pretty little blonde - Page 1
Forum section: electronics / general

author: spec
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 30, 2018, 04:39:45 pm
content: This made be laugh. (ref: page 200 of the classic book, 'Calculus made Easy' )https://www.cimat.mx/ciencia_para_jovenes/bachillerato/libros/[Thompson,Gardner]Calculus%20Made%20Easy(1998).pdfTwo professors, Dimitri and Benjamin, are in a café discussing the standard of math tuition. A pretty little blond waitress takes their order. Dimitri laments the low standard of math teaching in the US, and says that most college students know next to nothing about calculus. Benjamin disagrees.While Dimitri is in the men's room, Benjamin hatches a plot. He beckons the waitress and asks her if she would help in playing a joke on his friend. She agrees, so Benjamin gives her a $10 bill, and says, "When you bring the coffee to our table, I will ask you a question, and all I want you to do is to answer, 'One third X cubed.'" He says, "Can you remember that?" "One third X cubed...sure! I can remember that, especially for $10!"When Dimitri returns, they continue debating the standard of math tuition. Benjamin says to prove the point, I bet you $20 that our waitress knows calculus. Certain that he can't lose, Dimitri readily accepts. The two friends shake hands to seal the bet.When the waitress brings the coffee, Benjamin says, "Can I ask you a question?" She replies, "Sure! What is it?" He replies, "What is the integral of X squared?" "One third X cubed," she replies. Then, as she is walking away, she says over her shoulder, "Plus a constant."

author: T3sl4co1l
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 30, 2018, 04:52:30 pm
content: An oldie but a classic. Also the "take anything" -- bicycle one, or the mathematician, physicist and engineer one (heh, several of them), or...Reminds me also of the late 90s / early 2000s Britney Spears does math meme.Tim

author: spec
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 30, 2018, 05:03:22 pm
content: UPDATE 2018_12_01Not everyone may have heard those jokes that you mentioned, especially some of the younger members. Maybe think about posting them

author: T3sl4co1l
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 30, 2018, 10:07:10 pm
content: Following up after work...1.A pair of math students are talking after class. "Nice bike! Where'd you get it?" "Thanks! It's the strangest story. I was going across campus the other day, when, suddenly, a woman ride up on her bicycle. She gets off, strips naked and says, 'Take whatever you like!'" "That's crazy! Well, You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle." "Yeah, the clothes wouldn't have fit, anyway."2.An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are each placed in one side of a room. On the other side, a beautiful woman is standing. They are told that, at each time interval, they may move half of the remaining distance towards her.The mathematician concludes that, at iteration N, there will always be a remaining distance of 1/N times the width of the room, which will never equal zero. He gives up on the spot.The physicist complains that, if each iteration requires a finite amount of energy, then the energy expended in the approach will be inversely proportional to the distance remaining, and the full traversal will require infinite energy. he gives up on the spot.The engineer merely says, "I'll get close enough for practical purposes".3.A Physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are all locked in separate burning buildings.The Physicist runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, fills a bucket just large enough, dumps it on the fire, and survives.The engineer pulls out a calculator, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, runs and finds ten buckets each large enough, dumps them on the fire, and survives.The mathematician runs to a chalkboard, calculates exactly how much water he will need to put out the fire, declares "a solution exists!", and then burns to death.4.http://britneyspears.ac/lasers.htmDoesn't seem to be as I remembered it (primitive image memes), perhaps diluted over time and lost to the winds of change. But this site remains; enjoy.Tim

author: NiHaoMike
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 01, 2018, 02:28:27 am
content: On the topic of pretty girls and math...Pretty girls and electronics also go together well, I actually shown this video to friends in senior design class to explain why I was adding series resistors between 5V and 3.3V logic.

author: Richard Crowley
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 01, 2018, 03:02:39 am
content: https://youtu.be/6Lm9EHhbJAY

author: spec
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 01, 2018, 06:30:56 am
content: Quote from: Wan Huang Luo on November 30, 2018, 07:14:42 pmI now realized what how that soundsIt was written in a rush and was not intended. I will modify.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 03, 2018, 05:10:55 am
content: To be a good Electronics Engineer, you need all three skills.Electronics and Mathematics.

author: spec
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 04, 2018, 05:48:41 pm
content: In a recent survey 30% of men said they liked women with large thighs, 20% said they liked thin thighs, and the remaining 50% said they preferred something in between.

author: NiHaoMike
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 12:49:01 am
content: Quote from: spec on December 04, 2018, 05:48:41 pmSo basically three points on a bell curve? What else would you expect the distribution to look like...Quote from: MK14 on December 03, 2018, 05:10:55 amWhat's the third? Physics?

