TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: there are movies that pose a question in its first five minutes and spend the rest of the time trying to answer it .
then there are movies that spend the whole time posing questions and try to answer it all in the last five minutes .
writer - director john herzfeld 's two days in the valley falls into the latter category .
weaving together a grabbag of seemingly unrelated characters
, herzfeld 's tries very hard to keep the audience guessing with a altmanesque series of parallel stories .
hitmen lee ( james spader ) and his partner dosmo ( danny aiello ) pop a guy in bed while leaving his drugged wife becky fox ( teri hatcher ) lying next to him showing the audience where on her behind
she got nicely pricked .
an understandeably shocked becky runs out of the house the next morning before hailing down a couple of vice cops , ( jeff daniels ) and wes ( eric stoltz ) .
a murder is not vice territory , flirting with asian prostitues is , but wes would rather play inquisitive detective .
meanwhile , washed - up director , teddy ( paul mazursky ) is about to end his life .
but before he can do that , he must find a good home for his dog .
enter nurse audrey ( marsha mason ) , who takes the dog and teddy for a ride .
stuffy art dealer , allan hopper ( greg cruttwell ) has kidney stones .
while struggling about his fancy house , he switches between moaning in self - pity and dropping condescending hints about his loyal secretary 's ( glenne headly ) plain appearance .
do n't be surprised if you find yourself asking more than once just what the hell is going on .
you might like that feeling of cluelessness .
herzfeld does answer all the questions in the course of time and pieces it all rather neatly in the last five minutes .
the jigsaw puzzle assembled is n't stunning by any means though .
the characters lack the stature or moral complexity of altman 's real - life heroes in short cuts , even though they are interesting and funny .
funny , that is if you are n't comparing them to the likes of tarantino 's pulp chcaracters .
the tie - up is tidy but nowhere near the squeaky clean resolution of ( director 's name ?
guy who also did last seduction ) red rock west .
two days is n't a bad movie but there is n't much else to it than the screenplay novelty of the linkage of seemingly unrelated characters .
it 'll keep you guessing alright
but you wo n't remember the answers five minutes after the credits .
the flying inkpot rating system :
* wait for the tv2 broadcast .
*
* a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha !
*
* * pretty good , bring a friend .
*
*
* * amazing , potent stuff .
*
*
*
* * perfection . see it twice .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: in brief : best bleak comedy film
since heathers . full of wonderful swipes at the fifteen minutes of fame mentality that feeds so much of modern american pop culture .
go see it !
so , i prepared for this film by watching a moving interview on " hard copy " with pam smart , the new hampshire media teacher who was convicted of engineering the death of her husband back in the 1980 's .
" hard copy " 's diane diamond asked smart what she thought about nicole kidman 's fictionalized portrayal of her in the new film to die for .
smart replied that she thought kidman 's character came off as a dumb , vicious tramp
and she thought that the publicity the new movie generates might just hurt her chances in her latest court appeal .
( smart was convicted and given a life sentence for her part in the murder of her husband . )
smart 's got a point .
it would n't be the first time that the public took the better scripted and well - acted movie version of an event as the absolute truth over the duller and far less artistic real life version .
however , given a choice between the mass media ' happening ' of the real event and the fictionalized movie , i would definitely opt for the later .
real murderers rarely have dialogue as witty as what buck henry has written for this movie and smart , while pretty and alluring , is no match for the cinematic charms of nicole kidman .
to die for begins in a town called little hope , new hampshire , the archetypal dry and intellectually barren american suburb .
the story concerns the ambitious suzanne stone and how she tackles the obstacles between her and her life long ambition of being ' on tv . '
of course , one of those little obstacles turns out to be her dull and unambitious husband larry , played by matt dillon .
but , with a little imagination , some charm and raw sex appeal and a rather novel approach to junior achievement , our heroine manages to overcome the nay - sayers in her life , at least temporarily .
kidman triumphs in the trashy role of suzanne .
i have never really been all that fond of this actress but
she shows a wonderful flair for comedy in this picture .
her portrayal of the incredibly shallow and dumb femme fatale resonates .
kidman knows a star - making role when she sees it
and she plays the conscience - deprived suzanne as the ultimate career driven , post - feminist uber - temptress from hell .
she is ably abetted by wonderfully demented comic dialogue , which kidman delivers in a unselfconsciously funny way .
at one point suzanne is expounding on her knowledge of world events to her future husband and sister - in - law .
"
you know , " she knowingly exclaims , " gorbachev would still be the leader of russia or whatever , if he had just had that ugly purplish thing removed from his head .
"
her husband beams at suzanne 's profound knowledge of world politics and then proudly proclaims that this qualifies her to be the next barbara walters .
this is very close to pop culture bashing heaven , folks .
the other standout performance in the film is delivered by joaquin phoenix .
he plays jimmy , a burned out teenager who becomes addicted to suzanne 's sexual favors .
kidman 's character , vapid though she is , is a sort of suave beacon of success to jimmy and his lost friends russell and lydia , winningly portrayed by casey affleck and alison folland .
phoenix looks like the very embodiment of gen - x slackerhood ( as envisioned by tabloid tv , of course ) .
his jimmy has the dead eyes and demeanor of a kid who knows that he ai n't going anywhere , ever .
phoenix reacts to the sexy suzanne with a sort of obsessed amazement
and he makes us believe that a loser character like jimmy really would be willing to kill for someone like suzanne , someone who actually noticed him .
gus van sant ( drugstore cowboy ,
my own private idaho )
direction is first - rate .
he keeps the pacing in this not - quite - thriller snapping along .
van sant rightly keeps the focus of this movie on the amoral suzanne and does n't stop to proselytize the audience about the rightness or wrongness of her actions .
van sant trusts his material and trusts his audience to ' get it ' without stopping to explain what is funny about this all - american story .
the screenplay , by buck henry , is absolutely great and includes some of the best bleakly comic lines i 've heard since heathers .
henry 's story is a blast against the shallowness of the american media and the mindlessness of fame , yet the screenplay delivers this sharp message by focusing on just a few characters .
henry
ably manages to avoid diluting his story by aiming at too many targets and the result is a crisp and funny mini - classic .
danny elfman did the original music for this movie and he delivers another eccentric , loopy score that strongly echoes his themes for edward scissorhands .
either film score would make wonderful background music for halloween trick - or - treat parties .
all - in - all , a wonderful production , well worth your seven bucks ! to die for : a columbia pictures release directed by gus van sant .
written by buck henry score by danny elfman starring nicole kidman , matt dillon , joachin phoenix based on the book by joyce maynard .
rated r - for language and mature themes .
( respect the r , not for under 14 's ) rating ----- stars .
go see it .

