Bad Electronics Jokes - Page 1
Forum section: electronics / general

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: April 20, 2022, 07:43:56 pm
content: Some terrible electronics and computing jokes I made over the years, some people at here may enjoy them.Q: A linear regulator has a power efficiency problem and asks for help. What did the switched-mode power supply answer?A: Have you tried turning it off and on again?Q: Why has the hardware developer stopped eating junk food recently?A: Because of chip shortage.Q: What do you call a hardware developer who accidentally plugged 5 V logic to a 3.3 V UART port?A: A serial killer.Q: Why does Shahriar Shahramian need a lab cat for The Signal Path?A: It's all about meowlimeter waves.Q: What do you say when a microcontroller dies?A: /RST in peace.Q: Why does the amplifier refuse to work?A: It demands proper compensation.Q: What do you call when the White House or the Congress keeps changing its official stance back and forth?A: Washington AC.Q: Why do digital design engineers always have extremely busy jobs?A: They have to work around the clock.Q: Why can't a high-speed transmission line find a job?A: It must be terminated.Q: Why did vector voltmeters become obsolete?A: They don't solve real problems.Q: What does an EEPROM become during the pandemic?A: A Mask ROM.Q: What do you call two network operators in an unhealthy relationship?A: A twisted pair.Q: What do you call a monopole antenna when it was patented by Marconi back then?A: A monopoly antenna.Q: What does an amplifier says when there's a lot of high-frequency noise in its power supply?A: "It Hertz!"Q: What do you say when a sensor mysteriously stopped working?A: It doesn't make sense!Q: What do you say when a hardware developer is ignoring the signal integrity problems in the system?A: Open your eyes!Q: Why did YouTube demonetize a video lecture on control systems?A: It's full of negative feedback.Q: What do you call a programming language that only supports integers?A: A pointless programming language.Q: What do you call a secret conspiracy by a group of analog electronics designers?A: The Bode Plot.Q: What does a technician say when the multimeter gives a wrong reading?A: It could just be a Fluke.Q: Why do Ethernet transceivers always argue with each other?A: Because they can't find a common ground.Q: Why can't the UK just cancel Brexit?A: The instruction "br exit" is an unconditional jump.Q: What do you say when a new CPU vulnerability is announced but details are still under embargo?A: I can make some predictions, but it's all speculative.Q: What does a USB device say when it gets angry?A: Am I just a J/K to you?!Q: What does a hardware developer say when an EEPROM is accidentally erased?A: What the FF?Q: What do you say when a datasheet is missing important information or full of mistakes?A: Datashit.Q: What do you say when you reopen Matlab after it crashes?A: The Matrix Reloaded.Q: Why did a mathematician purchase a bunch of coils and transformers before writing the paper?A: Proof by induction.Q: What does an engineer say to an opamp when it's used as a rail splitter?A: Hold your ground!Q: Why did Scalar Network Analyzer become obsolete in electronics?A: Because history is written by the vector.Q: What is your job title when your electronics project is really boring?A: circuit bored designer.Q: What do you call a cheap step-down power converter that costs under $1?A: A buck converter.Q: What do you say when you've wasted many hours on a defective eval board?A: Evil board.Q: A radio engineer owns an airplane but it never leaves the airport, why?A: For most RF circuits to work properly, you need a ground plane.Q: What is the best job for a Low-Barrier Schottky Diode detector?A: Wikipedia editor. Because it works without bias.Q: What do you say when you are puzzled by a mysterious integer overflow bug?A: It doesn't add up.Q: What does an engineer say when an amplifier works but with some harmonic distortions?A: Fundamentally, it's not really a problem.Q: If you are making a series of tutorials on impedance matching, what should you say at the beginning?A: Stay tuned!Q: If you are making a tutorial on control systems, what should you say to your audience?A: Your feedback is important!Q: Why did an RF engineer go to Area 51 to work on an Ethernet system?A: To solve the alien crosstalk problem.Q: Why do you need a capacitor before start watching US politics on C-SPAN TV?A: To protect yourself from DC bias.Q: What do you say when a robot is broken after a Darlington power transistor failed?A: The robot has bipolar disorder.Q: How does an antenna designer solve an impedance matching problem with a Vector Network Analyzer?A: Taking a moment of reflection.Q: Why was the electronics manufacturing engineer fired from the job, but later became a successful architect?A: for creating a lot of bridges.Q: Why can't investors make a conclusion about the current 5G mobile chipset market?A: They always get mixed signals.Q: When do you say when a spy sold you top-secret technical data on x86 processor microarchitectures?A: Good intel.Q: What does an impedance analyzer say when you connect a capacitor to it?A: Is it real or am I just imagining things?Q: What do you say when a power supply is broken after its electrolytic capacitors have gone bad?A: The power supply is incapacitated.Q: What do you say when an engineer from Poland got paid after leading a labor dispute?A: Dominant-pole compensation.Q: What do you say when a broken PIN diode switch took down the RF amplifier?A: No PIN, no gain.Q: Why did a group of VCs refuse to invest in a startup company which is trying to build a new CPU?A1: Too much RISC.A2: Because it costs an ARM and a Lag.Q: Why is it slow to send data over a serial port?A: You have to go bit by bit.Q: What do you say when your power supply supports remote sensing for cable voltage drop compensation?A: Resistance is futile.Q: What do you call when ham radio operators on the shortwave are talking about things to sell for hamfest?A: High Frequency Trading.Q: What do you say when people are talking about control theory and you don't understand anything?A: I'm out of the loop.Q: Why did the Analog Devices CEO power up a 7805 breadboard before purchasing Linear Technology?A: The acquisition must be approved by the regulators.Q: Why does the NIST have a large supply of Doublemint in its physics labs?A: All measurement uncertainty must be calculated according to the GUM.Q: What does an RF amplifier do after it's destroyed by an output open circuit by some clueless maintenance crew?A: Suing for wrongful termination.Q: What do you say when you're searching for a high-voltage circuit, and finally found a suitable design that looks promising?A: It has a big potential!Q: When the '\a' character on your Unix terminal doesn't beep, where is the best place to find an expert to solve your problem?A: Bell Labs.Q: Why did an embedded programmer rewrite a 100-line loop and joined them as a 10000-character single line in C?A: The book said reducing loop area is the key to control electromagnetic interference.Q: How do you describe the fact that low-side current sensing at ground is easier than high-side current sensing?A: It's common sense.Q: Why should you never allow an RF/microwave technician to test your embedded system?A: Your system will get de-embedded.Q: What does a motherboard designer say when the deadline is near but a high-speed signal problem caught them in surprise and the CPU is not working?A: "Oh DDR!"Q: What do you call when you have a lot of 7400 chips but you refuse to give or sell them to someone else?A: Gatekeeping.Q: What do you say when a buggy device keeps generating spurious interrupts, says something is there, but every time the CPU went to process it, there's nothing, and a lot of system resources is wasted?A: The IRQ War.Q: Why is the production of the BIOS chips delayed?A: ROM wasn't build in a day.Q: What do you say when an amplifier has unwanted lag in the feedback loop, but you still get some phase margin left?A: instability can be a problem, but only to a lesser degree.Q: What do you say when your Tektronix oscilloscope is broken, and it cannot be fixed on site so you'll have to live without the scope in the following days?A: You have a "Teknical" problem, and your problem is "out of scope".Q: What do electronics engineers do when they are asked to reproduce a software bug that crashes the system only after a 100-day uptime?A: Placing it in an oven, heating it up to 125 degrees, and then apply Arrhenius Equation to it.Q: What do you say when a purchase order of rigid coax cables gets delayed due to supply-chain difficulties, but the company insists the vendor to deliver it on time and refuses to renegotiate the terms?A: "We are taking a hard-line stance on this problem!"Q: A PCB designer spent a lot of time on optimization, eventually, even all the right-angle bends are carefully mitered to preserved the characteristic impedance. But the customer rejected the finished product, why?A: "Look at the circuit board! See? They are cutting corners!"

author: metrologist
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 20, 2022, 08:06:36 pm
content: OK, #2. To help our engineers, tomorrow I will be bringing in bags of Doritos, Lays, and etc. to help them cope with our chip shortage.

author: free_electron
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 27, 2022, 04:34:23 am
content: What do you say to a digital designer that needs to synthesize and simulate everything before he understands it ?More TTL and less VHDL.

author: Zbig
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 05, 2022, 12:57:01 pm
content: Wow, you've set a pretty dry... I mean pretty high bar right there, but I'll biteWhat is the technical university's analog electronics design faculty specializing in voltage regulator design most famous for?Low Drop-OutAudio design lab cat had two kittens. Their names?Wow & FlutterWhy did a boutique audio shop switch to solid state?They were tired of creating ideas in vacuumTitle of the documentary about leading DSP company researchers?Fast and FouriersWhy did nobody like this smartphone repair shop?It was full of hot airWhy did all the DC power supplies fail one after another?Ripple effectWhat was the doctor's advice for a network technician's gastric problems?More fiber

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 05, 2022, 03:18:54 pm
content: Q: What do you say, when a Microcontroller finally dies ?A: Actually they are all made out of (Silicone) dies.Q: A Resistor fell in love with a nearby female family member, what do you say ?A: Resist-her.Q: What to do if a Transistor, keeps on over-eating ?A: Use a heatsink, to stop it over-eating.Q: What Camera accessory, is best for shooting pictures and saving your pictures on ?A: Flash gunQ: What do you use, to make funny electronic foods stuffs with ?A: Silly-con Wafers, or Silly-con Chips.Q: How many homes, does a resistor factory worker need ?A: Just one ohm.

author: NiHaoMike
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 06, 2022, 02:13:16 am
content: I used to not consider AMD products, but then they had Ryzen...Did you hear about the time Alayna Phillips connected a LED to a 10MHz oscillator? She considers 10MHz and below DC...Latch up: when CMOS circuits go bipolar.The Joe Smith 14kV DMM test: if it survives, it's a Fluke."So I used to really love diodes, but, I always felt like that feeling was one way!" - Xyla FoxlinQuote from: niconiconi on April 20, 2022, 07:43:56 pmActual experience with Agilent at work: you know it's bad when they send a rep over to explain that they're "out of scopes".

