TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: i think the first thing this reviewer should mention is wether or not i am a fan of the x - files .
first , let me assure you that no prior experience with the series is required to fully enjoy this movie .
the producers are not stupid , making a movie just for fans of the series is not profitable .
you have to reach for a larger audience .
therefore , the movie is quite user - friendly .
altough , non - fans will only fail to understand certain emotions behind the looks many characters exchange .
but fear not , duchovny and another man later
on provide more than adequate background info on what is going on .
you will never feel as if you just walked in on the third act of some great opera .
in any case , the answer is no .
i am not a fan of the x - files
, i only watch it when nothing else is on and i prefer millennium .
however , since the fox network as been so kind as to air several key episodes for several weeks before the movie 's opening weekend
i took that opportunity to test the movie .
i taped all of these episodes and watched them only after seing the movie , i am glad to report that i learned nothing new .
everything you need to know is explained to the viewer by duchovny and others .
i know i am going maybe a bit too far to make my point
but everybody should get the chance to experience this movie .
warning : major spoilers follow !
please do not read to fully enjoy this movie , you must not be able know what is coming , what exactly is over that hill and what that weird " hummm " sound is all about .
you have been warned .
the x - files is what a summer should be . exciting , scary , great special effects
( unlike other summer movies the effects do not take over the movie and are only there when it is really necessary ) and good performances .
this is coming from a guy who thinks david duchovny is the human equivalent of a wooden plank .
from start to finish , this movie does not let go of you .
when i compare it with last summer 's movies the best way to describe it would be : take the excitement and great score from face / off and the deadly use of sound from event horizon .
this flick is scary , not in a b movie kind of way where you always know where and when the critter will jump at our heroes .
in fact , the first time the critter in this movie makes an apperance it is totally out of the blue .
you might as well bring ear plugs because this thing is louuuudd !
the last time a monster scared me that much was when i first saw aliens as a six year old kid .
you know , when you are affraid to put your feet on the floor because the creature might be under the chair , or when you keep trying to cover your throat with your shirt ?
so yeah , the x - files is scary .
and guess what ?
you never even have to see the monster but your imagination works overtime and it sure beats having to watch a flawed , computer generated , babyzilla
, it looks like you could walk right through it not even scarier than your grandma in undies type of monster .
do not think that the x - files is a monster movie .
in fact , the creature is there for maybe three minutes total .
no , the x - files is definately a mulder episode of the series .
scully is at his side , of course , but gillian anderson gets maybe half the screen time .
she has a couple of good scenes with duchovny , but she gets kidnapped during the last half hour of the movie
so she does not get to do much .
no , this is mulder 's time in the spotlight .
by now , you have heard of the scene where mulder " showers " independence day .
if you have not then i will not spoil it for you , let 's just say that due to recent events mulder should be " showering " godzilla instead .
to those of you wondering if mulder discovers that the truth is indeed out there .
.. who cares ! ?
if he did find it
the series would over anyway so what are you complaining about ?
the dialogue in interesting and the director is marvelous .
the camera is almost always looking over the shoulder of our heroes so we feel as if we are right there with them when they open a door or climb a hill .
the script is spotless , every thing that happens happens for a purpose .
if you are confused by something , do not worry because it will all become clear later on but , and i can not stress this enough , pay attention ! ! !
unlike most summer movies , the dialogue is twice as important as the effects .
miss one vital piece of information and , like most people who talk during movies , you will go home and tell all your friends how this movie made no sense .
also , to those people who need to go to the bathroom during movies .
.. do n't !
the person who watched the movie with me had to go twice and twice she missed an important conversation .
there is no time to take a breather between scenes because , again unlike most summer movies ( godzilla anybody ? )
the x - files does not need to fill scenes between the suspense and the action with useless subplots , every scene is crucial and serves a purpose . who needs to see the blond chiouaoua have a " big emotional scene " between godzilla attacks ?
so far this summer i have seen only one movie who ranks higher on my list of movies
i 'd recommend and
that is the truman show but it only wins by a nose .
but the truman show is not what i would call a summer movie , the x - files is .
what more do you ask from a summer movie other than the chance to be excited ?
cool effects ?
it 's got some .
pulse pounding ?
hell yes
!
strangely enough , i think that fans of the series will hate this movie while non - fans will have a good time .
it does not provide answers to the show 's many questions , the status quo remains nearly the same and , no , mulder and scully do not get together .
rating
: four and a half out of five stars for the best movie yet this summer , several jump right out of your seat thrills
, many " whoah , i never saw that one coming !
" moments , four " holy shit , where the hell did that come from " and one heck of an ending .
you may wonder where this movie lost half a star .
well , i swore never to give a movie the full five stars
so i had to find something about the in his ice truck , the tracks it leaves in the snow behind him go on for several miles
but then they just stop .
it 's pretty obvious the film 's makers drove the truck for several miles to give the appearance that mulder had been driving for a long time , but in the end it looks like mulder just dropped from the sky and started driving .

