Engineering humor hub - Page 1
Forum section: electronics / general

author: CM800
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: January 11, 2018, 04:53:10 pm
content: Why Engineers Don't Write Recipe BooksChocolate Chip Cookies:Ingredients:532.35 cm3 gluten4.9 cm3 NaHCO34.9 cm3 refined halite236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O114.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehydeTwo calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogeneous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogeneous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.

author: metrologist
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 11, 2018, 05:18:37 pm
content: Yes, because cooks know that measure by weight is much more accurate.

author: SeanB
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 11, 2018, 06:44:50 pm
content: Well, mass and volume are related by density, and using an average density of the material and expressing as a volume is good enough for Civil engineering.However, you missed that the final step in the blending the heat input is mostly as a result of enbergy added to the product as a result of mechanical shear during this blending process, which results in an undesired temperature rise.And, now totally off topic, Armenian girls......Yes not quite the song, but non the less.....

author: Leiothrix
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: January 11, 2018, 09:36:17 pm
content: I'd expect an engineer to specify weight instead of volume.Possibly in mols instead of kgs as well.And specify a species for the eggs.

author: janekm
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 06:54:19 am
content: Quote from: Leiothrix on January 11, 2018, 09:36:17 pmNot to mention weight for the eggs... eggs vary hugely in weight! And personally I'm not a huge fan of shells in my cookies.Tallow is absolutely not the same thing as butter.You won't have much luck with "theobroma cacao" either... Do you mean the whole fruit? Just the bean? Roasted, to what state? Powdered? Alkali-processed or not?Legume meats I imagine is supposed to be almonds?

author: tszaboo
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 09:23:51 am
content: I hate recipes. They have phrases like "teaspoon of sugar" and "bake until it is crispy brown" and all these holistic bullshit. I started using science in the kitchen. I check oven temperate by IR. Soup is served at 70C. Pizza should be started baking for 10:30 when the temperature reaches 220C.I actually consider starting sous vide cooking. Less bullshit.Vacuum seal the meat. Place it in water. Cook at 68.5C for 4 hours. Place it in pre-heated grill for 1 minute, enjoy your meal. Consistent result all the time.

author: BU508A
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 09:51:39 am
content: EE dancing tutorial:Source:https://i.pinimg.com/736x/e0/87/e3/e087e396bf2c98d112ae7b624b23bbc7--electrical-engineering-humor-civil-engineering-humor.jpg

author: Mr. Scram
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 10:49:43 am
content: Quote from: NANDBlog on January 12, 2018, 09:23:51 amDoneness? Undercooked? People need to stop bitching and just eat their lovely meat.

author: vk6zgo
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 11:18:10 am
content: There were a Technician, an Engineer, & an Economist.Each had a dog & a cat, & wanted their animals to be able to go outside to do their "business", without their owner's intervention.The Tech fitted a " doggy door" , & both pets used it.The Engineer couldn't stand to see a big door wasted with the small cat, so fitted a small cat door, as well, with a complex system to prevent the cat using the dog door.The Economist fitted a cat door, & tried to shove the dog through it.Maybe this makes more sense with the edit---My God, I hate this iPad!!

author: tszaboo
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 12:01:43 pm
content: Quote from: Mr. Scram on January 12, 2018, 10:49:43 amRaw parts of steak is absolutely disgusting. Also under or overcooked hard boiled egg.I believe science has the answer."Doneness is a gauge of how thoroughly cooked a cut of meat is based on the color, juiciness and internal temperature when cooked.From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

author: Mr. Scram
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 12:43:28 pm
content: Quote from: NANDBlog on January 12, 2018, 12:01:43 pmAnyone who thinks a raw bit of steak is "absolutely disgusting" might better stick to broccoli.

author: tszaboo
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 12:47:44 pm
content: Quote from: Mr. Scram on January 12, 2018, 12:43:28 pmCould people have different taste?

