'Her and I have known each other for over 4 years, we dated a bit last year, never got exclusive/serious, kept in touch and did things together, so she knows me pretty well :)     She's quiet around...|||She's been texting me today wanting to have NSA sex, then that changed to just friends, as she is feeling alone and bored. At the same time she's calling me names again and blames all of her behavior...|||The age is not a concern for us. I am very healthy, active, fit and not your typical 48 year old. Plenty of stamina and Go in me!   She is more of an I than and E while I am more of an E than an I....|||I'm a late 40s male, ISTJ of course, though not an extreme one. Everyone who knows me swears I'm an E as I am very social and chatty and can be very Extroverted at times. I'm definitely and I...|||Late 40s ISTJ, recently dated a mid 30s INFP. I loved her quirkiness, her free spirit, her sense of adventure, her feeler loving side, her love of travel, her love for animals. I did not like her...|||She's 38, drinks heavily, self medicates, thinks it's a mans job/role to take care of her every need, emotionally and financially. She sees a therapist though it's my best guess it's not for root...|||Amazing, you described my 4 month relationship with her, and then the past 4 weeks of her going at me over text since I ended the relationship. I'd love to help her, I just don't think it's my place...|||As an update, I ended the relationship about 4 weeks ago after the events I mentioned in this thread/post. Wow, I have never seen so much evil and hatefulness, and threats, since then. She said...|||As an update, I ended the relationship about 4 weeks ago after the events I mentioned in this thread/post. Wow, I have never seen so much evil and hatefulness, and threats, since then. She said...|||Male ISTJ here and I am the same. I need to have a connection with a woman before we have sex. I have never had a One Night Stand and sex to me equals you are in a relationship. My buddies make fun...|||I understood, and I appreciate your feedback.|||This quote caught my attention. She was never good at eye contact. I love to gaze into a woman's eyes, especially during passionate romantic moments. She would look away and tell me it's too intense...|||Agreed, I never asked about her problems knowing this from researching INFPs; I let her talk to me and I just listened.   And yes, I do feel like she was always trying to guess what I was doing and...|||Her behavior is not cool, and she has done stuff like this in the past. This weekend she even said in the beginning it should be all about her, her needs, me taking care of her, that she deserves it....|||I am a fixer, though with her I do not fix, I do not try to change her, I do not point out her flaws, I do not pick at her; I keep quite and just listen. I noticed doing so gives her what she needs. ...|||This is exactly what she said this weekend after I initiated a break up conversation.   I initiated the conversation after an unrealistic financial request she made of me and when she also told me...|||It's been a while since I posted here. I'm a male ISTJ, mid to late 40s, no kids, divorced for over 4 years. I've had one serious relationship in those 4 years with an ENFP. I dated another ENFP...|||Should read INFP  It's been a while since I posted here. My 2 ENFP relationships did not work out, I ended them both. I then started dating another ISTJ. It was great a first but then we started...|||You describe me, to a T. Especially the sex part!|||Spot on with exactly what she kept talking about. When I tried to draw conclusion, solve our problem by stating we should she would say I am lamenting, I am feeling, all I need you to say is I...|||???|||Well said, and thank you. I want to wait until the end of the month, it's really not that long, before I move forward with my dating life. She feels worth it. I am getting on with my life...|||I am happy alone. I spend a lot of time, alone, and enjoy being by myself.   No clue where you are drawing these conclusions about me from. Lets agree you don't need to reply anymore, deal?  :-) ...|||Thanks man, great advice, wish I would have thought of that.   Note to self......|||Okay, any advise on how I should respond to her?|||Yes, they ARE easily hurt, which is a struggle for me. I hurt her with being passive aggressive a week before we agreed to Pause, as I was feeling hurt and upset about the whole crisis.   I don't...|||Huh?|||Here is my backstory with an ENFP I was starting to date: http://personalitycafe.com/enfp-forum-inspirers/221690-how-does-istj-learn-how-feel-if-they-want-relationship-enfp.html  The woman I dated...|||Finaly email:  Hi <insert her name>, I hope you and <insert daughters name>are doing well.     I have been thinking about the money that I loaned you and your intention to pay it back. I have...|||Thanks! I care about resolving this, closing this, and we both feel good about it.|||I just checked her LinkedIn profile for grins and giggles. The loan I gave her was to bridge a gap between a lower paying job and a higher paying job. She assumed she had the higher paying job in...|||I'll bite:   1. How are you in relationships? Kind of vague question. Emotionally I can be distant, I will shower you with small gifts. Sexaully, you will be warned as i am an animal and have a...|||USA, and I thought about what I would do if she did not pay me, could I, would I, take her to small claims court. The answer is, No, I would not. It is one reason I kept the emails, as documentation...|||I took your comments Dug and rewrote my reply. I realy do not care about a friendship with her. Though our breakup was amicable I have little interest in a friendship with her. All I really want to...|||I'm listening and appreciate your feedback.|||@BooMonster you are pretty much spot on with how I feel about this. I want to stop thinking about; it's the last thing between us and I want to close it up. But for her making such a big deal about...|||Kudos to you as an ENFP to read this book. I wish all of my E types would reead this book too!|||This, well said. As recent as 10 minutes ago I was called an Extrovert, yet again, because I am very social. Everyone thinks I am an Extrovert. I'm not, and I now, love it with all my new found...|||I use to feel this way myself, until I read this book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking  Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can&#39;t Stop Talking: Susan...|||Using the suggestions here, this is what I have drafted as a reply to her last email reply on the subject (she sent the reply a couple of days after I loaned her the money). She used the word...|||I think what I want from this is:  1 - Pay me back in full, one payment, when can you do this 2 - Pay me back overtime, how much and when 3 - Just tell me you are not going to pay me back  Any...|||Amazing advice, exactly what I am looking for here, how to approach her as an ENFP and how to communicate with her. I was going to be direct and say something like I hope you are doing well. I was...|||Well said. My female friend ENTP hears the same from folks in her social circle. I see her differently though. I love these qualities in her.|||ISTJ here, male, and my best female friend is an ENTP and we get along VERY well. We talked about this last night, how the Feeling in people drives her nuts, especially when she just wants a Yes No...|||She is the type, when she has money, she spends it. She wasted away family money, wasted away money she made from a good job before we met. She claims she gave it to friends and family to help them....|||My ex ENFP gf always had money issues the entire 12 months we dated. She said she would never ask me for money then. I broke up with her for other unrelated issues. 8 months later she came back to me...|||Volunteering and MeetUp groups: Find your people - Meetup|||I did exatly what you recommend during our brief 4 weeks of dating. I'm not a jealous or insecure type to begin with nor did I ever blame her for where she is now with this ex husband stalker. She...|||Not invading AT ALL. This is great advice.   My ex gf was an ENFP, and from reading your reply, probably not a mature one in understanding her NF and my ISTJ. The woman I recently started to...|||47 year old male ISTJ. I have suffered from General Anxiety Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder  all of my life. I quoted Disorder as I really do no tlike that word!  It's has gotten worse as...'