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 07, 2022, 12:31:54 pm
content: Q: How do you describe the process of impedance matching?A: It's complex.Q: Why are electronics engineers bad at cooking?A: They use too much SPICE.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 07, 2022, 12:37:15 pm
content: Vendor-specific jokes:Q: What do you call when you have Broadcom chips but can't really do anything without datasheets, which are all under NDA?A: BoredCom.Q: What do you say when a Realtek network adapter doesn't work?A: Faketek.Q: What do you say when a Richtek power management chip doesn't work?A: Poortek.Q: What do you say when the Allwinner ARM SoC has a silicon bug?A: AllLoser.Q: What do you say when an ASMedia PCIe controller is defective?A: ASSMedia.Q: What do you say when a Huawei HiSilicon chip has a lot of bugs?A: LoSilicon.Q: What do you say when a Huawei HiSilicon chip is damaged?A: ByeSilicon.Q: What do you say when a Huawei HiSilicon chip has high power consumption and runs really hot?A: HiSiliconCarbide

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 07, 2022, 12:43:28 pm
content: Q: Which logic device keeps on making jokes?A: A JK Flip-Flop.Q: Which component can give you chemical poisoning, despite having no dangerous chemicals, in it?A: LEDs, as they still aren't LED free yet.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 07, 2022, 04:48:09 pm
content: Q: What do you say when the management is always looking for the cheapest resistors and capacitors to cut costs?A: The management is passive-aggressive.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 08, 2022, 02:03:07 am
content: Q: What chipset in around the 2000's behaved like a sissy?A: The SiS 530Q: What is the state of broadband in the UK?A: Patchwork Britain.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 10, 2022, 07:10:00 pm
content: Q: Why didn't an RF system vendor get many sales after advertising their products?A: The ad says their performance is "unmatched".

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 12, 2022, 09:34:21 pm
content: Q: What do you say when you are selling electronics soldering kits for an 8-bit retro computer?A: Some assembly required, just use the provided instructions.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 15, 2022, 11:08:36 am
content: Q: What do you say when someone asks you how to build bandpass filters with a very high Q?A: The solution should be crystal clear, you already SAW that in the book before.

author: Teti
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: May 15, 2022, 07:34:21 pm
content: I just leave this here for later

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 17, 2022, 05:53:58 am
content: Q: Why did digital designers come late to work?A: Insufficient margin in the bus timing.

author: MuhScopeBroke
author_rank: Contributor
timestamp: May 17, 2022, 07:07:58 pm
content: This may be the largest compilation of electronics jokes on this Earth, bless you

author: Kaziq
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: May 18, 2022, 09:21:12 am
content: Q: Why AM radio receiver persuaded its brother to change his gender?A: It wanted to have a trans-sister.Also not exactly electronics, but anyway:Q: What did Elon Musk name a company that didn't do anything interesting?A: The boring company.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 18, 2022, 09:50:21 am
content: Q: How much charge, is there between a metal plated air-gap capacitor, with 1mm spacing and 2.5 volts across it ?A: None, air is free of charge (£/$'s)Q: Who can charge a fully broken/expired battery ?A: A Businessman or taxman. They can charge (£/$'s) for almost anything.Q: Why does a capacitor, always give out electric shocks, even when fully discharged ?A: Because capacitors, are usually not free of charge (£/$'s)

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 18, 2022, 03:06:05 pm
content: Q: How does an RF designer find the input impedance of an amplifier?A: By taking a moment of reflection.

author: NiHaoMike
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 19, 2022, 02:04:12 am
content: Quote from: niconiconi on May 17, 2022, 05:53:58 amWhoever named the data bus obviously doesn't actually take the bus because those work like Token Ring!

author: free_electron
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 19, 2022, 08:16:00 pm
content: what do you call two engineers that get along , but not with anyone else ?the twisted pair

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 19, 2022, 08:27:46 pm
content: Q: What component, is made up of crushed up, peoples pets/animals?A: Cat5 CableQ: What type of weather, has the biggest storage capacity?A: Cloud storageQ: Which component, never gets caught by the Police?A: A capacitor, as it always manages to out foil the police detectivesQ: Which component, appears most often in the Movies?A: A film capacitor

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 20, 2022, 03:38:53 am
content: Q: What can cause buffer overflow problems at the tap?A: Beer.

author: bsfeechannel
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 21, 2022, 12:04:45 am
content: Why is a raven like a writing desk?Neither knows how to solder.

author: NiHaoMike
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 21, 2022, 03:15:16 pm
content: Quote from: MrMobodies on May 20, 2022, 03:38:53 amAny carbonated liquid has that problem if there's something dissolved that promotes foaming.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 21, 2022, 08:26:22 pm
content: Just to clarify I meant when the glass is filling up from the tap and it overflows and then the barman has to wait a bit for it to go down.Sorry if it was a poor joke.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 22, 2022, 08:18:46 pm
content: Q: What happens when someone finds an electrical shock hazard in an airplane's avionics?A: Get grounded.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 22, 2022, 08:31:41 pm
content: Q: What kind of software bugs can crash autonomous cars?A: A bad driver.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 23, 2022, 12:05:05 am
content: Q: What do you get, if you mix a prison with a battery?A: A Lithium Iron CellQ: What do you call an empty resistor?A: A capacitorQ: What do you get if you cross a Chicken with a power cell?A: A battery henQ: How many electronics engineers, does it take to change a light bulb?A: None, they are all LEDs, these daysQ: Why didn't the mains plug, cross the road?A: Because there was a (mains) cycle, coming along the road

author: BU508A
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 24, 2022, 05:50:52 am
content: They are not bad jokes. They are all true, every single one of them!

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 27, 2022, 04:31:02 pm
content: Q: Why can't the broken VT220 be fixed by electronics technicians?A: It has a terminal disease.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 27, 2022, 04:57:02 pm
content: Q: Why did you need to wait in a long line at Radio Shack to buy a 6502 microprocessor?A: Not enough registers.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 28, 2022, 12:03:22 pm
content: Q: What is your opinion on the applications of Superconducting Quantum Interference Device?A: It's a cool technology.

author: Deni
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: May 28, 2022, 05:17:42 pm
content: Q: Which type of girls do electronic guys like the most?A: Common-base type, because they have the lowest input resistance...

author: quadtech
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: May 29, 2022, 09:00:32 am
content: No offence meant -NTSB investigation on why the flight from Warsaw crashed - the last words from the pilot - on your right is the Statue of Liberty andthen the plane crashed.The smart EE figured out that the instability happened as the poles moved to the right half of the plane (to look out the window)

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 29, 2022, 10:21:37 am
content: Q: Which component, is always made out of already dead components?A: CPU Dies

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 01, 2022, 09:04:14 am
content: Q: Why does the circuit board factory make bare copper boards without tin plating?A: It's too much of a HASL.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 01, 2022, 11:05:20 am
content: Quote from: MK14 on May 29, 2022, 10:21:37 amI had a similar joke (already made before Linus did) but I didn't post it here:Q: What do you call a piece of damaged silicon die that has released its magic smoke?A: Died.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 01, 2022, 11:15:03 am
content: Q: What do you call a broken embedded system?A: An embed-dead system.

author: Labrat101
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: June 01, 2022, 11:18:44 am
content: Q: what's the difference between a pregnant woman., and a light bulb...A: you can unscrew a light bulb 💡.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 01, 2022, 02:02:50 pm
content: Q: Which component, makes the loudest and most annoying sounding racket?A: A high noise diodeQ: Which component, already has an air-tight container, for when or if, it breaks?A: A FuseQ: Which component, is only suppose to be used only once?A: A FuzeQ: Which component, is always the correct value?A: A trimmerQ: Which component, admits to being the lightest possible part?A: An LED, as they always admit/emit light, when onQ: What component types, are still on, even if switched off, and without power?A: All of On-Semi's component range

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 06, 2022, 12:12:15 am
content: Q: What do you say when a chip designer is eating snacks at work while testing some new silicon?A: On-wafer measurement.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 06, 2022, 07:04:32 pm
content: Q: What do you say when you received a supercapacitor from a company as a free sample, but it doesn't work?A: It's free of charge.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 06, 2022, 07:06:00 pm
content: Q: What is a Disney lawyer's most favorite Windows command?A:ipconfig /renew

author: TimFox
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 06, 2022, 07:21:33 pm
content: Old joke:Three engineers are traveling in one car to a jobsite.Suddenly, the car stops.The mechanical engineer says, "Must be a mechanical problem--I've got my toolbox in the trunk."The electrical engineer says, "Must be an electrical problem--I've got a multimeter in my briefcase."The software engineer says, "Open and close all the doors, then re-start the engine."

author: Ducttape
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: June 09, 2022, 06:10:25 pm
content: Q: What was Leonard Bernstein when he had completed half of his music education?A: A semi-conductor.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 17, 2022, 09:16:08 pm
content: Q: What does a radio frequency amplifier say to the transistors?A: All your base are belong to us.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 17, 2022, 09:25:58 pm
content: Q: What is the theoretical basis of a capacitor factory in Soviet Russia?A: Dielectrical materialism.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 20, 2022, 10:00:59 pm
content: Q: What should you do when the music from a shortwave radio is too boring?A: Try a different band.

