'All this time by Sting is a favorite is mine. It reminds me of when my grandfather died. The irony of a happy song about death always gets me too.|||Sure, but your language change in no way makes that clearer. It's just as easy to say that the dominance they prefer isn't unbridled, that they still have limits and preferences. It isn't like...|||I don't see the value in this. It is implied in our replies that the partner is competent and consensual to begin with. They get to the sexual situation the same way as any other partner but during...|||I'm pretty sure that most would say competence is required to truly be dominant.  The entjs I've been with truly like being bossed around, for someone to force them out of their heads. They...|||Having been with a couple ENTJs--and I'm with one at the moment--I find that they like to be controlled in the bedroom more than anything. They spend so much of their lives in charge--planning,...|||Probably, but she seemed happy and I didn't want to alienate my only emotional support. I originally pursued her for friendship and value what we have in that regard.   Funnily enough, after...|||I actually forgot that I made this thread. I haven't seen my friend much. We are still very much on friendly terms and communicate every once in a while, but life has been busy for both of us. She is...|||This ceased being INFP-relevant a while ago, but a couple people seem to like reading the updates every once in a while, so here's one:  I think I'm in an exclusive, or at least semi-exclusive,...|||I'm not terribly worried about the ENTJ. My longest relationship (over 6 years) was with an ENTJ and it worked for us. We both are competent on such completely different levels that things stay...|||Since you asked...  There are STILL ups and downs, but the general trend is up. I'm still fighting some personal demons--not directly related to the topic of this thread--but there are some good...|||I wish I did. Let me know if you figure it out. I usually like hanging out with 1-2 people at a time, but it's hard to build the type of relationships where that's comfortable.|||Friday is my day off and I spend most of it cleaning/doing laundry. I try to make Friday date night when I have women in my life, but recently that area has dried up a bit. The last few weeks I've...|||Coagulation   We pick at them, those post-palpable people, Reopening wounds that were better left Behind the aegis, however feeble, Of the fortified heft  Of steeled blood and mind-- Where...|||I've considered this too, and I'd love for it to be the case. When you were in this situation, did you pull back on initiating contact/hanging out? She has a bit, and I don't want to come across as...|||I certainly haven't been direct. It's been a tacit agreement so far that this would be discreet because of the friendship I had with her ex up until now. That friendship ended literally days ago--not...|||Update: While making a post to my blog, I saw an update to hers talking about how excited she is about getting texts from this other guy and some cutesy pics about distance relationships. It seems...|||While I concede that the situation is complex, this comment is completely uncalled for. There is nothing insane about this post, and telling me to go elsewhere, especially after I referred to...|||I'd like some advice. It's not necessarily MBTI related, but I like this community, so I figured I would post my situation here.   I'm an INFJ, as is a friend that I have been having an ongoing...|||Blackhole consternation, Recalling once-bright constellations-- Full of people, and of life; of lovers and their strife;  all spinny and revolvy on axes fraught and wobbly, Bounding towards...|||Thank you very much for this response. Before this girl, I was more like how you describe your husband. Now, everything seems far more daunting; it's hard to go back after feeling like someone truly...|||Some are. One of my best moved out to California on a whim and is doing great out there (I live on the east coast). Others live in state but about 2+ hours away and I see them maybe twice a year. One...|||Friends, casual and close, whom I respect and who respect me. I've never had a lot of friends, but I've had a few close ones that I miss dearly. The few people I have in my life right now don't meet...|||Mostly a stagnating social life. The last 4-5 girls I have been involved with over the last couple months have been insecure girls that initially approached me, put me on a pedestal, and watched me...|||I was when my school did plays. Part of the way through my four years, they switched to only doing musicals, and while I can play and sing, I can't really dance, so I became less involved. As a...|||Obligatory two month update:  Things are a little better. I have a new full-time job for one. An opening at my part-time job led to me becoming director of the center, and while it's a bit of a pay...