author: Mr. Scram
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 12:54:47 pm
content: Quote from: NANDBlog on January 12, 2018, 12:47:44 pmI might be knee-jerking a bit, but I'm getting a bit fed up with men stuck in an office the whole week overcompensating their loss of freedom by getting all fancy about food in the weekends, especially if it's the "manly" foods. The latest fad was barbecuing, with all sorts of super expensive equipment, workshops and whatnot. It's not that hard. Slap meat on something approximately hot. Not cooked enough? Wait longer next time.

author: BradC
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 12:59:31 pm
content: Quote from: Mr. Scram on January 12, 2018, 12:54:47 pmOr make the plate hotter. While it's not hard, it's slightly more complicated than reducing it to time. It's certainly not as hard as the blowhards try to make it out to be however.My wife became a naturalised Aussie this year (she's from Ayr). I keep telling her she'll never be a *real* Australian as she is completely incapable of sufficiently ruining meat on the BBQ.

author: sokoloff
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 01:07:36 pm
content: Quote from: NANDBlog on January 12, 2018, 09:23:51 amSous vide steaks are excellent, easy, and quite repeatable. I'm pretty sure we spent under $100 for the Anova sous vide device.Note that 68°C is well past "ruined" though, IMO.We cook ours to 131°F/55°C

author: BU508A
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 01:18:39 pm
content: Quote from: sokoloff on January 12, 2018, 01:07:36 pmBut this will not guarantee, that all bacteria have been killed.For example:Quote:"Does cooking kill Cl. botulinum and its toxin?Normal thorough cooking (pasteurisation: 70°C 2min or equivalent) will kill Cl.botulinum bacteria but not its spores. To kill the spores of Cl.botulinum a sterilisation process equivalent to 121°C for 3 min is required. The botulinum toxin itself is inactivated (denatured) rapidly at temperatures greater than 80°C . "Source:https://web.archive.org/web/20140521032214/http://www.fsai.ie/faqs/botulism.html#botulism6

author: Mr. Scram
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 01:23:23 pm
content: Quote from: BU508A on January 12, 2018, 01:18:39 pmSpores don't seem to be an issue for food that's consumed not long after preparation.

author: BU508A
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 01:33:21 pm
content: Quote from: Mr. Scram on January 12, 2018, 01:23:23 pmYep. But a lot of bacteria need a much higher temperature than 55°C to get killed. Even these Cl. botulinum can survive 55°C.Not t speak of legionella or salmonella.

author: rrinker
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 01:42:54 pm
content: Yup, this is indeed an engineering humor thread - it went from funny to a serious discussion about food-borne bacteria in nothing flat.

author: tszaboo
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 01:44:14 pm
content: Quote from: Mr. Scram on January 12, 2018, 12:54:47 pmYeah, just slap it on the still hot V8 engine for some time and eat it. The engine oil actually gives it some taste. Also, I eat my beef jerky with testosterone and rocks.Quote from: sokoloff on January 12, 2018, 01:07:36 pmIt was a random temperature and time. I've yet to try it at home.

author: Mr. Scram
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 01:49:40 pm
content: Quote from: NANDBlog on January 12, 2018, 01:44:14 pmYou're not the first.

author: schmitt trigger
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 01:51:47 pm
content: An old one but good one:-A mathematician and an engineer are in a corner of a room. In the opposite corner there is an exceedingly beautiful woman. She tells them:"Whoever reaches me first can have me." She says with a smile on her lips. And in a seductive voice continues: "And I'm so hoooorny tonight".She continues with her explanation, an in a wicked voice she says: "However, there is one rule. The first steps you will cover half the room length and stop for a second. The next steps, you will cover half of that half and stop. Next steps, you will cover half of that half of that half. Continue that way until you reach me"The mathematician starts weeping inconsolably. He knows it will take him an infinite amount of time to reach her.On the other hand, the engineer is all smiles. He asks the woman: "Is a 10% tolerance OK with you?"

