TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: synopsis : in " sooner than you think " america , the future of law enforcement resides in blade squad , a ragtag group of culturally diverse rollerblading cops with jetpacks strapped on their backs .
a dangerous criminal , however , attempts to destroy blade squad after his brother dies while being chased by them .
comments : so , what do an ex - gangbanger turned insubordinate traffic cop , a former prostitute with a substance abuse problem , and a junkie turned dennis rodman wannabe turned cop who crashed four police cruisers all have in common ?
why , they 're all members of blade squad , an elite new crimefighting unit wearing black uniforms , rollerblades , and jetpacks !
they also carry video cameras so they can communicate with one another
a la
the marines in james cameron 's aliens .
yes , it 's blade squad , the fox network 's wednesday night movie of the week .
this " movie , " marking its dubious world premiere today , curiously has a number of guest stars .
"
how can a movie have guest stars ?
"
you may ask .
well , blade squad is not really a movie so to speak but a 2 hour pilot for a possible tv series packaged as a movie .
blade squad is dumb .
blade squad is loud .
blade squad is obnoxious .
blade squad will probably be a ratings hit and spawn a long - lived tv series .
why not ?
after all , television has given its audience crimefighters with talking cars ( " knight rider " ) , fast helicopters ( " airwolf " ) , and super fast motorcycles ( " street hawk " ) , and viewers have eaten it up in the past .
so , why not crimefighters with jet - powered roller blades ?
to be honest , as a made - for - tv presentation , blade squad is at least watchable .
the film has a relatively large cast of characters , a surprisingly intelligible albeit predictable script , and enough action sequences to keep one half - interested .
i 'd imagine adolescent males , probably the target audience of this turkey , would get a kick out of it .
i tried to keep that in mind when i watched blade squad .
i can remember liking " airwolf " and " street hawk " when i was 10 or 11 .
and , although this is n't saying much , blade squad is leaps and bounds better than the last fox network movie i had the displeasure of wasting time on : the insipidly awful generation x ( a huge disappointment considering the comic book 's terrific two - year beginning ) .
but , i digress .
despite its limited appeal , blade squad has a lot of kinks to work out if the movie is to become a tv series .
one , it suffers from mtv syndrome : a lot of quick shots and weird angles continuously jar the viewer 's senses while a near nonstop generic rock soundtrack blares incessantly in the background .
oh yeah ,
dylan 's " knockin ' on heaven 's door " and bowie 's
" i 'm afraid of americans " are used here ,
in rather poor taste .
two , blade squad needs a new crew for the sound .
the substandard sound editing irritated me to no end .
characters ' dialogue , at times , sounded choppy and unintelligible .
during one important scene , a song played loudly in the background . when a character spoke , the song 's volume dropped but did not disappear . as soon as that character finished speaking , the song 's volume immediately returned to its original level until the next character spoke .
this sounds trivial , i 'm sure , but it distracted me immensely .
finally , this is commercial television .
foul language is not allowed , typically , on commercial television .
thus , do n't use foul language in a made - for - tv production because that foul language has to be censored in some manner .
in an early scene of the film , for example , the lead good guy and bad guy have a minor confrontation in the streets .
when the good guy spouts out a bad word , a driver conveniently honks his car 's horn off - screen to muffle the word out .
in a " seinfeld " episode , this technique proved funny ; here ,
it seemed goofy and cut the dramatic tension considerably .
perhaps future writers , if a show is spun out of the movie , could take a cue from marvel comics ' 2099 series of comics .
make up a bunch of new bad words for the future .
this way , you do n't need a bunch of honking horns or other silly devices to cover up foul language .
compared to the usual crap broadcast tv networks have to offer in terms of movies , blade squad is a suitable exercise in camp .
when compared to , say , a movie studio film , blade squad has a lot in common with a term which shares its initials : bs .
( review written august 12 , 1998 )

