'It sounds like the relationship was dying despite you trying your best. I'm sorry the guy didn't appreciate you more. I would make a list of all the ways he hurt your feelings and try to get your...|||SO TRUE. I was in a relationship with an ISTP for 3 years and he was exactly as you described. Really devastated me and left me an empty shell of a person by the time we were done. That hot and cold...|||I just had a long phone chat with my iSTJ and he definitely monologues and likes to explain things in a methodical way. But I don't think he 'lectures' ever. That's one of the things I like so much...|||I loved your vivid description of your boyfriend and the life of an island farmer! If I were in my 60s, he'd sound ideal!!  Well, I have an iSTJ boyfriend (a construction supervisor) and an ISFJ...|||Boring can mean:  ... not spontaneous ... predictable ... not emotion-driven ... careful, safe ... works and never plays ... unquestioning, sees something from only 1 perspective ... serious|||Hmm. I met my iSTJ online. There are so many apps now that can help you with that. It's still a numbers game for men but at least you'll sort of know which women are checking you out before you even...|||I'm an INFP in a semi-LDR with an iSTJ. Yup! He's definitely out of sight, out of mind. jcal explained it pretty well. My iSTJ likes to keep himself very busy, as a borderline workaholic. So he...|||Well, I mean... his comforting skills aren't like some therapist's level or anything... coming from my last relationship with an ISTP who had a baffling lack of empathy and thought making...|||Keep talkin'! ;) I would love if my guy was ESTJ -- theories of INFP/ESTJ Happily Ever After Duality and all that...   He could be what's deemed an Si-type ESTJ, where instead of Te they heavily...|||Welcome! I'm glad you started this thread. My bf is possibly an ISTJ or ESTJ, I can't figure out which but I'm leaning toward ISTJ. He is also outgoing, never says no to a party, and enjoys...|||I'm an INFP with an iSTJ bf, and I would say you did the right thing. Space for him to focus on the problem at hand, any practical and helpful suggestions, directing him to the right caregivers...|||My xSTJ guy wants to travel more, and would, but his duties and obligations to work and family come first.|||Yeah, I think this is just an ill-mannered ISTJ. My (probable) ISTJ guy thanked me multiple times to show me he appreciated what I did for his birthday (took him out to a nice dinner and burlesque...|||Any popular ISTJs with lots of friends and obligations to attend social functions? How to tell the difference between such an ISTJ and an ESTJ?|||INFP who's been dating an xSTJ guy for 9 months now. Yes. It works. It came with really rocky ups and downs at first, but we've settled into a tranquil stage now. He has stronger Si than Te, but the...|||My ESTJ guy grew up being one of the school jocks, and it would have been easy for him to participate in bullying. However, he said he didn't because he was teased himself due to a birthmark on his...|||Yeah, I guess it could depend on the individual and his relationship. The ones I know on FB are happily married (to INFJs oddly enough). However mine is almost 38, had been in a 6 year relationship...|||I have to agree with the other posters. I am more of a listener INFP and my xSTJ is more of a talker STJ, so this may be why it works for us, but it's so much easier to be around an Si-type than a...|||Ain't that the nice thing about SJs... whether you'll be on it or not by then, their trains (supposedly) almost always make a stop at Marriageville. Just relax and enjoy the journey. (It might be a...|||One thing niss has always said is ISTJs don't spend time with people they don't want to be spending their time on. Because their time is valuable to them, so it means something if they choose to use...|||Hey there. I am dating an xSTJ (probably an ambivert ISTJ) and the stuff I've bolded sounds familiar to me. We get awkward silences too from time to time. I've asked my xSTJ if my talking about...|||Love the card!! I'm borrowing the idea if you don't mind ;).|||No, all I got from my long distance iSTJ bf was a Happy Valentine's Day text. :( And then later when we talked on the phone, I found out he was really working that whole weekend and also injured...|||I've known a self-tested ESTJ man who was wired that way. And he was big, burly, deep-voiced, and intimidating so not at all wimpy to most people. Despite that he was very happily submissive in...|||Just another quick update:   We've settled on a schedule, which I think he'll rarely deviate from: He said to his company that he's available for work every other weekend, the rest of the time,...