Ever been made fun of in school? What have you done about it? - Page 1
Forum section: electronics / general

author: NiHaoMike
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 01:52:26 am
content: At work, one of my coworkers mentioned about the time when he was made fun of in school (didn't catch the whole conversation), at which point I realized that I was not alone. Have any of you had that problem? Why is it that the engineers are often made fun of? Is it jealousy? Or is there something else at work?I had that sort of problem in high school. My fix was to refuse to help those who were not nice to me. One time, one of them asked for a pencil for a "scantron" test and I gave him a #3 pencil that I kept just for that purpose.

author: Fsck
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 02:17:21 am
content: Only ever had the average experience in primary school. From a principled perspective, hitting back is very wrong but it's an effective mechanism for defeating bullying.I made any bullying end completely in middle school when I flattened about 3/4th of the hockey team in football.apparently leveling people who are bigger than you sends a message.People really didn't try anything in high school, rumours spread and the fact I taught karate added to my street cred.I guess I didn't really have much of a problem.

author: westfw
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 02:32:04 am
content: Everybody gets made fun of. Geeks seem to do more of making it a topic of adult conversation. I got made fun of because I was smart ("Poindexter"), because I was small ("Wee Willy..."), and because I sucked at sports ("Faggot" (yeah, that's about what it meant back then.)) Then I found out that popular girls get made fun of for not having the right clothes/hairstyle, tall people get made fun of for being tall, jocks get made fun of for not being smart enough, and random other people get made fun of for random other things from their name to their appearance to some noted event somewhere in their distant past. Anything that will annoy them, generally. The more it annoys them, the better! Kids are cruel.) Ask any group of people whether they "enjoyed" their HS years, and a good 50% or more will claim that it was tantamount to Hell, for reasons you probably didn't even notice at the time.Get over it, live well and prosper. Stop worrying about the people who were cruel to you, and start repenting for the people YOU were cruel too... (At least, I remember some of those all too clearly...)

author: NiHaoMike
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 03:13:06 am
content: I should say that the problem is mostly gone in college and virtually non existent in the professional world - I guess they learn to play nice or get weeded out... So I basically don't have to worry much about it anymore. But I'm sure there are plenty of others who do have that problem...I remembered a long time ago on the Amp Hour about how someone dealt with a bully in electronics class by secretly installing a diode in the power strip on that bench, which would cause the transformer in the DUT to burn out and create a very confusing problem to debug... On a related note, in computer repair class, I had the idea to wrap a strand around the reset header to create a similarly confusing problem to debug, but I never had to do it. (Hey, at least my method does not destroy anything...)

author: Shock
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 04:17:31 am
content: I wasn't exactly picked on but I had a few fights as the underdog going in. Had to dodge a few tough encounters as well.Verbally it was back and forth, I never bullied anyone, was more an unknown entity to most.At at 15 or so when I started getting stronger it became riskier to try anything with me. Never had a problem since.If someone needs advice I would say play some sports in your break time.Take up some form of full contact sport at least a day a week after school.You find you have a lot more friends and that changes most of the school experience.Also it builds your confidence and you become more socially interactive.

author: rexxar
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 04:28:31 am
content: Honestly, I caught more flak from the principals than students in high school.For whatever reason, bullying attempts never really bothered me. I think that made me less of a target because I didn't really respond. There were a few people who managed to get under my skin, but I dealt with them by poking their insecurities with a very sharp stick. They didn't bother me for very longMy advice is just try not to let it bother you. In my case, the people who (tried) to bully me turned out to be complete failures as adults. What they think doesn't mean anything, usually they don't even think those things, they just want to say something to be mean. The way I see it, I'm better than them, why should I make the effort to care (or even hear) what they have to say?

