Engineers with a sense of humor..... - Page 1
Forum section: electronics / general

author: Smokey
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 03:10:20 am
content: I work with some funny guys. Look what someone left in the helping hands on the rework bench today...Gives new meaning to "magic smoke"!(It's actually a little piece of paper towel. No one's failing their random testing today.)

author: SeanB
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 04:26:06 am
content: I once got tasked with helping the police unload the "sample" from the helicopter after they went out to burn a field. 5 tons as a sample, and the pilots had been very careful to stay upwind after the slashing and stacking and the subsequent dousing of Jet A1 and burning. Dead easy to spot from the air, especially now in the drought. Will be the only blue/green crop in an otherwise brown landscape.

author: agronaught
author_rank: Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 04:34:36 am
content: My fav was apparently on an engineer's checklist at a major airline...Pilot -- Evidence of oil leak on front wheel axleEngineer -- Evidence Removed...

author: T3sl4co1l
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 04:55:13 am
content: Funny... I haven't had to take a drug test in almost a decade.I suppose it varies by market segment though.Tim

author: Artlav
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 08:44:57 am
content: Quote from: SeanB on December 02, 2015, 04:26:06 amUh, could you elaborate what is the humour part (and what was this all about)?Quote from: T3sl4co1l on December 02, 2015, 04:55:13 amAnd country. Never even heard of drug tests around here, at best you need to answer "do you do drugs?" under a polygraph.

author: EEVblog
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 09:25:19 am
content: Quote from: Smokey on December 02, 2015, 03:10:20 amThe engineer screwed up. Everyone knows to pass the kouchie to the left hand side

author: Mechanical Menace
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 09:30:53 am
content: Quote from: EEVblog on December 02, 2015, 09:25:19 amIf we're sat around together my left leads to your right. It is in the righthandof the helping hands...

author: Zero999
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 09:39:00 am
content: Quote from: T3sl4co1l on December 02, 2015, 04:55:13 amIs drug testing common in the US?It's not common in the UK. I've never had a drug test before. When I was younger I worked in a supermarket which employed lots of students who'd regularly smoke a joint at the back of the car park. If they starting drug testing everyone, they'd have to fire most of their staff!

author: EEVblog
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 10:58:53 am
content: Quote from: Mechanical Menace on December 02, 2015, 09:30:53 amIt's a "helping hand" so it's clearly the one doing the passing.

author: crispy_tofu
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 11:11:02 am
content: Quote from: agronaught on December 02, 2015, 04:34:36 amAha! This one, right?

author: ciccio
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 02:33:32 pm
content: Quote from: Hero999 on December 02, 2015, 09:39:00 amIn Italy drug (and alcohol) test is (or should be) mandatory for every worker that is charged of a job that is dangerous for him and/or for others: truck drivers, forklift drivers, people working at more than two meters from the ground, people in charge of a dangerous plant, etc...There is medical examination once a year, and the doctor takes urine samples. If they are positive he/she must communicate to the Company that you are "unfit for the job" but must keep the reason secret. The Company must change your duties, giving you a different job (if available). I've seen this happen, and many times-The test is mandatory for recruits: the son of a friend has some drug problems, and when he got a job from a courier his test was positive.He had to wait for more than two months of abstinence before the doctor gave his "clearance".This is a part of the Work Health and Safety regulations, and I believe it's the same in the whole E.U.Best regards

author: gilbenl
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 03:42:54 pm
content: Drug tests are the norm in the US regardless of field or level of responsibility. Failure of a pre-employment screen typically disqualifies the applicant. Randoms vary by company, but are also fairly common. Failure generally results in termination. Occasionally, a company will allow the employee to undergo counseling or rehab before being terminated, but I'm not sure how common it is.I love the Italian approach--you get high? Okay, no biggie, we'll give you a different job.

author: SeanB
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 04:07:14 pm
content: Quote from: Artlav on December 02, 2015, 08:44:57 amMy somewhat unwilling helper ( at least initially) was ( and probably still is if alive) a "user " of said medicinal plant. Whinged all the way out to the chopper on the flight line in the hot sun, then suddenly changed his mind when the door was opened and the 5 ton truck backed up. He went out as a skinny guy in a blue coverall, and when he went back looked like the Michelin Man. Cops did not even blink at the change.He was very happy for about 3 months, pretty good stuff that. Took him around 40 minutes to empty the load, and took the rest of us a week to get the leaves out of the avionics bays. was still finding stray leaves months later all over the place.

author: retrolefty
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 04:14:56 pm
content: Quote from: T3sl4co1l on December 02, 2015, 04:55:13 am8 years sense my last 'random', retirement is a wonderful thing.

