In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.

i 'm guessing -- and from the available evidence , it 's not a great guess -- that burn hollywood burn began life as an insider satire of hollywood excess , stupidity , ego and power - mongering .
if so , the film that ended up on the screen ranks as one of the most spectacularly ironic unintentional jokes in film history .
it has already been well - documented that the original title , an alan smithee film , became a problem when miserable test screenings forced re - cuts against the will of director arthur hiller , prompting hiller himself to opt for the directors ' guild - mandated pseudonym of alan smithee .
that left a film satire in the hands of writer joe eszterhas , as humorless a hack as ever put finger to word processor .
and you could just smell the disaster brewing .
if you 're unfortunate enough to sit through burn hollywood burn , you 'll still be smelling that disaster long after the lights come up .
ostensibly , it 's a pseudo - documentary account of a director named alan smithee ( eric idle ) who loses control of a big - budget action film called trio starring sylvester stallone , whoopi goldberg and jackie chan ( all of whom appear as themselves ) .
when the only recourse available to him is abandoning the project to be called " an alan smithee film " -- which , of course , it already is -- smithee steals the negative of the film and threatens to destroy it .
among the parties interviewed are the film 's producer james edmunds ( ryan o'neal ) and studio boss jerry glover ( richard jeni ) , who spend virtually the entire film narrating the story while painfully unfunny things go on around them .
it 's bad enough that burn hollywood burn has -- literally -- not a single laugh for its entire , blissfully brief 84 minutes .
what makes it even worse is eszterhas ' insistence upon telling every bad joke not once , but twice or even three times .
michael ovitz references , showgirls references , oral sex references , whoopi goldberg / ted danson references -- all show up multiple times with all the subtlety that is eszterhas ' stock - in - trade .
the reduncancy even manages to turn actively offensive with some frequency , notably with the hilarious use of the word " feminist " as an identifying caption for every single female character in the film .
by the time coolio and chuck d show up as black independent film - makers the brothers brothers ( cleverly identified as " bad a-- " and " badder a-- " , among other unprintable things ) , you may be ready to walk out of the theater with your coat over your head to avoid being identified .
those documentary captions , for all their leaden obviousness , allow the best insight into what 's so hideously wrong with burn hollywood burn .
not content to stick any hollywood type with only one jab from his rapier wit , eszterhas fills the screen with bullet points every time a new character appears .
the producer is a " liar " who " slept in the white house ; " the media are " maggots " and " leeches " working for publications like " the new york slimes " and " newsleak " ( with the camera zooming in on the altered title to make sure you do n't miss the joke ) .
it does n't even matter that eszterhas tags " penile implant " after his own name when he makes a cameo , because it seems like such a desperate attempt to feign self - deprecation .
this is a petulant schoolboy 's idea of satire -- pictures of hollywood insiders to which eszterhas has taken a pen to draw little moustaches and black out the teeth .
the last stomach - churning straw comes when burn hollywood burn closes with out - takes over the closing credits , the kind that show the audience how much fun everyone was having making the film that just sucked an hour and a half of your life away .
perhaps it was just a final , desperate attempt by eszterhas to convince himself
there was some purpose behind the film , or to convince everyone involved that a few blown lines warranted threatening to blow their whole career .
pity everyone involved with this excessive , ego - driven " satire " of excess and ego .
it 's too bad that only directors can remove their names from noxious material like this .
otherwise , you might have seen credits for burn hollywood burn overflowing with alan smithees .
N

