TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: synopsis : melissa , a mentally - disturbed woman who likes to smoke , seduces doug , a minor - league baseball player who likes to study anatomy , work on motorcycles , and make out with his girlfriend in a public library .
when doug decides to stop seeing her , melissa maliciously takes revenge on those around him , including his girlfriend , his mother , and his cat .
comments : malicious , i suppose , is an acceptable moview for what it is : a cheap , b - movie thriller which rips off dozens and dozens of spurned - psycho - lover - who - wants - revenge films
( like fatal attraction , hand that rocks the cradle , etc . etc . ) that have come before it .
malicious , however , really does n't provide very many particularly suspenseful moments .
the plot starts off energetically enough , the main characters are introduced and the affair between doug and melissa begins and ends pretty early on in the film .
it starts to drag , unfortunately , after this .
melissa will obviously try to take her revenge on doug ( as always seems to happen in movies like these ) , but she does so in unimaginative ways that have been done in other , better thrillers before .
she drugs someone .
she kills a family pet and leaves it in the girlfriend 's apartment .
and , of course , she stalks ,
so we see a number of shots , which are supposed to be suspenseful , where she 's spying on doug and his girlfriend .
i wo n't reveal the ludicrous ending to this turkey , but i warn you that it 's both painfully obvious and a real yawner
.
john vernon does a remarkably good job at playing the not - so - bright baseball jock who initially gets swept away by melissa ( one of the script 's faults is to try to pass off a character like this as a pre - med student ) .
the same can not be said , though , for molly ringwald .
at times , she can effectively pull off the obsessed lover routine , especially during her silent , i'm - going - to - stare - you - down scenes .
at other times , however , she just seems somehow goofy and out of place .
in one particular scene which i guess was supposed to be suspenseful , she screeches " f --
k you , you b-----d " and throws a phone .
she delivers the line so ridiculously that one ca n't help but laugh
.
malicious certainly is n't the worst thriller of its kind out in the video racks ( a number of really fat turkies in this genre are out there ) , but it is n't all that good or original either .
feel free to treat this film maliciously , watch something else .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: after enduring mariah carey 's film debut , glitter , i 'm reminded of a bit from chris rock 's bigger and blacker .
in response to women saying that they can raise a child without a man , rock says , " you can drive a car with your feet , but that do n't mean it should be done .
" to that i say , you can give mariah carey a movie , but that certainly do n't mean it should be done .
sure , there are plenty of pop star film vehicles out there -- from the beatles ' a hard day 's night to the spice girls ' spice world -- but none have been so vapidly pointless or laughable as glitter .
everything about this complete tripe is ludicrous .
start off with the story , which -- as gruesomely predictable as it is -- is the least offensive part of the movie .
the film is inexplicably set in the 80s ,
a period piece that really shows no sign of its period except for a few chicks in leg warmers .
worse yet
, everyone 's speaking late 90s hip - hop slang in what should be 1983 .
meant to be partially autobiographical , carey plays billie frank , a young singer in new york who struggles to overcome a rough childhood and abandonment by her alcoholic mother .
influential club dj julian dice , a .
k . a .
" lucky 7
" ( max beesley playing a bad mix of puff daddy and robert de niro ) , hears her sing on a track , and decides to make her a star .
in predictably rapid succession , billie and dice fall for each other , she starts hitting it big , dice gets jealous and starts acting like an ass , and suddenly billie 's on " the roller coaster of superstardom .
" in the meantime , billie is on an emotional hunt for her missing mom .
i wo n't give away the ending , but -- honestly -- just think of unicorns and rainbows .
