text: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
  ELLEN DEGENERES!
  VERSUS!
  OPRAH WINFREY!
  BEGIN!
  Hey God, its me, Ellen, can I ask you a question?
  How do I tell my friend Oprah shes gonna get more whipped than Stedman?
  Ill make her head spin, when it comes to rhymes I got a penchant
  So battling me is your intention, I better mention
  Youre about to get licked by a lesbian
  Oh! Knock you off your throne, take a shot at everything you OWN
  I got the skill to make Doctor Phil say
  I think you better just leave her alone
  You can tell Rachel Ray that my favorite recipe
  Is chopping Oprah Winfrey up into a million little pieces
  Im the queen of TV and Im here to destroy ya
  So check under your seat, because I got something for ya!
  You cant even hope to be as half as dope as Oprah
  Ill attract my hands around your throat and Deepak choke ya!
  Girl, your shows a petting zoo, you do a week on kittens
  And you dance like a chicken who snuck into Drunk Kitchen
  You played a fish with brain damage, Im a nominated actress
  Name synonymous with power! Spell it forwards or backwards
  Yes, youve got that power , and yes Ive got those kittens 
  I also feature puppies, talented children and mittens
  I like cute things that make people smile
  Make everybody feel good for a while
  Do a little dance and the crowd goes wild
  Kick you right back to the Miracle Mile
  I thought I told ya, your daytime reign is over
  Im jumping over Oprah like Im Tom Cruise on a sofa
  From ABC to LGBT, to NBC and now its all me
  Im the best MC and the biggest star
  Ill bite you in the ass like the tax on a free car
  Your mouth is writing checks your mullet cant cash, lady!
  Ill lodge my fabulous shoe up your suitpants, baby
  You follow my lead cause I paved the road for ya
  You drive behind me in a second-hand Porsche
  Check the Fortune 500, Im a media wonder
  The Dalai Lama and Obama memorized my cell number
  Try to beef with me, Ill make the whole market crash
  Honey, once you go Oprah
  You cant go back
  WHO WON?
  WHOS NEXT?
  YOU DECIDE!
  YOU DECIDE!
  YOU DECIDE!
  YOU DECIDE!
  YOU DECIDE!
  EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!