be with you   The Force is something that makes others do things and stuff float at our command It was discovered by George Lucas and revealed in his sevenandtwothirdspart documentary Star Wars Mark Hamill can use it but Harrison Ford cannot Not even while canoeing a fjord  The Force and Religion In the essential melodrama of Forcewielding George Lucas uncovers the struggle of Light vs Dark in his aforementioned documentary Star Wars During the filming Lucas resided with and studied a small group of Jedi Catholic monks who police and protect the Galaxy in accordance with the Gospel description of Jesus work We learn early that the Jedi manipulate small bits of The Force by controlling ther emotion waving their hands around in odd and nondescript ways and moving junk around via telepathy  Soon we encounter the Sith pimps of the Galaxy who use the Dark Side of the Force for to fulfill their passions for beer and hookers gambling and unlimited power The Dark Side of course is a doubleedge sword or more accurately a red lightpaper it can cut the shit outta yo hands unless you hold it the right way  It is for this reason that many Sith have met their untimely demise falling down shafts and electrocuting things as their dead ass falls  The Force and the Jedi Order Jedi training in the Presbyterian faith under Britney Spears an anagram of Presbyterians is a strenous and ancient ritual  Boys and girls who show marked skills with the Force are granted training at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant where they learn Jedi skills included amongst the many lightsaber fighting moving stuff with your mind and convincing people these arent the droids theyre looking for  While spending a number of years getting shot by remote droids young Jedis in training learn about Jesus and his works and the apostles who were the first Jedi    The Jedi Order has come under some severe scrutiny since a number of Padawan molestation cases during training in the Outer Rim territories  Cardinal Yoda remains pensive  The earliest recording of The Force is when Moses crossed the Delaware  The second most Holy day of the Jedi Order is May th colloquially recognized as May the th Be With You day The first most Holy day is Hannukah  The Force and the Sith Lordth Many religious scholars blame the Sith or the Jews either way for the murder and crucifiction of Jesus after Jesus balanced the Force  However many agree except for those fascist scholarly types that the Sith did not murder Jesus for religious reasons but instead stood in the way to the creation of The First Galactic Empire as ruled by then Pope John Paul II  In the modern era Many Sith were converted by doortodoor Forcemarketers a practice which is currently being aprised by the Supreme Court If people choose not to convert to the Sith the Sith use the Dark side to throw barrels pipes man hole covers and freight trains through peoples front windows or trap them in Forcefields until they can be used to make a rather fuckish shade of Soylent Green  The Force and Race An oftenused explanation of The Force consists of Light and Dark sides of a spectrum or in computing terms bit values of RGB locked together In this analogy the Force draws upon the ageold battle of The White Man Repressin against Nigger Stole my bike  Paradise Losticus of ancient unknown authoring is the most vivid and accurate account of the religious turmoil within the Force In the climactic ending of the book Sith Lord Darth Maul returns Jedi Master QuiGon Jinns bike  The Light and Dark sides cannot coexist sidebyside not even in Detroit  Bickering on both sides has sparked off many Holy Wars like the Crusades and as detailed in the six part documentary Star Wars  The Light Side has come under significant fire in mordern times despite its true purpose of Guarding of Peace and Justice Many believe probably due to Sith indoctrination that this could just be bullshit for Defenders of Big Business and the Oil Industry  This could explain why the Jedi Temple is on the wildly industrialized planet Coruscant and the Sith live in ghettos like Cleveland  It is wholly undisputed that the Dark Side of the Force repre