TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: "
what 's your favorite new york moment ? "
" this one 's climbing the charts .
" starring john cusack , kate beckinsale , eugene levy , molly shannon .
directed by peter chelsom .
rated pg-13 .
there 's no doubt that 95 % of romantic comedies follow a distinct pattern
: guy sees girl , guy wants girl , guy goes through unreasonable obstacles to get girl , guy gets girl .
in rare cases , the genders are flipped .
predictability is a given .
rarely , though , is a romantic comedy as cheap , as obvious , or as pointless as serendipity , a film that uses its " theme " as an excuse for its plot contrivances .
" lightweight " does n't begin to describe it .
this is like anti - gravity .
it begins in a new york city bloomingdale 's , a product placement that rivals cast away 's fedex for sheer blatancy .
jonathan trager ( john cusack ) and sara thomas ( kate beckinsale ) both go for the same pair of gloves .
after going through the perfunctory motions , jonathan gets to keep the gloves and the two of them go out for ice cream , followed by ice skating .
jonathan falls hard , and sara is charmed . when she writes her name and number down on a piece of paper , a truck rumbles by and blows it out of her hand .
she takes this as a sign from fate that they should n't be together ; jonathan is flabbergasted . to pacify him , she comes up with an idea : jonathan will write his number on a 5 dollar bill , which she will promptly spend .
when she gets home , she will write her name and number inside a book ( " love in the time of cholera " ) and sell it to a used bookstore .
if the bill gets back to her or the book to him , it will mean that they are meant to be together .
three years later .
both sara and jonathan are now engaged to other love interests .
both realize they are n't content .
both go looking for the other .
what happens now is so absurd that i 'm almost tempted to recommend the film for the sake of seeing it .
the two of them run circles around each other in a set of incredible " coincidences " that i would describe as contrivances if it were n't for the film
oh - so - cleverly dismissing that criticism by building its plot around " serendipity .
"
of course , since the movie is about fate , the screenwriter can do anything he damn well pleases .
i 'm not buying it .
there 's no suspense in any of this because we know exactly what 's going to happen , but serendipity insists on drilling its purportedly " adorable " non - story into our heads .
instead of " will they meet ?
"
the question we 're asking is " when will they meet already ? " to make matters worse , every " coincidence " is telegraphed from a mile away ; by the last reel
i was bored enough to actively look for signs that something else " incredible " was going to happen .
cusack is fine and beckinsale , at least , is n't saddled with another lumbering , clunky screenplay ( she 's had bad luck , what with brokedown palace and pearl harbor on her resume ) , just an inanely pointless one .
serendipity also relieves the tedium with the amazing eugene levy , who plays a snarky bloomingdale 's salesman .
what 's the interest in watching a movie that spirals around and around a predestined
( no pun intended ) conclusion ?
serendipity wants to tug at the heartstrings , but it only tests our patience .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: the spy game is up .
you can thank charlie 's angels -- the movie -- for that .
when did banality and pandering become okay ?
just steal from hong kong , the matrix , and a kitschy tv show from the mid-1970s and that 's a movie ?
charlie 's angels is one of the worst examples of action film homogeneity and shameless duplicity in any film i 've seen in ages .
charlie 's angels is dumb .
just plain dumb .
as we all know , three of the hottest females on the planet -- drew barrymore , cameron diaz , and lucy liu -- are three super - agents working for the mysterious millionaire named charlie .
they all drive fast cars , look oh - so - fabulous even in the morning , and do n't seem to get a scratch even when fighting armed men , having buildings explode ten feet in front of them , or flying through the air in matrix slow - motion . and while the entourage spends 90 minutes romping around in cleavage - busting wetsuits , cleavage - busting waitress uniforms , and cleavage - busting wet t - shirts , they scarcely succeed in resembling so much as a group of annoying , drunk sorority girls , the kind who hit on everybody at a party .
the actual plot revolves around the ridiculous story of a millionaire computer engineer -- the great sam rockwell -- who gets kidnapped by a mysterious rival computer company .
of course , the rival wants control of his new personal identification system , which involves such latter - day buzzwords as gps , cellular tracking , and even mainframe .
