instruction:
In this task, you must classify if a given review is positive/negative, indicating your answer as P or N.
question:
i am a steven seagal fan .
i only say this now because " mufti splenetik " is n't my real name and because i probably need to explain why i went into this film expecting great things .
any proud seagal fan worth his beans will tell you that the seagal formula is something you can depend on .
seagal films can always be counted on for minimal dialogue , heaps of expendable baddies with extemely crunchable bones ( which we 'll always hear when seagal does his limb - twisting thing ) , rarely a female co - lead in sight ( unless it 's a real - life model - wife who has n't worked since weird science ) and , usually the worst possible titles you can imagine .
not to mention very straightforward plots , generally all - round bad dialogue and mr implacable leather - face himself in that same black outfit he 's been in since nico doing his " my hands are sharp , nimble knives " thing , seagal the stoic , sir petrified ponytail , duke of dull .
in the glimmer man , seagal breaks out of this formula : he gets a * sidekick *
, attempts to banter , and puts on a new vest .
he 's also put on quite a lot of weight .
small potatoes , you may say , a man should be able to accessorize and banter if he wants to , but damnit , if it ai n't broke , why fix it ?
( more on this disappointed person 's dashed expectations later ) .
as jack cole , seagal is a homicide detective with a questionable past .
while he and his partner ( played by keenen ivory wayans ) are investigating a series of ritual killings , cole himself becomes a suspect , especially when a background check run by campbell reveals practically nothing on cole .
it turns out that cole is a former trained government assassin ( you just ca n't trust these homicide detectives ) , someone whom victims used to catch just a glimpse of in the jungle before he pounced on them , and hence , well , you know , that " glimmer man " thing .
an increasingly fishy homicide investigation in the present soon leads to the gradual uncovering of a larger , more threatening conspiracy that involves a crooked businessman ( bob gunton ) , cole 's former cia boss ( brian cox ) and deals involving chemical weapons .
the glimmer man plot is pretty standard stuff , drawing ( as with his other films ) elements from the hotter films of the year ( eg , se7en ) .
it 's the other changes that disappoint .
for example , although there 's a fair amount of violence in this movie , there 's also the disastrous pairing of seagal with keenen ivory wayans , probably the best known of the wayans tribe ( how many are there , exactly ? ) from television 's " in living colour .
" wayans plays whiney straightman to seagal 's bead - adorned and brocade - draped cole , keeping up his " are you crazy " part of the dialogue with wasted zest .
as campbell , wayans confines himself to bemoaning his new partner 's eccentric habits , but the chemistry between the two is minimal , and seagal 's wooden comebacks make for painful watching .
a cook in under seige 2 , seagal is now a buddhist who speaks chinese and wears prayer beads and intricate silk jackets over his normal black ensemble .
he chants , refuses to fight unless truly provoked and introduces campbell to powdered deer penis to cure his allergies .
again , a benign ( if trite ) plot device except for the fact that these new character traits require seagal to speak more than usual .
heck , he has to deliver punchlines and carry a steady conversation with someone other than himself for a large part of the film .
is that a lot to ask of the seague ? too much .
seagal 's best characteristic used to be that he knew his purpose in this already complicated world of movies : to crunchily snap off bad guy appendages , and to do it silently , and alone .
not for seagal , the snappy one - liners of arnold and stallone , nor the attempts to show that he can act , much less think .
no kindergarten cop , no oscar , just simple , unadulterated deathblows .
that 's really how it must have started : like - minded fans who knew what they wanted streamed in to watch the seague do his thing , knowing that never in the seagal universe would they ever have to see him do anything else .
we trusted him .
we got to know him .
now , betrayal .
i do n't know if i can watch another seagal movie without that little niggling doubt that he 's going to try to be funny again .
i 'll try , but it wo n't be easy .
if you have n't watched the glimmer man yet ,
you might want to wait for the video to come out .
it 's easier to just fast forward the dialogue parts and linger on the action sequences .
after all , if we ca n't depend on our fantasies , what can we depend on ?
the flying inkpot rating system :
* wait for the tv2 broadcast .
*
* a little creaky , but still better than staying at home with gotcha !
*
* * pretty good , bring a friend .
*
*
* * amazing , potent stuff .
*
*
*
* * perfection .
see it twice .
mufti spelenetik is still a steven seagal fan .
everybody makes mistakes once in awhile .
answer:
N


