'It really depends on the situation, but generally it's my instinct to ask what's wrong and if there's anything I can do.|||Yes, and it's nothing to do with being stunningly beautiful or intellectually brilliant (I'm neither). It's that I can be intense. I look for and expect emotional intimacy too quickly and too...|||My point is we are interpreting the word negatively. It is reductionist to see calculating as also cold (or manipulative). I don't think it at all implies a a lack of respectful boundaries. Why do...|||You can be calculating without being manipulative (or cold). Ex: you have a long-term goal, such as getting into a competitive graduate program. For years you work at to getting good grades, you...|||Calculating, but not cold. I go out of my way to not be hurtful or otherwise mistreat people.|||I presume you don't see it more than twice though.|||I have Major Depression, and have for 20+ years. Some periods of my life have been better than others, sometimes almost normal. All details aside, I've tried to look at what about my life is making...|||I read somewhere that INFJs are exceptionally good at neglecting their own intuition and Fe, which is weird because we are quite in touch with it. It's almost a self-inflicted injury considering how...|||I'm not sure what you mean. I think questions posed to mean something else (known only to the person posing the questions) are at the very least not straight forward, and arguably also manipulative...|||All the time. Weird forgetfulness about details combined with weirdly good memory for other details. Often give people the impression I am not paying attention which frustrates them. Social idiot....|||I like pizza loaded with veggies, extra everything. I like a nice dry white wine with grilled shrimp.  *Note: what I like and what I actually eat are two different things!|||Everything happens for a reason.  Yeah, like someone made a stupid decision?!|||Probably more subtle and dangerous. They might be more likely to be in the helping professions, and be taking advantage of people as their therapist or doctor.|||It's all good. No, it is not all good!|||I find (and have heard from others) that green tea can be way more stimulating and anxiety provoking than coffee actually. I avoid the stuff for sure!|||Can't speak for other INFJs, but I find it exacerbates my anxiety problem.|||Most INFJs I know, myself included, have a spiritual streak that at least puts them squarely into the agnostic category.|||I am guessing that if you ever have the misfortune of a real life tragic injury or illness to a loved one, you will stop these fantasies.|||Not bad at pleasuring my partner, bad at letting go and letting myself be pleasured.|||You're not going insane at all. I have two graduate degrees, acquired at considerable cost and huge effort. But at 38 I've decided I want a totally new career. I plan on returning to school this...|||I always think I'll enjoy it more than I actually do.|||I love to express myself, but I think and type quickly. Ergo many typos! I usually edit longer posts multiple times, even if no one is reading them. Typos and other types of errors personally...|||Not in my case! Thin, yes, but muscular no. I get so bored lifting weights or doing crunches etc. When I walk, jog, use the Stairmaster etc, I can zone out into my own world, watch movies, listen to...|||Relatively speaking, I believe myself to be an above average writer. I must say that I see unusually thoughtful, concise and eloquently expressed posts on INFJ forums. So, based on wholly anecdotal...|||Tentatively hopeful middle-aged woman shyly blossoming. (I'm counting middle-aged as one word)|||I am sorry, I haven't read every reply to this excellent thread yet, but I wanted to relate my experience and opinion. I am currently a housewife/stay at home wife. I am a support system for my...|||Interesting. I used to like boxing, and will still watch boxing movies and documentaries. This from someone who otherewise claims to and really does generally abhor blood sport.|||Listening to others and making them feel heard. We are excellent therapists!|||I took it for a time and found it remarkably similar to Prozac. Both caused me to feel/act slightly manic, which does sometimes seem like an improvement to my depression, but I stopped taking it...|||Can't stand relationships with Es! They always fail because my idea of a good time is stay in and have one on one time, or go somewhere quiet and peaceful and have one on one time. Es idea of a good...|||This used to happen to me. Then my social anxiety got much worse and I started to feel no qualms about saying no to things I didn't want to do and/or feel obligated to do. Saying no is a way of...|||My spouse, who is likely an INTJ.|||Yes, I felt this way. I went from being stressed out to saddened by the dynamics of our relationship.|||So true. I struggled with what the answer was to the post, but when I read your reply I mentally went This!|||Ask your boss if you can drop the leftovers at a homeless shelter?|||Yes, absolutely. I was raised in a household where even physical illness was considered a sign of some kind moral or spiritual weakness. Mental health problems/emotional distress were considered a...|||6 au naturel, but I know how to work what I have, which can bring me up to 7ish.|||I find no contact to be the only solution. In other words, totally cut off the person who has violated my trust.|||Perfectionist shopping. I have an idealized vision of something in my head, and inevitably the item I purchase somehow fails. I end up with a lot of dupes.|||38, 2 graduate degrees and ready to start all over again studying something completely new. I found that as a people pleaser during my younger years, I picked up the somewhat narcissistic trait of...|||Yes, absolutely. Because I am very intuitive I am always taking in a lot. Sometimes it's difficult to prioritize the focus and significance of the information I am always taking in, I can end up...|||I am generally a people pleaser when called out of my shell. However, once someone has crossed the line with me, it's pretty much over and I am damn cold.|||Good question. I've found I am attracted to more melancholy type films and literature. I've often reflected on why. I think it's partly an appreciation of quality. Let's face it, comedy is one of the...|||Not exactly a ghost story, but supernatural of sorts.  When I was an adult and living away from my childhood home, I had a vivid dream that a cat that I had picked as kitten that lived with my...|||Confrontation sometimes makes my heart pound and causes me to physically shake.  I am an empath, so seeing/hearing about something very sad, reading about animal cruelty etc, can make tears come to...|||So, when I was a Sophomore in college I lived alone in a small ground floor apartment in a somewhat crappy neighborhood that also had its charm. It was far off campus, but since I wanted my own...|||Large nose, in general interesting face, not obese, smells good. I like full, gray hair. I don't care for piercings. Facial hair is a turn-off for me because it reminds me off my dad, whom I love,...|||It corrected some of the inner feeling of insecurity. I felt insecure because I had a disproportionately large and crooked nose, which garnered unwanted attention, thus making me feel bad. When the...|||I got 70%   I am quite empathic to an extent, but once someone makes it impossible for me to identify with them on a human level (ex: acts extremely abusive), I lose the ability to empathize with...|||1. Are you concerned about your physical appearance?  Yes, I exercise in order to stay very slim, not for health reasons. Same with not over-eating. I keep my hair nicely done, wear makeup daily,...'