TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: what makes reindeer games even more disappointing than just a predictable , lifeless action flick is the cast and crew who signed onto the project .
most of the people involved in reindeer games just came off terrible slumps with excellent comeback performances in their most recent films .
john frankenheimer , who made the unforgettable cold war drama the manchurian candidate way back in the early 60 's , recently showed critics and fans alike that he still had some magic left in his directorial skills when he created the brilliant car chase scenes in ronin .
screenwriter ehren kruger gave a remarkable first impression when he wrote the script for the underrated arlington rd .
ben affleck displayed his comedic talents in dogma and boiler room , and even on saturday night live directly after the horrible forces of nature and 200 cigarettes .
even charlize theron , who i was convinced could n't act , did a decent job in cider house rules .
when all of these bright stars come together , one would assume that the movie will have great potential to be entertaining .
after coming out of the theater showing reindeer games , disbelief was my first reaction ?
then frustration .
the movie could have premiered on cinemax at two in the morning starring an all - rookie cast and still would have been equally lacking in entertaining .
the acting is so pitiful and the script so dull
, i may have to rethink some of my opinions on how talented these actors actually are .
it seemed like everyone was restricted to just the script and not given a fair amount of improvisational rights .
we have all seen ben affleck have some fun on the set , it is so apparent in a number of scenes in good will hunting when he exchanges jokes with his friends at a bar .
the actors in that movie were having fun and , from that , the audience had fun .
reindeer games is the complete opposite ; the actors do n't seem to want to be their characters ( even danny trejo , who will do practically anything , does n't look like he is enjoying himself ) , causing the audience to quickly lose interest .
evidence of public disapproval was noted when a woman behind me yelled " boy this movie is horrible ! " and when there were scattered giggles during the most dramatic moments .
the story follows a man , rudy ( ben affleck ) , who is leaving prison in a few days along with his best friend and cellmate nick ( james frain ) .
nick has been exchanging love letters with a beautiful woman , ashley ( charlize theron ) , and can not wait to leave prison and meet her in person .
when nick is killed in a prison riot , rudy decides to pretend to be nick and take ashley out on a date for the christmas holidays .
unfortunately ashley 's brother , gabriel ( gary sinise ) interferes with their relationship .
thinking rudy is nick , he kidnaps rudy and threatens to kill him unless he helps rob a casino , which nick use to work at as a security guard .
now rudy must pretend to be nick so he can protect ashley from her brother gabriel .
confused ?
the movie only gets more complex as it goes on , until it gets way , way too complex at its climax .
but reindeer games makes its first serious mistake during the first half an hour .
the hero commits a greedy , selfish act when he decides to pretend he is his dead cellmate in order to date ashley .
some hero .
the point of a hero is to do the morally correct thing , a person for the audience to relate to or admire .
when rudy lies and cheats his way into trouble , instead of gathering support from me for him to ultimately succeed in getting the bad guys , i felt more like he was getting what he deserved and even wanted to see him fail at times .
the most irritating part of the film
( besides the fact that this is a christmas movie released in february ) is the number of chances the bad guys get to kill rudy but fail or delay for some idiotic reason .
the routine in which the bad guy must explain his genius plan to the hero before attempting to kill him with some elaborate machine is getting so tired
nowadays , especially when i eagerly want to see the hero dead .
the only saving grace keeping this movie from receiving zero stars is an amusing but pointless cameo from isaac hayes as a prisoner upset with his food .
why he was in this movie for such a pointless role
beats me .
why any of these people had anything at all to do with this movie
beats me .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: dear god , this is a fantastically bad film !
regardless of what i say about knock off , you ca n't grasp its awfulness from my words .
you have to see it and experience it for yourself .
here 's the kicker , though -- i suggest that you do so .
yes , this is a bad film -- easily one of the most incompetent films of the year --
but it has a certain misguided charm that makes it a unique kind of disaster to endure
.
in fact , i enjoyed myself for most of its brief running time , despite the dreadful acting and a completely incomprehensible story
.
do n't get me wrong : i 'm not excusing knock off .
