My xmas list - Page 1
Forum section: electronics / general

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 14, 2015, 09:42:25 pm
content: Would I get slapped to death if I posted my xmas list this week. I mean you all love me don't you and it is xmas soon and I am poor. Tautech might send me a nice bit ofStinklentSnigbentsiglent kit for being so nice to him and I just know that some of you rich people would love to send me such as a marconi 2955B , or even a incey wincey HP spectrum analyzer , maybe even some nice silky silicone dmm leads or how about a set of Kelvin leads as I need all of these.What do you mean go get stuffed, fine , oh I kicked your cat on the way out you tight sod.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 14, 2015, 09:44:16 pm
content: Oh and just to add the cherry, i hate you all for being mean to me.

author: steve30
author_rank: Frequent Contributor
timestamp: November 14, 2015, 10:09:37 pm
content: Have you posted your list to Santa? Maybe he'll bring you some goodies.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 14, 2015, 10:12:52 pm
content: Quote from: steve30 on November 14, 2015, 10:09:37 pmThat fat white haired miserable old git !, hell he stole my milk n cookies last year and the year before and never left me anything either, ever !. I went n kicked Rudolph in the nuts for revenge and thumped him on the nose.Just for fun this year I am going to mess with his GPS system too.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 14, 2015, 10:21:39 pm
content: I hope you all realise that old fat git uses sweat shop labour in China and then has it shipped to the North Pole to be relabeled.He wants you all to think he is such a nice guy but I aint fooled. I saw him last year riding around in his sleigh doing wheelies, drinking out of your drink cabinets and ho ho ho'ing about, the old womanizing Lush.

author: nctnico
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 14, 2015, 10:53:19 pm
content: How about putting reindeer on the Christmas menu?I already had that once in Finland but it wasn't cooked very well (unfortunately there was really no way to avoid the hotel's restaurant).

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 14, 2015, 10:58:25 pm
content: Quote from: nctnico on November 14, 2015, 10:53:19 pmSounds like a good plan. Im also going to mess with his ILS system , im gonna make ground zero 500 feet lower than it is, then I am going to sit on my roof and watch the old fart come screaming in at mach 1 and try side slipping onto a roof. He is toast....

author: tautech
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 14, 2015, 11:24:34 pm
content: Be patient Garry, Siglent have some new goodies that may tempt you and to be released just in time for Xmas.Shhh don't tell anyone.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 14, 2015, 11:28:40 pm
content: Quote from: tautech on November 14, 2015, 11:24:34 pmUnless they went into SAM missile control recently I doubt they will satisfy my Xmas wishes..I am on the hunt for a decent frequency counter though. Something more accurate than the Chinese one I have.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 14, 2015, 11:36:14 pm
content: actually I watch him every year on that NORAD santa tracker, problem is even they wont let me have fun, i keep looking for the "fire" button on their site to knock him down but they keep hiding it from me.

author: tautech
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 04:39:34 am
content: Quote from: Deathwish on November 14, 2015, 11:28:40 pmGarry, your Siglent AWG can be used as a counter, P70 in the Manual:SDG1000 Series have included a frequency counter which could measure frequency from 100mHz to 200MHz

author: Ian.M
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 05:13:08 am
content: Dont mess with Santa!

author: crispy_tofu
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 05:50:15 am
content: b...but it's still November...

author: tautech
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 06:44:18 am
content: Quote from: Deathwish on November 14, 2015, 09:42:25 pmGarry I had a look around to see what I could find from Siglent for you but I could only find this:Yeah I know it's a bit early.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 08:06:03 am
content: I don't care, he's a old perv, I mean why else would he be wearing a red coat with fur on the cuffs etc , my gran used to wear such coats way back, so he is either a perv or has a gender identity crisis. If I get my hands on him I am gonna wire his nuts up to a variac and make him sing soprano.

author: AndyC_772
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 08:36:21 am
content: Is Santa an authorised Siglent dealer?Does he have to stick to RRP as well?

