My old pal Sam   httpforumssomethingawfulcomshowthreadphpthreadid   My old pal Sam  Last night I decided to google the name of the most despised kid in my hometown I went to school with him for  years and have a whole list of horror stories His name is legendary in the childhood memories of my friends and I Sam  Sam was the kid who ate cat food at lunch Sam was the kid who always smelled like shit moreso on the occasions he actually shit himself Sam has a collection of awesome dragon shirts Sam was a genius too It always puzzled me what he was doing barely passing his classes in elementary and middle school Perhaps his superior mind just wandered Sam would often tell us about and draw pictures of his English girlfriend who flew to america every weekend to fuck him On special occasions Sam would share with us selections of the many books he had written Yeah Sam had it made  So I was curious of the life Sam was leading now a year after he has graduated High School Is he returning for his sophomore year at Oxford Is he happily married to his stick figure with huge tits  well Ive kept him in the dark long enough so say hello to Sam IMGhttpimgimageshackusimgicantspellmynamexvjpgIMG  I guess even child geniuses can spell their own username wrong We all make mistakes  httpenwikipediaorgwikiUserPHDrillSergeant  A few words about Sam from Sam      quote      Hi Im Sam I joined Wikipedia in June  My first edit was soon after I joined where I fixed a punctuational error in the Danny Phantom page My first truly major edit was on the Penny Arcade page Recently I have been more involved with Wikipedia trying to stop vandalism I have also been working with Wikipedias cleanup      quote      I am a member of a Vampire The Masquerade LARP called the Wasteland Chronicle which meets in my area Im currently playing Parker a member of Clan Nosferatu since my last character Alex Mountbatten died a while back To tell the truth its the only thing which keeps me sane  His userboxes also lend us insight into the rich life of this young man httpenwikipediaorgwikiUserPHDrillSergeantboxes      quote      This user has Aspergers Syndrome you guessed it      quote      This user is a member of Mensa according to a totally legit internet test he took      quote      This user loves the band AlterBridge      quote      This user is a modern follower of Bushido      quote      This user loves yiff and is probably a furry      quote      This user practices abstinence I dont think he has to practice very hard  Away from the formal setting of wikipedia Sams myspace shows him a bit more relaxed and personal  httpwwwmyspacecomporphyrichemophiliac   Killer Dragon shirt dude       quote      About meI eat I sleep I breathe I sometimes leave my house Sometimes  His blog contains a heartwrenching eulogy for what else his old computer      quote      Rest in peace my good friend     Current mood sad      OK you all are going to think this is really dumb I know it so Im prepared for it      Today at  pm my beloved PC met its end It snapped and is now broken with a fried motherboard and unfixable corrupted hard drives never to return from that infernal silicon grave      Now before you walk off saying how stupid this is let me explain something to you I do not have a life of any kind I occasionally have a girlfriendusually a girl who thinks This nice sweet guy aint got the best body but Im sure hell put me before anything else and how wrong they were More often than not I find myself alone in my room doing nothing but hanging out with my computer  Sam is also looking for love  httpwwwokcupidcomprofileuPHDrillSergeant  But beware puny minded plebs      quote      Im a bit more intellectual than most people I like to have intelligent conversations over coffee  Perhaps he can blow your mind with his analysis of tv shows and movies  httpwwwtvcomusersPHDrillSergeviewsauthor  httpwwwimdbcomtitlettusercomments      quote      better title Drake and Josh go Hollywhattheheck  January           Author PHDrillSergeant from Glen Burnie MD United States       This comment may contain spoilers       Allow me to ask some rhetorical questions      Why would ANY airport allow an  yearold on a plane WITHOUT CHECKING THEIR TICKET      Dont you think Megan is a little too smart to get on the wrong plane      Why would the most PRESTIGIOUS hotel in Los Angeles allow a single  yearold to stay in the PRESIDENTIAL SUITE Without checking her credit card Do the words FRAUDULENT CHARGES ring a bell      How was Megan allowed to stay in the hotels PRESIDENTIAL SUITE which costs a good  a night or more for over a week Gee thats over  plus ROOM SERVICE Her mom and dad are going to be ticked      How did a couple of thugs outwit ARMED GUARDS to get a money printing press      And just to top it all off it wasnt really a very funny movie  Sams Mensacertified genius TEARS THAT KIDS MOVIE APART  Sam is also a great comedian too Dont click if you arent ready to laugh bonus creed quote at the end  httpwwwyoutubecomwatchvCztoUc  Now I know what you all must be thinking All the pieces are there Is Sam a goon  Well I hate to disappoint but no Somehow he is wasting his gooniness over at the ebaumsworld forums And what does he have to say about SA      quote      I wholeheartedly apologize I admit that it was I who actually invented the Downloading of RAM joke as a meme on Something Awful      I now wish I had not because EVERYBODY FUCKING STOLE IT      quote      You are a SA Goon readies whacking stick      No Im not My friend is though He asked me to come up with a meme and I did And he posted it I think he made a new account there so he could post as a nb      Believe me Id never venture into the horrible land of SA      Actually it originated in the Have a Request section a few years ago Nice try though      Unfortunately you are very wrong The meme itself started like many other memes on Something awful and caught on springing such sites as downloadmoreramtk      And its my fault  Well we forgive you Sam just as long as you keep those newscasts and stories coming Im sure he doesnt really mean that about SA and would love to get to know you guys  Until thenfarewell blacksheep