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+
+
+
+
+Produced by David Widger
+
+
+
+
+
+
+INGERSOLLIA
+
+By Robert G. Ingersoll
+
+GEMS OF THOUGHT FROM THE LECTURES, SPEECHES, AND CONVERSATIONS OF COL
+ROBERT G. INGERSOLL, REPRESENTATIVE OF HIS OPINIONS AND BELIEFS
+
+Edited By Elmo
+
+1882.
+
+
+
+
+INGERSOLLIA
+
+
+
+
+INTRODUCTION
+
+Colonel Robert G. Ingersoll occupies a unique position. He is to a large
+extent the product of his own generation. A man of the times, for the
+times. He has had no predecessor, he will have no successor.
+
+Such a man was impossible a hundred years ago; the probabilities are
+that a century hence no such man will be needed. His work needs only
+to be done once. One such "voice crying in the wilderness" is enough
+to stir the sluggish streams of thought, and set the reeds of the river
+trembling. It was said of Edward Irving, when he went to preach in that
+great wilderness of London, that he was "not a reed to be shaken by the
+wind, but a wind to shake the reeds." It would not be flattery in any
+sense if similar words were spoken concerning the man who has uttered
+the words of this book.
+
+Daring to stand alone, and speak all the thought that is in him, without
+the miserable affectation of singularity, Colonel Ingersoll has reached
+a point from which he wields an influence both deep and wide over
+thoughtful minds. For the last few years he has been sowing strange
+seeds, with unsparing hand, in many fields; and probably no one is
+more surprised than he is himself to find how thoroughly the ground was
+prepared for such a seed-sowing.
+
+Time is much too precious to discuss the mere methods of the sowing. No
+doubt many who have listened to this later Gamaliel, have been startled
+and shocked by his bold, and sometimes terrific utterances; but after
+the shock--when the nerves have regained their equilibrium--has come
+serious, calm-questioning thought. And whoever sets men to asking
+earnest questions, whoever provokes men to sincere enquiry, whoever
+helps men to think freely, does the Man and the State and the Age good
+service. This good service Colonel Ingersoll has rendered. He has sent
+the Preachers back to a more careful and diligent study of the Bible;
+he has spoken after such a fashion that Students in many departments
+of learning have been compelled to reconsider the foundations on which
+their theories rest. Above all, he has awakened thousands of thoughtless
+people to the luxury of thinking, and he has inspired many a timid
+thinker to break all bonds and think freely and fearlessly for himself.
+
+In referring some time ago to the subject matter of Colonel Ingersoll's
+teachings, Prof. David Swing, of Chicago, laid special emphasis on
+the point, that the man speaking and the thing spoken were entirely
+separable, and that no wise criticism of these words could proceed,
+unless this fact was kept in view. This word of caution is as timely as
+it is wise. We are too much prone to judge the music by the amount of
+gilding on the organ-pipes; we are too apt to forget that gold is gold,
+whether in the leathern pouch of a beggar or the silken purse of a king.
+The doubts expressed, the truths uttered, the questions proposed by the
+so-called Infidel, demand of us that for their own sakes we give them
+generous, patient audience. The point of supreme importance is, not
+whether Mr. Ingersoll is an authority on the grave questions with which
+he is pleased to deal, but are these teachings truth? "There's the rub."
+If we are wise we shall judge the teachings rather than the teacher.
+
+Affrighted orthodox Christians are perpetually warning their young
+friends against Mr. Ingersoll. He is portrayed as a very terrible
+personage, going up and down to work sad havoc amongst the unsuspecting
+youth of the Time. Orthodoxy would prove itself wiser, it would be
+bolder, and it would give some slight guarantee for honesty, if it left
+the man alone, and addressed itself seriously to the grave questions at
+issue. Colonel Ingersoll shares with Huxley, Darwin and Herbert Spencer
+the high distinction of being criticized most vehemently by those who
+have never heard his voice, and have never carefully read a page of his
+published works; and as is always the case in such circumstances, the
+most absurd and exaggerated statements of what Mr. Ingersoll _never_
+said have become current, and the speaker has been transformed into a
+very Gorgon of horror!
+
+But this is nothing new, this is one of the many tolls that every man
+must be willing to pay who marches on the grand highway of freedom.
+
+The pages of this book deserve a careful study, and if it be true that
+"out of the fullness of the heart the mouth speaketh," we may judge from
+what sort of a heart-fountain these streams have flowed.
+
+One purpose steadily kept in view in the editing of these pages has been
+to present in compact and reasonable space, a thoroughly representative
+consensus of the opinions and beliefs of Mr. Ingersoll. Ha has been
+known chiefly by his severe attacks on theological orthodoxy; but
+there are a thousand other questions on which he has spoken wise and
+impressive words. There are few things in heaven and earth that his
+"philosophy" has not embraced, The quiet life of the farm; the romance
+and sanctity of home; the charm of childhood; the profound secrets of
+philosophy; the horrors of slavery; the dreadful scourge of war; the
+patriotism and valor of the soldiers of the Republic; the high calling
+of statesmanship, churches and priests; infidels and christians; gods
+and devils; orthodox and hetrodox; heaven and hell;--these, and a
+thousand other questions have been discussed with wit, and wisdom and
+matchless eloquence. This volume might have been increased to twice
+or thrice its present size, and then there would have been material to
+spare. But in these busy days economy of time is of great importance.
+This is a book for busy men in a very busy generation.
+
+It is matter of some little surprise that Mr. Ingersoll should have
+yielded--without protest--to the conventional use of the term "Infidel."
+The general sense in which the word is used is a gross misrepresentation
+of its accurate meaning. "Infidel," is the last word that ought to be
+applied to any man who is loyal to his mind; whether that mind summer
+in the light of steadfast belief, or wander through the mazy fields
+of doubt. "What is Infidelity?" There is no man more able, none more
+suitable than Col. Robert Ingersoll to rise and explain.
+
+Mr. Ingersoll has been called the Apostle of Unbelief. But the title
+is a misnomer. His mouth is full to the lips of positive statements of
+strong conviction. His creed has a thousand articles. He is above all
+things the Apostle of Freedom. Freedom for Nations, for Communities, for
+Men. Freedom everywhere! Freedom always! the zeal with which he blows
+the trumpet of Liberty, the enthusiasm with which he waves the banner of
+Freedom, reminds one of Tennyson's fine words:--
+
+     Of old stood Freedom on the heights,
+     The thunders breaking at her feet,
+     Above her shook the starry lights;
+     She heard the torrents meet.
+     Then stepped she down thro' town and field
+     To mingle with the human race,
+     And part by part to men revealed
+     The fullness of her face--
+     Her open eyes desire the truth,
+     The wisdom of a thousand years
+     Is in them.   May perpetual youth
+     Keep dry their light from tears;
+     That her fair form may stand and shine:
+     Make bright our days and light our dreams,
+     Tuning to scorn with lips divine
+     The falsehood of extremes!
+
+
+
+
+THE ROMANCE OF FARM LIFE
+
+
+
+
+1. Ingersoll as a Farmer
+
+When I was a farmer they used to haul wheat two hundred miles in wagons
+and sell it for thirty-five cents a bushel. They would bring home about
+three hundred feet of lumber, two bunches of shingles, a barrel of salt,
+and a cook-stove that never would draw and never did bake.
+
+In those blessed days the people lived on corn and bacon. Cooking was
+an unknown art. Eating was a necessity, not a pleasure. It was hard work
+for the cook to keep on good terms even with hunger. We had poor houses.
+The rain held the roofs in perfect contempt, and the snow drifted
+joyfully on the floors and beds. They had no barns. The horses were kept
+in rail pens surrounded with straw. Long before spring the sides would
+be eaten away and nothing but roofs would be left. Food is fuel. When
+the cattle were exposed to all the blasts of winter, it took all
+the corn and oats that could be stuffed into them to prevent actual
+starvation. In those times farmers thought the best place for the
+pig-pen was immediately in front of the house. There is nothing like
+sociability. Women were supposed to know the art of making fires without
+fuel. The wood-pile consisted, as a general thing, of one log, upon
+which an axe or two had been worn out in vain. There was nothing
+to kindle a fire with. Pickets were pulled from the garden fence,
+clap-boards taken from the house, and every stray plank was seized upon
+for kindling. Everything was done in the hardest way. Everything about
+the farm was disagreeable.
+
+
+
+
+2. The Happy Life of the Farm
+
+There is a quiet about the life of a farmer, and the hope of a
+serene old age, that no other business or profession can promise.
+A professional man is doomed some time to find that his powers are
+wanting. He is doomed to see younger and stronger men pass him in the
+race of life. He looks forward to an old age of intellectual mediocrity.
+He will be last where once he was the first. But the farmer goes as it
+were into partnership, with nature--he lives with trees and flowers--he
+breathes the sweet air of the fields. There is no constant and frightful
+strain upon his mind. His nights are filled with sleep and rest. He
+watches his flocks and herds as they feed upon the green and sunny
+<DW72>s. He hears the pleasant rain falling upon the waving corn, and the
+trees he planted in youth rustle above him as he plants others for the
+children yet to be.
+
+
+
+
+3. The Ambitious Farmer's Boy
+
+Nearly every farmer's boy took an oath that he would never cultivate
+the soil. The moment they arrived at the age of twenty-one they left
+the desolate and dreary farms and rushed to the towns and cities. They
+wanted to be book-keepers, doctors, merchants, railroad men, insurance
+agents, lawyers, even preachers, anything to avoid the drudgery of the
+farm. Nearly every boy acquainted with the three R's--reading, writing
+and arithmetic--imagined that he had altogether more education than
+ought to be wasted in raising potatoes and corn. They made haste to get
+into some other business. Those who stayed upon the farm envied those
+who went away.
+
+
+
+
+4. Never Be Afraid of Work!
+
+There are hundreds of graduates of Yale and Harvard and other colleges
+who are agents of sewing machines, solicitors for insurance, clerks and
+copyists, in short, performing a hundred varieties of menial service.
+They seem willing to do anything that is not regarded as work--anything
+that can be done in a town, in the house, in an office, but they avoid
+farming as they would leprosy. Nearly every young man educated in this
+way is simply ruined.
+
+Boys and girls should be educated to help themselves; they should be
+taught that it is disgraceful to be seen idle, and dishonorable to be
+useless.
+
+
+
+
+5. Happiness the Object of Life
+
+Remember, I pray you, that you are in partnership with all labor--that
+you should join hands with all the sons and daughters of toil, and that
+all who work belong to the same noble family.
+
+Happiness should be the object of life, and if life on the farm can be
+made really happy, the children will grow up in love with the meadows,
+the streams, the woods and the old home. Around the farm will cling and
+cluster the happy memories of the delight-ful years.
+
+
+
+
+6. The Sunset of the Farmer's Life
+
+For my part, I envy the man who has lived on the same broad acres from
+his boyhood, who cultivates the fields where in youth he played, and
+lives where his father lived and died. I can imagine no sweeter way to
+end one's life than in the quiet of the country, out of the mad race
+for money, place and power--far from the demands of business--out of the
+dusty highway where fools struggle and strive for the hoi ow praise of
+other fools. Surrounded by these pleasant fields and faithful friends,
+by those I have loved, I hope to end my days.
+
+
+
+
+7. Farmers, Protect Yourselves!
+
+The farmers should vote only for such men as are able and willing to
+guard and advance the interests of labor. We should know better than
+to vote for men who will deliberately put a tariff of three dollars
+a thousand upon Canada lumber, when every farmer in the States is a
+purchaser of lumber. People who live upon the prairies ought to vote for
+cheap lumber. We should protect ourselves. We ought to have intelligence
+enough to know what we want and how to get it. The real laboring men of
+this country can succeed if they are united. By laboring men, I do not
+mean only the farmers. I mean all who contribute in some way to the
+general welfare.
+
+
+
+
+8. Roast the Beef, Not the Cook.
+
+Farmers should live like princes. Eat the best things you raise and sell
+the rest. Have good things to cook and good things to cook with. Of all
+people in our country, you should live the best. Throw your miserable
+little stoves out of the window. Get ranges, and have them so built that
+your wife need not burn her face off to get you a breakfast. Do not make
+her cook in a kitchen hot as the orthodox perdition. The beef, not the
+cook, should be roasted. It is just as easy to have things convenient
+and right as to have them any other way.
+
+
+
+
+9. Cultivated Farmers.
+
+There is no reason why farmers should not be the kindest and most
+cultivated of men. There is nothing in plowing the fields to make men
+cross, cruel and crabbed. To look upon the sunny <DW72>s covered with
+daisies does not tend to make men unjust. Whoever labors for the
+happiness of those he loves, elevates himself, no matter whether he
+works in the dreary shop or the perfumed field.
+
+
+
+
+10. The Wages of Slovenly Farming.
+
+Nothing was kept in order. Nothing was preserved. The wagons stood
+in the sun and rain, and the plows rusted in the fields. There was
+no leisure, no feeling that the work was done. It was all labor and
+weariness and vexation of spirit. The crops were destroyed by wandering
+herds, or they were put in too late, or too early, or they were blown
+down, or caught by the frost, or devoured by bugs, or stung by flies,
+or eaten by worms, or carried away by birds, or dug up by gophers, or
+washed away by floods, or dried up by the sun, or rotted in the stack,
+or heated in the crib, or they all ran to vines, or tops, or straw, or
+cobs. And when in spite of all these accidents that lie in wait between
+the plow and reaper, they did succeed in raising a good crop and a high
+price was offered, then the roads would be impassable. And when the
+roads got good, then the prices went down. Everything worked together
+for evil.
