Depthwise conv3d slower than normal conv3d
Labels: module: performance, module: nn, triaged, needs research

### 🐛 Describe the bug

Profile the normal conv3d layer with the script below. I got 3.384 ms on my RTX4000.

```python
import torch

DEPTHWISE=False

N = 1
IC = 64
D = 15
H = 75
W = 315
OC = 64
KD = 3
KH = 3
KW = 3

input_tensor = torch.randn(N, IC, D, H, W, dtype=torch.float16, device="cuda")
if not DEPTHWISE:
  input_tensor = input_tensor.contiguous(memory_format=torch.channels_last_3d)
conv3d = torch.nn.Conv3d(64, 64, kernel_size=3, padding=1, bias=False, groups=IC if DEPTHWISE else 1).cuda().half()

@torch.compile
def compiled_conv3d(tensor):
  with torch.no_grad():
    return conv3d(tensor)

# warm up
output_tensor = compiled_conv3d(input_tensor)
torch.cuda.synchronize()

with torch.profiler.profile(activities=[torch.profiler.ProfilerActivity.CUDA]) as prof:
    output_tensor = compiled_conv3d(input_tensor)
print(prof.key_averages().table(sort_by='self_cuda_time_total', row_limit=5)) 
```

Change to `DEPTHWISE=True` and run again, I got 3.442ms. If I comment out @torch.compile, there is no difference.

I expected that depthwise conv3d be faster than normal conv3d, especially when the channel number is not low (64). Why doesn't this work on pytorch?

### Versions

Collecting environment information...
PyTorch version: 2.1.0+cu121
Is debug build: False
CUDA used to build PyTorch: 12.1
ROCM used to build PyTorch: N/A

OS: Ubuntu 20.04.6 LTS (x86_64)
GCC version: (Ubuntu 9.4.0-1ubuntu1~20.04.1) 9.4.0
Clang version: Could not collect
CMake version: version 3.26.4
Libc version: glibc-2.31

Python version: 3.8.10 (default, May 26 2023, 14:05:08)  [GCC 9.4.0] (64-bit runtime)
Python platform: Linux-5.8.0-59-generic-x86_64-with-glibc2.29
Is CUDA available: True
CUDA runtime version: 11.8.89
CUDA_MODULE_LOADING set to: LAZY
GPU models and configuration: GPU 0: Quadro RTX 4000
Nvidia driver version: 535.54.03
cuDNN version: Probably one of the following:
/usr/lib/x86_64-linux-gnu/libcudnn.so.8.6.0
/usr/lib/x86_64-linux-gnu/libcudnn_adv_infer.so.8.6.0
/usr/lib/x86_64-linux-gnu/libcudnn_adv_train.so.8.6.0
/usr/lib/x86_64-linux-gnu/libcudnn_cnn_infer.so.8.6.0
/usr/lib/x86_64-linux-gnu/libcudnn_cnn_train.so.8.6.0
/usr/lib/x86_64-linux-gnu/libcudnn_ops_infer.so.8.6.0
/usr/lib/x86_64-linux-gnu/libcudnn_ops_train.so.8.6.0
HIP runtime version: N/A
MIOpen runtime version: N/A
Is XNNPACK available: True

CPU:
Architecture:                    x86_64
CPU op-mode(s):                  32-bit, 64-bit
Byte Order:                      Little Endian
Address sizes:                   46 bits physical, 48 bits virtual
CPU(s):                          20
On-line CPU(s) list:             0-19
Thread(s) per core:              2
Core(s) per socket:              10
Socket(s):                       1
NUMA node(s):                    1
Vendor ID:                       GenuineIntel
CPU family:                      6
Model:                           85
Model name:                      Intel(R) Xeon(R) W-2255 CPU @ 3.70GHz
Stepping:                        7
CPU MHz:                         2170.961
CPU max MHz:                     4700.0000
CPU min MHz:                     1200.0000
BogoMIPS:                        7399.70
Virtualization:                  VT-x
L1d cache:                       320 KiB
L1i cache:                       320 KiB
L2 cache:                        10 MiB
L3 cache:                        19.3 MiB
NUMA node0 CPU(s):               0-19
Vulnerability Itlb multihit:     KVM: Mitigation: VMX disabled
Vulnerability L1tf:              Not affected
Vulnerability Mds:               Not affected
Vulnerability Meltdown:          Not affected
Vulnerability Spec store bypass: Mitigation; Speculative Store Bypass disabled via prctl and seccomp
Vulnerability Spectre v1:        Mitigation; usercopy/swapgs barriers and __user pointer sanitization
Vulnerability Spectre v2:        Mitigation; Enhanced IBRS, IBPB conditional, RSB filling
Vulnerability Srbds:             Not affected
Vulnerability Tsx async abort:   Mitigation; TSX disabled
Flags:                           fpu vme de pse tsc msr pae mce cx8 apic sep mtrr pge mca cmov pat pse36 clflush dts acpi mmx fxsr sse sse2 ss ht tm pbe syscall nx pdpe1gb rdtscp lm constant_tsc art arch_perfmon pebs bts rep_good nopl xtopology nonstop_tsc cpuid aperfmperf pni pclmulqdq dtes64 monitor ds_cpl vmx smx est tm2 ssse3 sdbg fma cx16 xtpr pdcm pcid dca sse4_1 sse4_2 x2apic movbe popcnt tsc_deadline_timer aes xsave avx f16c rdrand lahf_lm abm 3dnowprefetch cpuid_fault epb cat_l3 cdp_l3 invpcid_single intel_ppin ssbd mba ibrs ibpb stibp ibrs_enhanced tpr_shadow vnmi flexpriority ept vpid ept_ad fsgsbase tsc_adjust bmi1 avx2 smep bmi2 erms invpcid cqm mpx rdt_a avx512f avx512dq rdseed adx smap clflushopt clwb intel_pt avx512cd avx512bw avx512vl xsaveopt xsavec xgetbv1 xsaves cqm_llc cqm_occup_llc cqm_mbm_total cqm_mbm_local dtherm ida arat pln pts hwp hwp_act_window hwp_epp hwp_pkg_req avx512_vnni md_clear flush_l1d arch_capabilities

Versions of relevant libraries:
[pip3] numpy==1.23.5
[pip3] onnx==1.14.0
[pip3] onnxruntime==1.16.0
[pip3] tf2onnx==1.14.0
[pip3] torch==2.1.0
[pip3] torchaudio==2.0.2+cu118
[pip3] torchvision==0.15.2+cu118
[pip3] triton==2.1.0
[pip3] triton-nightly==2.1.0.dev20230718193615
[conda] cudatoolkit               11.8.0               h6a678d5_0  
[conda] numpy                     1.23.5                   pypi_0    pypi
[conda] pytorch-triton            2.1.0+9e3e10c5ed          pypi_0    pypi
[conda] torch                     2.1.0.dev20230719+cu118          pypi_0    pypi
[conda] torch-mlir                20230720.905             pypi_0    pypi

cc @albanD @mruberry @jbschlosser @walterddr @mikaylagawarecki