the amazing crispin glover lends his acting chops as a crazed henchmen involved in all the nasty things that happen to the angels -- like battling each of them in many round - robin matrix rip - off ( again ) fight sequences and harboring a strange attraction to sliced - off locks of the angels ' hair .
the coup de grace is bill murray as bosley , serving as charlie 's manservant , or , more to the point , the angels ' pimp .
the rest of the movie comprises a revenge arc , enough costume changes to fill three productions of les miserables , carbon - copy fight sequences
that would lend credible evidence to a jackie chan and the wachowski brothers lawsuit for intellectual property theft , and the strange transformation of sam rockwell into mickey rourke 's long - lost brother .
charlie 's angels starts off with a bang and ends up being a soggy burrito left out overnight
.
nothing is difficult , plausible , or believable in any of the angels ' actions .
it feels like the matrix , mission : impossible 2 , and cleopatra jones and the casino of gold all rolled into one .
diaz is a knucklehead .
barrymore is the " dangerous one , " mean and tough and about as believable as katie holmes in the role .
liu is just . . .
lucy liu , looking good in a skin - tight black leather suit .
the list of movies from which charlie 's angels is directly lifted is equally astonishing .
the writers apparently ran the copier all night stealing scenes from armageddon , lethal weapon ii , all of jackie chan 's movies , the great escape , saturday night fever , revenge of the nerds , payback , darkman , dr .
no , the matrix ( as mentioned ) , and even tv 's friends .
it 's a shame , too , because one of the many screenwriters , john august , was at the helm of last year 's favorite , go .
then again , what can you expect from a director known solely as " mcg .
" there is no camp value in the film , no interesting main characters , no invigorating action scenes , no reason at all to waste your time
except to ogle the hot chicks and enjoy the performances of a few supporting players .
note to hollywood :
next time , let 's leave the tv shows on the tv .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: the long kiss goodnight ( r ) meryl streep tried it and failed .
even pamela anderson lee made an attempt but fell flat on her well - bared assets .
however , geena davis could very well become the first bankable american female action star
with the long kiss goodnight ,
a preposterous but incredibly fun action thriller directed by her husband , renny harlin .
davis plays samantha caine , a mousy suburban school teacher and mother whose memories only go back eight years .
with the help of ethically questionable private detective mitch hennessey ( samuel l . jackson ) , she slowly remembers -- and reclaims -- her past as charly baltimore , tough - as - nails cia operative .
needless to say , with the reappearance of samantha / charly comes the appearance of an assortment of no - goodniks out to erase more than her memory .
shane black netted a cool $ 4 mil for his script ; i 'm not so sure if his prose is truly deserving of such a hefty price tag , but for what it 's worth ,
it delivers the goods .
like black 's previous work , such as lethal weapon and the last boy scout ,
the script juggles some impressive action scenes with funny , quirky dialogue .
the humor especially works well in this case , for the story is so preposterous that the laughs help to keep things from taking things too seriously .
but there 's no argument that the more unbelievable sequences are original and entertaining as hell : who can resist the sight of davis tossing her daughter from a hole in her house into the nearby treehouse or chasing after a car .
. .
while ice skating ? jackson and davis make a good team
.
jackson is funny as ever as ever
; in fact , his spirited line deliveries , especially when he first appears , are more than reminiscent of his work as jules in pulp fiction .
as good as he is , the one who should benefit the most from this project is davis , who shows much promise as an action heroine .
what makes her so effective and why she should succeed where streep and lee failed is that she does n't take herself too seriously .
she is obviously in on the joke , slyly taking jabs at herself and at the situation .
this is not to say that she does n't need work -- sometimes she lays on the " toughness " a bit too thick and comes off too much as a caricature .
but should the public embrace the film and , in turn , the notion of a kick - ass female , davis could have found her special niche .
it seems as if davis and harlin 's first collaboration , the middling pirate epic cutthroat island , was just a dress rehearsal ( albeit a very costly one ) for long kiss , in which the wife - husband team hit their action stride .
anyone simply looking for a fun , escapist entertainment that requires little - to - no thinking will find this film to be a more - than - welcome kiss .

SOLUTION:
P