ADVICE REQUEST - will my passion for electronics disappear? - Page 1
Forum section: electronics / general

author: mcinque
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 20, 2022, 12:37:12 pm
content: I guess this can be too OT, if yes, I ask you to forgive me and if it's needed, just close this thread.I have always been a nerd, obsessed with electronics, computers and telecommunications.when I was a child I had my own "laboratory" to play at being an inventor, probably like most of you.during adolescence I have always pursued this passion. a nerd. so much that this nerdiness has kept me away from relationships with women. I've never been a playboy: the classic good guy (who finishes last).once I grew up, I found a job other than electronics, but I continued to cultivate my passion: once I got home I always continued with my nerdiness.despite this "not being a playboy" (I was always in my cave tinkering), I found a woman who loves me and with whom I have lived together for 20 years.a few years ago, I managed to turn my nerdiness into my main job and I quit my old job.now I do what I've always wanted to do. I feel fulfilled in my work. and despite my full-time job, I've always continued, once home, to work in my cave.today I'm 50 years old and recently something has changed in my mind. this has been going on for about 3 months. I come home and I don't feel like tinkering anymore.I think about other things, relationships, women. It's as if my mind has awakened from something: I feel like I've thrown away my adolescence, that I've missed all the part of partying with friends, of picking up women.I could miss my whole home lab now and it wouldn't be a problem (a few years ago I would have gone crazy over something like that!).I've started to change: I go to the gym, I use perfume, I've revamped my wardrobe...I start teasing around with every actractive woman I meet. It's just not me anymore.I would like some advice from you: has this happened to you before? Is this something that resolves itself? It seems a midlife crisis.Tell me this is not the prelude to abandon my cave, my electronic instruments and and/or my woman...

author: armandine2
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 20, 2022, 05:33:44 pm
content: OTT - so whatyou could have a medical - to be safeyou do meet people though who make big changes in their life - consciously. Reject long standing work patterns. Not sure it is very common for people to change much their personal time and ways - unless through hobbies, I guess.

author: PaulAm
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 20, 2022, 05:54:34 pm
content: Classic midlife crisis. You are fully in control of what you do and where you go with your llfe. If you're happy with your relationship, ask yourself if you want to risk destroying it? It's all up to you, some things you can't undo.Had a long time friend go through one. Divorced his wife (with 1 kid), married one of his students, got a wierdo religion and two more kids. Continues to work at a dead end university job and looked like a refuge from a homeless shelter the last time I saw him. He's no longer a friend. He won't be able to afford to retire until he's in his eighties, if he lives that long. Don't be that guy.

author: free_electron
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 20, 2022, 06:26:28 pm
content: turning hobby into work is potential danger....that being said there are other factors.i find myself drifting away more and more and i don't mind. i got a fulfilling job and the urge to tinker has shifted from electronics to home improvement. My wife and i bought a second home during the covid mess and we have been camping out here for the last two years,workign from home and away from the big city. i got half an acre of land and i'm more busy building a new kitchen , putting in new doors , redo the airco and electrics, plant trees and all kinds of veggies and be outside. if i decide to tinker with something its doing some small stuff for the house ( home automation , sprinkler controller etc ).I was diagnosed with Afib last november and this has seriously hacked in to me mentally. I had so many plans to go diving the great barrier reef, french polynesia, fiji, palau and many other places. Dreams vaporised. No way back. Diving is an impossibility now due to the risk of gas bubbles forming arterial / pulmonary embolisms. Covid has stolen not only two years of my life it has stolen the ability to travel. I cannot see myself sitting on an airplane for 10+ hours with a diaper across my mouth.So i shifted to cultivating all kinds of fruit trees, berries, grapes and setting up a backyard that can emulate a 5 star resort. barbeque island, firepit, seating area , pool . the whole shebang. i'll vacation home, far away from all the covid , mouthmask denying , antivaxx assholes.So there could be all kinds of reasons you are drifting away from the urge to tinker. Interests change over time.