author: Peter Taylor
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: June 21, 2022, 03:20:26 pm
content: The first joke was by far and away the worst joke I have ever heard.Except for my first joke, of course.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 29, 2022, 01:33:52 pm
content: Q: What does a US electrician say when your house lost 240 V but the power company is working on it?A: It's just a phase.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 29, 2022, 02:06:27 pm
content: Electromagnetic interference from the signal line is surely a headache......But it can be coaxed into compliance.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 29, 2022, 03:02:01 pm
content: Q: The NSA is building a new code-breaking supercomputer, what is this project's slogan?A: Intel inside.

author: JohnG
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 29, 2022, 03:32:15 pm
content: A duck walks into Radio Shack to buy a capacitor. The clerk says, "Do you want to charge it?"The duck replies, "No, put it on my bill."

author: JohnG
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 30, 2022, 03:02:27 am
content: A neutron goes into Radio Shack and asks for a capacitor."How much?" asks the neutron."For you, no charge." says the clerk.Giving credit where it is due:http://www.kafejo.com/haha/farads.htm

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 30, 2022, 04:40:59 pm
content: Q: What does a government speaker say in response to the media report that critical infrastructure is running on unmaintainable legacy software?A: No comment.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 30, 2022, 04:54:05 pm
content: Q: What is the coolest electronics device in the world?A: A Type-I superconductor.

author: metrologist
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 30, 2022, 05:34:39 pm
content: A power sensor walks into a bar and the bartender says, “I’m glad you’re here; I need to take a measurement. Can you take a peek?” And the sensor responds, “No sorry, I’m only an average power sensor.”

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: June 30, 2022, 10:49:06 pm
content: Quote from: metrologist on June 30, 2022, 05:34:39 pm+1. This one is pretty funny. I think I've seen that in an Anritsu RF application note.

author: metrologist
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: July 01, 2022, 06:56:20 pm
content: Yephttps://dl.cdn-anritsu.com/en-us/test-measurement/files/Brochures-Datasheets-Catalogs/Articles/11410-00929A.pdfA thermal power sensor, looking for love, walksinto a bar and immediately sees an antennasitting alone. The sensor walks up to the antennaand says, “Is it just me, or can you sense the heatbetween us?” Don’t get it? Well, it’s not thatfunny, but read on and perhaps it will make moresense.https://dl.cdn-anritsu.com/en-us/test-measurement/files/Brochures-Datasheets-Catalogs/Articles/11410-00932A.pdf

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: July 08, 2022, 02:02:24 am
content: A: In England how manygateshave their been?Q:3(Partygate, beergate, sleezegate)A: What happened to the current British Government?B: It had a mid air breakup.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: July 11, 2022, 02:08:24 pm
content: Q: Why did the US Army Signal Corps lose in a cold-weapon combat?A: Bad shielding.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: July 11, 2022, 02:15:47 pm
content: Q: What do you say when a circuit board doesn't follow the creepage and clearance rules?A: It has a potential problem.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: July 11, 2022, 03:43:10 pm
content: I posted a web tutorial about how to build oscillator circuits......It keeps receiving positive feedback.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: July 11, 2022, 03:56:07 pm
content: Q: What do you say when a vendor finally fixed instability problems in their bad amplifier design?A: It just did a 180.

author: Neper
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: July 11, 2022, 06:39:17 pm
content: Q: What's the difference between homemade RF oscillators and RF amplifiers?A: Homemade RF oscillators will never oscillate the first time you switch them on.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: July 12, 2022, 06:22:21 am
content: A: What is it called when children have a temper tantrum (scream, collapse on the floor or do a little dance) in the shopping mall because the parent's refuse to reward them with toys and candy?B: Flip Flop.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: July 13, 2022, 06:07:37 am
content: Q: A MOSFET said BJTs are always a bad choice because they require current to operate. What did the BJT reply?A: This accusation is baseless, it's just your typical MOSFET gatekeeping.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: July 13, 2022, 06:17:38 am
content: A: What food do "flat earthers" over indulge on?B:Pizza

author: Berni
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: July 13, 2022, 08:15:22 am
content: The local orchestra on an outdoor venue got caught in some bad weather and lightning struck the guy in the front.Shame really. He was a really good conductor.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: July 13, 2022, 08:20:22 am
content: Quote from: Berni on July 13, 2022, 08:15:22 am

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: July 16, 2022, 08:40:36 am
content: Q: What kind of electronics do you need to find the sources of illegal air pollution?A: An emitter follower.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: July 18, 2022, 03:34:44 pm
content: Q: What do you say when you ordered some power supplies but found they're all defective, and must be shipped back by air?A: Flyback converters.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: July 20, 2022, 03:41:33 am
content: If i had a cesium frequency standard......I would probably use it from time to time.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: July 23, 2022, 02:11:01 am
content: Q: What happens when a batch of MIL-spec capacitors are rejected?A: Get discharged.Q: Why did the project manager reject that design with supercapacitors?A: They charge too much.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: July 25, 2022, 01:57:52 am
content: Q: What type of rectifier diodes should you use in medical equipment?A: Fast recovery diodes.Q: What kind of capacitors should you use in a DVD player?A: Film capacitors.

author: Infraviolet
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: July 30, 2022, 01:24:15 am
content: Just a thought, could there be a load of these jokes produced from the idea:"exam answers received when we accidentally gave the electronics students the humanities papers"

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: August 06, 2022, 09:29:18 am
content: Q: Why does an analog design engineer open the databook of Zener diodes?A: To find a reference.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: August 08, 2022, 03:55:04 am
content: Q: If you're replicating the original radio wave experiment, what do you say when you accidentally touch the electrodes?A: It hertz!

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: August 18, 2022, 02:57:11 pm
content: Q: Why do oscilloscope measurements drift over time?A: Plate Tektronix.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: August 22, 2022, 02:58:06 am
content: Q: What do you say when a magnetic sensor doesn't work properly despite repeated attempts?A: "What the Hall?"

author: bsfeechannel
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: August 22, 2022, 04:01:25 pm
content: What do ogres and the OSI model have in common?Both have layers.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: August 25, 2022, 04:35:47 am
content: Q: What do you say when a factory exploded after a process control system failure?A: Bang-bang controller.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 01, 2022, 04:09:32 pm
content: Q: What do you say when someone asks you to build a monostable trigger circuit?A: "I'll give it one shot."

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 02, 2022, 01:36:34 am
content: Q: Which tech publisher always carefully checks all their books and you almost never see an error?A: CRC Press.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 02, 2022, 11:25:13 pm
content: Q: Why did an electronics component maker go out of business even when their products have a reputation of never breaking down?A: The company makes spark plugs.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 06, 2022, 11:50:47 am
content: Q: What do you call a fierce competition between several embedded system vendors?A: An ARMed conflict.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 11, 2022, 11:00:46 am
content: Q: What happens after people found some components from a cheap electronics supplier were unreliable under high temperature?A: Get a lower rating.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 24, 2022, 10:14:26 am
content: Q: Why has the hardware developer stopped eating junk food since recent years?A: Because there's a shortage of chips and wafers.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 24, 2022, 10:00:22 pm
content: A: What are they poor at when they can't assemble properly?B: Assembly language.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 28, 2022, 01:38:50 am
content: Q: What reason is given when the delivery of the new precision shunt resistors is delayed?A: The Kelvin bridge is closed.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 28, 2022, 01:50:30 am
content: Q: What do you say when you're building a retrocomputer but its operating frequency is too high to be authentic?A: Your clock signal is not "period-correct"

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 28, 2022, 02:05:14 am
content: Q: How do you describe the process of analyzing a circuit's frequency response in time domain?A: It's convoluted.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 30, 2022, 09:00:17 pm
content: Q: What am I when they start charging for 'tokens' instead of a 'fee' just for the privilege of using my device.A: Third world citizen.Q: What is it when I smash up a memory stick with a stone.A: Sticks and stones.

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 03, 2022, 08:41:47 am
content: My son was chewing on electrical cords, so I had to ground him. He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: October 05, 2022, 04:10:42 am
content: Q: What kind of circuit board assembly technique is the best for making oscilloscopes and signal generators?A: Wave soldering.

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 05, 2022, 04:38:35 am
content: Adds a whole new meaning to bricking the computer.

author: timenutgoblin
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: October 05, 2022, 08:02:50 am
content: Quote from: Ed.Kloonk on October 05, 2022, 04:38:35 amIt looks like you've cemented the joke.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: October 06, 2022, 05:25:20 am
content: Q: What do you call an AC mains power supply that violates electrical spacing rules?A: It's creepy.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 06, 2022, 06:03:58 am
content: Q: Why are genderless connectors, no good for computer data connections?A: Because they have a non-binary gender.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: October 07, 2022, 02:08:30 pm
content: Quote from: MK14 on October 06, 2022, 06:03:58 amPAM-5 has joined the chat...

