text: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY...
  JAMES BOND!
  VERSUS!
  AUSTIN POWERS!
  BEGIN!
  I’ve beefed with Le Chiffre and No and Blofeld with the cheek scar
  But they were not as crooked and rotten as your teeth are
  I’ll go balls to the Walther on this whack twat in an ascot
  Blast shots atcha like gas from the back slot of a fat Scot
  Permission from the Crown to put a scoundrel down? I’ve earned it
  I’m licenced to kill, you couldn’t get a learner’s permit
  After twenty-four films, I’m still reaching new heights
  Your third movie died, guess You Only Live Twice
  Spell my name, the ladies wanna B-on-D
  Any sex appeal you might have is beyond me
  I’m bespoke from my head to my toe and after this flow I’m done
  I only need one round, gunshot Golden Gun
  You look a lot more blonde in your movie, baby
  Thats alright, lets just keep it groovy baby! 
  Basil Exposition told me this would be boring
  But Jesus, man, even my mojos snoring!
  Ive never seen such a miserable spy
  Ive also never seen a man with glistening thighs
  I mean you cant shag properly with that waxed tush
  Birds flock to the musk of my chest bush 
  I hypnotize you with a little strip tease
  And then judo chop, Im swinging on you like the sixties 
  Youre defenseless; my rhymes cant be deflected
  Youre like all the sex Ive ever had, unprotected 
  People want a hero with a little personality
  No one wants to sit through your gritty reality
  Maybe Q can craft some new plot lines
  Youve made Thunderball two bloody times!
  Im one of a kind youre always getting remade
  You cant touch me, double-oh behave
  Ugh! Cant believe Im wasting my time with this clown
  I should be on an island with a fucking model by now
  Sipping dry martinis and peeling off bikinis
  Not rapping against Swedish penis pumping weenies
  Yeah thats not mine-
  I didnt say I was finished, Im sick of your silly gimmicks
  Im the best spy in the business; just ask all the critics
  Ive been through hell, so yeah, Im a bit of a cynic
  But Im the original model that your frilly ass mimics!
  It’s the most prominent dominant bomb spy, so pay homage
  Handing out ass-whippings, I’m on some real James Bondage
  Your performance doesn’t stir me and I’m certainly not shaken
  If I wanted shitty acting in my action film, I’d go and watch Taken
  I see your modern gadgets and I piss on them all
  I don’t need a Q to break your balls
  I’m the granddad of the brand millions of fans have been sold on
  You’re so far up on my nuts I should call you Bond… Gold Bond
  Yeah, um, could I get back in my rap please?
  slap Rap these, you velvety hack!
  Jeez!
  It’s the movie business and you’ve had your six
  The world has had quite enough rug-wearing misogynists
  Yeah, to be honest, you are a bit rapey
  I mean, I like to swing but Dr. No means no, baby
  Oh please, I’m an extraordinary gentlemen, Im distinguished
  If they made a Mini-Me, they’d have to cast Peter Dinklage
  Well maybe they should cast a Bond who’s actually English
  slap Why, pussy, aren’t you the cunning linguist
  As a matter of fact, I’ve got a knack for licking old cunts
  After I beat you, I’ll kick the shit out of the man who does your stunts
  Now you listen here, you little duck-faced runt
  I’m all in, I’m ready to die any day that you want!
  WHO WON? 
  WHO’S NEXT? 
  YOU… YOU DECIDE!
  EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!