TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: "
what 's your favorite new york moment ? "
" this one 's climbing the charts .
" starring john cusack , kate beckinsale , eugene levy , molly shannon .
directed by peter chelsom .
rated pg-13 .
there 's no doubt that 95 % of romantic comedies follow a distinct pattern
: guy sees girl , guy wants girl , guy goes through unreasonable obstacles to get girl , guy gets girl .
in rare cases , the genders are flipped .
predictability is a given .
rarely , though , is a romantic comedy as cheap , as obvious , or as pointless as serendipity , a film that uses its " theme " as an excuse for its plot contrivances .
" lightweight " does n't begin to describe it .
this is like anti - gravity .
it begins in a new york city bloomingdale 's , a product placement that rivals cast away 's fedex for sheer blatancy .
jonathan trager ( john cusack ) and sara thomas ( kate beckinsale ) both go for the same pair of gloves .
after going through the perfunctory motions , jonathan gets to keep the gloves and the two of them go out for ice cream , followed by ice skating .
jonathan falls hard , and sara is charmed . when she writes her name and number down on a piece of paper , a truck rumbles by and blows it out of her hand .
she takes this as a sign from fate that they should n't be together ; jonathan is flabbergasted . to pacify him , she comes up with an idea : jonathan will write his number on a 5 dollar bill , which she will promptly spend .
when she gets home , she will write her name and number inside a book ( " love in the time of cholera " ) and sell it to a used bookstore .
if the bill gets back to her or the book to him , it will mean that they are meant to be together .
three years later .
both sara and jonathan are now engaged to other love interests .
both realize they are n't content .
both go looking for the other .
what happens now is so absurd that i 'm almost tempted to recommend the film for the sake of seeing it .
the two of them run circles around each other in a set of incredible " coincidences " that i would describe as contrivances if it were n't for the film
oh - so - cleverly dismissing that criticism by building its plot around " serendipity .
"
of course , since the movie is about fate , the screenwriter can do anything he damn well pleases .
i 'm not buying it .
there 's no suspense in any of this because we know exactly what 's going to happen , but serendipity insists on drilling its purportedly " adorable " non - story into our heads .
instead of " will they meet ?
"
the question we 're asking is " when will they meet already ? " to make matters worse , every " coincidence " is telegraphed from a mile away ; by the last reel
i was bored enough to actively look for signs that something else " incredible " was going to happen .
cusack is fine and beckinsale , at least , is n't saddled with another lumbering , clunky screenplay ( she 's had bad luck , what with brokedown palace and pearl harbor on her resume ) , just an inanely pointless one .
serendipity also relieves the tedium with the amazing eugene levy , who plays a snarky bloomingdale 's salesman .
what 's the interest in watching a movie that spirals around and around a predestined
( no pun intended ) conclusion ?
serendipity wants to tug at the heartstrings , but it only tests our patience .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: nicolas cage comes up with an ingenious survival mechanism for his role in the wink - and - a - concussive - nudge bombast - o - rama con air .
the opening credits sequence introduces us to cage as cameron poe , a gulf war veteran convicted of manslaughter and serving eight years in prison after an ill - fated bar - room brawl .
the prison scenes are accompanied by voice - overs in which poe , in a languid southern drawl , describes prison life to his wife back home and offers simple homilies for the daughter he has never met .
if the scene gives you a tickle of familiarity , it probably should .
cage appears to realize that con air is going to be utterly dim - witted and ridiculous , and that he 's going to have to do something to keep himself entertained .
and thus he slips into a familiar , surreal role as his own commentary on the proceedings -- cage plays cameron poe as a buffed - up version of raising arizona 's h .
i .
mcdonnough .
cage should have known what he was getting himself into .
he got a paycheck from jerry bruckheimer last year for the rock , and if there 's one thing you can count on from a bruckheimer production ( even without his late partner don simpson ) , it 's that you can count on seeing everything you saw in the _ last _ bruckheimer production .
the critical difference between the rock and con air is cage 's performance .
in the rock , cage appeared to be having the time of his life jumping into the action fray for the first time .
that sense of discovery has been replaced by a wry self - awareness .
while the plot of con air finds poe a parolee on board a hijacked prison transport plane whose goal is just to get home , cage 's goal is different but just as simple : to get out of the film with some measure of dignity intact .
audiences , too , should know what they 're getting themselves into with a bruckheimer production .
in fact , the marketing people are counting on it .
no one who loathed the rock for its swear - grunt - blast repetitiveness will be converted by con air ; no one who loved the rock for exactly the same reasons will be dissuaded .
director simon west ( yet another tv commercial auteur plucked by bruckheimer from the advertising equivalent of the schwab 's soda fountain )
delivers exactly the kind of adrenaline / testosterone cocktail which could launch an endocrinology lecture
( it 's perversely appropriate that one sympathetic con spends most of the flight nearing a diabetic coma ; like insulin , con air does the work of a gland ) .