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: October 07, 2022, 02:09:44 pm
content: Q: What do you say when someone spent hours on Microchip's website but still could not find a microcontroller with enough features?A: Being too PICky.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 07, 2022, 07:22:52 pm
content: Q: What is it when charities become too picky with placements?A: Pick and place.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: October 13, 2022, 06:02:38 am
content: Q: What should you do when the mains voltage from the grid has large fluctuations, and the power company is in violation of the national standards?A: Find a regulator.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 13, 2022, 07:02:28 am
content: Q: What do you give, a military spec capacitor, if it has been badly overloaded, with too much charge?A: An honorable discharge.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: October 16, 2022, 12:15:31 am
content: Q: What do you call when the music albums from a record company sound really bad and no better than noise?A: EMI Records.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: October 17, 2022, 12:18:46 am
content: Q: What do you say when you're reverse engineering a circuit board but you can't follow the signal inside an inner layer?A: It disappears without a trace.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: October 18, 2022, 08:34:56 pm
content: Q: What company offers the best job for a cryptography expert on random number generator?A: RAND Corporation.P.S: I remembered this only after I posted the joke... In the mid-20th century, the bookA Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviateswas an important technical reference book if one needs some random number sequences. It's just funny that its publisher was, coincidentally, RAND Corporation...

author: TimFox
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 18, 2022, 09:20:07 pm
content: Around the same time that the random number book was published, the following poem could be found on men's room walls in academic computer labs:IBM,UBM,We all BMFor IBM.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: October 20, 2022, 05:08:17 am
content: Q: What do NSA operatives say when they plan to eavesdrop a target via electromagnetic side-channel, but it doesn't work due to good shielding?A: They foiled our plan!

author: cool_man
author_rank: Newbie
timestamp: October 21, 2022, 01:35:20 pm
content: Q: Why did the computer squeak?A: Because someone stepped on its mouse!Q: Why did the computer hiccup?A: Because someone spilled soda on its keyboard!Q: How does a computer get drunk?A: It takes screenshots!

author: Zeyneb
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: October 23, 2022, 09:18:41 am
content: Q: How to convince a shallow teen girl that Mosfet is the name of a boy.A: Talk about its turn-on time.

author: Zeyneb
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: October 23, 2022, 09:58:57 am
content: Oh I've got another one.Q: How to convince a woman you've lost your mind?A: Tell her there are flip-flops inside the computer case.

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 24, 2022, 04:11:17 pm
content: If a disgraced priest is defrocked, would a terrible electrician be delighted?

author: eti
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 28, 2022, 02:19:39 am
content: What do you call an autistic snake?“A binary adder”…<tumbleweed>

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 28, 2022, 02:54:37 am
content: ^He'll be here all week!

author: eti
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 28, 2022, 02:56:38 am
content: Quote from: Ed.Kloonk on October 28, 2022, 02:54:37 amThat literally dropped into my head on the spot. It's a homebrew joke. Hehe.

author: eti
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 28, 2022, 03:12:22 am
content: ... flash sale.

author: eti
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 28, 2022, 03:27:08 am
content: So you want to know what it feels like to be drunk?Ask a glass of water.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 01, 2022, 02:58:31 pm
content: Q: Why did it take a long time for Intel engineers to design the 8259 controller?A: Too many interruptions at work.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 01, 2022, 04:45:03 pm
content: Q: Why don't zero-ohm resistors have anywhere to stay?A: Because they are ohmless

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2022, 11:33:33 pm
content: Q: Why did the US military use hydrogen thyratrons instead of triodes to generate radar pulses during World War 2?A: Because innovation doesn't happen in a vacuum.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 17, 2022, 01:25:51 am
content: Q: What would you say in the 1990s when an engineering sample of a new DEC processor crashed?A: It's still an early Alpha design.

author: timenutgoblin
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: November 17, 2022, 09:05:47 pm
content: Quote from: niconiconi on April 20, 2022, 07:43:56 pmYour avatar reminds me of a character called Tiffany from the movie "Men in Black".Quote from: JSource: Amblin, MiB

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 18, 2022, 12:13:28 pm
content: Q: What does an embedded developer say when assembly code for a PIC16 microcontroller doesn't work?A: W the F?

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 21, 2022, 08:22:09 pm
content: Q: What's the difference between Fifa and RifaA: One kicks off immediately and the other kicks off 40 years down the line.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 24, 2022, 07:54:26 am
content: Q: What do you say when equipment is destroyed by overvoltage despite gas-discharge tube protection?A: There is a gap in the design.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 27, 2022, 04:36:47 pm
content: Q: What do you say when cheap SSDs are immediately sold out during a holiday?A: A Flash sale.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 27, 2022, 05:16:41 pm
content: Q: What does a contractor say when customers found defective products with loose screws?A: I don't know what you're torquing about.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 27, 2022, 05:41:35 pm
content: Q: Why was the technician arrested by the authority after driving too much power into a diode detector?A: For violating the square law.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 27, 2022, 05:52:59 pm
content: Q: Why does a web server operated by electronics undergrads block all ports but 80 and 443?A: They're only familiar with two-port networks.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 28, 2022, 02:28:18 pm
content: Q: Why do 8-bit computer programmers never have any bad experience with financial services?A: They're good at bank switching.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 30, 2022, 12:15:57 am
content: Q: What should you do when people believe that the energy in electrical circuits is carried by electrons?A: Poynting out their mistake.

author: NiHaoMike
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 30, 2022, 05:03:13 am
content: Quote from: niconiconi on November 27, 2022, 04:36:47 pm$80 for 2TB (NVMe!) is pretty close to 2.5" HDD pricing, actually managed to get one which I then stuck in an enclosure for a great Ventoy drive.Q: Why is EXT4 so great for a skinny SSD?A: It's FAT free.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 01, 2022, 05:38:05 am
content: Q: What would make a good element for Photonicinduction?A: Electroboom

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 02, 2022, 04:55:53 pm
content: Q: What algorithm do electronics beginners use to find chips?A: DIP-first search.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 03, 2022, 02:05:30 am
content: Q: What do you say when design engineers suddenly decided to stop a CMOS project in favor of ECL to make it the world's fastest chip, at the cost of 100x higher power consumption?A: They're going bipolar.

author: eti
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 03, 2022, 03:57:57 am
content: Quote from: MK14 on November 01, 2022, 04:45:03 pmThat’s extremely contrived. 😁 - why would resistors need a home? My Dad forces “jokes” like that, heheh.You’re far from alone on that score. I’ve seen countless “jokes” here that are SO forced, and my autism detector is going off no end (I have Asperger’s).Google “what makes a joke work” - the basic elements are essential.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 03, 2022, 05:18:07 pm
content: Q: What is red all over, but actually is made with a mixture of different colours?A: eti

author: Berni
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 03, 2022, 06:53:30 pm
content: Quote from: eti on December 03, 2022, 03:57:57 amWell the title of the thread is Bad Electronics Jokes, not Good Electronics Jokes. Some jokes work on the premise of being so bad that they are funny (like dad jokes)

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2022, 06:06:07 am
content: Q: What is poor conversion efficiency to the secondary where the losses on the primary side are none?A: Fix betting odd terminals/gambling machines.Anyone like to make some about gambling machines?

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2022, 08:16:26 am
content: Quote from: MrMobodies on December 05, 2022, 06:06:07 amYoutuber Dave's Garage recently did a vid on slot machines and included some facts about probability, the winning algos and other stuff within.

author: SeanB
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2022, 08:38:33 am
content: Every single time you pull that handle, or press the button, the chances of you winning are still exactly the same, irrespective of the past winnings or losses.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2022, 05:44:55 pm
content: I don't think I explained well but my joke was about the money going in less coming out as I have seen at the local pubhouse.I was told by the barman that the modern gambling machines provided to him are set to make a certain amount of money (where a percent goes to him and then the provider '76% payout' and said something about "the house always wins" where they will always make money otherwise they wouldn't be there.Q: What is someone not asking themselves when they keep on topping up a fixed odd betting terminal only to keep on loosing?A: Are you playing it or is it playing you?

author: tom66
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 05, 2022, 06:04:18 pm
content: Quote from: SeanB on December 05, 2022, 08:38:33 amNo, because I swear man, I like, have a system. All I need to do is get 7 losses in a row then I'm guaranteed to have a win.... A friend of mine tried to convince me that the gambler's fallacy applied to the stock market, that based on a past decline trend one could essentially guarantee an increase the next week. Little did I know at the time, this is actually an entire field called technical analysis, and it is almost entirely bullshit.Oh, wait, this is a jokes thread.

author: NiHaoMike
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 06, 2022, 04:48:36 am
content: Quote from: niconiconi on November 28, 2022, 02:28:18 pmI forwarded that joke to a friend who is an accountant, she thought it was funny once I explained it to her.

author: TimFox
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 06, 2022, 05:38:23 pm
content: In the same vein, one of my engineer colleagues complained that Excel could not handle complex numbers directly.I explained that Excel was invented for accountants, and that they could be jailed for using imaginary numbers.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 08, 2022, 04:17:21 am
content: Q: What does an experimenter say when the laser build is successful?A: HeHeHe.Quote from: tom66 on December 05, 2022, 06:04:18 pmThe most "interesting" justification of technical analysis I've heard of is that since enough people already believe it, it may occasionally "work" as a self-fulfilling prophecy, it's said that Ichimoku charts only work in Japan because of that.

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 08, 2022, 07:16:20 am
content: Quote from: eti on December 03, 2022, 03:57:57 amEti ite.(That is colloquial Finnish for both "You go look for it yourself", as well as "Eti (being) themselves".)I don't know if this is a pun or a retort; it ain't a joke, though.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 10, 2022, 10:52:46 pm
content: Q: When singing in the rain in Tampa at dusk what will it be?A: Purple rainhttps://www.eevblog.com/forum/dodgy-technology/street-lights-turning-purple/

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 11, 2022, 07:01:33 am
content: Q: Why was the battery crying?A: Because it was feeling drained, run down and exhausted.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 11, 2022, 07:02:11 am
content: Q: Why did the computer keep sneezing, coughing and went to the Doctors?A: Because it had a virus.N.B. I've used some assistance, with some of these posts, today.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 11, 2022, 07:03:31 am
content: Q: Why do programmers, get mixed up between Halloween and Christmas?A: Because OCT 31 = DEC 25

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 11, 2022, 07:04:35 am
content: Q: What did the Electronics Engineer, say when his manager, approved of his new circuit, without any resistance to it?A: Ohm my gosh!