author: mcinque
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 20, 2022, 06:31:46 pm
content: Quote from: PaulAm on March 20, 2022, 05:54:34 pmYes, I think about it constantly.The "problem" seems started few months I began working with young and cute women about half of my age.I started noticing them and my mind is changed. I've always worked with men or on my own before.it would be a reassuring thing to know that it has happened to others and that their passion for electronics has returned after a few months

author: cdev
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 20, 2022, 11:53:15 pm
content: My passion for electronics took a detour through computing that I'm still on, but I never lost that passion,just realized how broad and deep it is.....Just make sure you are honest and open with your current partner who is it sounds like a real find if she appreciates your geek side..I think you only need to look nit very far to see all sorts of new creative alternatives.. It is a very long time since I was bored or lacking electronics projects to play with. And learn.I am very interested in radio and want to get my ham license, but the thing that puts me off is the sad and heartbreaking situation of many who I hear on the airwaves. I met some of them when I was a little kid, playing around with CB, now its 50 years later (I moved away from the area I live in today and spent half of my life 2500 miles away) I returned to where I had started, after having had a lot of experiences I never would have had here.. I am certain that making that move was the best thing I could have done. Ive been exposed to powerful tools and now I see that the future is a bright one.Thanks to things like FOSS, which I was exposed to elsewhere, not here, my life has changed a lot. A couple of years ago I got a cheap logic analyzer and my possibilities opened up dramatically.. wow..Already online via SLIP and various text mode programs, running on Unix, I was ready for the changes, although I didnt know that. Some friends who I knew from going out were scanninjg rave flyers and putting them online.. I knew that they were able to display graphics, but couldnt see them on my Mac.. the Internet connection didnt have the capability to carry TCP-ip. So I used text, via programs like screen. A local ISP started offering access to The Internet but nobody I knew had that kind of connection. It was around 1991 when I saw XMosaic running on a Sun machine in a museum (Exploratorium) in San Francisco and fell in love with hypertext..Even then I knew that I was looking at the next world changing technology..I downloaded "A beginners Guide to HTML" by TimBL . I got my slow Internet connection (56k) TCP-ip capable by using a Mac extension that allowed it. This wasnt that easy. Lots of people were getting online but only at a beginning level. All my friends were struggling to begin to swim in this new ocean.. But it happened.. At the beginning it wasnt about e-commerce, in fact, it was frowned upon. The first few years of the online world were a noncommercial time.. In retrospect, lots of the activity around buying and selling was shameless hype and bullshit. At the beginning I with my rudimentary Unix knowledge was way ahead of the flood of new people who got online in he early 90s. They were whelrs and dealers and scammers, largely.. Wild eyed types who wanted to con technical types into doing their work for free. I steered clear of them but I wasnt above taking advantage of being taken out for dinner by them. It was the era of the Internet "boom" but few of the people flooding into the online world were as smart as they were trying to seem.I hit the ground running and a wealth of new ideas started presenting themselves.. it was amazing how rapidly new ideas started breaking forward.. But few of them were actually that original. Businesses were attracting these people like flies.. Many had started out in multimedia, but multimedia nomatter how magical it was seemed flat and limited in a comparison with the rapidly growing net.The cheerleaders for globalization insist the changes that are coming are all good, but they arent. Its no longer the positive world it was then, there are too many who are just trying to get rich quick. They reek entitlement.. but they dont have the willingness to do positive things to create the ecosystem that will build positive value and especially community and trust.Because people are struggling, and many are trying to keep people in the dark.This is leading to a real disaster for many. But we can do so much better and break out of the rut. But it wont happen without our work to have good outcomes. We need to support public education! Not all can afford private schools.. and privatized everything. The future is not privatization of everything as some would have us think.I have to realize that I was very lucky and had an opportunity to see how things could work, in an ideal world.. How creative the world can be..I might easily have just stayed in my rut and I was fairly poor, I lived in poverty.. Everything was very expensive then too, tool wise, too expensive for me. I was lucky because I got in to a new fild where everything was new, right in its infancy.. I saw my opportunity and ran with it. No matter how smart young people are, the gates are closed to many of them because of "costly screens" that keep people back. They not only cant get ahead, what they do have will be taken from them because they are not just standing still, they are going backwards.. Even the people who think themselves as fairly prepared for the future will find themselves suddenly struggling as a great many jobs inn he developed countries jobs are integrated into international supply chains. People have no idea how companies are planning to meet the competitive challenges they are seeing. Without the tax base that comes from employment, countries will be facing huge challenges. Where will the money to maintain the infrastructure of the past come from? There is no instruction book. But the system we grew up with, the system that kept everything running, is being dismantled because of its expense.Please dont get me wrong, the future is bright, but its important to meet this challenge with your skills. Headon. I was lucky.So many people never have anything like that opportunity I had. So they stay in a rut. These guys sound as if theirs have not. they are now old guys with major health problems. Its so sad. There is so much to life..Whats the point of life without evolution, without fun? All these things are not necessarily incompatible. Just dont be unrealistic about things. Technology is supposed to wipe out a huge number of jobs over the next few years. People are going to need to have skills to take the new jobs, to replace the old ones that are going to vanish. Studies I have seen estimate that we'll (here in the US) lose from 26% to more than 45% of our jobs within the next few years,without any improvements in technology. This will happen just because of improvements in communications technology and deregulation of red tape that inhibits trade and digital trade across borders. Almost half of our jobs may vanish, gone, poof. Soon, And many of those those will be professional jobs too.So, get ready.. Find something you like and do it.. because people find it impossible to devote sustained efforts at the required level, to become truly world class unless they like what they are doing. That said, doors open when you are expressing your best self..Maybe something will present itself. Just try to make your time productive. Dont sit around doing things that dont support your goals.

