TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: i do n't expect much from eddie murphy these days .
for the past four years , the gods of cinema -- or the expansive payrolls of studio conglomerates -- have allowed him to make one bad movie after another .
such films as metro , doctor dolittle , holy man , life , and bowfinger have reduced a once great comedic persona to a living and breathing washed - up hack performing as a studio puppet for 20th century fox and universal pictures .
the biggest shame to fall on his shoulders is his newest film , nutty professor ii : the klumps .
the klumps once again revisits the life of sherman klump , an overweight university science professor looking for love in all the wrong places .
sherman has just invented a new " youth drink " that enables man or beast to become younger for a short period of time .
janet jackson is the love interest who chooses the lovable sherman for a soul mate rather than excel at her career as a university professor ( and for the most ridiculous reasons ) .
with love on his mind , sherman is determined to rid himself of his alter ego , buddy love from the first professor , who still resides with vigor inside his psyche and causes sherman to act like a bad imitation of vince vaughn from swingers .
with some convoluted mumbo - jumbo about dna extraction , sherman extracts the " buddy love " link in his dna and smartly deposits buddy into a handy - dandy lab beaker .
but one night , the beaker is knocked over and buddy love is regenerated . . .
because every movie like this needs an unnecessary villain to thwart the good guy .
then the klump family , all played by eddie murphy , step in for some comedic relief involving old people having sex , flabby breasts , a slew of fart and dick jokes , and enough fat people jokes that i lost count after the first thirty minutes .
and did i mention the part where larry miller gets anally raped by an overgrown hamster ?
the movie finally dissolves into a really bad hallmark family special about realizing who you are and what you can be in this world -- with enough soft lighting and people on the verge of tears in every scene .
pure and simple ,
the klumps is a failure .
its script was handled by not one but five screenwriters , and it really shows during the awkward transitions between scenes .
any sense of story and plot were lost in the rewrite process .
it 's more discerning to learn that chris weitz and paul weitz , the team behind one of the funniest films of the last decade , american pie , have their names stamped to this trash .
hey guys - quick
note - keep this movie off of your resumes .
the characterization of sherman 's family , the klumps , is one of the most ignorant stereotypes of a black family i have ever seen in cinema .
everyone member of the family is a large person who wipes the bins clean at a local buffet restaurant like pigs at a trough .
the grandma is an oversexed fiend who constantly talks of ways to pleasure her man and her sagging breasts .
the father is gruff , is fired from a blue - collar job , is sexually inadequate , and can not communicate with his family about his feelings .
the mother is ignorant of all the negativity around her and seems to hold no opinion about anything or anyone .
the brother is silent and brooding and resembles the ice cube gangster character from boyz in the hood .
sherman himself is terribly insecure and never conveys anything for the audience to become attached to .
but the main problem with the film is its inability to create any type of convincing conversational or situational comedy .
the family scenes from the first nutty professor worked so well because their conversations were short and direct .
and you got the feeling that these crass people could n't act like this all the time .
the sequel does the reverse and drives the negatives of the klumps right in to the hilt , making the first five minutes of their interaction enjoyable and the last 55 or so unbearable and pathetic .
after a while , their conversations just become a barrage of frustrated anger tinged with indecency and overworked premises that end up drawing energy away from any type of empathy one might feel for the central themes of the story .
its also a damn shame that the makeup magic of rick baker -- who worked on the original nutty professor and won an academy award for his work on an american werewolf in london -- and amazing digital special effects that enabled murphy to interact with himself in such beautiful motions are built around such a lame story line .
even the best effects ca n't seem to save the most pathetic of movies these days .
now that i think about it ,
the worst thing about this film has to be all the money that it will make .
people will be lined up around the block for it .
the studios will concoct the a sequel for release in the summer of 2002 .
eddie murphy will be signed up to take not just one role or five roles , but he 'll play every character in the movie .
i just ca n't wait to see eddie murphy in a love scene with himself .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: depending on who you ask , the original sin was either the eating of the apple , the act of disobedience against god , or the act of betrayal .
but in case you did n't know this , do n't bother remembering it . . .
the words " original sin " never come up in the movie of the same name , let alone the concept of it .
