New show, let’s go!  Disclaimer, I know a little about Xena as a powerful woman icon and that it’s a big hit with the lesbian community, also the lead is Lucy Lawless who I know from Agents of Shield and, randomly, Parks and Rec.  Otherwise though we’re going in pretty blind.  Not sure I will be doing the whole run, I’m aiming to follow a truncated version of the episodes via DenOfGeek.com as I have two main shows to cover already!  but I want to get a flavour of this too as it’s been on my To Watch list for years and it’s a SFF classic!  Okay, episode 1 then, let’s get into it…

Nice Greek inspired opening.  I think we’re in the past or a fantasy world, bit of both.  This has 90s fantasy nostalgia written all over it, I recall from this era Robin Hood mythos was really big, sword and sorcery with emphasis on the sword. 

Oh, is she a villain??  Didn’t know that. 

Burned village, cute kid character.  Sidekick?  Or guilt piece? 

I wonder is Lucy doing her own stunts.  Looks like this will be a pretty physical role. 

Oh she’s stripping right away…and burying her weapons and armor.  Nice white shift underneath, purifying then eh? 

She manages to stumble into an abduction, nice going hero, and hides into a bush.  I can see our other lead, Blondie, in the abducted group. 

Okay, so right away we have a threat specifically to women.  Not outright of gendered assault, but perhaps implicitly. 

Blondie speaks up, sacrificing herself for the others.  Interesting.  Seems as well there’s a mix of women and men in the group so this is especially unusual for a woman to speak out when there are men there too – for the setting of course, not irl!  I’m not a bigot :’)

So the guy is about to whip Blondie and Xena comes out of the bush and grabs the whip, pretty cool scene.  Very Wonder Woman.  She’s in literally her shift and unarmed defending these people…so maybe not so much of a villain, lawful neutral maybe?  lawful evil and just principled? 

She’s a bloody good fighter altho the fight’s a bit cartoony.  Is she supernatural or a goddess or something?  Unarmed she takes on a whole bunch of the grunts with karate chops, kicks, and some unorthodox moves like disarming them and throwing their own weapons back at them.  Violence wise its a bit PG but I’m guessing that was just the case for the time to get maximum viewer appeal to even get this show off the ground, there wasn’t so much audience stratification and mature market for SFF back then. 

Also she yodels.  Who knew. 

There’s some good acrobatics in here too and spins, and I’m not sure but maybe a lot of it IS Lucy Lawless, which I’m impressed by.  Unfortunately this really is one against everyone as the hostages seem to be pretty useless – in the case of the women fairly justified as they’re in long sleevy robes and lots of layers that has me questioning how they even walk without tripping tbh. 

Xena in a moment of distraction is knocked down and surrounded…but luckily in the exact spot where she buried her weapons.  She pulls out a sword just in time to block a deadly blow…and also some kind of Sailor Moon style boomerang which she flings in a circle, handily chopping off every man’s sword at the hilt before recatching it.  Neat. 

Dual wielding with her sword and ring, cool.  She takes out everyone single handed and then pushes the leader over, wow, vicious… but fairly badass and well acted if a little tame. 

And now actual opening credits!  Thought we had those already.  In what seems a classic 90s trope its spoken word over an instrumental theme.  Some…interesting CGI in there too, oh my. ( I’m reminded of TLC!)  Almost feels like a trailer this, giving us some clips of what we can expect. 

Seems exciting and very fighting-adventure based, also definitely not an ensemble, at this stage anyway.  Okay, cool. 

And we’re in.  Blondie is arguing with the village elders for Xena to stay and protect them, they want her to leave as she’s trouble.  Blondie is Gabrielle, betrothed to be married, but she doesn’t want to.  Hmmmmm. 

Xena – “I travel alone!”  Shybutch then, okay. 

Gabrielle is definitely going to follow her when she leaves lol altho she said she wouldn’t. 

Surprisingly that scene’s only about a minute.  We cut over to who probably are our villains, doing some bow and arrow practice.  The leader catches the arrows aimed at him out of the air.  This is Draco. ( sp?) 

