instruction:
In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
question:
"
what 's your favorite new york moment ? "
" this one 's climbing the charts .
" starring john cusack , kate beckinsale , eugene levy , molly shannon .
directed by peter chelsom .
rated pg-13 .
there 's no doubt that 95 % of romantic comedies follow a distinct pattern
: guy sees girl , guy wants girl , guy goes through unreasonable obstacles to get girl , guy gets girl .
in rare cases , the genders are flipped .
predictability is a given .
rarely , though , is a romantic comedy as cheap , as obvious , or as pointless as serendipity , a film that uses its " theme " as an excuse for its plot contrivances .
" lightweight " does n't begin to describe it .
this is like anti - gravity .
it begins in a new york city bloomingdale 's , a product placement that rivals cast away 's fedex for sheer blatancy .
jonathan trager ( john cusack ) and sara thomas ( kate beckinsale ) both go for the same pair of gloves .
after going through the perfunctory motions , jonathan gets to keep the gloves and the two of them go out for ice cream , followed by ice skating .
jonathan falls hard , and sara is charmed . when she writes her name and number down on a piece of paper , a truck rumbles by and blows it out of her hand .
she takes this as a sign from fate that they should n't be together ; jonathan is flabbergasted . to pacify him , she comes up with an idea : jonathan will write his number on a 5 dollar bill , which she will promptly spend .
when she gets home , she will write her name and number inside a book ( " love in the time of cholera " ) and sell it to a used bookstore .
if the bill gets back to her or the book to him , it will mean that they are meant to be together .
three years later .
both sara and jonathan are now engaged to other love interests .
both realize they are n't content .
both go looking for the other .
what happens now is so absurd that i 'm almost tempted to recommend the film for the sake of seeing it .
the two of them run circles around each other in a set of incredible " coincidences " that i would describe as contrivances if it were n't for the film
oh - so - cleverly dismissing that criticism by building its plot around " serendipity .
"
of course , since the movie is about fate , the screenwriter can do anything he damn well pleases .
i 'm not buying it .
there 's no suspense in any of this because we know exactly what 's going to happen , but serendipity insists on drilling its purportedly " adorable " non - story into our heads .
instead of " will they meet ?
"
the question we 're asking is " when will they meet already ? " to make matters worse , every " coincidence " is telegraphed from a mile away ; by the last reel
i was bored enough to actively look for signs that something else " incredible " was going to happen .
cusack is fine and beckinsale , at least , is n't saddled with another lumbering , clunky screenplay ( she 's had bad luck , what with brokedown palace and pearl harbor on her resume ) , just an inanely pointless one .
serendipity also relieves the tedium with the amazing eugene levy , who plays a snarky bloomingdale 's salesman .
what 's the interest in watching a movie that spirals around and around a predestined
( no pun intended ) conclusion ?
serendipity wants to tug at the heartstrings , but it only tests our patience .
answer:
N


question:
bad .
bad .
bad .
that one word seems to pretty much sums up beyond the valley of the dolls .
if that summary is n't enough for you , how about t&a , t&a , t&a ?
still have n't got the point ?
other than director russ meyer 's predilection for casting attractive large breasted women who ultimately expose the afore - mentioned anatomical areas , there is really only one other reason to recommend even taking a look at this movie .
that is the fact that it was co - written by famed film critic roger ebert , who also was responsible for the screenplay .
after watching this movie you will never be able to sit through another one of his reviews where he gives a movie a thumbs down for bad writing with a straight face .
this movie stinks out loud .
quite frankly , this movie deserves a .
but there are parts of it that are so bad they are almost funny .
so i 'm giving it a .
and maybe that is too generous .
right from the opening credits , i knew that i had a class - a bomb on my hands .
not only are the way the credits actually shot distracting , but the first scene you see includes a big breasted young woman being chased by a guy in a nazi uniform .
i had absolutely no idea why the hell that was happening ( it does get explained later ) and as soon as the first scene is over , we cut to a completely unrelated scene .
to be honest , as i sat through this movie mesmerized by just how incredibly awful it was
, i actually forgot about the seemingly out of place opening until it popped up again later in the film .
with the quality of the writing during the rest of the film , it would n't have surprised me if the opening had never been explained .
so what is this movie about ?
you ask .
like it really matters .
ok , here goes .
this all - girl band headed by kelly macnamara ( dolly reed ) and her friends go to hollywood to try to gain a foothold in the music industry .
once there , they do manage to find success ( due as much to their hooters as anything else ?
it sure was n't for their brutally bad singing voices ) , and the movie chronicles how their lives change for the worse as the pressures of fame get to them .
everything from big egos , to booze and drugs to free flowing sex sends them on a downward spiral .
there are a couple of other idiotic subplots thrown in for good measure , but the fame is the one that pretty much sums up this thing .
> from a creative standpoint
there is nothing redeeming here .
other than the above - mentioned obsession with big knockers that russ meyer seemed to have .
the dialogue is so incredibly bad that it literally is funny in parts .
mr .
ebert has generously thrown in helpings of " hey man " , " dig " and my all time favorite -- " this is my happening , and it freaks me out " .
now i ask you , with lines like that how can you go wrong ?
ebert had tried to inject as many big words as possible into the dialogue .
maybe he thought it would make the movie seem smarter .
i do n't know , but all the big words in the world would n't be able to disguise the bad writing and even worse acting .
but the wretched dialogue goes along well with the wretched quality of everything else in this movie .
i 've seen home movies directed better than meyer managed with this turkey .
in fact , there is one scene -- the one in which they are in a van driving to hollywood to make their fortunes -- during which i really had to question if meyer or his editors had just suffered serious head injuries .
add to the directing and writing the music in this movie .
i almost got up to check my sound system to see if it was broken , there was such a pile of crap emanating from the speakers .
then we have the cast .
first lets start david gurian who played harris , the manager of the band .
this has got to be the goofiest looking guy that has ever set foot in front of a motion picture camera .
sadly , his acting does n't come close to making up for his looks . if you have been following along up to this point , this should n't surprise you .
meyer 's stable of well endowed girls also have the benefit of being fairly attractive to go along with their other assets .
dolly reed plays kelly , the leader of the band .
and no surprise here , she was cast for her cup size , not her talents .
and yes , she does loose the shirt a few times and display her impressive talents .
sadly , her ass is almost as large as her chest .
hey , it a sexist movie , so i 'm writing a sexist review .
then we have former playboy playmate cynthia myers in a fairly small role as casey , one of the other band members .
this goes along with the rest of the idiotic thinking in the movie .
meyer casts a gorgeous playmate with a rack to kill for and who obviously has no acting talent at all , but her nude scenes are the biggest disappointment of all .
sure russ , now is the time to get artsy and throw in some well placed shadows .
on the up side , she does have a fun lesbo scene .
i sound like i 'm writing a review in a porn magazine .
but hey , i 'll admit it ; the only reason that i actually managed to sit through this damn movie was to catch a look at cynthia myers naked . and since
that was a huge disappointment , i pretty much wasted two hours of my life on this turkey .
the only thing that i can say about this movie is that you should stay away from it .
unless of course you want to feel good about yourself by knowing that even a pulitzer prize winning film critic like roger ebert has screwed up at least once in his life too .
and if you are thinking of checking it out for the double d 's -- you are better off just downloading nude cynthia myers
pictures off the internet .
this is a movie that should be avoided at all costs .
an even better idea might be to require video stores to place a warning on the box of beyond the valley of the dolls
-- beware : this movie is extremely hazardous to your common sense .
proceed with extreme caution .
answer:
N