the closest the film even gets to catholicism is in its narrative ( the story is told by angelina jolie to her priest while on death row in cuba , circa 1900 ) .
regardless of its senseless title , original sin does actually have a plot ( albeit
one of the most mangled acts of screenwriting
since the art of war , based on the book waltz across darkness ) .
boy ( antionio banderas ) places personal ad sometime around 1900 , searching for a wife .
since this is a century ago , we narrowly dodge a remake of green card , only to find that the girl ( jolie ) faked her photo and is actually beautiful .
skipping a few moderately useless sex scenes ( getting the question out of the way , yes , we get to see angelina jolie 's breasts again ) , the girl turns out to be a con artist , swindles boy for his money , and heads for the hills .
original sin then briefly tries to be a thriller .
we see boy go whore - chasing , saying he wants to find girl and kill her .
but as soon as boy actually finds girl , instead of following what might have been
a promising ( or at least not completely fucking boring ) thriller , the film degenerates into the worst dissection of the virgin / whore complex since milk money .
girl toys with the idea of reforming her con - girl past , all the while avoiding the " other man , " a lover that keeps making her start these scams in the first place . add insult to injury with some of the worst stylistic choices in cinematic history ( literally half of the film is either in slow motion or uses a strobe effect ) , and acting roughly the caliber of a b . b . gun , and original sin is one of the most torturous films of the summer , definitely front running to make my bottom ten of the year .
do n't even bother with original sin , but if you do go , be honest with yourself and admit its pure sex appeal .
just keep in mind that although this film may not be the most original on the block , it 's much worse than a sin .
this is sacrilege .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: razor blade smile running as part of the vancouver international film festival played october 2nd and 4th , 1998 .
official release : halloween reviewed by vince yim
` you think you know all about vampires . . .
believe me . . .
you know f
* ck all . '
with these words , we are brought into the world of a sultry vampire seductress by the name of lilith silver ( played by eileen daly ) .
made into an immortal a century and a half ago by the sinister ethan blake , she continues to alleviate boredom with her state of being .
so , what 's an undead girl to do , except squeeze into the tightest fitting clothes possible , get out her guns , seduce a few guys , and kill a few people for money and blood ?
with that out of the way , let me say this .
this film is bad .
this film is really , really bad .
yet somehow , it is strangely enjoyable .
with all the elements of a direct to video horror flick ?
buxom babes , gore , cheesy dialogue , and bad acting ?
any casual film viewer would be more inclined to spend their money on renting innocent blood or going to see blade .
still , it is considered to be one of the finest british vampire film .
agreed , it might be , but is far from being the best vampire flick ever . period .
razor blade smile has some rather high production values , shown by the nice overall tone to the film .
the film is also a bit of a departure from popular vampire lore , with a vampire that can go out in broad daylight without disintegrating , does n't sleep in a coffin ( but leaves one next to her computer ) , and sees religion as the ` opium of the peoples ' ( hence , immunity to crosses ) .
but aside from that , it does n't stray too far away from horror film conventions .
that is , unless that is intentional .
razor blade smile literally goes for the throat , then pumps the wound full of processed cheese .
you ca n't help but laugh when a female vampire gets decapitated and her severed head goes flying into a puddle .
you 'll laugh even harder at the hideously contrived situations ( to distract two female guards , lilith tosses a cellular phone towards them and dials the number ) .
you 'll laugh the hardest when a murder witness recants the tale and suddenly starts sobbing uncontrollably .
and then , there 's the sudden twist ending ( i have enough heart not to give it away ) .
the film refuses to take itself seriously , which is a good thing , as by the time lilith zips up her skin - tight body suit and then unzips it just to show the right amount of cleavage , you 've most likely forgotten the main point of the story .
but in case you really care , she 's been assigned to kill a bunch of people who belong to the so - called illuminati , and she 's leaving a huge mess behind for the police to find . as much as my criticisms , this movie works best as a guilty pleasure or as a film that you watch with your friends and within groups .
almost destined for cult - status , the film 's campy , cheesy overtones
actually work towards the film .
while this may not necessarily be the film you 'd want to be seen watching by yourself , it makes for a fun time at the movies .

SOLUTION:
P