Understanding Engineers !?!?!?!? - Page 1
Forum section: electronics / general

author: bearman
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: May 25, 2011, 01:36:16 am
content: Understanding EngineersIs it possible to understand Engineers? They are strange, you know!Understanding Engineers #1Two engineering students were biking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice: The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."Understanding Engineers #2To the optimist, the glass is half-full. To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.Understanding Engineers #3A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said, "Here comes the greens-keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello George, What's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?" The greens-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything she can do for them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"Understanding Engineers #4What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers? Mechanical engineers build weapons. Civil engineers build targets.Understanding Engineers #5The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"Understanding Engineers #6Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"Understanding Engineers #7Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.Understanding Engineers #8An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn back into a beautiful princess and stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want." Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog - now that's cool."

author: sacherjj
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 25, 2011, 02:10:22 am
content: Quote from: bearman on May 25, 2011, 01:36:16 amAnd lately, electrical engineers make the weapons hit the target.

author: FreeThinker
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 27, 2011, 01:28:05 pm
content: Sorry but engineers are born not manufactured see here

author: Ferroto
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 27, 2011, 01:35:58 pm
content: Quote from: FreeThinker on May 27, 2011, 01:28:05 pmYour not an engineer until you have built a ham radio with components from a TV.

author: tekfan
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 27, 2011, 01:52:37 pm
content: Quote from: bearman on May 25, 2011, 01:36:16 amAccording to Dave, the water level is -6db.

author: scrat
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 27, 2011, 03:15:21 pm
content: Quote from: tekfan on May 27, 2011, 01:52:37 pm

author: sacherjj
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 27, 2011, 03:42:33 pm
content: Quote from: Ferroto on May 27, 2011, 01:35:58 pmBut I looked in my flat screen and there is hardly anything there to make a radio.

author: tekfan
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 27, 2011, 03:47:37 pm
content: Quote from: sacherjj on May 27, 2011, 03:42:33 pmMaybe you're an engineer if you still have a proper CRT TV.

author: Hypernova
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: May 27, 2011, 04:52:56 pm
content: Well, my LCD monitor is broke and I'm currently fixing it, what does that make me?

author: Leo Bodnar
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 27, 2011, 05:15:58 pm
content: Quote from: bearman on May 25, 2011, 01:36:16 amLOL. It would be really interesting to draw up a full product specification for the human body and try to design it from scratch using modern design process (as taught in universities!)

author: Excavatoree
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 27, 2011, 05:20:33 pm
content: Maybe I'm OK, then. First, I've fixed a few old LCD monitors that I got from the trash here at work.Second, I still have 1 old (1987 or so) CRT TV. I was working at the repair shop back around 1990, and the boss decided to have a "clean out" day. He gave the shop "stooge" a stack of tickets and said: "throw these units out." He got to the 19 inch CRT TV, and asked me "It's just got no vertical sweep, do you want this one?" I asked him to throw it under the bench and I got to it after work. It was just the vertical output transistor, and associated resistor. I've used that TV at home and in the bedroom after I got married for about . I did have to change out the electrolytic capacitors, and replace the crappy power switch.The wife wants me to throw it out, but I can't bring myself to do it.

author: sacherjj
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 27, 2011, 08:16:06 pm
content: I've been building all my radios with transistors. The main reason is we are trying to have kids. I'm not running any high power building anywhere near my kids. I only have 2 tubes left. A 26" HDTV tube and a 13" little TV. All the others were TOO DAMN HEAVY to keep.You move a 120 lb TV once. Twice if you really love it. After that. It goes. Now if better looking TVs were not under $400 and 90 lbs lighter, things might be different.

author: Trigger
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: May 27, 2011, 09:30:55 pm
content: Quote from: bearman on May 25, 2011, 01:36:16 amAnd in the Navy if it ain't broke fix it on a regular schedule until it is

author: vk6zgo
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 28, 2011, 09:27:50 am
content: Why is it that Engineers can build a spider web of components on their bench that works perfectly,but when they then design a nice PCB,& hand the@#$%^&#@#!! thing on to a Technician to build it up & make it look tidy,it doesn't work properly,& neither the Tech or the "Ginger Beer" can make it work without modifications?OK,such things as stray capacitance come into it,but it still shouldn't happen that consistently!I think Professional Engineers have dabbled in witchcraft to make the things work,but the spell wears off after a while.VK6ZGO

author: Neilm
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 28, 2011, 03:49:53 pm
content: Quote from: tekfan on May 27, 2011, 01:52:37 pmWater?? Dave is Australian - it'll be full of beer.Neil

author: tekfan
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 28, 2011, 04:08:04 pm
content: Quote from: Neilm on May 28, 2011, 03:49:53 pmLOLReference beer level

author: baljemmett
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: May 29, 2011, 12:13:54 am
content: Quote from: Neilm on May 28, 2011, 03:49:53 pmAh, but he's told us before that he's the clean living sort and doesn't drink

author: bearman
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: May 29, 2011, 03:55:08 am
content: Next time I am out for a mug of beer I will tell her to bring another one out to me when my first one is -6db or less.LOL