My most important lesson (2006)

Figure: Robert L. MartinLook at my new picture shown above. Do you notice any difference from the old one? I recently lost 45 pounds and some people say I look different. What do you think? I went through a 20-week Diet & Life-Change program that included a mandatory 2-hour weekly group session. We talked about everything and I learned a lot about myself from the other people in the group. Perhaps the most important lesson I learned is how much people—including myself—depend on people. People influence each other more than we may realize. Support is priceless. The lack of support often prevents us from reaching our dreams and goals. The pressures and stresses of everyday life take a toll on our physical and mental health, so if you are going to do well, flourish in this life, you need people helping you. Otherwise, the daily wear and tear will eat you up. You can try treating yourself with food, booze, or drugs, but they don't work. TECHNICAL SUPPORT If you have been reading my column for a while, you probably know how much l love and appreciate the technical support people at the various hearing aid manufacturers I work with. Without these people, running a successful private practice would be impossible. I just can't say enough good things about these folks. But my Diet & Life-Change class taught me how much I depend on—and how much I am influenced by—other people in my life. Take parties for example. When you're on a diet and you go to a party, your hostess says, “Have a glass of wine. You deserve it! Here.” And she hands you the glass. It is very difficult to say, “No, thank you” and refuse the wine, especially if she insists. But let's assume one of your friends speaks up and says to your hostess, “Judy, what are you doing? You know he shouldn't drink on an empty stomach.” This small act of support makes all the difference. I never realized before how susceptible I am to the influences of other people. You're probably familiar with the poet John Donne's words, “No man is an island.” This is true. We all live together, and whether we realize it or not, we influence each other in hundreds of ways. MY SUPPORT GROUP Years ago, someone told me, “If you fail to utilize all the resources you have at your disposal, you place severe restraints on yourself.” I've spent many hours thinking about this and wondering what “resources” I was not using. My biggest resource, without question, is people: family, friends, professional peers, associates, employees, etc. They all sustain me when the going gets rough. Without them I would not make it. Thanks to my new support group, I have added some specialized supporters, including a personal trainer, a weight loss maintenance program, an old friend I reconnected with, and family members who live in other states. PATIENTS NEED SUPPORT We need to remember that our patients also need support, and different patients need different amounts and kinds of support. Some of our patients are self-reliant by nature and can adapt to using hearing aids with limited support from other people. Others require a lot of hand-holding, an almost endless supply of support. An auditory rehabilitation group along the lines of “Learning to Use Your Hearing Aids” is invaluable for some patients. It causes them to interact with others in the same situation that they're in. These groups are an efficient way for practitioners to communicate with and support many patients at the same time. We must always be sensitive to the needs of our patients. When they require support to hear the best they can, it's part of our job to figure out what kind of support will be most helpful and be prepared to provide it. YOUR SUPPORT GROUP The amount of support we need depends greatly on what is happening in our lives. When we are feeling good and being successful, we don't need much support. But when we start a new job, go through a divorce, lose a family member, get fired, or fall sick, our need for support increases. When you think about building a support team, be creative. While family, friends, and professional therapists may be the people to whom those in need usually turn, they are not the only ones. I asked several people who was on their support team. One man named his favorite bartender; another person said her dog. If you are like me, you don't always take the same problems to the same friends. Some 400 years ago, when John Donne wrote, “No man is an island,” he spoke the truth, although most people then had no direct contact with anyone who lived more than a short distance away. Today's technology allows us to communicate instantly with almost anyone we want. As a result, it is easier than ever to receive and give support whenever our stressful lives require it. Thanks to my Diet & Life-Change program, I realize the importance of support more than I used to. Are you getting all the support you need?