In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.

[EX Q]: *
* * the following review contains some harsh language . . .
but what did you expect when you clicked on this title ?
*
*
* cast : kristen holly smith , danica sheridan , alex boling , michael dotson , sonya hensley , janet krajeski ,
sabrina lu , dionysius burbano , calvin grant , jeff b .
harmon written and directed by : jeff b .
harmon running time : 97 minutes " the thought of losing you
makes me all vomity inside .
"
--- blatz balinski ( danica sheridan ) laments the fact that her lesbian lover , april ( kristen holly smith ) , has just received a telegram from her ex - fiance .
isle of lesbos is an incredibly offensive musical comedy about april pfferpot ( smith ) , a resident of the small town of bumfuck , arkansas who is about to get married to high school
sweetheart and football hero dick dickson ( michael dotson ) .
when april gets extreme cold feet she runs home , sticks a gun in her mouth , and pulls the trigger .
instead of killing herself , she is magically transported through her mirror into the isle of lesbos , an alternate dimension where lesbians rule and no men are allowed ( except for lance , the homosexual toilet cleaner / slave ) .
april loves her new home and friends , but dick and her parents are not so ready to give her up .
mr .
and ms .
pfferpot ( director jeff b . harmon and janet krajeski ) decide they need medical help
so they enlist the aid of dr .
sigmoid colon ( also jeff b . harmon ) , who claims he can cure homosexuality .
in actuality , dr .
colon is homosexual as well and begins his special " treatment " on dick dickson ( unbeknownst to dick ) .
when april turns down dick 's demand for her to return to bumfuck , he decides to take matters in his own hands and attack the isle of lesbos rambo - style .
instead of leveling the place he falls in love with lance ( alex boling ) and the two of them , along with april and her lover blatz , get married .
( note to the filmmaker : why did the character of lance make asides to the camera followed by silence that i 'm assuming was inserted for the purpose of waiting until the laughter of the audience had subsided ? )
april 's parents , feeling like there is no recourse , call in a favor to president clinton and send a nuclear bomb ( whose circuitry inexplicably is made up of a homosexual performer ) their way .
the bomb is a dud thanks to the work of the " circuitry " and they re - wire it and send it back to washington d .
c .
, destroying it .
mr .
and ms .
pfferpot give up trying to get their daughter back and instead decide to join her as they have some alternative sexual practices of their own .
i 'm not sure if writer / director / co - star jeff b .
harmon was purposely trying to offend people because he believes in some of the ideas his movie presents or if he was just going for cheap laughs .
either way , he manages to present some of the most offensive material i have ever seen in a movie .
the film opens with a preacher running a small african - american child out of town , and then later moves on to the hanging of a michael jackson impersonator by the ku klux klan ( during a jaunty musical number ) , preceded by remarks about " gays and straights finally being able to put their differences behind them and work together to hate others , such as the jews " .
if harmon was merely trying to point out how idiotic society can be , then i apologize for being so harsh on elements of his film , but it is presented so mean spiritedly that i ca n't help but feel like he had some serious intent .
as for the entire central theme of the movie , i 'm afraid that it 's one that i just do n't get .
i tried to keep an open mind while watching it , but the homosexual elements were just too prevalent for my tastes .
it was hard enough to watch them bash other races and sexes without them preaching about the virtues of being homosexual and accepted by society .
how does one expect to be accepted if they are just as guilty of non - acceptance ?
i 'm not prone to judging anyone and i believe that people should be free to explore whatever avenues they wish free from the scornful eye of society , but do n't force your particular rhetoric down my throat if you are n't going to show the same respect for my preferences that you wish from me .
again , maybe i 'm missing the satirical point that harmon is trying to make , but if so , i think it could have been handled a little more tactfully . as far as musical comedies go , isle of lesbos is no trey parker and matt stone musical , but a good portion of the songs are maddeningly catchy .
despite the disturbing visuals , " mom and apple pie " stuck with me for the rest of the day .
speaking of disturbing visuals , " wedding bells ai n't ringing " could have been a decent song , but the accompanying visuals of spousal abuse are more harrowing than this film should be displaying .
