'It's a godsend to be able to escape despair and monotony at will. Others have no outlet other than what is provided for them, and they only consume this information, never create it.  But we may...|||I think it depends entirely on if you want to participate in modern society, primitive society, or if you're a survivalist.  I have no problem with relative isolation (I have my husband, who is my...|||Do you find that idealizations give you a false sense of accomplishment or even wear you out?   I find it difficult to control daydreaming - I spontaneously imagine myself interacting with...|||Smaller circle means less variables.  You're doing great! Keep self-esteem and positivity up. Watch out for those negative reactions and trains of thought. Change your mental subject and change...|||We started a brand name disc golf company - we make apparel and bags. We travel around the US and Canada selling our stuff at tournaments and setting up wholesale accounts with local retailers. We...|||I get told by nearly everyone I have ever known that I look like I'm angry all the time.   Let me tell you - it's done me much more harm than good. Never can hold a job (though it was stupid to try...|||Aizar He absolutely wants to work through it. When I started this thread yesterday, I still had little clue as to what was going on in his mind and what was triggering the anger. Through the helpful...|||What am I going to do, divorce my husband who has been my only honest friend, lover, confidant, provider, protector and muse? NO  I intend to help him work through whatever issues he has because he...|||emerald sea I've always considered him my protector. It's just fascinating how the INFJ mind works - it's primal, survivalist. I love it. More about that story: his buddy has a violent temper when...|||Never threaten an INFJ's loved one. I saw him in a fight only once... jumped by 4 ex-wrestlers at a UFC party when he stood up for his buddy to the drunk-ass who owned the house. Picked up and...|||Intricate Mystic  Thank you! It was a very relieving conversation as I've been spending most of my day writing and responding to this thread. Tomorrow, we're going to see Evil Dead and then a...|||He never has to compete with him literally - the most it ever is when we're all together is a mutual friendship that feels quite normal and healthy to me. I don't have many friends, so it's always...|||Even if she did mean it, what does that change about you or the situation? Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do but throw her in the trash heap and move on. She is in total control of whether or...|||You better believe it's making things tough. We talked for a long time about it before he moved in at the end of July. Neither of us have ever lived with anyone other than each other after moving out...|||He's been taking a lot of angry naps recently :laughing:   Yes, it's clearly a sore spot for him. The trouble is I do feel strongly, and in his best interest, though I can't do anything without...|||TimeIsLove He went to counseling as a child for numerous psychological issues. Either he doesn't remember much or he may be purposefully not telling me. I don't probe too much into early childhood...|||People are going to say shitty things to you as long as they think they know better than you. It's petty and insensitive to say the least but you MUST know that your mom and this girl likely had no...|||I know how you feel about finding out you're INFP... Not only are you not dysfunctional, you're home to a unique mind and now that you have the arsenal of knowledge here, you can use it to navigate...|||I am bringing it up as soon as I have an opportunity. It affects his work life as well, and that's always been a problem for us financially.   I justify things too much by using myself as a...|||emerald sea Yes, the smoking thing is definitely a factor, but it can't be the whole picture. He's tried (and temporarily successfully) quit smoking several times and he always has a short fuse for...|||Another person with poor memory, or shall I say, selective.  I don't remember anything my mom tells me. She is my intellectual antithesis and I could really care less about what detail-oriented,...|||OldManRivers Thank you for your concern, though that doesn't describe the situation here. He's never outwardly acted violent towards me or anything else - he doesn't break shit, he doesn't lay a...|||I wish I knew what could give those things to him. I seemed to hope a new place to live and more like-minded friends (we're very much fish out of water here) would take his mind away from the...|||Maeve   Check out the INFJ forum - they have the same trouble you do moving past the acquaintance stage to a level of trust most people would describe as a friendship.   Do you have a strong fear...|||thomasfullerjr Thanks so much for the advice. It's true that many times when he gets angry he feels very emotionally vulnerable afterwards. He told me last night that he just loves me so much, it...|||AdrianVanNyiha But that's such a volatile process to go through. Understandable for some situations, but getting angry like that during conversation?  How often do you feel this way? Is there a...|||It's a fine line between the allowance of imperfection in someone you love, and being a doormat to someone who doesn't love you enough. I think it's a different story with every person and situation....|||Anyone have any experience overcoming their own anger problems or those of an INFJ you know? I'm talking about immediate, relatively unprovoked anger that is so strong a feeling you can't disguise...|||INFP: Cannabis several times daily, including before work. 4 days out of the week I'm at home alone doing housework and whatever random creative thing I can think of. I'm also working at...|||[/LIST]  I had avoidant personality disorder as a teenager. I also didn't have my own computer (dating myself here a bit) so I didn't have the access to the kind of information here on PerC and...|||moonlight_echo I've spent so much time recently thinking about the few friendships I have that have strung along with me from one life to the next - I've hade so many jobs and been to different...|||Thank you so much for your post, that really puts into words what's going on in my co-dependent marriage... we've worked and lived together for all of our adult lives and for a number of reasons we...|||I have no true friends other than my husband. I live dangerously on the edge of total isolation and seclusion within my own mind. Easy for me to fall into my own self-indulgent obscurity.   People...|||INFJ hubby can say such profound things with so little words. It's incredible, really fascinating to me because I've learned to listen to the meaning rather than look at what's superficial. He's...|||I just know from my own experience - INFJ's are more than worthy friends and lovers because they are 100% trustworthy and can be your rock in the real world while being willing and able to go all the...|||I'm afraid I'm exactly the opposite - I let relationships languish if I don't see a person face to face very often. I've been known to lose my phone for a few days or even weeks and hardly realize or...|||I agree for more than one reason.   I can't cause confrontation, no matter how angry or upset I am. I avoid it, and the best way to do that is to sever any chance of creating it.  I will let...|||I wouldn't consider my procrastination fixed, just that I refuse to do anything that doesn't apply to what is my most important goal at the time. Sold my TV. Sold my Xbox. Stopped buying canvases...|||The INFJ I'm married to gets mistaken for an extrovert all the time. He says controversial things to get people shaken up, see their reaction. He loves to screw with their minds too, especially the...|||It's the tendency to base our ideas and conclusions about the world around a feeling we attach to it. Like you said, if it isn't logical (which it can be) then it isn't valid to them. We're also...|||That's true, but there's no necessity for outside aid to do these things.  In my region, a college degree of any kind can usually get you a job with a corporate chain in sales. They want to train...|||We might respect others for their honesty in their actions and emotions, or their giving natures - something intuitive.  Others value and respect those who stick to their guns, make themselves...|||I have to agree with this, though I understand just as much how college isn't a wise investment for everyone! In my experience, people are going back to college in droves for the tax breaks. College...|||When I first read the thread title I thought of why I believe people don't respect me, but you showed me a totally different perspective on that!   Well, I have an unusual way of looking at the...|||Kids keep proving to us that they are capable of the same things we are, just on a different scale. I hope more people pay attention to that!!|||questforself   Now you know what job security and money feels like. You have to know what's on the other side sometimes to be sure you're making good choices in another direction. I would have done...|||Excellent! Well said.|||You got it! I'm at work right now :laughing: if I have a good book, a sketch pad, or especially the internet to start the questions that's all I need. You never know what truth you might find... ...|||I believe you're right about this. You've been stunted in a way from fulfilling your potential because you didn't spend the energy you had to learn and grow within your personality, you spent it on...|||Oh yes, this sounds very familiar to me. I woke up this morning thinking about my friends I grew up with and where there lives are now. I mostly had Asian friends, my closest friend being Vietnamese....'