author: smashedProton
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 04:51:43 am
content: In my experience people really leave me alone. People know and respect how well I exceed in math and science but they don't ever make any effort to bond at a social level. This makes it very difficult to try and get dates and things... However, I have had many problems of my counselor bullying me and others. She has refused me to take ap science courses that were offered to my grade level some years but not others due to budget reasons. I had to do research for the budget of the class to convince her that the 20 dollars of overflow money was worth putting me in the class. Anyway, lets just say that I got the maximum score on the final test with only the last semester of the course (she delayed transferring me in for some reason). She gives me what I want now.I have never been really beaten up by anyone except my older brother (he is a body builder). I am a black belt in taekwondo and sparred competetively.Quote from: Fsck on September 10, 2013, 02:17:21 amWhy? It is the logical response to their initiation of force. Not hitting back and getting your ass beat out of you, and forcing others not involved to care for you and assume your daily obligations is very selfish.

author: Fsck
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 05:22:05 am
content: Morally wrong. Also, in Canada, possibly legally wrong if you respond with a disproportional response.I vaguely remember being told that you can only proportionally response to a magnitude which will stop a continuation, anything after that is a crime.

author: sleemanj
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 05:25:17 am
content: I was bullied fairly relentlessly at high school, at least up until NZ 6th form or so (students age typically 16 for those playing along in their own schooling systems, or young Kiwis who don't know what the old Form system is) everything from just "good natured ribbing", to some special breed of asshole who decided it would be fun to see if he could get me to pass out from a headlock a few times.To be fair, I was (am) awkward inhibited nerd boiled down to it's most splendidly concentrated essence. My younger self even makes ME feel like punching me. You know the sort. Went to the library during lunch hours, actively avoided socialising, was too smarty pants for my own good, did "gate duty" once a week like an officious twit checking passes for students who were leaving for lunch, didn't know the names of 1/2 the people in my form class, when a flyer went around asking for interested students to play Croquet all eyes turned to me, a quintessential goody two shoes.I have no idea what happened to all the people I went to school with.

author: pickle9000
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 05:30:56 am
content: I guess I was a bully (apparently a very nice and polite one), not to other students but I certainly loved to screw teachers over. I'd correct their mistakes (in front of the class), have arguments in which I maintained my composure (and the teachers lost theirs), I'd skip classes do a review and ace the tests. Basically I was a total dickhead. I was also an A student (that was possible in the old days even if you skipped). That said I was still fairly intimidating when I entered the work force. When I started running my own business I learned to keep my mouth shut. What do you know I got more work.

author: Stonent
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 05:43:01 am
content: Easy...With a nice Chianti.

author: pickle9000
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 06:27:09 am
content: I suppose tearing apart little circuits when I was a kid was better than the alternative.

author: Rasz
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 06:42:12 am
content: I was bullied whole elementary school by one kid. Beating me was his way of elevating social status. It lasted about 4-5 years. Random kicks, punches, chokes, pushes. All "for teh lolz". Teachers knew about it, but treated it like my problem. "you two shouldnt fight" (like I was fighting??!?), "dont give him reasons" (?!?! should I stop breathing? or run away from home and stop going to school?) or "next time he tries something come to me" (kinda hard while you are lying under the desk while being kicked). Every time I went to the teacher they would talk to ME, but NEVER the bully! Now that I think about it I feel really angry, those people had no place in school taking care of the childrenMy mum wasnt better at handling it, her 'solution' was also to avoid the bully. My best friend started doing teakwondo, I even watched one practice, but my mum wouldnt let me do it because "something bad might happen" ... Even my mum contributed to me being a constant victim, lack of father figure didnt help either.Long story short: last year of elementary school (13-14 year old at the time) my bully decided its time to go all the way and announced in the morning to the whole group he will beat the shit out of me after classes. 6 hours of people laughing at me telling me they cant wait to see me bleed. I dont remember what did it, was it me being angry and having enough, or maybe my friend telling me fighting back is not a big deal, but something broke and I decided that was that. Classes ended and as soon as I went out the classroom door this idiot charges at me head first into my belly (I weighted ~35kg, he was ~55kg). I really dont know what happened, but I somehow caught him, held his head and started kicking it with my knee until he collapsed. It took maybe 10 seconds. I had blood all over my pants and sneakers, he had a broken nose. Not a single kid from my class said anything, everyone went his way in silence.Predictably all of a sudden I became the biggest thug of the school in eyes of all the teachers and principle, they suspended me immediately and debated expelling/ letting police handle the matter. Even after dealing with the bully I was victimized, but this time by the teachers. They all had amnesia, no one remembered me running to them crying for help for all those years. (my big lesson to never count on others to solve your problems)First thing I did next year after starting high school was signing up for gym and teakwondo - told my mum she can stuff it. At the beginning I couldnt even bench 40kg - my own body weight at the time (15yr old). But it wasnt gym or taekwondo that made me trouble free in high school, it was different attitude - I was no longer a victim, I knew its ok to fight back. It might sound like not much, but its visible in a stance, eye contact or even walk - people see victims from a mile, you can literally point people in the crowd and say him him and him, they are the weak ones.If you are getting bullied it is not because you are a geek/smart/different. It is because bullies sense that you are weak. They instinctively know you wont fight back, they arent interested in a fight. Your body is betraying you and sends signals that scream 'punch me in the face I will just cry in the corner'. It is the opposite of alpha male - people sense alpha males just from the way they carry themselves, their body language says it all. You dont need muscles, or martial arts - they do help off course, but not in a way most people think, they make you more confident and thats what counts the most.I suggest to start with body language literature (even lame PUA stuff).