what he does n't deliver is a moment of suspense .
a bruckheimer film has no use for hitchcock 's notion that showing you the bomb under the desk creates a more interesting scene than just blowing up the desk ; a really , _ really _ big desk and a really , _ really _ big bomb will serve the purpose nicely .
if either west or bruckheimer were interested in genuine tension , they might have done something with con air 's creepiest set - up .
at a desert stop for the plane - load of convicts , serial killer garland greene ( steve buscemi )
wanders of into a trailer park where he meets a little girl having a tea party in a drained swimming pool .
their tete - a - tete is eerie and menacing , providing a welcome shift in tone and giving buscemi a chance to stand out in a cast with too many villains ( danny trejo , ving rhames and a characteristically reptilian john malkovich among them ) .
in fact , con air usually opts for too much of something when the tiniest measure of restraint would have been an improvement -- too many characters , too much editing , too many dopey punch lines , too much of the cheap , ugly appeals to machismo which characterize too many bruckheimer efforts .
it is that kind of exhausting excess to which cage is responding with his detached performance .
while malkovich goes for the outrageous and john cusack ( as a u . s . marshal )
goes for
earnest , cage looks like he just wants to go to sleep .
his recycled raising arizona performance is a means of escape , his chase after a stuffed bunny a continuation of his pursuit of that big box of huggies .
it does n't bode well for cage 's appearance in face / off later this month ; perhaps he already realizes that all he can do in action films is more of the same over and over .
there 's a word for people like you , nicolas .
that word is called recidivist . . .
repeat offender .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: summer movies are , by nature , dumb affairs that are usually made for some quick enjoyment and to make money .
wild wild west , the latest will smith affair , follows much the same formula , except that it is dumber and less enjoying than most summer movies .
will smith plays jim west , a black sheriff with a nice line in sunglasses .
he is called by president grant ( kline ) to go on a mission to find out why top government scientists are disappearing .
west is paired up with scientist artemus gordon ( kline again ) and the two track the missing scientists to a legless mastermind , named dr .
loveless ( branagh , with a zany moustache . )
before i pile on with the many negatives in this sorry affair , i 'll give it a chance with the positives .
there 's a nice credit sequence , the production design by bo welch is pleasing to the eye , and the special effects are decent enough .
there 's also a pleasant soundtrack .
buried deep in the dross are one or two amusing jokes . and salma hayek pops up as the female interest , which is always nice to see .
apart from these factors , though , nothing else in wild wild west works .
firstly , there 's little chemistry between smith and kline , who appears to be in it purely for the money .
one would expect zingers passing between the two : none arise .
both of them plod through the below standard plot , knowing that there is a pay cheque waiting at the end .
not even kenneth branagh provides much entertainment
: although he is over the top , the material does n't present much opportunity for branagh to be truly crazy .
therefore , he just comes across as loud as obnoxious .
the only enjoyable performance comes from the sexy salma hayek , who is given so little screen time
it 's embarrassing .
she appears to be in the film to merely show off her body , and be ogled at by kline and smith .
her character also changes at a whim to fit the mechanics of the script , and there is no sense of realism about the character .
the ' humour ' in the film is also very off .
will smith put a little spin to his daft lines in men in black , here , not even smith could save the humour on display .
the script largely boils down to insults that are n't very funny
, and one - liners that barely raise a smirk .
it 's also somewhat racist , although it does n't intend to be , with one scene with jim west trying to wisecrack his way out of a lynching , and actually says slavery is good to save himself .
it 's not a funny scene , and the whole thing comes off rather uncomfortably .
the film also makes the tragic mistake that a man ( in this case kline ) in a dress is automatically unfunny , it is n't ,
but the wild wild west makes this joke even more painful to watch through pure ineptness .
there 's also problems with the plot .
jim west and artemus gordon get caught up in all kinds of sticky situations , but the way they get out of them are always unsatisfying , and rely purely on luck , rather than audience pleasing skill .
plot elements are introduced into the film , and then thrown away just as quickly .
the main piece of the story , a 80 foot mechanical , steam driven spider devised by loveless looks rather impressive , but there 's no particular reason why it should be built .
why not loveless build a great big tank , instead of an ungainly , fragile piece of machinery that 's just begging to be blown up ?
director barry sonnenfeld always has a breezy look to them , with some nice camera tricks , but even this is missing from this stilted affair .
wild wild west could have benefited from sonnenfelds whacked out style of directing , but not much of it is evident , making this film drag out even more .
it 's a sad thing when _ four _ ( credited ) screenwriters , a talented director and a willing star ca n't make a film work , and eventually wild wild west collapses under it 's sexist , mildly racist , unfunny weight .

SOLUTION:
N