'rowing, i know he does think a lot - you're right! but he doesn't trust his own thinking, and i also think he gets kind of overwhelmed by his thinking sometimes, so he purposely turns it off.  ...|||i almost get the sense that hes having a battle between his heart and his head. he's also not strongly F and even though he says he doesn't think about things too much he does seem to be influenced...|||hey...:)  (sorry to be scarce...tried to sneak in when i got a few spare moments, but no time until now to respond...both my lovelies are out for a while)    amanda, i'm glad to hear you say...|||p.s. in the future, i would vote for ask first! :))|||so....here's my update, the ending of which shows christine squarely in the friend zone....  apologies in advance for this being choppy...i'm copying from an email and trying to edit out the...|||haha! good point lol|||haha! no, he's got a daughter the same age as my niece. and he's early 30's and i'm *a good bit older* ;)   culturally we're very close as far as mindset, i think.     that's a good point, ava....|||he lives with family who are out of town, so he & my niece as staying at my house as a necessity. that's why i'm trying to be respectful of his space and not put him on the spot in case i'm...|||haha i wish i had more to report right now, but it's still going slowly but surely in the right direction. i'm glad i didn't go in for the unexpected kiss cuz yesterday we were out walking and i...|||thinking about this compared to amanda saying she was an open book....  i think because both INTPs and INFPs are so cautious about letting on when they like someone, they either hide their...|||kaycee, i had this same issue! as a T (or is that N?) i run ideas through my head and i ask are you thinking this? or is this waht happened? and he says i'm THINKING those things about him. i...|||dang, amanda - you even got me captivated now! lol    this is amazingly adorable!!     yes, we won't think about the possibility of a mistake (easier said than done!) i was so sure last...|||i'm finding INFPs to be a bit high-maint (i bet no one ever thought THAT before, eh? lol) and i don't mind with mine because i want things to work. i'm willing to set my ego aside for THIS person,...|||amanda, you're such a doll - i love you!  i went and started a new thread asking exactly that...i added some personal stuff just now about the situation...  i HOPE he would think it was hot...he...|||hahaha! this made me laugh - thanks :D    ack! what's an INFP escape route?    i like the idea of not over committing - that's a little of what i'm afraid of|||i saw this before i went to bed and was thinking about it...  alaska's comment is a clue that you (speaking broadly from the feedback in this thread) know what you're doing while it is happening....|||lol, thanks! haha!  you all are very encouraging, which is GREAT cuz i'm also one of those shy people who write every clue off as 'wishful thinking'.   yikes - i might need the escape route (and...|||okay, so you like a girl, you think she likes you, but you're playing that mmm...maybe i'm wrong...maybe she just likes me as a friend, so i don't want to blow this game, and you're wishing SHE...|||what's that saying? from your mouth to god's ears :))|||haha me either...but let's not forget who we're dealing with here...don't hold your breath LOL!!|||thanks - for all that - and i will def post DETAILS...it's the least i could do considering i'd probably long given up by now if it weren't for you and all the other help i've gotten :))     ...|||sorry to quote myself, but i felt the need to give a status update, as it's put me on cloud 9 :)  after sending my reply to say that i didn't mean to neglect him and i was trying to get my work...|||precisely 3 hrs and 15 minutes....  ...the amount of time it took for him to send me the are you ignoring me? email :shocked:  i held out another half hour before sending a reply that will...|||hehe not in those exact words, silly, but the bits and pieces of his words + actions amounted to that :)  btw, i got a longass email (that included TWO apologies for slacking on email) but i'm...|||lol - i just was looking around my fb page and found he'd sent me some new flair in the middle of the night! stand back....don't take my air!! oh, but not too far...here's some flair to let you know...|||lol!  ugh...too late, i caved! but i ONLY sent one line, and it was about something totally impersonal. so he'll be all happy thinking he got an email but it will be pretty close to nothing.   ...|||hi ignite! yes, nice to know...i've found similar threads and they're very enlightening (not to mention educational!) and i have to say now that i've found some help here, i don't think i'd change...|||not sure i'm ready to face both possible outcomes at this point, but i totally agree!  you're a doll, amada - thanks :)|||god, i do the same thing (think i'm being SO obvious, but it's really so subtle and you almost need a decoder to see it)  but amanda, you're such a smart girl - i was thinking of backing off a bit...|||oh, amanda, it IS such exquisite torture!! why do i subject myself to it? i guess because the little rewards are so delicious, right?!  i feel a little guilty about this, but i emailed him about a...|||generalAnders, if you haven't already noticed, this forum is VERY educational, esp for those in our position :)    i never realized that, which is odd considering i'm on the fence with t/f...|||i say i'm fine too, but that's JUST A TEST to see if the person asking REALLY, REALLY, REEEEEEALLY wants to help me. then if they prove that they do (by not believing that i'm fine)  i'll lay it all...|||and your quest to understand says to me that you definitely sound INTP, lol   i'm just messin with aero :wink:    i like being in the middle. i read the frustrations of both Ts and Fs (from...|||yes! it's like, we don't have an over-abundance of them to begin with, so we're careful about who we share them with. they're too precious to waste on just any-old-one!|||hi luis!  i agree you might be borderline T/F - i am almost 50/50 leaning towards T.   you're definitely in the ball park, just from the way you described yourself and the way you presented your...|||this is really valuable info that i'm sure i will put to good use - thanks!!    aero, i'm so glad you did write all that! it makes so much sense - it's almost like the person is thinking if they...|||i love romance. i love the idea of inside jokes, and knowing you're missed when you're not around - knowing the person was thinking about me and wondering about me; i don't know...i never missed it...|||so not fair for those of us who are insecure and fear that people secretly have feelings they don't share with us. i would interpret that as their real feeilngs coming out, and would desperately...|||i hadn't heard of this, but i feel it's true in my case. my stepmom kept after me to go out more and meet someone i was like, why? and really didn't care to share my space.  now that i've got...|||that's funny to me because i saved my chat log too! and re-read it looking for clues LOL. of course, without the timing/pacing you see in real-time, you lose a lot of important info. it all looks...|||wow. i just fell in love with myself  lol|||they're supposed to have a point???  ooohhhh!!! :laughing:|||haha! like those pre-printed grocery lists where you check off what you need!  i hate when people ask me stuff. unless it's a person i've let into my closest, closest space. then i want to tell...|||wow, this thread is so random and hilarious to me for some reason! i guess i'm the oddball because my family is pretty kissy - we kiss on the lips when arriving and leaving. hugs are optional, but...|||omg this reads like an SNL skit of my brain!!   (esp the bad storyteller part - my family is always riding me about that, and then i become self-conscious which only makes it worse)  thanks for...|||not sure how much of this ties into my whole personality, but qualities i think i bring to a relationship are persistence and perceptiveness. once committed, i use those to gain understanding to...|||natalieAnne, it is funny, isn't it, how it seems to us (Ts) that everything will be alright if we can just figure it out!    mogey, me too! i'm not sure i've spent any 'real' time in the INTP...|||oh, no!!! that was perfect just how you originally said it, because otherwise you would have ruined the surprise! nicely played!!  ;)  :)) thank you!|||this is such good advice...i've gotten to a point where i can disengage and look at my own failings from a distance where they're not so threatening. i forget others are not so enthusiastic about...|||amanda, you're so right - i can totally see that now. i sent an apology and hope it's not overkill or sounding clingy. i made it a little light, but sincere, and didn't ask for anything in return. so...'