text: Im tryin not to panic, Im gettin all romantic
  Gettin soft with everything I say and do
  Im talkin hours on the phone, puttin on that sweet cologne
  Im even puttin down the toilet seat for you
  Aw, wait a minute, it gets worse
  I found myself holdin your purse, standin outside that bra and panty store
  My bosss wife walked by, she spotted me and told me hi
  And I knew then, I was in for it for sure
  Now all the boys down at the shop know and they sure do find it funny
  They say youve changed my ways and that youre spending all my money, honey
  Chorus:
  If youre not in love
  If youre not in love
  If youre not in love
  Aw, if youre not in love
  Then Im in a lot of trouble
  I got this lump in my throat, then I sold my boat
  So I could buy this diamond ring for you
  Now Im hopin and Im wishin that since I cant go fishin
  You wont make me sell my golf clubs, too
  The boys down at the shop know and they laugh until I cry
  I told em, if I mess this up, my mommas gonna tan my hide
  Chorus
  I gave up that can of Snuff, no more NASCAR on TV
  Honey, if that aint enough, this may be the death of me
  Chours