Divorce and the Adjustment of Children

After completing this article, readers should be able to: Lynne was 4 years old and her brother David 8 years old when their parents, Marcia and George, divorced following an unhappy, contentious marriage and an acrimonious break-up. The conflict continued in the first year following divorce, as Marcia and George argued, often in front of the children, about money, visitation, and parental rights and responsibilities. Marcia, who had custody of the children, initially felt overwhelmed by the challenges of a dramatic decline in income; erratic support payments; and raising two anxious, confused, angry children alone.George remarried 1 year after the divorce, had a new child, and moved out of state. Although George had been close to David, he gradually drifted out of the children’s lives. At first he phoned, sent gifts, and saw the children for brief unsatisfying visits in the summer, but as distance and a new family took its toll, even these contacts ceased.Much to her surprise after the initial turbulence of the break-up, Marcia found herself happier in her new life. Her physical and mental health improved. Visits to the doctor were less frequent, and depressive symptoms that had immobilized her in the last years of her marriage abated. She developed competencies as she went back to school, got a better job, and became a more competent parent without a spouse who undermined her discipline. Parenting Lynne always had been easier than parenting David, and Lynne and her mother became closer and developed a warm, companionate relationship as Lynne grew older. In contrast, David and his mother often became involved in coercive, fractious exchanges that evolved into a sullen withdrawal by David in adolescence.Although both the children initially were distressed by the divorce, the changes in their lives, and the loss of their father, Lynne eventually adapted positively to their more harmonious family situation and their mother’s warm, supportive, but firm and consistent parenting. By 2 years after divorce, Lynne had ceased the anxious, clinging, demanding behavior and sleep disturbances she had exhibited before and immediately following the divorce. She became a happy, high-achieving, self-confident, well-adjusted child, popular with her schoolmates and teachers.David’s struggle to cope was more problematic. He always had been a difficult child, who was irritable and hard to soothe as an infant and impulsive, explosive, and difficult to control as a toddler. These characteristics were exacerbated by the divorce, and as he grew older, David remained noncompliant and aggressive in relations with his mother and sister, adults, and peers. In spite of his mother’s efforts to help and control him, in adolescence he became involved with antisocial companions, abused drugs and alcohol, and dropped out before completing high school.What factors contribute to such diverse outcomes in child development, even among children in the same family, in response to their parents’ marital transitions? In this article, we review the functioning of factors that make children vulnerable to adverse outcomes and protective factors that buffer them or make them resilient in coping with the challenges and stresses associated with divorce.Before they reach the age of 18 years, more than 55% of American children spend some time living in a single-parent family, typically headed by a mother, with about 50% due to births to unwed mothers and 50% to divorce. Although the divorce rate has declined modestly since the 1970s, about 45% of contemporary marriages are expected to fail, and more than 1 million American children experience parental divorce each year. Fifty percent of divorced adults remarry within 4 years, and one third of American children eventually become members of a stepfamily, with 86% of these stepfamilies composed of a biologic mother and a stepfather. However, remarried families, especially those involving stepchildren, have higher rates of and more rapidly occurring divorces than do first-marriage families. Because cohabitation has become an increasingly common antecedent or alternative to marriage, considering only divorce and remarriage as transitions in couple relationships underestimates the number of family reorganizations encountered by children.Divorce and remarriage should not be viewed as single, static events; rather, they are part of a complex chain of marital transitions and family reorganizations. Risks and resources and protective and vulnerability factors change over time and contribute to the great variability in child outcome following divorce. It is not the inevitability of adverse outcomes, but the diversity in outcomes following divorce that is striking. Divorce not only confronts parents and children with stressful changes and challenges, but it also provides an escape from conflict and the opportunity to build new, more fulfilling relationships.Stressful life events increase at the time of divorce for both parents and children. Following divorce, women’s incomes often decline 30% and are associated with multiple shifts in residence to more affordable, less desirable neighborhoods that have poorer schools, higher crime rates, more deviant peer groups, and fewer resources. As a result, successful parenting and the raising of competent children become more difficult. The fastest route out of poverty for a divorced woman is remarriage.In the first year following divorce, the mental and physical health of parents deteriorates. Parental depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, antisocial behavior, and accidents increase. In a contentious marriage and in the first year following divorce, parental (especially maternal) immune systems become impaired, and a concomitant increase in illness results. Disruption in the functioning of the immune system in divorced women