it reaches an unacceptable level of badness ; it 's so incoherent that i wonder if it was hacked up worse than the avengers was .
it also features some truly terrible performances from lela rochon , michael wong , paul sorvino , and -- of course -- jean - claude van damme .
it does , however , have the entertaining presence of rob schneider , and the excessively inventive and pretentious direction of tsui hark .
as i watched it , i occasionally wondered if it was aware of its own awfulness .
now , in retrospect , it seems clear that it was n't , but it 's still a fascinating kind of mess .
i do n't like writing plot descriptions ( it is , by far , the most boring part of writing a review ) , but , in this case , i 'm off the hook : there is no way i could write an accurate synopsis for knock off .
for the sake of comparison , i had no trouble understanding the usual suspects during my first viewing .
i paid closer attention to knock off , and the only thing i am able to say about it is that van damme plays a dude named ray , and is accused by the cia ( i think ) of selling
knock off products ( knock off products are , of course , products that look like name - brand materials but are generic and cheap ) .
i do n't know what any of this has to do with martial arts , but there are lots of martial arts in the film .
ray is good at martial arts , so when he has to beat up bad guys , there 's no problem .
rob schneider plays his sidekick , although i had no idea who he really was by the end of the film .
lela rochon is just some woman who accuses them of stuff , while paul sorvino is both the good guy and the bad guy at once !
in fact , every character goes through so many shifts from good to bad that the end provides absolutely no insight into what any of them really do .
in that order , knock off is completely incoherent and makes absolutely no sense .
but what a strange mess
it is .
it was written by stephen e .
de souza , who also wrote die hard and 48 hours .
can this be the same man ?
i do n't see how , unless , of course , huge chunks of the film have been removed for the sake of running time .
knock off seems to have an interesting premise ( as far as action films go ) , but there 's no semblance here .
for instance , van damme is introduced , and then seconds later he 's running a chariot race through the streets of hong kong .
why ?
who knows .
what are the implications of this ?
i have no idea .
most action films abandon depth in favor of action , and this is normally a problem .
knock off , however , is the first film that i would have preferred to see with all of the talky sequences cut .
the acting is embarrassingly bad :
rochon , in particular , delivers each of her lines with stiff and talentless insincerity .
sorvino , in addition , deserves better than this .
van damme is bad , but he 's charming in that bad way , and so i ca n't say that he 's hard to watch ( although i rarely understood what he was saying ) .
the only exception is rob schneider , who is actually quite funny a lot of the time .
tsui utilizes so many tricks that he makes john woo look tame by comparison .
they 're all pointless gimmicks
though , such as shots of the inner - workings of a knock off running shoe .
but his action scenes are never boring :
one particular piece inside of a fruit factory ( a fruit factory ? ) is well - choreographed .
lots of the scenes are pitched well to comedy , such as our heroes ' first encounter with the rochon character .
but did tsui know that his film is beyond ludicrous
?
i hope he did , for the alternative is a frightening thought .
knock off has the feel of a truly terrible exercise in camp mania .
if it were boring , i 'd give it zero stars .
but it 's not boring :
it 's loud and excessive and completely incoherent .
it 's also funny , even when it is n't meaning to be funny .
a bad film that succeeds as entertainment does n't deserve to be fully lambasted .
i recognize knock off for its irrefutable badness , but i ca n't deny it 's zany , useless charm .
oh , i know , they 're just action scenes looking desperately for a real story , but they 're fun action scenes amongst a crowd of laughably inane concepts .
it 's fun to admire
the awfulness of a film like this , but that does n't excuse the fact that it is , indeed , awful .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: three things i learned from " being john malkovich " : when getting on the elevator for your first day of work on the 7 1/2th floor of a building , always bring your crowbar ; do n't stand in the way of your wife 's actualization as a man ; and , whenever entering a portal into the mind of another human being , wear old clothes , because , hey , it 's muddy in there .
