jiebi/TextFlow huggingface dataset:
Original text:
interacting with the captive portal is out of scope of this document. [ This document is being collaborated on in Github at: <del> https://github.com/wkumari/draft-ekwk-capport-rfc7710bis.  The most recent version of the document, open issues, etc should all be available here.  The authors (gratefully) accept pull requests.  Text in square brackets will be removed before publication. ] </del>  1.

Reviewer comments:
…ptive-portals/vIDCvkyKXdvMGjwvOHuTsSgFzt8/
LGTM, for this change to address 1/2 of the referenced comments.

Revised text:
interacting with the captive portal is out of scope of this document. [ This document is being collaborated on in Github at:  <ins> https://github.com/capport-wg/7710bis.  The most recent version of the document, open issues, etc should all be available here.  The authors (gratefully) accept pull requests.  Text in square brackets will be removed before publication. ] </ins> 1.
Original text:
If the URIs learned via more than one option described in option are not all identical, this condition should be logged for the device <del> owner or administrator.  URI precedence in this situation is not specified by this document. </del>  4.

Reviewer comments:
…ptive-portals/vIDCvkyKXdvMGjwvOHuTsSgFzt8/
LGTM, for this change to address 1/2 of the referenced comments.

Revised text:
If the URIs learned via more than one option described in option are not all identical, this condition should be logged for the device  <ins> owner or administrator.  Implementations can select their own precedence order. </ins> 4.
Original text:
credentials, etc.  By handing out a URI using which is protected with TLS, the captive portal operator can attempt to reassure the user that the captive portal is not malicious. <del> Operating systems should conduct all interactions with the API in a sand-boxed environment and with a configuration that minimizes tracking risks. </del>

Reviewer comments:
…ptive-portals/vIDCvkyKXdvMGjwvOHuTsSgFzt8/
LGTM, for this change to address 1/2 of the referenced comments.

Revised text:
credentials, etc.  By handing out a URI using which is protected with TLS, the captive portal operator can attempt to reassure the user that the captive portal is not malicious.
Original text:
but not the requested action. The client cannot always know a priori if an Authorized Resource <del> Request will succeed.  If the client repeatedly gets error responses containing AS Creation Hints (cf.  Section 5.1.2 of I-D.ietf-ace- oauth-authz as response to its requests, it SHOULD request a new access token from the authorization server in order to continue communication with the resource server. </del>  Unauthorized requests that have been received over a DTLS session SHOULD be treated as non-fatal by the RS, i.e., the DTLS session

Reviewer comments:
This change addresses the issue raised by NAME among the authors that it is worth mentioning This is already addressed in the framework document but to avoid implementation errors it seems worth mentioning here as well.
Merged as two other authors have agreed.

Revised text:
but not the requested action. The client cannot always know a priori if an Authorized Resource  <ins> Request will succeed.  It must check the validity of its keying material before sending a request or processing a response.  If the client repeatedly gets error responses containing AS Creation Hints (cf.  Section 5.1.2 of I-D.ietf-ace-oauth-authz as response to its requests, it SHOULD request a new access token from the authorization server in order to continue communication with the resource server. </ins> Unauthorized requests that have been received over a DTLS session SHOULD be treated as non-fatal by the RS, i.e., the DTLS session
Original text:
if the token is later transferred over an insecure connection (e.g. when it is sent to the authz-info endpoint). <del> Developers MUST ensure that the ephemeral credentials (i.e., the private key or the session key) are not leaked to third parties.  An adversary in possession of the ephemeral credentials bound to the access token will be able to impersonate the client.  Be aware that this is a real risk with many constrained environments, since adversaries can often easily get physical access to the devices and therefore use phyical extraction techniques to gain access to memory contents.  This risk can also be mitigated to some extent by making sure that keys are refreshed more frequently. </del>  6.3.

