The Cost of Living (2009)

The Cost of Living Mindy Beth Miller (bio) She had hidden his letter under the cotton quilts in her cedar hope chest. The lid whined open, and Laurie dipped her fingers inside, reaching down to the cool bottom of the box. She tapped her fingers on the wood, her mouth stretching to smile when she felt what she was looking for and gripped it in her hand. She unfolded the yellow page and touched it to her lips, then held it out from her body with the tip of her forefinger gliding across the printed words. No more waiting, she thought. She knew that if she put it off for one more day, she’d never do the thing she’d promised. She heard his feet falling hard on the floor, the floorboards cracking loud in the kitchen. She stood stock-still, listening to him hum. A song he’d made up, she reckoned. Laurie looked down at the page again, the words rising up, her soft breath forming the sounds, “This is it. Today. Remember: Hazard to Lexington, then on to me. I’ll be waiting. Brinton.” She pressed a warm hand to her face, the scent of cedar on her skin. Garner hollered her name. “Be right there,” Laurie said, her voice ringing out in the stillness. She folded the paper into a square and shoved it down inside the pocket on her blue apron. She plucked Garner’s shirt off the ironing board, its sun-dried smell floating up to her, paused in the kitchen and stared at him. He stood at the refrigerator, drinking from a gallon of water, a shiny stream dripping off his chin. Some of the water drizzled onto the front of his naked chest, so he swiped a hand across his chin and neck. She admired his thick shoulders and remembered the way he used to snatch her up in his strong arms, holding her there for awhile. She shook her head and moved to him, handing him the gray work shirt to put on. “What’s running around in your mind this morning, woman?” Garner said, his rough fingers catching her chin. “Them big brown [End Page 58] eyes shine too bright.” He buttoned his shirt, his fingers jumpy, brown dirt and tiny chips of wood thick under his fingernails. He glanced at her, his eyes snapping. “You’re up to something,” he said. “Oh, Gar,” she said, whipping a hand through the air, “name one little thing I could be up to in this holler.” She finished the rest of his buttons, her hands brushing across his firm chest. His skin was warm and a little damp. She fidgeted with his collar a bit and thought to slip her arms around his neck, but didn’t. “While you’re gone, I have to hoe the weeds out of the garden, mend a set of curtains, and can beets. I ain’t got time to surprise anybody.” That lie slipped right off her tongue, and she didn’t even flinch. She lifted her eyes to Garner’s face and smiled. That always did the trick. He ate that up. She wanted to make him believe, just one more time. She scooped some loose brown curls behind her ear and laughed. He wouldn’t know at what, but she wondered why he didn’t see it. Why he couldn’t see the sin on her face, shining like bright red lipstick on her mouth all the time. “You kill me,” she said, slapping her hand on his shoulder. His eyes bore right into her, and she figured for a minute that he knew all about it. The sight of him looking at her like that just about took her breath. “I’m going to build you that big back porch you’ve been talking about all these years,” he said, sitting down at the table. “That way you can look out on the bottom and up at all them stars whenever you want to.” She filled up his lunch bucket, throwing in a Dixie loaf sandwich, a Snickers bar, and a can of rc. She watched him fiddling with the old radio...