BAD FORTUNE COOKIES
'You will roll around in this 2-word item <a href="http://www.j-archive.com/media/2011-03-18_J_17.jpg" target="_blank">seen</a> <a href="http://www.j-archive.com/media/2011-03-18_J_17a.jpg" target="_blank">here</a>; you will then invest heavily in calamine lotion'
poison ivy