Reviewer comments:
I removed the part about the DoS via AS Discovery hints since it was unrealistic.
I changed the text. Text added. Text added. Here is the text from Section 7.2 of draft-ietf-ace-dtls-authorize: URL All editorial comments addressed.
PR addressing comments can be found here: URL
Merged

Revised text:
if the token is later transferred over an insecure connection (e.g. when it is sent to the authz-info endpoint).  <ins> Care must by taken by developers to prevent leakage of the PoP credentials (i.e., the private key or the symmetric key).  An adversary in possession of the PoP credentials bound to the access token will be able to impersonate the client.  Be aware that this is a real risk with many constrained environments, since adversaries may get physical access to the devices and can therefore use phyical extraction techniques to gain access to memory contents.  This risk can be mitigated to some extent by making sure that keys are refreshed frequently, by using software isolation techniques and by using hardware security. </ins> 6.3.
Original text:
6.3. <del> For performance reasons, an endpoint can receive incoming packets from the underlying platform in a batch of multiple packets.  This batch can contain enough packets to cause multiple acknowledgements to be sent. </del> To avoid sending multiple acknowledgements in rapid succession, an endpoint can process all packets in a batch before determining whether to send an ACK frame in response, as stated in Section 13.2.2

Reviewer comments:
Defer to RFC9000.
The text says: "For performance reasons, an endpoint can receive incoming packets from the underlying platform in a batch of multiple packets." is this the network layer... or something else?
It could be the OS or the hardware.
I think the sentence needs some work - I can believe the network; interface; operating system; etc. Are examples of reasons why there is bunching of packets so that a batch of packets arrive at the receiver. The current text doesn't really say quite what I'd expect.

Revised text:
6.3.  To avoid sending multiple acknowledgements in rapid succession, an endpoint can process all packets in a batch before determining whether to send an ACK frame in response, as stated in Section 13.2.2
Original text:
receivers to ignore obsolete frames, see multiple-frames. A variable-length integer representing the maximum number of ack- <del> eliciting packets after which the receiver sends an acknowledgement.  A value of 1 will result in an acknowledgement being sent for every ack-eliciting packet received.  A value of 0 is invalid.  Receipt of an invalid value MUST be treated as a connection error of type FRAME_ENCODING_ERROR.  If an endpoint receives an ACK-eliciting threshold value that is larger than the maximum value it can represent, the endpoint MUST use the largest representable value instead. </del>  A variable-length integer representing the value to which the endpoint requests the peer update its "max_ack_delay"

Reviewer comments:
Also updates the transport parameter codepoint to 0xff03de1a from 0xff02de1a.
While reading the latest ack-frequency draft, I am confused with the wording that was added in URL If I have ack-eliciting threshold = 1, to me it means that I can receive 1 ack-eliciting packet before sending an ACK, i.e. I have to send ACK after receiving 1 packet. But looking at the example of 0, this interpretation looks wrong. NAME suggested, maybe the "before" needs to be "without" and an additional sentence added: "An immediate acknowledgement is sent when more than this number of packets have been received." I agree with his suggestion.
Thanks for the issues, this is a bit unclear. PTAL at
The definition that I use internally is "the number of packets you can receive without sending an immediate acknowledgment". This is different than saying "please acknowledge every N packets". The main benefit of this definition is that there are no invalid values for the number. I recommend making this adjustment in the frame definition: it will be more efficient (by a tiny amount), but it also removes the need to validate the value.
This seems like a good change, it's just a matter of writing the text.

