instruction:
In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
question:
it 's now the anniversary of the slayings of julie james ' ( jennifer love hewitt ) best friends .
still besieged by nightmarish memories of the man responsible for it all , she seems to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown .
she ca n't concentrate on her schoolwork , ca n't get a good night 's sleep , and is even frightened by the shadows and the blinking strobe lights at a local dance club .
everywhere she looks , she sees visions of the man in a rubber slicker with the hook on his hand .
in the first movie , ` i know what you did last summer ' , julie and three of her friends accidentally kill a man , running him down while driving down a dark mountain highway .
to cover their misdeed , they dump the body into the ocean .
however , he never quite died and returned to hunt down julie and her friends .
julie and one other , ray ( freddie prinze jr . ) , survived only to make this dismal sequal .
needing some desparate rest and relaxation , she is elated to learn that her college roommate , karla ( brandy ) , has won a trip for four to a secluded tropical island .
accompanying these two girls are karla 's overbearing boyfriend , tyrell ( mehki phifer ) and a potential beau for julie .
but was this contest too good to be true ?
the resort is filled with a skeleton staff that seemed like love boat rejects .
meanwhile , the hotel is practically deserted as the storm season is about to begin .
this presumably creates a venue where they will be secluded and will have no possible means off the island .
eventually , they will be hunted down during power outages and chased around during intense lightning storms .
as you might have guessed , somewhere in the shadows lurk a mysteriously strange figure that is wearing a rubber slicker and wielding a hook .
julie tries to convince her friends that the killer is on the island ( an eerie touch is when she is singing " i will survive " at the karaoke bar and the words scroll " i still know . . . " ) , but her friends chalk it up to paranoia .
but the body count soon starts to rise , and for julie , it 's going to be the worst vacation of her life .
the funny ( yes , i used the word ' funny ' ) thing about this movie is that i heard more chortling and giggling ( maybe it was my giggling ) than i heard screaming .
this movie boils down to a mindless slashfest that never conjures up any amount of wry wit or even a quirky campiness .
there is n't even any suspense that leads up to the deaths .
here 's an appropriate example .
knock - knock .
" housekeeping " , says the diminuitive cleaning lady .
the door suddenly opens up .
slash .
next victim ! is there any reason to go and see this movie ?
not unless you want to see four uninteresting college kids run around in circles for about 90 minutes .
but i do want to say one thing about this movie that satisfied me .
i was thoroughly irritated with tyrell , who incessantly ranted and raved about his sexual libido .
i secretly wished for him to get filleted .
did he get ' hooked ' ?
well , let 's just say that if he did n't , i would give this film a grade of " d " .
answer:
N


question:
that 's exactly how long the movie felt to me .
there were n't even nine laughs in nine months .
it 's a terrible mess of a movie starring a terrible mess of a man , mr . hugh grant , a huge dork .
it 's not the whole oral - sex / prostitution thing ( referring to grant , not me ) that bugs me , it 's the fact that grant is annoying .
not just adam sandler - annoying , we 're talking jim carrey - annoying .
since when do
eye flutters and nervous smiles pass for acting ?
but , on the other hand , since when do really bad slapstick ( a fistfight in the delivery room culminating in grant 's head in joan cusack 's lap -- a scene he paid $ 60 to have included in the movie ) and obscene double entendres ( robin williams , the obstetrician , tells grant 's pregnant girlfriend she has " a big pussy , " referring of course to the size of the cat hairs on her coat , but nonetheless , grant paid $ 60 to have the exchange included in the movie ) pass for comedy ?
nine months is a predictable cookie - cutter movie with
no originality in humor or plot .
hugh grant plays a successful child psychiatrist .
why a child psychologist ?
so the scriptwriters could inject the following unfunny exchange :
kid : my dad 's an asshole .
grant ( flutters eyelashes , offers a nervous smile , then responds in his annoying english accent and i - think - i - actually - have- talent attitude ) : could you possibly elaborate on that ?
kid :
my dad 's a _ huge _ asshole .
more like a hugh asshole , but that 's beside the point , which is : nine months includes too many needlessly stupid jokes that get laughs from the ten year olds in the audience while everyone else shakes his or her head in disbelief .
so , anyway , grant finds out his girlfriend is pregnant and does his usual reaction ( fluttered eyelashes , nervous smiles ) .
this paves the way for every possible pregnancy / child birth gag in the book , especially since grant 's equally annoying friend 's wife is also pregnant .
the annoying friend is played by tom arnold , who provides most of the cacophonous slapstick , none of which is funny , such as a scene where arnold beats up a costumed " arnie the dinosaur " ( you draw your own parallels on that one ) in a toy store .
the only interesting character in the movie is played by jeff goldblum , who should have hid himself away somewhere after the dreadful hideaway , as an artist with a fear of ( and simultaneous longing for ) commitment .
not even robin williams , who plays a russian doctor who has recently decided to switch from veterinary medicine to obstetrics , has much humor .
his is a one - joke character--
the old foreign - guy - who - mispronounces - english stereotype ( did someone say yakov smirnov ?
that 's my favorite vodka , by the way ) , hence the line
" now it 's time to take a look at your volvo ,
" another nasty but unamusing joke , except this one goes right over the ten year olds ' heads , while the adults simultaneously groan .
nine months is a complete failure , low on laughs and intelligence and high on loud , unfunny slapstick , failed jokes and other uninspired lunacy .
hugh grant 's sunset boulevard arrest ( please , no caught - with - his - pants - down jokes ) may bring more people into the theaters , but they certainly wo n't leave with a smile on their faces , not after 90 minutes of grant 's nervous smiles .
everything in the movie is so forced , so unauthentic that anyone with an i .
q . over 80 ( sorry , hugh ) will know
they wasted their money on an unfulfilled desire .
but at least they did n't spend 60 bucks for it .
answer:
N


