text: Epic Rap Battles of History
  Rasputin vs
  Stalin, begin
  Cool mustache, Wario
  Try messing with the Mad Monk youll be sorry, yo
  How many dictators does it take
  To turn an empire into a union of ruinous states?
  Its a disgrace what you did to your own people
  Your daddy beat you like a dog and now youre evil
  Youre from Georgia, sweet Georgia
  And the history books unfold ya!
  As a messed up motherfucker bent in the mind
  Who built a superpower but he paid the price
  With the endless destruction of Russian lives
  If youre the man of steel I spit kryptonite!
  Big dick mystic known to hypnotize
  I could end you with a whisper to your wife
  Look into my eyes you perverted witch
  See the soul of the man who made Mother Russia his bitch
  You think I give a fuck about my wife?
  My own son got locked up in prison, and I didnt save his life
  You got off easy when they pickled that moose cock!
  Id leave your neck in a noose, in a trench, and shot!
  Your whole family? Shot! All your wizard friends? Shot!
  Anyone who sold you pierogi? Shot!
  Starve you for days til you waste away
  I even crush mother fuckers when Im laid in state
  Pride of Lenin took Trotsky out of the picture
  Drop the hammer on you harder than I bitch slapped Hitler
  I have no pride for you who ruined everything
  My revolution was doing to stop the bourgeoisie!
  I fought the bondage of classes, the proletariat masses
  Have brought me here to spit a thesis against both of your asses!
  Let me start with you there, Frankenstein!
  Looking like something out of R.L. Stine
  Its hip hop chowder, red over white
  Cause the Tsars wife cant do shit tonight!
  And Joseph you were supposed to be my right-hand man
  But your loyalty shrivelled up like your right hand, man!
  Our whole future was bright, you let your heart grow dark
  And stopped the greatest revolution since the birth of Marx!
  Knock knock knock knock
  Did somebody say birthmarks?
  Yo Im the host with the most Glasnost
  Assholes made a mess and the war got cold
  Shook hands with both Ronalds; Reagan and McDonalds, no doubt!
  If your name end with in, time to get out!
  I had the balls to let Baryshnikov dance, playa!
  Torn down that wall like the Kool-Aid Man 
  You two need yoga, you need a shower
  And you all need to learn how to handle real power!
  Did somebody say real power?
  Дa, you want to mess with me?
  I spit hot borsch when Im crushing these beats
  Blow it up like a tuba while Im balling in Cuba
  Doing judo moves and schooling every communist сука.
  Im a president in my prime, my enemies dont distract me
  The last man who attacked me, lived a half-life, so comrade come at me
  You dont know what youre doing
  When you try to bust a rhyme against a mind like Putin
  Youll find that the ex-KGB is the best MC in the ex-CCCP!