cold hearted baller  i have three superstitions i live by: <br>1. no dating all season. <br>2. don’t jinx a no-hitter while one’s in progress. <br>3. be cold-hearted. if you find something you think about more than baseball, destroy it. <br> <br>calliope thomas is one of those things. ever since she left a bad review on the max energy drink i endorse, i haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. obviously, when she said she hoped i had a losing season, i had to meet her and get her to take the words back. <br> <br>now, she’s making me do insane things. like, obsess over the color of her panties or if i can make her blush. read superstition one—i don’t do this sort of thing. <br>i play ball, not chase after a woman i barely know. <br> <br>but, i am, and she wants nothing to do with me. <br>she thinks i’m the devil. <br>and i have to say she makes me want to sin. <br> <br>i’m becoming a borderline stalker. <br>and to make matters worse she’s affecting my game. <br>i can’t pitch. <br>i can’t hit. <br>i can’t focus. <br>something needs to give, and it won’t be me.