. .
you 'll figure it out .
the movie screams to be made with camp , and that could 've been fun .
but the filmmakers thought making the bulk of glitter weepy and dramatic would be better .
what a mistake .
the brief attempts at comic relief -- as in a scene where an effeminate russian - sounding director gets wacky with filming billie 's first music video -- go over like lead balloons .
instead , the audience at my screening tended to laugh loudest during mariah 's most dramatic scenes .
which brings us to the performances , of which there 's nothing good that can be said
.
mariah is primarily seen with a wide - eyed deer - in - the - headlights look frozen on her face .
she actually looks scared during her one love scene .
but you have to wonder if the writing is n't even worse .
so much of the dialogue is so hackneyed and watered down for carey 's virginal target audience that it 's probably impossible for any actor to pull it off with aplomb .
even the characters could n't have been written more absurdly .
they 're all members of a barbie playset : the important film director who swoons , " billie , i 'd love to put you in a movie i 'm making , " and the big - time record executive who takes billie 's demo tape and says , " oh , i 'll make sure the whole team listens to it in the morning .
" everyone in the film is a device , and it 's painful to keep watching just to see another one appear .
to say more would be a waste .
there 's so much wrong with this film .
and , it pains me that mariah carey -- with her ego and sanity in such fragile condition these days , as evidenced by her multiple hospital stays -- will have to suffer through all the negative reviews she 's likely to get .
but , then again , i had to suffer through her movie .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: disney cements their place in the forefront of feature animation with the release of their latest animated adventure , mulan .
while it adheres a bit too close to the disney formula to be perfect , it is nonetheless an entertaining film for both kids and adults .
fa mulan (
ming - na wen , singing :
lea salonga )
wants nothing more than to be a dutiful daughter and honor her family .
. .
it 's just that she does n't quite fit in with the chafing customs of her time .
while most girls her age are trying to quietly and demurely seek the approval of the local matchmaker ( miriam margoyles ) , mulan would prefer speaking her mind .
but there is trouble on the horizon .
the evil huns , led by shan - yu ( miguel ferrer ) , are invading china .
the emperor ( pat morita ) has decreed that each family must donate one man to serve in the army .
the only male in mulan 's family is her father , fa zhou ( soon - tek oh ) , who , old and with a bad leg , honorably accepts his fate .
mulan , on the other hand , decides to save her father 's life .
. . by secretly masquerading as a man and taking his place on the battlefield .
mulan , under the assumed name of ping , appears at camp where she , along with the other bumbling recruits , yao ( harvey fierstein ) , chien - po ( jerry tondo ) and ling ( gedde watanabe ) , are trained in the art of war by captain shang ( b .
d .
wong , singing :
donny osmond ) .
but she 's not alone in her tasks .
. .
in typical disney fashion , she has three animal companions : her horse khan , a lucky cricket crickey , and a pint - sized " guardian " dragon called mushu ( eddie murphy ) .
much like the gargoyles in the hunchback of notre dame , the humor in mulan is lukewarm and does n't flow well with the rest of the more serious story .
sure , some occasional comic relief is welcome , particularly in a film geared for the younger set , but mulan overdoes it .
the overdose of humor turns what could have been a powerfully great film into a good , but schizophrenic experience .
but , that commentary aside
, this is a very well made film ( which makes the formulaic additions all the more regrettable ) .
the animation is on par with some of disney 's best .
the story itself is interesting , and the action scenes are awe - inspiring .
the musical score to the film is enjoyable , though , as has been the case with disney 's recent work , the songs are mostly forgettable .
at least , we 're only subjected to four of them this time around .
mulan boasts the highest death toll of any disney cartoon to date .
most of the killing is off - screen and it 's all highly depersonalized ( there 's nothing to compare with the death of mufasa or bambi 's mom ) .
there 's nothing graphic , and the film resides snugly inside a g rating .
children will probably have more questions about the restrictive ancient customs than of the slaughter of armies .
it 's ironic that a film concerned with bucking tradition is hampered because of its strict adherence to disney tradition .
if the filmmakers had the guts to lessen the humor , ax the compulsory songs , and remove the obligatory ( and somewhat unrealistic ) romance , they could have had a classic on their hands .
instead , they merely deliver a very good time at the movies .

SOLUTION:
P