always attributed this to my shyness and lack of friendliness.  Content with my best friends I didn't even have much of an urge...|||Since I don't fit neatly into any box and people can't figure me out I get discrimination from both sides.  The clique of alternative people think I'm mainstream because I don't care about hipster...|||I almost wish people would say that to me; At least that would clear things up for me.  Usually what happens to me is people just don't respond to a comment I make that's a little more insightful...|||The crusader type is how I'd describe the INFJ...which has a tendency to push me away.  I don't think the J function has much to do with how clean a person's environment is, but more on how irritated...|||Sensitive people probably do get depressed more, but I don't think we are really more 'unhappy'.  I hope that didn't just sound like a total contradiction.  What I mean is that many types bury their...|||I'm a mother and one of my best friends is an INFJ and we both believe in teaching children how to have 'down time'.  There are too many extroverted parents who keep their kids going non-stop with...|||This is what I was thinking too...I am very much against thinking of myself as being higher than anyone else.  I really detest anything hierarchical, but in many ways the INFP does appear to be more...|||My father was more of a narcissist in his younger years (ESTP), but I think with maturity and difficult life experiences he's changed a lot for the better.  He even expresses intolerance towards...|||Most people who are making their living in a creative field are often times extremely confident to the point of being borderline egotistical.  I think this is almost necessary in a domain where you...|||People who have experienced a near death experience will usually be forever changed after the event.   Many of the 'new' traits seem to be traits that INFPs already have to some degree or another. ...|||I really like what you emboldened...The last line almost gave me chills.  The line that also stood out to me was The abuser might learn how to acquire these qualities, but that presupposes a modesty...|||Fake eccentrics are different in style mostly, nothing deeper than that.  Their behavior is usually completely mainstream.  It's really a great social strategy...You're different enough to be...|||It is hard to have self esteem in a society that places so much value on outer, material and communal successes.  Many of the skills that INFPs excel at aren't obvious and many find useless or are in...'