In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.

that 's exactly how long the movie felt to me .
there were n't even nine laughs in nine months .
it 's a terrible mess of a movie starring a terrible mess of a man , mr . hugh grant , a huge dork .
it 's not the whole oral - sex / prostitution thing ( referring to grant , not me ) that bugs me , it 's the fact that grant is annoying .
not just adam sandler - annoying , we 're talking jim carrey - annoying .
since when do
eye flutters and nervous smiles pass for acting ?
but , on the other hand , since when do really bad slapstick ( a fistfight in the delivery room culminating in grant 's head in joan cusack 's lap -- a scene he paid $ 60 to have included in the movie ) and obscene double entendres ( robin williams , the obstetrician , tells grant 's pregnant girlfriend she has " a big pussy , " referring of course to the size of the cat hairs on her coat , but nonetheless , grant paid $ 60 to have the exchange included in the movie ) pass for comedy ?
nine months is a predictable cookie - cutter movie with
no originality in humor or plot .
hugh grant plays a successful child psychiatrist .
why a child psychologist ?
so the scriptwriters could inject the following unfunny exchange :
kid : my dad 's an asshole .
grant ( flutters eyelashes , offers a nervous smile , then responds in his annoying english accent and i - think - i - actually - have- talent attitude ) : could you possibly elaborate on that ?
kid :
my dad 's a _ huge _ asshole .
more like a hugh asshole , but that 's beside the point , which is : nine months includes too many needlessly stupid jokes that get laughs from the ten year olds in the audience while everyone else shakes his or her head in disbelief .
so , anyway , grant finds out his girlfriend is pregnant and does his usual reaction ( fluttered eyelashes , nervous smiles ) .
this paves the way for every possible pregnancy / child birth gag in the book , especially since grant 's equally annoying friend 's wife is also pregnant .
the annoying friend is played by tom arnold , who provides most of the cacophonous slapstick , none of which is funny , such as a scene where arnold beats up a costumed " arnie the dinosaur " ( you draw your own parallels on that one ) in a toy store .
the only interesting character in the movie is played by jeff goldblum , who should have hid himself away somewhere after the dreadful hideaway , as an artist with a fear of ( and simultaneous longing for ) commitment .
not even robin williams , who plays a russian doctor who has recently decided to switch from veterinary medicine to obstetrics , has much humor .
his is a one - joke character--
the old foreign - guy - who - mispronounces - english stereotype ( did someone say yakov smirnov ?
that 's my favorite vodka , by the way ) , hence the line
" now it 's time to take a look at your volvo ,
" another nasty but unamusing joke , except this one goes right over the ten year olds ' heads , while the adults simultaneously groan .
nine months is a complete failure , low on laughs and intelligence and high on loud , unfunny slapstick , failed jokes and other uninspired lunacy .
hugh grant 's sunset boulevard arrest ( please , no caught - with - his - pants - down jokes ) may bring more people into the theaters , but they certainly wo n't leave with a smile on their faces , not after 90 minutes of grant 's nervous smiles .
everything in the movie is so forced , so unauthentic that anyone with an i .
q . over 80 ( sorry , hugh ) will know
they wasted their money on an unfulfilled desire .
but at least they did n't spend 60 bucks for it .
N