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: capsule : not as bad a sequel as crow 2 or batman & robin , but still horribly putrid , cheesy and ill - conceived .
this one belongs in saturday morning cartoons . . .
extended review : you know , about halfway through this movie , i realized that if you hacked out everything except the fight scenes , you 'd have a damn fine 35 minutes or so of flashy , hong kong style martial arts .
beautifully choreographed by robin shou , who also plays liu kang , the fight scenes are both mind - blowing and graceful , acrobatic enough to make olympic gymnasts weep .
this is what made the original so fun , but
unfortunately for the sequel , we are without the frenetic directorial style of paul anderson .
instead , they got john r .
leonetti , the cinematographer for the original mortal kombat . not a good choice .
while the fight scenes are brutal and eye - popping , the rest of the movie looks like standard made for tv fare .
the acting is sub - par , which i could endure if it were not for a . )
the director 's style , b . )
the special effects , & c . )
the treatment of the story and characters .
a . )
mr .
leonetti should go back to lighting , in my opinion .
i could say dozens of bad things about him :
he way overuses slow - motion
, he has no eye for action , he ca n't get even mediocre performances out of actors , and so on .
but by far his worst move was the way he treated jumping .
apparantly , everybody can now fly .
hell , i 'm all for the occaisional gravity defying flip kick and whatnot , but not when it happens every few minutes , and is done so poorly .
better jumping and acrobatics has been seen in xena : warrior princess .
in short , they should have gotten paul anderson back .
or at least let robin shou direct . . .
b . )
unlike the first one , whose sfx were vibrant and somewhat realistic , mk : a 's special effects are bland , fake looking , and overall just plain bad
.
i counted at least half a dozen times that blue - screening was painfully obvious .
had this movie been made in the 80 's , it would have been ground - breaking .
but in today 's industry , it does n't even look finished .
c . )
now for
the _ really _ bad parts .
i admit , i 'm an avid fan of the mortal kombat series .
the games are amusing diversions , an easy way to work off stress and anger .
the first movie was a mindlessly fun thrillride .
this could have been a really cool movie .
it is n't .
the writers apparantly deemed it necessary to lower the target audience from teens to preschoolers .
some of the plot elements are just plain stupid .
how stupid ?
take , for instance , how our heroes move around .
they use giants spheres the roll around underground , supposedly at thousands of miles per hour . . .
oh boy . . .
even worse is the treatment of secondary characters .
blink and you 'll miss 'em .
most characters had more depth in the video games .
if you thought batman & robin was bad about this , you ai n't seen nothin' yet .
a good 75 % of the characters are introduced , kick somebody around a bit , then either die or are forgotten about .
there 's no explanation at all for this .
and for the final blasphemy , the fight that all the fans were waiting rabidly for , the fight hyped to be the most intricate of the movie , lasted about 3 minutes and then just sort of . . . ended .
it almost made me weep . to sum it all up , rent it on video , and fast - forward through everything except the fight scenes .

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: i have a confession .
even though i am a movie junkie - i saw eye of the beholder and yet i still watch movies
- i've never seen any of the original godzillas .
( note that godzilla 2000 is not a sequel to the u . s .
godzilla released in 1998
; it 's the american release of a 1999 godzilla flick called gojira ni - sen mireniamu . )
so , part of me was excited as i drove to the local multiplex to see godzilla 2000-the latest entry in an almost 50-year old franchise .
this was a long - awaited treat .
i was expecting a goofy good time , complete with bad dubbing , science fair level sets and a ludicrous plot line .
the last thing i expected was for the movie to be so ?
boring .
i can only imagine what the theatre full of kids i saw this with felt .
you do get all of the " so bad
they 're good " traits
so normally associated with the franchise .
but you have to sit through a snoozer plot that has the organization of a rorschach blot .
it 's a deal
i was n't willing to accept .
hiroshi kashiwabara and waturu mimura 's script crams in way too many details
, and in many cases , fails to follow up on them .
the maneuver is not only disconcerting , but gives the movie a permanent logy , weighty feel .
godzilla starts off destroying power plants and then just stops .
was it a whim ?
a bold political statement ?
i do n't know .
its foe , an ancient meteor that looks like prudential 's logo , does n't just fight the beast from the far east .
no , it 's got to have life - saving powers , a plot to erase " the data " from japan , a desire to clone and the ability to become a spaceship and then some kind of tentacled space creature .
there 's a battle between the head of the godzilla prediction unit ( takehiro murata ) and a slimy government official ( hiroshi abe ) over the handling of godzilla , and personal issues .
and then there 's the plucky news photographer and
blah , blah , blah .
it 's like watching magnolia all over again - except without the good writing , keen sociological insight and aimee mann songs .
what a waste . when the talking and the plot points stop hurtling at you , godzilla 2000 does the job - it 's entertaining and goes down easy .
the action scenes are cheesy in their grandeur though a little sluggish .
the dubbing is nice and awful , with murata sounding like he 's in constant need of a cough drop .
as for the dialogue , one line summarizes the goofiness factor : " did anyone see that flying rock go by ?
" this movie also marked the first time since the three stooges that i 've heard the word " imbecile " used in casual conversation .
though the summer movie season is drying up and godzilla 2000 has its moments ,
i would n't take kids to see it .
they 'll probably end up asking more questions than charlie rose .

SOLUTION:
N