Stop. - Page 1
Forum section: electronics / general

author: technix
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 08:31:19 am
content: This discussion is closed.

author: AntiProtonBoy
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 08:52:52 am
content: Does your country have anonymous help lines? In Australia we have Beyondblue for that purpose.Perhaps go to a general practitioner and get a referral to a psychiatrist.

author: AntiProtonBoy
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 08:56:16 am
content: Give these guys a crack?http://www.lifeline-shanghai.com/

author: Faith
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 08:58:41 am
content: The best advice would honestly be to get specialist help from a doctor as soon as possible. Both myself and especially my partner have suffered both depression and anxiety and our only regret was that we both waited WAY too long before seeking professional help. There's only so much family and friends can do.Mental health should be taken with the same sense of urgency as you would if you had just gotten into a major car accident. The longer you wait, the worse off you'll be.Please be well and see a doctor. Take this advice from someone who's been there.<3 *hugs*~

author: VK3DRB
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 09:39:32 am
content: Why are you depressed?It is not uncommon for electronics people to be introverted and depressed.

author: technix
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 09:51:33 am
content: Quote from: VK3DRB on November 07, 2016, 09:39:32 amI cannot find a job (thanks to my school delaying my diploma for three months just because of the laziness of one instructor forcing me to miss the graduates hiring season) and my family is putting a lot of pressure on me for this. There is absolutely nowhere to vent for me.I am not exactly an Electronics people as my college degree is in computer science. Electronics is more or less a hobby but having some informal education from the single professor in my school that have a good grasp on both hardware and software helps.

author: technix
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 10:34:23 am
content: Repeat with my mom:QuoteOK then, might as well de-ass this world now.

author: nctnico
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 11:08:45 am
content: Quote from: technix on November 07, 2016, 10:34:23 amYour mom is wrong! If there where no people the world wouldn't work so everyone is important somehow. My own mother could also irritate the hell out of me by saying 'don't try things you can't do'. It still makes me angry after decades because it is so demeaning and utterly wrong!For now: just try to do one small thing everyday which makes you happy. Also make a list of things you can do to get a job. I don't believe there isn't anything out there. Perhaps you can start a computer/tablet/cellphone repair/configuration service. A simple advertisement in a local shop or newspaper (cheap) will draw in customers and that will lead to new opportunities.

author: technix
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 11:14:54 am
content: Quote from: nctnico on November 07, 2016, 11:08:45 amI can take over the business my mom is operating (yes she is a business owner and if she allows me to I can take over) and the business she is operating have the required licensing to develop, make and sell anything that is even remotely related to computers. So if I stay clear of the high power stuff I can legally sell any electronics (as computer hardware) or computer software, online or offline. For pretty much anything I can put a Wi-Fi chipset,a Bluetooth module or even a USB port in it and claim it being some kind of exotic computer peripheral and get around with the regulations.But I am not the kind of people that can face the clients properly as I am very introverted, shy and a bit antisocial. That is the main barrier why I did not take over the business already.

author: CJay
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 11:23:38 am
content: Quote from: nctnico on November 07, 2016, 11:08:45 amWhat nctnico said.Do one thing that makes you or even someone else happy, buy a stranger a coffee, smile at someone, say hello to the person who sells you your newspaper or whatever you buy, you might be surprised who you can cheer up a little and receive a smile back from with just a random smile.Gain a little worth from that simple act.That simple realisation that you're not alone in the world can go an awful long way.And seek help, you've already taken a significant step, you've realised it's a problem and have opened up to us. That might be enough, it might not but take another small step, speak to a professional about it, there are many services out there who are trained to listen and offer support, you don't have to give them your name or put anything on the record with them and it may even be a free telephone call.

author: Kilrah
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 11:49:20 am
content: I do the stuff I like, with little regard to what others think about it. If people are criticizing me for it I move away from them. If you like what you do you'll eventually do something people like and THEY will come to you for it, which even as an introvert is usually OK to handle as opposed to reaching out to them.Quote from: technix on November 07, 2016, 11:14:54 amMaybe start working on developing an online sales side of the business? That's MUCH easier to handle.

