TASK DEFINITION: In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
PROBLEM: another formula ' feel good ' quirky comedy from the british isles , much like " waking ned devine , " and a host of other popular low budget movies that turned a nifty profit off a thin story line .
it is filled with likable establishment types living in a quaint town , such as tolerant vicars and policemen , plenty of eccentrics , and of locals who stick together through thick and thin .
the strength of this film lies in its rational theme , that smoking pot should be legalized since it is even less dangerous than drinking alcohol .
the film is tolerable until after its first hour , it then falls completely apart , becoming just too absurd to consider as anything but
sitcom fluff gone completely bananas .
but its long overdue message of decriminalization for certain drugs is on target and allows the film to , at least , be viewed as containing a pertinent message .
its message is especially appropriate nowadays considering the ' war on drugs '
is about to be escalated into colombia .
the drug war has been a total failure so far and with no hope of it being won by law enforcement methods in the future , it has so far just ended up causing america 's jails to be overcrowded with non - violent drug prisoners and offers zero hope of curtailing america 's drug usage and drug supply .
billions of dollars have just been allocated by congress to get officially involved in the colombian civil war , by backing a corrupt government ( remember vietnam ! )
with the idea that military might could stop the cocaine and marijuana harvests in that country .
everything about this proposed action smacks of vietnam , with this scenario closer to home , so
what probably awaits such an effort is a more futile result than the other war .
the film 's mild theme of showing squares getting into the weed business and finding it acceptable by the public , something that should have been accepted some 40 years ago , is a theme long overdue for public acceptance , but one that is better received late than never .
there has to be some common sense in distinguishing what drugs should be legalized and how to educate the public on this , rather than making it a police matter altogether .
the film opens in a quaint cornish seaside village at the funeral of the husband of a middle - aged woman , grace ( brenda blethyn ) , who fell out of an airplane , evidently committing suicide .
the widow soon finds out her husband was a bigger bastard than she imagined .
he left her with a stack of enormous bills and put up , without her knowledge , their comfortable 300 year old house as collateral for a failed business venture by taking out a second mortgage .
the widow finds herself bankrupt and with no marketable skills to pay back her husband 's enormous debts and prevent her from losing the house and becoming homeless .
she also knows that he was having an affair with a sophisticated woman from london , honey ( quick ) .
what makes the affair doubly unsatisfying , is that when conferring with honey , she finds out that he was a tiger with her in bed but refrained from having sex with her .
even though the locals try to help the bankrupt widow out as best they can , the creditors swoop down on her like vultures .
her gardener and handyman , matthew ( ferguson ) , decides to stay on with her , despite his last check bouncing . since she is an expert amateur horticulturist , he convinces her to help him revive his hemp plants , which he grows for private use .
the two soon see this as a possibly big business opportunity , as grace works miracles with the plants which turn out to be high - quality stuff .
for grace , this is a way to save her house and get her out of debt ; for the scotsman , matthew , it offers a chance for him to continue to live in this beautiful village and earn enough money to marry his fisherman girlfriend nicky ( valerie ) .
the locals all let the illegal activities go on undisturbed :
the police sergeant ( campbell ) pretends not to notice what the bright lights in grace 's greenhouse is for , the friendly vicar ( phillips ) counsels about the wisdom of not taking action over something that you ca n't control , and the doctor ( clunes ) enjoys smoking the weed for recreation .
the story becomes incredulous when grace decides to go to london and score with a big - time drug dealer instead of having matthew go , because she finds out nicky is pregnant and does n't want matthew to end up in jail .
it is interesting to note , that no one thinks smoking grass is bad for you , only that one can go to jail .
the scene with grace on portobello road in the notting hill section of london , trying to find a drug dealer , while dressed out of place , in a white dress and hat one would wear to a tea party in cornwall but not on the streets of notting hill while looking to make a drug deal , was completely hokey and the film descended into a huge black hole , whereby it never recovered its dignity .
the film moves into the formula mode , whereas grace beats the odds against her failing to survive , as she meets an international drug dealer , a frenchman ( tcheky karyo ) , who is first seen threatening to cut off her fingers but later becomes her business partner and husband as she becomes a millionaire and writes a best selling fiction book about her experiences , thereby becoming a celebrity .
things work out in a ridiculous way , where there is a total breakdown in the character development of grace , where this matronly figure suddenly becomes merely a cartoon figure instead of live flesh and blood .
there are a lot of silly giggles that come forth and the film has just enough of an acting performance by brenda blethyn to breathe air into it before it comes to its belated finale , as it drones on with its transparently gratuitous upbeat tone , until it makes the audience feel good that the sweet old lady succeeded .
this ' unhip ' film leaves one with the impression that smoking and growing pot is silly , but should be tolerated as something
naughty middle - aged widows screwed by their terrible former husbands must do in order not to remain destitute .
ummm !

