Balancing Electronics with Significant Other Time - Page 1
Forum section: electronics / general

author: madshaman
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 13, 2013, 10:53:48 pm
content: This is partly tongue in cheek and partly serious.I've been fortunate to be single for a good time recently and my lab and projects were coming along fine. Then things changed..My current partner is *very* supportive of my lab, projects and tinkering but I do find I've been spending a lot less time getting down to business; by choice of course.Anyone care to share their experiences balancing domestic and romantic life with their hobby/passion? Before putting together my lab, my ex-fiancée used to silently boil with jealousy whenever I'd cover the livingroom with gear.Don't see anythjng remotely like this happening with my new partner, who's a bit more of an adult, but, being a guy, I can be oblivious..Horror stories and nightmares welcome ;-)

author: c4757p
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 13, 2013, 10:56:41 pm
content: I've got this under control - I'm so obsessed with electronics that any potential significant others either 1) are completely obsessed as well, or 2) won't touch me with a barge pole.

author: Fsck
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 13, 2013, 11:15:07 pm
content: option 3) build an electronic significant other

author: jmole
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: May 13, 2013, 11:27:57 pm
content: My advice? If you've got a strong hobby, find an SO with a strong hobby as well, and collaborate. S/he doesn't have to do electronics, but what about gardening? Build some soil hydrometers, or a solar powered watering system, or something. She likes music? Work together on some badass speakers.Not saying this is ALL you have to do, but if you can find a way to connect what you're doing back to her well being, s/he'll be all the more grateful.

author: kizzap
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: May 14, 2013, 03:04:41 am
content: Quote from: jmole on May 13, 2013, 11:27:57 pmMy wife likes knitting...all I can think of is LEDs in the needles. but that to me seems stupid.

author: babysitter
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 14, 2013, 05:12:14 am
content: Wife: Professional electronics technician, radio amateur, but only little interest in electronics as hobby atm... common project: See my screen name

author: Rick Law
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 14, 2013, 05:16:01 am
content: People should always come first, particularly a significant other.In the end, and the end comes whether we like it or not, we would likely look back at our life and think about our love ones. Few would think about their best essay, best photographs taken, best DMM owned, etc. Things are just that, things.

author: jmole
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: May 14, 2013, 05:43:21 am
content: Quote from: kizzap on May 14, 2013, 03:04:41 amCheck out Leah Buechley's work. Or Hannah Perner Wilson.Links here:http://www.plusea.at/?p=4203http://www.kobakant.at/DIY/

author: JuKu
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 14, 2013, 08:52:22 am
content: Your passion/hobby doesn't need to be connected to hers in any way. The important point is that you both understand and respect each other's passions.Besides, sleep is overrated.

author: Balaur
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: May 14, 2013, 09:01:48 am
content: Quote from: JuKu on May 14, 2013, 08:52:22 amThat's the spirit!Before, I was waking up late on weekends. Since living together, I sneak out of bed early for my hobbies. ~2 hours of solid work.(Plus, ladies need a bit more sleep on average.)

author: Unknown
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: May 14, 2013, 10:38:08 am
content: Quote from: Balaur on May 14, 2013, 09:01:48 amMonophasic sleep is for the part-timers! ;-) Dymaxion is where the party is at!

author: lgbeno
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 14, 2013, 12:59:28 pm
content: I usually work on my projects between 9pm when my wife and daughter go to sleep and 1am when I goto sleep. I probably average 4.5 hrs sleep per night...

author: N TYPE
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: May 14, 2013, 01:14:28 pm
content: Wife/partner is one thing, but when you have young children, you can forget about any remaining spare time you may have once had...

author: madshaman
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 14, 2013, 03:20:34 pm
content: Thanks, nice advice over all.I agree, people do come first, especially whoever you're with, but, I find things don't go well at all if either one ends up stopping doing what they enjoy.She's already been through some all-nighters I've had to pull for work; she even camped out with me in the computer room; I've been a little bit shy to stay in the lab until 4am working on my own projects; feel almost like I'd be taking advantage of her total patience and support..I think it has to do with personality and maturity too, some people can feel that because someone else has a passion or interest that somehow they're in competition with it.Her kind of work is more about travelling and working with people directly, but she'll be going back to school to finish her Master's next year, so hopefully I'll get a chance to support some all-nighters myself (or at least make a trade.Quote from: Balaur on May 14, 2013, 09:01:48 amLol, yeah, I do get some time by staying up late after she goes to sleep then coming to bed late. You *really* need someone who's good with that though. Getting up early's a possibility, but if she gets up first, the first thing she'll do is make coffee ;-)

author: kfitch42
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 14, 2013, 05:27:10 pm
content: All seriousness aside, perhaps there is a way to combine the two,http://www.embedded.com/electronics-blogs/break-points/4406810/Personal-astable-multivibrator-teardown

author: madshaman
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 14, 2013, 06:32:35 pm
content: Quote from: kfitch42 on May 14, 2013, 05:27:10 pmHey, I think you're on to something. Sadly, the first thoughts that entered my head were: "I can improve the design", but that leads to a whole area of weird I think I'll save for another life ^^'

author: miceuz
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 14, 2013, 09:19:06 pm
content: I must say, i'm in heaven. My SO is an (astro) physicist, her electronics course was boring theory and proffessor was a prick, so she has no love for electronics, but she does ceramics as a hobby, so I took an opportunity to build an oven controller for that. In addition we have wonderful long conversations about the basics.