author: CatalinaWOW
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 21, 2022, 01:46:08 am
content: After seven decades I have found my interest in electronics has waxed and waned over time. It has never gone away completely.As prior posters have mentioned, think long and hard about huge life changes. The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I have had several friends and acquaintances dump a long term wife or companion. I only know of one for whom it turned out well. The other outcomes have ranged from meh down to outright horrible. So think about all the things that brought you to this woman. You have known all along about her flaws and until recently they weren't a big issue. Remember that she has accepted yours. If after much deep reflection the change seems worthwhile you may choose to proceed, but don't make any hasty decisions.

author: PaulAm
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 21, 2022, 02:01:22 am
content: QuoteYes, this can be a problem. I taught college courses with many cute young women. They were students (or coworkers, or enter your choice), I did not flirt . That was a red line. My former friend did not observe that line. That's a choice you have to make, one way or the other. consequences will follow from your decision.Check out the lyrics to the Johnny Cash song "I walk the line", it's about that type of situation.Most jobs last a few years; you'll probably reinvent yourself a number of times over your career (although it gets harder over 50), your hobbies and interests may change but a good relationship can last your lifetime

author: mcinque
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 21, 2022, 07:28:40 am
content: Quote from: PaulAm on March 21, 2022, 02:01:22 amthat's the problem. I feel the NEED to do it, a great need.The excitement that flirting gives me is something I've never sought in my life (In fact, I often tried to avoid it), but now I seek it almost every moment.It's terrible that before my mind could "calm down"by simply thinking about electronics (even just my workbench), whereas now I just think about teasing cute women.Thinking about my electronic instruments and workbench (my passion since childhood) has always brought me back down to earth, given me something to really live for, and now that it's not working that way anymore, it's worrisome for me, especially since it's happened in such a short amount of time.

author: SilverSolder
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 21, 2022, 12:05:07 pm
content: Quote from: mcinque on March 20, 2022, 12:37:12 pmWelcome to the world of being human, which you may have suppressed for a long time.Just don't be evil or intentionally hurt anyone, and you'll be fine...

author: Capernicus
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 21, 2022, 12:15:46 pm
content: I'm like the exact opposite, I like being wierd, it me feel more like a rare beast.And life is bloody embaressing anyway, and u have to accept these kinds of people, and they make good friends.If your into technology, did u get your big thing u always wanted? Otherwise I think you left too early and gave up!!!

author: 2N3055
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 21, 2022, 12:51:00 pm
content: Quote from: mcinque on March 21, 2022, 07:28:40 amI'm 50 something and will tell you what I say to my friends, many of whom tell the similar story.I will be blunt, because there is not nice way to say this:Stop being and idiot. Behave appropriate to your age. If you have good woman hold on to her with both hands. They are rare.You cannot make up for the lost time. What you didn't do when you were young is gone.Young woman that smile back at you when you flirt with them are just being polite. You're nice to them and they return kindness. Don't read into it something else because there isn't anything else there. You're an old farth to them as am I or any guy over some 35....Today in politically correct world, they call it "mid life crisis". It is more like "mid life stupidity"...If this "virtual slap on the face" didn't do wake you up, go see a therapist.Maybe you have depression. That is a serious health problem and needs action.I don't know. Talk to an actual professional in that field.Any way, remember you are NOT a teenager and stop behaving as one...Don't screw up good life because you're bored.Or if you have actual problem with depression (it is actually very common) go talk to a therapist. As soon as possible. Sooner you react, easier it and faster is to resolve problems.Be well and sorry for being blunt.I mean well.

author: mcinque
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 21, 2022, 01:36:16 pm
content: Quote from: 2N3055 on March 21, 2022, 12:51:00 pma +40yo colleague of mine regularly "hooks up" with 24yo. I am not saying that will be the same for me, butthe problem is the attitude/mindset. if you insist, you will find someone, perhaps someone with similar age to yours, but you will find someone. I would love to go back to my "cocoon" where I used to saturate everything with my toys/workbench.