Ok this is super disjointed because Xena just walks in to the camp, which I imagined was a distance away from the previous scene.  Xena and Draco have fair chemistry and a little innuendo.  Xena asks him to spare the villagers, which he considers, and agrees to.  He seems to be in love with Xena…and it might be mutual?  Okay.  Xena refuses him though because she is going home, wherever that is.  Something Draco warns her against.  Are they old frenemies or friends from when she used to be evil or what? 

So yeah predictably Gabrielle is sneaking away from the village and lol she’s clumsy and trips over something heavy.  Didn’t expect that, it was quite funny.  Gabrielle claims to want to go off and be a warrior to her sister – who wakes up and tries to stop her – but it seems she doesn’t have much aptitude there.  Ultimately her sister lets her go without raising the alarm.  Personally, Gabrielle’s cute, but I don’t really know why she’s going – she seems to not have much skills to offer Xena as a sidekick, maybe even being a liability. 

Ok, the disjointedness continues and it feels like maybe this pilot was trying to cram in as much as possible to show off what this world would be like.  Xena, now travelling by horse in the middle of nowhere, runs into I shit you not, a giant man who swings a club at her right away.  They seem to have history, she’s blinded (!)  him already.  Wow. 

Anyway she drops his trousers and drops him to the ground.  It’s a bit comedic but not really super funny.  This pilot is fun but it’s a hot mess tbh.  Xena passes on. 

And right away next we have Gabrielle in the same area chattering away to herself.  The giant is back right away and catches her in a cage.  Despite being blind he knows what she looks like…okay, whatever.  Gabrielle first claims to be a friend of Xena’s but then an enemy of hers when the giant doesn’t take that well, claiming to be hunting her to kill her.  Because “she wouldn’t let a man close enough to DO her, but an innocent young girl like me…” and wow is this even subtext already?  He lets her out, so, she’s smart and able to think on her feet, the brains to Xena’s brawn, maybe? 

And we’re onto another action scene.  The goons from before are tracking Xena.  She ambushes them with some nifty acrobatic fighting moves and pressure point use (a bit martial arts for the period, no?  wax on, wax off!)  and interrogates to find out that Draco sent them and plans to attack her home. ( We don’t get into whys)

Immediate scene cut to Gabrielle’s B plot: she’s laid herself out in the middle of the road waiting for someone to NOT run her over and give her a ride.  In their horse and cart, of course.  This time she outright lies to try and get a ride, but ultimately lands on by chance the thing that will work, a common interest with the driver who stops and talks with her.  He’s happy to lift her to the city she wants to go to even though she lied to him before about having a rich father who’d pay him at the other end.  Takes all sorts, I guess. 

Back to Xena.  Her home seems to be a bigger-ish village, but not particularly mystical or anything or godly. 

She goes to see her mother who near immediately pulls a sword on her, okay, so complicated relationship there then.  Another thing to be thrown at the wall. 

Mommie dearest believes Xena is a villain, a threat, and dangerous.  So not such a happy reunion then? 

Xena has come to warn them that the warlord, Draco, is coming to attack them.  She wants to defend them, with their help to raise an army, but her mother and the townsfolk refuse, not wanting to risk their lives – again.  They have no loyalty to her and previously it’s implied she was reckless and responsible for many deaths of her own people. 

Skip over to Draco.  Some more (cartoony) violence as he does battle with an underling, who later tries to kill him.  We get some ACTUAL violence too as he throws a knife at the underling and actually gets a killshot in the chest! ( No blood or guts tho but still…)

Back to Xena, it may be the morning after?  She’s still stayed in her mother’s house.  Xena now suggests that the townspeople flee, if they won’t fight, but that is not well received. 

(So an aside, it’s interesting that Xena’s story reads somewhat like one of addiction.  She swears she’s ‘clean’ or good now, repented, and wants to make amends and be a better person, but no-one will believe her.  Here, her mother doesn’t believe she’s come back to defend them or to help, and actually disowns her as a daughter – its implied, after this happening before in the past.  Intense.) 