+
+
+
+
+11. The Farmer's Happy Winter
+
+I can imagine no condition that carries with it such a promise of joy
+as that of the farmer in early winter. He has his cellar filled--he had
+made every preparation for the days of snow and storm--he looks forward
+to three months of ease and rest; to three months of fireside content;
+three months with wife and children; three months of long, delightful
+evenings; three months of home; three months of solid comfort.
+
+
+
+
+12. The Almighty Dollar
+
+Ainsworth R. Spofford--says Col. Ingersoll--gives the following facts
+about interest: "One dollar loaned for one hundred years at six per
+cent., with the interest collected annually and added to the principal,
+will amount to three hundred and forty dollars. At eight per cent, it
+amounts to two thousand two hundred and three dollars. At three per
+cent, it amounts only to nineteen dollars and twenty-five cents. At ten
+per cent, it is thirteen thousand eight hundred and nine dollars, or
+about seven hundred times as much. At twelve per cent, it amounts
+to eighty-four thousand and seventy-five dollars, or more than four
+thousand times as much. At eighteen per cent, it amounts to fifteen
+million one hundred and forty-five thousand and seven dollars. At
+twenty-four per cent, it reaches the enormous sum of two billion, five
+hundred and fifty-one million, seven hundred and ninety-five thousand,
+four hundred and four dollars!" One dollar at compound interest, at
+twenty-four per cent., for one hundred years, would produce a sum equal
+to our national debt.
+
+
+
+
+13. The Farmer in Debt
+
+Interest eats night and day, and the more it eats the hungrier it grows.
+The farmer in debt, lying awake at night, can, if he listens, hear it
+gnaw. If he owes nothing, he can hear his corn grow. Get out of debt,
+as soon as you possibly can. You have supported idle avarice and lazy
+economy long enough.
+
+
+
+
+14. Own Your Own Home
+
+There can be no such thing in the highest sense as a home unless you own
+it. There must be an incentive to plant trees, to beautify the grounds,
+to preserve and improve. It elevates a man to own a home. It gives a
+certain independence, a force of character that is obtained in no other
+way. A man without a home feels like a passenger. There is in such a man
+a little of the vagrant. Homes make patriots. He who has sat by his
+own fireside with wife and children, will defend it. Few men have been
+patriotic enough to shoulder a musket in defense of a boarding-house.
+The prosperity and glory of our country depend upon the number of people
+who are the owners of homes.
+
+
+
+
+15. What to do with the Idlers
+
+Our country is filled with the idle and unemployed, and the great
+question asking for an answer is: What shall be done with these men?
+What shall these men do? To this there is but one answer: They must
+cultivate the soil. Farming must be more attractive. Those who work
+the land must have an honest pride in their business. They must educate
+their children to cultivate the soil.
+
+
+
+
+16. Farm-Life Lonely
+
+I say again, if you want more men and women on the farms, something must
+be done to make farm-life pleasant. One great difficulty is that the
+farm is lonely. People write about the pleasures of solitude, but they
+are found only in books. He who lives long alone, becomes insane.
+
+
+
+
+17. The Best Farming States
+
+The farmer in the Middle States has the best soil--the greatest return
+for the least labor--more leisure--more time for enjoyment than any
+other farmer in the world. His hard work ceases with autumn. He has the
+long winters in which to become acquainted with his family--with his
+neighbors--in which to read and keep abreast with the advanced thought
+of his day. He has the time and means of self-culture. He has more time
+than the mechanic, the merchant or the professional man. If the farmer
+is not well informed it is his own fault. Books are cheap, and every
+farmer can have enough to give him the outline of every science, and an
+idea of all that has been accomplished by man.
+
+
+
+
+18. The Laborers, the Kings and Queens
+
+The farmer has been elevated through science, and he should not forget
+the debt he owes to the mechanic, to the inventor, to the thinker. He
+should remember that all laborers belong to the same grand family--that
+they are the real kings and queens, the only true nobility.
+
+
+
+
+HOME AND CHILDREN
+
+
+
+
+19. The Family the Only Heaven in this World
+
+Don't make that poor girl play ten years on a piano when she has no
+ear for music, and when she has practiced until she can play "Bonaparte
+Crossing the Alps," you can't tell after she has played it whether
+Bonaparte ever got across or not. Men are oaks, women are vines,
+children are flowers, and if there is any Heaven in this world it is
+in the family. It is where the wife loves the husband, and the husband
+loves the wife, and where the dimpled arms of children are about the
+necks of both.
+
+
+
+
+20. The Far-Seeing Eyes of Children.
+
+I want to tell you this, you cannot get the robe of hypocrisy on you so
+thick that the sharp eye of childhood will not see through every veil.
+
+
+
+
+21. Love and Freedom in a Cabin
+
+I would rather go to the forest far away and build me a little
+cabin--build it myself and daub it with mud, and live there with my wife
+aud family--and have a little path that led down to the spring, where
+the water bubbled out day and night, like a little poem from the heart
+of the earth; a little hut with some hollyhocks at the corner, with
+their bannered bosoms open to the sun, and with the thrush in the air,
+like a song of joy in the morning; I would rather live there and have
+some lattice work across the window, so that the sunlight would fall
+checkered on the baby in the cradle; I would rather live there and have
+my soul erect and free, than to live in a palace of gold and wear the
+crown of imperial power and know that my soul was slimy with hypocrisy.
+
+
+
+
+22. The Turnpike Road of Happiness
+
+Whoever marries simply for himself will make a mistake; but whoever
+loves a woman so well that he says, "I will make her happy," makes no
+mistake; and so with the woman who says, "I will make him happy." There
+is only one way to be happy, and that is to make somebody else so, and
+you can't be happy cross-lots; you have got to go the regular turnpike
+road.
+
+
+
+
+23. Love Paying Ten Per Cent
+
+I tell you to-night there is on the average more love in the homes of
+the poor than in the palaces of the rich; and the meanest hut with love
+in it is fit for the gods, and a palace without love is a den only fit
+for wild beasts. That's my doctrine! You can't be so poor but that you
+can help somebody. Good nature is the cheapest commodity in the world;
+and love is the only thing that will pay ten per cent, to borrower and
+lender both. Don't tell me that you have got to be rich! We have all a
+false standard of greatness in the United States. We think here that a
+man to be great must be notorious; he must be extremely wealthy or his
+name must be between the lips of rumor. It is all nonsense! It is not
+necessary to be rich to be great, or to be powerful to be happy; and the
+happy man is the successful man. Happiness is the legal-tender of the
+soul. Joy is wealth.
+
+
+
+
+24. A Word to the Cross-Grained
+
+A cross man I hate above all things. What right has he to murder the
+sunshine of the day? What right has he to assassinate the joy of life?
+When you go home you ought to feel the light there is in the house;
+if it is in the night it will burst out of the doors and windows and
+illuminate the darkness. It is just as well to go home a ray of sunshine
+as an old, sour, cross curmudgeon, who thinks he is the head of the
+family. Wise men think their mighty brains have been in a turmoil; they
+have been thinking about who will be alderman from the Fifth ward; they
+have been thinking about politics; great and mighty questions have been
+engaging their minds; they have bought calico at eight cents or six, and
+want to sell it for seven. Think of the intellectual strain that must
+have been upon a man, and when he gets home everybody else in the house
+must look out for his comfort. Head of the house, indeed! I don't like
+him a bit!
+
+
+
+
+25. Oh! Daughters and Wives be Beautiful
+
+I am a believer in fashion. It is the duty of every woman to make
+herself as beautiful and attractive as she possibly can. "Handsome is
+as handsome does," but she is much handsomer if well dressed. Every man
+should look his very best. I am a believer in good clothes. The time
+never ought to come in this country when you can tell a farmer's
+daughter simply by the garments she wears. I say to every girl and
+woman, no matter what the material of your dress may be, no matter how
+cheap and coarse it is, cut it and make it in the fashion. I believe
+in jewelry. Some people look upon it as barbaric, but in my judgment,
+wearing jewelry is the first evidence the barbarian gives of a wish to
+be civilized. To adorn ourselves seems to be a part of our nature, and
+this desire, seems to be everywhere and in everything. I have sometimes
+thought that the desire for beauty covers the earth with flowers. It
+is this desire that paints the wings of moths, tints the chamber of the
+shell, and gives the bird its plumage and its song. Oh! daughters and
+wives if you would be loved, adorn yourselves--if you would be adorned,
+be beautiful!
+
+
+
+
+26. A Wholesome Word to the Stingy
+
+I despise a stingy man. I don't see how it is possible for a man to die
+worth fifty millions of dollars or ten millions of dollars, in a city
+full of want, when he meets almost every day the withered hand of
+beggary and the white lips of famine. How a man can withstand all
+that, and hold in the clutch of his greed twenty or thirty millions
+of dollars, is past my comprehension. I do not see how he can do it. I
+should not think he could do it any more than he could keep a pile of
+lumber where hundreds and thousands of men were drowning in the sea. I
+should not think he could do it. Do you know I have known men who would
+trust their wives with their hearts and their honor, but not with their
+pocketbook; not with a dollar. When I see a man of that kind I always
+think he knows which of these articles is the most valuable.
+
+
+
+
+27. The Boss of the Family
+
+If you are the grand emperor of the world, you had better be the grand
+emperor of one loving and tender heart, and she the grand empress of
+yours. The man who has really won the love of one good woman in this
+world, I do not care if he dies a beggar, his life has been a success.
+I tell you it is an infamous word and an infamous feeling--a man who is
+"boss," who is going to govern in his family; and when he speaks let all
+the rest of them be still; some mighty idea is about to be launched from
+his mouth. Do you know I dislike this man?
+
+
+
+
+28. Be Honor Bright!
+
+A good way to make children tell the truth is to tell it yourself. Keep
+your word with your child the same as you would with your banker. Be
+perfectly honor bright with your children, and they will be your friends
+when you are old.
+
+
+
+
+29. The Opera at the Table
+
+I like to hear children at the table telling what big things they have
+seen during the day; I like to hear their merry voices mingling with the
+clatter of knives and forks. I had rather hear that than any opera that
+was ever put upon the stage. I hate this idea of authority.
+
+
+
+
+30. A Child's laugh sweeter than Apollo's lyre
+
+I said, and I say again, no day can be so sacred but that the laugh of
+a child will make the holiest day more sacred still. Strike with hand
+of fire, oh, weird musician, thy harp, strung with Apollo's golden
+hair; fill the vast cathedral aisles with symphonies sweet and dim, deft
+toucher of the organ keys; blow, bugler, blow, until thy silver notes do
+touch the skies, with moonlit waves, and charm the lovers wandering on
+the vine-clad hills: but know, your sweetest strains are discords all,
+compared with childhood's happy laugh, the laugh that fills the eyes
+with light and every heart with joy; oh, rippling river of life, thou
+art the blessed boundary-line between the beasts and man, and every
+wayward wave of thine doth drown some fiend of care; oh, laughter,
+divine daughter of joy, make dimples enough in the cheeks of the world
+to catch and hold and glorify all the tears of grief.
+
+
+
+
+31. Don't Wake the Children
+
+Let your children sleep. Do not drag them from their beds in the
+darkness of night. Do not compel them to associate all that is tiresome,
+irksome and dreadful with cultivating the soil. Treat your children with
+infinite kindness--treat them as equals. There is no happiness in a home
+not filled with love. When the husband hates his wife--where the wife
+hates the husband; where the children hate their parents and each
+other--there is a hell upon earth.
+
+
+
+
+32. How to Deal with Children
+
+Some Christians act as though they thought when the Lord said, "Suffer
+little children to come unto me," that he had a rawhide under his
+mantle--they act as if they thought so. That is all wrong. I tell my
+children this: Go where you may, commit what crime you may, fall to what
+depths of degradation you may, I can never shut my arms, my heart or my
+door to you. As long as I live you shall have one sincere friend; do not
+be afraid to tell anything wrong you have done; ten to one if I have not
+done the same thing. I am not perfection, and if it is necessary to sin
+in order to have sympathy, I am glad I have committed sin enough to have
+sympathy. The sterness of perfection I do not want. I am going to live
+so that my children can come to my grave and truthfully say, "He who
+sleeps here never gave us one moment of pain." Whether you call that
+religion or infidelity, suit yourselves; that is the way I intend to do
+it.
+
+
+
+
+33. Give a Child a Chance
+
+Do not create a child to be a post set in an orthodox row; raise
+investigators and thinkers, not disciples and followers; cultivate
+reason, not faith; cultivate investigation, not superstition; and if
+you have any doubt yourself about a thing being so, tell them about it;
+don't tell them the world was made in six days--if you think six days
+means six good whiles, tell them six good whiles. If you have any doubts
+about anybody being in a furnace and not being burnt, or even getting
+uncomfortably warm, tell them so--be honest about it. If you look upon
+the jaw-bone of a donkey as not a good weapon, say so. Give a child a
+chance. If you think a man never went to sea in a fish, tell them so, it
+won't make them any worse. Be honest--that's all; don't cram their heads
+with things that will take them years to unlearn; tell them facts--it
+is just as easy. It is as easy to find out botany, and astronomy, and
+geology, and history--it is as easy to find out all these things as to
+cram their minds with things you know nothing about.