|||I'm not doing so well. I still haven't found a new full time position, and fear it will be extremely difficult to with a (forced) resignation on my record. As a result, I need to immediately move out...|||It's funny you mention ISFJs. Both my mom and little sister are that type. The relationships work, though there is a pretty fundamental communication barrier. I speak almost completely in metaphor,...|||Thanks for the input. I agree to a certain extent, but I know she is in a pretty happy, committed relationship right now and is able to give healthy love to someone, just not me. At this point, I...|||My longest relationship was with an ENTJ and it was pretty solid all around. We complimented each other very well overall. My perfectionist tendencies and contentedness with not being very social got...|||About two weeks ago I received a PM asking for an update on my situation. It's gotten pretty interesting.  In April, I was informed that the school heard about our relationship from a reliable...|||I thought I should give you guys an update (more like I feel the need to write some of this out). It's been a little over a month since we last spoke, more than three since we've seen each other. I'm...|||It's been one week since we talked on the phone. It's gotten easier to bear, but not an hour goes by that I don't think about her in some way. I understand that most of this isn't my fault, but I...|||The selfishness definitely stood out to me on the phone. I honestly think the situation was becoming too difficult and she went out of her way to look for reasons to make it not work (beyond the...|||Mini update: Still a bit too broken up to accomplish much: I can't get any work done and I can't get myself out of the house. I was supposed to go to a bar with a friend and ended up falling asleep...|||Your advice was very much solicited and is appreciated, and after this experience, I have to agree with it. Talking to her in some ways just frustrated me more, and while it may have relieved her of...|||Thank you. I'll get there eventually. I'm sure it's a whole bunch of little things like little arguments over favorite poets, as well as the huge things, like just how much of herself she had given...|||Watching the movie again now that I said that. Her character isn't just like the girl in question, but I definitely connect to J. Gordon Levitt here.|||Yeah I fluctuate with that. When I remember those great moments it's hard not to, but I do realize she has many faults, not the least of which is not knowing what she does. And while I found her...|||Earlier in the thread I posted on the phone conversation we had with each other. I got about as definitive closure as anyone can reasonably expect. She explained how she felt as best she could and...|||Absolutely on the first bit, but I take absolutely no solace in her or you getting just rewards. I'd rather she be happy without me than miserable any other way. She hasn't had much in the way of...|||Thanks, but your kind are downright cruel! If it just stayed a silly little affair, I wouldn't have been hurt so badly, but she escalated it so quickly and with such ardor...and I followed. I know...|||You're right. Thank you. This is some of my INFJ obsession coming out. I often feel so misunderstood and it felt damn great to feel like we understood each other, and at least on an empathic,...|||Thanks for the feedback. It all sounds right on point, and demonstrates that maybe I've been approaching all of this too selfishly. Maybe the majority of it really was on her end and nothing I could...|||Hi everyone. This is the email she sent in response to mine before we talked on the phone:  To Me,  I was uproariously drunk on the floor of my Jersey bedroom and checking my email for a...|||Thanks. Though I understand that it needed to end, I really hate not knowing what she truly thinks of me and that something I said led up to this. She even admitted it was an inconsequential thing...|||So I talked to her for about an hour and a half tonight, on the phone this time. We were about as conclusive as anyone can expect to be. She said things went sour for her when I violated some aspect...|||That's a pretty big one for me. I took serious pain killers for the first time this weekend (had my wisdom teeth removed) and it seriously mellowed me out. I always thought it was bizarre that people...|||I honestly have no idea. I just needed to say it. It was pretty selfish, honestly, but after the connection and intimacy we shared I refuse to let this end pathetically. Even if she doesn't respond,...|||Because I'm a masochist, I wrote an email to her providing closure for myself. I felt our last conversation inadequate. If you have the time and patience, I'd like to know if I was foolish for doing...|||Well, yes and no. I think the circumstances are a lot more to blame here than either of our personalities--though her age and inexperience factor in quite a bit--as I was able to draw her out quite a...'