author: technix
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 11:58:33 am
content: Quote from: Kilrah on November 07, 2016, 11:49:20 amI do have an online store on Tindie:https://www.tindie.com/stores/maxtch/But it is not generating enough revenue for me. And I have no idea how to develop it.

author: nctnico
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 12:25:30 pm
content: A webshop is difficult. Don't worry about being introvert and anti-social. Those are common for technical people and most people know that so it is actually an advantage for working in a technical field. Being introvert and anti-social never held me back

author: Muttley Snickers
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 12:54:03 pm
content: Last night on television down here there was a UK documentary aired that I found truly inspirational, it was about people with various afflictions who through no fault of their own found it extremely difficult to gain meaningful employment and acceptance.The program was called Employable Me and below are a couple of short video extracts, certainly worth viewing the entire program if you have the time and although my own life currently sucks due to severe health issues I’ve had it pretty damn good for quite a few years so can’t complain really, keep your chin up because nobody else will.

author: EEVblog
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 12:59:32 pm
content: Quote from: VK3DRB on November 07, 2016, 09:39:32 amI don't know about depressed, I don't think I've ever been truly depressed, but introverted, yes, most certainly.I spend most of my childhood and teens with hardly any friends, and didn't really even socialise with my family. I just wanted to be alone, just me locked away in my backyard shed was a my life until maybe my early 20's.Are there any local hacker/maker spaces you can join and hang around with other like-minded people and work on cool projects?

author: EEVblog
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 01:03:46 pm
content: Quote from: technix on November 07, 2016, 11:14:54 amCongrats, you are one of us! All you need now is the secret handshakeSeriously, that's the majority of engineers and nerds out there.

author: technix
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 02:02:40 pm
content: Quote from: EEVblog on November 07, 2016, 12:59:32 pmThe maker scene in Shanghai isn't that well developed like in Shenzhen or Hangzhou. I am afraid that it is a bit difficult to find one suitable for me.

author: singapol
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 02:50:59 pm
content: For a locally educated chinese your english is unbelievably good .It's good you recognise you have a "problem" but it does not mean it is hopeless. I understand chinese mothers have great expectations of their child especially since your mother is a business person so I believe she expects you to be like her..a survivor despite all odds having to survive doing business she may be disappointed in you but in reality in her heart's of hearts you mean something to her. Since you are male your mother expect you to be man enough. There is no mention of father?Like the chinese saying "Ren pi ren, chi tsi ren." roughly translated it means if you compare with others you will frustrate or be angry with yourself. In a society where face matters I believe your mother is "anxious" for you.The only way is to make up your mind and set yourself some goals.At your young age you may be clueless about this but you have to face reality or life as it is relentless that's why your mother is worried. Look and appreciatefrom her perspective she means well.As chinese myself we are not affectionately demonstrative like hug and kiss or even say I love you mom.You may not know this but your mother is the most significant person in your life apart from your father.I can only say if you feel you need help just ask the big guy up there or creator or god or even your spiritual guide and angel.They will hear you cross my heart.You can get through this. Chia you!

author: madires
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 02:53:16 pm
content: Quote from: technix on November 07, 2016, 11:14:54 amAt the moment, but that will change. I bet there are others with similar interests in your area. Best starting point for finding friends and topics to talk about. What about sports? Or something like ham radio? The old men are mostly very nice and happily support young people.