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 08:55:04 am
content: Quote from: AndyC_772 on November 15, 2015, 08:36:21 amWould explain a few things ..........

author: bingo600
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 09:00:53 am
content: Quote from: AndyC_772 on November 15, 2015, 08:36:21 amI hope notHe'll just get lots of my wishes removed from *bay/Bingo

author: SeanB
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 09:03:53 am
content: That red suit he wears is not exactly good down south of the equator, or around it either. Gets mighty hot inside, and I doubt he is going to stay inside a walk in freezer all the time.

author: Ian.M
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 09:06:36 am
content: It might explain a few things if Siglent are redeploying 'Genuine Finnish Santas' to monitor the grey market trade outside of the festive season.

author: TheAmmoniacal
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 09:10:53 am
content: Are we posting xmas wish lists?1. Lumia 9502. 3D Printer3. Computational Chemistry: Introduction to the Theory and Applications of Molecular and Quantum Mechanicsby Errol G. Lewars4. Molecular Modelling: Computational Chemistry Demystifiedby Peter Bladon, John Gorton

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 09:17:05 am
content: Quote from: bingo600 on November 15, 2015, 09:00:53 amlook at it semi logically , Siglent is a Chinese company, they think "red" is a lucky colour, santa wears a Red suit. looking good from here....

author: German_EE
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 09:33:33 am
content: Originally Santa wore a green suit but some time ago a multi-national soft drinks company ran some advertising with him wearing red (to match the company colors). Unfortunately the idea stuck and, ever since, Santa has been wearing a red suit.My Xmas list? Very small:Tektronix MDO4034B-3Edit: Modified model number as I want 350 MHz bandwidth.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 09:44:21 am
content: Santa just plain sucks, although it is fun when you visit a family member at xmas without a present for them, the look on their faces is priceless when you say "I didn't think you believed in Santa, you certainly haven't been to church in my lifetime so I didn't think you believed in God either therefore I decided to abide by what I saw as your beliefs".Is it obvious I hate Santa ?. I will never forgive him for returning my letter to him when I was 7 stating "not known here".

author: crispy_tofu
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 09:46:07 am
content: Quote from: SeanB on November 15, 2015, 09:03:53 amAt least he doesn't use reindeer in Australia, he usessix white boomers! (kangaroos)

author: Stonent
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 10:52:55 am
content: Quote from: crispy_tofu on November 15, 2015, 05:50:15 amThat's right, Christmas season starts the day after the US Thanksgiving holiday. The whole world should know that!Just wait for us to have ourbasically the same as Christmas dinner one month priorand then the rest of you can start shopping!We ain't had our din-dins yet!

author: Muttley Snickers
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 11:16:39 am
content: After reading the entire thread I've decided to do the proper thing and taken the liberty of hanging a sock or two over the mantelpiece, in addition I have chosen to light a candle....The dryer is on the blink, the Hills hoist is offline and I need socks for tomorrow.

author: German_EE
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 12:41:19 pm
content: Fromhttp://www.daclarke.org/Humour/santa.htmlOriginal source: sirius@wam.umd.edu (The Human Neutrino aka Linda Harden)Original Title: IS THERE A SANTA CLAUS?1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't appear to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census)rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west(which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding etc.4) This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.5) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized LEGO set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.6) 353,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second, each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim)would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.In conclusion -- If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

author: AF6LJ
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 01:03:16 pm
content: It's too early for Christmas.

author: Mechanical Menace
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 01:15:54 pm
content: Quote from: German_EE on November 15, 2015, 09:33:33 amThat's a myth. There are plenty of examples of depictions of Santa in red or a mix of red and green that out date Coca Cola. In fact the red and white motif is older than the green, as red and white were the colours of Bishops gowns and the character is in part based on the 4th century bishop of Myra Saint Nicholas.EDIT:In fact Harper's cemented the modern image between the 1860s and 1880s, and invented the idea of sending him letters. Coca Cola didn't start using Santa in ads until the 1930s.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 01:25:12 pm
content: Quote from: AF6LJ on November 15, 2015, 01:03:16 pmTell that to the shops who dont agree !

author: AF6LJ
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 02:32:30 pm
content: Quote from: Deathwish on November 15, 2015, 01:25:12 pmTrue....

