TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: _ soldier _ is hands down one of the worst movies a person could ever have to sit through that does n't have jean claude van damme in it .
i could liken it to
the sci - fi cheese that was the hollywood product - of - choice back in the early 80s , but that would be too much of a compliment .
if there is a movie theater in hell , this film is playing there 24 hours a day .
the story , such that there is , revolves around todd ( kurt russell ) , an automaton of a man who has been raised from birth to be a merciless soldier in a not - too - distant ultra - conservative future ( is there any other kind ? )
after years of desensitization at a military academy full of other boys just like him , todd becomes a ground fighter in a series of wars all over the galaxy . who the enemies in these wars are is never revealed , but the few glimpses of todd in battle show that it does n't matter , because innocent hostages are wiped out as indifferently as the bad guys .
after ten minutes of this nihilistic trash --
yes folks , there 's more
-- we see todd as a buff , scarred adult , now so accustomed to the carnage that no confrontation at all causes him to break a sweat .
there 's a new wrinkle , though .
todd and his brethren are declared obsolete , and a new batch of soldiers takes their place .
after losing a sanctioned battle with _ dragon _ 's jason scott lee , the seemingly dead todd is dumped by a flying ice - cube tray
( well , that 's what is looked like ) on a remote garbage planet .
if you predict that todd meets a bunch of outcast settlers on this planet , and that they band together to fight a bunch of bad guys coming to destroy them , you 're way ahead of the game .
the renegade society on this trash heap is so clich you half - expect tina turner and master blaster to come strolling into frame any minute .
it 's surprising that _ soldier _ is the brain - child of _ blade runner _ co - writer david webb peoples .
unlike that mind - twisting classic , this film contains just barely enough dialogue to fill about three double - spaced pages .
add into the mix the _ mortal kombat _ 's paul anderson inept direction , and
it 's easy to see how _ soldier _ turned out so bad . and the special effects !
remember the flying steam irons in hardware wars ?
gary busey is in this movie .
'nuff said .
_
soldier _ is proof that hollywood still has plenty of bad ideas sitting in its script vaults .
that this sad film made it to the silver screen should encourage plenty of aspiring screenwriters out there that there is hope after all .
now if you 'll excuse me , i have to go weep for the future .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: available for rental - october 12 , 1999 10 things i hate about you is an update of the classic play , the taming of the shrew .
that said , drop any pre - conceived notions of what shakespeare 's work is supposed to be like and welcome yourself to padua high school , home of a student counselor ( allison janney ) who obsesses over the male penis ; a slightly too hip and racist african - american english teacher ( daryl mitchell ) ;
a new kid named cameron ( joseph gordon - levitt ) ; a model named joey ( andrew keegan ) , the subject of cameron and joey 's crushes ; bianca ( larisa oleynik ) ; and bianca 's sister - the shrew ( julia stiles in a marvelous performance ) - whose name is katarina , kat for short .
with movies about high schools similar to these running through projectors like water down the nile , it would be quite easy to write off 10 things i hate about you as just another doltish comedic - romance .
yet , you must realize that the story is timeless , and a few hundred years later it is equally as witty and comical
as when elizabeth gleefully looked on , groundlings below and stuffed brassieres on stage .
the first reminder of the original scribe can be found in katarina and bianca 's last name : stratford .
their family is run by walter stratford ( pretty woman 's larry miller ) , a doctor who is all too familiar with teenage pregnancy and guards his children accordingly .
in what he thinks to be a moment of ironic humor , the family " no dating " policy is amended to " bianca can date .
. .
when [ katarina ] does .
" with prom just ahead , bianca 's fate is grim ; unless , of course , she can tame the shrew .
do n't think this mission to be a simple one , as bianca kindly points out , her sister " .
.
. is a particularly hideous breed of loser .
" getting katarina to date is complex and oftentimes confusing .
when cameron , who likes bianca , learns of her father 's new rule , he is quick to consult a friend for advice .
the scheme they dream up is to fully exploit " someone with money .
" in this case , that is joey - the other guy with a crush on bianca .
cameron 's friend , a loser by teenage verdict , convinces joey to pay someone who has enough guts to take the shrew out .
the solution lies no farther away than the second blatant reminder of the master scribe : patrick verona ( heath ledger ) .
this verona is far from fair ; rumor has it that he previously laid his scene in prison .
moreover , katarina openly opined to the aforementioned english teacher that " hemingway was an alcoholic who hung around picasso , hoping to nail his leftovers .
"
the laws of high school cinema inexorably turn patrick and katarina into romeo and juliet .
providing a constant reminder of the fact that this is n't exactly what shakespeare had in mind are the elements obligatory to a high school comedy :
a party polluted with liquor , a best friend 's betrayal , and prom .
it is the latter that has become infamous for closing films like drive me crazy , american pie , never been kissed , carrie , she 's all that , and ca n't hardly wait .
yet surely even these practices have roots in shakespeare ; falstaff was a drunk , romeo and juliet met at a party , and caesar learned about loyalty the hard way .

