Pages

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

My lost Identity!!!!!! 

Today, when I was sitting there on marine drive, was constantly thinking about myself.  I was sitting with friends but wasn't there mentaly..

I was thinking about "Is it OK to fight for your dreams?  Is it fine to fight for things u love?  Even if t hurts people you love?  What's more important- making people happy or being happy??  whats more important-- let things happen or make them happen??"  Too many questions for a tiny brain. 

Someone must be thinking I am loosing my mind but I know the truth.  I am just in the search of the right path for myself.  Whenever I look around me.  I find people People too busy with their own lives.  They seem to be with you but when u actually look into things deeply none is really there.  Yeah, I know its not true for everyone but still I am not supposed to say that every relation is perfectly true or am I? 

I must say when I think about things happening around, I find myself lost.  Its not that I don't see it.  I face it everyday but its not that easy to accept it.  Whenever I feel low, just 1 thing comes in my mind- should I give up??  Why am I loosing hope??  Should I stop believing in things or myself.......... ??  I am scared of myself.. Sometimes I even think about commiting suicide too.(never mind, I made this one up, lol.  I am really too coward to do that).. But I wasn't like this ever,Ii wasn't negetive ever... Its getting very hard to smile now a days.. I never tried so hard to being happy... I used to believe in living life not just spending it for the sake coz you have to.. Seriously I don't even remember when I laughed so hard by heart last time..Many times I try to collect my thoughts together and wrap them up but not able to..