author: madshaman
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 07, 2013, 09:53:41 pm
content: Well, things couldn't be better. Looks like she's even willing to support me if I wanted to tinker full-time (assuming worst case where I generate zero income, which I don't intend to happen).She's left me little post it notes of encouragement in my lab journal and my power electronics text.And for some bizarre reason, when I babble incomprehensibly about technology (she's in finance). It excites her.I don't deserve such a good twist.

author: manticore00
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: June 07, 2013, 11:00:12 pm
content: My wife is supportive of my hobbies but has zero interest in either electronics or anything computer related(she won't even let me get her a smartphone!), but she's just as occupied with her work(currently in the home stretch of getting a PhD) as I am with my job and hobbies. We've found that what works best for us is to have routine time together that is sacred (e.g. cooking together or watching shows we both like together) and for us both to be willing to be interrupted in our tasks for a few moments for a hug/kiss/etc.Oh and my wife does the same thing when I talk about technology, she says that she doesn't care about the stuff but she likes that I'm passionate about things I like and that I have a desire to learn and better myself. Perhaps your lady thinks the same? In any event she sounds like a great catch, congrats!

author: Unknown
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: June 07, 2013, 11:06:17 pm
content: That was hilarious, I posted it to G+, I want to see how many people get it.

author: nctnico
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 07, 2013, 11:22:35 pm
content: In my experience women need attention but there is always room for hobbies. Fortunately I make a living working on electronics so I have a good excuse to spend time in my office.

author: Unknown
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: June 07, 2013, 11:25:27 pm
content: Manticore, I know several women who seem to get just a bit hot and bothered when I start talking about electronics. I don't get it, but I'm not going to look that gift horse in the mouth.Single at the moment, though, and honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

author: nctnico
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 08, 2013, 12:56:28 am
content: Sure they where women?BTW I've never ever met a female electronics engineer.

author: Unknown
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: June 08, 2013, 01:05:20 am
content: The lady who founded Adafruit comes to mind. I don't remember her name offhand. There are a few. It is mostly a sausagefest though.Yes, I'm sure they were women.

author: David_AVD
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 08, 2013, 01:39:33 am
content: Having electronics as part of your job can mean you have more time for your spouse at home. They also need to have a hobby so you don't end up living in each others pockets though.

author: SLJ
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 08, 2013, 02:50:49 am
content: She thought I was a little nuts when we first met but it's how we make money now and she's fine with any aspect of it.

author: ddavidebor
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 08, 2013, 05:22:44 am
content: Quote from: duskglow on June 08, 2013, 01:05:20 amI know a milf ee

author: perfect_disturbance
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: June 08, 2013, 05:56:10 am
content: Quote from: Rick Law on May 14, 2013, 05:16:01 amYou know what. Right off the bat I started like many others on this thread to think about strategies I've used to balance the two. Then I read this post and Rick is right. Great advice. Hobbies are fun but time spent with you loved ones is never wasted.

author: madshaman
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 01:28:34 am
content: Quote from: manticore00 on June 07, 2013, 11:00:12 pmYeah, not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth, though kind of makes me wonder now why, in the past, I was ever okay with someone who didn't support my interests.

author: Unknown
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 01:29:43 am
content: Sometimes you have to go through a few duds before you realize what you wanted all along in the first place. It's part of maturing.

author: madshaman
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 01:31:46 am
content: Quote from: perfect_disturbance on June 08, 2013, 05:56:10 amYou wouldn't say this if you've ever been in a stifling relationship, you can be close to each other by just being in the house together and as orhers suggest, have little visits as you both do your thing.

