text: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
  LEWIS AND CLARK!
  VERSUS!
  BILL AND TED!
  BEGIN!
  You cant be starting with Lewis and Clark
  Cause we cut a path through emcees like a walk in the park
  And give em back a whole stack of maps and accurate charts
  Showing exactly where our footprints on their buttocks are marked
  Were two travelling wordsmiths spitting hotter than a furnace
  And well own you on the mic like the Louisiana Purchase!
  Youre worthless. Your future selves shouldve told you that
  Now go back in time and give Doctor Who his phone booth back
  We discovered bears and beavers and prairie dogs and weasels
  Rattlesnakes and catfish, owls, larks and eagles
  And plus flora galore! And according to our observations
  These two dickweeds right here are severely endangered
  We inspired pioneers and travelers near and far
  You inspired air guitar and Dude, Wheres My Car?
  We conquered much greater dangers in our trek through Mother Nature
  So step off, but tell Bills stepmom dont be a stranger
  Bills mom is hot, but that joke was most heinous
  Ive heard better insults dropped from Socrates anus
  Thats my stepmom, Ted Lets keep it excellent between us
  And show these boy scouts how it goes in San Dimas
  Were quick when we spit like Billy the Kid with his guns
  And youll be verbally kicked in the nut-Sacagawea-puns
  A teen mom carried you and your troops
  They shouldve let the baby lead, and put you in the papoose
  And if those native dudes knew what white dudes were gonna do
  They woulda stopped you in Dakota They should totally Sioux
  Why dont you go back to exploring Napoleons old swamps
  Or youll discover your Corps most triumphantly stomped
  Did you hear that, Meriwether? I think they mean to brawl
  Ill take Neo. Ill take the one that no one knows at all
  From the Falls of Black Eagle to the Pacific
  We put the dis in dysentery cause we spit sick
  Without Rufus youd be useless on all the trails we blazed
  You couldnt navigate your way out of a Circle K
  Send over Garth and Wayne, because you turkeys arent worthy
  Suffering your raps is a most bogus journey
  Man, they totally burned us. I feel like such a doofus
  What do we do? I dont know
  Be Excellent
  Rufus!
  Hes right, dude. We dont have to take this kind of abuse
  From some Paul Bunyan dudes in potato sack shoes
  You rode a river one direction; we travelled four dimensions
  Rescued bodacious babes, and get back for detention
  Ive seen your future, Mr. Lewis and I dont wanna be rude
  But spoiler alert: You totally kill yourself, dude
  So we offer you peace with these resplendent medallions
  And we claim this battle for the Wyld Stallyns!
  WHO WON?
  WHOS NEXT?
  YOU DECIDE!
  EPIC! Grizzly bear growls Huh?
  Bear continues to growl
  Eh... RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!