author: ivaylo
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 07:25:22 am
content: This is one of the things I still don't get. Grew up in Eastern Europe, moved to the States in my 20s. Took me years to even comprehend all these movies how much people suffer in high school here. WTF? We had a blast. All of us. Did all the electronics I wanted, my friends too, no one got marginalized for being good at math or whatever. Even if someone weren't very popular with the girls or something still ended up drinking (yup, no Prohibition till 21) and doing stupid things with the "popular" kids. So it was that bad, huh?

author: Galenbo
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 07:43:30 am
content: Quote from: Rasz on September 10, 2013, 06:42:12 amI had this +- same expierience, except you waight difference was a 3-to-1 in my case.Same results. Don't count on that kind of people called "teachers"They are only there to get their money the easyest way.

author: Mechatrommer
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 10:31:49 am
content: oo that day, those soccer and basketball team, the majority tribe. for the unknown reason until today, i didnt know what i've done to him, one guy tried to hit me after the dorm lights are turned off, tommorow his face is full of handyplast, ironically i just reacted based cause and effect, not a single scratch out of me. i had several attempt like that before and after but not up to the point, lucky them! i guess the nerdy techinicial guy type are those who are low profile, they dont get much attention to the surrounding comminity, esp to the prominent majority one, thats why i believe the nerdy are open to bully. i feel happy now why those day i didnt wear fancy and glamourous clothing like them because Mr Albert kept wearing the same cloth everyday, i realized fashion is not my (or my kind) priority. otoh i kept bullying one of my juniour dorm mate because he kept pissing us off, just him, not the rest i'm not a bully personi only care with my things.

author: SLJ
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 11:15:57 am
content: I was bullied relentlessly in third and fourth grade by a big kid who lived at the end of the block. He constantly picked on and hit/pushed down every kid on the block who was smaller than he was. We use to try and find alternate routes to and from school just to try to avoid him. My parents went to school and his house many times to try to get him to quit but there was no stopping him. We finally moved out of state and I did not have to deal with him any more.After four years my dad announced we were moving back just a couple houses away from the old house. For a month I dreaded the move as I figured the bullying would just start up again. Day after day that was all I could think about.Moving day finally came and I'm standing on the sidewalk watching the movers unload the truck. At the end of the block I see him walking my way. I won't say terror spread through me but after a month of dreading the move it was more of a sick feeling that spread over me as the same old crap was about to start up again.But then I realized something. When he was just a couple of houses away I saw that after four years I had grown over two and a half feet and he hadn't grown an inch! My dread of living in hell again drained out of my body in mere seconds. He walked up to me and said " Hi my name's ..." . That's all he got out before my fist made contact with his nose. As I knocked him to the ground I could hear my self saying "I know what your name is you little s%@x! Sitting on his butt on the sidewalk holding his bloody nose he cried "What did you do that for?". Just then my dad came out the front door to see what the commotion was about.It seems that in four years my size and looks had changed but my dad being much older looked the exactly same. The kid took one look at him and then back at me and realized who I was. He let out a scream and ran home. My dad had to sit down on the steps he was laughing so hard. Later his parents showed up with him to complain to my parents. My dad told them to go pound salt and I warned that little punk it would happen again if he ever picked on anyone. He never bothered any of the kids on the street again.