question:
dr . alan grant ( sam neill , " jurassic park " ) is becoming disillusioned .
paleontology is no longer the sexy science it once was since the ingen corporation cloned his subject matter .
his lectures bring people interested in his adventures on isla nubla rather than his research and funding dollars are drying up .
when the kirbys ( william
h. macy , " fargo " ; tea leoni , " the family man " ) ask him to be their guide for an anniversary flyover of isla sorna ( the notorious site b of " the lost world " )
he 's disdainful , but once they wave their checkbook , he reconsiders .
however the kirbys have n't given dr .
grant their real agenda in " jurassic park iii .
"
of course , we , the audience , have been tipped off , given that the film begins by showing us eric ( trevor morgan , " the patriot " ) , a young boy , and ben ( mark harelik , " election " ) going for a paragliding adventure off that same island that goes awry ( and looks like cheesy rear projection ) .
grant 's established back home with a new right hand man , billy brennan ( alessandro nivola ,
" love 's labour 's lost " ) on site at a dig in montana sorely lacking funds .
he also pays a visit to old flame dr .
ellie sattler ( laura dern , " jurassic park " ) , now married to another with a young son who calls grant ' the dinosaur man ' apparently for the sole purpose of dredging her up again for the film 's poorly imagined finale .
grant takes billy along on the kirbys trip , which is really an illegal gambit to save their son , that young paraglider .
the couple are n't millionaires , making grant 's check bogus , and they 're separated as well
( eric was with amanda 's new boyfriend , not that that makes much sense ) , meaning we 're in for some gooey family dynamics while waiting for the dino dining .
the kirbys hired hands ( and obvious bait ) are a threesome led by mr .
udesky ( michael jeter , " the gift " ) .
( did n't anyone consider that casting michael jeter and william h. macy together and not having them be related was a little odd ? )
as directed by joe johnston ( " october sky , " " jumanji " ) ( spielberg only produced this one ) from a risible script by peter buchman and the " election " team of alexander payne & jim taylor , " jurassic park iii " is nothing more than a quickie monster flick with a couple of new dinos ( a spinosauraus , which goes head to head with the t - rex , and pteranodons ) .
the plot , as it were , is a series of coincidences combined with extreme leaps of faith and a trifecta of stupid cell phone tricks .
the effects are no longer new , and , as shot by television cinematographer shelly johnson , rather murky looking at times .
film editing by robert dalva ( " october sky " ) was presumably done by machete , to keep this down to a 90 minute run time .
i know of no other reason to explain the ridiculous ending which features the survivors confronting a pack of raptors , then being saved by the most ludicrous of logic jumps within a few minutes . '
original ' music by don davis just repeats john williams ' original themes .
while neill and young morgan attempt to inject some humor and humanity into the proceedings , the rest of the cast are plodding unexceptional .
" jurassic park iii " will probably provide some quick entertainment for those who go into it knowing what to expect , the same crowd who maybe liked " the lost world : jurassic park .
"
answer:

N