'Totally clueless on this whole subject. Amazing that I ever got married.|||The hate fake is absolutely spot on. There is really nothing worse in my book. Do not put on airs and a fake smile.  It doesn't work with us.  At all.|||e.e. cummings, for this poem in particular:    the Cambridge ladies who live in furnished souls    are unbeautiful and have comfortable minds    (also, with the church's protestant blessings  ...|||Yes, but it did not end well.|||Its hard for me to accept rejection. Being fired, defriended in real life, not being accepted for who I am.|||Reading, birdwatching, photographing birds, watching some TV programs, posting on internet forums.|||I don't like Mother's Day.|||I don't really want to have friends at work. I want to have polite, professional, working relationships with them, and that is all.   I have had some comments over the past two years - such as You...|||Its rarely used.  No special categories of people. Most apt to apply to people in authority or who think they are.|||I also have this sense of duty and I think it is linked to having some self respect or pride in doing a job as well as possible. I also think loyalty is a praiseworthy quality.   I suppose certain...|||I agree that you just have to ask straight out. ISTJ does value an honest, straightforward approach.  If she wasn't interested in you, believe me, she wouldn't even be near you, much less you...|||If I know I can get someone to easily lose their temper, I might do something to push their buttons, just because its so easy.  But I am not sure if that qualifies as passive aggressive or just...|||Co-worker walks by ISTJ desk cubicle. ISTJ hunched over stack of work.  Co-worker backs up and says --I didn't see you there.  ISTJ:- I'm trying to hide -- maybe I should crawl under the desk,...|||Yes.  Although I can be very critical of others, I mostly keep my mouth shut.|||SiFan: I am sure you are right.  I just will only add I hope to never have any relations the rest of my life knowingly with INFJ.  I am sorry, that is my feeling, that understanding must be...|||Post deleted|||Oh no, I never expect to hear from her.|||I hold a bachelor's degree in Fine Art - studio art, painting and drawing.  I did well enough my senior year to get on the Dean's list and I always got good grades in art.  Unfortunately I am a...|||It was not exactly just a website it was Second Life.  I had to hear about it constantly for several years, and that was the only reason I said I didn't want to hear anymore about it. Instead of...|||rezo:  It took place in December, 2014.  It was cold, calculated, and meant to destroy my Christmas holiday as well. No holes barred, she knew me well enough to dig the knife in my back really well....|||I have been on the receiving end of an INFJ doorslam and will never understand it until the day I die.  I am not psychotic, not irresponsible, and was a very loyal friend.  I considered this INFJ as...|||The lists are in my head.  When I am in good health and doing well, I don't need anything else. I am efficiency personified, running like a well oiled machine.    I think the drawback is that...|||It depends on the excuse for the lateness, but it better be a good one!  People who are habitually late for dinner/movies/whatever with me will not last in the long run. I can excuse it once or...|||Today, a roast leg of lamb.  Turned out perfect.|||I don't care about birthdays/anniversaries. I also don't keep lists. I barely know my immediate family members' birthdays.   I don't like the feeling of being obligated by others to do something...|||What angers me most? Disloyalty and betrayal by someone who I thought was a friend. To a lesser degree, someone who does not respect my boundaries, which have been clearly communicated to them. ...|||Ordinarily withdrawn and distant, under extreme stress I become even more so. It is more and more that I don't want to leave the house. I may talk with friends, but my heart isn't in it. I just...|||You nailed it, ISTJ loves practical help, otherwise please just go away. I think the idea of shopping or cooking for ISTJ is a good one, as long as it isn't overdone or done in some way where ISTJ...|||I appreciated reading your post Sela.  I have had two periods in my life with extremely high stress. Losing my job, and getting a divorce. Its hard, very, very hard. I don't know about you, but the...|||Find out what she is interested in. ISTJ has always got a bunch of hobbies/interests that they are passionate about. To approach through friends would be a good idea, I think. Do not show up...|||If there is only one piece of advice I can give it would be to listen to the ISTJ very closely.  If the ISTJ says something you don't understand, or something that sounds judgmental or condemning,...|||Chanteuse, the advantage you had was he was your brother, and in your family.  Therefore, I think you would be unlikely to make the mistake I am describing.   I hope you don't think I am being...|||Yes, the guy seems like an ISTJ.  The major problem I have encounter in relationship with INFJ (long term friendship with one) is that INJF knows they can read most people like a book - that...|||I lost my job in 2010 and did the following: ate too much, started drinking too much alcohol, and then started spending money on my hobbies, that I really didn't have. At the same time I had a steel...|||Confusion.  The end of a 20 year friendship.|||Yes, but this was a 20 year friendship... nevertheless, it was the deal breaker, but this INFJ didn't even clue me in until 3 years later!|||Indeed, I had read Ligotti's Conspiracy Against the Human Race, and re-read it, and re-read it again, before I ever saw True Detective.  It was so amazing to see that someone else had pretty much...|||Very much so. We think a lot alike.|||Oh, and to the previous list, I have now been called controlling - that's a new one. If having reasonable boundaries that I would rather not discuss certain subjects is control then guilty as...|||You are in the public restroom in a stall by yourself and you hear someone else come in. You wait until they are finished, washed up and left the room before you come out.|||I have never been called boring.  I  have been called other things. I have been called quiet, not a nice person, homely, restrictive of another person's conversation, maybe a few other things I have...|||I think you are right. There is some huge and basic misunderstanding that is under the surface and that I really am unaware of.  I think that my personality type - ISTJ tends to hold onto...|||It is sad. I think the Second Life thing was just the thing that brought out some of the problems, and the problems may have been there years earlier, but under the surface.  I am a good listener,...|||Dear INFJ: We have known each other for over 15 years.  Our interests have changed and we have changed. Its inevitable. I know you would rather it not be that way.  I do not share some of your...|||visionaryspirit: Yes, it seems to center around a computer game. This lady has evidently made this virtual world almost her entire interest in life. She evidently only wants friends who like it too,...|||I always had a problem with math.  From the fourth grade on. Algebra was a nightmare. I almost didn't graduate high school because of it.|||Aizar: I appreciate your post. I don't get it either. What's an MMO? I don't know that many internet abbreviations. I only saw Second Life once, and its a place where you have an avatar that I...|||visonaryspirit:  Trust is a big plus in a friendship with me as well. And I do trust this person. For some reason, my apology of two years ago seems to have been not enough. I am almost positive it...|||Yes, but I am talking about 2 years here on the Second Life thing.   I mean, 2 years since I said I didn't want to listen to a one way description of something I have zero interest in.  I don't...|||Self acceptance is something I have worked on my entire life.  Its very difficult when you don't get any affirmation in that direction from others.   My only advice would be - to an ISTJ be as...'