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 11, 2022, 07:05:17 am
content: Q: What did the bulb say to the smart and nice looking light switch?A: You turn me on.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 11, 2022, 07:39:36 am
content: Q: Why do atoms lie all the time?A: Because they make up everything!

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 11, 2022, 07:47:19 am
content: Q: When sitting at a computer in winter, how can you make the room warmer?A: Close all open windows.

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 11, 2022, 08:07:25 am
content: Quote from: MK14 on December 11, 2022, 07:47:19 amOpposite is true for my dinosaur of a rig.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 12, 2022, 10:26:10 pm
content: I once had a HP DL380 G5 before I moved and that took care of my heating arrangements where the window acted as an adjustable valve to let the heat out.Q: What would be the cowboy's preferred choice of network cable?A: CCA

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 13, 2022, 12:32:22 am
content: Quote from: MrMobodies on December 12, 2022, 10:26:10 pmI had a early core i7 with the stock cooler and a really terrible atx psu beside my feet. I noticed the difference one winter after I put the big noctua cooler on and a silent psu. No warm direct air flow anymore.Was quiet tho.

author: Berni
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 13, 2022, 06:11:14 am
content: This year Nvidia is making sure we are not going to be cold for the winter with there 4000 series GPUs pulling 600W TDP. Some of them even catch fire at the connector.

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 13, 2022, 06:45:16 am
content: Quote from: Berni on December 13, 2022, 06:11:14 amWhy burn a CD when you can burn the whole computer?

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 17, 2022, 10:40:23 pm
content: Q: What happened to the Berlin AquaDom aquarium?A: It took a downward spiral.

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 18, 2022, 08:02:36 am
content: Oh deer!

author: pcprogrammer
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 18, 2022, 09:36:54 am
content: It's the season to be choppy, lalalala lala la la

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 20, 2022, 04:42:40 pm
content: Q: What do you say when someone asks you a computational electrostatics problem but you're too impatient to reply?A: Ask your MoM.

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 20, 2022, 05:38:55 pm
content: Quote from: Ed.Kloonk on December 18, 2022, 08:02:36 amEspecially since the chopped up animal is a moose, not a deer. It's the antlers. All deer have spiky antlers, whereas moose have more spade- or spork-like antlers.It also looks like Santa had to do three passes, to get all three blades of the windmill damaged.I wonder what kind of sick and twisted moose-Santa murder-suicide pact this image depicts, considering moose don't fly. Were Rudolph and the other reindeer fed up with Santa's Christmas shenanigans –– working the poor reindeer nearly endlessly in some kind of anomalous time loop, with probably no treats at all –– and framed the scene as an accident?Then again, reindeer have approximately the same brain capacity as frogs, so maybe not.Then again again, there does seem to be one left behind on the background, to make sure the plot goes as planned. Maybe the flying magic also increased their brain capacity?Certainly intriguing scene.

author: pcprogrammer
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 20, 2022, 07:38:44 pm
content: Quote from: Nominal Animal on December 20, 2022, 05:38:55 pmThat is the first thing my wife was on about. It's a moose, and she did not get the joke behind it until she looked a bit longer and noticed Santa in the background

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 23, 2022, 04:34:53 am
content: Q: What do you say when lab technicians did a conducted electromagnetic interference test using an uncontrolled power supply and the results were all wrong?A: They were not LISNing to the instructions.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 23, 2022, 04:49:49 am
content: Q: An electronics engineer, was sentenced to be executed. The King, said "let's be lenient and let them choose their cause of death". The executioners, said "No way, an electronics engineer, may outsmart us here". So the King said "I'm KING, Electronics Engineer, by what method, do you want to die by?"A: Electronics engineer replied, "old age"

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 23, 2022, 10:41:31 am
content: Q: What is it when there are large queues at the car park and at the supermarket door and the entrance suddenly becomes overwhelmed.A: Too much inrush current.Q: Where did the gnomes go?A: Theygone home

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 26, 2022, 09:24:19 pm
content: Q: Which semiconductor company's chips require many PCB layers to use?A: VIA Technologies.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 28, 2022, 01:01:32 am
content: Q: Is it true, around 8 in 10 people, of the general population, don't understand how percentages work?A: Yes, so around 175% of the general population don't understand percentages.Q: Is it true that you have to understand mathematics, to become an electronics or software engineer?A: Yes. That is why there are three types of people in this world, those that can count (and may become engineers), and those that can't count.

author: The Soulman
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 28, 2022, 01:12:26 am
content: These jokes are all terrible!!So here is another one:Q: What is the name of a broken transistor?A: Transwasstor.

author: Sacodepatatas
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: December 28, 2022, 02:55:19 am
content: Q: Why an EE from Spain is browsing for the 28th of December in the calendar?A: He's looking up a cross reference for the April's fool day.Q: Why a photodiode doesn't like fat food?A: prefers to get light.Q: Why feminists are causing the microchips shortage?A: Because of the purple plague.Q: Why a broken screen is lying horizontally on the table while holding some dishes and glasses over it?A: Because it was OLED as tray.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 28, 2022, 03:27:14 am
content: Q: What is the difference, between a novice golf player, getting a hole in one, and one of the best multimeters, you can get?A: None, they are both Flukes.

author: Zeyneb
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: December 28, 2022, 03:52:28 am
content: Q: How to get a firm grasp of the concept of Bad?A: EEVBLOG - Bad Electronics Jokes

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 28, 2022, 05:43:10 am
content: Q: How do wise old plasmons teach eager new excitation modes?A: Electron, electroff.(I didn't know there was a level beyond dad jokes, btw.)

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 28, 2022, 10:35:09 am
content: Q: Why won't the noise cancelling headphonesworkproduce sound?A: Because it is noise cancelling.

author: Sacodepatatas
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: December 28, 2022, 11:04:34 am
content: Quote from: Zeyneb on December 28, 2022, 03:52:28 am

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 28, 2022, 11:19:04 am
content: Q: What do cats become attuned to?A: TunaI remember this one I liked of the paperclip 20 years ago which I just found again see attachment.

author: Vincent
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: December 29, 2022, 04:15:50 am
content: Improvised joke FTW:It's the story of that guy who kept throwing alkaline cells at people. He's been charged with battery.

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 29, 2022, 04:19:51 am
content: Quote from: Vincent on December 29, 2022, 04:15:50 amThe victims involved saw both positives and negatives.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 29, 2022, 05:37:00 am
content: I like the charged joke and thought of this one:Q: What is it when you are charged with battery?A: You charged at them.Q: What is Costa missing after the name where you work out the rest?A: Costafortune(Costa coffee where you work out the rest for the expensive coffee.)

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: January 10, 2023, 06:15:32 pm
content: Q: What do you say when a power supply has the lowest noise in the industry but there are production difficulties?A: It has a high Power Supply Rejection Ratio.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 10, 2023, 06:32:39 pm
content: Q: What's the most common, mental illness, amongst transistors?A: Bipolar disorderQ: What's the favorite game played by transistors?A: Base ballQ: Which transistor, has Schizophrenia, and thinks it is a diode?A: Any made by Diodes inc

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 11, 2023, 02:44:16 pm
content: Q: What is that pc game over 20 years ago that hints in the title about putting spears in people's heads.A: Medal of Honor: Allied Assault: SpearheadQ: What can a patient with alzheimer's try and do to help remember things?A: Page file.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: January 11, 2023, 09:42:23 pm
content: Q: What do you call a large public event for RF/microwave engineers?A: A "field" day.

author: Vincent
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: January 19, 2023, 03:48:38 am
content: Anybody know a place still selling Nuvistors? I need to change some of my Oldvistors...

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 19, 2023, 05:00:39 am
content: Q: Where did the LED lead the lead leads?A: Cûk if I know.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: January 20, 2023, 07:16:48 am
content: Q: A young student asks how can a CPU be built from individual transistors, what did the computer technician answer?A: "Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: January 29, 2023, 03:55:30 am
content: Q: What do you say when a newbie tries to simulate electromagnetic waves, but they keep bouncing around at the edge of the model?A: The solution is as easy as ABC.

author: NiHaoMike
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 29, 2023, 04:39:58 am
content: Quote from: MK14 on January 10, 2023, 06:32:39 pmGoing bipolar is indeed a common cause of suicide for CMOS chips.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 29, 2023, 05:36:19 pm
content: Q: What do you do to a noisy kid?A: You ground them.

author: Ed.Kloonk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 29, 2023, 08:10:49 pm
content: Quote from: MrMobodies on January 29, 2023, 05:36:19 pmOr if very noisy, earth them!

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 31, 2023, 03:43:57 am
content: Q: Why can't noisy low flying jets and planes be grounded?And yobs and noisy out of control pubs and nightclubs?A: They're not down to earth.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 15, 2023, 03:58:55 am
content: Q: Why would anybody want a "smart" thing.A: Because they are downright stupid and can't think for themselves on what they want that they need something to decide for them.(According to the manufacturer)

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 15, 2023, 04:06:12 am
content: Q: Why would anybody want a "smart" thing? Why do companies insist of adding "smart" everywhere?A:S&M. People pay a lot for that.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 15, 2023, 05:48:04 am
content: Q: What is the best thing that can happen to a flat earther?A: Them lying in a grave in the ground to keep them flat.

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 15, 2023, 06:52:10 am
content: Quote from: MrMobodies on February 15, 2023, 05:48:04 amDon't forget: The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 15, 2023, 07:03:56 am
content: If pizza's are flat I wonder what flat earthers will have to say about the Leaning Tower of Pisa?