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 12:51:56 am
content: Quote from: NiHaoMike on December 05, 2018, 12:49:01 amThere are three kinds of people in this world.Those that can count, and those that can't.The above (joke), is what I meant.

author: fsr
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 02:45:17 am
content: There are 10 kinds of people in this world: those that know binary, and those who don't

author: tpowell1830
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 02:50:16 am
content: Quote from: fsr on December 05, 2018, 02:45:17 amIt also means that those who know binary can add 1 + 1...

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 03:04:19 am
content: Before University, I could not even spell Physicist.Now I is one.

author: IanB
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 03:30:21 am
content: Quote from: NiHaoMike on December 05, 2018, 12:49:01 amErr...whoosh?

author: CatalinaWOW
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 03:50:46 am
content: Quote from: IanB on December 05, 2018, 03:30:21 amDon't worry Ian, he took the bicycle.

author: CatalinaWOW
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 03:55:28 am
content: My favorite: An accountant, a doctor and an engineer all got to the men's room at the same time. The doctor went first, used the urinal and then washed his hands for two minutes before using his elbows to get out of the room. He announced to the other two. "In medical school we learned the importance of cleanliness.". The accountant then went, and washed after, using only a tiny bit of water and soap and the least possible towel. He self importantly told the engineer that in accounting school he learned to make every little bit count. The engineer finished his business and rushed out muttering "In Engineering school we learned not to pee on our hands."

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 04:14:50 am
content: Research unfortunately discovered, that only 25% of Engineers, knew how percentages work.Fortunately, I understand them perfectly, so I'm not one of the other 975%.

author: Brumby
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 04:25:27 am
content: Quote from: IanB on December 05, 2018, 03:30:21 amApparently so ... and high enough that they would have missed it if they were flying a U2.

author: NiHaoMike
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 06:02:40 am
content: For those who like pretty girls having some fun, this video will blow your mind:

author: spec
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 07:36:25 am
content: >>

author: Brumby
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 07:41:21 am
content: Ah - that's the model with the short-form front panel.

author: Wan Huang Luo
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 10:19:59 pm
content: Quote from: NiHaoMike on December 05, 2018, 06:02:40 amjust stop please.

author: mtdoc
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2018, 10:32:25 pm
content: Quote from: T3sl4co1l on November 30, 2018, 10:07:10 pmVery good.2. and 3. follow the same form as some medical specialty jokes...

author: CatalinaWOW
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 06, 2018, 12:26:16 am
content: Have you ever noticed how jokes recycle, often not improving over time.Here is one example. I like the original, but the "developed" version tries a little too hard.

author: hamster_nz
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 06, 2018, 01:48:09 am
content: Quote from: NiHaoMike on December 05, 2018, 12:49:01 am

author: Synthtech
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: December 06, 2018, 10:33:21 am
content: A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He spots a man down below and lowers the balloon to shout: “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend I would meet him half an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”The man below says: “Yes. You are in a hot air balloon, hovering approximately 30 feet above this field. You are between 40 and 42 degrees N. latitude, and between 58 and 60 degrees W. longitude.”“You must be an engineer” says the balloonist.“I am” replies the man. “How did you know.”“Well” says the balloonist, “everything you have told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost.”The man below says “You must be a manager.”“I am” replies the balloonist, “but how did you know?”“Well”, says the man, “you don’t know where you are, or where you are going. You have made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problems. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault.”

author: T3sl4co1l
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 06, 2018, 11:16:29 am
content: Quote from: CatalinaWOW on December 06, 2018, 12:26:16 amNoticed that when selecting the ones I copied... they required significant editing. The references didn't look particularly new either (if probably not 90s classic age).Tim

author: CatalinaWOW
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 06, 2018, 03:02:22 pm
content: I know first hand that most of these jokes far predate the nineties. Can't say how old they really are.

author: BradC
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 06, 2018, 04:23:04 pm
content: Quote from: CatalinaWOW on December 06, 2018, 03:02:22 pmMost of them were probably found when someone tripped over the stone tablet.

author: Ice-Tea
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 06, 2018, 04:45:47 pm
content: So, John walks the street and he encounters a dude he went to school with 20 years ago."Hey Jim! How have you been! What have you been up to?""Well, I'm a professor in applied logic...""Well, that's awesome! But... what's applied logic?"Jim thinks for a bit and then says: "Do you have a fish?""Yeah!""So, you love animals!""I guess...""Women are animals...""I suppose.""So, you love women.""Sure.""So, you're not gay! See, that's logic!"John, mightily impressed, continues his stroll untill he ends up in his pub. He sits down at the counter and tells his buddy: "Hey, guess who I met today! Jim!""Cool! What's he up to these days"?"He's a professor in applied logic...""What now?""Well, let me give you an example... Do you have a fish?""No.""So, yeah, you're gay"