Interesting that everyone claims Xena has an army when she seems thus far to have been an intensely lone operator. 

The townsmen come in and try and outcast Xena.  They claim that HER army is riding to attack the village now. ( Subterfuge from Draco?  Townsmen themselves having a grudge and lying?)  Noting that there are women here too among the confronting townspeople, good to be realistic, women aren’t a minority!  Xena switches tack and offers them to fight her, mass to one, as revenge now.  They draw back, but a woman throws a rock at her and then they begin pelting her from the sidelines.  Suddenly, Gabrielle! ( Where was she hiding?  She bursts through the crowd from whereabouts unknown!) 

Ahhh, and this is why Gabrielle is useful.  She will use her words here to convince the people that Xena is changed.  She’s able to bring to bear lots of different reasons, cleanly switching tack, as to why they should at least, if not trusting Xena, work with her and not kill her…what will happen to them if they kill Draco’s ally, etc.,  if Xena IS as bad as they claim… (Again with the drug parallels, it’s suggested the self-destructive Xena would have just let them kill herif that was what fate decreed…)

(Sidenote – Xena is clearly raging that Gabrielle showed up.  Gabrielle is able to bait her into taking her along tho by pointing out that she owes her for just saving her life.  They ride off, sharing Xena’s horse now….just leaving the townspeople to it I guess?!) 

10 mins to go, will we have a big battle scene?  We’re apparently going to see Xena’s brother…who may or may not be dead! 

We have a touching monologue with Xena and the coffin, dark and candlelit.  The mother’s reticence if she’s already lost one child makes more sense.  Xena shows some humanity, admitting its hard to be alone – at which point Gabrielle pops in round the corner and tells her she’s not. ( It’s more than a little slashy!) 

Skip to the village.  The villagers have tried to appease Draco by surrendering and offering to supply the warlord.  He asks for Xena, but he tells him she’s not here.  Shit is starting to go down for the villagers, not a good answer, when suddenly!  Xena appears behind him with an anachronistic dramatic!backlight. 

Once again Draco propositions her (christ, guys really can’t take a hint!)  to join with him – is that an innuendo?  and hmm, he is a bit of a devil on her shoulder isn’t he.  There’s no doubt a psychoanalytic reading of this. 

They decide to have a duel to decide whether she will join him or not.  This is I have to say pretty cool for the 90s and for the fantastic time period its in.  I love that Xena just IS a warrior without anyone questioning a WOMAN being a warrior. 

We have a cool battle scene on a bamboo walkway, high above the watching crowd.  Xena vs Draco, but with Draco’s archers in the background.  Think we see a scene from the opening credits here and also, is Lucy doing her own stunts? 

It’s very Gladiators. 

So the walkway gets destroyed, ending up with Xena balancing on the struts that held it up and Draco standing on the crowd’s HEADS – they had agreed the first one to touch the ground loses. 

Xena jumps into the crowd too, standing on shoulders, and lol this is cracky but what the hell!  The crowd is now notably supporting Xena. 

Draco’s goons try and help him but after this has happened a few times, Gabrielle trips the helper.  The duel ends with Xena winning, convincingly landing on top of Draco, still having not yet touched the ground.  On pain of death, in front of the crowd, he swears to leave her & the village alone.  One of his men then tries to stab her, but Draco himself throws a knife into his chest to stop him – “a deal’s a deal”.  Honourable villain then, to foil Xena’s neutral good hero. 

Aftermath: Xena’s mother agrees to forgive her, and hugs her.  A scene of just the two of them alone.  The townspeople NOW offer Xena an army, but she declines – she doesn’t want or need one. 

Cut to later, in the forest.  Xena is alone again…but Gabrielle again joins her, she’s followed her.  She makes a rueful joke, and then we get some nice queer subtext – Gabrielle’s not the little girl (who was marrying a MAN) her parents want her to be.  This time, Xena lets Gabrielle stay, after some protest, and gives her a blanket. 