is related to their continuing preoccupation with and attachment to their former spouse. Parental distress and psychological, behavioral, and health problems contribute to inept parenting immediately after divorce.Fifty percent of children in unhappy marriages and during divorce are exposed to high interparental conflict and feel caught in the middle of conflicting loyalty demands. Following divorce, children also face the loss of, or diminished contact with, one parent (usually the father) and disrupted bonds of attachment. A confused, apprehensive, demanding child and a preoccupied, depressed, irritable parent may exacerbate each other’s problems.Individual, familial, and extrafamilial vulnerability and protective factors influence children’s responses to the stresses and changes associated with divorce, life in a single-parent household, and remarriage.The temperamental and personality characteristics of children moderate their responses to the stresses associated with divorce and remarriage. Children who have positive personal characteristics, such as an easy temperament, physical attractiveness, normal or above-average intelligence and self-esteem, and a sense of humor, are more likely to evoke positive responses and support from others and are better able to adapt to the stresses and challenges associated with divorce, life in a single-parent family, and remarriage. Children who have difficult temperaments and less attractive personal characteristics, particularly those who exhibited behavior problems prior to the divorce, are affected more adversely by divorce. Therefore, differences in the adjustment of children who have positive or negative temperaments and personality characteristics prior to divorce tend to become more marked during the adaptation to parental divorce. However, social, behavioral, and psychological problems usually diminish if the divorce involves a shift to a more harmonious family situation with an authoritative custodial parent who is warm, responsive, and communicative and who monitors the child’s behavior appropriately.Meta-analyses indicate few consistent effects of age at the time of divorce and only scattered effects for sex. Both male and female adolescents from divorced families exhibit higher levels of externalizing and internalizing behaviors compared with adolescents in nondivorced families. More consistent sex differences have been found for educational attainment, with adolescent females from divorced or remarried families being less likely to complete high school and college compared with adolescent males. Teenage parenthood is equally likely to occur among male and female adolescents from divorced families. However, single parenthood has more adverse consequences for females than for males, including economic decline in adulthood due to lower educational attainment and the sequelae of teenage motherhood. However, when they have the support of a competent, caring adult, some girls emerge as exceptionally resilient individuals, enhanced by confronting the challenges and responsibilities that follow divorce. Mothers and daughters are more likely than fathers and sons to show enhanced adjustment, including marked personal growth, attainments, and autonomy following divorce.There is more evidence for age and sex differences in response to remarriage. Early adolescent children and those who have spent more time in divorced, single-parent households show more resistance to the entry of a stepparent than do either younger children or older adolescents. Their externalizing behavior and problems in both cognitive and social competence may be exacerbated by their parents’ remarriage. Moreover, girls are more likely than boys to resist the entry of a stepparent and less likely to benefit from the presence of a stepfather.Family relationships have not only a direct effect on the adjustment of children, but also a moderating effect on factors such as individual characteristics of parents and children, socioeconomic disadvantage, and extrafamilial stresses associated with marital transitions. The protective function of authoritative parenting is particularly salient for children in families going through their parents’ marital transitions and other situations involving multiple stressors.Approximately 84% of children reside in the physical custody of their mother following divorce. Even when joint custody is granted, most children reside primarily with their mothers. Children in the custody of their father are more likely to be boys; to be older; and to have a mother who is less educated, poorer, less involved with her children, and more psychologically impaired. Although the experiences of children in mother custody, father custody, and joint custody families vary, there is little consistent evidence of the superiority of any of these arrangements for a child’s adjustment. Both boys and girls can develop well in any type of custodial arrangement with an involved, authoritative parent.In the immediate aftermath of divorce, custodial mothers and fathers worry about their adequacy as a parent and experience task overload, health problems, and psychological distress, including anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation. Parenting during this time often is characterized by increased irritability and coercion and diminished communication, affection, consistency, control, and supervision. Although their parenting usually improves after the first year following divorce, on average, divorced custodial parents remain less authoritative than those in nondivorced families.Although there are many similarities in the concerns about parenting voiced by custodial mothers and fathers, there are some differences. Custodial fathers tend to have fewer problems with control or discipline and report less childrearing stress than do mothers, but they communicate and self-disclose less openly