author: rrinker
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 03:18:53 pm
content: As another member of the club, let me relate something that helped me. When it comes to technical talks, I have no real problem speaking in front of a bunch of people, but for anything else - forget it. I had a story about my Uncle that I wanted to relate during that time at his funeral, just family and friends, and I just couldn't make myself stand up and say it, and there's now at I could stand in front of a crowd and deliver some sort of speech.Senior year in college, we were all required to take a technical presentation class. I was, naturally, dreading this. However, my professor became downright combative with me, telling me my information was wrong (it wasn't - and even the rest of the class was telling him to shut up so I could finish). From that moment on, at least with a technical sort of thing, I can jump right in and explain things in front of people I just met 5 minutes ago. I'm no longer intimidated. Which is good, because I'm often called upon to explain my designs and defend my choices (computer network designs - despite being an EE by degree I almost immediately slipped into computer consulting). I know it's all a psychological thing, if I can do it for my line of work technical information, I can do it for anything, but that's not how it works inside my head. I'm also not good when the only audience is a camera - you will likely never see a YouTube video from me where I sit there on camera and explain something I've done.I'm also very self-conscious about talking to a device. Even when I am completely alone and no one is around to overhear me. I feel like an idiot talking to Siri or Cortana. And no way am I allowing Alexa in my home, I would never speak to it. Maybe that's my personal limit on technology and I'm just too old to adapt now (just turned 50).But, I've made it this far despite being painfully shy. I'd much rather curl up by myself with a book than go to a party. I still have only a small circle of friends, not hundreds or thousands that some people seem to have. Some of them are the same friends I've had since school, such as my best friend whom I met in 7th grade when we found that we had a mutual interest in electronics. Some things have happened over the past couple of years that have had me down, thinking about my age and how much time I might have left and all the things I still want to do, but I don't consider that really abnormal, and I certainly have not had any thoughts of harming myself over it. A long time ago though, I decided that I didn't really care much what others thought, I was just going to be me and if they didn't like it, they could take a hike. I'm certainly not perfect, I have plenty of flaws, but it's when others take your positive assets and try to treat them as faults that you need to walk away. Those sort of people are poison and no one needs that sort of thing in their life.

author: free_electron
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 03:21:29 pm
content: Quote from: nctnico on November 07, 2016, 11:08:45 amchicken-egg problem. you need to try it first to find out you can't do it .. and even then .. keep trying till you get it.

author: AntiProtonBoy
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 03:35:34 pm
content: Quote from: technix on November 07, 2016, 11:14:54 amSounds like you have social anxiety related symptoms? You should seriously consider seeing a pro about this and get them to help you dealing with the situation.As for facing clients, the good news is that the interaction will become routine. Most conversations you will have is going to be more or less similar and boring repetitive topics. You can learn common social interactions over time and it will become second nature to you. I am an introvert myself, but I face clients all the time in my line of work. Trust me, there is a pattern in dealing with them. And nerds like us are pretty good with figuring out patterns.

author: steve30
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 05:34:16 pm
content: Quote from: technix on November 07, 2016, 08:31:19 amWith difficulty.That answer is based on personal experience. I don't know what healthcare is like over there, but if you can pluck up the courage to see a doctor, it would probably be a worthwhile step. I've had anti depressant medication for several years now, and although my depression and anxiety don't seem to be 'cured', they are certainly a lot better.

author: calexanian
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 06:36:28 pm
content: I do not know how the process of moving from school to career works in your country, but as said by others the depression and alienation of not having a peer group is common. I myself have that problem due to where I live and my family situation prevents me from moving. I also have dealt with depression and turned to my doctor for help. He got me with a therapist to talk about my problems and they came up with a solution for me. You are going to have to find such a solution for yourself. Your problems are not rare. Many people have dealt with them and have them under control rather than their problems controlling them. As a person of science and technology you must look at your life as an engineering problem that must be solved within a set of parameters to achieve the results you want. Determine what you want to do, even if it is a very short term goal and begin working.

author: vodka
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 06:37:46 pm
content: Quote from: technix on November 07, 2016, 11:14:54 amI don't know the antisocial grade that you have. I don't know if the mine is worse . I have been almost 9 month without going out of home , like very far i went to throw the rubbish to other side of the street.The unique contact with humans are with my parents and my hermit brother. Actually , i was since 18 July without going out of home. That day i had a presencial job interview, the first on my life (after sending hundred CV) . I knew that probabilty i didn't achieve the job but , on other hand i can achieve information and experience on interview FACE -FACE. And like i predicted i didn't achieve the job because they had already choosen the candidates.

