Request for opinion   An opinion was requested here I now offer one The tone of this article proseridden and inuniverse Assume that a person reading this has no idea what a Jak is and has never heard about previous Jak games or the Jak universe Look at each part and ask yourself if it is  clear that this particular section is about a fictional game that exists in relation to other games not just in the intro Remember that you are describing a work of fiction not telling a story Also the style is repetitive and boring Let me pick apart a paragraph    The missions what is meant by mission in Jak  are generally either platformbasedplatforming or drivingbased The platform segments involve Jakthe player Jak is a rendered model someone else is doing the jumping Jak is ok for story elements but gameplay is about the player jumping from platform to platform that is what platforming means right battling creatures along the way he battles in both types of missions right For these segments he is also provided a rifle does someone give him a rifle at the beginning of each segment the functionality of which changes with the kind of ammunition being used how so also maybe changes depending on the ammunition used The car driving driving car is implied segments segmentsX usually involve Jak racing against time prose try have specific time constraints to complete a mission that is what one does with missions while defending himself against other cars cars attack people or giant Metal Heads  When not on a mission missionX Jak wanders the streets of either Spargus or Haven City prose and what reason do we have to care which fictional city he is wandering in searching for someone to assign him a mission this sentence makes him sound so lame  Id do an edit myself but I know nothing of Jak and as it is this article does not make me care to