In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.

plot : a group of asbestos cleaners get a job removing the gunk from an old insane asylum .
as each day passes , the crew members begin to discover things about the place and themselves which set other things in motion .
saying anything else about the plot would be a crime .
have fun . . .
critique : " i feel like shooting myself in the head
" are the first words that came out of my mouth after seeing this movie , a good indication as to what kind of film to expect here .
this ai n't your average " happy go lucky " kind of picture .
this is a deliberately slow - paced mystery - horror film drenched in atmosphere , with a very creepy insane asylum ( in which most of the film takes place ) , very few clues up - front and lots to talk about afterwards .
will it bore some people to sleep ?
you bet it will !
is it made for the scream audiences of the day ?
absolutely not !
i guess you can describe this film as a horror movie for the " cerebral crowd " .
a film that patiently unwraps itself frame after frame , giving away very little with each step and each sound , unwinding itself until its final scenes offer up a world of revelations and plenty more to discuss later .
i 've always loved movies that have me talking about them afterwards like the shining and lost highway and this film fits right into that group .
in fact , i guess i can pussyfoot around the actual word all i want but the best way to describe this kind of movie is a " mindfuck " .
if you feel like watching a movie that moves very slowly , gives you a handful of characters with divergent backgrounds , tosses a few very ambiguous and supernatural cookies your way and is extremely disturbing once you put it all together , well ,
then this movie is definitely for you !
it 's the kind of film that you actually have to see twice to fully appreciate ( damn , i missed that whole " peanut butter " thing ! )
and one that will likely creep the shit out of you if watched alone in the dark .
" brrrrrrrrr .
.
.
now what was that sound in the basement ?
honey , can you go check ? " and one thing this film does n't have , unlike its hollywood - ian counterparts like the haunting , is special effects .
in fact , that 's one of the greater things about this movie : it feels real because it looks like it 's actually taped on video with very credible actors in very credible circumstances ( i did some research
and it was , in fact , shot on digital video .
. .
ah - ha ! ) .
another great thing about it is that it 's actually very gory and somewhat violent in theme , and yet we rarely see anything of the sort on the big screen ( it 's mostly implied , kids ! ) .
and as clich ?
d as it might be to say .
. .
it 's usually much scarier when stuff is left to our imagination or implied in movies as such .
other films that this one reminded me of include henry : portrait of a serial killer and the blair witch project , with that same real sense of dread , brooding and terror .
the film does however move awfully slow and if you really do n't get " into " it completely ( you really need to concentrate here ) , you will lose the motion of the story and the pent - up tension might be released .
but overall , this film is yet another great example of the horror genre making a very cool comeback this year with no tight tanktops in sight .
and with david caruso acting like the king hotshot like only he can , how can you go wrong ?
definitely not a film for everyone but
a must - see for anyone looking to throw themselves into the psyche of the disturbed ( count me in ! ) .
stanley kubrick would be proud !
oh yeah . . .
so where 's that gun again . . .
?
where 's joblo coming from ?
the blair witch project ( 4/10 ) - blair witch 2 ( 7/10 ) - the haunting ( 3/10 ) - the house on haunted hill ( 7/10 )
- lost highway ( 10/10 ) - the pledge ( 6/10 ) - the shining ( 9/10 ) - the sixth sense ( 8/10 ) - unbreakable ( 8/10 )
P

