In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.

godzilla is the ultimate culmination of the " who cares about plot " summer movie .
a loose remake of the 1954 " classic " japanese monster movie , godzilla , king of the monsters ( which is itself pretty thin in the story department ) , roland emmerich and dean devlin 's big - budget lizard - stomps - manhattan disaster flick has been written with the brain dead in mind .
the script is n't just " dumbed down , " it 's lobotomized .
godzilla lives and dies on special effects alone .
presumably , the primary target group for this film is teenage boys , the demographic most likely to shell out $ 7 repeatedly to see the same images of monster - instigated carnage .
that 's not to say that females and other age groups are immune to the special effects seduction ; they 're just not as readily susceptible .
this is the third straight movie in a row where emmerich and devlin have demonstrated that a mastery of computer - generated visuals is far more important for making money than the ability to write and direct for actors .
stargate was a financial success .
independence day was a runaway hit .
and , with godzilla already drowning in hype and merchandising tie - ins before it even opens , it 's virtually guaranteed at least $ 100 million .
nice numbers for a film that could have been penned by a not - too - precocious grade school kid .
godzilla is n't completely without merit , although it is close .
there 's a certain visceral thrill inherent in watching the giant lizard rip his way through manhattan ,
but it wears off quickly .
frankly
, while the special effects are competent , they 're not all that stunning .
there 's nothing new here
; it 's jurassic park meets aliens , with a little independence day thrown in for bad measure .
maybe it will require george lucas and his new star wars movie to take computer - generated visuals to the next level .
godzilla never really pushes the envelope , preferring to remain within a comfort zone .
the imagination of monster movies like king kong has been replaced by a crass , formulaic approach which disallows creativity .
( how disturbing is it to know that godzilla has been chosen to close the 51st cannes film festival ? ) worst of all , godzilla is n't even exciting .
with the possible exception of a mildly enjoyable car chase near the end , there is n't a sequence in this film that raises the pulse .
even the scenes with dozens of aircraft attacking the monster are so devoid of tension and suspense that they are yawn - provoking .
independence day may have been dumb , but it was full of " adrenaline moments " capable of getting the audience involved in the action .
in this aspect of its production , as in so many others , godzilla is lacking .
actually , part of the problem is that we 're never sure who we 're supposed to be rooting for : the green monster with an attitude or the paper - thin humans trying to stop him .
the plot , such as it is , can be summed up rather simply .
after sinking a few ships and leaving some footprints on tropical islands , godzilla shows up in the big apple .
he does some of the usual tourist things :
stops by madison square garden , visits the chrysler building , goes on a walk through central park , and takes the subway .
in the process , he knocks over a few buildings and steps on countless cabs , but he never has trouble with traffic jams .
on hand to stop him is an elite u.
s. army unit , led by a slightly less - arrogant - than - usual military man ( kevin dunn ) and a biologist named nick tatopoulos , who has a theory about godzilla .
in his opinion , the big guy is actually a lizard grown to enormous proportions as a result of the radiation given off by french atomic bomb tests in the south pacific .
in nick 's words , godzilla is " a mutated aberration ?
an incipient creature ?
the first of its kind .
"
as luck would have it , nick 's old girlfriend , audrey ( maria pitillo ) , is a reporter based at a new york tv station .
along with her cameraman friend , animal ( hank azaria ) , she decides to follow nick around as he trails godzilla .
then , just when the military has rejected nick 's theory about why godzilla is in new york , a member of the french secret service ( jean reno ) recruits him for a special assignment .
instead of stomping around tokyo this time , godzilla has chosen new york city .
unfortunately , manhattan has been destroyed so many times in recent disaster movies ( independence day , deep impact , armageddon ) that it 's becoming boring .
the whole tradition of monsters roaming around the city started with king kong , but the big ape was only about 30 feet tall .
he could climb the empire state building .
at ten times that height , godzilla would be more likely to knock it over .
godzilla contains a few lame attempts at humor .
there 's an ongoing feud between animal and his wife that plays like sit - com material , an unfunny and repetitive gag about how no one can pronounce nick 's last name properly , and a rather tame attack on film critics roger ebert and gene siskel .
both of the popular personalities have alter egos in the film : " ebert , " the mayor of new york , is played by michael lerner , and " gene " ( lorry goldman ) is his campaign manager .
ebert 's re - election slogan is , not surprisingly , " thumbs up for new york .