" being john malkovich " is the most original film to come down the pike in a very long time .
wildly surrealistic , yet presented in a down - to - earth , funky style ,
this is the kind of movie that sticks in your head .
after savoring the sheer inventiveness of the storyline , you roll around the wealth of ideas contained within it .
from the ethics of relationships and politics of immortality to the very nature of identity itself , there 's a lot to think about here .
just do n't forget to have fun .
clearly , all parties involved in the making of the film certainly did , starting with writer charles kaufman .
"
i wrote ' being john malkovich ' without an outline , " he explains in the press notes , " blindly , with no sense of direction or purpose .
it 's important to me that i do n't have a map before i start .
this allows me to surprise myself , stay engaged , discover things , and , hopefully , allow the unconscious to surface .
"
spike jonze ( mark wahlberg 's na ?
ve buddy in " three kings " ) takes it from there .
the white - hot director of the beastie boy 's " sabotage , " an award - winning parody of ' 70s tv cop shows , as well as numerous other music videos and commercials , eschews typical mtv flash for his feature film debut .
jonze wisely realized that a storyline this unusual is most effectively presented in a low - key style .
his flat , matter - of - fact approach works perfectly .
and then there 's the cast .
john cusack plays control freak craig schwartz , a street performer who periodically gets decked by parents objecting to his remarkably expressive , but decidedly erotic puppet shows .
over the years , his marriage to obsessive pet store employee lotte ( cameron diaz ) has devolved .
once passionate lovers , the two are now little more than courteous roommates .
financially strapped , craig takes a job as an entry - level file clerk at lestercorp , located on the 7 1/2th floor of a manhattan building . navigating around dr .
lester ( orson bean ) ,
his 105 year - old boss and floris ( mary kay place ) , lester 's dotty secretary , craig tries to settle into his new position , but two things keep him distracted .
first , there 's the beautiful and imperious maxine ( catherine keener ) , who delights in tormenting craig over his obvious lust for her .
and then there 's the hole behind the file cabinet , which turns out to be a portal into the mind of actor john malkovich .
craig learns that anyone who enters the portal gets whooshed into the subconscious of malkovich , where they can experience life from his point of view ( with enough concentration , you can even influence his actions ) .
after 15 minutes , the visitor gets ejected and unceremoniously dumped in a ditch on the side of the new jersey turnpike .
then things get a little weird .
by the way , if you 're concerned that i gave away too much of the plot , rest assured - - i barely scratched the surface .
one of the most satisfying aspects of the fable is that kaufman is not content to simply milk laughs from his bizarre set - up .
instead , he crawls into the dark premise as completely as craig crawls into malkovich , rummaging around and toying with the various philosophical implications of compromising another person 's identity .
he also examines the consequences of the malko - visits to craig , lotte , maxine and , of course , john malkovich himself .
the performances are superb .
malkovich ( best known to mainstream audiences for his work in " dangerous liaisons , " " in the line of fire , " and as head psychopath in the guilty - pleasure " con air " ) tweaks his own image in a dandy self - deprecating turn .
far from his effete , vaguely reptilian persona , this malkovich is just another schlub , drinking with his pals and trying to get laid ( incidentally , charlie sheen also plays himself in a hilarious parody of his well - earned bad boy reputation ) .
as always , john cusack nails his part , handily pulling viewers along even as craig 's actions become unconscionable .
the big surprises come from catherine keener and cameron diaz , both playing against type .
kenner , usually cast in icy subordinate roles , is terrific as a highly intelligent , extremely manipulative femme fatale .
cameron diaz , barely recognizable under a mess of brown , curly hair
, sheds her perpetually sunny smile and draws big laughs as a woman thrown into extreme sexual confusion after taking a ride in malkovich .
" being john malkovich " stumbles towards the end , as jonze and kaufman try too hard to resolve the various subplots .
additional characters and increasingly complex explanations lead to a cluttered finale .
regardless , this contemporary " alice in wonderland " is a real treat .
i enjoyed watching " being john malkovich , " but only later , after reflecting on the film , did its resonance fully hit me .
at one point , craig says , " do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is ? " truer words were never spoken .

SOLUTION:
P