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 15, 2023, 08:03:26 am
content: (All jokes aside, it's not silly beliefs per se that are so annoying, it is thetruthinessof their conviction.)Q: Why are charge carriers never out of date?A: They're always current.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 15, 2023, 02:42:51 pm
content: Q: What don't flat eathers get?A: The whole picture.(of the globe)Q: What did the manager do before changing the firmware?A: Fired the firm.

author: armandine2
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: February 16, 2023, 03:54:35 pm
content: and intellectual property sorted

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 17, 2023, 05:36:55 am
content: Q: What happens when someone is in debt?A: They send out the poltergeists to reposes their home and change the locks. After that they send out the practitioner to find out what this demon wants and how to pay back the debt owed to it.Q: Why are resistors safe near trannies?A: They resist their advances.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 18, 2023, 09:47:06 pm
content: Q: What happens to bridges now and again?A: They get rectified.(Bridges for vehicles.)

author: Sacodepatatas
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: February 20, 2023, 01:31:59 am
content: Q? What does the full time employee do when the work hours come to end?A: He goes home with his wife.Q? What does the CEO do then after the work day?A: He calls his wife by phone, tells her that he'll be delayed because of ending work, then goes to spend the night with his paramour.Q? What does the EE do when everybody in facility have gone?A: He calls his paramour for telling her that he'll spend the night with his wife. After that he phones wife and tells her that night is gaming night with friends. So then he can stay in the lab for testing the new version of his project.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 27, 2023, 04:39:11 am
content: Q: In the audiofoolery industry what is suggested that directional audio cables have in them?A: Diodes

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 10, 2023, 06:29:14 pm
content: Q: How does an RF engineer find the input impedance of an amplifier?A: Taking a moment of reflection.Q: How does a power electronics engineer solve a MOSFET switching transient problem due to long cables?A: Through inductive reasoning.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 15, 2023, 03:30:35 am
content: Q: Why did the authorities arrest an RF engineer?A: For violating Kirchhoff's laws.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 15, 2023, 03:36:50 am
content: Q: What does Stephen Wolfram do to ensure high code quality in Mathematica?A: Continuous Integration.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 15, 2023, 04:26:34 am
content: Q: What do you call a supercomputer simulation of an atomic bomb's detonation?A: A nuclear BLASt.

author: Kim Christensen
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 15, 2023, 05:22:16 am
content: Q: What do you call a transistor rummaging through your garbage?A: Common collector.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 15, 2023, 10:15:10 am
content: Q: If a small hobby railway model train bridge is broken and you patch it up with spare through hole diodes, what is it called?A: A bridge rectifier

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 15, 2023, 11:40:13 am
content: Q: What do you call a bad CD album full of hums and noise?A: EMI Records.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 15, 2023, 01:17:01 pm
content: Joke: niconiconi, don't forget heavy metal too, you know where they yell and scream down the microphone and make a lot of horrid noises in the background.Q: Why do you have to be careful with Electroboom?A: He is a dead short.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 20, 2023, 04:23:15 am
content: Q: What do you say when the impedance of a line becomes lower than expected when there's an anti-phase signal nearby?A: That's odd.

author: SiliconWizard
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 20, 2023, 05:17:14 am
content: Quote from: Sacodepatatas on February 20, 2023, 01:31:59 am

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 16, 2023, 04:50:36 am
content: Q: Do you like scary things such as scare ware?A: Well I'll send you a copy of Winfixer.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 16, 2023, 05:36:08 am
content: Q: What's wrong with cashless electronic shopping tills or parking meter systems, that rely on your mobile phone, as the only way to pay?A: Nothing.That can't be fixed by injecting, 10,000,000,000 volts into it, at mega high currents, to send that equipment, where it deserves. Cash and credit cards etc, if it ain't broke, why fix it.

author: DC1MC
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 16, 2023, 06:35:24 am
content: In this situation I will try one as well:Q: How do open an electronic lock when the encryption fails ?A: You talk to it, communication is the key.

author: strawberry
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 16, 2023, 11:07:11 am
content: why A class amplifiers are so popular? because they are hot.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 19, 2023, 12:28:48 am
content: Quote from: DC1MC on April 16, 2023, 06:35:24 amIf you can'ttalkto it there is another option too and its calledtorque... when you are trying to smash or claw it open.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 25, 2023, 05:45:24 pm
content: Q: What do you call a logic chip with extremely short signal rise time?A: It's leading-edge technology.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 25, 2023, 06:10:53 pm
content: Q: What do you call a logic chip with extremely sharp signals?A: Bleeding-edge technology.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 26, 2023, 02:25:21 pm
content: Here are some more, generated using ChatGPT.Q: What did the digital clock say to its mother?A: "Look, Ma! No hands!"Q: Why was the math book always unhappy?A: It had too many problems, and they just kept multiplyingQ: Why do programmers prefer dark mode?A: Because the light attracts bugs!Q: Why did the programmer quit his job?A: Because he didn't get arrays!Q: What did the Wi-Fi router say to the modem?A: "Don't worry, I got this connection under CTRL!"Q: How did the web developer hurt their back?A: They strained it while carrying all their cache!Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist?A: It had Bluetooth!Q: What's a computer's favorite kind of music?A: Disk-o!Q: What do you call a computer superhero?A: CAPES (Computerized Algorithmic Protector of Electronic Systems)!Q: What do you call a resistor with no resistance?A: Useless!Q: How do transistors communicate?A: They use their transistor radios!

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 26, 2023, 11:01:37 pm
content: Q: An SDRAM, SSD, CPU and Tesla Coil, were arguing amongst themselves, as to which was the most powerful. The SDRAM said it could store information and give very quick access to it. The SSD said, no, no, I can store way, way more information than that. The CPU said, it doesn't matter, as I can calculate massive amounts of information, on the fly.A: The Tesla Coil said nothing, then built up 10 million volts and zapped the other components, into a vapour cloud, then said "I win".

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 24, 2023, 10:06:10 pm
content: Because of my lasy eye, I have coherent vision.

author: SiliconWizard
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 24, 2023, 10:10:48 pm
content: QuoteGood one. It may even be the true reason.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 24, 2023, 10:20:31 pm
content: Q: Before University, you couldn't even spell physicist, so now you've graduated, how are things?A: Great, now I is a physicist.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 25, 2023, 08:26:30 am
content: Joke removed.Sorry about that for making the joke.I am obviously lacking in judgement and good taste.

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 25, 2023, 09:42:49 am
content: QuoteWell, the Titanic is only at 3800 metres, where the pressure is only 370 bar, which is just a little more than the 130 bar at 1300 metres, right? Right? Oh. Oopsie!

author: ebastler
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 25, 2023, 11:29:20 am
content: Quote from: MK14 on May 26, 2023, 02:25:21 pmI am kind of reassured that Google finds these jokes on web pages dating from 2017 or 2019, i.e. predating ChatGPT. So ChatGPT did not make these up, but learned them during its web-crawling training.If ChatGPT had come up with these jokes on its own, I would be quite impressed but also slightly scared. Both require lateral thinking, and the second one also the association of words by sound which are spelled very differently. Not a feat I would expect an AI to be good at so far.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 25, 2023, 11:04:42 pm
content: Quote from: ebastler on June 25, 2023, 11:29:20 amWell here is my attempt at getting ChatGPT to make genuine (i.e. NOT already existing) jokes, where ChatGPT is the real author. I used words and your 'name' from that post, to try and make it a genuine challenge.ChatGPT Prompt:QuoteChatGPT Results:QuoteThen I twisted things around, with a continuation of same thing, my updated second prompt:QuoteChatGPT's Second response (technically it was later than that, as I made a mistake, earlier):QuoteFinal try, Prompt:QuoteChatGPT's Response:Quote

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 28, 2023, 03:00:34 pm
content: Joke removed.Sorry about that for making the joke.I am obviously lacking in judgement and good taste.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 28, 2023, 03:19:46 pm
content: Q: Who in this thread, is making the most inappropriate jokes, where sadly, people lost their lives?A: MK14, because even worse than that is to copy huge amounts of ChatGPT stuff, into this thread.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 28, 2023, 04:09:03 pm
content: Q: If soldering up circuits, with things like wires, capacitors and resistors. Which circuit is the quickest to solder up?A: An open circuit

author: SiliconWizard
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 28, 2023, 11:06:40 pm
content: Quote from: Nominal Animal on June 25, 2023, 09:42:49 am1300 m ought to be enough for anybody.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: June 29, 2023, 01:20:40 am
content: Quote from: SiliconWizard on June 28, 2023, 11:06:40 pmThey were willing to pay for apottyonboard near to the porthole but discouraged the passengers from using it advising them to restrict their diet before the trip.Q: What could jump off the pcb when it is subjected to vibration tests.A: Jumpers.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 27, 2023, 05:22:49 pm
content: Q: What would happen when an engineering professor teaches bad designs in a lecture on power supply units?A: High drop-out.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: September 27, 2023, 05:51:45 pm
content: Q: What did the investigators find after a software failure caused a self-driving car accident?A: A crashed driver.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 27, 2023, 06:49:17 pm
content: Q: Where do Bridge Rectifiers, keep all their cash?A: In Big Capacitor Banks.Q: How many batteries does it take, to make a cow?A: None, as they can only be used to make (battery) hens.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 07, 2023, 10:52:55 pm
content: Q: What do you say when you need to do metrology-grade RF power measurements but there's only a crude industrial-grade meter in the lab?A: It's for the Birds.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 13, 2023, 07:27:46 pm
content: Q: Why don't cheap low-end microcontrollers support a flat memory address space?A: Market segmentation.

author: eutectique
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 16, 2023, 10:43:59 pm
content: ‒ Do you have four-volt two-watt light bulbs?‒ For what?‒ No, two.‒ To what?‒ Yes.‒ No.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 29, 2023, 11:23:05 pm
content: From a discussion in the Eevblog IRC about an overload relay for a contactor.Q: Why wasn't one wired in to the HS2 project.A: <coppice> HS2 = High Spending 2, the sequel

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 12, 2023, 07:29:13 pm
content: Q: What do you say when Hammerstad & Jensen's microstrip formula underestimates signal losses due to surface roughness at high frequencies?A: "It's only a rough approximation."

