TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: five girls spend a day in a closed building doing inventory when a strange box gets delivered there ( is this starting to sound familiar ? ) by mistake .
the girls accidentlly open the box ( big surprise , huh ! ) and release an evil spirit of a killer that kills the girls off one by one ( betcha did n't see that one coming ! ) .
hard to die , i found out while watching the film , is a sequel to sorority house massacre 2 : nightie nightmare ( r .
a .
m .
r .
# 1521 ) .
two of the actresses from sorority house massacre 2 are in this film , robyn harris and melissa moore , but they play different characters here .
orville ketchum is also back as ( get ready for this ) orville ketchum ( yes , the same character from number two ) .
yes , he is also built like a tank in this film too .
i 'm telling you , a nuclear bomb detonated next to this man would n't harm him at all !
the before mentioned three were the only actors from part two that i thought could act , well
they seemed to have lost that ability .
thankfully , for my sanity , i also saw the film warlock , which undid all the ill effects that i got from this film .
the story for this film is completely ridiculous and has many elements from many cheapo low budget horror flicks .
any good moments that this film fails to make are even more destroyed by the story line .
the film is so pathetically predictable that every moment has already been figured out , analyzed , and discarded before it happens .
there is no point in this film that any suspense is ever afoot .
while we are on the subject of the story , the story also provides every chance it can to disrobe an actress .
the film goes to the extent of putting a shower in the manager 's office .
i 'm sorry folks but this is completely unnecessary , ridiculous , and hurts the story
more ( if that is still possible ) .
the script for this film is completely pathetic .
the lines the actresses come out with are completely horrible .
the only thing that i think could have happened is that the actors made up the script as they went along .
here is an example of the wonderful dialog .
the scene is two girls have just entered a gun store and have picked out a * really * big gun .
the line is " my dad used to be a marine , i bet i can work it .
"
this line has got to be a contender for the bad line hall of infamy .
now , we fast forward for a few minutes until just after a big plan ( ? ! ! ? ) has been presented .
one comment from an actress is " not a lot of strategy involved , but i like it .
"
i 'm afraid folks that this is about as good as they get .
now lets talk about the great special effects for this film .
this obviously was n't a big concern of the film makers .
the killing scenes are so obviously faked that they go to the point of threatening the viewer 's intelligence .
a girl gets hacked with a knife and enough blood comes out to do one friday the 13th movie .
are we trying to see how unrealistic we can get ?
the continuity department was obviously asleep ( along with the viewers ) when watching this film .
in one shot , actress has cloths on , camera angle changes , actress seems to have lost clothing .
very impressive trick !
the one ( half ? ) plus that this film has going for it , is that in many places it is unintentionally hilarious .
the incompetence behind the film makes it incredibly funny , and so the viewer can get some enjoyment ( ? ! ! ? ) from the film .
however , this does n't make it worth the rental fee of over a penny
.
in the acting department , the only thing i can say is two thumbs squared and one head down .
i would normally do a detailed paragraph on this topic , but there is no point here because there is nobody that i was impressed with in the least .
oh well , win some , lose some .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: moviemaking is a lot like being the general manager of an nfl team in the post - salary cap era -- you 've got to know how to allocate your resources .
every dollar spent on a free - agent defensive tackle is one less dollar than you can spend on linebackers or safeties or centers .
in the nfl , this leads to teams like the detroit lions , who boast a superstar running back with a huge contract , but can only field five guys named herb to block for him .
in the movies , you end up with films like " spawn " , with a huge special - effects budget but not enough money to hire any recognizable actors .
jackie chan is the barry sanders of moviemaking .
he spins and darts across the screen like sanders cutting back through the defensive line .
watching jackie in operation condor as he drives his motorcycle through the crowded streets of madrid , fleeing an armada of pursuers in identical black compact cars , is reminiscent of sanders running for daylight with the chicago bears in hot pursuit , except that sanders does n't have to worry about rescuing runaway baby carriages .
but like the lions star , jackie does n't have anybody to block for him .
almost every cent that 's invested in a jackie chan movie goes for stunts , and as chan does his own stunts , the rest of the money goes to pay his hospital bills .
this leaves about 75 cents to pay for things like directors ( chan directs ) , scripts and dubbing and supporting characters , not to mention the hideous title sequence .
this also explains why the movie was shot in odd places like morocco and spain .
( chan 's first release in this country , " rumble in the bronx " , was supposedly set in new york , but was filmed in vancouver , and in the chase scenes the canadian rockies are clearly visible . )
heck , jackie does n't even have enough money for a haircut , looks like , much less a personal hairstylist .
in condor , chan plays the same character he 's always played , himself ,
a mixture of bruce lee and tim allen , a master of both kung - fu and slapstick - fu .
jackie is sent by the un to retrieve a cache of lost nazi gold in the north african desert , and is chased by a horde of neo - nazi sympathizers and two stereotypical arabs ( one of the things i like about jackie chan movies : no political correctness ) .
he is joined by three women , who have little to do except scream , " jackie , save us ! " , and misuse firearms .
the villain is an old nazi whose legs were broken in the secret base so that he has to be carried everywhere , and he 's more pathetic than evil .
en route , we have an extended motorcycle chase scene , a hilarious fight in the moroccan version of motel 6 with the neo - nazis , and two confrontations with savage natives .
once at the secret desert base , there is a long chop - socky sequence , followed by the film 's centerpiece , a wind - tunnel fight that 's even better than the one in face / off .
this is where the money was spent , on well - choreographed kung - fu sequences , on giant kevlar hamster balls , on smashed - up crates of bananas , and on scorpions .
ignore the gaping holes in the plot ( how , exactly , if the villain 's legs were broken , did he escape from the secret nazi base , and why did n't he take the key with him ? ) .
do n't worry about the production values , or what , exactly , the japanese girl was doing hitchhiking across the sahara .
just go see the movie .
operation condor has pretentions of being a " raiders of the lost ark " knockoff , but one wonders what jackie could do with the raiders franchise blocking for him -- with a lawrence kazdan screenplay , a john williams score , spielberg directing and george lucas producing , condor might be an a+ movie .
however , you 've got to go with what you 've got , and what you 've got in jackie chan is something special -- a talent that mainstream hollywood should , could , and ought to utilize .