author: jamesp15
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 05:25:05 pm
content: I was never physically bullied (fighting), it was the typical name calling and such. (probably helps that I was rather large/muscular as a child)I just ignored them and it never really got to me.I helped people who were nice to me when they needed help with things, but kept to myself usually.Made a few really good friends, and also found out quickly who were the users.Now I see many of those same people who were "bullies" and most of them seem to be working menial jobs and some barely getting by.I help some of them now when I can, by teaching their kids about electronics/computers/etc.Overall I think my experiences made me a stronger person in the end. And yes, teachers/administrators were useless in this regard. I try to help the kids I teach deal with it, but nowadays with schools (at least around here) taking more notice of bullying there is more ways for them to reach out than when I was a kid in the same schools.

author: Rigby
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 05:45:19 pm
content: I was extremely poor growing up, and I think everyone that picked on people at all picked on me. CONSTANT name calling, bullying, shoving, tripping, "kick me" signs, the whole lot.I was not picked on because I was a nerd, I was a nerd because I was picked on. Circuits and computers don't make fun of you, so I spent a great deal more time with them.

author: Hydrawerk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 05:48:44 pm
content: I was bullied byteachersat primary school (till 2001). Well, those teachers were tall and heavy. Worse than children. Well, also some classmates attacked me at the primary school, but it was not a problem. I was taller than they and I used a PET bottle to defeat them. Well, these PET bottles with water are as useful as baseball bats. But no school will ever ban PET bottles.Then quite no problem. My current university is OK.

author: Rigby
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 10, 2013, 06:27:33 pm
content: Yeah, I had a few teachers join in, too, but in High School. My 2nd grade teacher used to hit me on my left hand so hard it bled, because I'm a lefty and that's the devil's hand. I'm not so old that this was common. I peed on her grave when she died.In High School many teachers joined in the hazing. I'm nearly 40 now and i'm just now starting to get over all that stuff. I should sue for therapy treatment cost. I've probably spent $50k out of pocket to become somewhat of a normal individual.Anyway, enough whinging. Hazing is very real and has very real long-lasting effects. Anyone that tells you different is ignorant and/or lying.

author: Seg
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: September 13, 2013, 09:28:33 pm
content: I was bullied a lot in middle school. (6-8th grade, MN USA) I was somewhere around 6'2" by that time. I have always towered over everyone else my age, this seemed to make me a target for scrawny little punks who made themselves feel big by bullying me, both physical and verbal. I was a good little Mormon boy who wasn't supposed to fight back, but they would escalate their violence until I popped, and when a big guy like me pops, they end up with bruises. That particular punk would leave me alone after that, but then one of their punk friends would take their place, as some kind of rite of passage to growing their first ball hair or whatever. Repeat until high school, which scrambled the student population, very few people from middle school followed me to high school, my reputation was reset, for whatever reason the physical violence ended, and for the most part I was just ignored.In retrospect, I should have dished out black eyes the first time anyone dared touch me. Turning the other cheek for so long just gave me a reputation as an easy punching bag. "Never start a fight; but always finish it." -- Captain John SheridanWhen fights did happen, the bully would collect together all their punk friends as witnesses, and one by one the principal would interview them and they would spin tales all about how I started it. Then I would get called in, tell him what happened, he'd call me a liar because obviously a gang of bullies would never get together and lie, and I would be suspended for a week. The principal quickly became fully convinced that *I* was the bully. I had no one on my side. Imagine the psychological damage to a good little Mormon boy, being treated like a criminal.I quickly started to enjoy my weeks off, I could stay home and read and hack in GFA Basic on my Atari ST all day long. No bullies. You call that punishment?Bullies bully because it makes them feel good. All you have to do is cause them to feel otherwise and I guarantee they will stop. Getting in a fight will hurt, but it's a lot less painful in the long run to just respond in their language once and get it over with. They are animals. Treat them as such.