|||As an Ne-type INFP with an ISTJ boyfriend, I have this problem too sometimes. I feel bad as well asking him to re-explain or repeat himself. However, he doesn't really mind, as long as he has my full...|||Well, not to get too far ahead of myself, but he came through for me this weekend, and it was really wonderful. After almost 2 months of being apart because 1) I broke up with him in early December...|||The level of anguish and passion in that Thornbirds video is very NF/SF to me. It would probly scare any other type! :) The kind of romance my xSTJ and I have is more like a cozy warm fireplace as...|||My xSTJ is very prone to overworking in order to fulfill duty and feel good about himself. What is the best way to remind him that not being physically present actually has the opposite effect of...|||I feel like in some ways I am becoming one of his duties, and it's starting with the unrequested Good morning text he sends me every day. I never asked for it, and due to its lack of...|||I hope that's not true, but unfortunately, you sound like an expert on ISTJs. Do ISTJs derive JOY from working so much? I don't think they do, because mine complains A LOT, like he literally says he...|||That was beautifully put. Thank you for sharing your wise insights on this pairing! I see a lot of good balance + freedom + enough similarity to be comfortable in this combo as well. Really the only...|||Well, the xSTJ I know is physically imposing but oddly approachable. I say oddly because it seems only odd, likely extroverted, people approach him all the time, either to get advice or just...|||This is exactly him. For some reason, it's a relief to know it's just part of his personality and not workaholism per se. It's far more exhausting to try to fix or convince him something's wrong,...|||Well, since I wrote that post, the xSTJ and I have tentatively decided to give it another try. I did some thinking and reevaluated what I should be realistically expecting out of this long distance...|||I dated an xSTJ for 4 months and the main issue between us was how little time he could spare to see me.   I wanted and expected him to see me 3-4 times a month (we live 2-3 hours away from each...|||Sorry to resurrect this super old thread but I wanted to add on the topic of ISTJ/INFP... I bolded all the parts I resonate with in Flora's quote. She is spot-on. Except my guy was fairly dry and...|||I'm sorry to hear the news, Lola. If it's the same ESTJ you've talked about in all your previous posts, you guys must share a really long history, and that's very difficult to detach yourself from. ...|||Might not seem rewarding looking at it from a growth aspect, but the two are unlikely to clash when it comes to having similar mindsets and activities. But I do get a feeling that ENTJ might get...|||https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSNc13cmknE  Based off the older Australian man in this video, what MBTI  type do you think he is? Summary of the video is he basically describes how his...|||Hm... my ESTJ is the opposite -- he texts first (like 'good morning') and doesn't really ask questions. The other signs seem to show your ESTJ is at least interested in you as a person. Why not just...|||Hahaha!! Great story :). The funny thing about those high waist pants is that they were considered attractive in the 40s/50s and still can be if styled correctly. I like the way he sternly laid the...|||1) Is he single and 2) Can I have his number?  (I'll take any of the ESTJs mentioned in this thread.)   :P|||If by emotionally stunted, you mean emotionally unrefined, then yes. The two ESTJ guys I know seem to be that way. They have emotions, it just seems to me like they don't really know how to...|||I can tell you this much. With that level of arrogance, you will likely make an emotional situation worse, whether you can read it or not.|||Yes, key word is decent -- previous couple of exes were questionable in that regard. Also, fundamental compatibility is a huge thing. If it's not truly there to begin with, someone will eventually...|||I think you'd lose that bet. I can see the bigger picture better than that. :)  As far as your being able to solve it or prevent it, well I guess it's a case by case situation... personally I don't...|||I spent last Sunday with my ESTJ beau and I noticed he was quick to tell if my face didn't look happy. He didn't know why, and would ask, is everything alright? What's the matter? or You ok? I gave...|||As an INFP, this is pretty much exactly me and the ESTJ guy I'm dating too. He speaks exactly like yours, said pretty much the same thing to me, except I wasn't asking for more intellectual...|||Are you bigger and stronger than he is? :)  If not, it won't kill you to ask him to help you open that jammed pickle jar or help you dismantle a heavy piece of furniture, or sometimes pay the...'