+
+
+
+
+34. The Greatest Liars in Michigan
+
+I was over in Michigan the other day. There was a boy over there at
+Grand Rapids about five or six years old, a nice, smart boy, as you will
+see from the remark he made--what you might call a nineteenth century
+boy. His father and mother had promised to take him out riding for about
+three weeks, and they would slip off and go without him. Well, after
+a while that got kind of played out with the little boy, and the day
+before I was there they played the trick on him again. They went out and
+got the carriage, and went away, and as they rode away from the front of
+the house, he happened to be standing there with his nurse, and he
+saw them. The whole thing flashed on him in a moment. He took in the
+situation, and turned to his nurse and said, pointing to his father and
+mother: "There go the two biggest liars in the State of Michigan!" When
+you go home fill the house with joy, so that the light of it will stream
+out the windows and doors, and illuminate even the darkness. It is just
+as easy that way as any in the world.
+
+
+
+
+35. Forgive the Children!
+
+When your child confesses to you that it has com mitted a fault, take
+the child in your arms, and let it feel your heart beat against its
+heart, and raise your children in the sunlight of love, and they will be
+sunbeams to you along the pathway of life. Abolish the club and the whip
+from the house, because, if the civilized use a whip, the ignorant and
+the brutal will use a club, and they will use it because you use the
+whip.
+
+
+
+
+36. A Solemn Satire on Whipping Children
+
+If there is one of you here that ever expect to whip your child again,
+let me ask you something. Have your photograph taken at the time, and
+let it show your face red with vulgar anger, and the face of the little
+one with eyes swimming in tears. If that little child should die I
+cannot think of a sweeter way to spend an Autumn afternoon than to take
+that photograph and go to the cemetery, where the maples are clad in
+tender gold, and when little scarlet runners are coming, like poems of
+regret, from the sad heart of the earth; and sit down upon that mound,
+I look upon that photograph, and think of the flesh, made dust, that you
+beat. Just think of it. I could not bear to die in the arms of a child
+that I had whipped. I could not bear to feel upon my lips, when they
+were withering beneath the touch of death, the kiss of one that I had
+struck.
+
+
+
+
+37. The Whips and Gods are Gone!
+
+Children are better treated than they used to be; the old whips and
+gods are out of the schools, and they are governing children by love and
+sense. The world is getting better; it is getting better in Maine. It
+has got better in Maine, in Vermont. It is getting better in every State
+of the North.
+
+
+
+
+INDIVIDUALITY
+
+
+
+
+38. Absolute Independence of the Individual
+
+What we want to-day is what our fathers wrote. They did not attain to
+their ideal; we approach it nearer, but have not yet reached it. We
+want, not only the independence of a state, not only the independence of
+a nation, but something far more glorious--the absolute independence of
+the individual. That is what we want. I want it so that I, one of the
+children of Nature, can stand on an equality with the rest; that I can
+say this is my air, my sunshine, my earth, and I have a right to live,
+and hope, and aspire, and labor, and enjoy the fruit of that labor, as
+much as any individual, or any nation on the face of the globe.
+
+
+
+
+39. Saved by Disobedience
+
+I tell you there is something splendid in man that will not always mind.
+Why, if we had done as the kings told us five hundred years ago, we
+would all have been slaves. If we had done as the priests told us, we
+would all have been idiots. If we had done as the doctors told us, we
+would all have been dead. We have been saved by disobedience. We have
+been saved by that splendid thing called independence, and I want to
+see more of it, day after day, and I want to see children raised so they
+will have it. That is my doctrine.
+
+
+
+
+40. Intellectual Tyranny
+
+Nothing can be more infamous than intellectual tyranny. To put chains
+upon the body is as nothing compared with putting shackles on the brain.
+No god is entitled to the worship or the respect of man who does not
+give, even to the meanest of his children, every right that he claims
+for himself.
+
+
+
+
+41. Say What You Think
+
+I do not believe that the tendency is to make men and women brave and
+glorious when you tell them that there are certain ideas upon certain
+subjects that they must never express; that they must go through life
+with a pretense as a shield; that their neighbors will think much more
+of them if they will only keep still; and that above all is a God who
+despises one who honestly expresses what he believes. For my part, I
+believe men will be nearer honest in business, in politics, grander in
+art--in everything that is good and grand and beautiful, if they are
+taught from the cradle to the coffin to tell their honest opinions.
+
+
+
+
+42. I Want to Put Out the Fires of Hell
+
+Some people tell me that I take away the hope of immortality. I do not.
+Leave heaven as it was! I want to put out the fires of hell. I want to
+transfer the war from this earth to heaven. Some tell me Jehovah is God,
+and another says Ali is God, and another that Brahma is God. I say, let
+Jehovah, and Ali, and Brahma fight it out. Let them fight it out there,
+and whoever is victor, to that God I will bow.
+
+
+
+
+43. The Puritans
+
+When the Puritans first came they were narrow. They did not understand
+what liberty meant--what religious liberty, what political liberty, was;
+but they found out in a few years. There was one feeling among them that
+rises to their eternal honor like a white shaft to the clouds--they were
+in favor of universal education. Wherever they went they built school
+houses, introduced books, and ideas of literature. They believed that
+every man should know how to read and how to write, and should find out
+all that his capacity allowed him to comprehend. That is the glory of
+the Puritan fathers.
+
+
+
+
+44. A Star in the Sky of Despair
+
+Every Christian, every philanthropist, every believer in human liberty,
+should feel under obligation to Thomas Paine for the splendid service
+rendered by him in the darkest days of the American Revolution. In the
+midnight of Valley Forge, "The Crisis" was the first star that glittered
+in the wide horizon of despair. Every good man should remember with
+gratitude the brave words spoken by Thomas Paine in the French
+Convention against the death of Louis. He said: "We will kill the king,
+but not the man. We will destroy monarchy, not monarch."
+
+
+
+
+45. Do not Shock the Heathen!
+
+You send missionaries to Turkey, and tell them that the Koran is a lie.
+You shock them. You tell them that Mahomet was not a prophet. You shock
+them. It is too bad to shock them. You go to India, and you tell them
+that Vishnu was nothing, that Purana was nothing, that Buddha was
+nobody, and your Brahma, he is nothing. Why do you shock these people?
+You should not do that; you ought not to hurt their feelings. I tell you
+no man on earth has a right to be shocked at the expression of an honest
+opinion when it is kindly done, and I don't believe there is any God in
+the universe who has put a curtain over the fact and made it a crime for
+the honest hand of investigation to endeavor to draw that curtain.
+
+
+
+
+46. I will Settle with God Myself
+
+They say to me, "God will punish you forever, if you do these things."
+Very well. I will settle with him. I had rather settle with him than
+any one of his agents. I do not like them very well. In theology I am a
+granger--I do not believe in middlemen. What little business I have with
+Heaven I will attend to myself.
+
+
+
+
+47. I Claim my Right to Guess
+
+I claim, standing under the flag of nature, under the blue and the
+stars, that I am the peer of any other man, and have the right to think
+and express my thoughts. I claim that in the presence of the Unknown,
+and upon a subject that nobody knows anything about, and never did, I
+have as good a right to _guess_ as anybody else.
+
+
+
+
+48. The Brain a Castle
+
+Surely it is worth something to feel that there are no priests, no
+popes, no parties, no governments, no kings, no gods, to whom your
+intellect can be compelled to pay reluctant homage. Surely it is a joy
+to know that all the cruel ingenuity of bigotry can devise no prison,
+no dungeon, no cell in which for one instant to confine a thought; that
+ideas cannot be dislocated by racks, nor crushed in iron boots, nor
+burned with fire. Surely it is sublime to think that the brain is a
+castle, and that within its curious bastions and winding halls the
+soul, in spite of all words and all beings, is the supreme sovereign of
+itself.
+
+
+
+
+49. I am Something
+
+The universe is all there is, or was, or will be. It is both subject and
+object; contemplator and contemplated; creator and created; destroyer
+and destroyed; preserver and preserved; and hath within itself all
+causes, modes, motions, and effects. In this there is hope. This is a
+foundation and a star. The infinite embraces all there is. Without the
+all, the infinite cannot be. I am something. Without me the universe
+cannot exist.
+
+
+
+
+50. Every Man a Bight to Think
+
+Now we have come to the conclusion that every man has a right to think.
+Would God give a bird wings and make it a crime to fly? Would he give me
+brains and make it a crime to think? Any God that would damn one of his
+children for the expression of his honest thought wouldn't make a decent
+thief. When I read a book and don't believe it, I ought to say so. I
+will do so and take the consequence like a man.
+
+
+
+
+51. Too Early to Write a Creed
+
+These are the excuses I have for my race, and taking everything into
+consideration, I think we have done extremely well. Let us have more
+liberty and free thought. Free thought will give us truth. It is too
+early in the history of the world to write a creed. Our fathers were
+intellectual slaves; our fathers were intellectual serfs. There never
+has been a free generation on the globe. Every creed you have got bears
+the mark of whip, and chain, and fagot.
+
+There has been no creed written by a free brain. Wait until we have had
+two or three generations of liberty and it will then be time enough to
+seize the swift horse of progress by the bridle and say--thus far and
+no farther; and in the meantime let us be kind to each other; let us be
+decent towards each other. We are all travelers on the great plain we
+call life, and there is nobody quite sure what road to take--not just
+dead sure, you know. There are lots of guide-boards on the plain and you
+find thousands of people swearing to-day that their guide-board is the
+only board that shows the right direction. I go and talk to them and
+they say: "You go that way, or you will be damned." I go to another and
+they say: "You go this way, or you will be damned."
+
+
+
+
+52. Every Mind True to Itself
+
+In my judgment, every human being should take a road of his own. Every
+mind should be true to itself--should think, investigate and conclude
+for itself. This is a duty alike incumbent upon pauper and prince.
+
+
+
+
+PROGRESS
+
+
+
+
+53. The Torch of Progress.
+
+In every age some men carried the torch of progress and handed it
+to some other, and it has been carried through all the dark ages of
+barbarism, and had it not been for such men we would have been naked
+and uncivilized to-night, with pictures of wild beasts tattooed on our
+skins, dancing around some dried snake fetish.
+
+
+
+
+54. Gold makes a Barren Landscape
+
+Only a few days ago I was where they wrench the precious metals from
+the miserly clutch of the rocks. When I saw the mountains; treeless,
+shrubless, flowerless, without even a spire of grass, it seemed to me
+that gold had the same effect upon the country that holds it, as upon
+the man who lives and labors only for it. It affects the land as it
+does the man. It leaves the heart barren without a flower of
+kindness--without a blossom of pity.
+
+
+
+
+55. A Grand Achievement
+
+There is nothing grander than to rescue from the leprosy of slander the
+reputation of a great and generous name. There is nothing nobler than to
+benefit our benefactors.
+
+
+
+
+56. The Divorce of Church and State
+
+The Constitution of the United States was the first decree entered in
+the high court of a nation, forever divorcing Church and State.
+
+
+
+
+57. Professors
+
+Instead of dismissing professors for finding something out, let us
+rather discharge those who do not. Let each teacher understand that
+investigation is not dangerous for him; that his bread is safe, no
+matter how much truth he may discover, and that his salary will not be
+reduced, simply because he finds that the ancient Jews did not know the
+entire history of the world.
+
+
+
+
+58. Developement
+
+I thought after all I had rather belong to a race of people that came
+from skulless vertebrae in the dim Laurentian period, that wiggled
+without knowing they were wiggling, that began to develope and came up
+by a gradual developement until they struck this gentleman in the dugout
+coming up slowly--up--up--up--until, for instance, they produced such a
+man as Shakespeare--he who harvested all the fields of dramatic thought,
+and after whom all others have been only gleaners of straw, he who found
+the human intellect dwelling in a hut, touched it with the wand of his
+genius and it became a palace--producing him and hundreds of others I
+might mention--with the angels of progress leaning over the far horizon
+beckoning this race of work and thought--I had rather belong to a race
+commencing at the skulless vertebrae producing the gentleman in the
+dugout and so on up, than to have descended from a perfect pair, upon
+which the Lord has lost money from that day to this. I had rather belong
+to a race that is going up than to one that is going down. I would
+rather belong to one that commenced at the skulless vertebrae and
+started for perfection, than to belong to one that started from
+perfection and started for the skulless vertebrae.
+
+
+
+
+59. Poet's Dream
+
+When every church becomes a school, every cathedral a university, every
+clergyman a teacher, and all their hearers brave and honest
+thinkers, then, and not until then, will the dream of poet, patriot,
+philanthropist and philosopher, become a real and blessed truth.
+
+
+
+
+60. The Temple of the Future
+
+We are laying the foundations of the grand temple of the future--not the
+temple of all the gods, but of all the people--wherein, with appropriate
+rites, will be celebrated the religion of Humanity. We are doing what
+little we can to hasten the coming of the day when society shall cease
+producing millionaires and mendicants--gorged indolence and famished
+industry--truth in rags, and superstition robed and crowned. We are
+looking for the time when the useful shall be the honorable; and when
+Reason, throned upon the world's brain, shall be the King of Kings, and
+God of Gods.
+
+
+
+
+61. The final Goal
+
+We do not expect to accomplish everything in our day; but we want to
+do what good we can, and to render all the service possible in the
+holy cause of human progress. We know that doing away with gods and
+supernatural persons and powers is not an end. It is a means to the end;
+the real end being the happiness of man.