author: ciccio
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 04:42:24 pm
content: Quote from: gilbenl on December 02, 2015, 03:42:54 pmIn fact things are a little complicated: Italian law "officially" does not allow pre-hiring medical tests, in the sense that you cannot select applicants using medical or physical examinations before hiring them. Obviously if you need a porter you will not select a small, thin guy.... and you can use any parameter for your selection.So, according to the law, first you hire a guy that seem suitable for the job, then you call the doctor who make all the examinations required, according to the job function, then the doctors gives you a sealed envelope (which must stay sealed) with the results of the tests and a paper which says only: suitable or not suitable for the job.This not only for drugs or other addictions, but also for physical problems that do not allow to move heavy weights and similar.Let's say the guy has drug or alcohol problems: you cannot fire him for this reason (you "officially" do not know this) but you can put him in another function, and say: "go clean the factory's bathrooms", hoping he will resign, and not renew his contract after the initial period....For what I know, Companies take a lot of informations before the pre-hire interview, so a lot of problems are avoided.Best regards

author: GreyWoolfe
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 07:42:02 pm
content: When I was first hired, I did a drug test-hair not pee. My company has always had a policy of random testing and possible testing after an accident with our company vehicles. I've had a few accidents in 11 years, haven't been drug tested yet. We won't talk about personal auto insurance, however.

author: AF6LJ
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 07:51:26 pm
content: Quote from: retrolefty on December 02, 2015, 04:14:56 pmRetired in 94 never tested.

author: ajb
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 08:04:54 pm
content: I started here not long after the company moved to this building, and I unpacked a lot of boxes with labels like "orange kush" and "100 proof bourbon" that my predecessor had packed for the move. Sadly they mostly contained only electronic components. Maybe it was wishful thinking on his part?Quote from: gilbenl on December 02, 2015, 03:42:54 pmIt's not quite that bad here (I've never had one), but they're certainly not uncommon. Certain industries are required by law to test. Bigger companies are more likely to do blanket testing of applicants or continuous 'random' testing for liability reasons, but smaller companies often don't bother. Many temp agencies will screen as a matter of course because that theoretically looks good to their clients.Of course drug tests as they currently exist are bullshit in any case. The fact that someone might have smoked a joint last month (or last night, for that matter) gives zero information on their ability to do a job today, nor will the test tell you whether or not they're hungover to the point of impairment, so it's all a lot of ass-covering drug-war nonsense.

author: gilbenl
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2015, 08:10:35 pm
content: Quote from: ajb on December 02, 2015, 08:04:54 pm

author: miguelvp
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 03, 2015, 02:11:22 am
content: Quote from: gilbenl on December 02, 2015, 03:42:54 pmI've never been tested in any jobs I had and I'm past 50. But I do wish they actually did, because most stoners are usually hard to work with. "Au contraire" of popular thinking (easy going, mellow, etc), users are usually the angriest people when they are not using, and tend to be the moodiest people and loose control and composure easily.But not all, some are actually great to work with, maybe the angry ones would be more so if they didn't use but not sure.

author: retrolefty
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 03, 2015, 02:24:45 am
content: Quote from: gilbenl on December 02, 2015, 08:10:35 pmIn U.S. most started with various Federal Regulation, like D.O.T. regs for pipeline workers, Rail operators, etc. It slowly grew with time. I don't think it's so much a part of the drug-war but rather regulations and/or costly liability suits.I saw first hand over almost 30 years at a oil refinery where the safety culture did improve vastly over time once management found out that having a poor or even steady safety incident rate is very costly. Drug testing did act as an effective deterrent for causal drug use, not to zero, but declining steadily year to year. Many of us would grumble but we knew the program was working and few wished to risk their future employment on random test luck.Like I said I am enjoying be retired.

author: Mechanical Menace
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 03, 2015, 08:09:07 pm
content: Quote from: miguelvp on December 03, 2015, 02:11:22 amThere is a difference between heavy drinkers and alcoholics. Heavy drinkers may drink almost every day but alcoholicsneeda drink to even function. But most heavy drinkers don't count their consumption as heavy and alcoholics tend to think as themselves as at most heavy drinkers, even when they need a double to get out of bed. I'd say the same is true of stoners and people with a cannabis dependence. I'm definitely (in my own view) a stoner but wouldn't class myself amongst those you've had bad experiences with as I don't need a joint to function or be personable. I'll jump on the chance to have a smoke but don't wake and bake and can go without no problem. But most of my peers wouldn't class themselves as stoners even though they count those with serious problems as well beyond stoners.

author: timb
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 03, 2015, 10:09:28 pm
content: Quote from: Mechanical Menace on December 03, 2015, 08:09:07 pmPretty much this. There are a lot of people who self medicate with drugs and alcohol. Those are the ones who will be moody.I had a friend who smoked pot "because he didn't have health insurance and couldn't afford anti-depressants" which is clearly BS; if you can buy pot on the street you can afford a 30 day supply of generics.But I do agree most drug testing is pointless. Depending on your metabolism, pot can still be detected in your urine 30 to 45 days after your last use, yet it only affects you for a few hours, like alcohol. The effects of cocaine last less than an hour.This is why the police give sobriety tests, instead of making you pee in a cup. If you're drunk, stoned, nodding, tweaking or tripping you'll fail the test. The same reasoning should be applied to jobs where you need to be sober and in control of your faculties.The war on drugs is a huge sham. Why do we not learn from our mistakes? Prohibition clearly worked so well in the 20's...

author: cobbler
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: December 03, 2015, 10:17:00 pm
content: Quote from: Smokey on December 02, 2015, 03:10:20 amwhile (1==1){bogart();}

author: coppice
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 01:04:10 am
content: Quote from: Mechanical Menace on December 03, 2015, 08:09:07 pmSo, basically you are saying that a heavy drinker is an alcoholic with enough cash that they never need to go without a drink?

author: Smokey
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 02:32:58 am
content: Quote from: cobbler on December 03, 2015, 10:17:00 pmwinner!