plot summary : the year is 2024 .
the ozone layer has long since gone and the earth is now protected from radiation by a shield invented by connor mccleod .
the shield , although saving lives , has made the atmosphere hot and humid .
connor is a mortal and a tired old man who has given up hope .
on returning from the opera one night connor is accosted by the leader of a " terrorist " organisation .
they have tried to find out what the company that now runs the shield unit are covering up .
connor is then attacked by two assassins sent by katana from the planet zeist ( like zeit -- get it ? ) .
they fail and connor becomes immortal again by chopping their heads off .
he then brings ramirez back to life in glencoe in scotland .
both ramirez and connor are rebel leaders back on zeist and have been sent to earth as punishment .
connor now has the option to return being the last one but opts to stay with his new found immortality and fight to find out about the company and the shield .
katana meanwhile , fearing connor would return , sets out himself to kill the highlander .
if you have never seen it . being a fan of highlander and mr .
connery , i was in the cinema as soon as i could to see highlander ii :
the quickening .
i wish it had been quicker .
i feel whatever else you can say about a film ( bad script bad music , etc . ) if you sit just plain bored through most of it then nothing much else needs to be said .
the film was short but in my opinion only twelve minutes or so
( the time mr .
connery is on the screen for ) is worth watching .
the plot sounds a little ridiculous but i was willing to give it a chance .
maybe they could pull it off .
instead , i find that the characters have completely changed from those in the first film .
it 's as if they are different people with the same names .
witness connor jumping into bed with the leader of the resistance -- where is the attitude of " who wants to live forever , when love must die " gone to ?
the love sub - plot
* must * have had footage cut out .
the highlander and ramirez both seemed aware of powers they had never mentioned before .
putting our heroes in deadly situations and then having them walk away because of some new power is very annoying .
i still want to know why connor 's coat becomes flame proof when he is immortal !
we are not given enough time on zeist to believe in it , nor are we told why advanced aliens still use swords to kill .
why not dynamite or laser saws or just plain bullets followed by a quick chop to the neck ?
i know the head needs to come off
but you could at least immobilise your opponent with laser rifles first .
to be fair one assassin tried this
but he must be the world 's worst shot .
meanwhile connor develops luke - skywalker - like powers of laser beam deflection .
as for " bad guys , " we see a rebellion on zeist , crushed easier than a grape and then the rest of the plot depends on katana being obsessed with killing mccleod in case he returns to zeist .
two assassins are sent , presumably they are meant to be good at killing but an aged connor kills them both with no problems .
no more assassins are sent .
katana , supposedly a very powerful man goes himself to kill connor .
has he no more assassins ?
has he no better ?
why was the rebellion crushed so easily then ?
michael ironside is totally unconvincing
( bring back the kurgan ) .
he seems like a cartoon character and really is n't that evil , just stupid and violent .
we see the hollywood trick of the chief nasty threatening a child again and killing lots of innocents .
yet he still seems like no threat -- perhaps because he seems too stupid to threaten connor , or maybe because his two best assassins would n't have been amiss with larry , curly and mo .
so much for plot and characters .
the music is atrocious .
it is at best intrusive and at worst annoying . bring back queen .
there was an audible sigh ( of relief ? )
when connor played a queen track in a juke box .
i believe this at least is to be corrected for the american release .
the acting is at best flat , except for mr .
connery .
lambert is uninteresting and when he delivered " there can be only one " this time around it
just made me wish there had only been one -- highlander .
michael ironside is unconvincing
; sorry , michael , i usually like you and everyone else was incredibly forgetable .
so why 2/10 ?
visually the film is interesting at all times .
it has a blade runner feel to it and some of the special effects are quite stunning .
add to this an irrepressible sean connery who smiles throughout the whole film -- or is he smirking to himself ?
his lines and delivery might make the film worthwhile
had it not been so obvious that he can not take the whole thing seriously at all
but hey
--
*
i 'd * have done it for 12 million .
oh , and i agree with a previous reviewer
, she * does * look like sharon stone but i believe it is her first film .
incidentally there is a line producer credited and i hear rumours of highlander iii : the wizard .
N

"
i would appreciate it if you did n't do that again .
" starring jet li , bridget fonda , tch ?
ky karyo
, burt kwouk .
directed by chris nahon .
rated r .
it 's no secret that martial arts film often use their plot simply to get from one action sequence to another .
when the fight scenes are enough to justify paying admission , there is no problem with this , as in most jackie chan projects and a lot of the hong kong actioners .
when they are n't , well , we 're in bad shape .
kiss of the dragon , jet li 's second consecutive american misfire , plays like one big miscalculation , and fails even as the most rudimentary entertainment .
now before i start getting e - mails angrily touting the genius of jet li , let me explain myself .
li is as spectacular as ever here , and i do n't think anyone would ever dare call his martial - arts - star skills into question .
the problem is n't with him , it 's with the movie 's tone .
the much touted fight - scenes here are filmed with such unflinching , unrelenting brutality that they are unpleasant to watch .
they 're joyless , perfuctory ; li 's rogue chinese detective is more of a killing machine than a hero , a terminator with a black belt instead of a metal skeleton .
but even the terminator in judgement day had a sympathetic side .
the plot is n't relevant , but if you 're curious ,
it 's some nonsense about a chinese law enforcement officer ( li ) sent to paris to investigate a possible drug ring and encounter a corrupt chief of police ( tcheky karyo ) , who kills people and does sinister things with no motivation whatsoever .
oh yeah ,
and li 's character is also an acupuncture expert who is able to ease pain and/or kill at the touch of a needle .
" kiss of the dragon " is the name of an acupuncture maneuver , in which you stick a needle in a precise location on the back of the victim 's neck , somehow redirecting all of the body 's bloodflow to the brain and killing the poor sap more or less immediately .
there 's a vague attempt to humanize li by having him fall in love with a downtrodden prostitute , whose daughter is being held hostage , for some reason , by the villain .
this is one of the worst love stories i have ever seen on screen , even worse than the one in pearl harbor .
there 's no conviction whatsoever as the movie barely pays lip service to it ; it 's only here because someone apparently thought there should be some kind of boy - meets - girl subplot .
kiss of the dragon was written by luc besson , whose screenplay the messenger : the story of joan of arc , for all of that film 's flaws , was at least thoughtful .
i do n't know why the guy got himself involved in this train wreck
,
but perhaps he wanted to so something more mainstream after the neverending weirdness of the fifth element and the aforementioned stylized biopic .
i suppose you could call this mainstream , but i 'll choose the bizarre any time of the day .
if action scenes in a movie are going to be brutal instead of dazzling , you need a story to justify watching them .
the filmmakers behind kiss of the dragon should have rethought their strategy .
no one will walk out of this misbegotten project smiling , but i hear rush hour 2 is coming in just a few weeks .

N