author: IntegratedValve
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: September 13, 2013, 09:48:02 pm
content: "Ever been made fun of in school?"Yeah by professors for not doing my homework.

author: Rerouter
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 14, 2013, 12:28:03 am
content: Another on the bullied side, it was unpleasant through years 2-6 being the tall geek and there were times where i struck back but that mainly stopped at the beginning of high school, following that i focused more on disarming the aggressor, which proved more effective at making them back off (both physically through trips / pinning or diffusing with hard logic)I still have some vivid memories that i would rather not face, but learned strategic thinking and conflict resolution so i did come away with some positives, ( assessing the threat posed by the 6 people surrounding you and working out how to get out without a scratch is an interesting take on trial by fire)as far as name calling went, i received a large amount and i understand fully that it builds up and gets harder to ignore over time, and to that the more effective option i took were wearing out the one that hit the hardest, by focusing on ignoring just that one / poking holes in there idea, or finding what others call them and reaching a truce,

author: Rigby
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 14, 2013, 03:12:47 am
content: Quote from: AcHmed99 on September 13, 2013, 11:57:57 pmScience disagrees with you on this quite completely. It is not a matter of having thick skin, it is that being a victim as a child will turn you into a victimizer as an adult, or even as a child, and/or give you a pattern of behavior which will follow you whenever you are in a difficult situation later in live (once a victim, always a victim). Being bullied will, with very high likelihood, GIVE YOU "thin skin." Abuse physically changes parts of the brain that are active when coping with stress and conflict, thereby necessarily changing how you react to those situations.This is not a matter of opinion, by the way. This is fact, proven by empirical data, reinforced with behavioral science, and demonstrated daily to anyone that knows what to look for.

author: ddavidebor
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 14, 2013, 05:23:42 am
content: I was very fat at child age. They joke me for this.Now, i look chubby, but i'm 1.75mX115kg so nobody really joke me.They joke the relationshio between me and my horse because they're jealous.They're respect me for mine damn good tecnical skill. They also interest in my extra-school project if it's nott too complicated.Girls go to me because i'm not a dickhead and i've a horse they found cute.Teacher of tecnical subject pretty much love me.i'm pretty hapy now in my high school. :-)

author: EEVblog
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: September 14, 2013, 07:34:40 am
content: This is the high school I went to (really):You didn't learn, it was a case of daily survival.In this case the nerd was big enough to fight back, and had put up with the bullying long enough.In my case I was the 50kg soaking wet nerd and the bullies were huge.But I was simply smarter, quicker, and more aware with eyes in the back of my head, and was eventually able to avoid most encounters. But it meant you were always in constant fear. It took 4 years of convoluted alternate routes home to avoid after school trouble.You'd often cop a break when the real big bullies ended up in a juvenile detention center for a few months.

author: Rasz
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 14, 2013, 08:53:04 am
content: Quote from: EEVblog on September 14, 2013, 07:34:40 amWow, almost exactly my story. Even same m.o. with bully pretending to be a victim and almost everyone believing him!!! too bad for him there is video evidence.I have a strong suspicion this is how school shootouts happen in US - kids just break under bully trauma and lose the will to live, but instead of fighting back they decide to take everyone with them, everyone who stood by and did nothing while they were tormented.

author: Legit-Design
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 14, 2013, 11:13:16 am
content: Quote from: EEVblog on September 14, 2013, 07:34:40 amI thought you were kidding when you said on your video you got "beat up" for bringing a cool electronics project to school and showing it. But yeah bullies don't like kids who stand out.