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 03:07:59 am
content: I failed every drug test I was ever given .. No one would give me any freebies.

author: jh15
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 03:24:50 am
content: Drop your zipper for the Gipper. (Reagan).

author: Mechanical Menace
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 06:29:16 am
content: Quote from: coppice on December 04, 2015, 01:04:10 amNah, I'm saying if you don't need a drink to function you're not an alcoholic. Even if you say drink heavily most days after work but can happily go without a couple of weeks and only start again because you want to, not because the shakes won't go away if you don't, you're not an alcoholic even if you may have problems lol.That's sort of where I am with cannabis tbh. I smoke way too much, at least 4 times a week (after work, when I'm not going to drive anywhere*) for about 3/4ths of the year, but I don't turn into an arse when I haven't had one and can go months without no problem. I'm not going to make out I think it's good for me, doesn't cause any problems, or I shouldn't at least cut down if not knock it on the head completely. But I would strongly disagree with anyone who thinks I'm dependent on weed.*I do have certain rules though like I never smoke it on my own or before 7PM even if I'm not working.

author: timb
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 08:23:30 am
content: Quote from: Mechanical Menace on December 04, 2015, 06:29:16 amThe problem is, people with alcoholism/addiction issues delude themselves into thinking it's a choice and they can stop whenever they want. The reality is, they can't.Now, if you *can* actually abide by your rules and have no problem stopping, you're not dependent. I knew a lot of people like that: Either casual smokers who might smoke a joint their friend brought once or twice a year, and heavy smokers who grew out of it after college.Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people. So, word to the wise: Quit while you still can, go out and make something of your life. Pot isn't some evil drug that destroys people, but it does kill your ambition and make you complacent.

author: cobbler
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 08:47:40 am
content: Quote from: timb on December 04, 2015, 08:23:30 amSounds like your village is flooded with the brown frown.... Focus on taking a trip to California.

author: Smokey
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 09:11:19 am
content: Wow.. you guys got real. I was just posting a funny picture.

author: KJDS
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 12:02:17 pm
content: Quote from: Smokey on December 04, 2015, 09:11:19 amI've learnt that a lot of people on here don't have a sense of humour*.*wonders how long it will be before people start moaning that I've used the English spelling of humour

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 12:18:33 pm
content: Quote from: KJDS on December 04, 2015, 12:02:17 pmI do, I keep looking for electronic loads that arent expensive. you misspelled Humor too.

author: German_EE
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 02:52:23 pm
content: A few decades ago I sampled my first joint. I immediately threw up, then threw up again, then threw up a third and final time after which I decided that drugs were not for me.However............................Years later I was at a Tangerine Dream concert and the guy in front of me was smoking a joint, this would normally not be a problem however the theater air conditioning was blowing the smoke towards me. Suddenly it felt like my head had jumped 1m in the air, done a somersault then landed back on my neck. It was a very enjoyable concert O0These days though I am only addicted to fresh air and chocolate.So, an engineering joke. Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." "The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

author: Ian.M
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 03:32:09 pm
content: Quote from: German_EE on December 04, 2015, 02:52:23 pmTypical engineer's life optimisation strategy. Take brief gratification with high risk of immediate or future complications or take a usually reliable low running cost means of transport for zero initial cost. Yoou may have missed it, but engineer #2 did attempt a witticism. It would likely have gone differently if engineer #1 had recognised the woman from class. Female engineers become irresistible at the age of consent and remain that way until about thirty minutes after their clinical death. Longer if it's a warm day.

author: SeanB
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 06:47:01 pm
content: I do remember getting in a bombing computer with the following on the label as the fault..." First bomb fell on target".

author: KJDS
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 06:51:00 pm
content: Quote from: SeanB on December 04, 2015, 06:47:01 pmI worked as a contractor on one job, and as always had to sort out professional indemnity insurance. This involved much filling of forms, but I was sorting it out over the phone.The young insurance lass plowed through the usual endless list of questions then asked"If it goes wrong, could it kill someone?"Apparently my reply of "I hope so, it's what it's supposed to do" meant they wouldn't cover me

author: SeanB
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 04, 2015, 07:27:51 pm
content: Quote from: KJDS on December 04, 2015, 06:51:00 pmJust like GI Joe ( his nickname) and his inventory. 20 odd tons of HE and other fun stuff in a set of bunkers. Not recommended to smoke there or drop stuff carelessly, though the pallbearers would have it easy.