"
i 'm a lesbian " ( which is touted in the press release as being particularly popular ) is also pretty good , but a good portion of that could be due to the stellar singing voice of ms .
smith .
it 's mainly on her excellent vocals that my rating of this film is based .
the other performers are decent , save for the rosie o'donnell like performance given by danica sheridan .
i have no inherent problem with her character ; it is just her singing voice that leaves little to be desired .
one particular musical number , " lesbian rock " , was one of the lowest points i have ever experienced in my film - going life thanks to a strained and lackluster vocal job by sheridan .
the film ends about twenty minutes before the credits actually roll .
the remainder of the running time is padded out with a few more songs ( " lesbian rock " included ) and the ridiculously presented anti - nukes message tacked on to the end for no reason other than to make it a feature length film .
once the " isle of lesbos reprise " was reached , i felt the story had already been wrapped up well enough to end it all .
why was the film needlessly stretched out past its obvious end ?
isle of lesbos is available on videocassette from www .
indie - underground .
com .
the transfer is pretty clean ( and all the detail of the wrinkled cloth and paint backdrops are readily apparent ) and the film is letterboxed at approximately 1 .
85 : 1 .
in many respects , isle of lesbos has incredible cult potential ( like a rocky horror for the new millennium ) .
this film is by no means my cup of tea , but i know there are those out there who will enjoy it . if you think it might be for you , then by all means seek it out .
i , on the other hand , will be cleansing my palette with a good action film like gladiator . . .
wait .
are n't gladiator films considered to be . . .
oh , never mind .
[EX A]: N

[EX Q]: studio 54 attracted so many weird and bizarre people to its gates that it 's a wonder why the film about the life and death of the studio centers itself on one very boring , cliched individual , not to mention an ensemble of people who would n't be at all fascinating unless they worked at the studio , which they did according to this film .
are we supposed to believe that out of all the strange folk who populated the studio nightly , that a character who is a bland ripoff of tony manero would really make a good protagonist for the film about it ?
" 54 " belongs in the elite group of films known as " the big disappointments " : the films that attain so much hype and/or so much potential in its creation that they come off worse than they are when they are finally finished .
i was heavily awaiting " 54 , " not the least because i 've become fascinated with the infamous club , which has been the subject of an engrossing documentary that 's been running all summer on vh1 , which is , weirdly enough , much more intriguing and engrossing than this " edgy " film .
perhaps more importantly , " 54 " is part of the blossoming subgenre , " the 70s nostalgia film , " which has been picking up mighty steam , what with " boogie nights " and " the last days of disco " coming out within the year , and both being such damn good movies that not only captured the feel of a certain time period ( the late 70s party and the early 80s wakeup period ) , but brought us interesting and real characters , like scotty , the tragically gay boom mike operator from " boogie nights , " and charlotte , the ironically clueless and bitchy co - protagonist from " the last days of disco , " not to mention several others .
"
54 " deals not so much with the timeline of the studio ( how it began , how it was run , how it ended ) - that 's all dealt with in the narrated opening and finale - but more interested in the characters who populated it .
this is a definite plus .
here 's a film that could have been a fascinating 2 hour plus film about the tragic people who went there to party , and had to wakeup in the 80s when things like diseases , economy problems , and perhaps worst of all , reagan , all hit and forced everyone into a rude awakening .
the story of the studio is tragedy in itself : let 's look at how it all affected the people .
but this film does n't let that happen .
it gives us a half - assed protagonist named shane o'shea ( ryan phillippe , from " i know what you did last summer " ) , who 's
chief character trait is the fact that he 's from new jersey , which also happens to be his chief character flaw ( i guess ) .
he 's dim - witted , into being part of " the scene , " and soon finds he 's become a bit of a rave amongst the studio regulars .
. .
a bit like " saturday night fever , " ' cept no travolta and no real interest put into him .
poor , poor phillippe struggles to make him interesting , but
all he is a half - assed character and not at all our ticket to the glimpse of the decadence going on inside the club that he could have been .
shane begins to hang out with some other denizens of the club , like anita ( salma hayek ) , a wannabe donna sommers , and her young hubby , greg randanzo ( breckin meyer , from " clueless " ) , who helps shane become a bartender and rise to a bit of fame .
although he begins to get somewhere when he sleeps with the foxy billie auster ( sela ward ) , an exec of sorts , he falls in lust with a soap star named julie black ( neve campbell ) , and thus the boring romance subplot that 's all too not necessarily important to anything else in the film and never really becomes interesting at any point in the film
.
