In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.

Q: " be gentle , " urges natasha henstridge to matthew perry in " the whole nine yards .
"
" i have n't made love in five years .
"
" neither have i , " rebuts perry .
"
i 'm married !
"
if jonathan lynn 's latest comedy relied simply on jokes of that caliber -- and it certainly tries -- then it 'd be an innocuous if rather obvious little film . instead , its failings go much deeper .
first off , who has n't had enough of the tough wiseguy intimidates the timid wise guy genre ?
if you want to make a pretty penny or two in hollywood nowadays simply write a " comedy " which pairs a robert de niro / james caan / bruce willis type with a billy crystal / hugh grant / matthew perry type and wait for the royalties to roll in .
who 's next ?
jack nicholson and martin short ?
it certainly does n't have to be funny .
"
the whole nine yards " is not a particularly funny film , but it is borderline offensive
.
offensive in the way it continues a trend of poking fun at career criminals who would n't think twice about pushing your mother - in - law off the brooklyn bridge with her feet encased in concrete .
that might sound like a funny sight gag , but the problem is these films have long since lost sight of the fact that taking a human life is n't all that funny to begin with .
when the corpse is placed in a car , doused with gasoline , set ablaze and referred to as " barbecue , " it makes you wonder when all this playing killing for laughs is going to end .
"
the whole nine yards " is also offensive in so much as its three central female characters are portrayed as nothing more than sex objects .
rosanna arquette plays a slutty , chain - smoking french canadian who 's married to matthew perry 's none - too - successful dentist .
it 's an unflattering role made all the more so by the unflattering outfits -- and unflattering situations -- into which arquette is thrust .
then there 's natasha henstridge ( " species " i and ii ) who plays the well - to - do wife of contract killer bruce willis .
she gets involved with perry 's character when he comes to chicago hoping to negotiate a finder 's fee with mob boss
yanni gogolack ( kevin pollack , transposing his vs with his ws ) after willis ' jimmy the tulip tudeski moves in next door .
henstridge and perry 's characters hitting it off is about as likely as bruce and demi getting back together .
perry might have the charm but he does n't have the physical attributes of a traditional leading man , especially in close - up .
most objectified of the bunch is amanda peet , who turns in a sexually - ripe performance as perry 's dental assistant with , it transpires , questionable career goals .
peet 's gratuitous nude scene proves how low this movie will stoop to keep its audience from dropping off .
when " my cousin vinny " is the highpoint of a directorial career including such forgettable films as " clue , " " greedy , " and " sgt . bilko , " you have to wonder if lynn chose the wrong career path .
perry 's pratfalling goofiness coupled with willis ' likable hardness could have had some potential but with no script to work with , and a director who seems to be watching from the wings , their characters run out of gas quickly .

A: N
****
Q: susan granger 's review of " mulholland drive " ( universal focus )
whatever david lynch is selling ,
i 'm not buying .
from the writer / director of " blue velvet " and " twin peaks " comes another dark , mysterious thriller that opens with an automobile accident on mulholland drive , the serpentine street that twists high in the hollywood hills .
dazed , a beautiful brunette ( laura elena harring ) emerges and stumbles down a hill , slipping unobserved into a ' 30s - style apartment as the tenant leaves for a trip .
the next morning , a dewy blonde ( naomi watts ) from deep river , ontario , arrives in la with dreams of stardom in her suitcase .
her aunt owns the apartment and the two women meet .
the brunette has amnesia so the blonde tries to help her discover her identity along with her latent lesbian lust .
meanwhile , a hotshot director ( justin theroux ) , whose wife is in bed with the poolman , is forced to cast a certain actress in his new film and there 's an assassin ( mark pellegrino ) roaming the city .
the tortuous paths of these various characters - and others named cookie , coco and cowboy - intersect at various points but the plot remains elusive because , midway through the story , lynch has the brunette and blonde play two different women in an alternate reality , leaving a huge wad of cash , a blue metallic key , a paralyzed mogul and a lot of questions that go unanswered
.
elena harring and particularly naomi watts are gifted actresses , effectively making the subtle switch .
the same can not be said for former m .
g .
m .
dancer ann
miller who 's stiff and self - conscious , speaking - like most lynch players - in staccato tones .
on the granger movie gauge of 1 to 10 , " mulholland drive " is a frenzied , frustrating
4 . originally designed as an episodic tv pilot , this surreal triumph of suspenseful style over substance is packaged as a puzzle with several of the key pieces left out .

A: N
****
Q: as with any gen - x mtv movie ( like last year 's dead man on campus ) , the movie is marketed for a primarily male audience as indicated by its main selling points : sex and football .
those two items , wrapped in a guilty - pleasure package , are sure to snare a sizeable box office chunk initially , but sales will decline for two reasons .
first , the football sequences are nothing new , nor can they be ; the sports genre is n't mainstream
and it 's been retread to death .
second ,
the sex is just bad .
despite the appearance of a whipped cream bikini or the all - night strip - club party , there 's nothing even remotely tantalizing .
the acting is mostly mediocre , not including the fantastic jon voight .
cultivating his usual sliminess , voight gives an unexpectedly standout performance as west canaan coyotes head coach bud kilmer .
kilmer is the driving force behind the coyotes ' twenty - two conference championships and two state titles in thirty years ; this year he plans to make it twenty - three .
unfortunately , when his star quarterback , lance harbor ( paul walker ) , goes down for the count , he 's got to rely on the unreliable abilities of backup john moxon ( james van der beek ) .
moxon leads the team through its last four games , and then must cope with his newfound stardom , the effect it has on his relationship with girlfriend julie ( amy smart ) , and other temptations that abound in football - crazy west canaan .
most regions of the country are not nearly as football - crazy as texas , and so the atmosphere is likely to be lost on most . similarly , the set design is wrong for a high school setting : the teams are decked out with sparkling uniforms , radio headsets ( which never seem to work , however , and instead require coaches to signal plays manually ) , and even a giant bronze statue of coach kilmer .
these elements ( as well as the heavy drinking and carousing ) might be more appropriate on a college campus -- but mtv 's core audience is the high school demographic .
this focus is further emphasized by the casting : james van der beek , of tv 's " dawson 's creek , " is an understandable choice for the reluctant hero , although he never manages to do anything with the role .
other stars are similarly young and unmemorable .
there 's not much that goes right about varsity blues , and there 's not much to like about it , either .
everything herein has already been done , and if it has n't , the movie manages to botch it one way or another .
this is
certainly missable .

A:
N
****