i wish i could have been in the pitch meeting for this ridiculous notion of a sports film .
i bet it was some hotshot warner brothers agent with an dark armani suit and manicured fingernails saying , " it would be a very light comedic version of any given sunday , and we could throw in the hoosiers angle with the casting of gene hackman as the tough but determined coach .
throw in that hunk of a guy keanu reeves and a cast of wacky characters and poof !
we 'll have a hit on our hands !
" the replacements is a hokey mistake of a football film , a mishmash collage of one - dimensional characters , rampant stereotypes of cultures and races , cliched emotional statements of purpose , and keanu reeves wishing for the matrix sequel to start principal photography .
the story is loosely based around the pro football players ' strike in 1987 and a rag - tag team of replacement football players taking up the reins of professional play for a variety of teams with names like the washington sentinels .
keanu reeves stars as shane falco , a has - been football college player looking for redemption .
gene hackman dons a fedora like tom landry and speaks with gusto like a certain coach in hoosiers .
rounding out the cast includes swingers ' jon favreau , 7-up pitchman orlando jones , gruff owner jack warden , and cast of wacky and unknown actors who do amazing jobs of portraying perfectly stereotyped characters : the drunken welshman , the overweight sumo wrestler , the black convict , the violent cop , and the dumb , dumb cheerleaders .
this bunch of nobodies try to make something of themselves by taking the team to the season playoffs with unbelievable football plays , gene hackman yelling and asking himself where the hell dennis hopper is , keanu reeves looking for his body double making him look good on the football field , and cheerleaders hired from the local strip club making the girls from coyote ugly look like waitresses from denny 's .
the usual things happen like clockwork .
the hero rises from the ashes of failure , the team comes together in unity , the hero falls in love with a conventional love interest , the football games are won with enough schlock value to make the most ignorant of audiences cheer and clap , and the cheerleaders make you want to go home and watch late night movies on cinemax .
it 's also a shame when decent directors with good movies under their belts go to seed and become television and sequel hacks .
howard deutch , who was behind the camera for two of the best films of ' 80s - pretty in pink and some kind of wonderful , has since been doing grumpier old men and caroline in the city episodes .
obviously the problem is that without a good script , any director will fail in the end .
sports films are strong vehicles for cinematic glory , gritty tales involving the honor of men and the valiant efforts taken for the ultimate goal of victory in the face of insurmountable odds , the rise and fall of gallant heroes , and stories of dramatic gusto painted with blood and sweat on the battlefield of life .
the replacements offers none of this .
N

some movies require you to turn off your brain in order to watch .
then there are movies that require you to accept that everyone * in *
the movie has turned off
* their * brains .
the real mccoy is both .
it 's charmless , molasses - slow and so full of genuinely stupid people that the film commission of atlanta , where the real mccoy is set , might well consider some sort of ritual suicide for their complicity in this humiliation .
the real mccoy opens with
bank robber karen mccoy ( kim basinger ) being arrested in the middle of a job .
six years later , karen is out on parole and looking to stay straight .
she soon bumps into j .
t .
barker ( val kilmer ) , a hapless would - be thief who idolizes karen .
j .
t .
also has ties to jack schmidt ( terence stamp ) , the man who blew the whistle on karen six years earlier for refusing to work with him .
schmidt , who is in cahoots with karen 's sleazy parole officer ( gailard sartain ) , again wants karen to help him stage a robbery .
this time he has some leverage : karen 's kidnapped son .
just when she thought she was out , they keep pulling her back
* in .
* contrivances and sloppy plotting fly off the screen so fast and furiously
you have to duck to avoid being hit by them .
leading the list is the jack schmidt character , who through unexplained but presumably foul mains is already extremely wealthy when our story begins .
there is no reason given why he should need or want to get involved in another crime , let alone why he would actually participate in the break - in .
karen 's initial encounter with j .
t .
during a botched convenience store hold - up also strains the limits of credibility .
it would have been simple enough to have them somehow entangled at that point , but instead they run into each other the next day because they 're leaving their parole officers at exactly the same moment .
small world , eh ?
then there 's the convenient car trouble during an attempted escape , and pet tigers which , through the power of the laws of bad cinema , must inevitably confront someone who has blundered into their cage .
however , the buffoon prize goes to the atlanta police , who come off like the keystone kops on a bad day .
but the fun does n't end there in the shambles of a script by william davies and william osborne .
there is also the absence of a single , solitary interesting character .
karen is earnest and single - minded in her motherly devotion , but lacking any kind of edge which would make her a convincing criminal , and basinger is not a thespian adept at fleshing out flimsy material .
schmidt is a flaccid villain
, the parole officer is a complete blank , and karen 's son and ex - husband might as well be furniture .
only kilmer 's j .
t . is remotely appealing , but his one potentially intriguing quality , his ineptitude , is never developed .
in fact , kilmer disappears during the middle of the film , just when his admiration for karen could have made for an interesting sub - plot .
i might have been more forgiving if the pacing had been more appropriate to a caper comedy , but the real mccoy goes nowhere fast .
various scenes of sneaking and skulking seem to take forever , and some end with no reason evident why they did n't end up on the cutting room floor .
even the reasonably clever climactic break - in falls victim to this syndrome , including a scene of one of the thieves drilling open a vault which lasts ( i kid you not ) four minutes .
there is no tension in the scene , just tedium .
russell mulcahy ( highlander ) is a director with some style , and indeed the real mccoy looks reasonably good , but he completely stumbles in the editing room .
there are so many big problems with the real mccoy that i 'm tempted to overlook the little ones .
like karen disarming one of schmidt 's henchmen and throwing his gun into the middle of a park where her son is playing .
like a fountain crushed when a van runs into it reappearing in one piece a few moments later .
tempted .
but i 'm pretty good at resisting temptation .

N