Produced by Suzanne L Shell Charles Franksand the Online Distributed Proofreading TeamNOT GEORGE WASHINGTONAn Autobiographical Novelby P G Wodehouseand Herbert Westbrook1907CONTENTSPART ONE_Miss Margaret Goodwins Narrative_1  James Arrives2  James Sets Out3  A Harmless DeceptionPART TWO_James Orlebar Cloysters Narrative_1  The Invasion of Bohemia2  I Evacuate Bohemia3  The _Orb_4  Julian Eversleigh5  The Column6  New Years Eve7  I Meet Mr Thomas Blake8  I Meet the Rev John Hatton9  Julian Learns My Secret10 Tom Blake Again11 Julians Idea12 The First Ghost13 The Second Ghost14 The Third Ghost15 Eva Eversleigh16 I Tell Julian_Sidney Prices Narrative_17 A Ghostly Gathering18 One in the Eye19 In the Soup20 Norah Wins Home_Julian Eversleighs Narrative_21 The Transposition of Sentiment22 A Chat with James23 In a Hansom_Narrative Resumed by James Orlebar Cloyster_24 A Rift in the Clouds25 Briggs to the Rescue26 My TriumphPART ONE_Miss Margaret Goodwins Narrative_CHAPTER 1JAMES ARRIVESI am Margaret Goodwin A week from today I shall be Mrs James OrlebarCloysterIt is just three years since I first met James We made each othersacquaintance at halfpast seven on the morning of the 28th of July inthe middle of Fermain Bay about fifty yards from the shoreFermain Bay is in Guernsey My home had been with my mother for manyyears at St Martins in that island There we two lived our uneventfullives until fate brought one whom when first I set my eyes on him Iknew I lovedPerhaps it is indiscreet of me to write that down But what does itmatter It is for no ones reading but my own James my _fiancé_is _not_ peeping slyly over my shoulder as I write On thecontrary my door is locked and James is I believe in thesmokingroom of his hotel at St Peters PortAt that time it had become my habit to begin my day by rising beforebreakfast and taking a swim in Fermain Bay which lies across the roadin front of our cottage The practiceI have since abandoned itwasgood for the complexion and generally healthy I had kept it upmoreover because I had somehow cherished an unreasonable butpersistent presentiment that some day Somebody James as it turnedout would cross the pathway of my maiden existence I told myself thatI must be ready for him It would never do for him to arrive and findno one to meet himOn the 28th of July I started off as usual I wore a short tweed skirtbrown stockingsmy ankles were and are gooda calico blouse and ared tamoshanter Ponto barked at my heels In one hand I carried myblue twill bathinggown In the other a miniature alpenstock The sunhad risen sufficiently to scatter the slight mist of the summermorning and a few flecked clouds were edged with a slender frame ofred goldLeisurely and with my presentiment strong upon me I descended thesteep cliffside to the cave on the left of the bay where guarded bythe faithful Ponto I was accustomed to disrobe and soon afterwards Icame out my dark hair over my shoulders and blue twill over a portionof the rest of me to climb out to the point of the projecting rocksso that I might dive gracefully and safely into the still blue waterI was a good swimmer I reached the ridge on the opposite side of thebay without fatigue not changing from a powerful breaststroke I thensat for a while at the waters edge to rest and to drink in thethrilling glory of what my heart persisted in telling me was themorning of my lifeAnd then I saw HimNot distinctly for he was rowing a dinghy in my direction andconsequently had his back to meIn the stress of my emotions and an aggravation of modesty I divedagain With an intensity like that of a captured conger I yearned to behidden by the water I could watch him as I swam for strictlyspeaking he was in my way though a little farther out to sea thanI intended to go As I drew near I noticed that he wore an odd garmentlike a dressinggown He had stopped rowingI turned upon my back for a moments rest and as I did so heard acry I resumed my former attitude and brushed the salt water from myeyesThe dinghy was wobbling unsteadily The dressinggown was in the bowsand he my seagod was in the water Only for a second I saw him Thenhe sankHow I blessed the muscular development of my armsI reached him as he came to the surfaceThats twice he remarked contemplatively as I seized him by theshouldersBe brave I said excitedly I can save youI should be most awfully obliged he saidDo exactly as I tell youI say he remonstrated youre not going to drag me along by theroots of my hair are youThe natural timidity of man is I find attractiveI helped him to the boat and he climbed in I trod water clingingwith one hand to the sternAllow me he said bending downNo thank you I repliedNot reallyThank you very much but I think I will stay where I amBut you may get cramp By the wayIm really frightfully obliged toyou for saving my lifeI mean a perfect strangerIm afraid itsquite spoiled your dipNot at all I said politely Did you get crampA twinge It was awfully kind of youNot at allThen there was a rather awkward silenceIs this your first visit to Guernsey I askedYes I arrived yesterday Its a delightful place Do you live hereYes that white cottage you can just see through the treesI suppose I couldnt give you a tow anywhereNo thank you very much I will swim backAnother constrained silenceAre you ever in London MissGoodwin Oh yes we generally go over in the winter MrCloyster Really How jolly Do you go to the theatre muchOh yes We saw nearly everything last time we were overThere was a third silence I saw a remark about the weather tremblingon his lip and as I was beginning to feel the chill of the water alittle I determined to put a temporary