TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: synopsis : back - up quarterback moxxon becomes starting quarterback midway through his senior year of high school , even though he 'd rather read " slaughterhouse five " than the playbook .
evil football coach kilmer throws away moxxon 's book , though , while the evil team physician injects painkillers into the players .
in the meantime , moxxon 's kid brother forms a cult , and a bubblegum - blond cheerleader smears whip cream on herself to seduce the new star quarterback .
comments :
since i usually review horror and science fiction films , i feel a little out of my league discussing this teen football movie .
( pun intended .
thank you ! )
varsity blues was produced by mtv , and it really shows .
several extended scenes allow for a continual soundtrack of mediocre pop songs meant to appeal to the adolescent male audience this crap was intended for .
the teenagers all have reasons for their melodramatic angst .
the adults all have problems , of course , and ,
as one - dimensional characters , they are all fanatically obssessed with how their local high school football team performs .
yes , this movie represents high school life in mtv - land .
this is a land where your health teacher is also a part - time stripper , your ice cream store attendant girlfriend wears an egyptian ankh around her neck , your kid brother forms a " cute " cult , your football coach is an uncaring , obssessive madman , and your friends ' lives consist of nothing but getting laid and driving around in cop cars naked .
all you , as the main character , want to do , however , is read " slaughterhouse five " and attend brown university in the fall .
well , at least this is a little more realistic than mtv 's " the real world .
" varsity blues stars james van der beek , this week 's teen tv star making the leap to the big screen .
he plays the hick moxxon adequately , though some of his emotional dialogue will make people chuckle .
( " you dawn't own mah life !
" who would want to ? )
jon voight ,
the stock evil guy in countless other movies , is , surprise , the stock evil guy here .
but is he really evil , or is he a product of society ? after all , everybody , young and old , in this movie has no life whatsoever and do nothing but obssess over high school football .
maybe the pressures of the 90 screaming fans at the football field drove evil coach kilmer evil .
the film 's screenplay never answers this burning question .
at times , iliff 's story does show glimmers of touching or humorous scenes , but , before the audience gets their hopes up that there might be something redeeming in this movie ,
they get trashed with another lengthy party sequence or overwrought football game .
the movie 's pacing is slow , and the plot turns are mindnumbingly obvious from start to finish .
i suppose i 'm being a little hard on varsity blues .
maybe i 'm just a little miffed that i had to pay 3 bucks to see it , even though it was dollar night at the cinema .
something about a request from the studio made the theater charge more money .
i found the film oftentimes ludicrous and boring .
three guys in front of us smuggled beer into the the theater .
i wished i had thought of that .
alcohol , lots of it , may have helped the viewing experience .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: jay and silent bob strike back , kevin smith 's swan song to his two most famous characters , is the best received comedy that i 've seen since there 's something about mary , which is a tea party in comparison to the foul - mouthed humor in jay and silent bob strike back .
the audience did n't just laugh ; they went wild with boisterous laughter and heavy applause throughout .
in short , if you like really raunchy humor , you may find it , as i did , to be the funniest movie of the year .
( on the other hand , if you are one of those who walked out in disgust with smith 's dogma , then jay and silent bob strike back is not the movie for you . ) in one of the fastest paced movies of the year
, the story has jay and silent bob ( jason mewes and kevin smith ) , a pair of card carrying drug dealers , traveling from their new jersey convenience store home to hollywood so that they can stop a movie .
it seems their comic book alter egos , bluntman and chronic , are being used in a movie without jay and silent bob 's consent .
jason biggs and james van der beek are slated to star in it .
jay and silent bob strike back has more and better used cameos than just about any movie that i 've ever seen .
among others , they include carrie fisher as a bible - toting nun , mark hamill as a comic book version of his famous alter ego and gus van sant as a director too busy counting his money to yell , " action !
" best of all are ben affleck and matt damon who mock themselves and their movies .
the film stops several times to make fun of itself and of the audience who was " stupid " enough to buy tickets to this movie .
( actually , purchasing tickets to this film is extremely smart given that it delivers more laughter per dollar than anything in recent memory . )
the film even skewers people who write about movies on the internet .
guilty .
although it 's filled with inside jokes , you 'll still be laughing even if you only get some of them .
it 's easy to understand enough so that they are still funny .
jay is a motor mouth who has n't met a subject that he could n't vulgarize .
his favorite topic is oral sex , but , being an equal opportunity profaner , he 's willing to make crude jokes about absolutely anything .
but it is his buddy , the aptly named silent bob , who is responsible for most of the movie 's success .
his reaction shots , with his wildly exaggerated eye movements , are comedic gems .
the story 's main subplot concerns four animal rights activists , justice ( shannon elizabeth ) and her three sexy buddies , sissy ( eliza dushku ) , missy ( jennifer schwalbach smith ) and chrissy ( ali larter ) .
these charlie 's angels types give a ride to our heroes on their trek to lalaland to stop the picture .
jay tries to put the moves on justice , but he does n't stay in command of the situation for long .
one of the funnier sight gags has the women using a pink , clam - shaped , birth control case that contains high tech gadgetry .
granted , it 's not the movie for everyone , but , if you like kevin smith 's brand of humor , you 'll find that this is his best .
and , as i said earlier , it 's the funniest movie of the year thus far .
no , wait .
forget , ` thus far . '
it 's bound to be the funniest movie of the year
.
in a time when almost every movie feels obligated to come in at pg-13 so that they can rake in the maximum cash , it 's great to see a filmmaker with the guts to target only a mature audience .
jay and silent bob strike back runs a lightening fast 1 : 35 .
it is rated r and contains pervasive crude humor and language and sexual situations .
it would be acceptable for high school seniors and older .
the film opens nationwide in the united states on wednesday , august 22 , 2001 .
in the silicon valley , it will be showing at the amc and the century theaters .

