text: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
  THOMAS JEFFERSON!
  VERSUS!
  FREDERICK DOUGLASS!
  BEGIN!
  When in the course of human events
  It becomes necessary for a battle to commence
  Then kplow! I hit em with the illness of my quill
  Im endowed with certain unalienable skills
  Let me run down my resume, will ya?
  Set up a little place called the United States
  Sound familiar?
  I told King George he could eat a fat dick
  When it comes to declaration Im the first draft pick
  Ill topple any tyrant, so kings and pirates beware
  Im so down with revolutions, I invented the swivel chair
  Ive many volumes on my shelves, its true
  But Ive yet to read the three books you wrote about YOU
  Looking like a skunk in a three piece suit
  Didnt come back from Paris to battle Pepe Le Pew
  First Secretary of State, VP number two
  Not to mention third president, the fuckd you do?
  You finished? ...Okay
  Straight outta bondage! A brainy mother fucker here to diss you
  Big hair, big nuts, big issues
  Starting with your nickel: theres a real declaration
  Heads for racist, tails for a slave plantation
  Youre a soft white Monticello Marshmallow
  Watching my people sweat while you sat playing cello, Hello!
  But now youre facing me, Freddy D
  Id never work for your ass, but Ill kick it for free
   Your stone face on Rushmore aint nothing
  Check my photos, now thats real muggin
  The face of a free man, taught himself to read, man
  No compromise, you couldnt whip a 5th of me, man!
  You got a self evident truth of your own
  You let freedom ring, but never picked up the phone!
  Oh Frederick, Ive never heard a verse I dug less
  Alright I admit it, I confess
  I participated in a broken system that I hated
  But I needed to keep my financial status situated
  And the words I used were hideous blot
  To describe the slave trade and the pain it hath brought
  And I fought to stop the trade of new slaves in Virginia
  When I ran the whole state and still made it home for dinner
  So forgive me, I was busy
  Man, I had a lot to do
  But we did it, youre free now
  So...we cool?
  This aint Louisiana man
  I aint buying it
  You talk about freedom, but you aint applying shit!
  So no, we aint cool
  You founding absentee father
  You had six babies with your slave mama
  And never even bothered
  To free her when you died
  On the 4th of July
  Its a very important holiday
  But what the fuck does it mean to this guy?
  Cause I celebrate December 6th, 1865
  The day the 13th damn amendment was ratified
  And I ceased to be an alien to your unalienable rights
  And We, the People stopped meaning
  We the people, who are white!
  Man, you did some good things
  I aint denying your fame
  Im just saying, they need to put an asterisk
  Next to your name
  WHO WON?
  WHOS NEXT?
  YOU DECIDE!
  EPIC RAP
  BATTLES
  OF HISTORY!