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 14, 2023, 09:59:51 pm
content: Q: Why does a Web-browsing PC eventually arc over and blow up in an electrical breakdown after a few years?A: Too much tracking.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 15, 2023, 06:55:25 pm
content: Q: What do you call a technical expert on circuit board gold plating?A: ENIGneerQ: Why does a circuit board factory make bare copper boards without tin plating?A: It's too much of a HASL.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 28, 2023, 12:04:01 am
content: A: What when they try to sell you Meanwell power supply knock off's?A: They don't Mean well.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 06, 2024, 11:41:50 pm
content: Q:What happened to a Chinese group at St Pancras station when Christina Lee Turned up?A: She controlled them at a firmware level.Proprietary to the CCP.Joke in reference to a clash between a pianist, Brendan Kavanagh and the Chinese over a piano John Elton donated to St Prancras tube station in London.It was pointed out in some followup videos that when Christine Lee turned up the group went from being very nice and friendly to very aggressive and nasty when Brendan refused to removed/edit them from his livestream saying it was public space in a free country and it isn't not China etc.youtube.com/watch?v=65iwnI2hjAARemoved https:// as I don't want video to auto play here.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: February 25, 2024, 10:44:37 am
content: Q: What do you say when electronics engineers apply Laplace transform so they can do algebra instead of calculus?A: It's a heavy side-step.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: February 26, 2024, 09:58:51 am
content: "If a power supply filter has a high quality factor, it means the filter is of low quality."

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: March 15, 2024, 08:27:22 am
content: Q: Why is it easier to measure a circuit in time domain?A: It's not complex and there's only one step.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: April 01, 2024, 08:39:24 am
content: Q: What's the difference between an authentic Li-ion battery and a counterfeit one?A: For the former, the battery gets charged. For the latter, the seller gets charged.

author: NiHaoMike
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 02, 2024, 03:12:19 am
content: Quote from: niconiconi on February 26, 2024, 09:58:51 amHad that problem a few times at work, needed a choke in series with the power supply to reduce the measurement noise, all they had were good quality toroids. My fix was to put a piece of scrap wire through the toroid and twist the ends together to make a shorted turn...Quote from: niconiconi on April 01, 2024, 08:39:24 amIf only that's how it worked, most counterfeit sellers just operate from countries that don't enforce it well.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 28, 2024, 02:12:36 am
content: Q: Does anyone want a pile of dead batteries, I'veaccumulated?A: If you do, you can have them, free ofcharge

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: April 28, 2024, 03:10:02 am
content: No thanks, I've got enough trouble with my own piles.

author: rogerggbr
author_rank: Contributor
timestamp: June 06, 2024, 08:58:58 am
content: Fault with AC/DC concert tickets cannot be rectified

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: July 05, 2024, 09:09:37 am
content: Q: Why does a football player always get the same score for a goal regardless of the path a football took to get there?A: Because the football field has a vanishing curl.

author: Infraviolet
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: July 05, 2024, 10:12:12 pm
content: There were plenty of cities in the soviet union called *grad, as most were within river valleys, how was their div though?

author: 44kgk1lkf6u
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: July 07, 2024, 09:14:23 pm
content: Reading all these jokes about bipolar transistors reminded me of an old esaeP's fable:Quote

author: SiliconWizard
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: July 08, 2024, 12:16:21 am
content: Quote from: eutectique on November 16, 2023, 10:43:59 pmYou should try it with ChatGPT.

author: RoGeorge
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 03, 2024, 11:12:55 am
content: - How do you call the guards at a SAMSUNG store?- Guardians of the Galaxy.

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 03, 2024, 11:44:07 am
content: - Why are the guards at the laptop/tablet section of the Samsung store always unhappy?- They are Guardians of the Galaxy Tab.

author: The Soulman
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: September 03, 2024, 10:36:00 pm
content: I'll leave this here:Analyzing My Jokes | Don McMillan

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: October 15, 2024, 04:53:31 am
content: Q: What kind of engineers do you need to design a high-impedance oscilloscope probe?A: 10x engineers.

author: SteveThackery
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 15, 2024, 09:08:55 am
content: Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says to the other, "You're looking a bit miserable. Are you OK?""No, not really; I've lost my electron.""Wow! Are you sure?""Yep, I'm positive."

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 15, 2024, 03:51:26 pm
content: A guard says to an inmate on death row, today as you sit down we are going to make those little electron's cute to you.Someone throw's a battery at a policeman and then gets charged with battery.Q: How did Bob Marley Respond to Lesley Gore "It's my Party"?A: No woman no cry.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 17, 2024, 04:44:00 am
content: Q: Which fuse never lights up.A: A plug fusecompared to an explosive fuse.Q: What happened with the previous UK government.A: They sacked Pretty Patel, who was replaced with a braver man (Braverman). She was so brave she got sacked for defiance and now we have Badenoch.From Pretty, to Brave to Bad.Q: What does AC have in common to light switches?A: They both switch in either direction.Q: When are video mixers/feedback/screen art not needed?A: At raves and especially illegal ones.It doesn't matter as they hallucinate anyway after taking the drugs and the gas from the balloons.

author: metrologist
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 17, 2024, 12:02:36 pm
content: It's a shame nothing is built in the USA anymore.I just bought a new TV and it said, Built in Antenna.I don't even know where that is...

author: MC Divit
author_rank: Newbie
timestamp: October 17, 2024, 12:33:13 pm
content: This is a good one:'Q: What do you say when a microcontroller dies?A: /RST in peace.'

author: themadhippy
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 17, 2024, 12:39:22 pm
content: QuoteObviously written by someone whos never worked on,or even been to a rave ,legal or not.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 17, 2024, 12:44:10 pm
content: Q: What do you say when a microcontroller dies?A: My Silicon Microcontroller, needs a newdie.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 17, 2024, 12:59:07 pm
content: Quote from: themadhippy on October 17, 2024, 12:39:22 pmNo, I spoke to someone who actually did an he was a drug addict at the time which is why I made the joke where he said he use to hallucinate. He use to setup illegal raves and he was showing me this video of these little cabins they sit behind and the crowd looked drunk, disorderly and out of their senses. They had these balloons they tie up in his video near the cabin and he said to me they bite into it to breathe in the gas and then they get in front of the speaker to feel their bones move. He hold me it was called drum and bass and whilst the speakers look massive they just had smaller ones in there. I remember he said to me he does everything in mono a mix and he showed me these three 1u rack mounted things he uses where he adjusts the frequency between three 1kw? amplifiers.On one video he showed me the police turned up and all they did was just stand at the back of the field, watch and that's it.Q: Which has no capacity.A: Bad capacitor.

author: TimFox
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 17, 2024, 01:41:05 pm
content: From exported British television crime shows, we all know that illegal raves always feature a murder.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: October 20, 2024, 01:41:38 am
content: Q: What do you call a scandal in which a chipmaker shipped a batch of defective 7400-series chips to customers and tried covering it up?A: Logic Gate.

author: RoGeorge
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: October 25, 2024, 08:35:25 am
content: If "#!" is called a shebang, how do you call this typo: "!#"?

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 22, 2024, 01:49:19 am
content: Cowboy plumbers don't go by U valuesthey go by lowest cost values.

author: Analog Kid
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 22, 2024, 03:31:48 am
content: OK, these jokes are gettingreallybad. Like Dad-joke bad.A neutron walks into a bar, orders a drink.Bartender brings him the drink.Neutron says, "How much?"Bartener says, "For you, no charge."[bada-BOOMP]

author: Analog Kid
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 22, 2024, 03:36:44 am
content: Continuing:A proton walks into a bar and orders a drink.Bartender asks, "So, you're a proton, eh?"Proton answers: "Yep."Bartender: "Are you sure?"Proton: "Yeah, I'm positive."A neutrino walks into a bar.Bartender asks him, "What'll you have to drink?"Neutrino says, "Oh, nothing, I'm just passing through."

author: xrunner
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 22, 2024, 03:43:38 am
content: Continuing:An electron walks into a bar and orders a drink.Bartender asks, "So, you're an electron, eh?"Electron answers: "Yep."Bartender: "Do you like the place?"Electron: "No! There's no pinball machines."Bartender: "Don't be so negative!"

author: Analog Kid
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 22, 2024, 06:53:35 am
content: OK, I just copied this off somewhere else on the intertubes:A Higgs Boson walked into a Catholic Church. The priest said, “Sorry, no Higgs Bosons allowed.” The boson asked, “But without me, how can you have Mass?”

author: Analog Kid
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 22, 2024, 07:30:47 am
content: Quote from: TimFox on October 18, 2022, 09:20:07 pmSeen in the men's room in the engineering bldg. where I went to college:

author: tigrr
author_rank: Contributor
timestamp: November 30, 2024, 09:20:16 pm
content: Advertisement Spot Welder 5000W - use on PCB with SMD components

author: Kim Christensen
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 01, 2024, 03:55:40 am
content: Quote from: tigrr on November 30, 2024, 09:20:16 pmThe sparks are a nice touch!That's a good one for another thread:https://www.eevblog.com/forum/chat/stock-electronic-image-fails

author: tigrr
author_rank: Contributor
timestamp: December 03, 2024, 09:30:11 pm
content: Quote from: Kim Christensen on December 01, 2024, 03:55:40 amI agree, thank you!