SOLUTION: P

PROBLEM: the king and i , a warner brothers animated , musical feature , recycles the classic story of a woman who challenges the heart of a king , with obvious results .
when anna ( miranda richardson ) , a british schoolteacher , travels to saim to educate the king 's ( martin vidnovic ) children , she learns that the king is treating his people unfairly , and must say something to the greedy ruler .
meanwhile , the king 's prime minister ( ian richardson ) , the stereotypical villain , plots to overthrow the king , taking the throne .
the last , and most predictable , main subplot deals with the king 's son ( allen d. hong ) , and his love for a servant , tuptim ( armi arabe ) , and how he conflicts with his feelings , and the ancient laws of saim . not even the lone strong character of anna can save the unbelievably horrible waste of talent , as the king and i 's problems could fill the blank pages of a journal .
i will only note the major difficulties , for it would take pages to elaborate on every detail .
the screenplay , written by arthur rankin , peter bakalian , jacqeline feather , and david seidler , which is based upon the play written by richard rodgers and oscar hammerstein , has some of the worst dialogue written in a film within recent memory ,
as every time the obnoxious king would shout , " etc , etc , etc , " i would cringe .
literally .
speaking of cringing-
i did quite a bit of this during the rather short film , which is a classic display of terrible filmmaking .
besides the repetitive dialogue from the king , on the whole , the songs seem out of place , and unlike the lyrics , are unmagical .
the sole song which is used cleverly is " getting to know you , " which is used as anna shows the children the great outdoors , which they have never been exposed to .
unlike disney animated features , the king and i 's songs do n't add to the film , and are as uneffective as could be .
take the following scenario as an example , as the sheer horror of the king
and i 's music is at its worst .
you 're being hunted by a dragon !
what do you do ! ?
sing a happy song !
martin vidnovic voices the king without effort or emotion-
you hear the saying two negatives do n't make a positive ? believe it !
with the terrible dialogue that the king has , along with his awful voice track , the king is completely unbelievable , only shows mild signs of any personality , and the only thing that changes in the king is that he says " etc . , etc . , etc . , " more and more as the film progresses .
no personality at the beginning of the movie , none at the end .
and where does this character 's personality change ?
hey , i thought anna was supposed to change him !
is n't that the whole plot ?
the prime minister 's hideous sidekick ( darrell hammond ) brings his share of cringes as well
- oh no !
another one of his teeth fell out !
hardy - har - har !
he is supposed to bring laughs for the kidlets , but even at age five i would have cringed while watching him .
by the way this review is going , you may think the reasoning for my hate for this film is due to not liking animated films- hence
why i hate this movie , because the king and i is a disgrace to animation .
animated films , such as 1994 's the lion king and 1998 's the prince of egypt , are among my favorite movies of all time .
the animation team does design their share of well animated settings , so this makes it easier to take my mind off of the annoying king , until i realize that day and night switch back in fourth within seconds .
i have not read the play , or seen the oscar winning , 1956 film adaption , but from what i can tell , the screenplay for the 1999 version completely butchers the play , for the king
and i is never magical , nor interesting .
if it was n't for miranda richardson , who voices anna with feeling , the king and i could earn the title , " worst movie of the decade .
" instead , the king and i will just go down as among the year 's worst .
the bottom line- avoid this movie at all costs .
not even young children , the target audience in this film , will enjoy it . not the slightest bit .

SOLUTION:
N