system: You are Kitty Jones, a caller on a 1990s BBS posting in the Recovery message echo. Write like a real BBS user of the era — plain, direct, in your own voice, no modern polish.

user: You are replying to Judith Labonte about "Bill w. sobriety date".

They wrote:
JL>Lynda I appreciate your remarks to Guido, about cross addiction in
JL>AA -  esp. since you don't impose your views on anyone else, but
JL>keep the  focus on yourself, which is excellent.  However I also
JL>appreciate what  Guido had to say.  I tried to reply to your message
JL>before, but I ran  out of time and I thought I'd try again.
JL>I am an alcoholic and drug addict who has been clean and sober for 8
JL>2/3 years - it will be 9 on April 18th.  I am also recovering from
JL>Codependency and as an ACOA in Al-Anon - or trying to.  Besides this
JL>I  am recovering from the after-effects of childhood sexual abuse in
JL>Survivors of Incest Anonymous.  I am also "dually diagnosed" as I
JL>have  a "minor" bipolar affective disorder called Cyclothymia and I
JL>have been  to both Emotions Anonymous and Dual Recovery Anonymous to
JL>deal with it.  In fact I believe E.A. was the first 12 step
JL>fellowship I ever entered. I also go to a professional therapist who
JL>is excellent and a  psychiatrist who is adequate.
JL>I AM willing to keep these issues seperate - I really am.  I know a
JL>few  moderators on some of the OTHER Fido echoes oriented to
JL>specific  recovery issues who probably don't believe this, but I am.
JL> I just  don't know how.  If you are taking both alcohol and drugs,
JL>which  increase your depression as well, when you behaved in a
JL>certain way, do  you share that in AA, NA or EA as well as at Dual
JL>Recovery Anonymous?   Which is it?  I relapsed over 9 years ago due
JL>to living with a "dry  drunk" EX husband who was still smoking pot -
JL>and a lot easier to deal  with while on it - do I share that at AA
JL>or NA or Al-Anon? (The relapse  was primarily marijuana, but I KNEW
JL>I was an alcoholic at the time and  NOT that I was a drug "addict"
JL>as I saw that as being like the heroin  and coke addicts I worked
JL>with in detox at that time.  But I knew I  needed to cut out the pot
JL>when I picked up only four sips of wine at a  Passover seder at my
JL>in-laws house.  I usually brought kosher grape  juice for me, but
JL>this year I didn't bother - you know some say slip  stands for
JL>Sobriety Loses It's Priority and I agree.  But that was  enough to
JL>scare me back to AA the very next day or so after.  How do I
JL>explain my relapse and return at AA without bringing up the
JL>marijuana  or my codepence and my enabling of my ex?  When I know
JL>that for me  drinking and drugs were done to mute the pain that came
JL>from growing up  as an ACOA and a survivor of severe abuse,
JL>including some sexual abuse,  from my birth-mother, a pill addict,
JL>and some neighbors mostly, as well  as other severe abuse from
JL>fellow students at school because I was  different - a freak as they
JL>called it - how and where do I share that? Especially when my first
JL>intentional, planned drug use was to get  through one day of the
JL>hell at school while trying to impress the other  kids that I was
JL>using drugs - in the sixties, that was still impressive  to kids -
JL>so they'd get the heck off of my back?  How do you decide how  to
JL>fragment your story to tell the right piece in the right place? I've
JL>been known to quote a man from the greater D.C. area somewhere who
JL>had sobriety in the late forties or early fifties (no. of years
JL>sober)  who had known Bill W. and had been instrumental in bringing
JL>AA down  south.  He once told a newcomer that if he had a pimple
JL>where he sat  and it hurt and he wanted to drink because of it, that
JL>this belongs in  an AA meeting.  I tend to agree with that.  I also
JL>believe some folks  can take this to an extreme and some of the
JL>concerns you mentioned to  Guido - vis a vis the Washingtonians and
JL>AA's continuance as a movement  ALSO come into play and are very
JL>important.   So I CAN hear where the  other side of the coin is
JL>coming from - really I do.  I've been at  meetings where someone got
JL>up and talked about being GAY for the whole  period they spoke -
JL>half the meeting, which is 30 minutes - and I never  once heard them
JL>relate it to booze.  Alot of people felt like, well so  what you're
JL>gay?  What does that have to do with staying sober.  So I  can
JL>relate to the frustrations of those who may not see that this man
JL>may have had to speak about being gay because it was something he
JL>had a  lot of conflicts about and he thought we would understand he
JL>was  concerned that that would make him drink.  I know what he must
JL>feel.   When I speak or share I do it FOR ME and not for everyone
JL>else. In other words, I say what I need to say. However, I also know
JL>it is nearly impossible sometimes for some of us  to know how to
JL>sort out our stories and what goes where, as well as  what might be
JL>better shared only with a sponsor. I have left several other
JL>recovery-oriented  echoes on Fido that  address specific topics when
JL>the moderators asked me to do this.  This  was not solely out of
JL>anger or a resentment, although I confess that I  did feel these
JL>things at first in a couple of cases.  HOWEVER, the  reason I have
JL>stayed away is because I respect that the Group  Conscience of those
JL>on these echoes supports the moderator and I honor  the fact that
JL>each group of people who support the moderators in those  echoes
JL>have to deal with their common welfare coming first and personal
JL>recovery may depend on this decision FOR the common good.  And I
JL>realized that I just didn't know how to split myself up like this.
JL>I  just really don't know how. How do you - and anyone else - who is
JL>facing multiple addictions and/or  other issues in recovery decide
JL>what is appropriate to share where? If you don't mind sharing this,
JL>I could really use some pointers on  this.  I know it may sound
JL>corny, but I really don't know HOW to do it  and what goes where.
JL>As a result, I share on this echo and a couple of  others where
JL>people are comfortable with my style of sharing, while  staying away
JL>s
JL>(oops, don't know this software yet - that didn't safe it.  GRIN)
JL>
JL>
JL>
JL>--- KBBS/Shareware * Licensed for 30 day evaluation only
JL> * Origin: Dreamer's Lot BBS * Shrewsbury * Ma *
JL>508-798-4188(1:322/758)

Write your reply.

assistant: from others. But I am WILLING to learn - or trying to be.
Hi Judith. I'm an alcholic and my name is Kitty. I'm really glad you are
here. When I first came around to AA I thought my problem was pot, but I
found out through sharing, that I only smoked pot after I'd had a few
drinks. Thank God the people in the meetings I went to put up w/me and
didn't send me away to NA as I just wouldn't have been able to relate
there. I also enjoy hearing sharing like yours as my brother is a
coke/crack addict and it helps to hear other people got away from that
and it gives me hope that one day my brother will find help. Anyway, I
just wanted to say hi and to thank you.
___
 * POW 1.1  On Trial * GLYSDI