TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: phew , what a mess ! for his fifth collaboration with director
rich- ard donner ( lethal weapon i - iii , maverick )
, mel gibson plays a motormouth , maybe mentally ill new york city cabbie , jerry , whose wild conspiracy theories are all but ignored by alice ( julia roberts , acting all serious ) , the justice department employee that he has a crush on .
she not interested , but another person is : a cia psychiatrist ( patrick stewart ) who promptly kidnaps him .
is one of jerry 's conjectures correct ?
* is * the metal strip in the new $ 100 bill being used to track your movements ?
is oliver stone still alive , because he cut a deal with george bush to spread * dis * information ?
is this movie really about
* any * of the crazed cabbie 's theories ?
no , no ,
and no . as it turns out
, there 's some other nonsense going on here , involving and revolving around jerry 's background .
( hint : pay attention to an early scene where jerry blacks out and flashes back , in quick succession , to images of an interrogation room , hypodermic needles , and ms .
roberts herself . )
the * initial * premise is pretty good and is played , for a while , at a delightfully dizzying clip .
mel is wider - open that we 've ever seen him and , if his character 's relationship with roberts ' initially strains credibility , their combined star power is blissfully intoxicating .
( the highest wattage of the summer , perhaps ? )
even when the plot contrivances begin to intrude , the two remain a randy dandy screen pair .
there 's a great scene in jerry 's fortress , er , apartment , with alice trying to act casual as her hyperactive host tries to remember the combination to a locked coffee bean container .
( which he stores in another locked con- tainer , his fridge . )
other hilarious moments , of which there are many , include a trio of memorable convention - breakers , where alice ditches a tail , jerry cold - cocks someone , and , later , eludes a foot pursuit , each in a uproariously unexpected fashion .
( that 's donner 's own ladyhawke playing in the theater , btw . )
let 's see , other pleasures include .
. .
a brilliant title sequence , a jazzy score from carter burwell , and the worth - paying - to - see sight of roberts pumping lead into one bad guy and slamming another 's head into a wall .
oh , pretty woman !
getting to the latter , however , requires slogging through an increasingly overburdened and ultimately unappealing story .
the last hour of conspiracy theory devolves from tolerable to torturous to almost unwatchable .
more stuff happens of the stupid shit variety than is worth mentioning here , except , perhaps , for a late sequence that has alice locating jerry in an abandoned wing of a mental hospital by hearing his voice carrying through the air ducts .
and here i thought it was wabbit season .
good god , who rewrites these movies ? and
do they arrive in nondescript black vehicles ?

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: synopsis : al simmons , top - notch assasin with a guilty conscience , dies in a fiery explosion and goes to hell .
making a pact with malebolgia , a chief demon there , simmons returns to earth 5 years later reborn as spawn , a general in hell 's army donning a necroplasmic costume replete with knives , chains , and a morphing cape .
sullen , wise cogliostro and flatulating , wisecracking violator vy for spawn 's attention .
comments : when todd mcfarlane left marvel comics ( where he had made a name for himself as a first - rate comic book penciller on the " spider - man " titles ) to join the newly - formed , creator - owned image comics , a new comic book legend was born : spawn .
mcfarlane 's " spawn " immediately became a commercial and critical success and a defining comic book series of the 1990s .
mcfarlane created a hero who was not only original but visually intricate , allowing mcfarlane to utilize his knack for artistic detail to the max .
the early " spawn " issues brilliantly capture mcfarlane 's genius at illustration and show his early attempts at writing .
with the popularity of " spawn " and the success of the current warner bros . 's batman film franchise , a movie version of some sort seemed inevitable for spawn .
in the summer of 1997 , hence , new line cinema released spawn , a live - action film based on the groundbreaking series .
this topheavy exercise in violence and special effects
unfortunately topples quickly and leaves fans of the comic book , like me , numbed by how much spawn misses the mark .
what happened ?
why is spawn so bad ?
todd mcfarlane himself
executive produced this disappointing misfire and even appears in a cameo .
i do n't think , however , that his presence necessarily hurt ( or helped )
the film .
i place the blame , in part , on the recent hollywood trend , fueled by public demand apparently , for special effects blow - out movies utilizing the latest computer technology .
these films focus upon the effects at the expense of everything else : character , plot , dialogue , etc .
spawn , reflecting this trend , shows the audience one gratuitous scene after another populated with morphing characters and filled with unnecessary pyrotechnics .
hardly a minute goes by in this film without fires , explosions , knives and chains appearing out of nowhere , glowing eyes , or constantly transforming demons .
a lot of it is visually interesting and technically solid , do n't get me wrong , but , because the script and cast are n't engaging , spawn ultimately comes across like overwrought wallpaper ( the surface may capture the eye , but nothing exists underneath ) .
spawn 's translation of the comic book suffers the most at the storyline level .
mcfarlane 's spawn was a tortured hero .
a mercenary by trade , al simmons was nonetheless a warm man in love with the beautiful wanda .
