"Hi, there.  it's me, Pigeon Toady." " Here are my two best friends in the world to show you how to change a baby." " Er..." "Yeah." " We're actually more just work-friends." "( LAUGHS) Great joke, best friend." " First, grab the baby's legs with one hand." "  He doesn't know anything about babies." "  What are you talking about?" "( EXCLAIMING)" "Oh, my gosh." " Are you okay?" " Now, apply moisture-repelling ointment." " Put point B to point C, and now you're done." " That was easy." " Literally didn't do anything." " Sometimes babies get hungry." " Trust me, I know." " Hand me the baby." "( EXCLAIMS)" "Hi, baby." "( EXCLAIMING)" " Do you want help or..." " Hard pass." " Okay." "( GRUNTING)" "Seriously, we don't have a smaller baby?" "  Hey, don't forget to burp him." "  Come on." " Pat, pat, pat." " Oh, gross." " Another day is finished." " Time to sleep, baby." " Close those eyes, baby." " Here's a blanket." " WOLVES:" "Aw!" " She made the noise." " Let's try a baby swing." "( SINGING) This is the sleep song Babies must sleep" "You must sleep Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep" "(SNORING)" "Uh, how many takes are we gonna do?" " This is like regular Kubrick over here." "  Yeah, without the talent." "  Hello." " In conclusion, I'm a great parent and you can be, too." " Hey, check this out, baby." "( YELLS) What is wrong with you?" " Come on, baby." " Let's go get some coffee." " You can have an espresso." " They come in little, perfect, tiny baby cups." " Wait, no!" " Babies don't drink coffee." " Stay away from my camera!" " I don't want people getting the wrong impression!" " I am making a movie for the lnternet." " Whoa." " The Internet loves Pigeon Toady." "( LAUGHS) Told you." " I told all of you." " Awesome."