Produced by Charles Franks and the Online DistributedProofreading Team HTML version by Al HainesHappy HawkinsbyRobert Alexander WasonTOMY OLD PALCONTENTS      I   THE DIAMOND DOT     II   CONVINCING A COOK    III   UNDER FIRE     IV   PROFESSIONAL DUTY      V   JUST MONODYA MAN     VI   THE RACE    VII   MENTAL TREATMENT FOR A BROKEN LEG   VIII   THE LETTER     IX   ADRIFT AGAIN      X   A WINTER AT SLOCUMS LUCK     XI   DRESS REFORM AT THE DIAMOND DOT    XII   THE LASSOO DUEL   XIII   BUSINESS IS BUSINESS    XIV   THE CHINESE QUESTION     XV   THE DIAMOND DOT AGAIN    XVI   THE HIGHER EDUCATION OF WOMAN   XVII   IN RETIREMENT  XVIII   CUPID    XIX   BARBIE MAKES A DISCOVERY     XX   RICHARD WHITTINGTON ARRIVES    XXI   HAPPY MAKES A DISCOVERY   XXII   A FRIENDLY GAME  XXIII   CAST STEEL   XXIV   FEMININE LOGIC    XXV   THE WAYS OF WOMANKIND   XXVI   A MODERN KNIGHTERRANT  XXVII   THE CREOLE BELLE XXVIII   THE DAY OF THE WEDDING   XXIX   THE FINAL RECKONING    XXX   THE AFTERGLOWCHAPTER ONETHE DIAMOND DOTI wasnt really a Westerner an thats why Im so different from mostof em Take your regular bonie fide Westerner an when he dies hedont turn to dust he turns to alkali but when it comes my turn tosettle Ill jest natchely become the good rich soil o the IndianacornbeltI was born in Indiana and I never left it till after I was ten yearsold Thats about the time boys generally start out to hunt Injuns butI kept on goin till I found minebut I didnt kill himnor him meneither as far as that goesI allus did have the misfortune o gettin hungry at the mostinconvenient times an after I d been gone about two weeks I gotquite powerful hungry so I natchely got a job waitin on a lunchcounter back in Omaha The third day I was there I was all alone in thefront room when in walked an Injun He was about eight feet high Ireckon and the fiercest Injun I ever see I took one look at him athen I dropped behind the counter and wiggled back to the kitchen wherethe boss was I gasped out that the Injuns was upon us an then I flewfor my firearmsWhen the boss discovered that the Injun and fourteen doughnuts almostnew had vanished he was some put out and after we had discussed thematter I acted on his advice and came farther West That businessexperience lasted me a good long while I dont like business an Idont blame any one who has to follow it for a livin for wantin tohave a vacation so he can get out where the air is fit to breatheJust imagine bein hived up day after day with nothin to see but wallsan nothin to do but customers You first got to be friendly with yourvisitors to make em feel at home an then you got to get as much oftheir money as you can in order to keep on bein friendly with em inorder to keep on gettin as much of their money as you canNow out in the open a feller dont have to be a hypocrite once Iworked a whole year for a man who hated me so he wouldnt speak to mebut I didnt care I liked the work and I did it an he raised my wagestwice an gave me a pony when I quitHe was the sourest tempered man I ever see but it was good trainin tolive with him a spell Lots of men has streaks of bein unbearable butthis man was the only one I ever met up with who was solid that wayand didnt have one single streak of bein likeable He was the onlyman I ever see who wouldnt talk to me I was a noticing sort of a kidan I saw mighty early that what wins the hearts o ninetynine men outof a hundred is listenin to em talk Thats why I dont talk muchmyself But you couldnt listen to old Spike Williams cause thewasnt no opportunityhe didnt even cussWe was snowed up for two weeks one time an I took a vow at Id makehim talk I tried every subject Id ever heard of but he didnt evengrunt Just when things was clearin off I sez to him usin mybiggest trump Spike sez I do you know what they say about youNo sez he but you know what I say about them an he went on withhis packinI thought for a while at the year Id spent with Spike Williams was atotal loss but jest the contrary It had kept me studyin an scheminan analysin until after that year had been stored away to season Idiscovered it was the best year Id ever put in an while I hadnt gotoverly well acquainted with Spike I had become mighty friendly withmyself and was surprised to find out how much the was to meDid you ever think of that You start out an a feller comes along anthrows an opinion around your off fore foot an you go down in a heapan that opinion holds you fast for some time When you start on againanother feller ropes you with a new opinion an the first thing youknow you are all cluttered up