SOLUTION: P

PROBLEM: plot : a rich guy who does n't believe in love , orders a mail - order bride for himself .
that very evening , the couple is married and fall madly in love soon thereafter .
but what 's this ?
one of them might not be the person they are pretending to be ?
wow . . .
a sin , indeed .
critique : easily
one of the worst movies that i 've seen all year .
too long , too boring , too predictable and too ridiculous for anyone interested in watching a good movie .
what the hell were they thinking when they made this thing ?
( it 's no wonder that the film has been sitting on the racks for about a year ) this felt like a really bad tv movie of the week , with some nudity stuffed in from time to time , just to wake up the audience .
have you ever switched channels and fallen upon one of those ridiculously melodramatic tv movies , one that you just could n't help but switch back to from time to time , just to make sure that it was n't part of some sick joke ?
well , this movie is exactly like that , only it is n't a joke , it is n't on tv
and you are asked to pay money to see it ! !
i say again . . .
what the shite were they thinking ?
okay , so where do i start ?
first of all , the trailer of this film gives away the movie 's main plot twist , the betrayal .
so for the first half hour of the film , you 're basically just sitting there , watching these two " lovers " go through the motions until the " betrayal " occurs .
whoopee , big surprise .
second of all , angelina jolie is horribly miscast in this part .
why ?
well , it 's like this : not for one second
do you ever believe that she is not a nasty backstabbing woman !
i mean , it 's like all of those people who complained about jack nicholson being psycho from the start of the shining , well , the same goes here .
every look in jolie 's eyes screams " psycho " !
then of course , you have the case of the " patsy " husband , a man who just ca n't seem to figure out anything in time .
i mean . . .
how boring is that for the audience ?
you 're watching this guy screw up time after time after time , and somehow , we 're supposed to feel sorry or care about this dude .
no , thanks !
and if we do n't care about him , and we really do n't care about her ( she 's a beeyatch and as confused as we are about her actual motivations in the film ) , who the hell are we supposed to care about in this film ?
well , i 'll tell you .
the only thing that i was worrying about the whole way through this picture was whether or not i 'd actually fall asleep before the end credits rolled .
no suspense , no chemistry between the leads , no real love or passion , no sense of surprise , plenty of plot holes for everyone and an extra moronic ending
.
so why am i even giving this film a rating of three points ?
well , it 's actually pretty simple .
i liked the locations in the movie and the groovy score , but my primary reason for slipping three notches onto this bedpost is for the gratuitous shots of jolie 's boobies ( that 's two points right there ! )
and another one for antonio 's ass ( hairless , just for the record ) .
everything else in this movie was pointless , boring and just plain stupid .
try imagining a soft - porn movie .
. .
but without the plot !
that 's pretty much what you 've got here .
a low point in the careers of both stars .
oops , i almost forgot to mention the crappy dialogue . .
.
god
oh mighty . .
. make it stop ! !
where 's joblo coming from ?
american psycho ( 9/10 ) - cruel intentions ( 8/10 ) - eyes wide shut ( 6/10 ) - fatal attraction ( 8/10 ) -
playing by heart ( 7/10 ) - under suspicion ( 7/10 ) - what lies beneath ( 8/10 ) - what women want ( 4/10 ) - whipped ( 7/10 )

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: plot : a group of asbestos cleaners get a job removing the gunk from an old insane asylum .
as each day passes , the crew members begin to discover things about the place and themselves which set other things in motion .
saying anything else about the plot would be a crime .
have fun . . .
critique : " i feel like shooting myself in the head
" are the first words that came out of my mouth after seeing this movie , a good indication as to what kind of film to expect here .
this ai n't your average " happy go lucky " kind of picture .
this is a deliberately slow - paced mystery - horror film drenched in atmosphere , with a very creepy insane asylum ( in which most of the film takes place ) , very few clues up - front and lots to talk about afterwards .
will it bore some people to sleep ?
you bet it will !
is it made for the scream audiences of the day ?
absolutely not !
i guess you can describe this film as a horror movie for the " cerebral crowd " .
a film that patiently unwraps itself frame after frame , giving away very little with each step and each sound , unwinding itself until its final scenes offer up a world of revelations and plenty more to discuss later .
i 've always loved movies that have me talking about them afterwards like the shining and lost highway and this film fits right into that group .
in fact , i guess i can pussyfoot around the actual word all i want but the best way to describe this kind of movie is a " mindfuck " .
if you feel like watching a movie that moves very slowly , gives you a handful of characters with divergent backgrounds , tosses a few very ambiguous and supernatural cookies your way and is extremely disturbing once you put it all together , well ,
then this movie is definitely for you !
it 's the kind of film that you actually have to see twice to fully appreciate ( damn , i missed that whole " peanut butter " thing ! )
and one that will likely creep the shit out of you if watched alone in the dark .
" brrrrrrrrr .
.
.
now what was that sound in the basement ?
honey , can you go check ? " and one thing this film does n't have , unlike its hollywood - ian counterparts like the haunting , is special effects .
in fact , that 's one of the greater things about this movie : it feels real because it looks like it 's actually taped on video with very credible actors in very credible circumstances ( i did some research
and it was , in fact , shot on digital video .
. .
ah - ha ! ) .
another great thing about it is that it 's actually very gory and somewhat violent in theme , and yet we rarely see anything of the sort on the big screen ( it 's mostly implied , kids ! ) .
and as clich ?
d as it might be to say .
. .
it 's usually much scarier when stuff is left to our imagination or implied in movies as such .
other films that this one reminded me of include henry : portrait of a serial killer and the blair witch project , with that same real sense of dread , brooding and terror .
the film does however move awfully slow and if you really do n't get " into " it completely ( you really need to concentrate here ) , you will lose the motion of the story and the pent - up tension might be released .
but overall , this film is yet another great example of the horror genre making a very cool comeback this year with no tight tanktops in sight .
and with david caruso acting like the king hotshot like only he can , how can you go wrong ?
definitely not a film for everyone but
a must - see for anyone looking to throw themselves into the psyche of the disturbed ( count me in ! ) .
stanley kubrick would be proud !
oh yeah . . .
so where 's that gun again . . .
?
where 's joblo coming from ?
the blair witch project ( 4/10 ) - blair witch 2 ( 7/10 ) - the haunting ( 3/10 ) - the house on haunted hill ( 7/10 )
- lost highway ( 10/10 ) - the pledge ( 6/10 ) - the shining ( 9/10 ) - the sixth sense ( 8/10 ) - unbreakable ( 8/10 )

SOLUTION:
P