TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: arriving in a barrage of hype , the blair witch project is one of the biggest box office success of the year .
however , like the golden child , although blair witch has made a lot of money , it 's not very good .
donahue , williams and leonard play themselves as three students who set out to make a documentary about the blair witch myth .
the film is made up of the camcorder footage they recorded , which means grainy footage and woozy camera angles .
although events start of normal , they get weird pretty quickly , while the threesome argue more and more as the journey goes on .
although an interesting premise , the blair witch project amounts to nothing more than a missed opportunity .
the biggest mistake the film makes is to let three mediocre actors the chance to improvise .
most of the dialogue is ad - libbed , and still manages to sound like a poor b - movie .
the ' script ' eventually degenerates into shouting matches , with the f - word included a lot to sound like students .
there are breaks in these arguments where some creepy events occur , but then it 's back to the shouting and swearing , which gets very tiresome very quickly .
if i wanted to see three people get lost in the woods , shout a lot and swear , i 'd go on scout camp .
but no , the audience is meant to get some entertainment factor out of this , but i 'm not quite sure how .
the supernatural parts of the film are actually interesting , especially if close attention is paid to the story developing first twenty minutes .
with no music and no budget to work with , the film has to depend on natural , psychological scares , which are sometimes well delivered , sometimes not .
i never really felt truly scared during any part of the film , although there is a small sense of fear underlying throughout the film .
however , because the actors are so irritating , the scares are lost when it eventually reverts back to heather saying ' what the f * ck is that ? '
a lot , and mike giggling like a loony .
there 's also the niggling fact that these student filmmakers do some really stupid things .
the main problem is the fact that even though these hapless bunch could be killed at any moment , and are hopelessly lost , heather still insists on filming it all .
the film gives a half hearted reason why she should want to do this , but it is n't very convincing .
also , the students have no idea how to survive in the woods , such as following a large river flowing through the woods to civilisation .
there are also some parts where the ' amateur ' camcorder footage is obviously staged , heather 's apology being a major one .
the blair witch project , in the end , just fails to deliver .
i suppose if you 've been lost camping before , the film may deliver some chills , but this is no use for the other 99 % of the paying audience who have n't been lost in the woods .
apart from the final minutes , the film is mind boggingly unscary , and the shouting matches get hideously dull .
the spook scenes are short and far between , and any other horror movie could probably achieve the same amount of fear that these scenes provide .
although a good idea ,
it 's not executed well enough to be a fun , scary cinema experience .
it 's a worrying fact when the website ( http : //www . blairwitch .
com ) is better than the film .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: i can imagine how good krippendorf 's tribe must have looked on paper .
it does not surprise me in the least that a group of extremely talented actors , led by the great richard dreyfuss and a good director ( todd holland ) , all wanted to make this film .
in fact , it is only the expertise by which this excruciatingly bad script has been executed that keeps me from suggesting that you stay as far away from krippendorf 's tribe as possible .
in retrospect , i can imagine how bad this film could have been .
i shudder at the possibilities of awfulness
had it starred an actor less able than dreyfuss .
dreyfuss plays james krippendorf , an anthropologist who is granted $ 100 , 000 by his university to find an undiscovered tribe in new guinea .
halfway into his two - year expedition , his wife ( apparently ) dies .
i say apparently because when or how she dies is never truly established .
later , we find out that much of the grant money was spent on big - screen tvs and other such pleasures .
so , when krippendorf finds out what happens to professors who do not use their grant money wisely , he decides to construct an elaborate lie .
he makes his own tribe , using his three children as actors in a video .
he simply makes up certain incredible facts about this tribe ( which he calls the shelmickedmu ) .
audiences at krippendorf 's lectures are amazed by his findings that the shelmickedmu practice circumcision .
and proof that the typical family unit is led by a single father is truly amazing to the anthropological community .
like all films like this , the lie becomes more and more complex , and the suspense is generated with us wondering at what point it is all going to fall out from under our hero .
dreyfuss is a funny , talented man , and he is funny in this film .
he has lots of positive energy and , unlike most comical actors , really manages to play people like this realistically .
this film also requires a lot of physical humor that i 've never seen dreyfuss perform , and he does a great job .
jenna elfman , who plays veronica mecilli , a scientist who wants in on krippendorf 's work , is also very funny and appealing here .
and the kid actors are great , as well .
but we 're talking about the script from hell .
this is one of those stories that requires such extreme suspension of disbelief that they might as well have established that the story just takes place in an alternate universe where things like this can happen .
but the ridiculousness of the story is not really
what is so bad about it .
all the cliches and the irritating plot devices could have easily been overcome by dreyfuss and crew .
no , the script is plagued with so many clueless stereotypes and mean - spirited characters that i was in disbelief as i watched .
furthermore , the manor in which all of this material is covered up is truly shameless .
take , for instance , the scene in which krippendorf gets veronica drunk so he can tape them having sex .
they get all decked out in the tribe getup , complete with paint to darken their skin .
krippendorf does this because he needs footage of the mating rituals of his tribe .
now , i saw this scene coming from a mile away , but i said to myself , " no , that would be far too tasteless .
there 's no way they 'll do that . . .
oh god !