SOLUTION: P

PROBLEM: "
some houses are born bad , " goes the haunting 's tag line , to which i must add , " some movies , too .
"
nothing short of hiring a new cast , a more literate screenwriter , and a new director could have saved this tragically misguided adaptation of jackson 's meritorious novel .
the haunting is late entry summer dreck too slick to be creepy , and its seemingly endless stream of digital trickery and spooky ooky sound effects do n't frighten so much as numb the audience into submission
- the film is like a rube goldberg contraption rigged to shout " boo .
" fragile nell ( taylor ) , bisexual theo ( zeta - jones ) , and smiley luke ( wilson ) are three insomniacs who gather at the reputedly possessed hill house for an extended study on sleep disorders , hosted by professor marrow ( neeson ) .
marrow 's secretly gathering data on their respective paranoid responses to his recount of hill house 's bleak history .
he 's not prepared for the very real apparitions that terrorize the crew , nell especially , who has some ancestral connection to the manor 's previous inhabitants .
taylor is thoroughly insufferable in her first big - budget lead .
for starters , her consistently dour expression sucks the life out of even the early scenes , when we 're introduced to the mansion and all its fun - house trappings .
her character is supposed to be depressed , having tended to an unloving mother for too many years , but taylor plays nell as supernaturally lame , alternately grouchy , mopey , wiggy and pathetic , and i kept wondering why the other characters did n't just ditch this bitch
.
as for the obscenely photogenic zeta - jones , she breezes through her scenes with a wink and a smile and takes the scenery with her .
unfortunately , she 's saddled with some of the most unlikely dialogue the screenplay has to offer .
theo 's assessment of the house ?
"
i love it !
sort of charles foster kane meets the munsters .
" who on earth would say that in place of " citizen kane meets the munsters " ?
( furthermore , would you gladly spend a single night in a house befitting that description ? )
both actresses fare better than neeson , who looks embarrassed to be a part of this ensemble ( and for good reason ) , and his character is the most bland .
as luke puts it , dr .
marrow pulls the old " academic bait and switch " on his subjects , but he breaks down and confesses to this the second he 's accused .
later , he risks his life by climbing a crumbling stairwell to save nell ( it 's amusing to hear neeson shout " nell " repeatedly , given his starring role in the 1994 jodie foster vehicle of the same name ) .
why was this nice , helpful , and redemptive researcher so absent of ethics at the start ?
the haunting was well designed by eugenio zanetti .
his sets are obsessively detailed , and even before the cgi kicks in , they seem alive , never quite still .
i do have one beef with this aspect of the production :
the real life mansion used in exterior shots , nottinghamshire 's harlaxton manor , is so vast that one has trouble believing that nell and company , no matter how much running away they do from ghosts and goblins , always finish up in locations that were established in act one , as if all the action has been confined to one wing of hill house .
eighty million dollars was spent on the haunting , and despite a powerhouse box office debut ,
i doubt it will recoup its costs ( including marketing ) domestically .
thank jan de bont for that : proving for the third time that speed was a fluke , in that it was actually enjoyable , de bont has served up another ride , sans thrill .
his images , well - lit though they are , have an unmistakable been there - done that quality
; in fact , whole sequences , not to mention the cloaked , airy ghoul who owns the climax , feel lifted from a much smarter and infinitely more enjoyable spectacle from three summers back , peter jackson 's the frighteners .
i do n't mean to suggest de bont is a plagiarist , i mean to suggest that he 's a hack , having found no new ways to give us chills .

SOLUTION:
N