Szymanski: Valentine's Day about crafts for kids, romance for young adults; those in love need no card

My friend’s daughter wrote about Valentine’s Day in a Facebook post this week.  Livy listed the things we do on this day of romance, and then acknowledged that most of it is cheesy.  But she flipped that diagnosis by admitting that she embraces it all.  Livy challenged everyone to make a construction paper mail box for their desk or door and start collecting Valentines, just like we did when we were kids in school. 

I didn’t construct a red paper mailbox, but I got a chuckle out of Livy’s post, and it got me thinking about the history of this holiday, how it evolves as we age, and what love really is. 

Multiple sources tell us that the history of Valentine’s Day — and the story of its patron saint — are shrouded in mystery. 

There were at least three saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom became martyrs.  The most popular thought is that we celebrate Valentine’s Day in the middle of February to commemorate the death or burial of one of them.  But some claim that the Christian church replaced the St. Valentine’s feast day in the middle of February to “Christianize” the pagan celebration of Lupercalia, celebrated Feb. 15. 

However it began, this red and pink holiday of hearts is a big part of America today.  Our earliest memories most likely begin just about the time we start attending school.  I remember cutting hearts from red construction paper as a girl, and later with my own kids, taping intricately cut, lacy paper doilies to cards we made together for “Daddy.” 

Most of us can easily recall the cheesy Valentine’s Day cards we got from our classmates.  When I was a kid, my class decorated paper lunch bags and taped them to desks to collect Valentine’s Day cards.  Sadly, what should have been fun, often turned into a popularity contest to see who got the most cards.  These days, kids are asked to bring a card for “every classmate,” but I bet the popular ones still get the cutest cards — the ones with lollipops taped to the front. 

When we are young, flat cards that never open are in demand.  They top the tacky list with one-liners and verses that can only be called ridiculous.  But kids love them!  There’s the card with the brightly colored Frankenstein on the front that declares “Be my Valentstein!”  or the one with a Tweety Bird shouting, “Be my Tweetheart!”  And who hasn’t received the rabbit who says, “Somebunny loves you, or the teddy bear card with, “I love you Beary Much!” 

Speaking of bears, does anyone know why teddy bears have become a fixture on Valentine’s Day?  Stores shelves are filled with stuffed teddy bears holding hearts or little boxes of candy.  A commercial on late night television even encourages guys to send their girlfriends “the biggest teddy bear she’ll ever own.”  Seriously?  What adult woman wants a teddy bear? 

As we graduate into middle school, the Valentine’s Day card graduates from one line to a verse — still ridiculous, but a verse just the same. 

Maybe the card says, “Plenty of love, Tons of kisses, Hope someday, To be your Mrs.,” or “My love is like a cabbage, Divided into two,The leaves I give to others, The heart I give to you.”  But the funniest poem I ever heard came from my mom, who told it to me on Valentine’s Day.  She had it memorized and now I do, too. 

“They walked in the lane together, the sky was full of stars.  They reached the gate in silence.  He lifted down the bars.  She neither spoke nor thanked him, for she knew not how.  He was just a farmer’s boy, and she was a Guernsey cow.” 

History.com tells us that Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages, though written Valentine’s didn’t appear until after 1400.  A poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans to his wife (while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London) is said to be the oldest known Valentine still in existence. 

Somewhere around the early 1700s Americans began exchanging homemade, handwritten valentines.  Then, in the 1840s, Valentines were offered for sale.  Esther A. Howland began selling the first mass-produced Valentines in America during that time period.  She was known as the “Mother of the Valentine.”  Her creations were elaborately crafted with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures.  Today, the Greeting Card Association estimates that 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year. 

As a kid, Valentine’s Day is all about crafting colorful decorations, devouring candy and laughing at funny cards.  As a young adult, the day becomes one of romance.  Valentine’s Day dates must include dinner out and some sort of gift — chocolates or bakery goods, that silly teddy bear or even jewelry.  And, of course, every Valentine’s Day at any stage or age must include at least one box of those chalky conversation hearts that have words imprinted in a blur on the front of each pastel-colored candy heart. 

Many decades have passed since the first Valentine’s Day in my memory and my expectations have evolved.  The older I get, the less I think about romance.  I guess there are women who expect jewelry or flowers or chocolates for Valentine’s Day, but that’s not me.  After 37 years of marriage, Valentine’s Day is no longer one of demands. 

On Wednesday, I made Dan a special dinner and baked him cupcakes with candy hearts on top.  He brought me a heart-shaped box of chocolates.  After so many years, we each know how the other feels.  We sometimes speak in unison or read each other’s thoughts.  Dan doesn’t need a card to know I’ll always be his Valentine. 

Love is about more than candy and flowers, or $8 cards shaped like hearts.  Love is reliable.  It’s staying together through thick and thin.  It’s working side by side, and finding time to relax together, too.  It’s forgiving words said in the heat of the moment.  It’s knowing who you can count on and making sure they can count on you as well.  It’s about being your partner’s “Valentine” every day of the week. 

However you celebrated it, I hope your Valentine’s Day was delectably sweet!