text: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!
  MOSES!
  VS!
  SANTA CLAUS!
  BEGIN!
  :
  Sweet robes, Obi-wan-too many days in the sun
  Stop preachin homie, teach your flock to covet some fun!
  I bring joy every year, man I represent cheer,
  You represent sandals and a scraggly beard
  Im from the North Pole, thats why my rhymes are so cold!
  I spit diamonds but Im serving up some fresh coal
  Youve been a naughty boy, you brought a plague of frogs
  Youd best arrest yourself, you broke your own law
  Or was there something in Rule Six I didnt understand?
  My list says killed Egyptian dude, buried him in sand
  I read your book, you got a strict religion
  No bacon, but mandatory circumcision?
  Im a jolly bowl of jelly, giving holiday presents
  But all the chosen people ever get for Christmas is jealous!
  :
  When I was high up on the mountain God revealed the truths of the Earth
  But he never mentioned a fat-ass Papa Smurf
  It takes 9 reindeers to haul your fat-ass
  You took the Christ out of Christmas and just added more mass
  You need to stop breakin into houses and creepin and peepin
  On naughty kids while they sleepin and keep yo hands off my stockin
  Dont you Ho Ho me! Ill split yo ass in half, like I did the Red Sea
  You aint a saint you a slaver, like a pharaoh in the snow
  Stop with the unpaid labor, and let my little people go!
  :
  We aint slaves!
  All that sand turned your brain to mush!
  I think you need to stop smokin all that burnin bush
  Yeah, were magical workers, man!
  We hang with reindeers
  Yo! Heres a GPS!
  Who gets lost for forty years!?
  Youre a glorified secretary, so write this down
  Begat deez nuts!
  Santa Claus is comin to town
  :
  So much drama in the Israe-L B.C.,
  Its kinda hard talkin directly to the G-O-single-D
  Hand me my chisel, I got a new commandizzle, for yall
  Thou shalt not let your children sit on a grown mans lap at the mall.
  Ill beat you ten times before the bread can rise, you dummy
  And walk off to the land of my milk and honies.
  WHO WON? WHOS NEXT? YOU DECIDE!
  EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!