text: Epic Rap Battles of History
  Dr Seuss vs
  William Shakespeare, begin
  Come bite my thumb, I hope you know the stakes
  Ill put a slug between your shoulder blades then ask what light through yonder poser breaks?
  I hath been iambic on that ass, ye bastard
  My rhymes are classic, your crap is drafted by a kindergartener high on acid
  Ye hoebag, youre an old white Soulja Boy who has no swag
  And no gonads, egads, its so sad
  And to top it off, youre not a doctor, Ive never seen a softer author
  You crook, you, I bet you wrote The Twilight books too
  I would not could not on a boat read any of the boring ass plays you wrote
  Even Horton doesnt want to hear you and Cindy Lou Who is afraid to go near you
  You bore people to death, you leave a classroom looking like the end of MacBeth
  I entertain a child of any age, you gotta translate what you said on the opposite page
  How you gonna battle with the Cat in The Hat? Little kids get scared when I step on the mat
  You think your ruffled neck ass gonna rap to that? I got a best selling book about me coming back
  Im switching up my style like the Beatles with my pieces, each is such a wonder with a plethora of features
  Youre pathetically predictable, you think your new book might include a trisyllabic meter and some ghetto Muppet creatures
  The Bard is in the building, its a castle, Im a boss, I bet Im Parliament, Im positive, Im killing it, Im iller
  Than the plague I never caught or cholera, a baller baller on some cricket bowler business while youre sitting in the bleachers
  You rap fast, you do, yes, you rap fast, its true
  Now lets see how you rap versus Things 1 and 2!
  Oh, no, well smash your Globe
  Yo, you may have wrote the script but now we running the show
  You can take your fancy words and send em back home to your mama
  Break our foot off in your ass with our feetie pajamas
  Man, well cook you up and eat you with some ham and green eggs
  Well break offa your legs, make no mistake, we in a rage
  All does not end well when we bust out our cage
  You gettin upstaged Bill, yo, you just got played!
  Who won? Whos next? You decide
  E—
  Pic Rap Battles of History