One more cut, and it’s the next day.  Xena and Gabrielle, walking into the sunrise, on a clear green field, blue sky, off for a new adventure. ( Once again, it is AWESOME how throughout the show no-one has remarked that this might be unusual.)  Xena questions why Gabrielle would want to put herself in danger and Gabrielle replies its what friends do, which Xena is gruffly pleased by and accepts.  Bless! 

Okay, wow, well that was Xena episode 1.  Talk about a busy pilot!  But also a lot of good stuff going on there alongside the mess. 

I feel like lots was stuffed in here at once to really push (on a Doylist level) the scope of the show.  This will be a fantasy show – so let’s show all the fantasy bits we can stick in and really give a sense of the world as is to get people hooked on seeing more of it.  A very 1990s approach I think, maybe even influenced by a tail end of the 80s.  Production values are moderate, but not I imagine what they might reach, I get the feeling this – as a spinoff, right? –  was a risk to fund in the first place so they would reserve judgement to see how audiences reacted.  For that reason it’s quite mixed audience/family friendly, while still doing a little to subvert gender and even hetero-norms, with its unashamed female lead AND sidekick, no hint of male love interest (except the frenemy thing Xena and Draco have going on) and focus on elements aimed at women of the time like family and friendship, alongside long, extended and complex fightscenes and a bit of humour. 

Although they’ve managed to come up with a great role for her and justified it due to the setting, I do find myself questioning how much mileage Gabrielle has as a brainy non-combatant.  Are we going to have a team develop, perhaps?  Xena’s fights have been competent, but she’s come close to getting in trouble a few times, and if she has a civilian to protect too this will be harder on her, especially as she fights with melee weapons rather than anything ranged.  Perhaps we’ll see Gabrielle take up archery or something to move to compensate. ( Or is she also a pacifist?  If so we’ll need some very clever writing to maneuver around that!) 

I feel like this show runs at least four seasons with the same leads though, so I’m sure they’ll manage somehow.  Though I think Xena gets another sidekick at some point…I’m sure I’ve seen gifs of her with a shorthaired girl too later on. (?) 

What do I expect will come from the show going forward?  Good question!  I would anticipate that after season 1 we start to aim at a slightly older audience and go a bit darker, maybe a few seasons in.  I’m going to estimate that season 1 is episodic but later seasons go for full-season or multi-episode arcs with all the 90s style TO BE CONTINUEDs that that will necessitate!  At some point, either one (or both!maybe alternating?)  of our leading ladies will probably get some kind of male love interest – or interests that they can’t get away from, stalkers or whatever, as the audience would expect that and idk when the lesbian periphery demo came in as a major fanbase.  No doubt the writers will play on queer subtext tho, just like in other shows with a similar impact.  e.g. Rizzoli and Isles which was sometimes VERY close to the bone there! 

As I said at the top, I’ll be continuing with Xena for a few episodes here and there rather than a full run, so I look forward to seeing what develops.  Did I like this episode?  I did, though it was QUITE of its time and bordered on Power Rangers unintentional humour at points.  I was expecting at some point Rita Repulsa to pop up! 

Please let me know if there’s anything I should be looking out for, any episodes you think I should be covering, cameos, or any fun trivia that doesn’t spoil the seasons coming up!  I’m always here for a bit of lesbiarrific escapist adventure & I can see this becoming something of a comfort show.  As pilots go…yes, this wasn’t wonderful, tho it was FUN, so I can’t give it a massive score, but it’s a solid 6/10, maybe 6.5 with that great acting and performances by the leads, with strong potential to improve.  Good concepts, but slightly messy execution and the inclusion of lots and lots of cuts and some odd non-sequiturs like the giant interlude story pull it down.  Next up, I’ll be looking at S1 episode 15, Warrior…Princess! ( Unless anyone can recommend an earlier one that I MUST NOT skip!) 

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