'I've always been attracted to introverted guys. I had one E BF and either we were always competing or I turned inward. He was not one who could seem to turn inward at all, he derived all sense of...|||I agree with all that Kerry wrote and wanted to add that it obviously depends on who we give our love to. Some folks can accept our ENFP love and reciprocate, others can not and that's when it hurts...|||In my case, it was thoroughly sub-conscious. I would never consciously change myself just to please another, in fact I can't respect people pleasers, unless they are trying to fight that need and are...|||I definitely think this is my responsibility and while I have mixed feelings about the guy I wrote about, it's imperative that I learn how to not lose myself with anyone. The steps you outlined have...|||Yes, I've been wondering where you were! I saw what was at least infatuation with my INTx and it certainly seemed to have him distracted from everything else.  Is there ever a good reason for...|||I'm not sure how this turned into a thread on one night stands.   This guy and I were friends for a year before we even kissed.   It hurts tremendously to lose a friend in this way. He's too...|||Welcome!   And I second Closet's query about your travels...|||I prefer Robin Williams as an example of an ENFP male. Will Smith strikes me as superficial and that type of person (but I'll admit, especially the men) irritate me to no end. Williams has the depth...|||I'm encouraged by these statements because I feel similarly. I've found that certain groups of friends see me one way and another will perceive me in the almost an opposite way.|||Yes, that moment was sad albeit illuminating. I realized he'd always revert to his way of self-preservation (which I find destructive) despite everything we went through together.  Thanks and I...|||Just to clarify: we had been friends for about a year before it became physical.|||I've considered this but I don't know how I would feel about it. Before it became such an issue, I really enjoyed the physical intimacy but now it certainly is an issue.   Not sure where to go from...|||A few nights ago I said I thought we needed to take a break. Unfortunately, it did come up when he was already irritated with me but I felt I had to say it that night because I was either going to...|||Ha, when I was a teen I think my rage (and it was rage) over being broken up with was so intense I probably had a psychotic break :shocked::dry:and unfortunately, I did get a rep for being kinda...|||(Oops, I just saw this!) Out of curiosity, what did you read that swayed you?|||What are the benefits of an ENFP to you? I can see why an INTP would like an ENFP but I'm not so sure what the female ENFP would get out of it except some thoughtful conversation.   While I really...|||Flirting can be friendliness, and even I have a hard time explaining this. While it seems absurd to most other types, I've never really known the difference between being friendly and flirting --...|||Welcome!   I'm most likely an ENFP but relate strongly to the J-side too so I'll be interested to see how your experience here develops.|||This would not have readily occurred to me but upon reflection I think you have a point about us. I know that if someone accuses me of being insensitive, and it's early in the relationship, I do get...|||while i'm sure she does like you, make sure not to misread her friendliness for more at this time. without wanting to some enfps (especially female, i think) give others the impression that they are...|||Welcome fellow ENFP!  I just joined and have found the folks her have a lot of info and insight to share -- have fun learning :happy:|||As far as biographies go, one of the best I've read is of American poet Anne Sexton by Diane Middlebrook dwm.com | Books | Anne Sexton: A Biography  Another good book about Sexton is Anne...|||Can somebody elaborate on these differences for me?|||Yes, this is exactly what is happening. There is an unconscious drain. I've found that many people in my life become attracted to me because I have an energy to me, which others, especially the...|||I'm an ENFP who has been dating an INTx. Some of you may have read my post about how to handle the relationship on INFJ forum.   I spent some time with him this weekend but kept it brief (just one...|||I like bluntness, albeit with some good NF :laughing: padding.   Yes, I agree that I'm being hypervigilant and therefore it's hard to fully be in the moment. He may also be thinking about the...|||(Edited to be less wordy and hopefully a bit more PG.)   A few days ago my sex partner couldn't ciimax and became very cold and distant very fast. Soon after that I was dumb and seeked an apology...|||I had an eye opening experience with him within the past 24 hours. I'll elaborate in another post when I have more time but in all honesty, I don't think he'll interpret what I do, however I chose to...|||thank you for the link.  on the few tests i've taken i always score as a 3 or 6.   ahh, feels good in my balanced enfp skin ; )|||Huh, I read about ENFJ and also my stand-by ENFP and that site's description of an ENFP is me in these respects:   - I have been told I have this uncanny                                         ...|||Explain?   Will check it out...|||I just read that profile and while I'm sure I'm not, I can see why you'd think that based on what I've posted. It is important to me that I explain I care for this INTx.   While I have no idea how...|||Strangely, it's our time together, if private (because he's extremely tense in pubic places), that is almost painfully sincere. I don't mean sex, but all of our time. It's the disagreements that have...|||I quoted more than what I'd wanted. Specifically, this is what resonated with me:   Interesting that you mentioned J because I have suspected he could be that too. He is all about the details and...|||He got irritated with me when I asked what it had become and shut down. Since I'm quite unsure about what I can handle, I'm refraining from labeling it. I don't want to lobby for girlfriend status if...|||We are probably too early in the physical relationship to define it as more. I'd probably refer to it as dating.    We don't talk about the future. It's very much in the present, which I like.  ...|||Thanks for these links. They explain a lot.   So far, I know I'm Fe...|||NOTE: I posted this on the INTP forum but many there suggested my friend may indeed be an INTJ. Based on what I've read of each type, he certainly does seem to have more J traits such as being a...|||Some saw my intro thread so I'll try to elaborate a bit:  I identify with E but need a lot of time alone. I'm good with people when I'm not too nervous and have been dealing with that with what I...|||andrea: it hadn't occurred to me to identify with a type i'd never scored as but I'm actually encouraged, not confused by your information, so thanks. (of course, the fact that you're an INTP makes...|||Ah, thank you. Very informative and an insightful explanation.   So, what I may refer to as enthusiasm or charisma may strike some types as manipulative? (I realize that may be oversimplifying but...|||Thanks Starry!   From the brief time I've spent studying MBTi I agree with you about not spending so much time finding my exact type but more about learning how to identify and utilize my...|||While reading about ENFJs, I came upon a lot about manipulative ENFJs.   What behavior leads to this stereotype? Are others misunderstanding the ENFJ's motives?|||Well, I know a lot depends upon the situation: I may be naturally outgoing but certain types of social interaction stress me out so much I'll do most anything to avoid them, or while I'm passionate...|||Thanks to everybody for all the replies and the Socionics links were interesting. (Now to figure out the difference between Socionics and MBTI...)  I do think I am fairly well balanced because I've...|||Thanks! Of course, based on my most recent MBTI test, I'm far more P than J. Is there any info on how trauma may affect one's MBTI result? I think I'm naturally a J but sometimes fear or anxiety put...|||I've taken MBTI tests on similar minds and just now on MyPersonality. I have tested as ENFP, INFP, ENTP, and ENTJ.   How can I find more specific questions to find my type? I know that ENFJ fits me...'