with their children and are less competent in monitoring their children’s activities. Poor monitoring by custodial fathers is associated with more delinquent activities in adolescence.Although problems in control and coercive exchanges between mothers and sons may endure, mothers and preadolescent girls often develop close, supportive, companionate, and confiding relationships. During adolescence, however, conflict tends to increase, particularly between early maturing daughters and their mothers. In fact, relationships between divorced mothers and adolescent daughters may become as troubled as those between divorced mothers and sons.Following divorce, contact with noncustodial parents declines rapidly. More than 25% of children have weekly visits with their noncustodial fathers, but about 20% of children see them only a few times a year or not at all. Decreased paternal involvement is related to residential distance, low socioeconomic status, and parental remarriage. When the child is a boy, when there is low conflict between divorced spouses, when mediation is used, or when noncustodial fathers feel that they have some control over decisions about the lives of their children, paternal contact and child support payments are more likely to be maintained.Noncustodial mothers are more likely than noncustodial fathers to maintain contact with their children and to rearrange living arrangements to facilitate children’s visits and are less likely to diminish or terminate contact even when either parent remarries. They also are more supportive, sensitive, and responsive to their children’s needs; more adept at monitoring their children’s behavior; and more influential in the adjustment of their children, particularly daughters. Therefore, it is not surprising that children report feeling closer to noncustodial mothers than to noncustodial fathers.Under conditions of low spousal conflict, contact with supportive, authoritative noncustodial parents can have protective effects for children, especially when the custodial parent is incompetent or rejecting. However, under conditions of high spousal conflict following divorce, frequent contact with noncustodial parents may increase children’s adjustment problems.Coparenting involves shared decision-making, active involvement, and time spent with children. The ideal environment for shared parenting and the one that is most advantageous to children’s adjustment is characterized by minimal conflict, good support, and high-level cooperation based on mutual concern for the child. About 25% of divorced spouses can achieve this ideal. Another 25% of divorced spouses experience sustained, and in some cases, increased conflict. The remaining 50% of divorced spouses develop patterns of disengaged, parallel parenting that involves little communication or cooperation, but also little undermining of the other parent.Vulnerability and protective factors outside of the family, especially those involving peers and in the school, become increasingly important with age. Peer rejection has been shown to increase the negative consequences associated with divorce, but a supportive relationship with a single friend may help to buffer children from the deleterious effects of both peer rejection and marital disruption.Adolescents from divorced and remarried families are more vulnerable to peer influence than are those in nondivorced families. In part, this is because of their precocious independence and lower levels of adult supervision and authoritative parenting. When accompanied by early physical maturity in the daughters, these problems are increased.About one third of adolescents, particularly boys, in divorced and remarried families disengage from the family unit, spending little time at home and avoiding interactions with family members. When disengagement from family relationships is associated with increased involvement in a delinquent peer group, adolescents are at greater risk for developing antisocial behavior and academic problems. However, if disengagement is associated with greater involvement with a caring adult outside of the family home, including parents of a friend, teacher, or some other adult mentor, disengagement may be a positive alternative to an unstable, conflicted family environment.Girls in divorced and remarried families attain puberty earlier and are more likely to become involved with older male peers. This, in combination with nonauthoritative parenting or an overtly sexually active single mother, is associated with earlier and more promiscuous sexual activity and teenage pregnancy. Early maturing and involvement with older peers also is associated with early alcohol and drug use by both adolescent boys and girls.Schools and teachers that have an authoritative approach to children’s education also may have salutary effects for children from divorced and remarried families. School environments characterized by defined schedules, rules, and regulations and the use of warm, consistent discipline and expectations for mature behavior enhance social and cognitive development.Chaotic schools characterized by disorder, punitive erratic discipline, lack of control, unresponsiveness, poor support, low expectations by teachers, and a mutual lack of respect by teachers and students undermine the achievement of students and increase conduct disorders. The children who suffer most adversely from such schools are those exposed to multiple stressors such as those accompanying poverty and marital transitions and those who have no authoritative parent in the home.On average, children from divorced and remarried families, compared with children from two-parent, nondivorced families, exhibit more behavior problems and lower psychological well-being. Some children show severe, enduring adjustment difficulties; others show delayed effects, appearing to adapt well in the initial stages