+
+
+
+
+62. The Eighteenth Century
+
+At that time the seeds sown by the great Infidels were beginning to
+bear fruit in France. The people were beginning to think. The Eighteenth
+Century was crowning its gray hairs with the wreath of Progress. On
+every hand Science was bearing testimony against the Church. Voltaire
+had filled Europe with light; D'Holbach was giving to the _elite_
+of Paris the principles contained in his "System of Nature." The
+Encyclopedists had attacked superstition with information for the
+masses. The foundation of things began to be examined. A few had the
+courage to keep their shoes on and let the bush burn. Miracles began to
+get scarce. Everywhere the people began to inquire. America had set an
+example to the world. The word Liberty was in the mouths of men, and
+they began to wipe the dust from their knees. The dawn of a new day had
+appeared.
+
+
+
+
+POLITICAL QUESTIONS
+
+
+
+
+63. Liberty--Fraternity--Equality!
+
+All who stand beneath our banner are free. Ours is the only flag that
+has in reality written upon it: Liberty, Fraternity, Equality--the three
+grandest words in all the languages of men. Liberty: Give to every man
+the fruit of his own labor--the labor of his hand and of his brain.
+Fraternity: Every man in the right is my brother. Equality: The rights
+of all are equal. No race, no color, no previous condition, can change
+the rights of men. The Declaration of Independence has at last been
+carried out in letter and in spirit. To-day the black man looks upon his
+child and says: The avenues of distinction are open to you--upon your
+brow may fall the civic wreath. We are celebrating the courage and
+wisdom of our fathers, and the glad shout of a free people, the anthem
+of a grand nation, commencing at the Atlantic, is following the sun to
+the Pacific, across a continent of happy homes.
+
+
+
+
+64. Liberty!
+
+Is it nothing to free the mind? Is it nothing to civilize mankind? Is it
+nothing to fill the world with light, with discovery, with science?
+Is it nothing to dignify man and exalt the intellect? Is it nothing to
+grope your way into the dreary prisons, the damp and dropping dungeons,
+the dark and silent cells of superstition, where the souls of men
+are chained to floors of stone? Is it nothing to conduct these souls
+gradually into the blessed light of day,--to let them see again the
+happy fields, the sweet, green earth, and hear the everlasting music of
+the waves? Is it nothing to make men wipe the dust from their swollen
+knees, the tears from their blanched and furrowed cheeks? Is it nothing
+to relieve the heavens of an insatiate monster, and write upon the
+eternal dome, glittering with stars, the grand word--Liberty?
+
+
+
+
+65. Ingersoll Not a Politician
+
+I want it perfectly understood that I am not a politician. I believe in
+liberty, and I want to see the time when every man, woman and child will
+enjoy every human right.
+
+
+
+
+66. Civilization
+
+Civilization is the child of free thought. The new world has drifted
+away from the rotten wharf of superstition. The politics of this country
+are being settled by the new ideas of individual liberty, and parties
+and churches that cannot accept the new truths must perish.
+
+
+
+
+67. Cornell University
+
+With the single exception of Cornell, there is not a college in the
+United States where truth has ever been a welcome guest. The moment one
+of the teachers denies the inspiration of the Bible, he is discharged.
+If he discovers a fact inconsistent with that book, so much the worse
+for the fact, and especially for the discoverer of the fact. He must not
+corrupt the minds of his pupils with demonstrations. He must beware
+of every truth that cannot, in some way, be made to harmonize with the
+superstitions of the Jews. Science has nothing in common with religion.
+
+
+
+
+68. Church and School Divorced
+
+Our country will never be filled with great institutions of learning
+until there is an absolute divorce between church and school. As long
+as the mutilated records of a barbarous people are placed by priest and
+professor above the reason of mankind, we shall reap but little benefit
+from church or school.
+
+
+
+
+69. Laws That Want Repealing
+
+All laws defining and punishing blasphemy--making it a crime to give
+your honest ideas about the Bible, or to laugh at the ignorance of
+the ancient Jews, or to enjoy yourself on the Sabbath, or to give your
+opinion of Jehovah, were passed by impudent bigots, and should be at
+once repealed by honest men.
+
+
+
+
+70. Government Secular
+
+Our government should be entirely and purely secular. The religious
+views of a candidate should be kept entirely out of sight. He should not
+be compelled to give his opinion as to the inspiration of the bible,
+the propriety of infant baptism, or the immaculate conception. All these
+things are private and personal. He should be allowed to settle such
+things for himself.
+
+
+
+
+71. 1876! (1776?)
+
+In 1876, our forefathers retired God from politics. They said all
+power comes from the people. They kept God out of the Constitution, and
+allowed each State to settle the question for itself.
+
+
+
+
+72. Candidates Made Hypocrites
+
+Candidates are forced to pretend that they are Catholics with Protestant
+proclivities, or Christians with liberal tendencies, or temperance men
+who now and then take a glass of wine, or, that although not members of
+any church their wives are, and that they subscribe liberally to
+all. The result of all this is that we reward hypocrisy and elect men
+entirely destitute of real principle; and this will never change until
+the people become grand enough to allow each other to do their own
+thinking.
+
+
+
+
+73. The Church and the Throne
+
+So our fathers said: "We shall form a secular government, and under the
+flag with which we are going to enrich the air, we will allow every man
+to worship God as he thinks best." They said: "Religion is an individual
+thing between each man and his Creator, and he can worship as he pleases
+and as he desires." And why did they do this? The history of the world
+warned them that the liberty of man was not safe in the clutch and grasp
+of any church. They had read of and seen the thumbscrews, the racks and
+the dungeons of the inquisition. They knew all about the hypocrisy of
+the olden time. They knew that the church had stood side by side with
+the throne; that the high priests were hypocrites, and that the kings
+were robbers. They also knew that if they gave to any church power, it
+would corrupt the best church in the world. And so they said that power
+must not reside in a church, nor in a sect, but power must be wherever
+humanity is--in the great body of the people. And the officers and
+servants of the people must be responsible. And so I say again, as
+I said in the commencement, this is the wisest, the profoundest, the
+bravest political document that ever was written and signed by man.
+
+
+
+
+74. The Old Idea
+
+What was the old idea? The old idea was that no political power came
+from, nor in any manner belonged to, the people. The old idea was that
+the political power came from the clouds; that the political power came
+in some miraculous way from heaven; that it came down to kings, and
+queens, and robbers. That was the old idea. The nobles lived upon the
+labor of the people; the people had no rights; the nobles stole what
+they had and divided with the kings, and the kings pretended to divide
+what they stole with God Almighty. The source, then, of political power
+was from above. The people were responsible to the nobles, the nobles to
+the king, and the people had no political rights whatever, no more than
+the wild beasts of the forest. The kings were responsible to God, not to
+the people. The kings were responsible to the clouds, not to the toiling
+millions they robbed and plundered.
+
+
+
+
+75. Liberty for Politicians
+
+I would like also to liberate the politician. At present, the successful
+office-seeker is a good deal like the centre of the earth; he weighs
+nothing himself, but draws everything else to him. There are so many
+societies, so many churches, so many isms, that it is almost impossible
+for an independent man to succeed in a political career.
+
+
+
+
+76. Tax all Church Property
+
+I am in favor of the taxation of all church property. If that property
+belongs to God, he is able to pay the tax. If we exempt anything, let
+us exempt the home of the widow and orphan. The church has to-day
+$600,000,000 or $700,000,000 of property in this country. It must cost
+$2,000,000 a week, that is to say $500 a minute to run these churches.
+You give me this money and if I don't do more good with it than
+four times as many churches I'll resign. Let them make the churches
+attractive and they'll get more hearers. They will have less empty pews
+if they have less empty heads in the pulpit. The time will come when the
+preacher will become a teacher.
+
+
+
+
+77. The Source of Power
+
+The Declaration of Independence announces the sublime truth, that all
+power comes from the people. This was a denial, and the first denial of
+a nation, of the infamous dogma that God confers the right upon one man
+to govern others. It was the first grand assertion of the dignity of the
+human race. It declared the governed to be the source of power, and in
+fact denied the authority of any and all gods.
+
+
+
+
+78. The Best Blood of the Old Word come to the New
+
+The kings of the old world endeavored to parcel out this land to their
+favorites. But there were too many Indians. There was too much courage
+required for them to take and keep it, and so men had to come here
+who were dissatisfied with the old country--who were dissatisfied
+with England, dissatisfied with France, with Germany, with Ireland and
+Holland. The king's favorites stayed at home. Men came here for liberty,
+and on account of certain principles they entertained and held dearer
+than life. And they were willing to work, willing to fell the forests,
+to fight the savages, willing to go through all the hardships, perils
+and dangers of a new country, of a new land; and the consequences was
+that our country was settled by brave and adventurous spirits, by men
+who had opinions of their own, and were willing to live in the wild
+forests for the sake of expressing those opinions, even if they
+expressed them only to trees, rocks, and savage men. The best blood of
+the old world came to the new.
+
+
+
+
+79. No State Church
+
+Happily for us, there was no church strong enough to dictate to the
+rest. Fortunately for us, the colonists not only, but the colonies
+differed widely in their religious views. There were the Puritans who
+hated the Episcopalians, and Episcopalians who hated the Catholics,
+and the Catholics who hated both, while the Quakers held them all in
+contempt. There they were of every sort, and color, and kind, and how
+was it that they came together? They had a common aspiration. They
+wanted to form a new nation. More than that, most of them cordially
+hated Great Britain; and they pledged each other to forget these
+religious prejudices, for a time at least, and agreed that there should
+be only one religion until they got through, and that was the religion
+of patriotism. They solemnly agreed that the new nation should not
+belong to any particular church, but that it should secure the rights of
+all.
+
+
+
+
+80. The Enthusiasts of 1776
+
+These grand men were enthusiasts; and the world has only been raised
+by enthusiasts. In every country there have been a few who have given
+a national aspiration to the people. The enthusiasts of 1776 were the
+builders and framers of this great and splendid government; and they
+were the men who saw, although others did not, the golden fringe of the
+mantle of glory, that will finally cover this world. They knew, they
+felt, they believed they would give a new constellation to the political
+heavens--that they would make the Americans a grand people--grand as
+the continent upon which they lived.
+
+
+
+
+81. The Church Must Have no Sword
+
+Our fathers founded the first secular government that was ever founded
+in this world. Recollect that. The first secular government; the first
+government that said every church has exactly the same rights and no
+more. In other words our fathers were the first men who had the sense,
+had the genius, to know that no church should be allowed to have a
+sword; that it should be allowed only to exert its moral influence.
+
+
+
+
+82. We are All of Us Kings! I want the power where some one can use
+it. As long as a man is responsible to the people there is no fear of
+despotism. There's no reigning family in this country. We are all of
+us Kings. We are the reigning family. And when any man talks about
+despotism, you may be sure he wants to steal or be up to devilment. If
+we have any sense, we have got to have localization of brain. If we have
+any power, we must have centralization. We want centralization of the
+right kind. The man we choose for our head wants the army in one hand,
+the navy in the other; and to execute the supreme will of the supreme
+people.
+
+
+
+
+83. Honesty Tells!
+
+In the long run the nation that is honest, the people that are
+industrious, will pass the people that are dishonest, the people that
+are idle; no matter what grand ancestry they might have had.
+
+
+
+
+84. Working for Others.
+
+To work for others is, in reality, the only way in which a man can work
+for himself. Selfishness is ignorance. Speculators cannot make unless
+somebody loses. In the realm of speculation, every success has at least
+one victim. The harvest reaped by the farmer benefits all and injures
+none. For him to succeed, it is not necessary that some one should fail.
+The same is true of all producers--of all laborers.
+
+
+
+
+85. State Sovereignty
+
+I despise the doctrine of State sovereignty. I believe in the rights
+of the States, but not in the sovereignty of the States. States are
+political conveniences. Rising above States as the Alps above valleys
+are the rights of man. Rising above the rights of the government even in
+this Nation are the sublime rights of the people. Governments are good
+only so long as they protect human rights. But the rights of a man never
+should be sacrificed upon the altar of the State or upon the altar of
+the Nation.
+
+
+
+
+86. The King of America
+
+I am not only in favor of free speech, but I am also in favor of an
+absolutely honest ballot. There is one king in this country; there
+is one emperor; there is one supreme czar; and that is the legally
+expressed will of the majority of the people. The man who casts an
+illegal vote, the man who refuses to count a legal vote, poisons the
+fountain of power, poisons the spring of justice, and is a traitor to
+the only king in this land. I have always said, and I say again, that
+the more liberty there is given away the more you have. There is room in
+this world for us all; there is room enough for all of our thoughts;
+out upon the intellectual sea there is room for every sail, and in the
+intellectual air there is space for every wing. A man that exercises a
+right that he will not give to others is a barbarian. A State that does
+not allow free speech is uncivilized, and is a disgrace to the American
+Union.
+
+
+
+
+87. Years Without Seeing a Dollar!
+
+I have been told that during the war we had plenty of money. I never saw
+it. I lived years without seeing a dollar. I saw promises for dollars,
+but not dollars. And the greenback, unless you have the gold behind it,
+is no more a dollar than a bill of fare is a dinner. You cannot make
+a paper dollar without taking a dollar's worth of paper. We must have
+paper that represents money. I want it issued by the government, and I
+want behind every one of these dollars either a gold or silver dollar,
+so that every greenback under the flag can lift up its hand and swear,
+"I know that my redeemer liveth."