" the siskel / ebert stuff is amusing the first time it 's used , but , after a while , it grows tiresome .
and , although the " characters " do n't serve any real purpose , they keep popping up .
godzilla is saddled with an unimpressive cast .
this is largely because emmerich does n't want to risk a human performance upstaging his lizard .
that 's not to say that matthew broderick and jean reno are n't capable of good performances ( both have done their share of solid acting in the past ) , but they are n't a - list names .
then again , considering the quality of the writing , even pacino and deniro would have been hard- pressed to shine .
maria
pitillo ( dear god ) plays the love interest and hank azaria ( great expectations ) is on hand to present what is supposed to be comic relief .
ultimately , it does n't really matter what i ( or any other critic , for that matter ) have to say about the movie .
tristar has assumed that godzilla , like all self - proclaimed summer event motion pictures , is pretty much critic - proof .
it may also be word - of - mouth - proof .
those who want to see the movie will see it no matter what i write or their friends say .
so , when i go on record to assert that godzilla is one of the most idiotic blockbuster movies of all time , it 's like spitting into the wind .
emmerich and devlin are master illusionists , waving their wands and mesmerizing audiences with their smoke and mirrors .
it 's probably too much to hope that some day , movie - goers will wake up and realize that they 've been had .
N

*
* * the following review contains some harsh language . . .
but what did you expect when you clicked on this title ?
*
*
* cast : kristen holly smith , danica sheridan , alex boling , michael dotson , sonya hensley , janet krajeski ,
sabrina lu , dionysius burbano , calvin grant , jeff b .
harmon written and directed by : jeff b .
harmon running time : 97 minutes " the thought of losing you
makes me all vomity inside .
"
--- blatz balinski ( danica sheridan ) laments the fact that her lesbian lover , april ( kristen holly smith ) , has just received a telegram from her ex - fiance .
isle of lesbos is an incredibly offensive musical comedy about april pfferpot ( smith ) , a resident of the small town of bumfuck , arkansas who is about to get married to high school
sweetheart and football hero dick dickson ( michael dotson ) .
when april gets extreme cold feet she runs home , sticks a gun in her mouth , and pulls the trigger .
instead of killing herself , she is magically transported through her mirror into the isle of lesbos , an alternate dimension where lesbians rule and no men are allowed ( except for lance , the homosexual toilet cleaner / slave ) .
april loves her new home and friends , but dick and her parents are not so ready to give her up .
mr .
and ms .
pfferpot ( director jeff b . harmon and janet krajeski ) decide they need medical help
so they enlist the aid of dr .
sigmoid colon ( also jeff b . harmon ) , who claims he can cure homosexuality .
in actuality , dr .
colon is homosexual as well and begins his special " treatment " on dick dickson ( unbeknownst to dick ) .
when april turns down dick 's demand for her to return to bumfuck , he decides to take matters in his own hands and attack the isle of lesbos rambo - style .
instead of leveling the place he falls in love with lance ( alex boling ) and the two of them , along with april and her lover blatz , get married .
( note to the filmmaker : why did the character of lance make asides to the camera followed by silence that i 'm assuming was inserted for the purpose of waiting until the laughter of the audience had subsided ? )
april 's parents , feeling like there is no recourse , call in a favor to president clinton and send a nuclear bomb ( whose circuitry inexplicably is made up of a homosexual performer ) their way .
the bomb is a dud thanks to the work of the " circuitry " and they re - wire it and send it back to washington d .
c .
, destroying it .
mr .
and ms .
pfferpot give up trying to get their daughter back and instead decide to join her as they have some alternative sexual practices of their own .
i 'm not sure if writer / director / co - star jeff b .
harmon was purposely trying to offend people because he believes in some of the ideas his movie presents or if he was just going for cheap laughs .
either way , he manages to present some of the most offensive material i have ever seen in a movie .
the film opens with a preacher running a small african - american child out of town , and then later moves on to the hanging of a michael jackson impersonator by the ku klux klan ( during a jaunty musical number ) , preceded by remarks about " gays and straights finally being able to put their differences behind them and work together to hate others , such as the jews " .
if harmon was merely trying to point out how idiotic society can be , then i apologize for being so harsh on elements of his film , but it is presented so mean spiritedly that i ca n't help but feel like he had some serious intent .
as for the entire central theme of the movie , i 'm afraid that it 's one that i just do n't get .
i tried to keep an open mind while watching it , but the homosexual elements were just too prevalent for my tastes .
it was hard enough to watch them bash other races and sexes without them preaching about the virtues of being homosexual and accepted by society .