rated : r for strong language , sexual dialogue , drug use , crude humor , violence and brief nudity .
starring : ben affleck , matt damon , linda fiorentino , salma hayek , alan rickman , chris rock , kevin smith , jason mewes , jason lee , george carlin , alanis morissette .
running time : 130 minutes being a huge fan of kevin smith , i was expecting a lot out of his newest project ' dogma ' .
it might just be kevin 's best work to date .
it 's very funny with smart and foul - mouthed dialogue while unexpectedly it has a serious undertone to it and besides going against god and jesus christ , it actually tries to tell people that there is such a thing rather than that there is n't .
in 1994 a little $ 27 , 000 movie premiered at sundance .
this little film was called ' clerks ' and this little film went on to become a huge video sensation .
you really ca n't meet a person on this green earth who has not seen ' clerks ' .
it was hailed by critics as one of the best movies of the year and soon a sequel is coming .
in 1995 kevin made another movie ' mallrats ' that flopped horribly , thought it was not the best movie ever made it was a pretty good little flick .
it was panned by critics but hailed by audiences and in 1997 ' chasing amy ' came out and was kevin 's biggest success to date .
now in 1999 we get a great little movie by the name of ' dogma ' .
wow !
what a cast .
ok here is the plot in this movie : linda fiorentino plays a regular woman who works at an abortion clinic .
one day at her house metatron ( the voice of god ) appears at her house much to her surprise and tells her that she must stop two fallen angels ( matt damon and ben affleck ) from getting back into heaven by ways of a church .
ok now get this , she is told to find two prophets : one who talks a lot and one who does n't , however she gets jay and silent bob instead
( who give us great performances ) .
now on her way to new jersey with jay and silent bob to try and stop the two angels the 13th apostle falls out of the sky ( chris rock ) and helps guide her to find these angels .
salma hayek plays serendipity who also helps her out along her way .
azrael ( jason lee ) who is a demon is trying to help the two angels out so that they can win .
bethany ( linda fiorentino ) has to now use the help of all these people to try and stop the angels before they cheat their way back to heaven leading to a violent and bloody end that will make you think twice about your faith .
what a movie , it is everything rolled into one : an offensive , offbeat , smart and sassy comedy that surprisingly has a great message at the end , and ends up being a feel - good movie .
who would have known kevin had such a soft side on him that could make us know that he is a faithful person himself .
now for those of you who get offended with this movie really should not take it to heart .
yes it may target the catholic community and bash them a lot , but it also seems to rather than go against god and heaven , it actually goes with god and kevin gives a message that there is a god .
this review may sound confusing at first
but really the only way to understand it is to see this excellent movie .
kevin goes to new lengths in this hilarious comedy and gives us some great characters with not too much background or study and rather we start to know the characters as we watch the movie .
of course the best ( and funniest ) of them
all is the only duo in history that have made me fall out of my chair laughing and that my friends are jay and silent bob .
probably the best characters in movies that i like .
the star - studded cast is amazing and has some other cameos by george carlin , jeanne garafolo
and so may more that we start to lose track after a while .
the script was written by kevin smith with many f'words in there of course and a strong emphasis on sexual talk but he also seems to concentrate on what is important rather that what is n't and makes us laugh at the same time as we think
.
chris rock gives a hilarious performance and gets into his character very well , with some classic lines .
linda fiorentino is just perfect for her role and makes us believe that she really is who she is
.
of course jason mewes and kevin smith do a great job as jay and silent bob with some priceless lines from jay ( as well as silent bob ) .
alan rickman , jason lee , salma hayek round out the cast with matt damon and ben affleck in the starring roles . being oscar winners for the classic ' good will hunting '
they give great performances here again but matt damon seems just a little held back and to me did not give it all he could .
ben however was all out and
got very much into his character as well as the story .
the movie 's only big flaw is that it has a few unfunny lines and some slow parts to go along with it .
however the direction by kevin and the script by kevin as well as the priceless performance
by many of the cast members , ' dogma ' stands as a new classic
and i think i can safely compare it to ' clerks ' .
while being funny at times , in the end it becomes a serious movie with an important message that some may not agree with but ca n't deny it .
' dogma ' will offend people , especially deeply religious people , but for those of you who are open minded and want to see some very funny material then
this is the movie for you .
all kevin smith fans must see ! !
P

towards the middle of " the sweet hereafter , " a crowded school bus skids on an icy road surface as it rounds a bend , careens through the steel guard rail , and disappears out of sight .
then , in long shot , we see the vehicle slowly sliding across what looks like a snow - covered field .
it pauses for a moment before the " field " cracks under the bus ' weight and the bright yellow vehicle vanishes in an effortless moment , a single smooth second of time .
compare that scene , if you will , to the last eighty minutes of " titanic , " when the behemoth sinks slowly and spectacularly to its watery demise , and you 'll appreciate the futility of comparing greatness in films .
the scene in " the sweet hereafter " epitomizes all that 's right with independent canadian director atom egoyan 's film .
it 's not sensational .
we do n't see the inside of the bus with its payload of screaming , terrified children being bloodied and battered about .
the bus does n't explode or break into a thousand tiny pieces .
it simply leaves the road and silently slips beneath the surface of a frozen lake .
it 's a horrifying sequence made all the more so by calm and distance .
using a non - linear approach to his narrative , egoyan shifts back and forward in time , connecting us with the inhabitants of the small british columbian town who have been severely affected by this tragedy .
fourteen children died in the accident , leaving their parents and the town itself paralyzed with grief .
the catalyst at the center of the film is ambulance chaser mitchell stephens ( a wonderfully moving performance by ian holm ) , who comes to sam dent to persuade the townsfolk to engage in a class action suit .
stephens , who " does n't believe in accidents , " functions as a concerned , involved observer , scribbling details in his notebook and providing the parents with an opportunity to reach some kind of closure in the harrowing aftermath .
while stephens ' initial drive may be financial ( one third of the total settlement if he wins ) , his involvement provides him more with an outlet to come to grips with his own loss .
his self - destructive , drug - addicted daughter has been in and out of clinics , halfway houses and detox units for years .
egoyan 's attention to detail and ability to establish mood are so impeccable
that even the sound of a kettle boiling resonates like a plaintive cry .
mychael danna , who composed the shimmering music for " the ice storm , " contributes another memorable score that shivers and tingles .
equally impressive is paul sarossy 's cinematography , capturing the imposing canadian mountainsides and low - hanging fogs as splendidly as his shadowy interiors -- in one scene a bright wall calendar serves to illuminate portions of a room .
"
the sweet hereafter , " while undeniably grim , urges the viewer to grab onto life with both hands and not let go .
it 's a film of generous subtlety and emotion .

P