'You know that side of you that's charming and very well-liked but it's not quite who you are? And you know that side of you that's very deeply who you are, and when revealed makes you shy and...|||I'll try and explain in a way which will hopefully make sense.  An ISTJs default way of being is often perceived as 'rejection' by an ENFP. For example, ISTJ is fixing a fence. ISTJ is...|||Ok I have to drag this thread back up again just to write my happy conclusion :)  Everything was fine, we were friends again, ...but I just needed to hear You're a good friend from him... ended...|||Hihi thanks, nice post :-)|||Oh man, this: Have you ever loved so much it hurt inside Well, that's the only way my love can be described - is rare, and I've only felt this for a very small handful of people (all of whom have...|||That's funny! :D  For me it's like If I don't say anything, one can normally assume that either I'm trying really hard to not say anything, or things aren't fine, or I don't really care about you so...|||It sounds to me like you have a grudge against a particular ENFP who's somehow hurt you in the past and you're taking it out on all of us!  Firstly, if I ever told someone that I love them and...|||Oh and to answer you guys about the emails - yeah, they were  long-winded, about nothing, and 'just for a chat'. So they thoroughly  wound him up. Which, deep down, I think was what I was actually...|||Thank you very much guys, you're extremely helpful :-)  That's interesting that it feels like the obligatory Xmas present thing, I can relate to that so that makes it much easier for me to...|||Oi, that's not a helpful answer :-)   This is Exactly my problem - I need a simple way of explaining the above to an ISTJ in a way that won't make his head hurt. Maybe there is no such way...|||I was expecting that kind of a reply hehe, but yeah with close friends (which he is), I do. I don't need it all the time, even once in a lifetime would do!!!, just to occasionally to say to someone...|||Haha yeah ISTJs can be brutal. I don't think they have a clue. I've recently met a colleague who's an ISTJ and when he has supervisor shifts everybody's terrified of him. I told him so, jokingly, and...|||Hi ISTJs,   Haven't been on this forum in a while.. so first of all 'hi':)   Secondly, I'd like to ask for some advice on how to phrase something in a way that would make sense to an ISTJ.   I...|||Or, sometimes you guys need to remember that we don't know the things you don't tell us :). As an example, lets say you have an absolute ton of work to get through and we ask you for help with...|||Oh it'd be dreadful :D I really can't even begin to imagine how awful it'd be.... I think the same applies to any world where there would be just one type... we need variety!!! Anyway ENFPs thrive...|||Thanks for your replies :) I know I post a lot of questions on your forum and I'm sorry if they come out as repetitive or anything..  It's 'cos all my important relationships in my life have been...|||I just find it hard to understand why it wouldn't cross someone's mind.. it's like.. at the forefront of my mind to constantly automatically say things to people like It's so nice to see you/I had a...|||Question in the title... maybe I'm asking the obvious but I'm just wondering why you don't think to do it/why it's so difficult?  :)|||Yep - 3, plus 1 cup of tea.. I'm definitely back to normal lol.|||Well.. it never rains but it pours..I ran into him today and it turned out to be a good thing because we established that we're both sorry, that don't want to argue and we don't want to hate each...|||I completely take responsibility for what I did and if I ever felt hurt as a result then I accept that, I never considered myself a victim in this situation. If anyone's interested in the reason it...|||Thank you niss, very true.   Today for the first time in a few months I spent a day with friends where this guy who I had a fling with was also present. So much built up tension and resentment.. I...|||It's fine don't worry, I wouldn't feel judged even if you wrote You're a horrible person... I've spent enough time thinking all this stuff through and trying to come to terms with it.. of course we...|||Of course I know when I've crossed a line, but it's because from the minute I met the person the line was crossed. I'll admit I once had an affair with a guy who was with someone else. From the...|||I agree that my example was a bit rubbish but I really like @fiveberries example. I the thing is that sometimes you don't actually realize you have an emotional connection with someone until it's...|||niss and Dizzle  :  thanks, good replies :)|||What if you're perfectly happy, content, you love your partner, you wouldn't exchange him/her for anything and you know you want to spend your life together. But one day you lock eyes with someone...|||Thanks guys :)  Please don't think I'm desperate for immediate replies - I do understand that some people are always on their phones and some aren't and it's simply that when I get little or no...|||Yeah, regarding the post about ENFPs mellowing with age, that's definitely true, but for me personally it's taken quite some effort on my part to be less smothering (and I'm not sure I'm quite there...|||I'm not obliging you to read it ;o)|||It's funny - I used to think I was really good at understanding ISTJs thanks to Myers Briggs, and recently I've discovered that it's often not really the case. However, to think he must be about 10x...|||Now I understand why, when my ISTJ friend told me he didn't have time for a discussion once (he'd annoyed me with something and I wanted to talk about it), I got really angry, told him that if he...|||Thanks :-) See that was the kind of translation I needed hehe :)  That's so weird for me tho.. trying to interpret an ISTJ's behaviour is like sticking a needle through my own toe :-D|||This is funny, because my colleagues and class-mates, and even some quite close friends, have often said to me that I seem to be the most rational self-sufficient confident person they know. I'm...|||Friendships should end based on certainty, not on doubt. When a rocky period occurs, you might doubt. That's normal. But that's not enough of a good reason to end a friendship. However, once you're...|||Thank you! :-)  Just one comment... the fact that I'm constantly texting you means that I'm already feeling exactly the way you feel when I text you too much: threatened, drained and frustrated.  I...|||Well, if you're interested, his response to If I didn't happen to really care about you as a friend I wouldn't have bothered to bring all this up or to try and explain what was going on in my head...|||Sorry, I don't think I was being very clear :) It's not that I need him to constantly say xyz to me, all I wanted was to know whether he actually considers me as a friend worth having or not so much,...|||Yeah, that's kind of what I did, except that I think that now he's kind of feeling like I'm accusing him that it's somehow his fault..which I wasn't...I just sent him this (please don't tell me it...|||I was afraid someone would say that :D So the only way I can explain this to him is The way you feel right now, like, bewildered and confused and fed up with me, is the way I was feeling with you...|||Ok, that's great! I'll stop all texts like We're at the pub if you fancy joining us and turn them into questions. I've noticed that he doesn't really respond to statements, so that's a really...|||I know, I'll phrase it like this:   Is there anything (not Myers Briggs related) that makes you confused, frustrated, fed up and bewildered?|||Thanks to everyone who've replied.. I can't thank some people on here for some reason.   Thanks for the last post Hobbes, you sound like my friend lol. (as in it could be him writing that).|||To answer the first questioner: he replied to texts that had a question mark on the end of them, like Do you want to join us at the pub?, but not to texts that didn't, like We're at the pub if you...|||How can I explain to someone who's an ISTJ (I am 110% sure of that) (and who has never heard of Myers Briggs, and whom I can't explain Myers Briggs to) why I need to hear things in order to know...|||But don't you mind the fact that if you don't reply when someone you care about needs emotional reassurance, you're making them feel drained, frustrated and rejected? And that if this repeats itself...|||I've never had such intense and bewildering relationships with anyone like I have with ISTJs... these relationships can be so beautiful and the communicating difficulties can really make you feel...|||Thanks a lot for all your replies.   I think this thing has taught me how intense and crazy hormons and attraction can make you feel and how many stupid things it can make you do.  I think that...|||Decided to post about this on here to see what responses I might get..   I've had feelings for an ISTJ guy for a year. We work together. He's in a serious relationship and has a family. Apparently...|||Of all the personality types, you guys seem to be the most bothered by people who are fake, complicated, putting on an act, talking nonsense, over-analyzing.  And you seem to be the most attracted...'