In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.

"
you damn dirty apes !
"
that 's just one of the inadvertenty hilarious lines from planet of the apes that 's taken on a comedic context over time .
no one back then seemed to realize how over - the- top charlton heston 's acting style was , but it shows now , particularly in this " mystery science theater 3000 " wannabe
that was taken for a film masterpiece in its time , actually winning one oscar ( for makeup , no less ) and being nominated for a couple others .
it also spawned multiple sequels like beneath the planet of the apes , escape from the planet of the apes , return of the planet of the apes , beneath the escape from the return of the planet of the apes , planet of the apes : the next generation , police academy of the apes . . .
the list goes on .
heston is an american astronaut who spends a few thousand light years in space with his three companions and ends up on a planet not too dissimilar from earth .
the thing is , on this planet humans ca n't talk or think and the guys in the gorilla masks are the dominant species .
heston 's companions are killed or turned into vegetables by the apon is imprisoned .
he surprises them all with his gift of speech , making two primate scientists ( roddy mcdowall and kim hunter ) believe heston is the missing link between ape and man .
believe me , we movie critics have been thinking the same thing for years .
when the two apes present the idea before a judicial counsel ( the head ape being shakespearean actor maurice evans ) , it is received as heresy , for all good monkeys know
god " created ape in his image .
"
but heston has already seen a cave that contains evidence that humans were originally the dominant species , before apes ever gained the ability to speak and run for president .
and he takes them there , holding up a baby doll and yelling , " if humans could n't speak , then how do you account for this talking doll ? ! " and how do you account for your acting ability , mr .
heston ?
the absolute most laughable scene comes with the movie 's surprise conclusion .
i wo n't reveal the details except to say it involves heston falling to his knees on a beach and yelling " god
damn you all to hell !
" several times in succession .
the movie is atrocious and should only be viewed by those members of society who like to watch bad movies and laugh at them .
what makes planet of the apes even more amusing is that it was supposed to function as some sort of social irony , a condemnation of fundamentals who reject the theories of evolution .
but let me tell you , if darwin could see the ape masks and hear the rotten dialogue exchanges ( heston [ to female ape ]
: may i kiss you before i go ?
ape :
but . . . you 're so . . .
ugly . ) , he 'd convert to creationism on the spot .
luckily for us , science - fiction movies have evolved over time to the point at which some of them are actually good .
N

capsule : not as bad a sequel as crow 2 or batman & robin , but still horribly putrid , cheesy and ill - conceived .
this one belongs in saturday morning cartoons . . .
extended review : you know , about halfway through this movie , i realized that if you hacked out everything except the fight scenes , you 'd have a damn fine 35 minutes or so of flashy , hong kong style martial arts .
beautifully choreographed by robin shou , who also plays liu kang , the fight scenes are both mind - blowing and graceful , acrobatic enough to make olympic gymnasts weep .
this is what made the original so fun , but
unfortunately for the sequel , we are without the frenetic directorial style of paul anderson .
instead , they got john r .
leonetti , the cinematographer for the original mortal kombat . not a good choice .
while the fight scenes are brutal and eye - popping , the rest of the movie looks like standard made for tv fare .
the acting is sub - par , which i could endure if it were not for a . )
the director 's style , b . )
the special effects , & c . )
the treatment of the story and characters .
a . )
mr .
leonetti should go back to lighting , in my opinion .
i could say dozens of bad things about him :
he way overuses slow - motion
, he has no eye for action , he ca n't get even mediocre performances out of actors , and so on .
but by far his worst move was the way he treated jumping .
apparantly , everybody can now fly .
hell , i 'm all for the occaisional gravity defying flip kick and whatnot , but not when it happens every few minutes , and is done so poorly .
better jumping and acrobatics has been seen in xena : warrior princess .
in short , they should have gotten paul anderson back .
or at least let robin shou direct . . .
b . )
unlike the first one , whose sfx were vibrant and somewhat realistic , mk : a 's special effects are bland , fake looking , and overall just plain bad
.
i counted at least half a dozen times that blue - screening was painfully obvious .
had this movie been made in the 80 's , it would have been ground - breaking .
but in today 's industry , it does n't even look finished .
c . )
now for
the _ really _ bad parts .
i admit , i 'm an avid fan of the mortal kombat series .
the games are amusing diversions , an easy way to work off stress and anger .
the first movie was a mindlessly fun thrillride .
this could have been a really cool movie .
it is n't .
the writers apparantly deemed it necessary to lower the target audience from teens to preschoolers .
some of the plot elements are just plain stupid .
how stupid ?
take , for instance , how our heroes move around .
they use giants spheres the roll around underground , supposedly at thousands of miles per hour . . .
oh boy . . .
even worse is the treatment of secondary characters .
blink and you 'll miss 'em .
most characters had more depth in the video games .
if you thought batman & robin was bad about this , you ai n't seen nothin' yet .
a good 75 % of the characters are introduced , kick somebody around a bit , then either die or are forgotten about .
there 's no explanation at all for this .
and for the final blasphemy , the fight that all the fans were waiting rabidly for , the fight hyped to be the most intricate of the movie , lasted about 3 minutes and then just sort of . . . ended .
it almost made me weep . to sum it all up , rent it on video , and fast - forward through everything except the fight scenes .
N

