In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.

moviemaking is a lot like being the general manager of an nfl team in the post - salary cap era -- you 've got to know how to allocate your resources .
every dollar spent on a free - agent defensive tackle is one less dollar than you can spend on linebackers or safeties or centers .
in the nfl , this leads to teams like the detroit lions , who boast a superstar running back with a huge contract , but can only field five guys named herb to block for him .
in the movies , you end up with films like " spawn " , with a huge special - effects budget but not enough money to hire any recognizable actors .
jackie chan is the barry sanders of moviemaking .
he spins and darts across the screen like sanders cutting back through the defensive line .
watching jackie in operation condor as he drives his motorcycle through the crowded streets of madrid , fleeing an armada of pursuers in identical black compact cars , is reminiscent of sanders running for daylight with the chicago bears in hot pursuit , except that sanders does n't have to worry about rescuing runaway baby carriages .
but like the lions star , jackie does n't have anybody to block for him .
almost every cent that 's invested in a jackie chan movie goes for stunts , and as chan does his own stunts , the rest of the money goes to pay his hospital bills .
this leaves about 75 cents to pay for things like directors ( chan directs ) , scripts and dubbing and supporting characters , not to mention the hideous title sequence .
this also explains why the movie was shot in odd places like morocco and spain .
( chan 's first release in this country , " rumble in the bronx " , was supposedly set in new york , but was filmed in vancouver , and in the chase scenes the canadian rockies are clearly visible . )
heck , jackie does n't even have enough money for a haircut , looks like , much less a personal hairstylist .
in condor , chan plays the same character he 's always played , himself ,
a mixture of bruce lee and tim allen , a master of both kung - fu and slapstick - fu .
jackie is sent by the un to retrieve a cache of lost nazi gold in the north african desert , and is chased by a horde of neo - nazi sympathizers and two stereotypical arabs ( one of the things i like about jackie chan movies : no political correctness ) .
he is joined by three women , who have little to do except scream , " jackie , save us ! " , and misuse firearms .
the villain is an old nazi whose legs were broken in the secret base so that he has to be carried everywhere , and he 's more pathetic than evil .
en route , we have an extended motorcycle chase scene , a hilarious fight in the moroccan version of motel 6 with the neo - nazis , and two confrontations with savage natives .
once at the secret desert base , there is a long chop - socky sequence , followed by the film 's centerpiece , a wind - tunnel fight that 's even better than the one in face / off .
this is where the money was spent , on well - choreographed kung - fu sequences , on giant kevlar hamster balls , on smashed - up crates of bananas , and on scorpions .
ignore the gaping holes in the plot ( how , exactly , if the villain 's legs were broken , did he escape from the secret nazi base , and why did n't he take the key with him ? ) .
do n't worry about the production values , or what , exactly , the japanese girl was doing hitchhiking across the sahara .
just go see the movie .
operation condor has pretentions of being a " raiders of the lost ark " knockoff , but one wonders what jackie could do with the raiders franchise blocking for him -- with a lawrence kazdan screenplay , a john williams score , spielberg directing and george lucas producing , condor might be an a+ movie .
however , you 've got to go with what you 've got , and what you 've got in jackie chan is something special -- a talent that mainstream hollywood should , could , and ought to utilize .
P

