'if i don't know it, i wouldn't say it. i just don't know how to do it right.|||You are probably right. Why is he doing this to himself though? He told me he wanted to have a family in the next couple of years. All the girls he met he found reasons to leave them.|||yup, he wanted to 'fix' me...he told me that at the beginning...either overestimated his ability or underestimated the severity of my condition.  I know I need to work on myself. I knew this all...|||I basically fulfill #3, 4, 5....#2, he said i was smart, but i let my emotions get to me whenever we debate, i constantly felt like he was attacking me....#1, I can do something about it....#6,...|||You gotta listen to this guy's requirement for his girl 1) fit (hence not chubby like me or super skinny) 2) smart (in his standards) 3) not materialistic 4) Asian 5) pretty face 6) not...|||Misha Thank you for giving me your 2 cents. I feel like I need to clarify about the 'not smart enough' and 'fat' comment. He in a several occasion said he thought I was smart, but it was my emotions...|||Marimeli Maybe you can take a lot at my thread about my INTP ex, perhaps you can give me some advice on that =) I don't know to link it here though..|||I just love men who read. Cannot deal with someone who never put their hands on books.  First thing I went into a man's place, I check out their bookshelf. It satisfies my curiosity of books I've...|||by classy i don't mean 'high-class' bourgeois ppl....i mean ppl who appreciate the art of language and.....old wooden furniture..if that makes any sense|||I think that's hot. I'd love to flip through the books and ask you about them. The smell of mahogany just intensifies the mood, nerdy yet exotic.   Just what I thought as an ESFP who loves books...|||omg, I'm so glad I found people who feel the same!!!!!! My ex loves complaining about everything, anything!!!!! From street signs to servers in restaurants.|||My seretonin level is heavily regulated by my SSRIs.|||Guys, it's like 3:24 am here in fried rice land....keep the posts coming please! Will response once I wake up...  much appreciated!!!!|||oops  but isn't it just normal? when you love someone, you want that person to be happy? and I did (when I was stable).....   but i think the only way to make him happy now is to leave him...|||I don't mind getting a few sarcastic responses when there are new good responses.|||Argh, I am new here and I don't know how you guys quote part of a post.  Thank you for being so thorough with you explanations. About him having a big heart, I do agree to a certain extend, he...|||I was a challenge to him. This damaged girl who needed him rescuing. When he realized he couldn't deal with it, he got frustrated. I did make it pretty clear that I am insanely crazy for him, he...|||we broke up once because he said i stressed him out when i was stressed. I tried really hard to be more positive and cheerful when we met up (not as a couple), and eventually, we were together...|||call me hopeless but i miss him so much =(|||No, I appreciate your honesty and your opinion.  First, I do live in a culture where men tell women what to do, but that's mostly in my grandparents generation. There might be subtle tendency of...|||[QUOTE=gingertonic;2666990]gingertonic, i have a problem!!! wahhhhhh here are the reasons my boyfriend is a dick!  well here are 3 possible solutions to the situation  YOU DON'T GET IT STOP...|||wahhahahaa, jackie chan is from where i'm from btw...|||A lot of people misunderstand the term 'validating feelings'. It is just like showing the person you acknowledge they are having such feelings and it is okay to have those feelings. A kind of...|||In where I'm from, we don't have hurrican but typhoon =) but yes, I get what you mean.  But it's precisely why I think he could handle me, after having so much experience since he was born!|||He is very good =)  He did one thing that targeted right at people who got BPD like me, he validated my feelings but showing he understands what I am going through and why I am having emotions I am...|||You know what? The first time we broke up, it was precisely because he said I stressed him out when I was stressed. After the first break up, I dealt with my stress problems, I am a lot more blubbly...|||dealing with emotions is one big problem with him, another major one is he said I cannot engage in intellectual conversation with him on certain topics cuz I get defensive and sad... as I said, he...|||just a shout out to people who took their time and read my posts, and esp those who replied, thank you! I am stubborn as fxxk and you guys are doing a great job convincing me and making me feel...|||I agree anyone who can take this shit (aka me) is a tough one. He said he could handle it originally cuz he has a PTDS mom and a bi-polar ex....so he looked at himself as the distress women expert i...|||That's what I have been practicing lately...mindfulness, let things come and go without minimizing and exaggerating it. It just became impossible this couple of days when all i can do is sleep and...|||Okay, I got a super dumb thing to ask, i basically know the answer already but i just needa hear it from someone else.  If I move on (or pretend to move on)...will it make him stop and think what...|||I live with my family, just like most of the unmarried woman in this tiny asia city. What does that 'no contact' rule do for me? I don't get it, it is driving me nuts not texting or emailing him.......|||He came back to me once, and he won't anymore?|||But he wanted me before....he was the one who pursued me....   So you're saying I should respect his choice of leaving me? And leave him alone?|||I need to think about this...  and PEOPLE, I am working on myself, I have significant improvement in the last couple of months. Just so you understand personality disorder cannot be dealt with in a...|||Yea, so why did he leave?   anyways, it's not just with him, I respect monogamy, I practice monogamy. I just believe that men, some men, have the genes in them that make sure they spread their...|||we love cooking, we cooked for each other, we both love spicy food....we love animals, we talk about animals and hang out with his dog a lot... he just got into yoga, i'm a certified yoga...|||I did last friday, next session is this friday. things just got so much worse since saturday. She met him once, and looked at our text conversations (so she can analyze us)....she did tell me to be...|||I am very accomodating. And because I do things feeling-based, I can step into your (you INTPs) easily, if i let myself and stop being stubborn. he has shown signs of giving in and tried to...|||HEY!!! be nice!!! >.<  about the trial period. i have been depressed for the last 10 years, he was the one who made me actively participate in my therapy and i had actually gotten better (until...|||i think he will appreciate me all the way, if he just let me....and stop convincing himself that we are not compatible...|||it's probably me being unrealistic, I think he will eventually know his dream girl doesn't exist and I'm closest to what he has...usually it took him 3 dates to decide if he wants to be with that...|||he does in some way, just not all the way...  so the verdict is, i should just give up?|||He did a lot of things for me that I didn't mention. Like going to couple therapy with me? Getting out of his way to make me happy?|||I need some clarification here, so are you saying I don't enjoy it? We initiated things 50/50....I enjoyed as much as he did. I am an ESFP, I can get kinky and crazy and at the same time love what i...|||he constantly wanted it, and tried to satisfy me as much as he could....we tried different things in bed and he loved it. I don't know....  there was a point he wasn't too interested, but after i...|||I have been single for a long time before I met him, and so did he... I guess there's a little part of me that just want to be in a relationship.  Guess I don't mind as much as I should about him...|||and this is actually our second time breaking up...he did take me back after the first time, out of boredom? what do you think?|||the 2 dates in a day thing...I am not sure if he was just trying to prove me/himself something. I did mention how girls in my city tend to love money and they seem to think white guys in the city are...|||That's a good question. I think he has the potential to be the person who makes me the happiest person on earth, and he said I have the potential too, but he said he doesn't wanna wait anymore... ...'