author: mcinque
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 21, 2022, 01:58:08 pm
content: Quote from: 2N3055 on March 21, 2022, 12:51:00 pma +40yo colleague of mine regularly "hooks up" with 24yo. I am not saying that will be the same for me, butthe problem is the attitude/mindset. if you insist, you will find someone, perhaps someone with similar age to yours, but you will find someone. I would love to go back to my "cocoon" where I used to saturate everything with my toys/workbench.QuoteRationally, yes, absolutely, it's the right thing.But when it comes to emotions, rationality doesn't seem to work: you can know it's the right thing to do but still, not have the slightest desire to do it. And doing something unwillingly, when it comes to people, doesn't seem to be the right thing...

author: Bud
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 21, 2022, 03:40:51 pm
content: Keep your toys and workbench, you will need them when your last blast of testosterone will wear out.

author: jmelson
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 21, 2022, 05:16:20 pm
content: If you have spent a lot of time,effort and money developing skills and setting up a lab, it would be a shame to abandon it all. As others said, typical midlife crisis, that's what we call it in the US. Get out in the fresh air, do something else for a while, and you may get your enthusiasm back.I am much the same, but never really did the midlife crisis thing, still married to the same woman, and still picking at electronic projects at work and at home.I'm now 71, still working, and that is getting close to burning me out. I have WAY more than a typical home lab/shop. I am on my second pick and place machine (saga has been reported in the manufacturing topic), a big lathe and CNC mill.Jon

author: RJSV
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 02:13:48 am
content: Sounds like...a lot of familiar things, but I'm reading a big repeated; Asking for 'permission', to Goof-Off, blow some steam, Spring Break, even...So, the reckless things, NO...You don't wanna 'Hot Chick / Fast Car...Break out the BOOZE...Some of that, recreation is OK, but, safety first, you have 'adult' judgement, or seems at least, intent.Keeping something like alcohol use in check, and touching bases with a (real) licensed therapy pro, is gonna be extra cool head.Reply from cdev was good, although unusually wordy, was worth the time.

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 03:10:45 am
content: I'd like to point out that 50 is now what used to be 40. Buy the sports car. Get it out of your system. Don't buy a motor bike if you're 50 and never owned one, that's silly.Enjoy your 50's. Get some loud t-shirts. Go nuts!Oh, and schedule a colonoscopy.

author: Kasper
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 04:06:51 am
content: As the others say, I'm no therapist and I think it makes sense to see one before taking big risks.Being attracted to women can be frustrating at times but I think it's worth it as long as you can enjoy the small things and make peace with the fact that you will never get everything you want.Have you tried sports or video games? Sometimes the cravings for new women can be fullfilled by other types of excitment or new experiences.Seems perfectly reasonable that you are seeking new experiences. 40 hours a week of electronics is enough for me.As exciting as your friend's stories sound, keep in mind it is common for men to wildly exagurrate stories like that and it is rare for them to share stories of loneliness and desperation. Ontop of that, your friend may be conflicted by wanting a wing man. You may be viewing a very skewed sample of that kind of life.Before making big changes, try some small changes. Try hiking or jogging, rent ATVs, buy an off road vehical and take the wife off-roading, play tennis, whatever. Maybe you and your wife will both get into shape, find some fun sports, covid will end and you'll go to a few parties, get your fill of socializing and life will be great. Or maybe you'll end up single where having interesting and social hobbies and being in shape reduces the odds of a lonely and desperate end to your mid life crisis. Either way, I shudder at the thought of doing nothing but electronics and I think fresh air, exercise and excitment solve most problems.

author: Kasper
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 04:13:44 am
content: Quote from: Ed.Kloonk on March 22, 2022, 03:10:45 amI had a mid 20s crisis and bought a dirtbike. Almost lasted a whole week before I tried wheelying and ended up in the hospital. Kind of sucked losing function in my right arm for a while but learning to do things left handed did make life interesting.

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 04:52:09 am
content: Quote from: Kasper on March 22, 2022, 04:13:44 amThe ground seems to get harder as you get older.

author: Kasper
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 05:17:47 am
content: Quote from: Ed.Kloonk on March 22, 2022, 04:52:09 amYes it does seem that way and the injuries last longer. It felt pretty hard at the time though, I was used to falling on snow.

author: Dubbie
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 05:22:10 am
content: Seems like you are well on your way to becoming that creepy guy that all the young woman warn each other about.

