text: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
  GEORGE CARLIN!
  VS!
  RICHARD PRYOR!
  BEGIN!
  Here we go, its George Carlin. Im a mad dog snarling
  I was born in the Bronx and brought up in Harlem
  Im dope at spitting bars and getting crowds hardy harr-ing!
  While youre the least threatening black dude since Carlton!
  Now, theres seven words you cant say on a TV set
  Well, this is the pissin fuckin cuntin Internet
  And my cocksucking motherfucking bits are the tits!
  Non-stopping brain droppings like my wit’s got the shits!
  So call this Pryor-hea: I doo-doo on you constantly!
  No pauses in my punchlines, no commas in my comedy!
  Youll be down for the count when this counter-culture counter man
  Serves you with a stand-uppercut you cant counter, damn!
  Im wilder than Gene when Im killing the beat!
  Youre steady taking second place, thats a Silver Streak!
  Any rap battles with you, I be winning em!
  Your styles like two drinks: its the minimum!
   Its your boy from Peoria, Illinois!
  One hand on my mic, one hand on my groin
  Cause aint no set tighter in this whole damn game
  Even the shit that I spit off the top: flames! 
  My delivery is rupturing the tummies!
  You tell a joke and people go, Hmm, thats funny.
  My Mama was a prostitute and Grandma ran the brothel!
  Seen some shit but not as awful as your haircut debacle!
  Im the original brother to give the scene some color! 
  The most iconic stand-up comic! Stand down, motherfucker!
  Hey, you forgot the Cos and you know its a mistake!
  I eat MCs for breakfast like theyre made of chocolate cake!
  Im the greatest...
  Whats wrong... whats wrong with my lip?
  Did somebody put something in my pudding?
  Im the... MC...
  They put something in the pudding. Its in the pudding...
  Oh, shut up, you stupid son of a bitch, you know you blew it!
  Id have attacked you two first but your hearts beat me to it! 
  Cosby, you cant be here! Youre making people nervous 
  So let me end you real quick like I was Hannibal Buress 
  It turns out you were just like your sweater: monstrous!
  The men that I slept with only wish they were unconscious
  My sex jokes offend, you’re on the sex offender registry!
  Oh, who are you wearing now? Is that State Penitentiary?
  Enough with the roofies, let me move on to Rufus
  My jokes always had bite, you started out toothless
  And you just kept talking, you wouldnt shut up
  Honestly, Im glad you died. 14 specials was enough!
  And Richard, can we talk? Can I call you Dick?
  Like your fifth wife did when you remarried your sixth?
  At this point, Ive got more plastic than flesh
  But my Tupperware body couldnt keep your raps fresh!
  So dont throw down with Rivers! The flow is too relentless!
  I havent thrashed celebrities this bad since The Apprentice!
  Im closing this battle! No one else compares!
  The only place Im in the middle is on Hollywood Squares!
  Good morning, movie bombs! Nice shoulder pads, chief!
  Im a genie in a bottle for some comic relief!
  O Carlin, my Carlin, what can I say about you?
  Except I dont think youve had a good shit since 1962!
  Mork aged backwards and Joan, you must too!
  80 years old but that nose looks brand new! Nanu!
  Yo Pryor, I Doubtfire makes a good shampoo
  Left you running down the street like Oh, no!
  Comedy aint easy, Ive played plenty of dumps
  And believe me, weve all hit plenty of bumps 
  But now Ive got the Flubber flows thatll get the club jumping!
  You got second-hand raps. Found em Goodwill Hunting!
  Got more hair on my arms than a Monchhichi!
  And Ill finish this battle like its Jumanji!
  I love the prince, but youll never have a friend like me!
  Thanks folks, thats my time! Gotta set myself free!
  WHO WON?
  WHOS NEXT?
  YOU DECIDE!
  EPIC Laughter RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!