I sincerely thank you for your concern but I am finding it difficult to reply in a manner both respectful of your compassion and also fair to my actual state of mind true intentions and what I have so far contributed on Wikipedia   I understand that you are an administrator so I will address what I understand to be Wiki policies paraphrasing those with COI who wish to make contributions should make them on the Talk page so that other editors without COI may consider them   Respecting this policy and believing that I had information of potential interest to others editing both the IC article and the Frances Hugle article I made contributions I feel are valuable   I think calling my writing a rant is not accurate   No doubt the info was unwelcome but if you read with an open mind I am sure you will understand the importance of the discussion and note that the other editor does reflect a degree of acceptance and learning   Finally I cannot stand against the mindset that is presently well entrenched in regard to the value or lack thereof of my efforts here As two people have now said yourself included I will be blocked But it is also not my character to be falsely accused and not attempt some defense   In this regard I do not think I am in a bad space and incapable of understanding what is and what is not a positive contribution Furthermore when someone says something to me and I do not see it the same way I generally will try to explain myself or further reveal the facts that have led to my alternate understandingpoint of view This effort though seems to be unwelcome Why Isnt that the purpose of the Talk page to enable offline discussions between editors and others both querents and commentators   Finally I want to suggest a book to you It is Ten Thousand Sorrows I suggest this book because it makes clear how individual responses may be and that traumatic personal experiences do not necessarily preclude one from making invaluable contributions to their society consider holocaust survivors prisoners of war other torture victims   There is an enormous amount of material that is not generally known or widely reported but is yet reliably published and if one knows where to look it can be found For the past few months I have been absorbed in understanding the timeline of some of the critical breakthroughs in chemical deposition solid state physics and crystallography related to the semiconductor industry I cant say that it will lead to anything I think worth sharing but if it did I would previously have thought to note it on a relevant Talk page Now    Similarly I recently read a Wikipedia page on a particular virus I was also reading many other nonWikipedia pages and noted that the info on Wikipedia appeared out of date according to the latest accepted research I made a mental note to go back and check the Talk page to see if anyone was discussing updating but now     Cheryl Hugle