author: rrinker
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 01:53:37 pm
content: Quote from: Mr. Scram on January 12, 2018, 01:49:40 pmPFFFT, there's a whole BOOK on the subject!http://www.wisebread.com/cooking-great-meals-with-your-car-engine-the-heat-is-on

author: BU508A
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 01:58:00 pm
content: Quote from: rrinker on January 12, 2018, 01:42:54 pmYou know, we Germans have a bit the tendency to be a bit humourless.

author: rrinker
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 02:01:19 pm
content: Although I am of a pretty much pure German background myself - though a branch that came to the US more than 200 years ago.

author: Mr. Scram
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 02:01:25 pm
content: Quote from: schmitt trigger on January 12, 2018, 01:51:47 pmOr it's a rectangular room and both parties are in the corners of a short side. You'll be having a good time well before the math starts getting you.

author: BrianHG
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 02:09:07 pm
content: Quote from: NANDBlog on January 12, 2018, 12:01:43 pmSorry to tell you this, but, I've been eating un-aged fresh grade AAA Canadian and American Silver Medallion seared on the outside fillet minion, with raw but body temperature inside for 20 years now. Never got sick from it and it is the best tasting thing I've ever had and I lot over 150 pounds of body fat eating the stuff.Something is wrong with your meat's quality, storage, preparation if it tastes disgusting raw at or just above body temperature. Maybe the meat you have access to has been aged?Out teeth and gut prove we are omnivores and man has been around before the invention of cooking.

author: tszaboo
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 02:30:11 pm
content: Quote from: BrianHG on January 12, 2018, 02:09:07 pmAgain. Different people, different taste.https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1698869/There is actual genetic difference of food preference.There was this Indian guy I've worked with. He didn't eat meat at all. I was OK with that. We went to an Indian restaurant, so he showed me some of the local foods, which he claimed were good. I didnt like them, not by a long shot. We agreed that people have different taste, and some like other food than others.It is really not rocket science.

author: station240
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 02:44:32 pm
content: https://xkcd.com/1406/https://xkcd.com/730/

author: rstofer
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 07:51:55 pm
content: Quote from: BU508A on January 12, 2018, 01:58:00 pmThe shortest book ever written: "100 Years of German Humor" and, yes, I have germanic heritage. People say they can see it.I think the OP attributes more precision to engineers than is usually warranted. Many of us started with slide rules and kept the running exponent in our heads. We rounded everything to a couple of significant digits and called it good enough.High precision sounds like a physicist to me. Or a mathematician. Definitely a mathematician.

author: rrinker
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 08:56:15 pm
content: Quote from: station240 on January 12, 2018, 02:44:32 pmThe first one - they have Ethernet and Token Ring - but lo, no Arcnet! Nor 5250. Slackers.

author: apelly
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 09:26:01 pm
content: Quote from: BradC on January 12, 2018, 12:59:31 pmI certainly hope that'sherBBQ. Obviously arealAussie would never let a lady near his own!

author: Jr460
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: January 12, 2018, 09:46:05 pm
content: Euro heaven:French CookingBritish HumorGerman TechnologyEuro Hell:British CookingGerman HumorFrench Technologyhttps://www.youtube.com/embed/8JtnEUPvpus

author: BradC
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 13, 2018, 12:42:13 am
content: Quote from: apelly on January 12, 2018, 09:26:01 pmI'd have an issue if she wanted to use the lathe or the welder, but the BBQ is fair game. I'll even clean it for her afterwards and get the gas bottle filled.

author: Mr. Scram
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 13, 2018, 01:51:16 am
content: Quote from: apelly on January 12, 2018, 09:26:01 pmYou missed the "wife" part. What's his is hers. Funnily it doesn't seem to work the other way around.

author: Cerebus
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 13, 2018, 03:03:28 am
content: Quote from: BU508A on January 12, 2018, 01:18:39 pmThis is why I insist that children arethoroughlyboiled before I let myself be exposed to them. Nasty, germy, little things...