'Wow! This is almost exactly how my INTJ acted around me. He had strong feelings which I kinda sensed but only because I'm naturally an empath. Outwardly he was very impassive. Then all of a sudden...|||It could come from a boss, lover, spouse, friend or family member. But if the criticism were true, what would hurt you the most?|||You're right: I'm not describing an INTJ. I'm describing an asshole. He told you he's unable to date you then turned his dating profile back on...  You want people to tell you he's deeply committed...|||Let's say you apply for a job at a company. You might even do an interview. Afterwards they tell you they're not going to hire anyone because it's not in their budget. The next week you see that the...|||Had a quick look at your OP. You're not going to like what I have to say, but I'm a woman and I've been there before: He's not that into you. It sounds like you were doing most of the work in the...|||Acted immaturely and rashly because your feelings got too intense, which you never thought you'd do.|||... and was called on it, how would you feel about it after?|||I repeat... he was a happy camper when we left. We haven't been together long, and I was surprised he got touchy-feely so quickly, even hand-holding on the second date. This is the only atypical...|||I am an INFJ with INTJ tendencies. I'm also a chick. Everything about this guy was textbook INTJ, so I'm trying to figure out what happened. I'm also venting.|||So my INTJ has not contacted me in a few weeks. I'm still trying to get over it (my F side wants to hold on). At the very least, he's a romantic: I lent him a book I thought he'd like. He said he'd...|||I'm in a cynical mood right now. Maybe he was being a guy and got scared off at emotional commitment.  ETA: I seem to waver between INTJ and INFJ.|||In my dry opinion, making sense and emotions don't usually mix for an INTJ :)|||Can I PM you later?|||He told me I wasn't the one.|||He was a happy camper when we parted that night.   Yeah, he is still worth pursuing IMHO. He seemed to have the positive INTJ relationship traits -- loyal, committed|||I have been seeing an INTJ. I don't think he has been in a serious relationship but we were getting along quite well. Then things got a tad, um, horizontal. He initiated it and was happy he did. Then...|||Yeah, when it comes to dating, I'm an INFJ -- I used to be more confident until I saw things fall apart. This is why if I a guy doesn't get back to me, I start to wonder if he's really interested. My...|||Thanks for your post! It's encouraging except I don't understand this last part. Could you clarify a bit? BTW he's actually pretty comfortable with me, except when it comes to conventional date...|||I posted this in the INTJ, but INFJs might be more helfpul. I'm a borderline INTJ/INFJ. I just met someone who appears to be textbook INTJ. It's like dating someone from the Big Bang Theory. I read...|||Well, if ignored that one sentence from my posting... what's the best line of strategy?|||I'm a borderline INTJ/INFJ. I just met someone who appears to be textbook INTJ. It's like dating someone from the Big Bang Theory. I read that INTJ men take their time before deciding they want to be...|||Yeah, I suppose you are right. He does have real issues. Normally I'm good at sensing them right off the bat. I can honestly say I didn't see this coming. It was such a disappointment. I should turn...|||It wasn't totally out of nowhere. I knew he was avoiding me. I knew if he wanted to continue, he would have made an effort to see me. But I can't say I expected him to tell me he didn't want me in...|||No, no, no. He made it clear at the time that he would be better off without me.|||INTJs can be romantic. But we will decide on the course of romance in a logical way :)|||Why am I hanging on? Why do I hold out for hope? Because we were incredibly comfortable together. Meeting him was like walking into a big hug. If you've seen the movie Tangled, you know the...|||Why do INFJs have trouble with communicating their emotions? I thought INFJs were all about emotion and finding true love.|||He told me he didn't want me in his life and walked out on me in the middle of a date.|||[QUOTE=Female INFJ;1093840]Yes, simple advice, not so simple to do IRL, because if he is an INFJ he'll know how to turn on the schmooze factor and have a girl forgetting where your encounter started...|||First off, he is definitely INFJ. I've read through different threads and the traits describe him to a T. He's sweet, romantic, thoughtful, helps those in need... and carries resentment. As for...|||Hmmm. So the consensus seems to be don't put my hopes on it. Oh well. It's a shame since we got along really well for the time we knew each other. It was joyous. I'm an INTJ, but this kind of...|||Several months ago, I was seeing an INFJ and he doorslammed me from past hurts, and (from what I hear) later regretted it. He didn't try to make peace, however. He then left for a contract job in...|||One huge problem I've had as an INTJ female is that I've met very few men who could take care of me as well or better than I can take care of myself. It took me a while to figure that one out. I've...|||There is one woman who is bound to be condescending. She isn't mean, just very, very conventional. She's been like that ever since high school. She'd make an excellent purse-toting Mormon. As my...|||They weren't arrogant as a whole. But they were kinda smug. Like, You're not a doctor? I'm so sorry. Plus there were one or two people I wish I hadn't talked to. It's funny, I was always taught...|||Wow! I really thought people would jump in to tell me to rise above it, not be so sensitive about the pettiness. Yeah, the first time really sucked. I had been recently let go from a job and looking...|||Or else they're just a prick.  Edited to add: this girl was an only child who was insecure. She had to be number 1. When I knew her, she was fat and in love with an attractive boy who didn't notice...|||Whoops -- I edited to change it :)  Unfortunately I have to go. It's an important anniversary, and I want to be there for my friend. She herself doesn't care about these things. She asked to visit...|||I'm not INFJ, but I think this is a better place to write this. I will be going to a reception soon, where I'll be seeing old classmates from university. It's not a formal function; my friend is...|||Kay Scarpetta from the Patrician Cornwell novels.|||She's opinonated = J She's always strategizing = N She's got lots of theories = T She's independent = I  They are INTJs who mistake each other in the beginning.|||IMO Elizabeth Bennett of Pride and Prejudice is an INTJ|||I don't sleep around and INFJs need to have connection before sex, but lots of people are able to sleep with someone without dwelling on it afterwards. It has no more meaning than having dinner...|||To find someone, for the first time in my life I've been actually going out with the intention of meeting lots of eligible men. I'm not in my 20s, so meeting single men is  a lot harder than it used...|||How about this kind of shallow... are you able to say to someone, How was your weekend? without caring about the answer. Or sleep with someone and not talk to them or think about them afterwards.|||I guess I wasn't precise enough in my question. It's all about being shallow -- or faking it, perhaps to fit in. Are you good at it?|||Just curious.For all this talk of INFJ's depth, is there ever a time when you successfully sound or act shallow, especially when it comes to other people? I'm not talking about being catty or...|||If this man could be a true friend, think of it this way: friends accept and understand you, even when you don't understand yourself. There's no reason to be nervous.|||Hugs, especially greeting hugs from people who aren't in my close circle of friends. Damn it's awkward I hate it. In a relationship, I am very affectionate but I don't know you...|||Curious... Why are INFJ are called the protectors?'