i 'm guessing -- and from the available evidence , it 's not a great guess -- that burn hollywood burn began life as an insider satire of hollywood excess , stupidity , ego and power - mongering .
if so , the film that ended up on the screen ranks as one of the most spectacularly ironic unintentional jokes in film history .
it has already been well - documented that the original title , an alan smithee film , became a problem when miserable test screenings forced re - cuts against the will of director arthur hiller , prompting hiller himself to opt for the directors ' guild - mandated pseudonym of alan smithee .
that left a film satire in the hands of writer joe eszterhas , as humorless a hack as ever put finger to word processor .
and you could just smell the disaster brewing .
if you 're unfortunate enough to sit through burn hollywood burn , you 'll still be smelling that disaster long after the lights come up .
ostensibly , it 's a pseudo - documentary account of a director named alan smithee ( eric idle ) who loses control of a big - budget action film called trio starring sylvester stallone , whoopi goldberg and jackie chan ( all of whom appear as themselves ) .
when the only recourse available to him is abandoning the project to be called " an alan smithee film " -- which , of course , it already is -- smithee steals the negative of the film and threatens to destroy it .
among the parties interviewed are the film 's producer james edmunds ( ryan o'neal ) and studio boss jerry glover ( richard jeni ) , who spend virtually the entire film narrating the story while painfully unfunny things go on around them .
it 's bad enough that burn hollywood burn has -- literally -- not a single laugh for its entire , blissfully brief 84 minutes .
what makes it even worse is eszterhas ' insistence upon telling every bad joke not once , but twice or even three times .
michael ovitz references , showgirls references , oral sex references , whoopi goldberg / ted danson references -- all show up multiple times with all the subtlety that is eszterhas ' stock - in - trade .
the reduncancy even manages to turn actively offensive with some frequency , notably with the hilarious use of the word " feminist " as an identifying caption for every single female character in the film .
by the time coolio and chuck d show up as black independent film - makers the brothers brothers ( cleverly identified as " bad a-- " and " badder a-- " , among other unprintable things ) , you may be ready to walk out of the theater with your coat over your head to avoid being identified .
those documentary captions , for all their leaden obviousness , allow the best insight into what 's so hideously wrong with burn hollywood burn .
not content to stick any hollywood type with only one jab from his rapier wit , eszterhas fills the screen with bullet points every time a new character appears .
the producer is a " liar " who " slept in the white house ; " the media are " maggots " and " leeches " working for publications like " the new york slimes " and " newsleak " ( with the camera zooming in on the altered title to make sure you do n't miss the joke ) .
it does n't even matter that eszterhas tags " penile implant " after his own name when he makes a cameo , because it seems like such a desperate attempt to feign self - deprecation .
this is a petulant schoolboy 's idea of satire -- pictures of hollywood insiders to which eszterhas has taken a pen to draw little moustaches and black out the teeth .
the last stomach - churning straw comes when burn hollywood burn closes with out - takes over the closing credits , the kind that show the audience how much fun everyone was having making the film that just sucked an hour and a half of your life away .
perhaps it was just a final , desperate attempt by eszterhas to convince himself
there was some purpose behind the film , or to convince everyone involved that a few blown lines warranted threatening to blow their whole career .
pity everyone involved with this excessive , ego - driven " satire " of excess and ego .
it 's too bad that only directors can remove their names from noxious material like this .
otherwise , you might have seen credits for burn hollywood burn overflowing with alan smithees .

N