the film 's sole point of interest and one major strongpoint is the all - too necesary personage of steve rubell , played by mike myers ( you heard me ) .
rubell , the famous head of the studio acted as if he never stopped partying ever , and is an easy metaphor for the life and times of his creation , but the film , thanks to a surprisingly strong performance by myers , makes him out to be more than that .
notice the scenes sole shocking scene , where he tries to get felatio from one of his male employees in turn for a promotion : myers brings the humanity to rubell in this scene , and a couple others , that some of us who 've only seen him on tv never saw , and proves to be perhaps the one aspect of studio 54 that this film actually nails .
first time feature director mark christopher proves that he 's a better director than a writer , though not too terribly much .
his story is trite and shallow , as are his characters , and his direction is shockingly flat , especially for a film about this subject .
it 's as if he had a great story to tell , but instead opted for the easier route .
the studio 's recreation is amazingly accurate , though , and very impressive , but his direction is never captivating enough .
some people say that a film does its job if it makes you want to visit the locale it takes place in ( despite the film 's tone , i still want to go to rome and its many nightclubs after i saw fellini 's " la dolce vita " ) , and when i watched " 54 , " i did n't particularly want to stay .
[EX A]: N

[EX Q]: synopsis : blond criminal psychologist sarah chooses to copulate with greasy tony the mysterious puerto rican rather than bearded cliff the wisecracking neighbor upstairs .
in the meantime , someone sends sarah rotting flowers , puts her name in the newspaper 's obituary column , and kills her cat .
comments : never talk to strangers ,
a colossal waste of time , moves slower than molasses in winter to arrive at a conclusion which should be obvious to the audience 20 minutes into the film .
one would n't think that two genuine movie stars , antonio banderas ( evita ) and rebecca de mornay ( hand that rocks the cradle ) , and the acerbic comic genius dennis miller ( " saturday night live " ) would be involved in such a celluloid backfire as this turkey .
not only are they in it , however , but de mornay executive produced it .
what was she thinking ?
never talk to strangers centers upon sarah , a psychologist examining the ill - tempered max , a murderer soon to stand trial .
she receives a sudden visit from her father which elicits flashbacks of some tragedy in her early childhood .
two men woo her ; tony the " security consultant " wins her over ( so they have passionate sex replete with cheesy saxophone music ) .
a lot of psychobabble is thrown around about multiple personality disorder , but the movie asks its audience not to derive the obvious conclusion between mpd and sarah , and instead offers several male characters as red herrings .
86 minutes , the running time of this cinematic mess , thus , seem like 86 hours .
a good chunk of never talk to strangers is spent upon sarah and tony .
why would the career - minded , professional sarah feel attracted to the walking steroid with a black hat called tony ?
that 's one of the film 's mysteries which are never answered .
regardless of motive , de mornay and banderas strip down and have sex several times in what passes for eroticism .
they also manage to go out before copulating occasionally -- in one of the stupidest scenes of the film , tony takes sarah to a carnival that 's * right outside *
his dingy apartment (
that way , they can hurry back and have sex quickly ) .
also , apparently , the weather changes quickly in their locale : they 're at this outdoor carnival one day before having sex ;
the next day , they 're out playing in the snow before having sex .
the filmmakers attempt to produce a suspenseful plot interspersed with tony and sarah 's " character development .
"
someone is out to get poor sarah ( though most of the audience should have figured out who before any of this starts ) . rotting flowers , a writeup in the obituary , and a beaten neighbor are just a few of the bad things which happen to her .
suspense cliche number one also occurs : whenever someone is stalked in thrillers , by any means , if the stalked has a pet , that pet will die . oftentimes , to even further the cliche
, the murdered pet is a cat ( suspense filmmakers , for some reason , just do n't like cats ) .
sarah
, in never talk to strangers , receives a package and , lo and behold , discovers her mutilated cat within .
suspense at its very derivative !
as stated before , never talk to strangers is a poor excuse for a film whose sole purpose seems to be exploiting banderas and de mornay 's bodies as often as possible .
comedian dennis miller is completely wasted here
( he 's not given lines that are suitable for his persona ) and does n't even appear all that much .
maybe , in a way , he 's lucky for that .
early on in the movie , sarah tells tony , after meeting him in a supermarket , that she had been advised to never talk to strangers .
allow me to advise that you never watch this stinker .
[EX A]:
N