TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you are given a review of movie. Your task is to classify given movie review into two categories: 1) positive, and 2) negative based on its content.
PROBLEM: I saw this back in '94 when it was finally released. Apparently because Orion pictures was in bankruptcy, I think, the movie had not been released a couple of years earlier.I have problem remembering details partly because I haven't seen it in a long time, but I do remember it as a very dull movie. I kept debating whether to walk out of it. The store was not at all interesting or engaging. Was a 3rd rate America Graffiti imitation. None of the performances make it worth watching either. One of the biggest disappointments since a local newspaper reviewer gave it a high rating.

SOLUTION: negative

PROBLEM: Went to see the movie "Troy" this afternoon. Here's what I learned:Contrary to popular opinion and history in general, Greek men were not gay. EVER. This was clearly established immediately at the start of the film and reinforced every five minutes or so thereafter. So it is safe for American dudes to see this movie.Helen of Troy always had impeccable hair and makeup. She looked gorgeous in all of her brief cameo scenes which, though numerous, were probably all filmed on the same day, one after the other, with the director saying, "Alright, now look beautiful . . . good ... OK, now look frightened ... good... now look depressed ... good ... now look interested . . . good ... now look beautiful again ... good..."Most Greek and Trojan men had British accents. Those with American accents couldn't act.Trojans looked just like Greeks, but they tended to stay on the right side of the screen.Brad Pitt does not blink on camera.Helen of Troy's biggest line was, "They're coming for me."Trojan music sounded remarkably like modern Bulgarian music.Brad Pitt's thighs go all the way up.Achilles had a young male friend with whom he was very close, but it's OK. They were cousins. Never mind what history says.Peter O'Toole can tell an entire story with just an expression.Trojan gods apparently all had Greek names, but their statues either looked Egyptian or like Peter O'Toole in drag.Greek men never touched each other unless they were fighting, much like American men.All of the thousands of extras in the movie had exactly the same skin color... Light Egyptian, by Max Factor.Troy had only three women.There were lots of blond Greeks, which is good news for Brad Pitt, who would otherwise have really stuck out.Despite their coastal desert locale, Greeks had the uncanny ability to find unlimited amounts of timber to build fires, funeral pyres, Trojan horses and the like.British actors look silly with Greek hairdos.Brad Pitt changes expression only when the sun is shining directly in his eyes.Greek soldiers fought constantly, but their outfits always looked impeccable.Greek soldiers wore underwear under their skirts.Apparently Greek temples were always in ruins, even back when they were all new.

SOLUTION: negative

PROBLEM: I watched this movie as a preview of a Matthew Barney art exhibit. It certainly prepared me. I almost skipped the exhibit and, in retrospect, probably should have.Aside from the score being great (Bjork) and the photography rich and colorful, the content was mostly tedious and predictable. Gee, I really needed to see someone wearing pearls to figure out what the pearl-divers were up to. The film was mostly a silly mixture of Japanese cultural references and industrial shots of modern whaling technology being used in a mock-hunt/harvest. The film "peaks" with enough gratuitous shock-art to turn your stomach.What was the point of the movie? While others might argue that it is an anti-whaling piece, one could equally argue that it somehow also justifies whaling. Personally I think it was Barney's attempt at "flashing" the audience with his anal, fecal, self-mutilation, and cannibalistic fetishes.Bottom line: unless you really get off on Barney's sense of art, don't bother seeing this movie. The message is obscure, the pace slow, and the cultural references pretentious. If you're after shock-art, you'll do better at one of the many "Undead" movies or hunting down an old copy of Hustler and taking in a fecal-cartoon.

SOLUTION:
negative