'Dear    leictreon and LupusRex, you guys ask really tough questions.  1. In life, all the good things are hard. But worthwhile. And, not so hard, if you take on some of the advice given here. Like...|||For the young people here (even those 30+), the reason for my strange reply is that I am struggling with my life now, when I am over 50+. At many levels, I can be considered successful - I have a...|||Yes, this thread is exactly what I'm talking about. Somehow, we lose track. At least I did. And I was so unhappy but consoling myself that I was doing the right things and that life is like that,...|||megmento, thank you for leading me to this thread: 30+ INFPs:Your Advice to Younger INFPs? Yes, this is exactly how I feel and what I mean. I've forgotten all this good advice growing up and just...|||I don't know what's going on between megmento and @GrandmasterYoda but hey, all good.  Did we grow up wrong? As I continue to struggle with my current position and role, I realise more and more...|||And I really like the idea of using your demons to fight the dragons. Really clever.|||But you'll be there by my side, won't you, my dear Meg?|||Thank you everyone. You have really challenged and inspired me. Truly, there's no such thing as bad feedback. I think somehow, along the way, growing up became soul destroying. And we were told that...|||Maybe life is a fairy tale after all  Reading the recent posts made me realize that maybe what I'm trying to say here is that life really is like the fairy tales we were told when we were children....|||It's always good to hear from you,  megmento. Yes, take time to enjoy yourself. Give yourself time to grow. There's no need to force it. It shouldn't be painful in that sense. It's not all about...|||Sure. I don't mean to stop you. We all have different roles and being who you are is more valuable than being 'successful'. I think I'm just talking about people like me, who gave up on our dreams....|||I think we do. It's just that, at some point, we began to see growing up as a bad thing. The consequence of that is that we stop wanting to grow up. When I saw that what is happening to me is that I...|||Do we have a problem with growing up?  The recent posts and responses to this thread made me wonder if we have a problem with the concept of growing up. As a child, I think we all saw growing up as...|||Yes, I think so. I wasn't very happy with my life for a long time. I was doing all the right adult things, being a good husband, working hard, being responsible and so on. Some time ago, I applied...|||I also felt that the words Growing Up made me feel like a child again. It made me feel that my future is full of wonderful possibilities.|||Ah, mea culpa. Yes, growing up is not a finite process but one that continues on in life. Did you ever, as a child, wanted to grow up and be a grownup? What we wanted then is what we should have...|||Yes, there's always something to learn from those who write in. I can't tell you how much being part of this has helped me in the last few weeks (has it been so short? I feel like I've grown so much).|||That's too bad, BrainontheWall. I think growing up is great. I want to be wiser, smarter and more capable than I was as a child. I think there's a quantum leap, particularly in terms of learning...|||Nooo way. If so, I never want to grow up. I think we need to not only keep the fun of being a child, but actually enjoy life even more, being able to enjoy things that were beyond us when we were...|||Whatever works for you, Arzazar. We don't subscribe to any particular path here. But thank you for the connection. Never heard of Pod'Lair until now.|||Yes. Sometimes, growing up is about knowing when grownups are not telling you the truth and not really helping you in your journey. Sadly, grownups todays are finding it harder and harder to help our...|||No apologies needed. Indeed, quite the opposite. I totally agree with you here. It's perhaps losing that cynicism of being 'grown up' that's the most important part of growing up that we still need...|||This is an interesting thought. Why does growing up mean losing the best of being a child? In some ways it may be actually about keeping our childish wonder and values. For many of us, growing up...|||Ya. I realized that as long as I thought I was 'grown up', I blamed other people, the system or the world, when things go wrong for me.|||Haha. Good one.|||Hey, hey, hey. Welcome back,  Artemicion. Good to hear from you again.  That's the funny bit. I thought being a leader needs a different kind of person. I thought I was alright as a person, and I...