"
they did do it .
it 's there .
i was almost more appalled by the fact that this did n't bother the other audience members with whom i saw this film .
i found it deplorable .
and when krippendorf is forced to admit that he did it , he simply apologizes without the slightest hint of conviction in his voice .
the film is filled with scenes like these .
they not only insult the audience , but they insult the types of people that the film portrays .
it would take some truly professional work to create videos convincing enough to fool an entire community of scientists , yet krippendorf
does it easily in an afternoon .
and watching dreyfuss stumble over a completely unprepared speech is funny and entertaining , but i think that most members of the on - screen audience would be able to see that he is making everything up as he goes .
if i were an anthropologist , this film would insult me immensely .
moving right along , the film plays off every stereotype our culture has ever learned regarding african tribes .
sure , dreyfuss dressing up like a chief is really funny , and it allows for some entertaining scenes , but the heart of this material is deeply clueless as to the themes and thoughts that it provokes .
it is because of dreyfuss as an actor that i was able to watch this film .
his character here is not a good subject for a film because he is a shameless liar , and never once does he show any kind of penance for what he does .
i suppose it was interesting to see the formula defied in this case , but for the purposes of good taste , i would have expected something .
no , this man sets a terrible example for his kids and colleagues , and the writer of the film ( charlie peters ) did n't include a single scene in which krippendorf takes his kids aside and tells them that what he is doing is very bad .
in fact , it 's his eldest daughter that frequently tells him that he is doing the wrong thing , and he continually shrugs off her warnings .
i suppose it 's important to admit that this is a funny film .
dreyfuss and elfman , and many of the contrived and insulting scenes , add up to a picture that is anything but boring .
and if you 're less serious than i , you probably will enjoy it .
i , however , ca n't get past these elements .
krippendorf 's tribe is being marketed as a family comedy , but this is the kind of film that teaches the kids of our society faulty lessons that they should n't be learning .
with a little more insight into its story and themes , this could have been a good movie .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: the happy bastard 's quick movie review
wild wild west
a better name for this movie might 've been " wild wild waste " .
warner bros .
, in an attempt to get their own men in black style of movie , had managed to lasso in some big names ( actor will smith and director barry sonnenfeld , the duo behind mib 's success ) in order to get their own fourth of july blockbuster , a contemporary big - screen update to the classic western / sci - fi series the wild wild west starring robert conrad .
but somehow , they ran into a problem along the way .
they were so busy trying to fill specific roles that they forgot one in general that would 've made all the difference- a story writer .
wild wild west 's story and script was compiled by six different people , rather than just the one who put the brilliant touches on men in black , ed solomon .
if warner bros .
had gotten him , the movie would 've possibly been five times better than what it is .
heck , ten times .
as is , however ,
the story and screenplay is a mess , filled with dead laughs , enough racist and sex jokes to make even will cringe as he 's performing them , and a complete lack of chemistry that made the tv show work so well .
here 's the story : us army member james west ( will smith
) teams up with creative genius artemus gordon ( kevin kline ) to take on a ruthless villain by the name of arliss loveless ( kenneth branagh ) , whose lower half was blown off during the civil war , leaving him to roll around in a steam - controlled wheelchair .
they catch onto a plot of his involving a superweapon that can basically be considered an 80-foot tarantula ( although it looks bigger than that ) , hellbent on destroying anything in its path .
as i said , the way the script unfolds is a complete mess .
but the acting does n't help either .
kevin kline is miserable as gordon , failing to display even a smidgeon of care as he did in the 1985 western silverado .
smith seems to be having a better time as west , although he 's not nearly as charming as he was in mib .
branagh goes excessively over the top as the villain , perhaps to the point where we ca n't even stand to look at him or his strange beard .
and salma hayek is along for the ride to search for her missing father , but mostly she exists just for sexual attention .
her acting is barely passable , but what a " breath of fresh ass " .
director barry sonnenfeld is n't of great help either .
even though he shows some good creativity at some points , his overall urgency for directing is lost .
it 's as if he feels he 's directing a tv movie , a big no - no when you 're helming what 's supposed to be a big - screen hit .
last but not least , there are huge gaps of logic that are just plain unacceptable
.
at one point , smith defies gravity when first boarding kline 's train .
he jumps on the back , gets launched straight up in the air , and somehow manages to land three cars ahead on the train- while it 's still in motion !
also , he seems to be strangely comfortable talking about racism in front of a lynch mob , particularly considering the fact that his family was killed by the likes of such folks .
last but not least , why is he still making kissing faces when he knows he 's not kissing a woman as he 's looking through a peephole at the enemy ? !
the only saving grace for wild wild west come mostly in the form of special effects .
the huge mechanical spider is a technical marvel , very authentic looking and considerable to the creativity of the show .
there 's also a good sequence involving metal magnet neckbraces and spinning saw blades , but , again , a logic question comes into play regarding their polarity .
i would say sit back and have a good time with wild wild west , but it really is n't possible .
if the racist and sex jokes do n't bother you , the performances will .
if the performances do n't bother you , the story will .
if the story does n't bother you , the racist and sex jokes will .
there 's no end to the vicious circle .
go rent men in black instead and pretend smith and tommy lee jones are wearing cowboy hats .
you 'll have a better time .
if you do go , keep an eye out for robert conrad in a role as president grant .
i bet he wishes he were somewhere else . . .

SOLUTION:
N