author: EEVblog
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: September 14, 2013, 11:26:11 am
content: Quote from: Legit-Design on September 14, 2013, 11:13:16 amIt was magazines I bought to school. You try to sit in a quiet corner and read them, but in that school anyone seen reading anything in the playground is a magnet for the bullies.It wasn't just that, I got picked on for other things as well.

author: SeanB
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 14, 2013, 11:34:32 am
content: Makes my school seem like a picnic. At least there being a little bigger than the others and having the ability to ignore them helped. That and the library being open during breaks as well, along with the bullies being mostly illiterate. then again the headmaster was liberal in the use of the cane, but the only one you worried about was the one HOD who had the ability to give you 4 stokes and leave a single cane width line. He was barred from giving more than 4, as it was deemed to be cruel and inhuman punishment, more than 4 would be the headmaster, and he was often a little deep, and would miss, or you could convince him he had already done 6 with only 1. That, and I did not play Rugby......

author: Rigby
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 14, 2013, 12:59:24 pm
content: Quote from: AcHmed99 on September 14, 2013, 12:05:07 pmScience knows little about the inner workings of the brain; what individual neurons do, and how they work. Psychology is something that is VERY well understood, and very well proven.Quote from: AcHmed99 on September 14, 2013, 12:05:07 pmA study was released last year that followed tens of thousands individuals for 60 years. It agrees with me, not you.Quote from: AcHmed99 on September 14, 2013, 12:05:07 pmNo, it's because our understanding of just how destructive bullying can be has become more and more widespread.Quote from: AcHmed99 on September 14, 2013, 12:05:07 pmYour lack of understanding here is astounding. When one doesn't think too deeply about cause and effect, I can see why one would feel as you do, but the moment one applies logic or reasoning (or even does some small amount of research) the whole "we baby our children too much" theory flies directly out the window and dies.There is zero disagreement on this among people who know the topic. Zero. This is not pseudoscience, this is not guessing, this is provable, repeatable, and very easily explainable.

author: Mechatrommer
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 14, 2013, 01:39:01 pm
content: Quote from: AcHmed99 on September 14, 2013, 12:05:07 pmunderstanding it is of no good use if problems stilll cannot be solved. there are other things that come into play, on a larger scale, things like sociology (society), ethics and politics

author: TheWelly888
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 14, 2013, 04:10:08 pm
content: Yes I was bullied at boarding school and what made it worst was that I was stuck with them 24/7 during term time! I knew that if I hit back at them I would have gotten in trouble so I reacted tearfully too often. One useless teacher suggested in one report that I brought my problems on myself!Fortunately I learned not to get too bothered by the idiots (and some of the worst ones left prematurely despite the school being notoriously reluctant to expel anyone) and anyway nearly 30 years on, I know and care nothing about my old tormentors.At least my old school really taught me the meaning of the word "cynical" even if they did not get around to teaching me the word "cynical" before I left!

author: Hydrawerk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 14, 2013, 05:31:18 pm
content: Well, always fight back your retarded classmates and f*u*c*k teachers. Teachers are usually unable to do anything, they can only threaten for ages. They will hardly do anything.

author: Rory
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 14, 2013, 11:34:58 pm
content: The best way to cope with being bullied for me was to put it all behind and move on. It's been almost 40 years since high school, but I still keep in touch with a few friends from back then. About a week ago, in the obituaries in my hometown newspaper website, I saw that one of the worst bullies I had to deal with had died, his obituary was minimal. I mentioned this to an old friend and she, too thought he was a total buttwipe and the world would be glad to be rid of him.So, I guess for me, the best way to deal with those jerks is to outlive them!

author: Hydrawerk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 15, 2013, 12:48:15 am
content: Well, I didn'd meet any bully or other dickhead at my university. People over 18 are often quite mature and decent, especially at high school.

author: Fsck
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 15, 2013, 12:52:16 am
content: Quote from: Hydrawerk on September 15, 2013, 12:48:15 amUnless it's supervisor to grad students/phd candidates

author: steve30
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 15, 2013, 04:12:03 am
content: Can't say I had much bullying. Probably because I kept myself to myself.Some people went through a period of making fun of my interest in computers.A really annoying thing was younger students climbing up the toilet cubical wall to try and 'watch', but I'm sure that wasn't anything to do with me personally.

