Handling Difficult Students: Can You Spell "Chicken Soup"? (2000)

Facuity committees and administrators make rules, but it is up to others to take heat from those who do not understand or appreciate wisdom behind them. That's job of our frontline staff members who are called upon to be bearers of bad tidings in enforcing office and institutional policies. The ones who are most successful in dealing with irate students are somehow able to make them feel as if they have a friend in a time of need. While some folks seem to come by this talent naturally, others can get there through practice and experience. The following is a recipe for success that spells C-hi-c-k-e-n S-o-u-p. is for control. The difficult student is often out of control, while you must remain calm. One way to stay in control is by recognizing that in encounters such as these, like grieving process, students go through three distinct stages. call it VCR: Venting, Clarifying, and Resolving. Rather than merely defending fort, your job is to help student move through these three stages successfully. In Venting stage, student simply wants an attentive and sympathetic ear into which to pour his or her troubles. It is not a good idea to try to move on to second and third stages before student completes Venting stage. Listening and nodding doesn't mean you are agreeing, just that you feel student's pain. When student either runs out of breath or gets that So what are you going to do about it? look, it is time to move on to stage two. Of course, if you begin Clarifying stage and are repeatedly interrupted, you may have to retreat to Venting stage again. One way to help make transition to stage two is to say something like, I understand how you feel. Let me explain how it's all supposed to work, and maybe we can see what went wrong. In Clarifying stage it is important not to become defensive-saying things like, you'd only have read class schedule, tend to send student back to Venting stage. Clarifying calls for calmly exchanging information. It is time to move on to third and final stage when it becomes clear that student fully understands what caused trouble. In third and final stage, it may become apparent that student was absolutely right and something needs to be done to make restitution. More often, of course, it becomes apparent that student was at fault for his or her own dilemma. You can facilitate saving face or even gain a small victory by saying something like, I can see how you misunderstood. Maybe we need to work on making that a little clearer in catalog. But be careful not to push this too far or student may go directly back to venting about how rotten catalog is. If student is unable to move through this final stage, you'll probably hear about it later, so it is a good idea to alert your to details when someone walks away still angry. The C might also stand for Count to ten before responding to a verbal attack. Sometimes it works to excuse yourself to check with your allowing time for both of you to cool off, for you to actually seek advice from your supervisor, or simply to practice your silent scream. If you check with your supervisor too quickly or too often, though, student may conclude that you have no power to help him or her, so why waste any more time talking with you? If there is a demand to talk with the director, it is generally a good idea to make an appointment, rather than to allow student to charge right in. There are seldom any issues that are of an emergency nature, and making an appointment for even an hour later will enable student to calm down, as well as time for you to brief your boss. H is for happy face. Admissions counselors know all about putting on their smiles in morning of a day when they have to say same things over and over to a parade of prospective students. …