author: penfold
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 08:59:53 am
content: Quote from: mcinque on March 20, 2022, 12:37:12 pmI'd really recommend speaking to a therapist/counselor, it sounds like a bit of a mind vs brain issue: it sounds like you don'twantto give up any of those things, but there's a bit of a brain-chemistry shift that's making you crave the more "exciting" side of life and that can happen for so many reasons at any age and it's not a pleasant thing to go through... speak to anybody with bipolar or ADHD if you want to know how easy it is to regret following those whims and fancies no matter how permanent or justified they feel.Maybe it'll pass or maybe it's a permanent change, but don't throw away anything that you'll never get back (time, 20-year long relationships, friends, test gear collections etc) without an absolute guarantee of its permanency.The rational interpretation is that going to the gym, flirting, wearing perfume, and revamping your wardrobe are all common sources of endorphins: directly from exercise or indirectly by getting noticed or complimented on positive changes. The human brain is very good at attributing those endorphin sources to specificthingsand making you believe that's what you want and making you feel depressed when you don't do those things or envious of others that do... but all it wants are those endorphins. There are only so many new outfits you can buy, only so dense a fog of cologne your colleagues can tolerate, and hours per week you can put towards chasing 24 year-olds or at the gym... if it's a permanent problem, find a permanent solution. Or at least, don't sacrifice anything for a temporary fix that'll only leave you craving your old life. Speak to a pro, they're good at that stuff.Take that with a pinch of salt, I'm just having my mid-30s crisis now, but I'm hoping the solution is going to be to settle down and grow my electronics lab a bit more... please don't prove me wrong!

author: mcinque
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 09:15:00 am
content: Quote from: Bud on March 21, 2022, 03:40:51 pmQuote from: jmelson on March 21, 2022, 05:16:20 pmtotally agreeQuote from: Kasper on March 22, 2022, 04:06:51 amI know that, unfortunatelyQuote from: Kasper on March 22, 2022, 04:06:51 amvideogames have been a big part of my 20's and 30's, especially online. they even made me temporarily lose some friends, so much so that I was dedicated. I tried to get back into them but the gaming community now is really toxic and overcompetitive, to the point that playing is no longer fun unless you have the attitude of a 7 year old kid. before we played on national servers, we knew almost everyone (we were always the same names, the online community before was not so great), we all spoke the same language and above all for the majority we respected each other: we played for fun above all. Now in any game you enter there are hordes of kids who shout into the microphone, use cheats of all kinds, go to humiliate those of lower level (trolling/smurfing) ... stuff that only kindergarteners do.I recently started playing sports again on solo.Quote from: Kasper on March 22, 2022, 04:06:51 amthis is very comforting to meQuote from: Kasper on March 22, 2022, 04:06:51 amOh yes, this is totally true. He himself has told me that the life he has chosen is not all it seems and he is the first to tell me not to do as he does.Quote from: Kasper on March 22, 2022, 04:06:51 amYes, I'm trying to do thatQuote from: Kasper on March 22, 2022, 04:06:51 amAgree. Thanks for your kind and deep message!Quote from: penfold on March 22, 2022, 08:59:53 am^THISI've repeatedly thought about this:you're right.What I'm looking for is is that euphoric feeling when I get a date with a young woman. Something I used to try with new electronic projects or computer things. Something that now I lost and probably I'm seeking in other things.

author: hans
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 09:41:09 am
content: I think every age group can have a crisis. I'm now in my 30s, hovering between various mental health states, and I'm basically contemplating the very same things as you have enumerated.. but with a different set of initial conditions.I was also always tinkering, always busy. I poured a lot of time in studies, and still am doing so with a PhD. Intellectually and work ethic is there to get it done. But the motivation has sunk lately.. partially because COVID, but also the realization that there is more to life than math, solder and code, but due to a range of reasons (or excuses) I'm not able to pick up new things to make that change.So a year ago I've pulled the plug, got on sick leave from my university, and went into full time therapy. To colleagues I tell I got a burnout. It's kinda like that.. but not a burnout from my work, it's more used as a (bad) coping style. It's really not hard for me to drop every therapy session and pour all my time into work again.That work thing can be kind of similar to a gaming, food or alcohol addiction. Both rely focus/defocus mechanisms as coping, instead of the horrifyingly in-between: a place of worry, anxiety, rumination, depression and sorts. Oh and there is probably some dopamine and other brain chemicals thrown in there as well..IME the interest for a hobby will grow back. I've had periods, especially during studies or therapy, where I didn't touch much code or solder iron for months. My last streak was almost a year. Sometimes I was just more into 3D printing instead. A little while ago I've moved to a new place, which has sparked new interest in home automation..If you haven't already.. if you have any worry about certain patterns or mental states.. go visit a therapist. In my experience it can take a bit effort of adjusting to, or finding the right one, but the conversations and depth to have with a therapist have gone far beyond what I've been able to do with friends or family.