author: Dave
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 15, 2013, 02:18:13 pm
content: Quote from: steve30 on September 15, 2013, 04:12:03 amThe sole reason I HATED to go to the bathroom in kindergarten. Retarded inbred schoolmates trying to see my weiner.I can't say I've had too much trouble with bullies. There were some in elementary school, I got roughed up a couple of times, but nothing too drastic. Thankfully I have a older brother who got my back once or twice when I really needed it.There was one guy at the beginning of high school who would pick on me, but that didn't last long. I was in my second year of high school when I suddenly gained approx. 20cm of height (bringing my total to 191cm), and I've never been bullied since. I also learned not to back away when things got hot.I've had a moment of triumph last year. I was walking down a poorly lit street in the middle of a night and some guy was walking toward me. When we were about 20m apart, he suddenly crossed the street and continued walking on the opposite sidewalk. I felt like the king of the world when I realized that some dude actually crossed the street just to avoid passing me. It felt like the tables of the universe have turned.It is also very comforting to know that those few people who bothered me are now jobless, uneducated deadbeats without a future.

author: GK
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 15, 2013, 02:20:04 pm
content: Quote from: steve30 on September 15, 2013, 04:12:03 amThat must have been a nice English school. I read about those in Christopher Hitchen's autobiography,Hitch 22. That made me really, really glad that I didn't (a) grow up in England (b) attend a posh boys boarding school there.Incidentally, that was an abysmal, tediously boring autobiography. I really could not believe the amount of trivial BS and just plain GAK! he for some reason thought must make for interesting reading; wouldn't recommend it to anyone, even to those who genuinely find his other writings interesting or of merit. Oops - OT..... back to your scheduled programming now.............

author: Hydrawerk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 15, 2013, 09:46:24 pm
content: Well, I should say that i was always one of the tallest boys especially at elementary school. I was not too strong, but many bullies decided to beat small boys instead of me.The last fight (2006?) took place at my catholic grammar school.An acolyte classmate beated me for no reason in the corridor.I could not hit him because he was quite fast, but I managed to tear his necklace. The beads scattered on the floor. Then a teacher appeared and i thought "Oh, shit!" But the teacher told off the dickhead acolyte. She knew, that he was a chameleon-like SOB. Well, she was an atheist...And yes, the young acolyte had a necklace like this...

author: Rigby
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 16, 2013, 12:21:00 pm
content: Quote from: AcHmed99 on September 14, 2013, 01:26:16 pmI think you spend too little time thinking about things. You attempt to tell me that people who study psychology, practice psychology, and make advances in psychology all know less than you, then say that you don't even think about it much.My baggage is not bullying, by the way. I was bullied, yes, but that doesn't make it my baggage.Here's the thing, though. I think you're trying to say that adults are unaffected by their childhood, and that those who say they are are simply using it as an excuse. If that is what you are implying, then you are so beyond wrong that there isn't a word to describe it. If you beat the shit out of a puppy as it grows up, it's going to be a very mean adult dog. If you beat the shit out of a child as it grows up, it's going to be a very mean adult person. It is not coincidence that childhood abuse results in adulthood abusiveness.And no, psychologically, people are not snowflakes. We are not unique in this way. Personality? Yes, we're all unique. Reactions and coping mechanisms for abuse? We are not unique at all. Again, it's been proven over and over that how we respond to these things is very well defined, very well understood, and very easily treated if you take the time to do what is required.

