TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: suicide is pointless , everyone should know that .
so what 's this movie like ?
you guessed it . .
. pointless .
the virgin suicides focuses on the lives of the five lisbon sisters , from the perspective of the teenage boys who are fascinated by them .
when the youngest lisbon sister commits suicide , it sets in motion a series of events that will change the lives of many people forever .
that 's what the press materials for the film probably say .
now here 's what i say : the virgin suicides is a huge waste of time . boring , arty , pretentious junk
that is about as entertaining as .
. .
well as committing suicide .
the movie lost me early on , immediately following the scene where the younger daughter jumps to her death from her bedroom window .
the girl 's father ( james woods ) holds her lifeless body in his arms as their horrified family looks on .
then , as the scene ends , the lawn sprinklers come on .
is that a joke ?
is that supposed to be amusing in some way ?
from then on , the movie failed to draw me back in .
performances are the only saving grace of the virgin suicides .
woods plays the only character who would actually interest me when he came onscreen , but the performance of kirsten dunst as the next youngest daughter lux is worth mentioning as well .
dunst has the potential to be a big star , if she chooses her projects well .
and while
this film is awful , she manages to come away from it virtually unscathed .
there are also a few cameos in the film here and there , which only frustrate the audience as they leave you wanting more . as a result , they all seem rather pointless
( although there 's a brief role given to michael pare from eddie and the cruisers which turns out to be his best role since . . . well since eddie and the cruisers ) . perhaps the virgin suicides would have worked had the story not been told from the point of view of people who had very little access to the main characters .
we never get any significant insight into the girls and why they might be feeling what they 're feeling .
all we really know is that mrs .
lisbon ( kathleen turner ) is strict and keeps them on a short leash .
what mother does n't ?
it 's certainly no reason to commit suicide .
with the godfather part iii , sofia coppola proved that she had no business being in front of the camera .
with the virgin suicides ,
she proves she has no business behind it either .
having family connections does n't entitle you to be allowed to make movies .
so attention film directors . .
. stop letting your daughters pout their way into the industry .
just because they share your dna does n't mean they share your talent .
[ r ]

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: stendhal 's syndrome : a condition where , in the presence of art , a person becomes engulfed in a painting and hallucinates and may afterwards suffer symptoms such as depression , suicidal behaviour and personality disorder .
grim stuff , to be sure , but the subject of a remarkable film from italy 's master of the horror thriller dario argento . boasting an unforgettable soundtrack from the grandfather of film music ennio morricone
, the stendhal syndrome is a quite magnificent return to form for argento .
it follows his disappointing american debut trauma ( 1992 ) , the patchy opera ( 1987 ) and several mediocre films he produced for young italian director michele soavi in the late 1980 's .
based on the novel by graziella magherini , the film stars argento 's daughter asia as young roman police inspector anna manni in pursuit of a brutal rapist - killer .
visiting florence to follow up several leads , she is lured by the killer alfredo ( thomas kretschmann ) to an art gallery , a favourite haunt where he hopes to identify exactly who is on his tail .
at the gallery anna is overwhelmed by a painting and faints .
posing as a bystander , alfredo briefly comes to her aid and having now identified his pursuer , a strange game of cat and mouse begins .
a gripping story evolves , and a coherent one , too , which may surprise those familiar with argento 's often lumpy narratives .
the stendhal syndrome is not a simple cop - hunting - killer scenario .
it is a disturbing and often compelling study of the central character 's psychological disintegration .
the script explores its psycho - sexual themes with intelligence and candour , perhaps too much so for more sensitive viewers .
but as dark as its themes are , the stendhal syndrome emerges as one of the most artful and effective european thrillers of the last ten years .
argento is once again working in his native italy , and he fully exploits the opportunities to use art and architecture for both symbolic statements and as departure points for several brilliant hallucinogenic sequences . effects whiz sergio stivaletti serves his director well here , and the cinematography by giuseppe rotunno is consistently excellent .
the film 's opening 20 minutes segues between hallucination , flashback and real - time with tremendous style .
proof that , at his most inspired , argento remains one of the world 's most exhilarating filmmakers .
the cast is generally good , though marred at times by dubbing into english that renders speech all but emotionless .
asia argento 's performance is by turns risky , awkward and fascinating .
it 's a difficult role , and given her relative inexperience on screen
she deserves applause for her efforts .
thomas kretschmann is chillingly effective as alfredo , and marco leonardi ( of cinema paradiso , and possibly the most gorgeous looking man in italy ) does okay as anna 's work colleague and increasingly confused love interest .
but perhaps the stendhal syndrome 's single most striking element is ennio morricone 's soundtrack .
active since the 1960 's
, morricone has scored over 100 films in his career and this must rate as one of his finest efforts .
it 's mostly a variation on the one theme : a slow circular melody for strings and wordless female vocal possessed with an extraordinary , haunting beauty that lingers long afterwards .
it 's been three decades since argento and morricone worked together .
this is a long welcome reunion .
if the film has a fault , it is that the last half hour drags a little and the film does n't quite reach a completely satisfying climax .
but by the closing scenes , the stendhal syndrome has already offered us enough to qualify as one of the very best films of dario argento 's career .
* note : see the uncut print from japanese laserdisc if you can .
dubs of this version are available from various video dealers on the world wide web .

