Holiday Special - Rolfie the Toad and µCurrents Rescued in Dawn Raid. - Page 1
Forum section: electronics / general

author: SgtRock
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: January 03, 2015, 07:43:33 am
content: Greetings EEVBees:--My ozzy auntie just recently sent me her old copies of the Sydney Dispatch, which contained the below article, about the recent rescue of Super Toad Rolfie and some µCurrents.Special Tuesday Edition - Sydney Weekly Dispatch and Coupon SaverRolfie The 5 Legged Toad Kidnapped by Norks, Rescued in Daring Pre-dawn Raid!by Tilba BeerburumMal Roothunker of the ASIS, and formerly a Detective with AFP NSW Sydney, reported at a press conference this morning, that the raid on the freighter Darwin's Reach by a combined assault team of SASR and AFP personnel was concluded successfully early this morning, in the pre-dawn hours, with no casualties, and that Rolfie the giant 5 legged Buffo Marianus toad and his harem, missing for two weeks, and feared dead, have been rescued unharmed. However, two of the North Korean snatch squad members, managed to walk right through the AFP perimeter, by posing as small children looking for a lost puppy. It is speculated that they then dove into the water from a neighbouring dock and swam underwater to a submerged mini sub to make good their escape.A confidential source inside the hostage rescue operation has revealed that the ASIS had a double agent inside the snatch cell. Ship's Captain No Luc Cho, in reality a Nork operative, was persuaded to turn by the use of the Honey Trap ruse. At a clandestine meeting with Roothunker at the Kimchi Jar restaurant, two days ago, Cho defected and gave up the whole operation. Cho gave all of the crew shore leave, and managed to secrete Rolfie and the girls in one of the life boats before the Norks could spirit them away. A large stash of super sophisticated electronic instruments of strategic importance was also reclaimed. Cho said these "µCurrents" were to be used to measure galvanic muscle responses in order to get a better understanding of Rolfie's astounding jumping ability.The tramp freighter Darwin's Reach, formerly the Sweet Adelaide, although crewed by Australians and Filipinos, was registered out of Panama, and captained by Cho posing as a South Korean. It seems that Rolfie and his harem, after being toadnapped were concealed in a large tub in a locked room in the engineering spaces, to which the only the captain and his two "children" had access. Now Rolfie and the girls were raised on the special Fernan Toad Diet of Fosters and Vegemite, and so a large supply of the same had been laded in. Cho had been sampling the Vegemite frequently as well as the Fosters from Rolfie's tub, when, suddenly, he realized, in mid hallucination, that back in Pyongyang he would not be getting this heavenly mana of Foster and Vegemite, and would only be getting the usual elite rations of week old Kimchi with select tree bark, and pine needles, with the occasional beetle or worm, he decided to come in from the cold. Cho's decision to do the turn about may well have been influenced by his budding romance, or so he thought, with Alice Springer the so called Mulambimby Mata Hari, who was the bait in Roothunker's Honey Trap. In the interest of journalistic openness I should tell you that Mal Roothunker and wife Nelta (from Tennessee), Alice Springer and I have known each other for years and have cooperated before, as with the Case of the Buncombe Hills Space Alien, and the first appearance of Rolfie at the Mulambimby Annual Toad Hop Off. See below links to these two Weekly Dispatch exclusives which were reprinted in a locally owned electronics blog of all things.https://www.eevblog.com/forum/chat/pram-man-sighted-again-in-sydney-suburbs-space-alien-or-man-from-future/msg81111/#msg81111https://www.eevblog.com/forum/chat/mulumbimby-police-detain-man-high-on-toad-juice-halloween-special/msg159716/#msg159716Alice Springer was the key to breaking into the Rolfie plot by chatting up Captain Cho, after making his acquaintance at the Kimchi Jar restaurant . Alice has an effect on men that is simply astounding. Capitan Cho told Springer that North Korean genetic scientists where planning to use Rolfie's polyploidal genes for giantism to turn out Diploid Super Soldiers who would grow to one and half meters tall and even taller, weighing in at as much as 35 Kilos, and with the ability to jump 20 meters or more, while carrying a full field pack and weapon. As you may know the average height of a Nork soldier has been declining for some 50 years now. In fact it was this diminutiveness of stature that allowed the two Nork agents to pose as pre-teen children and to walk right through the AFP cordon, after tearfully pestering the officer who stopped them to help the find their lost Yorkshire Terrier puppy "Popo". The officer who spoke to the two "children" said the were both wearing school uniforms. The girl appeared to be about eight years old, Korean or Chinese, pretty, with pigtails, hair ribbons, and carrying a large lolly, now thought to have been a transmitter. The boy appeared to be about age 10, also Korean or Chinese and had a cast on his right arm, possibly concealing a Makarov 50-80 silenced subsonic pistol, and was carrying a leash and dog collar. Both were sobbing "Please, please do not shoot our little doggie Popo. The officer, since reassigned to street patrol along the docks, could see no harm in these two and let them pass to get them out of the free fire zone. But in fact these kiddies were both over 25 years in age, and are North Korea's top agents.--Tio Fernan, Rolfie, and the sheilas are being kept at an undisclosed location at this time. Fernan said " We have oodles of Fosters and Vegemite, and no worries." Fernan is the fellow who raised Rolfie from a mass of toad spawn he found beside a roadside ditch in Maralinga, the old nuke testing sight, after hearing tales of monster toads from local aboriginal folks. Fernan also said he will not be offering Rolfie's toadpoles for sale since the Rolfie project has been declared a strategic asset. In other news, Rolfie has been invited to do a demonstration jump at the Jumping Frog Jubilee in Angels Camp, Calaveras County, California this coming 3rd weekend in May. Your roving correspondent will be there if Rolfie goes. Ta."Toad sat straight down in the middle of the dusty road, his legs stretched out before him, and stared fixedly in the direction of the disappearing motor-car. He breathed short, his face wore a placid satisfied expression, and at intervals he faintly murmured 'Poop-poop!' "From the Wind in The Willows by Kenneth Grahame 1859 - 1932Best RegardsClear Ether

