Please check out this site. It will absolutely change how you feel about yourselves as (boring) INFJs. We are, apparently, anything but!  www.stellarmaze.com|||It's the pretense of ESFJs caring about you that hurts, when they're really only doing it because of how safe and secure with themselves you make them feel. When you stop doing that is when they...|||People threatened by authenticity tend not to like me very much. Often loud people, who drown out the ones I realize do appreciate me...It's a weird balance.|||Which author do you prefer and why?|||Yah. If it comes with advice on how to be cool like y'all.|||Does that mean you could take us or leave us?|||Okay, I'll admit it. I made this thread specifically so that Docta_Phreak could make another brutally honest pros and cons list, but for INFJs. Pretty please? :)  Others are welcome to comment,...|||They arrreee. Aaaggghhhh. He's everything you describe (the voice especially, goddamn). Tastefully sexy, witty, very fit, creative. Mm. But above all he's kind, to everyone. That's my weakness I...|||Lovely Ethanol, iamken. But but but but...how long does it take for an ENFJ to take the bait? I am absolutely sure he knows how I feel. Some days I feel like he already assumes we're together — it's...|||Right now I'm dealing with an older ENFJ who seems to be feeling and doing these exact things. I don't know. All I know is I want him, and I am not one to even think about pursuing men I don't know...|||I'm going through something similar. Advice anyone?|||Does your social life contract when you're in a relationship? Especially if your partner happens to be introverted? Did you know this would happen before you got involved if so? And do you resent him...|||Why is that? I do get this sense. Thought I was paranoid. What is it about INFJ that rubs people wrong in the workplace?|||Sometimes, though, it feels like I have enough Fe to worry about others and be somewhat selfless, but not enough of it to draw people to me and have the social support systems that dominant Fe users...|||He may check all the boxes for you on paper but what has he actually DONE to earn your affections? Texting you a lot requires no effort and may just be a control tactic. Trust me, there are people...|||Not to reinforce stereotypes as well but... the only explanation I would have for why ENFJs would be good at self-regulating: They really do seem to put understanding others and making them feel...|||Mmhm, I think that's what he had in mind. I'm just an intern, anyway. I have been looking, but...  The thing is a job just opened up at the organization we work for -- and I was offered it....|||What are your general feelings on dating someone you work with? :( What if you thought it was really love?  Would it make you uncomfortable to work with people you knew were schtupping? And if you...|||Well then, there's your problem.  I find that even though ENTPs say they like a challenge, that tends not to be true in the realm of actual relationships. There can be a huge reticence on the part...|||Do you overcompensate for your love for people by being an ass sometimes?|||Scarlet.Black I guess it's more the intensity of feelings being expressed coupled with this person's desire to leave things open that makes me question his being an FJ. Ambiguity like that would make...|||KC Hm. I think the more you can be a steady, reassuring presence in his life, the better. Love tends to empower ENFJs from what I've seen, but at the same time, there's only so much you can do. At...|||Was he joking about leaving you on the spot? That is mean...  When he says you wouldn't like him if not for his achievements, it sounds like some sort of alternate reality is setting in for him at...|||He sounds more like an NP to me. Either ENFP or ENTP. Intuitive in that he could go probably go without seeing you for awhile and still keep you in his mind - to the extent that he wants to, and...|||Yeah. Bit of both? Sometimes I wish I knew what it was like to be Ne-dominant. I might have more sympathy for the constant FOMO.  Basically, he wanted something open and I made it clear that's not...|||Visionce Hm. Well, since the ex drove me to learn about attachment styles, I think I'd be more focused on that. I'm glad I'm now able to recognize the signs of someone who just wants nothing to do...|||Sweetdreamin Honestly, what do I know. I was so lax with my ex that he spent two years jerking me around despite my weak pleas for him to commit. It ended up being an ENTJ he finally got serious...|||Visionce Eh, it's not much worth getting into. I don't think he's very healthy and most likely has an avoidant attachment style. I'm worried about him but still angry. There was so much deception on...|||So I tried to be civil about it and remain symbolic friends on FB, but he started getting super passive-aggressive on it and I had to delete him. He's been trying to reach out ever since but I...|||Sorry to have to ask, but how would you prefer to be broken up with? And how would you like the relationship to play out afterwards, in an ideal world?|||Sweetdreamin To me it is just like, so long as my own path in life is not being disrupted, and the experience of meeting and getting to know the other person has thus far only been positive, I will...|||KC Yes. As an introvert and Enneagram social-last, I naturally underestimate the extent to which other people and communities can shape an individual for the long term, and the value of such....|||Mmhm. I suppose I'm zeroing in on that connotation, thinking (hoping!) his plans include keeping me at home and saving on tuition - where we live it makes sense - while he finds ways to arrange crazy...|||Dropping hints about homeschooling your future children before you've even had your first date. Is this something you're prone to doing, e.g.?   Not just thinking it. Actually mentioning it. Yeah....|||As horrible as it feels to be neglected, or to endure abuse, reflecting on said experiences has helped me recognize and really cherish the good eggs in my life. Given my rather loner-esque nature, I...|||Don't gooooooo :(|||KC Thank you for being honest. I hear you. I realize there is a lot of nuance to relationships, and the fact that you as ENFJs have so many, and you are not robots, makes it plausible that you'd have...|||Eggsies I clearly should have watched the above before posting. :)|||ENFJs, you guys seem pretty good at drawing the line between friends and romantic interests, without it even being within your control. You simply have different physiological reactions to people...|||I wonder if Ni's compulsive pattern-finding has a way of manifesting itself physically. As if others could see the gears turning without us even knowing it. We could be very transparent about the...|||What I'm realizing is that a lot of people probably have a subconscious need for others to be easy to read in order to feel safe and comfortable. The more WYSIWYG you are, the more trustworthy? That...|||Yes. My Fe is worthless when it counts. Job interviews for instance. I think bc the people interviewing me have mostly been Ts. No use getting them to like me.|||I read this today. The blurb about INFJs, it felt true. So much that it made me uncomfortable. Only because I DO feel like I have an agenda in most situations. But it's usually, ultimately a good...|||There are very few people I genuinely love. But when I love, I love hard and almost completely ignore the others. That is, if they don't need something from me. This makes me feel deficient...|||KC Hahahahahah!!! Oh nooooooooo ::dies::|||Your crush adds you on FB. Do you freak, ENFJs?|||It sounds like she has something personal against you, frankly. When you asked for an explanation as to why you couldn't be trained, and she cited complaints from other co-workers? Smells like BS to...|||Eggsies I don't know. Just ever since this person has taken notice of me, I've been in disbelief. Wondering if I should try harder and make an effort to be gregarious or at least do something...|||Apparently ENFJ (males) like shy people. Does this mean you're drawn to quiet, bookish, plain jane, no makeup wearing girls that most guys tend to ignore?  If so, what's that about?|||Yeah, and lower my own standards for myself maybe. I don't always have to blow people out of the water with my presence but still, if I don't put in that effort, I end up feeling invisible. Anyway,...