question:
my inner flag was at half - mast last year when nick at nite pulled " dragnet " reruns off the air .
sure
, i 'd seen them all at least once , but i could always count on at least a few inadvertent laughs from ultra - serious jack webb when there was nothing else on tv .
even though " dragnet " is out of circulation at the moment , we webb anti - fans still have the d. i. , a 50 's propaganda piece for the military that is almost as hilarious as the famous " blue boy " episode of " dragnet .
" for anyone like me who got laughs out of webb 's rapid - fire speeches and straight - faced seriousness , think of the d. i. as what would happen if sgt .
joe friday ever enlisted , because he plays exactly the same character here ,
a no - nonsense old fart who looks with disdain at the younger generation and loves to give long- winded , melodramatic speeches on any topic . in this election year , i 'm more convinced than ever that webb and bob dole were separated at birth .
the movie opens in characteristic fashion as one recruit after another knocks on webb 's office door and enters .
he gives each one a different series of cranky criticisms before the credits come up .
the " produced and directed by jack webb " card pretty much goes without saying .
this is his movie all the way , and after the first twenty minutes of him chewing out his recruits for no reason , i was wondering if there would even be a plot .
i certainly would have been entertained by an hour and a half of trademark webb rants , but the d. i. gives us more -- much more .
webb 's mission is to make a man out of private owens , the local screw - up .
the captain gives webb three days to convert owens into marine material or , the captain will " personally cut the lace off his panties and ship him out myself .
" ( whether the " lace panties " part refers to webb or owens remains unanswered . )
this , of course , gives webb an excuse to focus all his crotchety energy on making owens ' life a living hell .
for those of you who have n't been indoctrinated into the pleasures of webb watching , here 's a reprint of a typical monologue of his .
i ca n't duplicate his hilarious delivery on paper , but the words should at least partially convey what i 'm talking about . ..
" now you listen to me , youngster .
someday you 'll wake up fighting on a beach and you 'll pray to god somebody
does n't get killed because of your foolishness .
..
i 've got a headline for you : every time you make one of those little mistakes of yours , you 're gon na turn around
and i 'll be standing right there .
"
i could n't write down all the reprintable dialogue from the d. i. ( nearly all of it belongs in the bad movie hall of fame ) , but i tried to include some of the more noteworthy lines , like one from the scene where webb unwinds from a hard day 's work by going to the local bar ( where he orders a tomato juice ) .
he meets a woman who , coincidentally , also orders tomato juice but walks away from a typically - stimulating conversation with webb to flirt with his arch - rival , another marine
d.
i. webb marches over to the table , gets up in her face and says , " just what kind of a dame do you think you are ?
" bogart he ai n't .
the other d.
i. gets one of the few memorable non - webb lines when he confesses to the girl , " he 's a damn good
d.
i. ..
.
i guess i 'm just a little jealous .
" join the club , we 're all jealous of jack webb 's way with women , which is showcased even more amusingly in a later scene , as webb finds his way to the woman 's place of employment , a lingerie store , and stands around looking incredibly flustered at the negligees on display .
"
you expect me to talk to you .
..
in _ here
_ ? !
"
he exclaims , no doubt intimidated by the barrage of bras .
the woman goes off to help a customer , leaving webb to fend for himself once again in this palace of estrogen .
a little girl spots him in the store and demands , " what are you doing in here .
..
you 're a man , are n't you ?
"
he does n't reply , but you know he 's thinking in his head , " what an odd species of human -- so small .
must be one of those children
everyone 's been talking about .
" this poor girl , scarred for life by
her early encounter with jack webb , would later swear off the male gender entirely , just one of the many lesbian conversions he 's responsible for .
the movie does n't focus too closely on webb 's romance , it also continues the owens subplot with probably the most memorable scene in the entire movie , where webb forces his platoon to spend the entire night searching the ground for a flea owens killed during one of their drills .
after two privates hatch a scheme to present webb with the wrong dead flea , webb asks owens , " was that flea you killed a male or female ?
"
owens replies , " a male , sir .
"
webb yells to the platoon
, " this ai n't the one ! " that such a scene ( along with the rest of the movie ) was intended to be taken seriously defies comment .
but we know it was all presented with the utmost seriousness when a title card at the end thanks the marines not only for their cooperation in the making of the d. i. , but for iwo jima , guadalcanal and every other major battle of the first half of the 20th century .
webb held the military in such high esteem that all the soldiers in the movie ( with the exception of owens ) were played by actual marines .
someone wanting to parody this movie could n't do a more comical job than webb did .
it makes it all the more ironic ( like raeeyain on your wedding day ) that the man had no sense of humor himself .
there 's a scene in the movie where the guys are on their break time discussing something and one of them breaks into laughter .
webb bursts in the room and shouts , " what did i tell you about laughing ? !
"
to which the private replies , " sir , only nine - year - old girls laugh , sir ! "
and let me tell you , i was as happy as a nine - year- old girl while watching this movie .
answer:

N