author: GreyWoolfe
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: January 04, 2015, 12:39:27 am
content: Not sure what to say to this. Hope Dave doesn't get into hot water for selling to the Norks. Is Rolfie up for sharing a Fosters? Never tried Vegemite, but doing google fu, I found a World Market nearby that I can get some and try it. An added bonus is if the smell grosses out everyone else in the house

author: metalphreak
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: January 04, 2015, 01:29:10 am
content: "Rolfie The 5 Legged Toad Kidnapped by Norks"Lucky bastard.I hope they were a nice pair.

author: GreyWoolfe
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: January 04, 2015, 01:50:36 am
content: Quote from: metalphreak on January 04, 2015, 01:29:10 amNow that I am learning the slang, I agree. Some guys like apples, some like oranges but what guy doesn't like a nice pair. The bigger the better, anyone who says anything more than a handful is wasted has never had contact with anything over a handful. Come to think if it, even a handful is subjective. I will just say that I wear a size 13 wedding ring and leave it at that.

author: SgtRock
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: January 11, 2015, 10:20:23 pm
content: Dear GreyWoolfe:--Your comment about a size 13 wedding ring, chuckle, reminded me a a story from the annals of psychological warfare. Paul Myron Anthony Linebarger 1913 - 1966, better known as science fiction author (one of the best), Cordwainer Smith was in charge of PsyWar in China during WWII. One of his best ideas was to have some extra large condoms made and marked "Medium". These were then left in plausible places for Japanese troops to discover.--Also I found a picture of the new Electronics VP of the new Rolfie Enterprises company. In the picture she prepares to use a venerable Fluke 87, as well as an un-pictured uCurrent to test their new patented Toad Tickler."Glorious, stirring sight! The poetry of motion! The real way to travel! The only way to travel! Here today - in next week tomorrow! Villages skipped, towns and cities jumped - always somebody else's horizon! O bliss! O poop-poop! O my! O my."Mr. Toad from the Wind in the Willows, by Kenneth GrahameBest RegardsClear Ether