Revised text:
receivers to ignore obsolete frames, see multiple-frames. A variable-length integer representing the maximum number of ack-  <ins> eliciting packets the recipient of this frame can receive before sending an immediate acknowledgment.  A value of 0 will result in an immediate acknowledgement whenever an ack-eliciting packet received.  If an endpoint receives an ACK-eliciting threshold value that is larger than the maximum value it can represent, the endpoint MUST use the largest representable value instead. </ins> A variable-length integer representing the value to which the endpoint requests the peer update its "max_ack_delay"
Original text:
Every time an acknowledgement is sent, bundled or otherwise, all counters and timers related to delaying of acknowledgments are reset.  6.1. As specified in Section 13.2.1 of QUIC-TRANSPORT, endpoints are

Reviewer comments:
Also updates the transport parameter codepoint to 0xff03de1a from 0xff02de1a.
While reading the latest ack-frequency draft, I am confused with the wording that was added in URL If I have ack-eliciting threshold = 1, to me it means that I can receive 1 ack-eliciting packet before sending an ACK, i.e. I have to send ACK after receiving 1 packet. But looking at the example of 0, this interpretation looks wrong. NAME suggested, maybe the "before" needs to be "without" and an additional sentence added: "An immediate acknowledgement is sent when more than this number of packets have been received." I agree with his suggestion.
Thanks for the issues, this is a bit unclear. PTAL at
The definition that I use internally is "the number of packets you can receive without sending an immediate acknowledgment". This is different than saying "please acknowledge every N packets". The main benefit of this definition is that there are no invalid values for the number. I recommend making this adjustment in the frame definition: it will be more efficient (by a tiny amount), but it also removes the need to validate the value.
This seems like a good change, it's just a matter of writing the text.

Revised text:
Every time an acknowledgement is sent, bundled or otherwise, all counters and timers related to delaying of acknowledgments are reset. <ins> The receiver of an ACK_FREQUENCY frame can continue to process multiple available packets before determining whether to send an ACK frame in response, as stated in Section 13.2.2 of QUIC-TRANSPORT. </ins> 6.1. As specified in Section 13.2.1 of QUIC-TRANSPORT, endpoints are
Original text:
Discussion of this draft takes place on the QUIC working group mailing list (quic@ietf.org), which is archived at <del> https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/search/?email_list=quic [1]. Source code and issues list for this draft can be found at https://github.com/quicwg/ack-frequency [2]. </del>  <del> Working Group information can be found at https://github.com/quicwg [3]; </del>  1.

Reviewer comments:
You aren't using URL, so remove it. I updated the links so that the text rendering doesn't include them twice.

Revised text:
Discussion of this draft takes place on the QUIC working group mailing list (quic@ietf.org), which is archived at  <ins> <https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/search/?email_list=quic>.  Source code and issues list for this draft can be found at <https://github.com/quicwg/ack-frequency>. </ins>  <ins> Working Group information can be found at <https://github.com/ quicwg>. </ins> 1.
Original text:
11. TBD. <del> 12.  References 12.1.  URIs [1] https://mailarchive.ietf.org/arch/search/?email_list=quic [2] https://github.com/quicwg/ack-frequency [3] https://github.com/quicwg </del>

Reviewer comments:
You aren't using URL, so remove it. I updated the links so that the text rendering doesn't include them twice.

Revised text:
11. TBD.
Original text:
QUIC-TRANSPORT currently specifies a simple delayed acknowledgement mechanism that a receiver can use: send an acknowledgement for every <del> other packet, and for every packet when reordering is observed.  This simple mechanism does not allow a sender to signal its constraints. This extension provides a mechanism to solve this problem. </del>  3.

Reviewer comments:
NAME tell me if this is sufficient, or if you wanted more references to RFC9000.
Thanks, I'm open to other suggestions if you have them, but nothing else stuck out at me. I'm reluctant to repeat the full definition of out of order in this document, given it's well defined in RFC9000.
When reviewing the draft I got caught on this part: As specified in Section 13.2.1 of [QUIC-TRANSPORT], endpoints are expected to send an acknowledgement immediately on receiving a reordered ack-eliciting packet. This extension modifies this behavior. There is an issue here in how this draft uses "reordering". Section 13.2.1 of RFC 9000 does say that ACKs should be sent immediately if: "In order to assist loss detection at the sender, an endpoint SHOULD generate and send an ACK frame without delay when it receives an ack-eliciting packet either: when the received packet has a packet number less than another ack-eliciting packet that has been received, orwhen the packet has a packet number larger than the highest-numbered ack-eliciting packet that has been received and there are missing packets between that packet and this packet." Although the first bullet clearly is reordering, the second could be caused by three different mechanisms: Reordering of packets, loss of packets, or sender intentional gap (as discussed in ) Thus, I think this section needs to be clear if actually means both of the above bullets for when to send ACK or only one of them?
Thanks Magnus, the intent was to follow the RFC9000 definition, so I'll write a PR to clarify that was the intent.
A couple of minor edits, but lgtmOk, I think this is truly the bare minimal to resolve my issue. There exist a clearer chain back towards Section 13.2.1 in RFC9000 and I guess that is sufficient.