SOLUTION: P

PROBLEM: darren ( jason biggs ) , wayne ( steve zahn ) , and j .
d .
( jack black ) have been best friends since the fifth grade .
like the three musketeers , they 've been together through thick and thin .
but , when darren meets an attractive , but cold - blooded and manipulative , psychiatrist , judith ( amanda peet ) , the long time friendship is placed in danger .
it 's up to wayne and
j . d . to rescue their best friend in " saving silverman . "
" silverman " has its heart in the right place , but the story , by newcomers hank nelken and greg depaul , is too lightweight to sustain the tale of the battle for darren 's soul .
based on their experience of a friend making a major marital mistake , the story is centered on the three , life long amigos .
when wayne introduces darren to judith , he does n't realize that he has opened a pandora 's box of disaster for himself and j .
d .
judith was once in a relationship where her boyfriend was the dominant figure until he died in a kick boxing match .
since then , she has sought a new mate - someone she can boss around and mold into her own vision .
enter darren silverman .
once they realize the magnitude of their error in judgement , wayne and j .
d . try everything they can , including threats and bribery , to get judith to free darren .
nothing works until the duo come up with a plan - kidnap judith and get darren back together with the girl he called his one and only , pretty sandy perkus ( amanda detmer ) .
the only problem here is that sandy is about to take her vows to become a nun .
things spiral out of control as judith repeatedly attempts to escape while wayne and j .
d .
play cupid .
the boys even bring their idol , neil diamond , into the picture to help resolve things .
thinking about it , this is a real mishmash of contrivance and coincidence
that is held together solely by the comedic efforts of steve zahn and jack black .
the pair is able to elicit the film 's only laughs with their goofy antics and child - like behavior .
they are relegated to providing slapstick guy humor and the two are more than equal to the task .
steve zahn has been steadily honing his comedic acting skills and gives some complexity to wayne , the " brains " of the gang .
jack black has the big - guy moves of a chris farley , giving j .
d .
an amusing physical presence .
the neat thing is that the two actors are able to get fresh laughs from stale material .
the rest of the cast does n't fare as well , though .
jason biggs is the straight man of the musketeers and gets very little to do ; though having watched his previous films ( " american pie " and " loser " )
i 'm not sure what attraction biggs actually has .
amanda peet is caustic
as the manipulative judith .
there is no humanity at all to her character as she single - mindedly strives to recreate darren into her mind 's image .
she 's a monster that wayne and
j .
d . must defeat to save their friend .
unfortunately , there is no dimension to her character .
amanda detmer brings nothing ( or gets nothing ) as darren 's one and only .
r .
lee ermey , as the psychotic coach , made a bad decision taking this role .
tune - meister neil diamond gives a good - natured cameo perf as the boys ' idol and savior .
production values are on par with the rest of the film - lackluster and non - involving .
director dennis dugan has a track record for broad comedy with films like " big daddy " and " beverly hills ninja , " but falls flat with " saving silverman .
"
the 2001 movie year has yet to provide us with a " good " film to sink our teeth into .
at least , with " saving silverman , " we get a couple of funny perfs from zahn and black .
too bad that the rest of the film lacks their level of humor . kick boxing deaths and conflicted nuns are not the makings of a good comedy .
i give it a c- .

SOLUTION:
N