author: Ampera
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 06:59:16 pm
content: Depression and introversion is a touchy subject for myself.Depression I am not going to go into much, it's honestly (In my case) a paradox. My depression is caused by not being able to get rid of the cause, throwing me into a loop. It's my permanent problem to hopefully one day solve, preferably without hurting someone.Introversion is a wide subject, there is physical introversion and total introversion. Take for right now, your socializing on the internet with other people, some who share similar interests, that's not total introversion. Total introversion is when you don't talk to anybody at all and like being completely and totally alone. Me and my mother are both introverts by nature, which makes us interact more (As odd as that may seem), and I am often social on this forum, twitter, and on other places. I don't leave my house and meet other people much (There isn't much to do in smalbany), but I do on occasion, and I don't normally have a problem.I don't tend to work around introversion, I normally accept it, and I do not have problems interacting with people. I tend to have a better time with someone that comes from a similar section of the internet, but I can interact with people.Depression is often impossible to fix. Accepting it is often not possible, thus the reason why the depression is there in the first place, and solving it is not possible as in my case too. The best thing you can do is look at your options and pick the one that you think is the best. I can only speak from my own experience, and yours may vary.

author: GreyWoolfe
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 07:08:08 pm
content: <standing up> Hi, my name is Tom, and I am an introverted anti-social nerd. Not that many years ago, I went through a serious 4.5 year bout with depression. To this day, I still don't know why SWMBO didn't pack up and leave or how I managed to do my field service technician job and not get fired. She finally got through to me and I got professional help. I am still somewhat introverted and anti-social but am no longer depressed. I don't know that I am cured but I have it under control without medication.Seek professional help by whatever means necessary. You will not beat it on your own and family will only go so far. I don't know if you are religious in any way, but my church has a counselling center and that is where I got my help. I saw another mental health professional before that who really wasn't able to get through to me. You may fail in your first attempts to get help. Don't give up. Keep plugging at it until you get what you need. Also, try to surround yourself with people who will encourage and support you, not try to beat you down.

author: technix
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 07:31:04 pm
content: Quote from: blueskull on November 07, 2016, 07:08:37 pmI have higher salary expectations for companies in Minhang than in city center, as I have to rent an apartment in Minhang but my family apartment have all its mortgage long paid.

author: Zero999
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 09:42:31 pm
content: Quote from: AntiProtonBoy on November 07, 2016, 03:35:34 pmI agree. There is a difference between being introverted and having social anxiety. An extrovert may have social anxiety and will shy away from people, making them appear to be introverted.The difference is someone with social anxiety will fear approaching other and will worry about being judged by others, where as a confident introvert, may not go out of their way to talk to others but they won't worry about it.

author: Gyro
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2016, 10:44:33 pm
content: Maybe I can offer a little context from your mother's perspective....I have had a successful engineering career, now medically retired but financially comfortable. Both of my sons have attended university. My older son graduated with a lower grade than he hoped. He also graduated in the depth of a recession, everyone in his year has found it very difficult to find 'graduate level' employment and many did not succeed. My younger son graduated with a good engineering degree and was lucky enough to find immediate, well paid, employment as an engineer. My oldest son works in retail and has done since he graduated (it started as a vacation job), he is quite introverted but his job, dealing with customers everyday, helps and he is now married to a girl who he knew at senior school. They are happy, but money is tight. I have always had more ambition for him (employment wise).I have frequently 'gently' pressed my son to find something better, pointing out opportunities and ideas but based onmyambition for him. I did not realize until recently (via his wife and my wife) how much my comments were upsetting him. He is progressing in his job and looking for new opportunities, I now realize that I must let him do this in his own way and that I must not damage his confidence with my own ambitions.I realize that Chinese culture is probably different and the situation not identical, but I suggest that you sit down with your mother and talk seriously to her. Try to explain to her the effect of her comments on your confidence and emotional state. I suspect that she probably doesn't see this, and being a loving mother I hope that she will realize her error and become more supportive. You can only try. In the meantime maybe try to put yourself into a position where you are forced to meet and interact with strangers, possibly look for something temporary that can bridge the time until next year's graduate intake (wich can't be too far away). I'm sure a future employer will look favourably on your efforts. Hopefully you can find projects to keep your software skills sharp in the meantime too. Who knows what opprotunities might appear in the meantime and the best you can do is be as prepared as possible both in skills and coming across well in interviews.I hope that some of this rambling at least is helpful to you, if not, I appologise, I do not want to make things worse for you. As others have said, depression is something that must be taken seriously and you should seek help where available. My best wishes to you.