author: Unknown
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 04:28:33 pm
content: Well i have two good friends , who also had pretty interesting hobbies and goals in life.The one was electronic freak with pretty cool modern lab. His goal was to work in own scientific research lab one day. So he decided to study El. Egnineering and then go for Dr.Mainly he and Dave J. motivated me to start learning hardware design/programming.After he met his girlfriend he stopped spending time in his lab. He even sold some of his equipment...At the beginning his Gl was like:"Oh, we cant afford us a new furniture, cant you sell some of your devices, you dont use them anyway..." and he was like "ok". Now he abandonned his goals, he dropped University after getting Bachelor degree and now working in some small electronic company designing some cheap illumination systems...The other one was a motivated programmer, who was also interested in programming hardware. His aim was work in some robotic company. After he married his GF his life changed. He dropped hardware and started to work in web design: java, MySQL etc. Everything that brings you fast income.I presonaly think womens mainly slows mens down.Before marriage:Sure honey, go play poker with your freinds all the night, i dont mindWow, you bought new Oscilloscope! CongratulationOf course you can spend Friday evening with your friends, i dont mindAfter marriage:I dont like your friends, i wouldnt go to them. What? How can you go and leave me home alone??How can you spend 300 Dollars on your new toys while we have an old washing machine...Your toys taking too much space/time...If you could sell some of it we can afford a new *place some usless thing here*Only me is left with my big goal: Working at ESA on own spacecarft project! ( I study Nanooptoelectronics , Master Degree). If not me, who then?!

author: Tepe
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 04:41:02 pm
content: Quote from: Citizen on June 09, 2013, 04:28:33 pmYou still have some growing up to do.

author: c4757p
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 05:01:04 pm
content: Quote from: Tepe on June 09, 2013, 04:41:02 pmMaybe he's just spent too much time around women....nahhhhh....

author: Unknown
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 05:09:14 pm
content: Well, that what by oservation are showing me so far:)Sure, if you find a women who is also interested in science or have big goals, then she will even motivate you to go further.But where do you find this one?=)

author: Arp
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 05:13:44 pm
content: There's some truth to thatI have become quite the lobbyist since I got married. Every purchase has to go through the high council. Even my tiny donation to eevblog

author: Tepe
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 05:19:14 pm
content: Quote from: Citizen on June 09, 2013, 05:09:14 pmWell, you used an awfully small sample.

author: mark-r
author_rank: Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 05:20:34 pm
content: Quote from: perfect_disturbance on June 08, 2013, 05:56:10 amSpeaking as someone who lost their wife of 15 years to cancer, that is the single best piece of advice you'll ever read on here.

author: Unknown
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 05:31:02 pm
content: Not always, sometimes you think:"why the hell did i spend X years of life on you...."

author: c4757p
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 05:34:02 pm
content: Quote from: Citizen on June 09, 2013, 05:31:02 pmWhy - have you heard that a lot?

author: Unknown
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 05:38:01 pm
content: i personaly never heard it in my address:)But thats a common sentence from ppl 40+ who are suddenly disappointed in own partner.

author: c4757p
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 05:40:17 pm
content: Those are the ones who married boobs, not women. I doubt it's such a common complaint among people who married someone they actually liked as a person.

author: lemmegraphdat
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 06:09:02 pm
content: Quote from: c4757p on June 09, 2013, 05:40:17 pmBoobs come in both sexes.

author: c4757p
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 06:18:43 pm
content: Sadly, mine would have to agree with you. Also sadly, nobody wants to marrymyboobs...

author: nctnico
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 07:40:54 pm
content: Quote from: Arp on June 09, 2013, 05:13:44 pmThe best thing is to keep your own bank account and she keeps hers. Its 2013. Men can also handle spending money!I second the advice on finding a woman (or must I be politically correct and say 'someone' ?) you can get along with and have mutual respect. Definitely not someone who is bitching and nagging all day long. I've seen that going bad. A good test for a relation is to go on a holiday together for one or two weeks and just be yourself.

author: Unknown
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 07:43:07 pm
content: Well, c4757p, that's legal in Washington state now...

author: madshaman
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 09:54:56 pm
content: Quote from: c4757p on June 09, 2013, 05:40:17 pmI think eventually everyone learns how to respect themselves and marrying boobs becomes a ludicrous proposition.

author: David_AVD
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2013, 10:09:56 pm
content: A lot of divorces are not surprises (to others) when they happen.Having identical interests and hobbies can be a recipe for disaster. You and your partner need to have some exclusive interests.I help my wife with her craft hobby occasionally, but that's only PC help, tools and "hold your finger on this bow while I tie the ribbon" stuff.

author: SLJ
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 10, 2013, 12:12:00 am
content: Quote from: David_AVD on June 09, 2013, 10:09:56 pmNot a problem here. I solder, she bakes.

author: N TYPE
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: June 18, 2013, 10:47:22 am
content: ^^THIS should be printed on a t-shirt!

author: Stonent
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 18, 2013, 05:45:48 pm
content: Quote from: Fsck on May 13, 2013, 11:15:07 pmUnfortunately, electronic girlfriends don't age well...

author: madshaman
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 18, 2013, 07:37:03 pm
content: Seems the key is to be with the right person in the first place.It took me a lot of my adult life to finally figure that out.I think now if you're with someone who actually cares about *you*, you're going to get nothing but support; if you don't, well, draw your own conclusion (I know, much easier said than done when you're in the middle of it, I vowed not to get in the middle of anything anymore unless I was *sure* of that part. Seems it's paid off beyond my greatest expectations, ymmv)