Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Brain of Blood

The first Al Adamson flick I was impressed by was Satans Sadists, it's mix of clownish bikers and inept clumsiness made me think where
has this director been all my life?  At the time I had a nerve shattering
attention span and could put up with almost any kind of garbage and laugh it
up.  The older I get the less I can tolerate.  Besides Nurse Sherri, which at times I was laughing so fucking hard that
it's ridiculous-ness won me over.  Since this film is in the DR catalog and I recently reactivated my Fandor account it's back on the agenda. 

Regina Carrol who looks like a 70's porn version of Nancy
Sinatra is the first thing we see.  In reality she was Al Adamson's wife and died very young at the age of 49 from cancer.  Adamson's death was seriously grim too, he was missing for weeks as his live in contractor Fred Fulford ran up weird charges on his credit card and was charged with murder.  Eventually the director's remains were found underneath the cement where his jacuzzi was installed over.  A very tragic end to schlocky director who's left us with some trash classics.  Anyway back to the review. 

Al Adamson (R.I.P. 1929-1995)

I recognized Zandor Vorkov, the Latin dude who played the
goatee sportin' Dracula in Dracula vs Frankenstein (this was his only other known role before joining the private sector, maybe he works at Arbys now, who knows)? 

Reed Hadley plays Amir, he's got one hell of an underbite, he's also sick and needs an
operation.  I wonder if it's a brain transplant?  The graphics that go along with
the credits as usual in a Sam Sherman / Al Adamson production are pretty fucking nifty and colorful.  I
have the feeling they are the best part of what's about to unfold.  Amir the
toothy leader is dead, wrapped in what looks like a tinfoil corpse shell (maybe
they want to seal in his juices)! 

let's carve off some of these human trimmings for Arby's version of The Yumbo

Angelo Rossito veteran of the stage and screen plays a
tiny surgeon.  The first thing I ever saw him in was Freaks where he gets spit
on by the evil blonde bitch played by Olga Baclanova who drank from the lovin cup.  He's been in a
million other things ever since like Mad Max 3: Beyond The Thunderdome.  I recently found a letter in Fangoria by Forrest Ackerman that mentions Rossito's former co-star Johnny Eck the half boy was robbed and pinned down by the assailants.  He set up a fund to help him get back on track after that traumatic incident. 

Verne Troyer is a total pussy

Surgeons hack into a round white melon as the most crimson looking poster paint splashes out, I feel as if I can hear Bob Ross softly intone "Let's
use it for the landscape on this field of happy little trees".  The operator's
sticky bloody fingers click a camera, in what looks like an abandoned Dentist's office, maybe this will be explained later.  A guy
with ginormous mutton chops and a sweaty paunchy face prowls inside an
apartment as the brain surgery resumes.  The mutton paunch fellow is strangled and tossed off a fire
escape by a bulbous headed freak, maybe he's related to the guy from The Brain That Wouldn't Die? 
Angelo Rossito goes down to the mad surgeon's dungeon and
taunts two girls chained to the wall, he wears a golf cap with a frilly ball on top. 
He draws blood from a female who looks to be about 12--it's a little unsettling. 

Mohamed keeps acting irritated and offended by all the
proceedings.  Maybe he's tired from just acting in the last Al Adamson monster
mash.  He gets ejected along with Bob, an Adam West looking Dr. played by Grant Williams of The Incredible Shrinking Man fame. 

So far, my fav characters are Gor, the retarded monster who sits on the ground playing
with toys and the overly loud and giggly Rossito.  John Bloom (not the Joe Bob Briggs one) plays Gor, he has quite an impressive resume and was born with acromegaly the same affliction that Andre The Giant, Rondo Hatton and Ted Cassidy all share. 

Jeff Garlin as Sloth's brother Troff

Cinematic Titanic or the MST3K leftovers lampooned this one, but since I don't care for Joel or Dr. Forrester, I didn't see it.  It's gotta be better than this flick though. 

Gor is strapped to the table, I like how you can see his hair
beneath the moldy cold cuts glued to his face that try to pass for creature
makeup!  In a ridiculous flashback they show how two jerks (one
looks like he's escaped from the Spahn ranch) and a beer bellied galoot pour
car battery acid on Gor's face. 

Fake Nancy Sinatra returns, her and the fake Adam West guy
almost look like Christian fundamentalists all decked on in shimmering white
outfits.  Next up is a roof top chase-- there's so many non sequiturs it seems
like they didn't even have a script.  I value this kind of schlocky trash and
it's on that cusp of fun yet frustrating, it was unusually entertainingto me. 

You've wound up in a Christian Science operating room, so you're fucked! 

Gor revolts against everyone and escapes the Dr.'s lab with
Tracy (Carol).  The makeup on his face looks pretty hokey as if half his mug was
smacked with a clump of steel cut oatmeal and toilet paper. 

That reminds me I gotta pick those up at the grocery store. 

I hope my Alymer is still in the bathtub when I get home

The title is very misleading, there's a brain shot for maybe
15 min and most of it revolves around a subplot that's nonexistent and oddly
political.  Gor who is suicidal and Tracy split the scene and drive off.  Angelo as the
cackling dwarf wears an Andy Capp style hat, when shoves one guy down a short
flight of steps he seems very proud like he accomplished a lot that day!  Everything about this movie is terrible and inept but it's really fascinating
for some reason.  It's available on Fandor along with other Adamson junk.