Ohm humor - Page 1
Forum section: electronics / general

author: T3sl4co1l
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 07, 2017, 04:29:23 pm
content: Spotted on SED:QuoteQuoteTim

author: rsjsouza
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 07, 2017, 04:48:18 pm
content: Ohm my God... I got a good laugh out of it. Thanks!

author: calexanian
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 07, 2017, 05:55:42 pm
content: Engineering dad joke?

author: Tomorokoshi
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 07, 2017, 09:15:33 pm
content: I don't get it.

author: Tomorokoshi
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 07, 2017, 09:19:26 pm
content: I gauss I'm lagging.

author: cheeseit
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: March 07, 2017, 09:25:07 pm
content: Quote from: Tomorokoshi on March 07, 2017, 09:15:33 pmWatt?

author: Tomorokoshi
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 07, 2017, 09:37:37 pm
content: My maxwell is a little light. I was expecting it to be more on the heaviside.

author: Ian.M
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 07, 2017, 09:59:23 pm
content: Electrical humour is almost invariably reVoltingly bad.

author: GreyWoolfe
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 07, 2017, 10:01:48 pm
content: Quote from: Ian.M on March 07, 2017, 09:59:23 pmAnd apparently not even Current.

author: Ian.M
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 07, 2017, 10:02:57 pm
content: Yes, it will face a lot of Resistance.

author: innkeeper
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 07, 2017, 10:33:16 pm
content: (original author unknown)by Eddy CurrentOne night when his charge was pretty high, Micro Farad decided to try and get a cute little joule to let him discharge. He picked up Millie Amp and took her for a ride on his megacycle. They rode across Wheatstone Bridge around by the sine wave and stopped in a magnetic field by a flowing current. Micro Farad, attracted by the characteristic curves of Millie, soon had his resistance at a minimum, and his field fully excited. He laid her on the ground potential, raised her frequency, lowered her capacitance, and pulled out his high voltage probe. He inserted it into her socket, connecting them in series, and began to short circuit her shunt. However, he forgot one basic rule: never flux without a weber!!Fully excited, Millie Amp said, "Mho, Mho, give me Mho !" With his tube operating at maximum peak and her coil vibrating from the current flow, she soon reached her breakdown voltage. The excess current flow had gotten her so hot that Micro Farad was rapidly discharged and drained of every electron.They fluxed all night, trying various connections and sockets until his bar magnet had lost all of its field strength. Afterwards, Millie Amp tried self induction, and damaged her solenoid. With his battery fully drained, Micro Farad was unable to excite his generator so they ended up reversing polarity and blowing each other's fuses.WATT A NIGHT ! ! !

author: T3sl4co1l
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 07, 2017, 10:47:29 pm
content: Was wondering how long until someone posted that

author: rrinker
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 08, 2017, 12:49:53 am
content: I so wish I could find the original that got handed out over 30 years ago when I was in college, having to deal with the sex life of a subroutine. You can find a version via Google but every one I find is nothing at all like the one my professor (yes) handed out in class all those years ago.There was also a Star Wars parody involving the staff at the computing center and the equipment.

author: xrunner
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 08, 2017, 01:01:57 am
content: This humor is shocking!

author: Ducttape
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: March 08, 2017, 01:30:42 am
content: I'm pretty sure that violations of Ohm's Law are under the jurisdiction of the Department of Ohmland Security.

author: xrunner
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 08, 2017, 01:40:58 am
content: Quote from: Ducttape on March 08, 2017, 01:30:42 amIt is Currently under their jurisdiction now, but the situation needs to be Rectified and moved the the department of Energy, but there is much Resistance to that as the proponents do not have the Power to do it!

author: T3sl4co1l
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 08, 2017, 03:37:20 am
content: Quote from: rrinker on March 08, 2017, 12:49:53 amSomething about a sign extend (SEX) instruction?Tim

author: Cerebus
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 08, 2017, 04:11:49 am
content: If you violate Ohm's Law, do they drain you of all your Siemens?

author: xrunner
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 08, 2017, 04:16:14 am
content: Quote from: Cerebus on March 08, 2017, 04:11:49 amPossibly; can you give me mho information?

author: Red Squirrel
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 08, 2017, 09:57:55 am
content: Q: Why were the transistors stripped of their medals at the olympics?A: Because they were doped.

author: rrinker
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 08, 2017, 01:51:42 pm
content: Quote from: T3sl4co1l on March 08, 2017, 03:37:20 amIt was very FORTRAN-centric (since that was what the class was).But - my first computer has the RCA CDP1802 CPU and it indeed has a SEX instruction (SEt X register which is the index for indirect operations - any of the 16 registers can be designated as the X register (or P - program counter). Alas the opcode is not 69. 69 is input from port 1.

author: Cubdriver
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: March 08, 2017, 08:34:48 pm
content: Saw this way back in high school - the Ten Commandments for Electronic Technicians:1) Beware the lightning that lurketh in the un-discharged capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most untechnician-like manner.2) Causeth thou the switch that supplieth large quantities of juice to be opened and thusly tagged, that thy days in this earthly vale of tears be long.3) Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth and upon which thou worketh are grounded and thusly tagged lest they raise thee and causeth thou to act as a radiator, too.4) Tarry not amongst those who engageth in intentional shocks, for surely they are non-believers and not long for this world.5) Take care that thou useth the proper method when thou takest the measure of a high tension circuit lest thou incinerate both thyself and thy meter.6) Take care that thou tampereth not with safety devices and interlocks, lest thee incureth the wrath of thy supervisor and bringeth the fury of the safety inspector upon thine head and shoulders.7) Workest thou not on energized equipment, for if thou dost, thy fellow workers will surely buy beers for thy widow, and console her in other ways.8 ) Service thou not equipment alone, for electrical cooking is a slothful process and thou wilst sizzle in thine own juices for an extended period until thy Maker sees fit to intercede and end thy misery.9) Trifle thou not with radioactive tubes and substances lest thou commence to glow like unto a lightning bug and thy wife have no further use for thee except thy wages.10) Thou shalt not make unauthorized modifications to equipment, but causeth thou to be recorded all field changes and authorized modifications made by thee lest thy successor tear his hair out and go slowly mad in his attempt to decide what manner of creature hath made a nest in the wiring of such equipment.

author: palindrom71
author_rank: Contributor
timestamp: April 27, 2017, 08:10:06 pm
content: Had to

author: Melt-O-Tronic
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: April 28, 2017, 04:58:26 am
content: Quote from: Tomorokoshi on March 07, 2017, 09:37:37 pmPardon my admittance, but I don't think it took much to coax that out of you.

author: Kalvin
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 28, 2017, 02:28:01 pm
content: Quote from: rrinker on March 08, 2017, 01:51:42 pmMy first computer was also RCA CDP1802-based Telmac 1800 - beautiful CPU architecture and easy to learn assembly. Assembly programming has been going downhill ever since.Edit: Fixed the idiom:https://www.waywordradio.org/going-downhill/

author: grifftech
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: April 28, 2017, 02:56:55 pm
content: Quote from: ynfo on April 28, 2017, 07:36:03 amhow did you do that?

author: alexanderbrevig
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: April 28, 2017, 03:21:52 pm
content: IC watt mu ditherHad no real micro/mu symbol here

author: GreyWoolfe
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: April 28, 2017, 06:52:29 pm
content: Quote from: ynfo on April 28, 2017, 07:36:03 amAll your resistance are belong to us.

author: T3sl4co1l
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 29, 2017, 03:39:54 am
content: Quote from: grifftech on April 28, 2017, 02:56:55 pmIt's a photoshop, a pretty old and not very good one at that.Tim