+
+
+
+
+88. The Wail of Dead Nations
+
+A government founded upon anything except liberty and justice cannot and
+ought not to stand. All the wrecks on either side of the stream of time,
+all the wrecks of the great cities, and all the nations that have passed
+away--all are a warning that no nation founded upon injustice can stand.
+From the sand-enshrouded Egypt, from the marble wilderness of Athens,
+and from every fallen, crumbling stone of the once mighty Rome, comes
+a wail, as it were, the cry that no nation founded upon injustice can
+permanently stand.
+
+
+
+
+89. What the Republican Party Did
+
+I am a Republican. I will tell you why: This is the only free government
+in the world. The Republican party made it so. The Republican party took
+the chains from 4,000,000 of people. The Republican party, with the wand
+of progress, touched the auction-block and it became a school-house; The
+Republican party put down the rebellion, saved the nation, kept the old
+banner afloat in the air, and declared that slavery of every kind should
+be exterpated from the face of the continent.
+
+
+
+
+90. Doings of Democrats
+
+I am opposed to the Democratic party, and I will tell you why. Every
+State that seceded from the United States was a Democratic State. Every
+ordinance of secession that was drawn was drawn by a Democrat. Every man
+that endeavored to tear the old flag from the heaven that it enriches
+was a Democrat. Every man that tried to destroy the nation was a
+Democrat. Every enemy this great republic has had for twenty years has
+been a Democrat. Every man that shot Union soldiers was a Democrat.
+Every man that starved Union soldiers and refused them in the extremity
+of death, a crust, was a Democrat. Every man that loved slavery better
+than liberty was a Democrat. The man that assassinated Abraham Lincoln
+was a Democrat. Every man that sympathized with the assassin--every
+man glad that the noblest President ever elected was assassinated, was a
+Democrat.
+
+
+
+
+91. Photograph of a Democrat.
+
+Every man that wanted the privilege of whipping another man to make him
+work for him for nothing and pay him with lashes on his naked back, was
+a Democrat. Every man that raised blood-hounds to pursue human beings
+was a Democrat. Every man that clutched from shrieking, shuddering,
+crouching mothers, babes from their breasts, and sold them into slavery,
+was a Democrat. Every man that impaired the credit of the United States,
+every man that swore we would never pay the bonds, every man that swore
+we would never redeem the greenbacks, every maligner of his country's
+credit, every calumniator of his country's honor, was a Democrat. Every
+man that resisted the draft, every man that hid in the bushes and shot
+at Union men simply because they were endeavoring to enforce the laws
+of their country, was a Democrat. Every man that wept over the corpse of
+slavery was a Democrat.
+
+
+
+
+92. I am a Republican, I Tell You!
+
+The flag that will not protect its protectors is a dirty rag that
+contaminates the air in which it waves. The government that will not
+defend its defenders is a disgrace to the nations of the world. I am
+a Republican because the Republican party says, "We will protect the
+rights of American citizens at home, and if necessary we will march
+an army into any State to protect the rights of the humblest American
+citizen in that State." I am a Republican because that party allows
+me to be free--allows me to do my own thinking in my own way. I am a
+Republican because it is a party grand enough and splendid enough and
+sublime enough to invite every human being in favor of liberty and
+progress to fight shoulder to shoulder for the advancement of mankind.
+It invites the Methodist; it invites the Catholic; it invites the
+Presbyterian and every kind of sectarian; it invites the free-thinker;
+it invites the infidel, provided he is in favor of giving to every other
+human being every chance and every right that he claims for himself. I
+am a Republican, I tell you.
+
+
+
+
+93. Recollect!
+
+Recollect it! Every man that tried to spread smallpox and yellow fever
+in the North, as the instrumentalities of civilized war, was a Democrat.
+Soldiers, every scar you have got on your heroic bodies was given you
+by a Democrat. Every scar, every arm that is lacking, every limb that
+is gone, every scar is a souvenir of a Democrat. I want you to recollect
+it. Every man that was the enemy of human liberty in this country was a
+Democrat. Every man that wanted the fruit of all the heroism of all the
+ages to turn to ashes upon the lips--every one was a Democrat.
+
+
+
+
+94. Give Every Man a Chance
+
+Now, my friends, thousands of the Southern people, and thousands of the
+Northern Democrats, are afraid that the <DW64>s are going to pass them
+in the race for life. And, Mr. Democrat, he will do it unless you attend
+to your business. The simple fact that you are white cannot save you
+always. You have got to be industrious, honest, to cultivate a justice.
+If you don't the <DW52> race will pass you, as sure as you live. I am
+for giving every man a chance. Anybody that can pass me is welcome.
+
+
+
+
+95. Who Shall Rule the Country?
+
+Shall the people that saved this country rule it? Shall the men who
+saved the old flag hold it? Shall the men who saved the ship of state
+sail it? or shall the rebels walk her quarter-deck, give the orders
+and sink it? That is the question. Shall a solid South, a united South,
+united by assassination and murder, a South solidified by the shot-gun;
+shall a united South, with the aid of a divided North, shall they
+control this great and splendid country? Well, then, the North must
+wake up. We are right back where we were in 1861. This is simply a
+prolongation of the war. This is the war of the idea, the other was the
+war of the musket. The other was the war of cannon, this is the war of
+thought, and we have got to beat them in this war of thought, recollect
+that. The question is, Shall the men who endeavored to destroy this
+country rule it? Shall the men that said, This is not a nation, have
+charge of the nation?
+
+
+
+
+96. The Declaration of Independence
+
+The Declaration of Independence is the grandest, the bravest, and
+the profoundest political document that was ever signed by the
+representatives of the people. It is the embodiment of physical and
+moral courage and of political wisdom. I say physical courage, because
+it was a declaration of war against the most powerful nation then on the
+globe; a declaration of war by thirteen weak, unorganized colonies; a
+declaration of war by a few people, without military stores, without
+wealth, without strength, against the most powerful kingdom on the
+earth; a declaration of war made when the British navy, at that day the
+mistress of every sea, was hovering along the coast of America, looking
+after defenseless towns and villages to ravage and destroy. It was made
+when thousands of English soldiers were upon our soil, and when the
+principal cities of America were in the substantial possession of
+the enemy. And so, I say, all things considered, it was the bravest
+political document ever signed by man.
+
+
+
+
+97. The World Grows Brighter.
+
+I have a dream that this world is growing better and better every day
+and every year; that there is more charity, more justice, more love
+every day. I have a dream that prisons will not always curse the earth;
+that the shadow of the gallows will not always fall on the land; that
+the withered hand of want will not always be stretched out for charity;
+that finally wisdom will sit in the legislature, justice in the courts,
+charity will occupy all the pulpits, and that finally the world will be
+controlled by liberty and love, by justice and charity. That is my
+dream, and if it does not come true, it shall not be my fault.
+
+
+
+
+98. The Column of July
+
+I stood, a little while ago, in the city of Paris, where stood the
+Bastile, where now stands the column of July, surmounted by the figure
+of Liberty. In its right hand is a broken chain, in its left hand a
+hammer; upon its shining forehead a glittering star--and as I looked
+upon it I said, such is the Republican party of my country.
+
+
+
+
+99. A Nation of Rascals
+
+Samuel J. Tilden says we are a nation of thieves and rascals. If that is
+so he ought to be President. But I denounce him as a calumniator of
+my country; a maligner of this nation. It is not so. This country is
+covered with asylums for the aged, the helpless, the insane, the orphan,
+the wounded soldiers. Thieves and rascals don't build such things.
+In the cities of the Atlantic coast this summer, they built floating
+hospitals, great ships, and took the little children from the
+sub-cellars and narrow, dirty streets of New York city, where the
+Democratic party is the strongest--took these poor waifs and put them in
+these great hospitals out at sea, and let the breezes of ocean kiss the
+rose of health back to their pallid cheeks. Rascals and thieves do not
+do so. When Chicago burned, railroads were blocked with the charity of
+the American people. Thieves and rascals did not do so.
+
+
+
+
+100. We are a Great People
+
+We are a great people. Three millions have increased to fifty--thirteen
+states to thirty-eight. We have better homes, and more of the
+conveniences of life than any other people upon the face of the globe.
+The farmers of our country live better than did the kings and princes
+two hundred years ago--and they have twice as much sense and heart.
+Liberty and labor have given us all. Remember that all men have equal
+rights. Remember that the man who acts best his part--who loves
+his friends the best--is most willing to help others--truest to the
+obligation--who has the best heart--the most feeling--the deepest
+sympathies--and who freely gives to others the rights that he claims for
+himself, is the best man. We have disfranchised the aristocrats of the
+air, and have given one country to mankind.
+
+
+
+
+101. Mule Equality
+
+Suppose there was a great horse-race here to-day, free to every horse
+in the world, and to all the mules, and all the scrubs, and all the
+donkeys. At the tap of the drum they come to the line, and the judges
+say "it is a go." Let me ask you, what does the blooded horse, rushing
+ahead, with nostrils distended, drinking in the breath of his own
+swiftness, with his mane flying like a banner of victory, with his veins
+standing out all over him, as if a net of life had been cast around
+him--with his thin neck, his high withers, his tremulous flanks--what
+does he care how many mules and donkeys run on the track? But the
+Democratic scrub, with his chuckle-head and lop-ears, with his tail full
+of cockle-burs, jumping high and short, and digging in the ground when
+he feels the breath of the coming mule on his cockle-bur tail, he is
+the chap that jumps the track and says, "I am down on mule equality." My
+friends, the Republican party is the blooded horse in this race.
+
+
+
+
+102. Room for Every Wing.
+
+There is room in the Republican air for every wing; there is room on
+the Republican sea for every sail. Republicanism says to every man: "Let
+your soul be like an eagle; fly out in the great dome of thought, and
+question the stars for yourself."
+
+
+
+
+103. The Republican Platform.
+
+I am a Republican because it is the only free party that ever existed.
+It is a party that had a platform as broad as humanity, a platform as
+broad as the human race, a party that says you shall have all the
+fruit of the labor of your hands, a party that says you may think for
+yourself; a party that says no chains for the hands, no fetters for the
+soul.
+
+
+
+
+104. Our Government the best on Earth
+
+We all want a good government. If we do not we should have none. We
+all want to live in a land where the law is supreme. We desire to live
+beneath a flag that will protect every citizen beneath its folds. We
+desire to be citizens of a government so great and so grand that it will
+command the respect of the civilized world. Most of us are convinced
+that our government is the best upon this earth.
+
+
+
+
+105. Will the Second Century of America be as good as the First?
+
+Standing here amid the sacred memories of the first, on the golden
+threshold of the second, I ask, Will the second century be as good
+as the first? I believe it will because we are growing more and more
+humane; I believe there is more human kind-ness and a greater desire
+to help one another in America, than in all the world besides. We
+must progress. We are just at the commencement of invention. The steam
+engine--the telegraph--these are but the toys with which science has
+been amusing herself. There will be grander things. There will be higher
+and wider culture. A grander standard of character, of literature and
+art. We have now half as many millions of people as we have years.
+We are getting more real solid sense. We are writing and reading more
+books. We are struggling more and more to get at the philosophy of
+life--trying more and more to answer the questions of the eternal
+Sphinx. We are looking in every direction. We are investigating,
+thinking, working! The second century will be grander than the first.
+
+
+
+
+SCIENCE
+
+
+
+
+106. The Glory of Science.
+
+Science found agriculture plowing with a stick--reaping with a
+sickle--commerce at the mercy of the treacherous waves and the
+inconstant winds--a world without books--without schools--man denying
+the authority of reason, employing his ingenuity in the manufacture
+of instruments of torture, in building inquisitions and cathedrals.
+It found the land filled with malicious monks--with persecuting
+Protestants, and the burners of men. The glory of science is, that it is
+freeing the soul--breaking the mental manacles--getting the brain out
+of bondage--giving courage to thought--filling the world with mercy,
+justice, and joy.
+
+
+
+
+107. The Tables Turned
+
+For the establishment of facts, the word of man is now considered
+far better than the word of God. In the world of science, Jehovah was
+superseded by Copernicus, Galileo, and Kepler. All that God told
+Moses, admitting the entire account to be true, is dust and ashes
+compared to the discoveries of Des Cartes, La Place, and Humboldt. In
+matters of fact, the Bible has ceased to be regarded as a standard.
+Science has succeeded in breaking the chains of theology. A few years
+ago, science endeavored to show that it was not inconsistent with the
+Bible. The tables have been turned, and now, religion is endeavoring to
+prove that the Bible is not inconsistent with science. The standard has
+been changed.
+
+
+
+
+108. Science Better than a Creed
+
+It seems to me that a belief in the great truths of science are fully as
+essential to salvation, as the creed of any church. We are taught that
+a man may be perfectly acceptable to God even if he denies the rotundity
+of the earth, the Copernican system, the three laws of Kepler, the
+indestructibility of matter and the attraction of gravitation. And we
+are also taught that a man may be right upon all these questions, and
+yet, for failing to believe in the "scheme of salvation," be eternally
+lost.
+
+
+
+
+109. The Religion of Science
+
+Every assertion of individual independence has been a step toward
+infidelity. Luther started toward Humboldt,--Wesley, toward John Stuart
+Mill. To really reform the church is to destroy it. Every new religion
+has a little less superstition than the old, so that the religion of
+science is but a question of time.
+
+
+
+
+110. Science not Sectarian
+
+The sciences are not sectarian. People do not persecute each other on
+account of disagreements in mathematics. Families are not divided about
+botany, and astronomy does not even tend to make a man hate his father
+and mother. It is what people do not know, that they persecute each
+other about. Science will bring, not a sword, but peace.