author: RJSV
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 10:31:45 am
content: You folks are getting some good coverage, of particular points...but maybe (we) could use more women, for the different attitudes they can bring to discuss.On the purely exercise front, I've shown a couple times on blog here, is the 'Yoga' / mat stretches, I've developed / adapted. While, sure, I've kept in mind, the improvements in conditioning can improve dating confidence, I've also found great source for 'stimulating' imagination and creativity, in my field, which many of us (programmers) find in short supply.Doing the YOGA (loosely, informal) brings up many new (technical) subjects. I even tried writing a couple trial books, the creative 'juice' got so insistent!...Enclosed photo illustrates 'Half Lotus', featuring legs non-folded, there. That alone is an accomplishment of at least 3, 4 years (to get that flexible).So that covers some aspect of mid-life option for change. You got to be careful, as 'others' near can sometimes bristle, at your new found 'weight loss', and many other personal improvementBut...especially with the YOGA, for some reason.People feel 'slighted' some, when YOU get ahead...or trying to.You see that with more simple 'weight loss' efforts start, subtle sabatoge can occur. Now, how to handle THAT dynamic...(Marriage and Family therapist specialist probably can help w the dieting jeolosies that come up.)(Photo included)- Rick

author: penfold
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 11:23:07 am
content: Quote from: mcinque on March 22, 2022, 09:15:00 amLet's face it, electronics is quite an internal satisfaction, those small victories in debugging an EMC-problem or fixing a line of code don't generate much enthusiasm from others and more than likely just a "well its about time" response from managers. From the more technical side, maybe it's worth letting your electronics hobby side diverge from professional life a bit if it's all getting a bit mundane and safe... try RF or metrology... I suppose it's hardly a night of passion but moderately safer than sky-diving. Cycling is good also, strong community spirit, exercise, endorphins, good opportunities to travel and see the world for new routes if you don't ordinarily justify many holidays or breaks for yourself. Just spitballing suggestions, everyone's different.

author: cdev
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 02:26:56 pm
content: The word "poly" today meanspolyfidelity, or permanent pair bond relationships with more than one person.Maybe thats for you. Or maybe not, in any case, some people manage to do that and keep their first relationship well, others don't.A number of years ago a book came out for women who liked to maintain the freedom to date many entitled "The Ethical Slut". It was very successful and it seems to have sold well and now its gone into three editions, and spawned a discussion and movement of sorts. The word "slut" in this context isnt pejorative, its meant in a positive sense as somebody who stays true to their values but still expresses themselves sexually in any way that works for them.Read one discussion here.. The same issues apply to all genders. As somebody who was in an open relationship for many years during my 20s the crucial issue in retrospect was time management. At various times my SO and I had various agreements that worked for us at the time. One that it seems is popular with many is that sex with other people might occur while traveling or on vacation, but not at home. The idea is to do it with love.. At the time my SO was from a fairly well to do family that had her traveling a lot more than me. This wasn't as promiscuous as it sounds, as I am fairly nerdy and not at all the kind of person who others see as "hot" and never have been. (But I do like sex) Anyway, what I am trying to get at is that the only people you need to please are yourself and the people you choose to associate with. But you do have to be real and not sell yourself short. You deserve a good life, too. Nothing spices up an existing relationship more than new found honesty.If you are in a couple and your SO doesn't want sex then I don't think they have a right to demand abstinence from you! (if thats what they do) I think that attitudes about that are changing. What she probably does want is that you not embarrass her if you do see other people. Its essential however that you discuss this and have rules and obey them. Otherwise it could get ugly and you will have nobody to blame but yourself.I am not one of those people who live on the edge, at least not right now, but I appreciate them and the fact that they exist.If you're going to go down that path the most important thing is being true to yourself, your friends and your values..The one thing I envy them for is the communication skills they develop. They get right to the point in a way I struggle with. As far as sex goes a key issue the world is struggling with is consent for sex. I was lucky in that when I was fairly young I got away from the place I grew up where guys were constrained into a fairly macho role into a world where that was much less the case. And I connected up with a girlfriend who was very much ahead of her time in terms of her own sexuality but she also had a strong libido. I now realize that this was a good background because lots of things that many other guys struggle with I am fairly comfortable with. Let me give an example, many years ago I had a friend, Marc, who was a brilliant programmer and ham and he was a pioneer in the Internet world, so much so that he invented a whole virtual reality OS for collaboration. But he was incredibly shy in his social skills and this brought him to committing suicide. He was so tortured by his inability to connect that he killed himself.Maybe somebody here knew him, I wouldnt be surprised.At the time I had several good female friends who I introduced him to and he dated one for a time. But they didnt connect and she, a very down to earth lady tried to explain it to me, but I didn't engage as I should have and most importantly, didnt recognize how my friend was sinking into despair.I view this really as a failure in myself for not recognizing that he was in such a bad way and helping him more. He wasnt a bad guy, he was actually a very good friend. He was good looking, and in shape. He was a technical mentor to me, he wasn't violent or mean. He was just a geek. But his life was cut short by his loneliness which was just so sad.There are a lot of people who go through stuff like this and its getting worse. He was actually the second of two close friends I have had that committed suicide. The first one, Jeff was when I was in my teens and early 20s. He was a neighbor and a very smart guy, although this was before personal computing was part of my life I was into electronics at the time. What happened with Jeff I later realized was schizophrenia.Which is terrifying. I really don't want to tell the story but basically, I was his best and perhaps only close friend, I had gone away to a school which was far away, and was back for a short time. so we went on a trip into New York City (which is something we used to do all the time on the weekends) And unexpectedly, he just lost his mind. It was like something out of a movie. He was hallucinating!His family I dont think could handle the fact that he was in this situation.It was schizophrenia which often begins in puberty.Where I grew up and at that time, there were few groups of people or friends for people who were smart but in a nontraditional way. There still arent really although the Internet has definitely improved this a lot. We all need to be more accepting of others in every way we can. Also, quality medical care needs to be cheaper! My friend was at that age when families often struggle with communication.There is no rule book, we just have to be true to ourselves and our friends and families and even other species, animals and as Alex the parrot put it, in his last words to Irene Pepperberg, "be good".Electronics is great because it grounds us.. so to speak, at least it does for me, its a thing I can do which I can get deeply into, working with my hands and the physical world and its fun. People who are into it have a shared language all over the world, and in a way we are all speaking a shared language.. pushing the envelope of technology brings us joy and it brings all humanity very real gifts by solving problems.Quote from: mcinque on March 21, 2022, 07:28:40 am