author: Rigby
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 16, 2013, 05:31:46 pm
content: I agree with everything you said, pretty much.I am not stating myself clearly enough, I think. Psychology is proven. People are not snowflakes about their reactions to abuse. Yes, there are always outliers, yes, people ARE different in many ways. It is not always possible for someone to "get over it" and move on. Sometimes, it is possible, yes, sometimes it is not. Saying "get over it" does NOT work for those who can't get over it themselves. The level of abuse that one must endure to push them over the line where they can't deal with it themselves will differ from person to person. Everyone who gets pushed over their own line will react in extremely similar ways, though. You can ignore all the science and evidence if you like, but if you go volunteer or go to work in places where the less fortunate wind up, I think you'll find very, very quickly that the vast majority of them were abused as a child, past their "line" and can't deal with it alone. Distilled out, this abuse shows up as horrible decision making.Some people are indeed bullied enough to get pushed over their line. There is zero debate about this. The same amount of bullying won't necessarily push another person over their own line.Some people can "get over it" to a degree, but wind up with traits like a hair-trigger temper, somewhat severe depression of varying degrees, a history of very bad decisions, or they find relationships where they wind up abused again, or they find a relationship where they can become the abuser, and gain the control they never had as a child.Another part of the discussions is what does or does not constitute "abuse." The definition of this will vary from person to person, and I think this is where a lot of the argument comes from.

author: Alana
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 16, 2013, 10:01:45 pm
content: Started carying a crowbar in my backpack, when they noticed they stopped...

author: lemmegraphdat
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 17, 2013, 12:23:11 am
content: Name calling but nothing physical. One day I'd had enough and what did I do but punch the biggest guy in the class. No effect at all. What an idiot, I just lost it completely. I thought he would kill me. One punch and I was out. The name calling stopped. I got very lucky. They must have thought I was nuts. I think I probably was. We had this one idiot at a factory where I worked, a machine operator. He had this stupid habit of picking up somebody and airplane spinning them. He decided to do that to me and when he had me I grabbed his crotch and gave it all a good squeeze. Again I thought I was dead for sure. He just let it go. Lucky as hell.

author: c4757p
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 17, 2013, 12:28:59 am
content: Quote from: AcHmed99 on September 16, 2013, 04:21:24 pmWhat is this big problem people have with labeling? It's called being self-aware. "Human behavior" is a very complicated thing and it helps to have ways to talk about it in an educated way. Labeling behavior is a gateway to learning about it and being taught how to control it.We can just go about "being human" without ever stopping to think about what exactly that means. When that happens, we may as well sling shit like monkeys. Complicated self-awareness is one of the aspects of being a human.And this "give him a pill" crap is nonsense and a myth. It does happen sometimes, but it's not like we just drug every noisy kid. Have you actually seen a real elementary school classroom? Lots of noisy kids. Most of them, to be more exact. And perhaps one or two "have ADD".

author: envisionelec
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 17, 2013, 10:52:23 pm
content: Quote from: lemmegraphdat on September 17, 2013, 12:23:11 amStrange habit.

author: dcel
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: September 18, 2013, 08:16:06 am
content: Geek, nerd, or whatever, that was my label in school. Our junior and senior high schools were combined which made things worse.I finally had enough one day when one of the "punk ass slackers" decides he wants to put his feet up on the desk I am sitting at, trying his damnedest to get me to relocate by pulling a large buck knife out and threatening me with it, I moved no problem, right to the teachers desk during her lecture, informed her, and promptly took another seat a couple rows over. The teacher continues on with her grandstanding whilst passing off an unseen note to the teachers pet along with a pass to the office. Two minutes go by and the 450lbs asst. principal (disciplinarian), whom we called "Heavy Evey", the principal, the head coach, and the custodian, barge into the room with the express intent of disarming the offender and removing him from the school. Word got around real quick what had happened and the offenders partners in crimes tell me that I will go down for what I did to their friend. I made it very clear that they were next to be expelled and I was waiting for them to commit an offence that would rid me of um for good. Never had any more problems with that crowd again but it did not solve the rest of the hazing.Things changed for the better in 10th grade when I was accepted to the vocational school electronics program a year early. It was only supposed to be a two year program, but I got accepted for a third year helping teach the basics to the first year students, along with my advanced courses. Electronics, computers, and tutoring. Those were the good times!Whatever you think, who we are, as individuals, IS, the sum of our experiences and there is nothing that will change that.I'm 45 and I remember ALL the shit I went through during school and it will always be a part of who I am.Chris