|||Yes, growing UP is often painful and hard. But there is great joy at the end of it. It sounds totally counterintuitive and even silly to lean towards that which is painful and this shouldn't be even...|||It's interesting that psychology has helped more people answer the question about the meaning of life than philosophy. In classical times, before there was psychology, philosophy played that role. I...|||This thread is the third in a series. I started off struggling with my INFP nature. I am easily hurt when interacting with people. I like to be on my own, with my own thoughts and contemplating the...|||I won't be closing down this thread, unless it too runs out of steam like the last one. I'm going to start another, though, and hope that you guys will follow me there. I'm going to call it Grow Up!...|||Thank you both,   white-knuckle and MrMiyagi . Yes, it's funny how the risky and difficult things in life are what take you forward. It's unfortunate that you had to go to the edge of the abyss to...|||Great advice. It's that easy and that difficult. Brene Brown puts it very well. We need to learn how to manage pain in order to experience joy. The experience of joy itself makes us vulnerable and is...|||Yes,  leictreon, it's hard to find the balance. The hardest bit is to be authentic. We need to be true to ourselves. But, as INFPs, I think we find this very difficult. As you said, we go from being...|||Yes,  tryingtodobetter, this could well be a good lesson for INFPs. We need to be clearer how we set our boundaries from the start. Most people are more comfortable and will prefer us to go from...|||Thank you,  tryingtodobetter, for introducing Brene Brown to me. I think I came across her name before but didn't take the time to read up her work. I just did, because of your post. I bought and am...|||Brene Brown, yes!!! AUTHENTiCiTY is a daily practice. Choosing authenticity means: cultivating the courage to be emotionally honest, to set boundaries, and to allow ourselves to be vulnerable;...|||Yup. And worth saying again.  (This is in response to Coldmist, whose quote I forgot to include)|||Haha. Ah, yes. That's why we have heroes. We need to be brave, I think that's a given. The question is what kind of bravery. There's the aggressive go out and kill'em type and there's the Mother...|||Somehow, @XPyr didn't format properly. Dunno why. Same thing happened with you   megmento a couple of weeks ago. I can't find his previous posts here either. That's why I thought you left us. Must be...|||Making Progress I've been thinking about this and I thought that there are a few readers of this thread who don't write in but follow my journey. Some have written to tell me that they share my...|||There's a problem there. When I move to a WE focus, I find that other people are short sighted and more bent on doing things their way than solving them. So, it's let them have their way or shove it...|||Yes.  Headdesk, you hit the nail right on the head. There are many situations where being a 'leader' is not much of an issue. You just do your job and that's that. Leading becomes more of an issue...|||Ya. It's easier because you have a willing student. They want to learn and they are open to new and different ways of thinking. Leading in a corporate environment, or as a manager, is very much...|||Welcome, @XYpr. Good to hear from you. As always, a great contribution. I particularly like this passage from your link:   So, it's not that we're so sensitive and that leadership is for uncaring...|||BlueChristmas06 gives such good advice that I am going to respond to them here, especially since so many of the readers seem to share my difficulties.   Totally. I so need to be able to speak up...|||Dear Meg, this is so INFP. I think we deflate ourselves to the point that we effectively sabotage ourselves. I can so totally get what you are saying. It sounds very much like my own experiences as...|||Welcome, megmento. I was going through my posts last week and you were nowhere to be found. I couldn't even do a search for you. It was rather odd. Maybe a bad day for the server. Welcome back. I...|||I get that quite a lot. Most of the time, I don't mind and I get a bit nervous when the spotlight is on me. But, then, on the other hand... I find that when people are heated up, they don't listen....|||Haha. This is a very good example to discuss. While I agree with you,  BlueChristmas06, I wouldn't speak out like that. If I did, I'd feel bad and worry about it all day. I'd assume that everyone has...|||Actually, as an individual, I have no problems. I know exactly what I want and I know how to go for it. The problem is when it involves other people. I tend to give in when pushed. I can take...'