+
+
+
+
+111. The Epitaph of all Religions
+
+Science has written over the high altar its mene, mene, tekel,
+UPHARSIN--the old words, destined to be the epitaph of all religions?
+
+
+
+
+112. The Real Priest
+
+When we abandon the doctrine that some infinite being created matter
+and force, and enacted a code of laws for their government, the idea
+of interference will be lost. The real priest will then be, not the
+mouth-piece of some pretended deity, but the interpreter of nature. From
+that moment the church ceases to exist. The tapers will die out upon the
+dusty altar; the moths will eat the fading velvet of pulpit and pew;
+the Bible will take its place with the Shastras, Puranas, Vedas, Eddas,
+Sagas and Korans, and the fetters of a degrading faith will fall from
+the minds of men.
+
+
+
+
+113. Science is Power
+
+From a philosophical point of view, science is knowledge of the laws
+of life; of the conditions of happiness; of the facts by which we are
+surrounded, and the relations we sustain to men and things--by means
+of which, man, so to speak, subjugates nature and bends the elemental
+powers to his will, making blind force the servant of his brain.
+
+
+
+
+114. Science Supreme
+
+The element of uncertainty will, in a great measure, be removed from the
+domain of the future, and man, gathering courage from a succession of
+victories over the obstructions of nature, will attain a serene grandeur
+unknown to the disciples of any superstition. The plans of mankind will
+no longer be interfered with by the finger of a supposed omnipotence,
+and no one will believe that nations or individuals are protected or
+destroyed by any deity whatever. Science, freed from the chains of pious
+custom and evangelical prejudice, will, within her sphere, be supreme.
+The mind will investigate without reverence, and publish its conclusions
+without fear. Agassiz will no longer hesitate to declare the Mosaic
+cosmogony utterly inconsistent with the demonstrated truths of geology,
+and will cease pretending any reverence for the Jewish scriptures. The
+moment science succeeds in rendering the church powerless for evil, the
+real thinkers will be outspoken. The little flags of truce carried by
+timid philosophers will disappear, and the cowardly parley will give
+place to victory--lasting and universal.
+
+
+
+
+115. Science Opening the Gates of Thought
+
+We are not endeavoring to chain the future, but to free the present. We
+are not forging fetters for our children, but we are breaking those our
+fathers made for us. We are the advocates of inquiry, of investigation
+and thought. This of itself, is an admission that we are not perfectly
+satisfied with all our conclusions. Philosophy has not the egotism of
+faith. While superstition builds walls and creates obstructions, science
+opens all the highways of thought.
+
+
+
+
+116. Stars and Grains of Sand
+
+We do not say that we have discovered all; that our doctrines are the
+all in all of truth. We know of no end to the development of man. We
+cannot unravel the infinite complications of matter and force. The
+history of one monad is as unknown as that of the universe; one drop of
+water is as wonderful as all the seas; one leaf, as all the forests; and
+one grain of sand, as all the stars.
+
+
+
+
+117. The Trinity of Science
+
+Reason, Observation and Experience--the Holy Trinity of Science--have
+taught us that happiness is the only good; that the time to be happy is
+now, and the way to be happy is to make others so. This is enough for
+us. In this belief we are content to live and die. If by any possibility
+the existence of a power superior to, and independent of, nature shall
+be demonstrated, there will then be time enough to kneel. Until then,
+let us all stand nobly erect.
+
+
+
+
+118. The Old and the New Old ideas perished in the retort of the
+chemist, and useful truths took their places. One by one religious
+conceptions have been placed in the crucible of science, and thus far,
+nothing but dross has been found. A new world has been discovered by the
+microscope; everywhere has been found the infinite; in every direction
+man has investigated and explored, and nowhere, in earth or stars,
+has been found the footstep of any being superior to or independent
+of nature. Nowhere has been discovered the slightest evidence of any
+interference from without.
+
+
+
+
+119. The Triumphs of Science
+
+I do not know what inventions are in the brain of the future; I do not
+know what garments of glory may be woven for the world in the loom of
+years to be; we are just on the edge of the great ocean of discovery. I
+do not know what is to be discovered; I do not know what science will do
+for us. I do know that science did just take a handful of sand and make
+the telescope, and with it read all the starry leaves of heaven; I know
+that science took the thunderbolts from the hands of Jupiter, and now
+the electric spark, freighted with thought and love, flashes under the
+waves of the sea; I know that science stole a tear from the cheek of
+unpaid labor, converted it into steam, and created a giant that turns
+with tireless arms the countless wheels of toil; I know that science
+broke the chains from human limbs and gave us instead the forces of
+nature for our slaves; I know that we have made the attraction of
+gravitation work for us; we have made the lightnings our messengers; we
+have taken advantage of fire and flames and wind and sea; these slaves
+have no backs to be whipped; they have no hearts to be lacerated; they
+have no children to be stolen, no cradles to be violated. I know that
+science has given us better houses; I know it has given us better
+pictures and better books; I know it has given us better wives and
+better husbands, and more beautiful children. I know it has enriched
+a thousand-fold our life; and therefore I am in favor of perfect
+intellectual liberty.
+
+
+
+
+120. What Science Found!
+
+It found the world at the mercy of disease and famine; men trying to
+read their fates in the stars, and to tell their fortunes by signs and
+wonders; generals thinking to conquer their enemies by making the sign
+of the cross, or by telling a rosary. It found all history full of petty
+and ridiculous falsehood, and the Almighty was supposed to spend most
+of his time turning sticks into snakes, drowning boys for swimming on
+Sunday, and killing little children for the purpose of converting their
+parents. It found the earth filled with slaves and tyrants, the people
+in all countries downtrodden, half naked, half starved, without hope,
+and without reason in the world.
+
+
+
+
+121. Science the only Lever
+
+Such was the condition of man when the morning of science dawned upon
+his brain, and before he had heard the sublime declaration that the
+universe is governed by law. For the change that has taken place we are
+indebted solely to science--the only lever capable of raising mankind.
+Abject faith is barbarism; reason is civilization. To obey is slavish;
+to act from a sense of obligation perceived by the reason, is noble.
+Ignorance worships mystery; Reason explains it: the one grovels, the
+other soars.
+
+
+
+
+SLAVERY
+
+
+
+
+122. The Colonel Short of Words!!!
+
+I have sometimes wished that there were words of pure hatred out of
+which I might construct sentences like snakes, out of which I might
+construct sentences with mouths fanged, that had forked tongues, out of
+which I might construct sentences that writhed and and hissed; then I
+could give my opinion of the rebels during the great struggle for the
+preservation of this nation.
+
+
+
+
+123. Slavery in the Name of Religion
+
+Just think of it! Our churches and best people, as they call themselves,
+defending the institution of slavery. When I was a little boy I used
+to see steamers go down the Mississippi river with hundreds of men and
+women chained hand to hand, and even children, and men standing about
+them with whips in their hands and pistols in their pockets in the name
+of liberty, in the name of civilization and in the name of religion! I
+used to hear them preach to these slaves in the South and the only text
+they ever took was "Servants be obedient unto your masters." That was
+the salutation of the most merciful God to a man whose back was bleeding
+that was the salutation of the most merciful God to the slave-mother
+bending over an empty cradle, to the woman from whose breast a child
+had been stolen--"Servants be obedient unto your masters." That was
+what they said to a man running for his life and for his liberty through
+tangled swamps and listening to the baying of blood-hounds, and when
+he listened for them the voice came from heaven:--"Servants be obedient
+unto your masters." That is civilization. Think what slaves we have
+been! Think how we have crouched and cringed before wealth even! How
+they used to cringe in old times before a man who was rich--there are so
+many of them gone into bankruptcy lately that we are losing a little of
+our fear.
+
+
+
+
+124. The Patrons of Slavery
+
+It is not possible for the human imagination to conceive of the horrors
+of slavery. It has left no possible wrong uncommitted, no possible crime
+un-perpetrated. It has been practiced and defended by all nations in
+some form. It has been upheld by all religions. It has been defended
+by nearly every pulpit. From the profits derived from the slave trade,
+churches have been built, cathedrals reared and priests paid. Slavery
+has been blessed by bishop, by cardinal and by pope. It has received the
+sanction of statesmen, of kings, of queens. Monarchs have shared in the
+profits. Clergymen have taken their part of the spoil, reciting passages
+of scripture in its defense, and judges have taken their portion in the
+name of equity and law.
+
+
+
+
+125. A <DW52> Man in Congress
+
+The world has changed! I have had the supreme pleasure of seeing a
+man--once a slave--sitting in the seat of his former master in the
+Congress of the United States. When I saw that sight, my eyes were
+filled with tears. I felt that we had carried out the Declaration of
+Independence, that we had given reality to it, and breathed the breath
+of life into every word. I felt that our flag would float over and
+protect the <DW52> man and his little children--standing straight in
+the sun--just the same as though he were white and worth a million!
+
+
+
+
+126. The Zig-zag Strip
+
+I have some excuses to offer for the race to which I belong. My first
+excuse is that this is not a very good world to raise folks in anyway.
+It is not very well adapted to raising magnificent people. There's only
+a quarter of it land to start with. It is three times better for raising
+fish than folks; and in that one-quarter of land there is not a tenth
+part fit to raise people on. You can't raise people without a good
+climate. You have got to have the right kind of climate, and you have
+got to have certain elements in the soil or you can't raise good people.
+Do you know that there is only a little zig-zag strip around the world
+within which have been produced all men of genius?
+
+
+
+
+127. Black People have Suffered Enough
+
+In my judgment the black people have suffered enough. They have been
+slaves for two hundred years. They have been owned two hundred years,
+and, more than all, they have been compelled to keep the company of
+those who owned them. Think of being compelled to keep the society of
+the man who is stealing from you. Think of being compelled to live with
+a man that stole your child from the cradle before your very eyes. Think
+of being compelled to live with a thief all your life, to spend your
+days with a white loafer, and to be under his control.
+
+
+
+
+128. The History of Civilization
+
+The history of civilization is the history of the slow and painful
+enfranchisement of the human race. In the olden times the family was a
+monarchy, the father being the monarch. The mother and children were the
+veriest slaves. The will of the father was the supreme law. He had the
+power of life and death. It took thousands of years to civilize this
+father, thousands of years to make the condition of the wife and mother
+and children even tolerable. A few families constituted a tribe; the
+tribe had a chief; the chief was a tyrant; a few tribes formed a nation;
+the nation was governed by a king, who was also a tyrant. A strong
+nation robbed, plundered and took captive the weaker ones.
+
+
+
+
+129. Does God Uphold Slavery?
+
+Is there, in the civilized world, to-day, a clergyman who believes
+in the divinity of slavery? Does the Bible teach man to enslave his
+brother? If it does, is it not blasphemous to say that it is inspired
+of God? If you find the institution of slavery upheld in a book said
+to have been written by God, what would you expect to find in a book
+inspired by the devil? Would you expect to find that book in favor of
+liberty? Modern Christians, ashamed of the God of the Old Testament,
+endeavor now to show that slavery was neither commanded nor opposed by
+Jehovah.
+
+
+
+
+130. Solemn Defiance
+
+For my part, I never will, I never can, worship a God who upholds the
+institution of slavery. Such a God I hate and defy. I neither want his
+heaven, nor fear his hell.
+
+
+
+
+THE WAR
+
+
+
+
+131. The Soldiers of the Republic
+
+The soldiers of the Republic were not seekers after vulgar glory. They
+were not animated by the hope of plunder or the love of conquest. They
+fought to preserve the blessings of liberty and that their children
+might have peace. They were the defenders of humanity, the destroyers
+of prejudice, the breakers of chains, and in the name of the future they
+slew the monster of their time.
+
+
+
+
+132. Honor to the Brave!
+
+All honor, to the Brave! They blotted from the statute books laws that
+had been passed by hypocrites at the instigation of robbers, and tore
+with indignant hands from the Constitution that infamous clause that
+made men the catchers of their fellow men. They made it possible for
+judges to be just, for statesmen to be human, and for politicians to be
+honest. They broke the shackles from the limbs of slaves, from the souls
+of martyrs, and from the Northern brain. They kept our country on the
+map of the world and our flag in heaven.
+
+
+
+
+133. What Were We Fighting For?
+
+Seven long years of war--fighting for what? For the principle that
+all men were created equal--a truth that nobody ever disputed except
+a scoundrel; nobody in the entire history of this world. No man ever
+denied that truth who was not a rascal, and at heart a thief; never,
+never, and never will. What else were they fighting for? Simply that in
+America every man should have a right to life, liberty and the pursuit
+of happiness. Nobody ever denied that except a villain; never, never.
+It has been denied by kings--they were thieves. It has been denied by
+statesmen--they were liars. It has been denied by priests, by clergymen,
+by cardinals, by bishops and by popes--they were hypocrites. What else
+were they fighting for? For the idea that all political power is vested
+in the great body of the people. They make all the money; do all the
+work. They plow the land; cut down the forests; they produce everything
+that is produced. Then who shall say what shall be done with what is
+produced except the producer?
+
+
+
+
+134. The Revolution Consummated
+
+The soldiers of the Republic finished what the soldiers of the
+Revolution commenced. They relighted the torch that fell from their
+august hands and filled the world again with light.
+
+
+
+
+135. Fighting Done!--Work Begun!
