text: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
  WINSTON CHURCHILL!
  VERSUS!
  THEODORE ROOSEVELT!
  BEGIN!
  Bully! A challenge! I love competition!
  Now where would I mount the stuffed head of a Winston?
  Im into fitness, digging ditches through an isthmus!
  Rough ridin down to Cuba like Whats up, Bitches?!
  I keep my rhymes pure, like my food and drugs
  Im an American stud, and youre the British Elmer Fudd!
  I mean, for Christs sake! Look at that mug!
  At least grow a spruce mustache and cover part of it up!
  And lets face it, youre not all that great
  You tossed away lives in Gallipoli like they were scraps off your plate!
  Your whole miserable country is the size of one state!
  I could see my way through running that without donning my Pince-nez!
  Dont go toe to toe with me, you bloated drunk old man
  Why dont you Do-Si-Do on over to a 12 step program?
  Ill bust a trust fund lush with my American muscles
  So walk softly over here and give my big stick a suckles!
  Pass me a cigar and a large glass of brandy
  Im about to take you out prematurely, like your family
  Im the Rhyme Minister, fresh in a hat and dinner jacket
  You look like a mix of EpicLLOYD and a Pringles packet!
  I was saving the planet from an axis of darkness
  While you were back home, opening national parks, yes!
  You were born asthmatic, youre going to choke hard
  While I wake up every day and chain smoke cigars!
  Ill fight you on the beaches, Ill fight you on the beats, yes!
  Any way you want to fight Ill fight ya and Ill beat ya, see?
  I might be battling you even though Im toasted
  But tomorrow Ill be sober and youll still be roasted!
  My parents died when they were young and it was morbid
  But at least they didnt ditch me when they were alive like yours did
  Oh shit! World War Too soon?
  Well Teddys dropping bombs, so you best go hide in your tube!
  You should be ashamed of your military honor
  Everyone knows youre back home like Thank God for Pearl Harbor!
  Dont worry, the US will give you a pass
  Just change your poster to keep calm and kiss my cousins ass
  Steady there, I dont think its very fair
  For a British bulldog to melee with a Teddy Bear
  Youre no man, youre an overgrown Boy Scout
  I should stuff you in a pram just so you can throw your toys out!
  They put your fat head on a mountain to save face
  But if Rushmore was a band, then youd play bass!
  Look at Roosevelt, the dudes about to lose the bout to Churchill!
  If a bullet to the chest wont stop you, my words will
  A bullet cant stop the Bull Moose!
  TR will give WC the full deuce!
  Whatever shit you throw at me, Ill just return to sender!
  Ill battle to the end and I will never surrender!
  WHO WON?
  WHOS NEXT?
  YOU DECIDE!
  EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!