SOLUTION: P

PROBLEM: carry on at your convenience is all about the goings - on in the factory of a toilet manufacturer , wc boggs ( kenneth williams ) .
once they have won an order to manufacture 1000 bidets in two months and charles coote ( charles hawtrey ) has designed a suitable model , the factory employees set to work but are interrupted by union representative vic spanner ( kenneth cope ) and friend bernie hulke ( bernard bresslaw ) who call them out on strikes on the slightest pretext .
meanwhile , chief foreman sid plummer ( sid james ) is growing tired of his wife beattie ( hattie jacques ) and her budgie .
he would much rather live next door with fellow boggs worker chloe moore ( joan sims )
but once he discovers that the budgie can predict the winners of horse races , he is over the moon and flush with money .
his daughter , myrtle plummer ( jacki piper ) , is going out with wc 's son lewis boggs ( richard o'callaghan ) and this causes conflict on the staff day out to the seaside when vic spanner vies for her attentions .
in the end , if the strike does not cease , boggs will have to close down his factory , but the support of a group of women led by coote 's wife - to - be and spanner 's mother , agatha spanner ( renee houston ) , try to resolve the situation .
also , sid realises that his budgie has caused him nothing but trouble since it started predicting horse race winners .
there are some good performances , as usual , from sid james and kenneth williams in their standard roles .
charles hawtrey is third billing but only appears in a few scenes .
his part is mildly amusing .
richard o'callaghan is appealing as bogg 's stuck - up son , patsy rowlands is funny as miss withering , bogg 's assistant , and renee houston is terrific in her small part as agatha .
however , sole acting honours go to hattie jacques as beattie plummer .
although her character is not directly involved with the main storyline , she manages to input a great deal of pathos and feeling into her character .
a marvellous performance from a marvellous actress .
the film suffers from annoying performances by bernard bresslaw and especially kenneth cope .
in his carry on debut , cope
overdoes his role as spanner making him so annoying as to be unfunny .
joan sims returns as the love interest ( instead of barbara windsor ) .
sims ' ' usual ' part as the downtrodden wife was taken by hattie jacques .
additionally , bill maynard as fred moore is very poor .
this carry on movie tries it best to entertain the viewer : - the locations and wealth of characters are appealing . however ,
the toilet humour becomes tiresome very quickly and some of the performances leave a lot to be desired .
this movie does not know where it is going .
it was made in 1971 and talbot rothwell the scriptwriter seems to be in two minds whether to go for ' bluer ' jokes or to maintain the ' innocent ' jokes success of most of its predecessors .
that is why this film suffers .
a minor carry on film whose major asset is the performance by hattie jacques .
the new ' minor - regulars ' such as o'callaghan and piper are not able to enliven the movie and the toilet humour becomes humourless after a while .

SOLUTION:
N