'he expects things from me that he doesn't naturally think to do for me, or he does halfheartedly for me just to get it over with and more out of obligation.|||Another example would be: when he is sick he needs me to care for him and I do it without a second thought. When I am sick it's as if there is a checklist in his head that he needs to get over with...|||Thanks, more of the solipsistic variety. Did you read the example I gave above your comment? Should I tell of more instances?|||It seems a lie will not physically work it's way from my mouth. I have difficulty even verbalizing a seemingly inconsequential white lie. Even if I tried my mannerisms and my face would betray me, my...|||I think what I was trying to express is it strikes me just how easily he takes himself into account in most situations without doing the same for others. It seems that anything that happens, even if...|||It was sort of meant to be funny, I'm glad you didn't take it too seriously. :)|||I am an INFP and not at all like your INFP sister as a driver. I am extremely aware when I am driving, a bit impatient with people who are not with it and I guess a bit aggressive as in, I am...|||I have taken the MBTI a few times now. Originally, a little over 10 years ago, my result was INTJ, then the two times I had taken it afterwards it was INFP and now it is back to INTJ. When I read...|||I have it pretty much figured out that he is a TJ. I am leaning towards S as opposed to N. Are STJ's known for being particularly less understanding and compassionate?|||This is really interesting: I am a P and I have NEVER had a dream about taking tests. However, three J's that I know have all told me about test taking dreams just exactly as you described with the...|||In your opinion which type is most likely to be selfish? I am trying to figure out which type my boyfriend is.|||Didn't say exercise would cure ADD. I said that if he reads up about it he may find out information a doctor may not give him which he can use to help himself. How long of a period of time did you...|||@Holgrave i have been suicidal. i am not saying you shouldn't take any medictaion at all or for some time, i am saying that you should look to treat the core problem. it is possible that you may not...|||talk therapy can help dealing with childhood trauma.  and there are many good books written by professionals, you don't have to use the internet as a source.|||@Acey just to let you know, I have been dealing with depression for 8 years. It is something i treat daily with the decisions i make. I have never taken medication, i was always adament about that....|||@Acey i recommend doing lots of research. read up on adhd. apparently it is believed to be rooted in genetic factors BUT there are things you can do to help your brain chemicals. for example:  5HTP...|||i don't find that to be a good point. too many people take medication instead of figuring the root cause of why they have this condition and fixing that instead. do you want to be dependent on...|||@ginganinja i wanted to express that i (an infp) didn't take offense to your initial post; didn't find it particularily insulting & don't see why you would be banned or sensored. I think, as with any...|||the more i read about it, the more obvious. Some would retain the stricter, narrower dictionary definition of codependency, which requires one person to be physically or psychologically addicted,...|||@pinkrasputin i guess co-dependency sounds right. we are both hyper-vigilant about what the other is feeling as a way to protect ourselves from getting hurt, we are dependent on the relationship and...|||^^^ thank you everyone for your advice, truly. i am going to stop polluting this message board with this thread. he and i both have issues and we should probably see a counselor together. which may...|||sigh. i know confirmation bias. yes. . .. co-dependent relationship yes i am pretty sure we have it. ... i give up.|||i don't know, i've been thinking and that comment by niss that i think sela emphasized, about where was his apology to me, made me think back to when it happened (it was late feb) and the week and a...|||DaisyChain !!! wow that's eerily similiar. and what a terrible response she gave.|||i think (hope) i understand what you mean. i am very destructive. i need to start over often, to start clean, fresh. consistently, the urge to end things, or ruin things becomes strong and i desire...|||Trinidad i wouldn' t say i spent the months obsessing over it,  it was just there and at times i would remember and it would bring me down.  Its not that i necessarily trust her more its that i was...|||niss i think you are spot on.  Thank you all for your help.|||WhereAreMyKeys i am the same way. are you type 2 enneagram?|||@WindowLicker my istj boyfriend does that too- expects answers immediately.|||@Out0fAmmo apologies. communicated disorganized train of thought; was more concerned with expressing the ideas quickly as they came to me rather than actually presenting them in any comprehensible...|||niss what are the red flags? are there any more that you see that i should be aware of? i see: 1)drinking problem due to his anxiety disorder and his inability to say no to when feeling pressured to...|||n.yumikim i completely see your point. and under different circumstances i would not felt weird about it. it's more that he sent her a private message telling her that, while texting me at the same...|||@pinkrasputin you are right. well she told me not to get upset about it because he loves me, she said everyone can see that. her words exactly were he is head over heels in love with you. she for me...|||yeah thing is also, before this incident, i never had any reason to think anything weird. they knew each  other before i came along, i never felt any chemistry or interest in each other on either...|||@626Stitch you are right. i really do see how my overly high standards and expectations possibly contribute to his anxieties. it's just that when i love someone i give them everything, i am their...|||sounds about right. esp. since i do believe he has shown that he is making effort not  to put himself in a situation where he drinks a lot anymore. he was so depressed the about the last time he did...|||As an INFP i feel a lot from my environment... was curious how you all perceive each other. for instance, are there certain members who, from their posts and opinions, you perceive a certain...|||i am still not sure if i should bring it up at this point or not. i think i have a bigger problem with admitting what i did b/c if say, she had just told me what happened and all i had to do was...|||i completely agree. in my opinion it is really unnacceptable to do something like that. as is it unnacceptable to me that i read his messages.|||the biggest thing for me is, i NEVER would have expected him to do something like that. he has been so loyal and committed to me and to making our relationship work and has put us first, has made  it...|||Geoffrey thank you for your thoughts and the links!|||@bengalcat  yeah, i don't think i am completely secure in the relationship, (one bc i have trust issues to begin with) but especially if i see things like that. part of the issue i think is he...|||i am really sorry, not to be rude, but the music and vocals did nothing for me, didn't touch me in any way (in fact there were times where the vocalist became unbearable) and the lyrics i found to be...|||eyenexepee  that was lovely. thank you. you eased some of that anxiety you mentioned me having..|||also, i don't want to make it a big deal if it's not. i know he was drunk, i know he wouldn't have actually done anything. i know it was just a message and it didn't ask for anything it was just...|||infpblog wow i wait for that day, i do everything i can to increase his confidence!!! i have done everything i can to make it clear to him that i am not leaving that i am in it for the long run, i...|||infpblog that's not true, we have had i think 4 or 5 fights in the year we have been together. i have been the one to start all of them and i am always so relieved afterwards because i feel we get so...|||also there are different stages of being drunk. i've seen him in many. there are stages where he is happy, easy going, lighthearted and enjoying himself. then there are the more dangerous stages...|||@Yardiff Bey well yes to some extent this is true, but just because you think something (yes, that girl is attractive, he was drunk she was there and he sent the message. i know on a daily basis that...|||@infpblog yes, very right. i am an EXTREMELY faithful, loyal, committed person. when i am in a relationship no other man exists to me, they are just people, even if i find one attractive i think...'