text: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
  STEPHEN KING!
  VS!
  EDGAR ALLAN POE!
  BEGIN!
  Once upon a midnight dreary, as I spit this weak and weary
  I will choke this joker with a trochee till his cheeks are teary 
  But yall dont hear me, all should fear me
  Ill forever be better, youll never be near me
  Your books are as eerie as Beverly Cleary!
  Youre a faux Bram Stoker, so scram, the shows over
  Your flows so-so, Poes poems pwn posers 
  I wrote em locked in a cave, while I sobbed in a rage
  The Tell-Tale Heart beats soft in its grave
  While this jerk just beats off on a page
  You wanna talk shop, you gothed-out fop?
  Go back to Hot Topic and shop for a top
  Theres a melancholy alcoholic laughing stock
  In the Kings house, now watch the Castle Rock
  Pouty little poet with an opiate affliction
  Im a workaholic with a fiction addiction
  Im making dedicated readers shivery and jittery
  Feel that Rage and Misery
  You better start running, man
  Youre in deep poo, Poe
  Im a mad dog, fangs Shining, Cujo
  Tommyknock you down till you cant stand up
  Youre as soft as Po, the Kung Fu Panda
  Racks on racks cause I pen fat stacks of frightening writing
  Have you seen the pile?
  I can even take a break from my routine style
  Crank out a Shawshank or a Green Mile
  Masque of the Red Death? Barely blood-curdling
  Pit and the Pendulum? Not even unnerving
  Perving on your first cousin when shes thirteen years old?
  Now thats disturbing
  Stephen you pretend to do it, Ive been really living through it
  Like misery and poverty and family woes
  I see through you like pantyhose,
  Doing Chappelle and Simpson cameos 
  Even if youre gripping on a weapon, then you better get to stepping if youre messing with the horror lord
  In a minute maybe, Imma hit him
  Cut him into itty bitty bits and Ima stick em in the floorboards
  Uh, speaking of bored, youre the worst
  Dropped out of school but you cant drop a verse
  I could have spent that time better
  In eight bars I can write a whole best-seller
  Im so prolific, this sickly goblin wont be bothering me
  Im on a clobbering spree
  And Ill be smacking you with any of the big thick books
  In my big dick bibliography
  See, Im the author with the blood and gore lore galore thatll horrify a reader to the core
  Fame? Money? Talent? Success?
  Youll always have less 
  WHO WON?
  WHOS NEXT?
  YOU DECIDE!
  EPIC! AHH! RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!