"
what 's your favorite new york moment ? "
" this one 's climbing the charts .
" starring john cusack , kate beckinsale , eugene levy , molly shannon .
directed by peter chelsom .
rated pg-13 .
there 's no doubt that 95 % of romantic comedies follow a distinct pattern
: guy sees girl , guy wants girl , guy goes through unreasonable obstacles to get girl , guy gets girl .
in rare cases , the genders are flipped .
predictability is a given .
rarely , though , is a romantic comedy as cheap , as obvious , or as pointless as serendipity , a film that uses its " theme " as an excuse for its plot contrivances .
" lightweight " does n't begin to describe it .
this is like anti - gravity .
it begins in a new york city bloomingdale 's , a product placement that rivals cast away 's fedex for sheer blatancy .
jonathan trager ( john cusack ) and sara thomas ( kate beckinsale ) both go for the same pair of gloves .
after going through the perfunctory motions , jonathan gets to keep the gloves and the two of them go out for ice cream , followed by ice skating .
jonathan falls hard , and sara is charmed . when she writes her name and number down on a piece of paper , a truck rumbles by and blows it out of her hand .
she takes this as a sign from fate that they should n't be together ; jonathan is flabbergasted . to pacify him , she comes up with an idea : jonathan will write his number on a 5 dollar bill , which she will promptly spend .
when she gets home , she will write her name and number inside a book ( " love in the time of cholera " ) and sell it to a used bookstore .
if the bill gets back to her or the book to him , it will mean that they are meant to be together .
three years later .
both sara and jonathan are now engaged to other love interests .
both realize they are n't content .
both go looking for the other .
what happens now is so absurd that i 'm almost tempted to recommend the film for the sake of seeing it .
the two of them run circles around each other in a set of incredible " coincidences " that i would describe as contrivances if it were n't for the film
oh - so - cleverly dismissing that criticism by building its plot around " serendipity .
"
of course , since the movie is about fate , the screenwriter can do anything he damn well pleases .
i 'm not buying it .
there 's no suspense in any of this because we know exactly what 's going to happen , but serendipity insists on drilling its purportedly " adorable " non - story into our heads .
instead of " will they meet ?
"
the question we 're asking is " when will they meet already ? " to make matters worse , every " coincidence " is telegraphed from a mile away ; by the last reel
i was bored enough to actively look for signs that something else " incredible " was going to happen .
cusack is fine and beckinsale , at least , is n't saddled with another lumbering , clunky screenplay ( she 's had bad luck , what with brokedown palace and pearl harbor on her resume ) , just an inanely pointless one .
serendipity also relieves the tedium with the amazing eugene levy , who plays a snarky bloomingdale 's salesman .
what 's the interest in watching a movie that spirals around and around a predestined
( no pun intended ) conclusion ?
serendipity wants to tug at the heartstrings , but it only tests our patience .
N

" gordy " is not a movie , it is a 90-minute - long " sesame street " skit , and a very bad one at that .
this movie is so stupid and dumb that it 's depressing to think that some hollywood executives actually gave this the green light , and even more surprising is the fact that this is a disney movie .
i 'm sure children are the target audience of this movie , but only kids under the age of five may be able to tolerate it .
it is the story of a farm a piglet named gordy ( voiced by garms ) , whose family has been taken away to " up north , " which we know means death .
of course we can hear the animals talk to each other , and they actually went to the trouble of attempting to sync the voices with their mouths but
it comes out terrible .
actually , it 's almost funny in a way .
the only remotely interesting and likable character soon appears , a little girl named jinnie sue macallister ( young ) who sees gordy on the back of a truck and essentially steals him .
jinnie is a country singer and the film goes off on a huge tangent to show her little concert and the people dancing to it .
what is the point of this ?
maybe she is one of the producer 's relatives and they wanted to show her on camera to promote her or something .
we then cut to a huge social gathering and drop in on another young kid named hank royce ( roescher ) who is sad because his divorced mother is dating .
he leaves the party and meets jinnie sue , but he accidentally falls in a pool ( probably because he was sitting on the diving board with a $ 200 suit on - nah , did n't see that one coming ! ) , starts to drown , and is miraculously saved as gordy pushes an inflatable float over to him and saves him .
if this had not been insanely stupid already the story quickly changes when jinnie gives gordy to hank who then ends up becoming the ceo of a food processing corporation when hank 's grandfather , the original ceo , dies and leaves his fortune to hank . . .
and gordy !
of course there must be a villain , but even this villain ( donadio as sipes ) is n't that evil .
he never raises his voice or becomes angry , and of course he has the typical idiot goons kidnap gordy but
this is just so beyond stupid and cartoony we are constantly two steps ahead of the story .
it 's hard to tell whether the overall corniness and cheesiness to the movie is intentional because it is a family film , or if the filmmaker 's are just this untalented and stupid .
at times " gordy " is tolerable to watch , thus earning it one star and not the dreaded " z- .
"
but it 's just so unbelievably boring , cliche , dumb , unfunny , corny , and just plain bad it may scare children , it certainly disturbed me .
( 4/21/96 )
( 1/29/97 )
( 6/13/97 )
[ see also : " babe " ]

N