text: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
  RICHARD THE LIONHEART!
  VERSUS!
  RAGNAR LODBROK!
  BEGIN!
  Im Richard I, from the Third Crusade
  That only leaves room for you in second place
  The chivalrous swinger of the sword and mace
  And Ill kill you when I spit like a pit full of snakes
  Im the number one Dick rising up to make you feel small
  My battering ram slams through your shield wall
  Ill announce at the next of your Things
  That Im chomping through your family like boneless wings!
  Of course you got avenged by a kid with no bones
  Your own story ended worse than Game of Thrones
  Your son killed your ex, your ex killed your wife
  Im the Lion King, man, but thats a messed up circle of life
  Half-assed head tats cant be condoned
  Its like you raided the face of Post Malone
  Im scared of no foe, Im backed by the Trinity
  Ill conquer you on my day off like you were Sicily!
  Threatening to conquer Ragnar is bold
  For a King who got whacked by a ten year old
  Ill sacrifice you to Odin while drinking horns of mead
  Good thing you hold the red cross, cause thats who youre going to need!
  You built your army by raising English taxes
  I raised my army taxing English asses with my axes!
  And who are you to talk about the circle of life?
  Your old lady cant feel the love on any night! 
  Your only son was illegitimate, you heired on the side
  Ill twist your spine like the end of the Plantagenet line
  Im just a warrior, Im not a linguist
  But I think The King of England should probably speak English! 
  You took Acre and Jaffa like a piece of cake
  But never attacked Jerusalem, for Christs sake!
  You saw the Holy Land, but couldnt go all the way
  We should call it the Crusade of Richard the First Base!
  Sail back north with your barbarian goons
  Because Im tearing down your legacy: leaving it in runes!
  Your real self next to your legend disappoints
  I see you shaking in your shaggy little pants like Zoinks! 
  Who invented the royal me? We!
  Whos the predominantly fictional MC? Thee!
  Youre a wannabe, mon ami, kneel down and honor me!
  Richard coming through in the end like Sean Connery!
  The double-coronated blood and gore gourmet
  You might have the axe, but I make a body spray
  Lionhearts the sobriquet, but I strike like a cobra
  If I wanted to fight loser Vikings, Id go to Minnesota!
  You want to fight me? Take off the tin shirt
  Ill be waiting in my birthday suit, going berserk!
  Ding-dang-dong! Morning bells warn about me at the break of dawn
  And Im putting you to sleep like your brother John!
  Leaving monks in chunks on Northumbrian lawns
  Cause Im the Allfathers spawn!
  You couldnt even beat a Salad-in a fight! 
  Youre as soft as Monty Python knights! 
  You went from chainmail to chained up in jail
  Til Mommy drained England to pay for your bail!
  But no Kings Ransom will save you from these bars, son!
  Im eating you alive like the gangrene you died from!
  WHO WON?
  WHOS NEXT?
  YOU DECIDE!
  EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!