Revised text:
QUIC-TRANSPORT currently specifies a simple delayed acknowledgement mechanism that a receiver can use: send an acknowledgement for every  <ins> other packet, and for every packet that is received out of order (Section 13.2.1 of QUIC-TRANSPORT).  This simple mechanism does not allow a sender to signal its constraints.  This extension provides a mechanism to solve this problem. </ins> 3.
Original text:
A 1-bit field representing a boolean truth value.  This field is set to "true" by an endpoint that does not wish to receive an <del> immediate acknowledgement when the peer observes reordering (reordering).  0 represents 'false' and 1 represents 'true'. </del>  A 1-bit field representing a boolean truth value.  This field is set to "true" by an endpoint that does not wish to receive an immediate acknowledgement when the peer receives CE-marked packets <del> (reordering).  0 represents 'false' and 1 represents 'true'. </del>  ACK_FREQUENCY frames are ack-eliciting.  However, their loss does not require retransmission if an ACK_FREQUENCY frame with a larger

Reviewer comments:
NAME tell me if this is sufficient, or if you wanted more references to RFC9000.
Thanks, I'm open to other suggestions if you have them, but nothing else stuck out at me. I'm reluctant to repeat the full definition of out of order in this document, given it's well defined in RFC9000.
When reviewing the draft I got caught on this part: As specified in Section 13.2.1 of [QUIC-TRANSPORT], endpoints are expected to send an acknowledgement immediately on receiving a reordered ack-eliciting packet. This extension modifies this behavior. There is an issue here in how this draft uses "reordering". Section 13.2.1 of RFC 9000 does say that ACKs should be sent immediately if: "In order to assist loss detection at the sender, an endpoint SHOULD generate and send an ACK frame without delay when it receives an ack-eliciting packet either: when the received packet has a packet number less than another ack-eliciting packet that has been received, orwhen the packet has a packet number larger than the highest-numbered ack-eliciting packet that has been received and there are missing packets between that packet and this packet." Although the first bullet clearly is reordering, the second could be caused by three different mechanisms: Reordering of packets, loss of packets, or sender intentional gap (as discussed in ) Thus, I think this section needs to be clear if actually means both of the above bullets for when to send ACK or only one of them?
Thanks Magnus, the intent was to follow the RFC9000 definition, so I'll write a PR to clarify that was the intent.
A couple of minor edits, but lgtmOk, I think this is truly the bare minimal to resolve my issue. There exist a clearer chain back towards Section 13.2.1 in RFC9000 and I guess that is sufficient.

Revised text:
A 1-bit field representing a boolean truth value.  This field is set to "true" by an endpoint that does not wish to receive an  <ins> immediate acknowledgement when the peer receives a packet out of order (out-of-order). 0 represents 'false' and 1 represents 'true'. </ins> A 1-bit field representing a boolean truth value.  This field is set to "true" by an endpoint that does not wish to receive an immediate acknowledgement when the peer receives CE-marked packets  <ins> (out-of-order).  0 represents 'false' and 1 represents 'true'. </ins> ACK_FREQUENCY frames are ack-eliciting.  However, their loss does not require retransmission if an ACK_FREQUENCY frame with a larger
Original text:
Since the last acknowledgement was sent, "max_ack_delay" amount of time has passed. <del> reordering, congestion, and batch describe exceptions to this </del>  strategy. An endpoint is expected to bundle acknowledgements when possible.

