text: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
  MOTHER TERESA!
  VERSUS!
  SIGMUND FREUD!
  BEGIN!
  Mother Teresa, for short, call me “M.T.”
  I’m a missionary of charity M.C
  Three stripes like Adidas, and I’m doing it for Jesus
  A one woman nun-DMC
  I got a peace prize, but I’m not friendly
  You’re oh-for-thirteen as a nominee
  I’ve got lines like the DMV
  And being me takes balls, but I ain’t got no D envy!
  Who could ask for a better adversary on the mic
  Than the father of psychoanalysis? Psych!
  Look at that egghead! Mama wants some omelettes
  I’m here to crack the mind behind the mom-sex complex
  I gave food, bed, medicine, and showers
  To those whose flesh leprosy had devoured
  Your legacy is people who are mad at their parents
  Complaining on the couch for two hundred bucks an hour!
  Jokes I could make about your looks: abundant
  Your chastity vow: redundant
  But that’s enough about Mary B
  Let’s turn to my favorite subject: me!
  I got mouth cancer, wasn’t feeling so hot
  Had the doc put me down with a morphine shot
  Thank imaginary God I wasn’t in one of your beds
  You’d have just sprinkled magic water on my forehead!
  I help people live, you watch people die
  To get souls for a man in the sky!
  You took credit that you didn’t deserve
  You’re the fakest Sister Act since Whoopi Goldberg!
  You were running Project Pimp the Projects
  To you, Calcutta meant Cal-cutta a check!
  I can see right through you and you’ve got no flavor
  I’m battling a communion wafer!
  You call that a verse? You’re super-ego-trippin’
  I gotta say, Sigmund, you’re Freudian slippin’!
  I built mad missions in my savior’s name
  All you built was a mad tolerance for cocaine!
  Obsessed with masturbation, but you’re off the beat
  Your flows are so poor I should be washing their feet
  Dreams are the only place you’ll ever be as dope as me
  I make my rhymes count like beads on a rosary!
  Everything is sex to you! After I’m done wrecking you
  I’ll have to go and do confession just for standing next to you
  You want a second coming? I’ll bless the mic again
  I’ll end you like a prayer, motherlover! Amen!
  I notice that you talk a lot about yourself, which is funny
  Since you hide your true feelings like they were other people’s money
  Ooh! An exception to my theory! I can’t believe this!
  Here we have a Mother that no one wants to sleep with!
  You had a nice message, but your methods were detestable
  I’ve seen better care given to organic vegetables!
  All these tokens and smoke and miracles
  You really believe all this stuff? You’re hysterical!
  I’ve got the libido to continue to beat ya
  But our time is up, Teresa
  WHO WON?
  WHOS NEXT?
  YOU DECIDE!
  EPIC raAAAapPPPp BATTLES OF HISTORY!