["Cardiac packages" for garden gnomes]. 
Garden gnomes tend to be obese, to smoke and to be physically inactive.  Further, they are often socioeconomically deprived which adversely influences the risk and prognosis of cardiovascular disease.  It is likely that garden gnomes will not benefit from the "cardiac packages", describing how Danish patients supposed to suffer from cardiovascular disease are entitled to timely and structured assessment in outpatient departments.  This paper suggests that cardiovascular assessment and rehabilitation of garden gnomes must address their sociocultural needs (such as targeted dietary counselling).  This is probably best achieved by special outreach clinics.