text: Hey, girl
  Hey...
  Whats going on, babe?
  Yeah, you seem down
  You know that girl Donna?
  Well, Ive met her, like, a thousand times
  And she just introduced herself to me!
  Rude!
  Yeah, she knows who you are!
  I know, its kind of bumming me out...
  I see your sadness and I see your pain 
  You can do no wrong, and shes the one to blame
  And it hurts me to see somebody hurtin you 
  She says shes twenty-seven, but shes thirty-two
  My words are my knife 
  Said Im gonna cut deep
  And Im gonna rip up her whole life
  Im gonna lift you up
  By tearing her down 
  Im gonna dissect all her Instagrams Ive found
  Shes tryna have beach waves
  But doesnt have enough hair
  When you are down in the gutter
  Ill join you there 
  Gosh, thank you girls!
  Honestly, insulting her made me feel so much better
  Oh my god, its your ex...
  Trent came?
  Hey, good to see you
  You look good!
  So do you!
  Alright, see you around...
  Ok, wow!
  A true freak whos obsessed with you
  Chica-oo-ha honey
  Cmon, lets restart
  Hes a small man with an empty heart
  And hes always talkin bout Paris 
  Its like, dude, you did not invent Paris
  And dont you know
  Hell die alone in a psyche ward
  But if you get back together
  Then were back on board
  Im gonna raise you up 
  By blasting his ass
  Lets go in on his mom
  Nobody gets a pass
  That bitch drinks so much
  They should take her car
  When my sister has been burned
  No burn goes too far 
  Thanks, you guys
  God, he sucks!
  Yes!
  The worst...
  Wait, is that Tania from your work?
  I had to cover her shift today
  Because she said she had a family emergency
  gasps What?
  Hey guys! Whats wrong?
  Oh, hey, Nicki. We were just talking about this girl--
  Oh, girl, I dont even need to know who it is--
  Ill rip up her life, yo, get the knife
  Cause you low-key my wife, you my bitch for life
  You a ten, she a two, life sucks for her
  Its goin down, when we come out, its up for her
  Lets punch her in her face and take her jewels
  Its May, we dont play with them April Fools
  Uh, you shoulda seen her face
  It was me, Aidy, Katy, and Tina Fey
  You know youre name stay in a hater mouth, boo
  I hate her nose, I hate her eyes, I hate her mouth too
  I hate her stupid wig, I hate her shoes, too
  Is she ugly, lame, or musty? Choose two
  Ooh, Ooh ooh ooh ooh
  Honey, we caught the shade that you threw
  Ooh, Ooh ooh ooh ooh
  I love my best friend, bitch, screw you
  Im gonna lift you up
  By tearing them down
  Ima hit on all
  All the flaws weve found
  You think were toxic
  But no, bitch, thats you
  Dont you know talking sht is how
  We all get through