following divorce, but showing problems later. However, in the absence of sustained or new stresses, about 75% of children recover within 2 to 3 years following divorce and 3 to 5 years following remarriage.In the immediate aftermath of a parental divorce or remarriage, most children experience emotional distress and behavior problems as they cope with the confusion and apprehension stemming from changing relationships in the family and shifts in their lives. Common initial emotional and behavioral reactions include anger, resentment, noncompliance, anxiety, depression, and being demanding. For most children, however, these responses begin to diminish in the second year following divorce.The largest and most consistently reported effects of marital transitions on children’s adjustment are in the domains of externalizing disorders, such as noncompliance, conduct disorders, aggression, lack of self-regulation, and decreased academic and economic attainment. Internalizing disorders, such as depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, are found inconsistently and are less marked. In adolescence, children from divorced and remarried families show a twofold increase in the risk for school drop-out, early sexual activity, having children out of wedlock, substance abuse, delinquency, and involvement with antisocial peers compared with those in nondivorced families.In adulthood, they have lower educational attainment and are more likely to be unemployed and on welfare. They also have more problems with family members, in intimate relations, in marriage, and in the workplace. Their divorce rate is higher, and their reports of general well-being and life satisfaction are lower. However, if a youth from a divorced family marries a supportive, well-adjusted spouse from a nondivorced family, their risk of divorce is no higher than that found for youths from intact families.Fortunately, despite the offspring of divorced and remarried parents generally exhibiting more problems than those in nondivorced families, these effect sizes are small. A recent meta-analysis shows that for externalizing behavior, where the largest differences usually are obtained, the effect size is only one third of a deviation unit.Furthermore, many of the effects that are attributed to divorce, such as poor adjustment of children and inept parenting, actually were present long before the break-up occurred. When these predivorce levels of adjustment are controlled for, the effect due to the divorce itself is reduced further by more than one third. In addition, offspring from divorced and remarried families are overrepresented in both multiproblem patterns of adjustment and in high competency patterns. A substantial subgroup of girls from divorced families is exceptionally well-adjusted and socially responsible. Although children may be distressed by their parents’ divorce, most children demonstrate remarkable long-term resiliency in adjusting to their new situation.The increase in joint custody and mediation has led to higher levels of sustained involvement of divorced fathers with their children, increased payment of child support, and greater paternal satisfaction with their relationships with their children. However, women are less satisfied with joint custody and mediation than are men and feel that they have less control over their children’s lives than they would have in a sole maternal custody or nonmediated arrangement. Moreover, these legal innovations seem to have had little impact on the adjustment of children, and some clinicians recently have been concerned that joint custody with high-conflict parents may affect children adversely.Therapy seems to be more difficult and to have more modest effects in divorced than in nondivorced families, perhaps because of the many stresses they encounter. A meta-analysis noted a small average effect size of 0.27 of therapy over a variety of child adjustment domains. Intervention programs are most likely to benefit children who initially have the most severe behavior problems and mothers who are least competent in parenting. School-based programs and child-focused interventions appear to be more successful in changing children’s views of divorce and reducing their distress than in eliminating such problems as conduct disorders in school. Similarly, on the whole, programs focused on parents and parenting skills are more successful in showing changes in parent adjustment and parenting practices than in child adjustment or in interparental conflict. Surprisingly, combined programs focused both on the child and on the mother do not show additive effects beyond single-focus interventions. However, two recent programs that focused on improving custodial mothers’ parenting have shown marked and enduring positive effects on children’s adjustment. Training mothers in effective noncoercive discipline, problem-solving, monitoring, and positive involvement was associated with declines in internalizing and externalizing behavior, reductions in alcohol and drug use, and better academic performance. Some of these effects were sustained for 6 years, the maximum length of time assessed. The quality of the parent-child relationship and parenting skills were important mediators of the changes found in child adjustment. An authoritative parent is the most potent buffer against the adverse effects of the risks associated with marital transitions, and it is encouraging that authoritative parenting skills can be taught to some divorced parents.In the article “Chronic Diarrhea” by James Keating that appeared in the January 2005 issue of Pediatrics in Review, two abbreviations were not defined in Table 9 on page 12. tTG and EMA should be defined as tissue transglutaminase and endomysial antibodies, respectively.

Topic: Family Dynamics and Relationships
Subfield: Demography
Field: Social Sciences
Domain: Social Sciences