TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: linda fiorentino disappeared off the radar after a deservedly heralded turn in the cable pic the last seduction , and her being cast as dogma 's lead is nothing short of inexplicable .
she 's still in fine form
as bethany , an abortion clinic worker who 's lost her faith .
one night , a visitor from heaven makes a fiery entrance in bethany 's bedroom .
he is metatron ( alan rickman ) , the voice of god , and he needs her help : she must stop two fallen angels from entering a new jersey church - the fate of the universe depends on it .
god would do it him / herself , but he /
she is . . .
missing , having taken up human form somewhere on earth never to be heard from again .
bethany is joined on her road trip to the garden state by the " prophets " jay ( jason mewes ) and silent bob ( kevin smith , doing double - duty ) , the slacker minstrels who have appeared in all of smith 's films thus far .
at some point , rock drops naked out of the sky as rufus , the undocumented ( and very black ) " thirteenth apostle " , and offers his assistance , as does divine stripper serendipity ( salma hayek ) .
it 's a wild ride .
they 're in pursuit of loki and bartleby ( damon and affleck , respectively - this is probably the sharpest either has ever been ) , who were banished from heaven to wisconsin and have discovered a dogmatic loophole that will enable their return .
loki decides to wreak havoc along the way with the knowledge that his sins will be absolved at the pearly gates .
at one point , he terrorizes a boardroom full of suits with an angry combination of words and bullets .
it 's a nasty , guiltily enjoyable little scene that asks , " how corrupt are you ? " .
wings of desire
this ai n't .
since debuting with clerks , smith has grown as a director , particularly in terms of working with actors .
( chris rock is this film 's only weak link - between jokes , he 's wooden . )
his no - frills visual style has n't changed much over the years , though ( dogma 's widescreen compositions at least have blockbuster affectations ) , nor has his writing - his characters still sit around delivering one caustic , hilarious speech after another .
dogma chips away at big religious issues - namely , the hypocrisy that accompanies any organized system of beliefs - eloquently and articulately , but a few of the monologues sound too much like blatant exposition .
as well , the verbal introduction of each new person seems to take forever .
any movie with this much weighty talk would have a hard time maintaining momentum ( hurlyburly , anyone ? ) , and eventually dogma 's pacing goes slack .
a long diatribe from bartleby late in the game , in which he laments the destiny of celestial beings , comes at a point when we 've heard enough .
because his change of heart ( bartleby is initially the good cop to loki 's bad ) drives the climax , said rant is given a great deal of screen time .
sure , affleck deserved a big moment ( damon steals their scenes together prior ) , but it ultimately makes the film and us feel bloated .
like tarantino , smith was a video - age sponge who became a sample - mad indie filmmaker .
dogma pays welcome homage to an eclectic batch of movies , including indiana jones and the last crusade , with silent bob doing his best harrison ford , and weird science - a shit demon attacks our heroes !
smith also has a kitchen sink brand of humour : his dexterous maneuvering between the satirical ( a cardinal played by george carlin attempts to mount a publicity campaign with the slogan " catholicism
wow ! " )
and the scatalogical ensures that no lover of comedy will leave
dogma feeling malnourished .
i bust
( ed ? )
a gut on several occasions .
proceedings also get off on the right foot with the opening with
the funniest disclaimer ever .
it 's a disclaimer unlikely to put protestors at ease , for to read it , one actually has to see dogma .
the prerelease ballyhoo is in the tradition of the last temptation of christ 's , martin scorsese 's 1988 adaptation of nikos kazantzakis ' controversial novel , in that it is not directly linked to the picture 's content but to rumours and heresy .
there 's a famous anecdote about fletch director michael ritchie inviting picketers of the last temptation of christ into a screening on his dime , just so they could know for certain what they were rallying against .
( not one of them had watched it . )
every single person refused .
smith and scorsese have a lot in common , and so do the two films in question , because both smith 's bethany and scorsese 's jesus are hollow shells without their faith .
in fact , dogma 's denouement ( which follows a thrilling showdown that 's worth the wait ) is a catholic love - in , a veritable recruitment poster .
( i felt sentimental about a religion i do n't belong to .
now that 's powerful filmmaking . )
smith is nothing if not sincere about his own devotion to god , and that spirituality shines through
.
it 's enough to make me forgive dogma for its editorial sins .
my religion is movies .
when the catholic league beats on dogma for imaginary crimes against a doctrine , in a roundabout way they 're attacking what i live for : freedom of expression through celluloid .
i therefore feel that , although i 'm no bible - thumper , i 'm at least as qualified to criticize dogma as william donohue and his followers .

