TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: there are two things the american film industry should avoid at all costs .
one is letting an ambitious actor convert one of his or her favorite novels into a feature film .
two is never greenlight a sci - fi film starring john travolta .
to wit , we present the disaster that is battlefield earth .
a science - fiction opus starring the barbarino of the actors guild , battlefield earth should be shown only at maximum - security prisons when a prisoner is tossed in solitary for bad behavior .
sci - fi is always a tricky beast : tight script , a good director , an ensemble cast of decent actors , and the ability to suspend even the most difficult of disbeliefs .
battlefield earth
fails at achieving even one of these attributes .
here 's the ` plot . '
the year is 3000 .
mankind has been become an endangered species thanks to the conquest of a race of aliens called the psychlos ( sounds like either the latest clown act from cirque de soleil or a white rap group ) .
a small band of humans dwell in radioactive caves located in the rockies in fear of the ` demons ' who dwell in the cities below .
the psychlos are strip - mining the earth for its resources and terel , played by travolta , is the head of security for the mining / slave base located in denver .
a young rogue named jonnie goodboy tyler , played with dramatic flair by barry pepper , ventures from the safety of the caves into the city to uncover the truth about the ` demons . '
he is promptly captured and taken to the alien base .
after several attempts at escape , johnnie is placed in the middle of an underhanded subplot of terel 's , involving circumventing gold from an exposed vein in the rockies to his own end .
jonnie , assumed leader of the mining slave group , then manages to attain all psychlo and human intelligence through
a learning machine terel forces him to use .
then the story just runs along until jonnie teaches the rest of the humans the basics of trigonometry , the bill of rights , how to use a machine gun , and how to fly a harrier jet .
the whole mess concludes with a big , loud , obnoxious gun - and - plane battle that had me praying for the end credits .
roger christian , the director of this lumbering beast , must have rented dune , blade runner , planet of the apes , independence day , stargate , beastmaster , the airwolf episodes , the ` v ' miniseries , the matrix , and the omega man . . . and decided to steal every scene he could for battlefield earth .
christian even shoots every scene in a weird dutch angle titled left or right for every frame of the movie !
and every scene in the movie ends with a middle wipe -- really .
the psychlos reminded me of a cross between jamaican basketball players with bad teeth and bloated hands and klingon extras working the star trek convention circuit .
travolta 's acting has n't been this bad since the experts or maybe perfect .
jonnie goodboy tyler evolves into william wallace with lines like
` you can have your freedom if you fight ! '
then there 's the script : the film just never convinces you that the plight of jonnie in teaching his fellow humans to fight and ` take back the planet ' would be a difficult task to achieve .
why ?
because terel provides all the necessary tools to incite a revolt -- for no particular reason beside the fact that ` humans are stupid . '
terel may be right , you know .
humans made this movie .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: one night , during a torrential downpour that flooded the streets , we went to see -- what else -- hard rain .
"
so , are we all going to die ?
"
the sheriff ( randy quaid ) asks in the story 's opening line as he evacuates his flooded town .
the answer is pretty much yes , but not nearly soon enough . and to add insult to injury , the supposedly dead , regretfully , often turn out not to be so . populating this bad tv - movie - of - the - week material are a host of talented actors .
one can only hope they were rewarded handsomely for acting in this hopelessly muddled picture .
besides the obvious hardships of acting most scenes while dog paddling in the water , they will all receive black marks on their records for appearing in this dismal movie .
graham yost 's script serves up one cliche after another for the actors , who thankfully managed to mumble quite a few of the lines .
director mikael salomon 's staging is so confusing that you may have trouble figuring out what is happening .
the befuddled presentation is exacerbated by peter menzies , jr .
's dark and ugly cinematography .
the plot concerns an armored car that gets stuck in the raging water .
onboard are guards tom and his uncle charlie .
christian slater , who is much better in his tender roles as in untamed heart , plays tom .
edward asner drops by briefly to take on the role of the soon to be dead charlie .
coming to their " rescue " is a gang headed by jim , played on autopilot by the great actor morgan freeman .
he views the loot , three million dollars worth , as his retirement plan .
the entire movie is one big watery chase with the sheriff and his posse tracking jim and his gang , who are in turn after tom .
along the way , tom picks up a love interest in the person of a crucifix - weapon wielding woman named karen , played in a totally wasted performance by minnie driver .
the action sequences are repetitive and without much interest .
they do feature lots of explosions and gunfire to keep you awake .
christopher young 's emotionless score
for the film has a single trait , ear - shattering loudness .
the plot holes are as big as the ones in the dam that breaks , submerging the town .
the characters have an infinite number of bullets and rarely do they have to bother reloading their guns .
the weapons and the ammunition spend most of the time under water or being rained on but always fire perfectly .
when one of the bad guys drops a gun into the water , it stays in the same place until much later when tom swims to get it , even though the swift water is so strong it is uprooting large trees .
counting these improbabilities is one of the more enjoyable ways to spend your time as you wait for the characters to kill each other .
the show has a single , but unprintable , good line .
betty white plays an incessantly bossy wife , and , when her hen - pecked husband finally told her off , our audience roared with laughter .
the show concludes with a sickening set of twists .
the best that can be said of the picture is that it is merely stupefyingly awful as opposed to laughably bad .
hard rain runs 1 : 37 .
it is rated r for violence and would be fine for teenagers .
( the two families behind us shockingly had a half - dozen preschoolers among them . )

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: a movie that 's been as highly built up as the truman show , with reviews boasting , " the film of the decade !
"
and " a breakthrough !
" can only be leading up to letdown .
that 's no doubt -- it seems any movie with critical acclaim makes you think you 're going in for the ride of your life , that you 'll end up changed on the other side , and you come out of the theater going , " eh . . .
*
that 's
* what all the fuss was about ?
"
so , naturally , the truman show was building up to what was going to be a dissapointment .
and i convinced myself , as i nestled into my uncomfortable movie theater chair , actually to try not to enjoy it .
let me tell you , that is an impossibilty .
the truman show is truly " the film of the decade " and " a breakthrough " and more .
and you will come out changed on the other side .
such a movie comes around only once in a lifetime , where you find yourself feeling everything that the character is feeling , and this , friends , is it .
jim carrey shows that he does n't need to talk out of his butt to entertain us ; that he can be as dramatic as any of hollywood 's leading men .
the film has a difficult premise to tackle , trying to set us up thirty years into the " truman show 's " run , but tackle it it does , and perfectly .
with flashbacks actually being flashbacks on the television show , you get the sense that you are viewing a * real * prime - time hit .
and the way the camera constantly takes the forms it would in the " real " truman show is clever and well - done .
people , rejoice !
this is the first oscar - worthy film of not only this year , but of the last five years .
not since " schindler 's list " has a movie captured human spirit and true despair so well
.
this is a classic in the making , and ( to borrow a line from esquire 's review ) it stars jim carrey .
nothing in his career to date and nothing he can do in the future will ever be able to top his role as truman burbank ; mark my word .
for , as i said , this is the movie of a lifetime and the role is of the same calibre .
forget special - effect ladden summer fodder .
drop your romantic comedies in the trash .
toss your thrillers and teen flicks on the pile .
you need nothing more than " the truman show " to carry you through the summer , or for that matter , the year .
oh !
and in case i do n't see you , good afternoon , good evening , and goodnight .

SOLUTION:
P