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 02:34:58 pm
content: Within ten minutes of xmas being over the shops will be shoving easter eggs on display and the old xmas stuff will be at least 50% off at the front of the stores. Shop early for next year I say and buy it all.

author: Ian.M
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 02:37:39 pm
content: Quote from: Deathwish on November 15, 2015, 02:34:58 pmMMMmmmmm, year old mince pies and pigs in blankets. Oh well, at least that should give a Santa a gut ache next year.Let me be the first to say "Bah! Humbug!"

author: nctnico
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 02:41:32 pm
content: Quote from: Deathwish on November 15, 2015, 01:25:12 pmOver here we have Sinterklaas first (5th of December) and shops who put up Christmas decoration before Sinterklaas will be put on fire and the owner(s) chased with axes and pitch forks! Even radio stations will not play Christmas music before Sinterklaas for the same reason!Quote from: AndyC_772 on November 15, 2015, 08:36:21 amWell, Tautech is old enough to pass for Santa if he puts on a Santa suit and doesn't shave his beard for a couple of months

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 02:47:23 pm
content: Quote from: Ian.M on November 15, 2015, 02:37:39 pmxmas puds last ages ...

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 15, 2015, 02:49:13 pm
content: Quote from: nctnico on November 15, 2015, 02:41:32 pmI like your country, can I have an axe please ?. Tautech is too old too be santa, and his zimmerframe wont fit down a chimney either

author: tautech
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 01:50:54 am
content: Here was I thinking I'm far too young to be a Santa....~ same age as you Garry.I'd be no bloody good anyway......I'm from tight fisted Scot's descent.AND like you folically challenged so I couldn't double as a chimney sweep even with the normal Santa 2 passes. Hmmm, that must be why he has a big bushy beard....... to do a good job on chimneys.Anyway, a much better candidate would be Muttley, hairy as hell and he probably only needs 1 pass to do a decent job.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 02:05:35 am
content: I am thinking of getting a HAM radio just for the fun of listening, do you think Santa has one, I would love to hear his screams as he spins to earth and a reindeer shoves it's antlers up his posterior cavity

author: tautech
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 02:17:13 am
content: Quote from: Deathwish on November 16, 2015, 02:05:35 amThis makes me wonder if you can't spell and you login should be Deafwish.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 02:23:50 am
content: I can spell, I just hate that fat old git, in fact I hate him that much that every year I get my Kevin bloody Wilson xmas tunes out and let the neighbours have it full blast just to pee their day of too

author: AF6LJ
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 02:57:44 am
content: Quote from: Deathwish on November 16, 2015, 02:05:35 amSanta is a CB'er he hangs out on US Channel 19 when he is in the aria.

author: nctnico
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 02:03:12 pm
content: Quote from: AF6LJ on November 16, 2015, 02:57:44 amIn his big Coca-Cola truck?

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 08:15:04 pm
content: Quote from: nctnico on November 16, 2015, 02:03:12 pmMeh, Santa the junkie, always has a line of coke handy.

author: AF6LJ
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 08:56:26 pm
content: My Christmas includse but is not limited to;1. Decent health for myself and my friends.2. An end to all these stupid wars.3. Freedom for all.4. A successful finish to my RF noise canceling project. (at least 18DB in man made noise reduction).5. A new service monitor, I am getting tired of fixing my IFR.6. Last but not least; A solid gold kamasutra coffee pot.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 09:13:51 pm
content: Last but not least; A solid gold kamasutra coffee pot. !!.I hope that is not a sex thing, because Santa only comes but once a year and his wife is wildly excited with anticipation when he does that one. I suppose some sarcastic sod could send her a frequency counter ....

author: AF6LJ
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 09:26:08 pm
content: Quote from: Deathwish on November 16, 2015, 09:13:51 pmSo There ya Have it.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 09:43:33 pm
content: I like the video, you are an unusual person young Sue. [ rest of post deleted by DW because it was going to end up sounding sexist when it was not ], suffice it to say I like your posts.Now back to Santa, want to collaborate on a SAM / anti Santa / Mercenary project to end the misery of millions of kids every year ?. Just think of all the milk, cookies, carrots and other junk we could save too.

author: AF6LJ
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 09:51:00 pm
content: Quote from: Deathwish on November 16, 2015, 09:43:33 pmBut.....This is the only time Santa gets to eat....As for sexist remarks...If they are not launched at me, they are usually just chalked up to boys being boys...

