text: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
  ASH KETCHUM!
  VERSUS!
  CHARLES DARWIN!
  BEGIN!
  Darwin wants to battle? Doesnt seem like a fight
  But this should be fun! Ive yet to catch a ghost type
  Got the highest speed stat, drop rhymes lightning fast
  Open my pockets and go on your ass
  Cause Im Ash! And thats A-to-the-Shush!
  I dont care how many beetles and butterflies you squooshed
  Your earthworms can’t beat these magical beasties
  Your shit-talking mouth is the Origin of Feces
  Youve got candy raps, Reese’s Pieces
  In this ecosystem, I’m the dominant species
  When it’s time to train, I turn to Pikachu. 
  But when I need a weak verse, I choose you
  Hello there, welcome to a world called Earth
  Where actual minds do groundbreaking work
  If you’re looking for the fittest, I’m the natural selection
  You’re so ineffective, you couldn’t even turn eleven
  What you spit’s just not hard-hitting enough
  It’s kid stuff, you’re soft like a Jigglypuff
  You got no Game Boy, so you’ll get the broom quick
  The real Ash packs a much bigger BOOMSTICK
  I’m a masterful naturalist
  What Ive glimpsed will outclass all the crap on your laughable list
  My research reversed the first words of the Church
  You measure your worth by the sales of your merch!
  Yo, um… real quick
  This dude spent eight years studying barnacle dick
  Kick it! You think I’m impressed by your boat trip? Please
  You’re the most annoying thing on a Beagle since fleas
  You’re a glitchy old man best left out at sea
  Set sail and Galápago-suck on these
  Look, Mighty Morphin Michael Vick
  Your animated slave fights make me sick
  When I battle a foe from so simple a beginning
  I’m not Charles Sheen but I am Dar-winning
  Man, if that’s true, then nature is cruel
  Cause the only thing you’re winning is your cousin’s gene pool
  You lost three children while they were still small
  TB and scarlet fever, gotta catch ‘em all
  It took millions of years for mankind to evolve
  Now they’re hunched over cellphones playing with your balls
  And it was hard losing my daughters and their brother
  As hard as the wood that Oak gave your mother
  WHO WON?
  WHO’S NEXT?
  YOU DECIDE!
  EPIC… RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!