having died and journeyed to hell , he made a pact to return to earth to be with wanda .
simmons , however , discovers that his memories are fragmented , his body a creepy mess , and his wife married .
despite his sometimes violent nature , readers could n't help but feel sympathetic toward his plight as the spawn of the underworld .
spawn attempts to show all of this but does not spend nearly the time it should to do so .
when the characters are developed , they seem absurd rather than touching .
the cartoonish dialogue and implausible subplot
( a general possesses the antidote to a supervirus called heat-16 which he wishes to unleash to enslave the world ) do not help matters .
spawn , in an apparent attempt to duplicate the success of batman , also unwisely spends too much time on a villain , the violator ( batman favored the joker over batman ) .
john leguizamo , like jack nicholson in batman , receives top billing in the cast as the violator ; michael jai white ( al simmons / spawn ) is second .
i ordinarily find leguizamo an intensely annoying presence in films which seems to make him a perfect candidate for the violator .
the film , however , spends so much time on the violator 's offensive antics that they grate on the nerves .
apparently meant to be the comic relief in the film ( as nicholson was in batman ) , especially when contrasted with the sullen spawn , the violator 's lines are oftentimes grotesque and unfunny , leaving the audience wishing he would leave .
leguizamo does a satisfactory job in the role , but he is seen far too often in the film .
michael jai white , a relative newcomer to theatrical releases , seems to be an appealing actor , and he handles his role adequately , but we see little of him without various masks on .
more time needed to be spent on white 's character before he became spawn for the movie to pull at the heartstrings .
a special note should be made about martin sheen as the over - the - top , obnoxious , evil general wynn .
easily the hammiest performance in the movie , it 's hard to imagine how sheen mucked up his role so much ; after all , he played a vietnam assasin brilliantly in the great apocalypse now .
sheen 's excessive demeanor do not help the audience accept him as a mastermind villain and comes as a surprise considering his extensive career in film .
many other elements conspire with the disappointing script and abundant special effects to drag spawn down
.
mtv - style , jerky , in - your - face editing is one of them .
flames , for example , roll across the screen sometimes to announce a shift in setting .
cogliostro , unlikely wannabe guide for spawn , serves as a poor narrator for the film .
he goofily tells the audience , at one point , that " how much of [ spawn 's ] humanity is left remains to be seen , " as if the audience really cares as one violent sequence leads to another .
the music , finally , assaults the audience as much as the manic violence and offensive dialogue .
loud and obnoxious hard rock fused with drum loops dominate some scenes .
to be fair , however , marilyn manson 's " long hard road out of hell
" effectively compliments spawn 's return to earth , while filter and the crystal method 's
" ( ca n't you ) trip like i do " proves a surprisingly fitting theme song .
for as good a comic book as it is , " spawn " did not spawn a good movie .
spawn , instead , suffers from too much pomp and circumstance , and too little plot and character development
.
it receives two stars for its technically well - done special effects .
many other films , though , have equal , if not superior , special effects and are much better .
rated pg-13 , spawn seems more violent than many r - rated movies and probably would n't be appropriate for the very young .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: well lets see . . .
i 'm not quite sure how to review this film , based on its laughter factor .
well
yeah
i can , it 's not funny .
ok so i laughed one time which warranted the 1/2 star , but other than that i sat in my seat wondering when this pos would be over , ( which at a running time of 107 minutes seemed like forever ! ) .
in fact , this could be the un - funniest movie i 've seen in a long time , if not the un - funniest
.
let me be the first to say " ready to rumble " is a huge disappointment .
long time wrestling lovers ( david and scott ) dream of making it to the wcw , and watching jimmy king wrestle .
that is their hero of course , whom is kicked out of the wcw .
well here is where the plot thickens ( lol ) : the two wish to rescue the king , and put him back into the wcw but not that easily , because they are being tampered with by many people who are out to get them , while david 's father wants him to become a police officer , and scott is a loser who has to with the help of david clean out johnny on the spots .
what a plot eh ?
" ready to rumble " is one of those films that tries to be funny , but
sadly fails miserably , everything in the film is imcomprehinsable , and even the trailer was n't funny .
the actors are dull , the script awful , and the plot which there is n't much of . . . .
really annoying .
i 'm not quite sure how great actors like these , and very funny actors too , are given such a lame script , and directed in such a childish manner , that i wonder if hollywood is ever gon na make good films these days .
this review is n't going to be very long because of the fact that there is n't much going for the film , if anything at all .
only one big laugh is in the film , which is n't all that hilarious .
i sat in my chair wondering with this 107 ( ! ! ! ! ! )
minute " comedy " was going to be over , and sadly it went on forever
.
i 'm not sure if anything could have saved this film from being such a total waste , but believe me you , it is .
reviewed by brandon herring 4/29/00 for more reviews please visit movie review central at http : //www .
geocities .
com
/ moviefan983/moviereviewcentral .
html

SOLUTION:
N