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 09:55:33 pm
content: Quote from: AF6LJ on November 16, 2015, 09:51:00 pmAre you serious ?, have you seen the size of that fat old git, he looks like he is wearing a bell tent in red even !, honestly , he could do with a diet or two.No I don't do deliberate sexist comments at people, I just like yours and Bernice's posts.

author: AF6LJ
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 09:58:07 pm
content: Quote from: Deathwish on November 16, 2015, 09:55:33 pmBy the time Thanksgiving comes around next year; he will be weighing in at 65KG.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 10:03:12 pm
content: Quote from: AF6LJ on November 16, 2015, 09:58:07 pmBy the time thanksgiving comes round I expect his wife will be giving thanks the dodgy old sod has kicked the bucket from a heart attack ( If I dont get him first ) and she can at last get a real life.He is nothing more than a nightmare for kids, all those poor kiddies who think they have to behave all year or he wont bring them anything, terrified to get dirty or pinch a cookie etc etc or Santa will give their toys away. I say we save the kids, and knock of Santa.

author: AF6LJ
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 10:14:41 pm
content: Quote from: Deathwish on November 16, 2015, 10:03:12 pmIndeed and if I remember correctly a watered down version of one of the original variations on the myth.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 10:17:40 pm
content: Quote from: AF6LJ on November 16, 2015, 10:14:41 pmwoohoo a kindred spirit, I will man the guns / rockets and you can work out the electronic guidance systems. This guy is finally going to be toasted. Best xmas pressie ever

author: Muttley Snickers
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 10:58:52 pm
content: Your wish list is a waste of ink unless you can relay it to the relevant people.And if you are not satisfied with the outcome then take it a step further.

author: nctnico
author_rank: Super Contributor
timestamp: November 16, 2015, 11:51:07 pm
content: Quote from: AF6LJ on November 16, 2015, 10:14:41 pmChristmas as we currently know it has been invented by Coca-Cola and they got filthy rich from it! And guess where they got the idea from... They did got the insight not to copy the black helpers because the discussion about them is causing riots nowadays

author: AF6LJ
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 17, 2015, 03:10:53 am
content: I actually know someone in North Pole Alaska.He is not a fat old man, he is a middle aged fit man who works on big telecommunications projects.Hi Steve.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 17, 2015, 03:49:47 am
content: Quote from: AF6LJ on November 17, 2015, 03:10:53 amAre you saying we could have an agent we could utilize closer to Santa than us !. Can he get us Santa's flight plan and itinerary for the xmas period. We need eyes on and a laser lock. Would be good to get rid of the fat red man once and for all.after Santa we can get rid of the Easter Bunny too

author: AF6LJ
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 17, 2015, 04:30:32 am
content: Quote from: Deathwish on November 17, 2015, 03:49:47 amOnly if I can get Guy Fawkes Day declared a Federal Holiday in the US.

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 17, 2015, 04:37:38 am
content: Quote from: AF6LJ on November 17, 2015, 04:30:32 amSorted, I will msg Potus on twatter to get it done. Even give him the houses of Parliament to go with it, we have no obvious use for it anymore.

author: AF6LJ
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 17, 2015, 04:44:23 am
content: Quote from: Deathwish on November 17, 2015, 04:37:38 amGoad to see that you haven't electrocuted yourself yet.I have but not fatally yet...She knocks on Wood....

author: Deathwish
author_rank: Unknown
timestamp: November 17, 2015, 04:52:02 am
content: Quote from: AF6LJ on November 17, 2015, 04:44:23 amOh I have done many times in the past when playing with TV sets. Probably explains why my brain is fried. Glad to see you haven't done any serious harm to yourself, wonder if Bernice has.