Reviewer comments:
NAME tell me if this is sufficient, or if you wanted more references to RFC9000.
Thanks, I'm open to other suggestions if you have them, but nothing else stuck out at me. I'm reluctant to repeat the full definition of out of order in this document, given it's well defined in RFC9000.
When reviewing the draft I got caught on this part: As specified in Section 13.2.1 of [QUIC-TRANSPORT], endpoints are expected to send an acknowledgement immediately on receiving a reordered ack-eliciting packet. This extension modifies this behavior. There is an issue here in how this draft uses "reordering". Section 13.2.1 of RFC 9000 does say that ACKs should be sent immediately if: "In order to assist loss detection at the sender, an endpoint SHOULD generate and send an ACK frame without delay when it receives an ack-eliciting packet either: when the received packet has a packet number less than another ack-eliciting packet that has been received, orwhen the packet has a packet number larger than the highest-numbered ack-eliciting packet that has been received and there are missing packets between that packet and this packet." Although the first bullet clearly is reordering, the second could be caused by three different mechanisms: Reordering of packets, loss of packets, or sender intentional gap (as discussed in ) Thus, I think this section needs to be clear if actually means both of the above bullets for when to send ACK or only one of them?
Thanks Magnus, the intent was to follow the RFC9000 definition, so I'll write a PR to clarify that was the intent.
A couple of minor edits, but lgtmOk, I think this is truly the bare minimal to resolve my issue. There exist a clearer chain back towards Section 13.2.1 in RFC9000 and I guess that is sufficient.

Revised text:
Since the last acknowledgement was sent, "max_ack_delay" amount of time has passed.  <ins> out-of-order, congestion, and batch describe exceptions to this </ins> strategy. An endpoint is expected to bundle acknowledgements when possible.
Original text:
Different challenges allow the server to obtain proof of different aspects of control over an identifier.  In some challenges, like HTTP and TLS SNI, the client directly proves its ability to do certain <del> things related to the identifier.  In the Proof of Possession challenge, the client proves historical control of the identifier, by reference to a prior authorization transaction or certificate. The choice of which challenges to offer to a client under which circumstances is a matter of server policy.  A CA may choose different sets of challenges depending on whether it has interacted with a domain before, and how.  For example: New domain with no known certificates: Domain Validation (HTTP or TLS SNI) Domain for which known certs exist from other CAs: DV + Proof of Possession of previous CA-signed key Domain with a cert from this CA, lost account key: DV + PoP of ACME-certified Subject key Domain with a cert from this CA, all keys and recovery mechanisms lost: Out of band proof of authority for the domain </del>  The identifier validation challenges described in this section all relate to validation of domain names.  If ACME is extended in the

Reviewer comments:
There has been no implementer interest in the proof-of-possession challenge, and it makes the document more complex by having a completely different structure than the other challenges. If it is decided later that such a challenge is necessary, it can be added in a follow-on extension specificiation.
Generally this seems fine, and I wholeheartedly agree with the purpose of the removal (for now). One problem I can't open a comment for: Line 2099, the last paragraph before "Preventing Authorization Hijacking", still refers to the PoP Challenge. Without the PoP Challenge wording, a new reader may take that this to be referring to the implicit Proof of Possession of the ACME Account Key and thus be confused. Since it's non-normative, perhaps you could simply modify that paragraph into something more like:

Revised text:
Different challenges allow the server to obtain proof of different aspects of control over an identifier.  In some challenges, like HTTP and TLS SNI, the client directly proves its ability to do certain  <ins> things related to the identifier.  The choice of which challenges to offer to a client under which circumstances is a matter of server policy. </ins> The identifier validation challenges described in this section all relate to validation of domain names.  If ACME is extended in the