SOLUTION: P

PROBLEM: this is the worst movie i 've viewed so far in 98 .
the avengers = silly = man dressed in a bowler hat + woman wearing tight leathers
> evil scientists dressed in teddy bear suits + greater evil , sir august de wynter wearing kilt .
the question is what could have gone wrong with a potentially great idea with big name cast ?
the same question was probably asked of last year 's stinker batman and robin .
i feel the production got a little too smug ,
the script a little to smart and direction was somehow lost in the chaos of random events that collided together to form a movie .
my greatest criticism rests on the fact that there was no chemistry between emma peel and john steed ( thurman and fiennes ) ?
something that was a vital element of the 60 's tv serial of the same name .
the dialogue goes on and on about tea and other finer british perks , but does not allow much room for character development and interaction , except to perhaps grate on the viewer 's nerves .
one wonders why the dynamic pair bother kissing in the end except for pure english formality .
connery as sir august , does not fair better than thurman or fiennes .
his dialogue is as erratic as stormy weather , mostly embarrassing and poor quality .
if there is a movie you would prefer never to see , i believe the avengers would be a good choice .
for one thing , you will not have to witness a product that is far inferior to the three high profile names that is associated with the title .
i can not understand how something
so poorly produced could have been released , but i put it down to one of those freak happenings in nature , like lightning you ca n't see it coming until it hits you .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: if you want some hearty laughs , then rat race is the movie for you .
this unpretentious little comedy , which sneaks into theaters today with very little hype ,
will have you bouncing in your theater seat .
and while the film fits neatly into the low - brow , slapstick school of comedy , one refreshing aspect is its lack of mean - spiritedness .
the plot follows a group of people chosen at random by an eccentric las vegas casino owner ( john cleese ) who must race from vegas to a bus station locker 700 miles away in silver city , n .
m .
inside the locker is a duffel bag containing $ 2 million .
the first one to open the locker , gets the bag and the money .
what the group of participants does n't know is that cleese 's donald sinclair ( " i can do anything i want -
i 'm eccentric ! " ) is staging the race as a betting game for a group of high rollers at the hotel .
the participants include vera ( whoopi goldberg ) and merrill ( lanai chapman ) , a newly reunited mother and daughter ; disgraced pro football referee owen templeton ( cuba gooding jr . ) ; italian tourist mr .
pollini ( rowan atkinson ) ; randy pear ( jon lovitz ) and his family ; the bumbling con men duane and blaine cody ( seth green and vince vieluf ) ; and cynical young lawyer nick shaffer ( breckin meyer ) .
various amusing encounters and mishaps befall the participants en route to silver city .
screenwriter andy breckman adds a nice touch by not having the racers try to sabotage one another .
the most side - splitting situations involve vera and merrill 's encounter with the squirrel lady , a nice nutsy cameo by kathy bates ; owen 's commandeering a charter bus full of lucille ball look - alikes on their way to a lucy convention ; the cody brothers misadventures with a hot - air balloon , a flying cow and a monster truck ; and the pear family 's stopover at a barbie museum , which turns out not to be what they think it is .
the pear family situation is a fine example of the way breckman 's script builds the laughs .
without going into detail , this bit segues from the museum to hitler 's touring car , to eva braun 's dark lipstick , to lovitz burning his tongue , culminating at a ceremony honoring world war ii veterans .
rat race 's cast is first rate .
cleese is wonderfully devilish and madcap ; lovitz is , at first , a bit whiny , but his character grows on you ; gooding is having a fine romp ; and dave thomas almost steals the show as cleese 's deadpan assistant , a man " born without a personality .
"
the film is directed by jerry zucker , who knows something about comedy
.
along with his brother , david , and friend jim abrahams , he was responsible for such hits as airplane ! and ruthless people .
a throwaway subplot , which is good for some laughs , features cleese and his buddies , betting on a series of outlandish situations , including one dealing with a hooker and pepto - bismol .
this is a fun little feature .
the only letdown comes at the finale , which is too touchy - feely and sweet , almost negating what came before it .
rat race is a summer sleeper , but it will keep you awake , as will the laughter of those watching around you .

SOLUTION:
P