author: singapol
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 08, 2016, 05:20:55 am
content: Quote from: technix on November 07, 2016, 07:31:04 pmSorry I have to play devil's advocate here. Although I empathise with you but please don't hide behind the depression label and use that excuse to justify what you do, from my reading because your mother has a business means your life is better than most young people where their parents are salaried workers or farmers. You were not deprived of anything material. That said I think you are just an ungrateful ,unfilialson, spoilt to the hilt (maximum). You think that piece of toilet paper called university degree is the means toan end then you are WRONG! It only gets you to the door of some future/career.I also think you will not kill yourself because you are selfish ( they usually don't commit suicide).You do not appreciate what you have.Bill Gates of microsoft did not have a degree ( he left uni to start MS ). Mr. Ma of Alibaba was rejected by Harvard university and he suffered from depression too. Where are they now?I will tell my personal story so that others know I speak with real experience and authority if you can call it that of what's it's like to be in this condition. Technically I was a walking zombie. The term depression was not fashionable then in the 70s. It started when I was 15yrs. I was doing poorly in school my mother came to see my class teacher to find out what was going on with me, this demoralised me. I failed that year and had to repeat so I was a year behind. Completed secondary school with good enough results to enter polytechnic in mechanical engineering, not my first choice and subsequently failed badly to be unable to repeat the course. Father had retired so I did not want to put extra financial burden so I entered a trade school and graduated with a certificate in metal machining.Sat on my butt since then until my older brother threaten to kick me out of the house if I did not find a job ( he was practicing tough love) Although I had worked at 16 waiting for my secondary school results it was only when I started formal work as an apprentice by then I was 28. Less than 3 years later the 1st. recession hit and I was laid off, in fact the american mnc company had finished it's 5 year tax free holiday that they decided it's time to "move on".Sat another 10 yrs. and worked as a wharehouse assistant and took night classes to learn electronics did not even have a full certificate. I left my company and was subsequently recalled to work as a tech when they started a small telco equipment factory. Stayed on about 3 more years and left for personal reasons.(you know what..) I have been unemployed all in all for over 30 years. In chinese..cher yang jiu kuo ler e cern or Like that I have lived this life to this time.I finally WOKE UP at the ripe old age of 52 when a carthartic event occured.I saw the light, this is what is going to happen when one does not do anything because you are in depression it's like a dream state. I had a health crisis..it was called detached retina of the eye (some will say oh it's normal when you are old.) But the thought of going blind did the trick. Heaven had to resort to this way to wake me up. By then at 52 it's technically GAME OVER where life is concerned. I am now 60 so what's left but to live as happily as I can (without job or money)of what time I have left but heaven have it's way.. I'm "taken care of".To technix, It's not about the end result ( pay/salary) of getting there but the experience along the way that's priceless. If you asked me would I choose the same again? Yes I would not have it any other way because I know how life works. No regrets..just thankful to be able to wake up and see the truth. My father used to say,"What can't be cured must be endured." My parents and I have endured.. my father in his last attempt even when he was old physically fought with me for one last time and my mother gave gentle hints about life. All this fell on deaf ears as you can see on me. Untill... the moral of the story is this as I remembered reading in Reader's Digest in giving life and love tips.. Winners MAKE life happen and losers LET life happen to them.Guess what I chose?As my friend of 30 yrs. once said to me..I asked for it. (I chose the hero's path.)I don't think you want to be a hero do you?They always end up DEAD.ALL the best.

author: AntiProtonBoy
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 08, 2016, 05:28:46 am
content: Quote from: Hero999 on November 07, 2016, 09:42:31 pmAnxiety is often an underlying cause for introversion, but you're absolutely right, the two can be mutually exclusive. The mind is a complex thing.

author: technix
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 08, 2016, 07:49:29 am
content: There just have to be someone seeing people as prototypes and be caustic. Should I be the prototypical Chinese kid speaking good English I wouldn't be here in the first place.I should have kept the discussions I brought up here strictly professional.Thread closed.