SOLUTION: N

PROBLEM: available for rental - october 12 , 1999 10 things i hate about you is an update of the classic play , the taming of the shrew .
that said , drop any pre - conceived notions of what shakespeare 's work is supposed to be like and welcome yourself to padua high school , home of a student counselor ( allison janney ) who obsesses over the male penis ; a slightly too hip and racist african - american english teacher ( daryl mitchell ) ;
a new kid named cameron ( joseph gordon - levitt ) ; a model named joey ( andrew keegan ) , the subject of cameron and joey 's crushes ; bianca ( larisa oleynik ) ; and bianca 's sister - the shrew ( julia stiles in a marvelous performance ) - whose name is katarina , kat for short .
with movies about high schools similar to these running through projectors like water down the nile , it would be quite easy to write off 10 things i hate about you as just another doltish comedic - romance .
yet , you must realize that the story is timeless , and a few hundred years later it is equally as witty and comical
as when elizabeth gleefully looked on , groundlings below and stuffed brassieres on stage .
the first reminder of the original scribe can be found in katarina and bianca 's last name : stratford .
their family is run by walter stratford ( pretty woman 's larry miller ) , a doctor who is all too familiar with teenage pregnancy and guards his children accordingly .
in what he thinks to be a moment of ironic humor , the family " no dating " policy is amended to " bianca can date .
. .
when [ katarina ] does .
" with prom just ahead , bianca 's fate is grim ; unless , of course , she can tame the shrew .
do n't think this mission to be a simple one , as bianca kindly points out , her sister " .
.
. is a particularly hideous breed of loser .
" getting katarina to date is complex and oftentimes confusing .
when cameron , who likes bianca , learns of her father 's new rule , he is quick to consult a friend for advice .
the scheme they dream up is to fully exploit " someone with money .
" in this case , that is joey - the other guy with a crush on bianca .
cameron 's friend , a loser by teenage verdict , convinces joey to pay someone who has enough guts to take the shrew out .
the solution lies no farther away than the second blatant reminder of the master scribe : patrick verona ( heath ledger ) .
this verona is far from fair ; rumor has it that he previously laid his scene in prison .
moreover , katarina openly opined to the aforementioned english teacher that " hemingway was an alcoholic who hung around picasso , hoping to nail his leftovers .
"
the laws of high school cinema inexorably turn patrick and katarina into romeo and juliet .
providing a constant reminder of the fact that this is n't exactly what shakespeare had in mind are the elements obligatory to a high school comedy :
a party polluted with liquor , a best friend 's betrayal , and prom .
it is the latter that has become infamous for closing films like drive me crazy , american pie , never been kissed , carrie , she 's all that , and ca n't hardly wait .
yet surely even these practices have roots in shakespeare ; falstaff was a drunk , romeo and juliet met at a party , and caesar learned about loyalty the hard way .

SOLUTION: P

PROBLEM: to put it bluntly , ed wood would have been proud of this .
a totally ridiculous plot is encompassed with bad humor , hokey drama , zero logic and a crap screenplay .
also , a beautifully anti - climactic ending .
not to say it did n't look intriguing when i saw the previews .
so much for truth in advertising .
roland emmerich , who 's later " independence day " would look like " the 400 blows " compared to this , co - writed and directed this inane sci - fi film which uses the cliche of there being some connection between eqypt and aliens .
in a useless opening sequence , men find a stone in 1914 with hieroglyphics on it .
it would n't be till present day ( ' 94 ) till they would actually figure it out .
they 're decipherer ?
a slightly - neurotic scientist ( nice twist ) , dr .
dan jackson ( james spader , doing his best outside of erotic thrillers and some indy fare ) who 's life sucks so much that people walk out of his lectures after the third word .
why do they use him to decipher what no one else could ?
so there is a hokey ending !
duh !
he figures it out in about a minute .
yea .
and then they get a suicidal colonel or something
, " jack " o'neill ( kurt russel , with his wyat earp locks in the beginning then a flat - top that would make howie long snap into a fetal position ) .
why a suicidal colonel ?
for the ending !
you 'll get the hang of this .
they open the stargate , a bunch of them go through it with a bomb to blow it up if they find anything bad .
after an overdone special effects thing , they 're . . .
inside a goddam pyramid .
so they went to egypt ,
right ?
wrong .
they 're on another planet that was filmed in egypt .
they discover a cilvilization ruled by ra , the sun god ( the androginous jaye davidson , with a voice modifier to make him sound like barry white with asthma ) , and there are fights , explosions and a kiss between two people .
yea .
also melodrama , stupidity , hokey scenes and a bizarre language .
an anti - climactic ending ends with stupid lines ( " say hello to king tut , asswhole ! "
- the quintessential line , lemme tell ya ) and some convenient pesudo - pseudo - pseudo - character development .
by the end , you just wanna go home and watch , i do n't know , the " outer limits " or something .
the script 's terrible .
the special effects are okay , but nothing great .
the story 's so weak that it 's almost opaque
.
the whole experience just is n't worth it unless you 're so bored that you 'd consider watching a " full house " marathon . . .
or this .
i 'd pick this , obviously , but still ,
it 's just not fun at all .
and i ca n't wait for it to premier on mst3k .

SOLUTION:
N