+
+The soldiers went home to their waiting wives, to their glad children,
+and to the girls they loved--they went back to the fields, the shops and
+mines. They had not been demoralized. They had been ennobled. They were
+as honest in peace as they had been brave in war. Mocking at poverty,
+laughing at reverses, they made a friend of toil. They said: "We saved
+the nation's life, and what is life without honor?" They worked and
+wrought with all of labor's sons, that every pledge the nation gave
+should be redeemed. And their great leader, having put a shining hand of
+friendship--a girdle of clasped and happy hands--around the globe, comes
+home and finds that every promise made in war has now the ring and gleam
+of gold.
+
+
+
+
+136. Manhood worth more than Gold
+
+We say in this country manhood is worth more than gold. We say in this
+country that without liberty the Nation is not worth preserving. I
+appeal to every laboring man, and I ask him, "Is there another country
+on this globe where you can have your equal rights with others?" Now,
+then, in every country, no matter how good it is, and no matter how bad
+it is--in every country there is something worth preserving, and there
+is something that ought to be destroyed. Now recollect that every voter
+is in his own right a king; every voter in this country wears a crown;
+every voter in this country has in his hands the scepter of authority;
+and every voter, poor and rich, wears the purple of authority alike.
+Recollect it; and the man that will sell his vote is the man that
+abdicates the American throne.
+
+
+
+
+137. Grander than Greek or Roman.
+
+Grander than the Greek, nobler than the Roman, the soldiers of the
+republic, with patriotism as taintless as the air, battled for the
+rights of others; for the nobility of labor; fought that mothers might
+own their babes; that arrogant idleness should not scar the back of
+patient toil, and that our country should not be a many-headed monster
+made of warring States, but a Nation, sovereign, great and free. Blood
+was water; money, leaves, and life was common air until one flag floated
+over a republic without a master and without a slave.
+
+
+
+
+138. Let us Drink to the Living and the Dead
+
+The soldiers of the Union saved the South as well as the North. They
+made us a Nation. Their victory made us free and rendered tyranny in
+every other land as insecure as snow upon volcano lips. And now let us
+drink to the volunteers, to those who sleep in unknown, sunken graves,
+whose names are only in the hearts of those they loved and left--of
+those who only hear in happy dreams the footsteps of return. Let us
+drink to those who died where lipless famine mocked at want--to all the
+maimed whose scars give modesty a tongue, to all who dared and gave to
+chance the care and keeping of their lives--to all the living and all
+the dead--to Sherman, to Sheridan and to Grant, the foremost soldiers of
+the world; and last, to Lincoln, whose loving life, like a bow of peace,
+spans and arches all the clouds of war.
+
+
+
+
+139. Will the Wounds of the War be Healed?
+
+There is still another question: "Will all the wounds of the war be
+healed?" I answer, Yes. The Southern people must submit, not to the
+dictation of the North, but to the nation's will and to the verdict of
+mankind. They were wrong, and the time will come when they will say
+that they have been vanquished by the right. Freedom conquered them, and
+freedom will cultivate their fields, educate their children, weave for
+them the robes of wealth, execute their laws, and fill their land with
+happy homes.
+
+
+
+
+140. Saviours of the Nation
+
+They rolled the stone from the sepulchre of progress, and found therein
+two angels clad in shining garments--nationality and liberty. The
+soldiers were the Saviours of the Nation. They were the liberators of
+men. In writing the proclamation of emancipation, Lincoln, greatest
+of our mighty dead, whose memory is as gentle as the summer air,--when
+reapers sing 'mid gathered sheaves,--copied with the pen what Grant and
+his brave comrades wrote with swords.
+
+
+
+
+141. General Grant
+
+When the savagery of the lash, the barbarism of the chain, and the
+insanity of secession confronted the civilization of our century, the
+question, "Will the great republic defend itself?" trembled on the
+lips of every lover of mankind. The North, filled with intelligence and
+wealth, products of liberty, marshalled her hosts and asked only for
+a leader. From civil life a man, silent, thoughtful, poised, and calm;
+stepped forth, and with the lips of victory voiced the nation's first
+and last demand: "Unconditional and immediate surrender." From that
+moment the end was known. That utterance was the real declaration of
+real war and in accordance with the dramatic unities of mighty
+events, the great soldier who made it, received the final sword of the
+rebellion. The soldiers of the republic were not seekers after vulgar
+glory; they were not animated by the hope of plunder or the love of
+conquest. They fought to preserve the homestead of liberty.
+
+
+
+
+MONEY THAT IS MONEY
+
+
+
+
+142. Paper is not Money
+
+Some people tell me that the government can impress its sovereignty on
+a piece of paper, and that is money. Well, if it is, what's the use of
+wasting it making one dollar bills? It takes no more ink and no more
+paper--why not make $1000 bills? Why not make $100,000,000 and all be
+billionaires? If the government can make money, what on earth does it
+collect taxes for you and me for? Why don't it make what money it wants,
+take the taxes out, and give the balance to us? Mr. Greenbacker, suppose
+the government issued $1,000,000,000 to-morrow, how would you get any of
+it?
+
+
+
+
+143. The Debt will be paid
+
+It will be paid. The holders of the debt have got a mortgage on a
+continent. They have a mortgage on the honor of the Republican party,
+and it is on record. Every blade of grass that grows upon this continent
+is a guarantee that the debt will be paid; every field of bannered corn
+in the great, glorious West is a guarantee that the debt will be paid;
+all the coal put away in the ground, millions of years ago by the old
+miser, the sun; is a guarantee that every dollar of that debt will be
+paid; all the cattle on the prairies, pastures and plains, every one of
+them is a guarantee that this debt will be paid; every pine standing
+in the sombre forests of the North, waiting for the woodman's axe, is
+a guarantee that this debt will be paid; all the gold and silver hid in
+the Sierra Nevadas, waiting for the miner's pick, is a guarantee that
+the debt will be paid; every locomotive, with its muscles of iron and
+breath of flame, and all the boys and girls bending over their books at
+school, every dimpled child in the cradle, every good man and every good
+woman, and every man that votes the Republican ticket, is a guarantee
+that the debt will be paid.
+
+
+
+
+144. 1873 to 1879!
+
+No man can imagine, all the languages of the world cannot express, what
+the people of the United States suffered from 1873 to 1879. Men who
+considered themselves millionaires found that they were beggars; men
+living in palaces, supposing they had enough to give sunshine to the
+winter of their age, supposing they had enough to have all they loved
+in affluence and comfort, suddenly found that they were mendicants with
+bonds, stocks, mortgages, all turned to ashes in their aged, trembling
+hands.
+
+The chimneys grew cold, the fires in furnaces went out, the poor
+families were turned adrift, and the highways of the United States were
+crowded with tramps. Into the home of the poor crept the serpent of
+temptation, and whispered in the ear of poverty the terrible word
+"repudiation."
+
+
+
+
+145. A Voter because a Man
+
+A man does not vote in this country simply because he is rich; he does
+not vote in this country simply because he has an education; he does
+not vote simply because he has talent or genius; we say that he votes
+because he is a man, and that he has his manhood to support; and we
+admit in this country that nothing can be more valuable to any human
+being than his manhood, and for that reason we put poverty on an
+equality with wealth.
+
+
+
+
+146. Keep the Flag in Heaven!
+
+If you are a German, recollect that this country is kinder to you than
+your own fatherland,--no matter what country you came from, remember
+that this country is an asylum, and vote as in your conscience you
+believe you ought to vote to keep this flag in heaven. I beg every
+American to stand with that part of the country that believes in law, in
+freedom of speech, in an honest vote, in civilization, in progress, in
+human liberty, and in universal justice.
+
+
+
+
+147. Prosperity and Resumption hand in hand
+
+The Republicans of the United States demand a man who knows that
+prosperity and resumption, when they come, must come together; that when
+they come they will come hand in hand through the golden harvest fields;
+hand in hand by the whirling spindles and the turning wheels; hand in
+hand past the open furnace doors; hand in hand by the chimneys filled
+with eager fire, greeted and grasped by the countless sons of toil.
+This money has to be dug out of the earth. You cannot make it by passing
+resolutions in a political convention.
+
+
+
+
+148. Every Poor Man should Stand by the Government
+
+It is the only Nation where the man clothed in a rag stands upon an
+equality with the one wearing purple. It is the only country in the
+world where, politically, the hut is upon an equality with the palace.
+For that reason, every poor man should stand by the government, and
+every poor man who does not is a traitor to the best interests of his
+children; every poor man who does not is willing his children should
+bear the badge of political inferiority; and the only way to make this
+government a complete and perfect success is for the poorest man to
+think as much of his manhood as the millionaire does of his wealth.
+
+
+
+
+149. We Will Settle Pair!
+
+I want to tell you that you cannot conceive of what the American people
+suffered as they staggered over the desert of bankruptcy from 1873 to
+1879.
+
+We are too near now to know how grand we were. The poor mechanic said
+"No;" the ruined manufacturer said "No;" the once millionaire said "No,
+we will settle fair; we will agree to pay whether we ever pay or
+not, and we will never soil the American name with the infamous word,
+'repudiation.'" Are you not glad? What is the talk? Are you not glad
+that our flag is covered all over with financial honors? The stars shine
+and gleam now because they represent an honest nation.
+
+
+
+
+150. A Government with a Long Arm
+
+I believe in a Government with an arm long enough to reach the collar
+of any rascal beneath its flag. I want it with an arm long enough and
+a sword sharp enough to strike down tyranny wherever it may raise its
+snaky head. I want a nation that can hear the faintest cries of its
+humblest citizen. I want a nation that will protect a freedman standing
+in the sun by his little cabin, just as quick as it would protect
+Vanderbilt in a palace of marble and gold.
+
+
+
+
+151. No Repudiation
+
+Then it was, that the serpent of temptation whispered in the ear of want
+that dreadful word "Repudiation." An effort was made to repudiate. They
+appealed to want, to misery, to threatened financial ruin, to the bare
+hearthstones, to the army of beggars, We had grandeur enough to say:
+"No; we'll settle fair if we don't pay a cent!" And we'll pay-it. 'Twas
+grandeur! Is there a Democrat now who wishes we had taken the advice of
+Bayard to scale the bonds? Is there an American, a Democrat here, who
+is not glad we escaped the stench and shame of repudiation, and did not
+take Democratic advice? Is there a Greenbacker here who is not glad we
+didn't do it? He may say he is, but he isn't.
+
+
+
+
+152. The Great Crash!
+
+I think there is the greatest heroism in living for a thing! There's no
+glory in digging potatoes. You don't wear a uniform when you're picking
+up stones. You can't have a band of music when you dig potatoes! In,
+1873 came the great crash. We staggered over the desert of bankruptcy.
+No one can estimate the anguish of that time! Millionaires found
+themselves paupers. Palaces were exchanged for hovels. The aged man,
+who had spent his life in hard labor, and who thought he had accumulated
+enough to support himself in his old age, and leave a little something
+to his children and grandchildren, found they were all beggars. The
+highways were filled with tramps.
+
+
+
+
+153. Promises Don't Pay
+
+If I am fortunate enough to leave a dollar when I die, I want it to be
+a good one; I don't wish to have it turn to ashes in the hands of
+widowhood, or become a Democratic broken promise in the pocket of the
+orphan; I want it money. I saw not long ago a piece of gold bearing the
+stamp of the Roman Empire. That Empire is dust, and over it has been
+thrown the mantle of oblivion, but that piece of gold is as good as
+though Julius Caesar were still riding at the head of the Roman Legion.
+I want money to that will outlive the Democratic party. They told
+us--and they were honest about it--they said, "when we have plenty of
+money we are prosperous." And I said: "When we are prosperous, then we
+have credit, and, credit inflates the currency. Whenever a man buys a
+pound of sugar and says, 'Charge it,' he inflates the currency; whenever
+he gives his note, he inflates the currency; whenever his word takes the
+place of money, he inflates the currency." The consequence is that when
+we are prosperous, credit takes the place of money, and we have what
+we call "plenty." But you can't increase prosperity simply by using
+promises to pay.
+
+
+
+
+154. Solid and Bright!
+
+I do not wish to trust the wealth of this nation with the demagogues of
+the nation. I do not wish to trust the wealth of the country to every
+blast of public opinion. I want money as solid as the earth on which we
+tread, as bright as the stars that shine above us.
+
+
+
+
+155. The South and the Tariff
+
+Where did this doctrine of a tariff for revenue only come from? From the
+South. The South would like to stab the prosperity of the North. They
+had rather trade with Old England than with New England. They had rather
+trade with the people who were willing to help them in war than those
+who conquered the rebellion. They knew what gave us our strength in
+war. They knew all the brooks and creeks and rivers in New England were
+putting down the rebellion. They knew that every wheel that turned,
+every spindle that revolved, was a soldier in the army of human
+progress. It won't do. They were so lured by the greed of office that
+they were willing to trade upon the misfortune of a nation. It won't
+do. I don't wish to belong to a party that succeeds only when my country
+falls. I don't wish to belong to a party whose banner went up with
+the banner of rebellion. I don't wish to belong to a party that was in
+partnership with defeat and disaster.
+
+
+
+
+156. I am for Protection
+
+And I will tell you why I am for protection, too. If we were all farmers
+we would be stupid. If we were all shoemakers we would be stupid. If
+we all followed one business, no matter what it was, we would become
+stupid. Protection to American labor diversifies American industry, and
+to have it diversified touches and developes every part of the human
+brain. Protection protects integrity; it protects intelligence; and
+protection raises sense; and by protection we have greater men and
+better-looking women and healthier children. Free trade means that our
+laborer is upon an equality with the poorest paid labor of this world.
