TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: the one question that eats at me after seeing corky romano is why touchstone spent so much money marketing this throwaway film .
since june , i have n't been able to turn on the tv or go to the movies without getting hit by some ad depicting chris kattan as the spastic corky , shrieking out a - ha 's " take on me " in his yellow miata .
why would disney sink so much cash into the corky hype machine ?
honestly , i was hoping that all the goofball ads were actually a front for a decently funny movie .
man , was i wrong .
corky romano is one of those throwaway , clich ?
-ridden
tv - star - to - film vehicles built upon the most rickety of plots .
fortunately for chris kattan 's precariously positioned career , corky does have some good laughs , even if most of them are of the lowest - brow variety
.
kattan plays the title character , the unsinkable assistant veterinarian corky who has a penchant for sunshiny ' 80s tunes , bright ties , and banal coffee mug slogans ( " you do n't have to be crazy to work here , but it sure helps . " ) .
when his mob boss dad ( peter falk ) is about to be put away on murder charges , his bungling , lughead brothers ( peter berg and chris penn ) rope in innocent , black sheep corky to infiltrate the fbi as an agent and steal the evidence .
predictably , hijinks ensue .
if the basic plot sounds bad , wait until you get into the inner - workings of this clunker .
the writers will amaze you with the depth of their inanity .
corky 's fbi agent identity is named corky pissant ( " that 's pronounced pees - ahn .
it 's french . " ) .
he becomes a first - rate agent by accidentally stumbling mr .
magoo - style onto the proper clues and talking his way in and out of situations , which plays like something out of a sitcom .
and not a good sitcom , i mean .
the romano family brothers even insult each other by farting in each other 's face .
and in a scene taken straight from there 's something about mary ,
corky gives a dachshund mouth - to - mouth resuscitation .
but it 's not a complete disaster .
the manic kattan does occasionally rescue some comic moments , including a bit featuring a cat in a fat suit named jesus and another involving schoolchildren , a german shephard , and a kilo of cocaine .
plus , berg -- whose career has obviously gone downhill since the last seduction and chicago hope -- gives a great turn as the illiterate brother paulie .
and , it 's nice to see that richard roundtree of shaft fame is getting work .
unfortunately for those out there who ca n't truly appreciate animal or fart jokes , corky wo n't have much to offer you .
so the next time one of those pesky ads appears on your tv , asking , " who is corky ?
"
you can simply reply , " who cares ? "

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: no , it is not a bad film , in fact
it is so good in achieving its purpose
, i actually wished for the film to end itself quickly .
event horizon is not your run - of - the - mill sci - fi film , i 'm sure many who have watched this will agree with me .
it is not even original in that sense , and it does borrow heavily from films like alien , hellraiser and even blade runner .
the magic of this film lies in its unorthodox setting and methodical build - up that makes it wonderfully horrifying .
the story brings us to the year 2050 , where space travel have since enormously progressed .
the event horizon is actually a ship built for a secret experimental purpose ; it has the ability to fold time and space thus making it possible for travelling distances not reachable in a man 's lifetime .
the ship disappeared as soon as it went into operation but after 7 years , it reappeared again within the orbit of neptune .
a search and rescue team led by miller ( fishburne ) is given the task to check for survivors of the event horizon .
the designer of the ship , dr .
weir ( neill ) follows along to satisfy his curiosity on what actually happened to his otherwise technologically impressive ship .
event horizon is a sci - fi horror film , much truer to the word than say , alien would ever be .
while in alien , the crew has to cope with a ferocious creature while encased within tight spaces , in event horizon , the forces which goes against the crew is undefined but yet so powerful and horrifying .
the story unfolds itself slowly and the suspense buildup is superb , up till the point where i really felt like saying out loud ` enough !
i ca n't stand this anymore ! ' .
there are more than enough jolts to send your adrenalin pumping overtime .
the story in itself is not exactly something very exciting and also , the acting is only at most , average by most commercial standards .
even so , the essence of horror is carried out very well in this film , thanks to its well - paced storytelling , disturbing set designs and some really gory sequences ( which incidentally , has been quite generously removed by our censorship board ) .
director paul anderson ( who did mortal kombat ) and his team of ` atmosphere ' creators have done well in keeping event horizon within the bounds of the term ` horror ' .
this picture did not do very well in the us box - office most probably for the dread - factor impact it has on most audiences ; people will not see it again and not many would recommend their friend to watch this .
although on the face of it , event horizon is mostly molded for mass - entertainment ; many thrills , spills and suspense to keep audiences in focus .
however , the offbeat horror element which it ultimately convey audiences is very disturbing .
my friend and i could not say a word to each other for quite a while after going through the ` experience ' of event horizon .
i guess it was just the immense feeling of dread which the film had cast upon us .
be forewarned , this film is not for the faint - hearted nor for pure entertainment . be prepared to be disturbed if you should decide to watch this film !
event horizon is highly recommended ? ?
but at your own risk !
it has been a long time since good - horror embraced the big screen , and event horizon is one .