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 07, 2024, 11:04:28 pm
content: Q: What do you call a power electronics professor with expertise in switching transistors?A: DrMOS.

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 10, 2024, 03:13:59 am
content: No, but my resistance to Emma Stone would be zero ohms.Because I like her work, you sexist clod.

author: metrologist
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 10, 2024, 03:48:47 am
content: Quote from: Nominal Animal on December 10, 2024, 03:13:59 amIn other words, you'd be a jumpher

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 10, 2024, 03:58:38 am
content: Quote from: metrologist on December 10, 2024, 03:48:47 amUsjumpersare utterly passive.

author: metrologist
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 10, 2024, 03:21:28 pm
content: Quote from: Nominal Animal on December 10, 2024, 03:58:38 am

author: tigrr
author_rank: Contributor
timestamp: December 12, 2024, 11:49:29 pm
content: All you need is love!

author: coppice
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: December 14, 2024, 06:07:09 pm
content: I suspect the resistance of an Emma Stone depends of the observer.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: December 19, 2024, 08:30:50 pm
content: Quote from: NiHaoMike on December 14, 2024, 05:39:11 pm"Gendered" connectors are a scam by Big Radio to sell more adapters and VNA calibration kits. Reject BNC & SMA modernity, embrace GR-874 & APC-7 tradition. Nothing is worse than doing a SOLT calibration and finding that your DUT is non-insertable. We don't need no Port Extension!

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: January 02, 2025, 09:06:09 pm
content: Some RF engineers, when confronted with a problem, think, "I know, I'll use a mixer." Now their problem multiplies.Some RF engineers, when confronted with a problem, think, "I know, I'll use I/Q modulation." Now their problem runs in circles.Some 8-bit CPU architects, when confronted with a chip design problem, think "I know, I’ll use the zero page as registers." Now their problems accumulate.Some digital design engineers, when confronted with a synchronization problem, think "I know, I’ll use a single flip-flop." Now they have 0.5 problems.Some telecommunication engineers, when confronted with a distortion problem, think "I know, I’ll use equalization." Now their problem is emphasized.Some physicists, when confronted with a resistance problem, think "I know, I’ll use superconductors." Now they have absolutely zero problems.Some semiconductor engineers, when confronted with a packaging problem, think "I know, I’ll use Land Grid Array." Now they have 1155 problems and they don't have the balls to solve them.Some computer architects, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I’ll use a superscalar processor." Now they have multiple issues.Some SIMD programmers, when confronted with a branching problem, think "I know, I’ll use branch predication." Now their problems are masked.Some chip designers, when confronted with an SRAM density problem, think "I know, I’ll use dynamic logic circuits." Now they no longer remember their problem.Some analog IC engineers, when confronted with a voltage calibration problem, think "I know, I’ll use a Zener reference." Now they have buried the solution.Some RF engineers, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I’ll use spread spectrum." Now their solution is below the noise floor.Some RF engineers, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I’ll use frequency hopping." Now their problem is a moving target.Some DSP engineers, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I’ll use FFT." Now they have an imaginary solution to the complex problem.Some microwave engineers, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I’ll use waveguides." Now they have Problem10, Problem01, Problem11, Problem20, Problem21...Some computer science students, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use discrete mathematics." Now they have to choose k problems from n problems.Some C++ programmers, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll use templates." Now they have many different types of problems.Some digital design engineers, when confronted with a problem, think “I know, I’ll use a parallel interface.” Now they have a Problem[7:0] and a ProblemAddr[15:0].Some HPC programmers, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I’ll use AVX." Now they have 16 problems.Some graphics programmers, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I’ll use GPU computing." Now they have 16 Problem Units with 1024 Problem Cores.Some software developers, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I’ll use Design Patterns." Now they have an Abstract Problem Factory.Some students, when confronted with a problem, think "I know, I'll read a textbook." Now they have a problem left as an exercise for the readers.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: January 02, 2025, 09:49:16 pm
content: Q: What tools do US Army Signal Corps technicians use to fix broken radios in the battlefield?A: Soldiering irons.

author: MK14
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 02, 2025, 10:52:32 pm
content: Q: How many cats does it take, to make a radio?A: None, just their whiskers.

author: 44kgk1lkf6u
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: January 03, 2025, 03:21:03 am
content: You forgot this one.Some DSP engineers, when confronted with a noisy problem, think "I know, I’ll use an FIR filter." Now they have a convoluted problem.

author: schmitt trigger
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 03, 2025, 04:39:04 am
content: Definitely need to tag this thread, is beyond hilarious.

author: coppice
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 03, 2025, 12:14:25 pm
content: Quote from: niconiconi on January 02, 2025, 09:06:09 pmBookshops have lots of books on improving fitness, but they all leave the key stuff as "an exercise for the reader".

author: Nominal Animal
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: January 26, 2025, 08:54:34 pm
content: It's not exactly electronics, but I keep wondering about this.Is it kink-shaming to comment on font designer's ligatures?

author: rogerggbr
author_rank: Contributor
timestamp: February 19, 2025, 03:53:41 pm
content: In the UK we have a politician tasked with Energy Security and net zero called Ed Milliband. I have seen elsewhere that due to a perception by some of his low powered thinking, he has been called (maybe a little unkindly) Ed milliwatt. I couldn't help thinking he should be therefore known as Ed 0dBm, and this forum is the only place I know where that will be appreciated.(p.s. he represents a constituency up here in the north of England (Yorkshire) so I am sure he can take a joke).

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 19, 2025, 07:26:31 pm
content: I have this suspicion that the Department of Net Zero (DESNZ) may one day be another form of collecting taxes using any excuse they can based on the efficiency of appliances or consumer usage.Here's a joke.A housing developer tasks a team of engineers to design and build a block of luxury houses and to come up with a name for the development so they named it after themselves, plan to build them using brick, concrete upper floors, copper pipes, and expensive tiles and a standard central heating and so on.The director comes in and starts cheapening everything like replacing the brick and concrete floors with timber, copper pipes with microbore plastic pipes and puts in a cheap under powered combi boiler and hardly any soundproofing.The team complains that this not what we designed and so much had been change why don't we change the name to:"The directors cut".Reference (In films 'director cut' and in this case cutting corners)

author: coppercone2
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 19, 2025, 11:57:46 pm
content: that is true the world would be a better place with higher APC-7 production

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: February 28, 2025, 09:08:16 pm
content: Q: How does a digital signal processing engineer change a lightbulb?A: Using the R2R ladder.Q: How does an RF/microwave engineer change a lightbulb?A: Using the infinite ladder.Q: How does an elliptic-curve cryptographer change a lightbulb?A: Using the Montgomery ladder.

author: coppice
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: February 28, 2025, 09:24:25 pm
content: Q: How does a repairer reach a high tension light bulb?A: They use a Jacob's ladder

author: coppercone2
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: March 01, 2025, 01:59:29 am
content: I finally found out what murphy looks like (and yes, he is out to whack your projects)

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: April 21, 2025, 02:31:06 am
content: Q: How would people react if Oersted's experimental discovery of the magnetic field of a current-carrying wire was only made today?A: With many thumbs-up.

author: BadeBhaiya
author_rank: Regular Contributor
timestamp: April 21, 2025, 09:03:16 am
content: I identify as a transistor and i stand for IGBT rightsplease do not ban me

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: April 21, 2025, 06:36:22 pm
content: Q: What kind of electromagnetic waves is used to detect fighter jets in the air by radars?A: Plane waves.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: April 29, 2025, 06:50:14 am
content: Q: Why do engineers analyze a circuit using Fourier and Laplace transforms?A: You can solve it in no time.

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 02, 2025, 04:24:13 am
content: Q: How do RF/microwave metrologists travel for a business trip?A: Taking a beadless airline.

author: MrMobodies
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 02, 2025, 02:52:49 pm
content: Talking of airlines.Q: Which airline has poor regulation and very little room for error and fault tolerance?A: Ryanair.https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4917764/Ryanair-passengers-sit-80F-heat-save-money.htmlhttps://www.thesun.co.uk/news/23136700/ryanair-passengers-fainting-panic-attacks-trapped-no-air-conhttps://www.express.co.uk/news/world/2014359/tui-flight-run-out-fuelAccording to Wikipedia article they were investigated about inadequate fuel reserves at one time.

author: tunk
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 02, 2025, 03:06:56 pm
content: Fnirsi has recently released a scope called DPOS350P.DPOS, hmm ..., does that mean "Digital Piece Of S***"?

author: u666sa
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: May 04, 2025, 10:30:37 pm
content: How to get 440 volts out european and also australian outlets

author: Analog Kid
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: May 04, 2025, 10:36:29 pm
content: Quote from: MrMobodies on May 02, 2025, 02:52:49 pmHow is that by any stretch of the imagination a joke???

author: niconiconi
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: July 05, 2025, 09:34:14 pm
content: "The network analyzer knows what the impedance is at all times. It knows this because it knows what the impedance isn't. By comparing what the reflection is from what the reflection isn't, it obtains a vector on the Smith chart, or reflection coefficient. In the event that the vector that it is at on the Smith chart is not the position that the impedance wasn't, the system has acquired a systematic error, the error box being the difference between what the reflection is, and what it wasn't. If systematic error is considered to be a significant factor, it too may be corrected by SOLT. However, the network analyzer must also know what the impedance was. The calibration scenario works as follows. Because an error box has modified the magnitude and phase angle the analyzer have obtained, it is not sure just what it is. However, it is sure what it isn't, within reason, and it knows what it was from the definition of the SOLT calibration kit. It now solves a system of linear equations of what it should be from what it wasn't, it is able to obtain the error box and its inverse, which is called de-embedding."