question:
its a stupid little movie that trys to be clever and sophisticated , yet trys a bit too hard .
with the voices of woody allen , gene hackman , jennifer lopez , sylvester stallone , and sharon stone , this computer - animated yak - fest ( think toy story [ 1996 ] filled with used merchandising ) is one for the ant - eaters .
the main story is the independence of a worker named z ( allen ) .
he wants more to life than just digging away underground for the colony .
when he finds out about ` ` insectopia , " a mythical place where all insects can run free , z , along with his colony 's princess ( stone ) , journey out into the world to find a meaning for life .
about 15 minutes into the picture , i began to wonder what the point of the film was .
halfway through , i still did n't have an answer .
by the end credits , i just gave up and ran out .
antz is a mindless mess of poor writing and even poorer voice - overs .
allen is nonchalant , while i would have guessed , if i had n't seen her in the mighty and basic instinct , stone ca n't act , even in a cartoon .
this film is one for the bugs : unfunny and extremely dull .
hey , a bug 's life may have a good time doing antz in .
answer:
N


question:
spoiled rich kid kelley morse ( chris klein ) receives a new mercedes for a graduation present .
he and his buddies take it for a joyride to a small nearby town , where he proceeds to torment the locals simply because he 's rich and they 're not .
he ends up provoking jasper ( josh hartnett ) into a race and as a result , the local gas station and diner are destroyed when they crash into it .
kelley is sentenced to rebuild the diner , and has to live with jasper in a spare room over his family 's barn .
jasper 's girlfriend sam ( leelee sobieski ) soon takes a liking to kelley however , despite the fact that 1 ) it was her family 's diner that was destroyed and b ) all kelley does is sit around , sulk , and smart off to the townspeople .
but when she sees him sweaty and shirtless , that 's apparently all she needs to lose her feelings for jasper ( whose only fault seems to be a perpetual case of hat hair ) .
so sobieski soon falls in love with kelley , especially after the day she follows him through the woods and hears him giving his graduation speech ( which he was unable to deliver because he caused the destruction of property and nearly killed dozens of people ) .
in the speech , kelley quotes a poem by robert frost , which just so happens to be sam 's favorite poem as well .
awwwww .
soon they 're frolicking around in the fields and for some reason waste no time letting people in town ( especially jasper 's best friend ) see them together .
kelley continues to make an ass of himself in town , especially when he shows up at the town dance , drunk and steaming because sam went with jasper .
kelley runs off and decides to leave town .
sam catches up to him at the bus station and he asks her to come to boston with him .
jasper shows up and tearfully confesses to sam just how much he loves her , and sam , without even breaking stride basically says " see ya ! " and takes off to boston with kelley .
here on earth goes in so many wrong directions from the start that by the time its fairly decent ending comes around , its completely worthless .
chris klein and leelee sobieski are two of my current favorite young performers , and it 's because of their presence that i watched this film in the first place .
however , not long into the proceedings
i wanted to just reach into the film and strangle them both .
i should n't have such feelings towards people i like , but their characters are so infuriating that . . .
well trust me , you 'll feel the same way .
even though both of the lead male characters are usually in the wrong , kelley is hands down the more unlikable of the two , simply because his jerkish actions are calculated .
he intends to be a jackass each and every time he does it .
jasper on the other hand , only reacts to kelley 's provocations , and afterwards comes across as being truly sorry for his impulsive actions .
but , as in life , nice guys finish last .
for the entire film we watch sam fall in love with the guy
no one likes while the film 's only sympathetic character gets completely crushed .
then , a cancer subplot comes into play ( where things get even more infuriating , if you can imagine that ) .
what , things were n't depressing enough for you
mr .
screenwriter ?
who greenlit this project ? who " on earth " thought this would entertain anyone ?
perhaps if the film had been structured where kelley perhaps felt some remorse after he caused the destruction of property and nearly killed dozens of people .
but even after he 's destroyed these people 's lives he continues to be a snob to them , and ruins one more for good measure .
here on earth is available on dvd from fox home entertainment .
it contains the film in its original theatrical aspect ratio of 1 . 85
: 1 and is enhanced for 16x9 televisions .
extras include jessica simpson 's music video for " where you are " , a commercial for the film 's soundtrack ( which by the way is the only good thing about the film ) , the original theatrical trailer and five tv spots , trailers for other fox releases ( anna and the king , anywhere but here , the beach , drive me crazy , ever after , romeo + juliet , simply irresistible ) , as well as that new fox promo touting their upcoming dvd releases that i really enjoy .
the picture and sound quality on the disc are fine . . .
nothing that will challenge anyone 's audio / video systems of course .
fans of this movie ( if any exist ) should enjoy the dvd release .
here on earth is not entertaining nor is it compelling .
no joy or entertainment value can be derived from any of the events of the film .
it is merely a waste of time , money and talent .
answer:

N