iwylin/imbue_dearman_expert_annotations huggingface dataset:
Situation (family): My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often.
Message: Having a drink doesn't mean I don't agree with it.  I drink too.  Doesn't me an you have to get defensive about it.  Right?
Expert skill ratings — Describe: Weak; Express: No; Assert: Weak; Reinforce: No; Negotiate: No; Appear Confident: Yes; Stay Mindful: No
Describe — suggestion: Try to stick to the facts instead of your feelings about the facts (related to drinking)
Describe — rewrite: I drink too. I've noticed that you've been staying out late at night and drinking more frequently than usual which is unusual for you, so I wanted to check in and make sure that everything's going ok.  Doesn't me an you have to get defensive about it.  Right?
Assert — suggestion: Try to ask your brother more directly to make it clear what you wish for him to do in this situation (open up and talk to you more) rather than making a generalized statement about what he "should" be doing.
Assert — rewrite: Having a drink doesn't mean I don't agree with it.  I drink too. I don't want you to feel like you can't come to me for support when you're feeling stressed. I want to make sure that you feel like you always have someone to talk to when you need it, regardless of what it's about.
Reinforce — suggestion: You can consider using the "Reinforce" strategy here to help solidify the negative outcome that you want to avoid by not being able to talk to your brother about his life
Reinforce — rewrite: Having a drink doesn't mean I don't agree with it.  I drink too.  Doesn't me an you have to get defensive about it.  Right? You're my brother and I care a lot about you, so I would feel so sad if you felt like you couldn't come to me in these situations.
Stay Mindful — suggestion: Don't get distracted by your brother's defensiveness -- that isn't the goal to be addressed in this conversation. Bring it back to your goal of discussing his drinking and behavior recently
Situation (family): My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often.
Message: I was your age too and I was worse.  Would you agree?
Expert skill ratings — Describe: Weak; Express: No; Assert: No; Reinforce: No; Negotiate: No; Appear Confident: Yes; Stay Mindful: No
Describe — suggestion: You can elaborate on the facts to ensure that you and your brother are on the same page about what you're talking about in the past
Describe — rewrite: I hear you, I was your age too and I spent many more nights out partying and drinking with friends and also didn't want to feel like other people were judging me. 
Reinforce — suggestion: You can consider using the "Reinforce" strategy here as a way of connecting to and validating your brother's emotions, while also explaining what positive consequences you expect and hope for him by being able to talk to you.
Reinforce — rewrite: I was your age too and I was worse. This is why I really want to make sure that you feel like you can come talk to me -- I've been in your shoes and know how lonely it can feel, and the last thing I want is for you to feel that way too. 
Stay Mindful — suggestion: Try not to get distracted into talking about your own history of drinking and partying -- the focus of this conversation is your brother and his current behavior
Situation (family): My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often.
Message: I was. You're never been arrested at least.  So yeah I've had it worse.
Expert skill ratings — Describe: No; Express: No; Assert: No; Reinforce: No; Negotiate: No; Appear Confident: Yes; Stay Mindful: No
Negotiate — suggestion: You can consider using the "Negotiate" strategy here to help your brother feel like you're collaborating and coming up with a solution together that helps him feel comfortable
Negotiate — rewrite: I hear you that you don't want to feel like you're being patronized or that someone is trying to tell you that you're wrong and that they know better. I don't want to make you feel this way when we talk about serious things. Is there a way that I could approach these conversations differently that would make you feel more comfortable and supported? 
Stay Mindful — suggestion: Don't get distracted into talking about your own history and bringing up another topic about getting arrested -- refocus onto your goal regarding your brother
Situation (family): My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often.
Message: I wasn't arguing at all. And I didn't get defensive. Why so negative?
Expert skill ratings — Describe: No; Express: No; Assert: No; Reinforce: No; Negotiate: No; Appear Confident: Yes; Stay Mindful: No
Express — suggestion: I can see that you are trying to express confusion. It is important to express our feelings directly rather than say "Why so negative", which could escalate the argument.
Express — rewrite: I am a bit confused and frustrated by the situation. I'm wondering if there is anything going on in you life that led you to drinking and staying out more lately and I am here for you if you are open to sharing with me what's been going on. 
Assert — suggestion: it is important to keep coming back to your ask to keep orienting the conversation back to what you need.
Assert — rewrite: I am a bit confused and frustrated by the situation. I'm wondering if there is anything going on in you life that led you to drinking and staying out more lately and I am here for you if you are open to sharing with me what's been going on. 
Stay Mindful — suggestion: Don't get distracted into arguing about "he said/she said" or your brother's negativity and redirect to your goals
Situation (family): My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often.
Message: I'm actually smiling because I find it funny. I was just trying to be friendly. 
Expert skill ratings — Describe: No; Express: Weak; Assert: No; Reinforce: No; Negotiate: No; Appear Confident: Yes; Stay Mindful: No
Express — suggestion: You should try to express the motivation behind your actions in a more specific way that relates to your goals
Express — rewrite: I understand that you don't want to have a conversation that feels tense or negative. I feel the same way a lot of the time and worry that I don't give you enough opportunities to come to me about these sorts of things. 
Assert — suggestion: We want to keep the goal of our conversation at all times so remember to use assert to redirect the conversation back to your ask.
Assert — rewrite: I'm actually smiling because I find it funny. I was just trying to be friendly. I really want you to be able to come to me when you're feeling unsure or you just need someone to talk to.Ê
Stay Mindful — suggestion: Don't get distracted by talking about why you said things a certain way or why you found something funny, instead reorient towards your main goal
Situation (family): My brother has been going out a lot lately and my mom has been telling me that he's coming home drunk often.
Message: I appreciate that.  You should never be defensive about anything. No matter what anyone says, I'll ALWAYS be on your side first.  No matter what it is.
Expert skill ratings — Describe: No; Express: Weak; Assert: No; Reinforce: Strong; Negotiate: No; Appear Confident: Yes; Stay Mindful: Yes
Express — suggestion: Try to phrase your statements in "I want" (first-person) rather than "you should" (second-person)
Express — rewrite: I appreciate that. I never want you to feel like you can't come to me or that you need to be defensive when talking to me. No matter what anyone says, I'll ALWAYS be on your side first.  No matter what it is.