author: Kasper
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 04:02:22 pm
content: Quote from: mcinque on March 22, 2022, 09:15:00 amToo bad putin can't figure that out. He could do things I can only dream of and yet he does not seem happy.Quote from: mcinque on March 22, 2022, 09:15:00 amGaming has changed, now you can make millions of dollars playing. You could play video games solo too or get into / run a clan that boots brats. In my clan I regularly kick people for bullying and we have a good group of adults all though it's a small group and most of us are rarely online but it's fun to catch up occasionally and meet people from around the world without having to travel. Either way it sounds like you've had your fill of electronics for the time being. My hobbies come and go and the longer I continue doing one despite my waning interest is the longer it takes before I'm interested in it again.Quote from: mcinque on March 22, 2022, 09:15:00 amThis kind of reminds me of the movie American Beauty. Kevin Spacey gets fed up at work, starts working out and flirting with his daughter's friend. It's depressing but there are glimpses of people digging out of their ruts and improving their lives.Quote from: mcinque on March 22, 2022, 09:15:00 amApproaching women gives me a similar feeling to approaching a cliff, jump or steep run snowboarding or a long straight-away or big hill dirtbiking. My addiction to that feeling has given me many injuries and I only regret some of them.I spent most my spare time in my 20s chasing that feeling: snowboarding, dirtbiking, FPS video games and a bit of dating. My end of 20s crisis turned me into a workaholic, I wanted to buy a house near the fun terrain and a better dirtbike. I sold my dirtbike, went back to school and started hiking for a cheaper, healthier activity. Ended up with an amazing wife, a better job and an addiction to home renos. My life is not as exciting now but more full-filling and I am much happier. Looking at cabinets I built feels even better than memories of that cliff I jumped off. For excitement now, I run down hills, play FPS games on my phone or do home renos as fast as I can for as many hours a week as I can. It's not the same as action sports, I miss them and I think I'll finally get back to them soon! Now I'm getting into my end of 30s crisis and thinking about selling one of 2 houses, quiting my job, starting a business, getting back into dirtbiking and snowboarding and maybe trying to convince my wife to have kids. Actually been considering making a thread about this so I should say thank you for giving me an example of how that might go.

author: cdev
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 22, 2022, 09:19:15 pm
content: Simply young and cute women who aren't smart are not that interesting, IMHO.Quote from: mcinque on March 20, 2022, 06:31:46 pm

author: Brumby
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 23, 2022, 12:04:37 am
content: I would just like to add one thing...As you look towards new excitements:1. Pause a moment and list each of the things you have right now - spouse, health, home, job, family relationships, friends, car, investments, savings, hobby bench, wine collection or whatever. Things that you have cared about.2. Against each, write down how you would feel if you lost that ... and add how you would feel if you could never regain it.3. Consider how your actions could result in some of those losses being realised.What you do at that point is up to you - but I have seen more than one case of men getting involved with other females that irreparably destroys long established relationships and when the shine fades on the new found fling, they find themselves lonely and regretful..... and that's not eventouchingon the impact such actions would have on the people around them that will be affected.

