Trumps first day at the Oval Office after being elected President

First briefing by the CIA Pentagon FBI

Trump We must destroy ISIS immediately No delays

CIA We cannot do that sir We created them along with Turkey Saudi Qatar and others

Trump The Democrats created them

CIA We created ISIS sir You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby

Trump Stop funding Pakistan Let India deal with them

CIA We cant do that

Trump Why is that

CIA India will cut Balochistan out of Pak

Trump I dont care

CIA India will have peace in Kashmir They will stop buying our weapons They will become a superpower We have to fund Pakistan to keep India busy in Kashmir

Trump But you have to destroy the Taliban

CIA Sir we cant do that We created the Taliban to keep Russia in check during the s Now they are keeping Pakistan busy and away from their nukes

Trump We have to destroy terror sponsoring regimes in the Middle East Let us start with the Saudis

Pentagon Sir we cant do that We created those regimes because we wanted their oil We cant have democracy there otherwise their people will get that oil  and we cannot let their people own it

Trump Then let us invade Iran

Pentagon We cannot do that either sir

Trump Why not

CIA We are talking to them sir

Trump What Why

CIA We want our Stealth Drones back If we attack them Russia will obliterate us as they did to our buddy ISIS in Syria Besides we need Iran to keep Israel in check

Trump Then let us invade Iraq again

CIA Sir our friends ISIS are already occupying rd of Iraq

Trump Why not the whole of Iraq

CIA We need the Shiite govt of Iraq to keep ISIS in check

Trump I am banning Muslims from entering US

FBI We cant do that

Trump Why not

FBI Then our own population will become fearless

Trump I am deporting all illegal immigrants to south of the border

Border patrol You cant do that sir

Trump Why not

Border patrol If theyre gone who will build the wall

Trump I am banning HB visas

USCIS You cannot do that

Trump Why

Chief of Staff If you do so well have to outsource White House operations to Bangalore Which is in India

Trump sweating profusely by now What the hell should I do as President

CIA Enjoy the White House sir We will take care of the rest