SOLUTION: P

PROBLEM: " varsity blues " is the best film of 1999 thus far .
unfortunately , it is also the first film i have seen from 1999 .
it is another one of those small - town sports movies that involves a flawed , but good - heartedfrom 1999 .
it is another one of those small - town sports movies that involves a flawed , but good - hearted protagonist ; a rough and meanspirited coach ; and the " big game .
"
by the end , will the underdog overcome great odds and triumph ?
will everyone in the town turn against the coach ?
will the team win the climactic game ?
do cats bathe themselves regularly ?
the so - called " hero " in question is john moxin ( james van der beek ) , a senior at west canaan high school who plays for the varsity football team , but is really just hoping to get a scholarship at brown university so that he can get out of the dead - end town .
at least he 's got the right idea , since west canaan , texas is portrayed in the film as , frankly , pathetic , with the whole town treating the weekly football games as the second coming .
heck , in one scene , the front page of the town 's newspaper is proclaiming about the west canaan badgers ' big win the night before .
when the team 's star quarterback is severely injured , tearing the ligaments in his leg , john finds himself taking over as the team 's leader , but his few minutes of glory do not last long , as he begins to have problems with his girlfriend ( amy smart ) when she discovers he spent an evening with another girl ( ali larter ) . and after staying out all night with his drinking buddies at a strip joint ( all of the teenagers in the film are portrayed as raging alcoholics ) , the team loses their second - to - last game , putting john at feuds with the coach ( jon voight who , like gary oldman , is overstaying his welcome in the typecasted role as the " bad guy " ) .
worse yet , the coach is threatening to ruin john 's scholarship chances if the badgers do n't win their final game .
the plotting of " varsity blues " is as old as the hills , and contains every cliche in the book .
admittedly , i was never exactly bored while i was watching it , but i hasten to add that i was rarely ever entertained
.
throughout , all i could really think of is how virtually the same exact story had been filmed with a great deal more thoughtfulness and maturity in 1983 's " all the right moves .
" one of the biggest problems
i had with the film is how little of interest any of the characters actually were , least of all certainly not john , who , played by van der beek ( of tv 's " dawson 's creek " ) , is pretty much a bore without any engaging qualities .
while i probably should n't blame this on van der beek , since the inauspicious and
" by - the - numbers " screenplay by w .
peter iliff is n't of any help , he is still certainly not in the league of tom cruise in " all the right moves .
"
the story revolving around john , meanwhile , is extemely thin throughout , particularly for its 104-minute running time , and it alternates between uninspired comic relief ( as in when the students see their sex education teacher working as a stripper at the club ) and heavy - handed melodrama .
the romance between john and his girlfriend had the potential to be an adequate subplot , but we also learned very little about her , which is unfortunate since amy smart , whom i do n't think i 've seen before in past films , is probably the only character written with any sort of intelligence .
smart does not allow her character to become the " passive girlfriend , " instead coming off as a young woman with her own ideas and opinions .
it 's too bad the camera did n't linger on her long enough
so we could hear some of those thoughts .
the adult characters probably fare the worse of any , since they all must play residents of a dim - witted town that cares about nothing but football .
john 's relationship with his parents can also be telegraphed far in advance .
his father is set on him becoming a football player at a university , but john does n't want any part of that .
his mother stands beside her " big , strong husband " and is a passive female .
finally , jon voight plays the stock bully coach character and he does nothing to make the thankless role any more than one - dimensional .
saving " varsity blues " from being a total washout are a few amusing sequences , including one set in the sex education class , which did get a laugh out of me .
the scenes of playing football were well - shot and thankfully did n't overstay their welcome , as many sports films fall victim to .
but leaving the theater , the question i had in my mind was why did this film need to be made ?
i seem to be asking this question quite a lot lately , since the same old stories seem to be cranking out of hollywood .
do we really need another high - school sports film ?
no , we do n't , and certainly not one of this low - caliber , which felt like a cut - and - paste job of spare parts from much better , but similar , films .
" varsity blues , " no doubt is the first one , however , to include an earnest scene in which one of the characters is only wearing whipped cream on their private parts .

SOLUTION:
N