author: EEVblog
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 23, 2022, 04:20:23 am
content: I get people telling me all the time they don't watch my content any more because their interests in life have drifted.Happens to almost everyone. I'd go as far to say that if your interests don't change over the course of your life then there is likely something extremely, let's say, "unique" about you.

author: EEVblog
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 23, 2022, 04:28:40 am
content: Quote from: mcinque on March 20, 2022, 06:31:46 pmIf you are relying on your passion for electronics to return to save you from making a huge mistake (IMO) in your personal life, then my money would not be on that happening.Odds are lust will trump distraction by interest in a hobby. But then again I'm not a clinical psychologist like Jordan Peterson. That being said, you could do worse than listening to some of his stuff on the subject.

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 23, 2022, 04:34:28 am
content: Quote from: EEVblog on March 23, 2022, 04:20:23 amRemember that a large chunk find you for the same reason.

author: brabus
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 23, 2022, 07:19:43 am
content: You are not actually attracted to women. You are attracted to the idea of being attracted to them.This is why you haven't pushed the pedal to the metal yet: when facing a concrete opportunity to have an intercourse with a younger woman, you would escape it. That would mean the game is over: you don't want to actually reach the goal of having an affair.Men are wired to hunt and chase. When flirting, you get in "the zone", your dopamine level gets to the roof, but the game ends there.So, there is nothing wrong in accepting that, you hurt no one yet; you will certainly stop before something more serious happens. We should stop blaming ourselves and feel ashamed just because we have human feelings.Quoting the movie Four Rooms: "Ah mi raccomando, qualsiasi cosa succeda, tieni il cazzo nei pantaloni".Seriously: its great that you recognized this abrupt change in your life and that you want to discuss it. Seriously, this is great. The best advice here would be to seek professional advice. I can recommend some excellent certified AISPA specialists in Italy.

author: EEVblog
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 23, 2022, 09:16:24 am
content: Quote from: free_electron on March 20, 2022, 06:26:28 pmWhen I went to meet one of my childhood heros Colin Mitchell of Talking Electronic magazine fame, I was so sure I'd find him in his lab still sucking up solder fumes.But when I got to his house he wasn't there so I called him, and he said he's on a development site and will be there shortly. He then told me all about this foray into property development and that had been his focus for a long time.His lab didn't exist, the remains of it just existing in huge numbers of boxes throughout the house. He still answers emails and will post kits if an order comes in, but the Colin Mitchell I had imagined didn't really exist any more in practice.I came to realise that wasn't a bad thing.

author: mcinque
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: April 26, 2022, 08:03:34 pm
content: Quote from: brabus on March 23, 2022, 07:19:43 amI thought so too, but I have to disappoint you: I didn't run away.Not only looked for the goal, but I loved it.And I still don't feel much interest in my lab.

author: cdev
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 26, 2022, 11:29:16 pm
content: Taurine is good for Atrial fibrillation, Its currently unpatentable because its a natural substance, but they want to turn it and anything thats helpful to anybody in any way into expensive patented drugs, soon, in keeping with an IP deal they made, so get it while you can.Quote from: CatalinaWOW on March 21, 2022, 01:46:08 am

author: ebclr
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 26, 2022, 11:35:56 pm
content: Take a trip to Brazil and everything will be fine very fast

author: Psi
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 26, 2022, 11:42:40 pm
content: I do find as i get older the electronics i want to 'tinker' with narrows in focus.When you're young you want to play around with everything electronic and build things that really have no real use.As you get older you lose interest in that sort of general tinkering and instead want to work on making specific stuff.But It's easy to confuse that desire with 'working' because they're very similar.And once you confuse the two you start to see tinkering as 'work'.So you need to find some project that will produce something useful that you actually want for yourself, not to sell for money.Once you have that you will want to tinker on it again. The trick is finding that sort of thing.For me it is home automation. I want to sequence everything that goes on in the house and control it with code.

author: Zero999
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 27, 2022, 09:00:34 am
content: The original poster clearly has far greater problems, than losing his passion for electronics.It sounds like a classic example of falling in lust. If you've already done the deed and want to stay with your wife, don't tell her and don't do it again. If you want to get with the younger woman, then think about what you stand to lose.