how does one expect to be accepted if they are just as guilty of non - acceptance ?
i 'm not prone to judging anyone and i believe that people should be free to explore whatever avenues they wish free from the scornful eye of society , but do n't force your particular rhetoric down my throat if you are n't going to show the same respect for my preferences that you wish from me .
again , maybe i 'm missing the satirical point that harmon is trying to make , but if so , i think it could have been handled a little more tactfully . as far as musical comedies go , isle of lesbos is no trey parker and matt stone musical , but a good portion of the songs are maddeningly catchy .
despite the disturbing visuals , " mom and apple pie " stuck with me for the rest of the day .
speaking of disturbing visuals , " wedding bells ai n't ringing " could have been a decent song , but the accompanying visuals of spousal abuse are more harrowing than this film should be displaying .
"
i 'm a lesbian " ( which is touted in the press release as being particularly popular ) is also pretty good , but a good portion of that could be due to the stellar singing voice of ms .
smith .
it 's mainly on her excellent vocals that my rating of this film is based .
the other performers are decent , save for the rosie o'donnell like performance given by danica sheridan .
i have no inherent problem with her character ; it is just her singing voice that leaves little to be desired .
one particular musical number , " lesbian rock " , was one of the lowest points i have ever experienced in my film - going life thanks to a strained and lackluster vocal job by sheridan .
the film ends about twenty minutes before the credits actually roll .
the remainder of the running time is padded out with a few more songs ( " lesbian rock " included ) and the ridiculously presented anti - nukes message tacked on to the end for no reason other than to make it a feature length film .
once the " isle of lesbos reprise " was reached , i felt the story had already been wrapped up well enough to end it all .
why was the film needlessly stretched out past its obvious end ?
isle of lesbos is available on videocassette from www .
indie - underground .
com .
the transfer is pretty clean ( and all the detail of the wrinkled cloth and paint backdrops are readily apparent ) and the film is letterboxed at approximately 1 .
85 : 1 .
in many respects , isle of lesbos has incredible cult potential ( like a rocky horror for the new millennium ) .
this film is by no means my cup of tea , but i know there are those out there who will enjoy it . if you think it might be for you , then by all means seek it out .
i , on the other hand , will be cleansing my palette with a good action film like gladiator . . .
wait .
are n't gladiator films considered to be . . .
oh , never mind .
N

synopsis : melissa , a mentally - disturbed woman who likes to smoke , seduces doug , a minor - league baseball player who likes to study anatomy , work on motorcycles , and make out with his girlfriend in a public library .
when doug decides to stop seeing her , melissa maliciously takes revenge on those around him , including his girlfriend , his mother , and his cat .
comments : malicious , i suppose , is an acceptable moview for what it is : a cheap , b - movie thriller which rips off dozens and dozens of spurned - psycho - lover - who - wants - revenge films
( like fatal attraction , hand that rocks the cradle , etc . etc . ) that have come before it .
malicious , however , really does n't provide very many particularly suspenseful moments .
the plot starts off energetically enough , the main characters are introduced and the affair between doug and melissa begins and ends pretty early on in the film .
it starts to drag , unfortunately , after this .
melissa will obviously try to take her revenge on doug ( as always seems to happen in movies like these ) , but she does so in unimaginative ways that have been done in other , better thrillers before .
she drugs someone .
she kills a family pet and leaves it in the girlfriend 's apartment .
and , of course , she stalks ,
so we see a number of shots , which are supposed to be suspenseful , where she 's spying on doug and his girlfriend .
i wo n't reveal the ludicrous ending to this turkey , but i warn you that it 's both painfully obvious and a real yawner
.
john vernon does a remarkably good job at playing the not - so - bright baseball jock who initially gets swept away by melissa ( one of the script 's faults is to try to pass off a character like this as a pre - med student ) .
the same can not be said , though , for molly ringwald .
at times , she can effectively pull off the obsessed lover routine , especially during her silent , i'm - going - to - stare - you - down scenes .
at other times , however , she just seems somehow goofy and out of place .
in one particular scene which i guess was supposed to be suspenseful , she screeches " f --
k you , you b-----d " and throws a phone .
she delivers the line so ridiculously that one ca n't help but laugh
.
malicious certainly is n't the worst thriller of its kind out in the video racks ( a number of really fat turkies in this genre are out there ) , but it is n't all that good or original either .
feel free to treat this film maliciously , watch something else .

N