SOLUTION: P

PROBLEM: i think maybe it 's time for the batman series to be put to rest .
not only has the first two films ' unsettling insight into what it would really take for someone to make himself into a " superhero " been abandoned , but this one throws any lingering realism out the window and goes for all - out camp with few traces of the self - mocking restraint of the relatively light - hearted third installment .
let me give you an example : in the first scene of the movie , batman ( george clooney ) and robin ( chris o'donnell ) are summoned to a museum that has been literally turned to ice by mr .
freeze ( arnold schwarzenegger ) in an attempt to steal a diamond .
mr .
freeze 's thugs are armed with none other than hockey sticks , but this is no problem for our heroes : automatic skates shoot out of their shoes , at which point robin manages to get hold of a hockey stick , grabs the diamond , and stick - handles it through the museum .
i might have expected this from an airplane - style farce , but i do n't think that 's what this movie is supposed to be . after all , the previous three batman movies were actually fairly realistic by the standards of the superhero / action genre and kept the corny death - defying stunts to a minimum , while playing the obligatory cheesiness with at least some amount of irony .
not any more ; the list goes on and on in this one .
robin holds onto the outside of a flying rocket ship 30 , 000 feet high in the atmosphere , climbing in the door to save batman .
mr . freeze and poison ivy ( uma thurman ) leap from a skyscraper and survive by landing in a small pond .
a world dominating mad scientist lives in a fortress that seems to have been stolen from the old he - man cartoons .
my very favorite example is the scene in which batgirl ( alicia silverstone ) gets in a race with motorcycle thugs , during which they come up with the clever notion of dousing the road with gasoline and setting it on fire to distract her .
not bad , but would n't the police ( or maybe batman ? )
notice if the road was on fire ?
i knew gotham city was this crazy anarchic place ,
but . . . . it also seems that the creators of the batman movies are obeying some unwritten rule that there have to be more main characters and plot lines in each successive installment .
as if three protagonists and two villains were n't enough , batman and robin
further weighs itself down with an underdeveloped side story of the failing health of bruce wayne 's butler alfred ( michael gough ) , which might have seemed poignant if it was n't surrounded by so much silliness , as well as several scenes with elle macpherson as bruce 's girlfriend which serve no purpose other than to remind us that she is in the movie .
all this might be semi - excusable if the story were interesting and entertaining , but it is n't . in fact ,
it 's kind of boring
.
mr . freeze and poison ivy pale in comparison as villains to past baddies such as jack nicholson 's joker and danny devito 's penguin .
their evil plot is as predictable ( schwarzenegger actually pronounces the words , " today gotham city , tomorrow the world ! " ) as it is lame - brained
( did n't it ever occur to poison ivy that freezing the entire world would kill her precious plants too ? ) .
and robin 's constant challenging of batman
mostly just makes him look bull - headed and stupid and makes us wonder why batman ever would have taken him on as a partner in the first place .
strip away the stars , the fancy set design , and the status as a " batman movie , " and all you have here is another barely passable summer action flick .

SOLUTION:
N