+
+
+
+
+157. The Old Woman of Tewksbury
+
+You Greenbackers are like the old woman in the Tewksbury, Mass.,
+Poor-House. She used to be well off, and didn't like her quarters. You
+Greenbackers have left your father's house of many mansions and have fed
+on shucks about long enough. The Supervisor came into the Poor-House one
+day and asked the old lady how she liked it. She said she didn't like
+the company, and asked him what he would advise her to do under similar
+circumstances. "Oh, you'd better stay. You're prejudiced," said he.
+"Do you think anybody is ever prejudiced in their sleep?" asked the
+old lady. "I had a dream the other night. I dreamed I died and went to
+Heaven. Lots of nice people were there. A nice man came to me and asked
+me where I was from. Says I, 'From Tewksbury, Mass.' He looked in his
+book and said, 'You can't stay here.' "I asked what he would advise me
+to do under similar circumstances." 'Well,' he said, 'there's hell down
+there, you might try that.' "Well, I went down there, and the men told
+me my name wasn't on the book and I couldn't stay there. 'Well,' said I,
+'What would you advise me to do under similar circumstances?' 'Said he,
+'You'll have to go back to Tewksbury.' And when Green-backers remember
+what they once were, you must feel now, when you were forced to join
+the Democratic party, as bad as the old lady who had to go back to
+Tewksbury.
+
+
+
+
+158. American Muscle, Coined into Gold
+
+I believe in American labor, and I tell you why. The other day a man
+told me that we had produced in the United States of America one million
+tons of rails. How much are they worth? Sixty dollars a ton. In other
+words, the million tons are worth $60,000,000. How much is a ton of iron
+worth in the ground? Twenty-five cents. American labor takes 25 cents of
+iron in the ground and adds to it $59.75. One million tons of rails, and
+the raw material not worth $24,000. We build a ship in the United States
+worth $500,000, and the value of the ore in the earth, of the trees in
+the great forest, of all that enters into the composition of that ship
+bringing $500,000 in gold is only $20,000; $480,000 by American labor,
+American muscle, coined into gold; American brains made a legal-tender
+the world around.
+
+
+
+
+159. Inflation
+
+I don't blame the man who wanted inflation. I don't blame him for
+praying for another period of inflation. "When it comes," said the man
+who had a lot of shrunken property on his hands, "blame me, if I don't
+unload, you may shoot me." It's a good deal like the game of poker! I
+don't suppose any of you know anything about that game! Along towards
+morning the fellow who is ahead always wants another deal. The fellow
+that is behind says his wife's sick, and he must go home. You ought
+to hear that fellow descant on domestic virtue! And the other fellow
+accuses him of being a coward and wanting to jump the game. A man whose
+dead wood is hung up on the shore in a dry time, wants the water to rise
+once more and float it out into the middle of the stream.
+
+
+
+
+160. Resources of Illinois.
+
+Let me tell you something about Illinois. We have fifty-six thousand
+square miles of land--nearly thirty-six million acres. Upon these plains
+we can raise enough to feed and clothe twenty million people. Beneath
+these prairies were hidden, millions of ages ago, by that old miser, the
+sun, thirty-six thousand square miles of coal. The aggregate thickness
+of these veins is at least fifteen feet. Think of a column of coal one
+mile square and one hundred miles high! All this came from the sun. What
+a sunbeam such a column would be! Think of all this force, willed and
+left to us by the dead morning of the world! Think of the fireside of
+the future around which will sit the fathers, mothers and children of
+the years to be! Think of the sweet and happy faces, the loving and
+tender eyes that will glow and gleam in the sacred light of all these
+flames!
+
+
+
+
+161. Money!
+
+They say that money is a measure of value. 'Tisn't so. A bushel doesn't
+measure values. It measures diamonds as well as potatoes. If it measured
+values, a bushel of potatoes would be worth as much as a bushel of
+diamonds. A yard-stick doesn't measure values. They used to say,
+"there's no use in having a gold yard-stick." That was right. You
+don't buy the yard-stick. If money bore the same relation to trade as
+a yard-stick or half-bushel, you would have the same money when you
+got through trading as you had when you begun. A man don't sell
+half-bushels. He sells corn. All we want is a little sense about these
+things. We were in trouble. The thing was discussed. Some said there
+wasn't enough money. That's so; I know what that means myself. They said
+if we had more money we'd be more prosperous. The truth is, if we
+were more prosperous we'd have more money. They said more money would
+facilitate business.
+
+
+
+
+162. Money by Work
+
+How do you get your money? By work. Where from? You have got to dig it
+out of the ground. That is where it comes from. In old times there were
+some men who thought they could get some way to turn the baser metals
+into gold, and old gray-haired men, trembling, tottering on the verge of
+the grave, were hunting for something to turn ordinary metals into gold;
+they were searching for the fountain of eternal youth, but they did not
+find it. No human ear has ever heard the silver gurgle of the spring of
+immortal youth.
+
+
+
+
+163. Meat Twice a Year
+
+I have been in countries where the laboring man had meat once a year;
+sometimes twice--Christmas and Easter. And I have seen women carrying
+upon their heads a burden that no man would like to carry, and at the
+same time knitting busily with both hands. And those women lived without
+meat; and when I thought of the American laborer I said to myself,
+"After all, my country is the best in the world." And when I came back
+to the sea and saw the old flag flying in the air, it seemed to me as
+though the air from pure joy had burst into blossom.
+
+
+
+
+164. America a Glorious Land
+
+Labor has more to eat and more to wear in the United States than in
+any other land of this earth. I want America to produce everything
+that Americans need. I want it so if the whole world should declare war
+against us, so if we were surrounded by walls of cannon and bayonets and
+swords, we could supply all human wants in and of ourselves. I want to
+live to see the American woman dressed in American silk; the American
+man in everything from hat to boots produced in America by the cunning
+hand of the American toiler.
+
+
+
+
+165. How to Spend a Dollar
+
+If you have only a dollar in the world and have got to spend it, spend
+it like a man; spend it like a prince, like a king! If you have to spend
+it, spend it as though it were a dried leaf, and you were the owner of
+unbounded forests.
+
+
+
+
+166. Honesty is Best always and Everywhere
+
+I am next in favor of honest money. I am in favor of gold and silver,
+and paper with gold and silver behind it. I believe in silver, because
+it is one of the greatest of American products, and I am in favor of
+anything that will add to the value of American products. But I want a
+silver dollar worth a gold dollar, even if you make it or have to make
+it four feet in diameter. No government can afford to be a clipper of
+coin. A great Republic cannot afford to stamp a lie upon silver or gold.
+Honest money, an honest people, an honest Nation. When our money is only
+worth 80 cents on the dollar, we feel 20 per cent, below par. When our
+money is good we feel good. When our money is at par, that is where we
+are. I am a profound believer in the doctrine that for nations as well
+as men, honesty is the best, always, everywhere and forever.
+
+
+
+
+167. A Fountain of Greenbacks
+
+There used to be mechanics that tried to make perpetual motion by
+combinations of wheels, shifting weights, and rolling balls; but somehow
+the machine would never quite run. A perpetual fountain of greenbacks,
+of wealth without labor, is just as foolish as a fountain of eternal
+youth. The idea that you can produce money without labor is just as
+foolish as the idea of perpetual motion. They are old follies under new
+names.
+
+
+
+
+168. What the Greenback says!
+
+Shall we pay our debts? We had to borrow some money to pay for shot and
+shell to shoot Democrats with. We found that we could get along with a
+few less Democrats, but not with any less country, and so we borrowed
+the money, and the question now is, will we pay it? And which party is
+the most apt to pay it, the Republican party, that made the debt--the
+party that swore it was constitutional, or the party that said it was
+unconstitutional? Whenever a Democrat sees a greenback, the greenback
+says to the Democrat, "I am one of the fellows that whipped you."
+Whenever a Republican sees a greenback, the greenback says to him, "You
+and I put down the rebellion and saved the country."
+
+
+
+
+169. Honest Methods
+
+So many presidents of savings banks, even those belonging to the Young
+Men's Christian Association, run off with the funds; so many railroad
+and insurance companies are in the hands of receivers; there is so much
+bankruptcy on every hand, that all capital is held in the nervous clutch
+of fear. Slowly, but surely, we are coming back to honest methods in
+business. Confidence will return, and then enterprise will unlock the
+safe and money will again circulate as of yore; the dollars will leave
+their hitting places, and every one will be seeking investment.
+
+
+
+
+170. Silver demonetized by Fraud!
+
+For my part I do not ask any interference on the part of the government
+except to undo the wrong it has done. I do not ask that money be made
+out of nothing. I do not ask for the prosperity born of paper. But I do
+ask for the remonetization of silver. Silver was demonetized by fraud.
+It was an imposition upon every solvent man; a fraud upon every honest
+debtor in the United States. It assassinated labor. It was done in the
+interest of avarice and greed, and should be undone by honest men.
+
+
+
+
+RELIGIOUS QUESTIONS
+
+
+
+
+171. The Crime of Crimes!
+
+Redden your hands with human blood; blast by slander the fair fame
+of the innocent; strangle the smiling child upon its mother's knees;
+deceive, ruin and desert the beautiful girl who loves and trusts you,
+and your case is not hopeless. For all this, and for all these you
+may be forgiven. For all this, and for all these, that bankrupt court
+established by the gospel, will give you a discharge; but deny the
+existence of these divine ghosts, of these gods, and the sweet and
+tearful face of Mercy becomes livid with eternal hate. Heaven's golden
+gates are shut, and you, with an infinite curse ringing in your
+ears, with the brand of infamy upon your brow, commence your endless
+wanderings in the lurid gloom of hell--an immortal vagrant--an eternal
+outcast--a deathless convict.
+
+
+
+
+172. Faith--A Mixture of Insanity and Ignorance
+
+The doctrine that future happiness depends upon belief is monstrous.
+It is the infamy of infamies. The notion that faith in Christ is to
+be rewarded by an eternity of bliss, while a dependence upon reason,
+observation, and experience merits everlasting pain, is too absurd for
+refutation, and can be relieved only by that unhappy mixture of insanity
+and ignorance; called "faith."
+
+
+
+
+173. What the Saints Could Cure!
+
+The church in the days of Voltaire contended that its servants were the
+only legitimate physicians. The priests cured in the name of the church,
+and in the name of God--by exorcism, relics, water, salt and oil. St.
+Valentine cured epilepsy, St. Gervasius was good for rheumatism, St.
+Michael de Sanatis for cancer, St. Judas for coughs, St. Ovidius
+for deafness, St. Sebastian for poisonous bites. St. Apollonia for
+toothache, St. Clara for rheum in the eye, St. Hubert for hydrophobia.
+Devils were driven out with wax tapers, with incence (sp.), with holy
+water, by pronouncing prayers. The church, as late as the middle of the
+twelfth century, prohibited good Catholics from having anything to do
+with physicians.
+
+
+
+
+174. The Sleep of Persecutors
+
+All the persecutors sleep in peace, and the ashes of those who burned
+their brothers in the name of Christ rest in consecrated ground. Whole
+libraries could not contain even the names of the wretches who have
+filled the world with violence and death in defense of book and creed,
+and yet they all died the death of the righteous, and no priest or|
+minister describes the agony and fear, the remorse and horror with which
+their guilty souls were filled in the last moments of their lives. These
+men had never doubted; they accepted the creed; they were not infidels;
+they had not denied the divinity of Christ; they had been baptized;
+they had partaken of the last supper; they had respected priests; they
+admitted that the Holy Ghost had "proceeded;" and these things put
+pillows beneath their dying heads and covered them with the drapery of
+peace.
+
+
+
+
+175. Crime Rampant and God Silent!
+
+There is no recorded instance where the uplifted hand of murder has been
+paralyzed--no truthful account in all the literature of the world of the
+innocent shielded by God. Thousands of crimes are being committed every
+day--men are this moment lying in wait for their human prey; wives
+are whipped and crushed, driven to insanity and death; little children
+begging for mercy, lifting imploringly tear-filled eyes to the brutal
+faces of fathers and mothers; sweet girls are deceived, lured, and
+outraged; but God has no time to prevent these things--no time to defend
+the good and to protect the pure. He is too busy numbering hairs and
+watching sparrows.
+
+
+
+
+176. How Criminals Die Serenely!
+
+All kinds of criminals, except infidels, meet death with reasonable
+serenity. As a rule, there is nothing in the death of a pirate to cast
+any discredit on his profession. The murderer upon the scaffold, with
+a priest on either side, smilingly exhorts the multitude to meet him in
+heaven. The man who has succeeded in making his home a hell meets death
+without a quiver, provided he has never expressed any doubt as to the
+divinity of Christ or the eternal "procession" of the holy ghost. The
+king who has waged cruel and useless war, who has filled countries with
+widows and fatherless children, with the maimed and diseased, and who
+has succeeded in offering to the Moloch of ambition the best and bravest
+of his subjects, dies like a saint.
+
+
+
+
+177. The first Corpse and the first Cathedral
+
+Now and then, in the history of this world, a man of genius, of sense,
+of intellectual honesty has appeared. These men have denounced the
+superstitions of their day. They pitied the multitude. To see priests
+devour the substance of the people filled them with indignation. These
+men were honest enough to tell their thoughts. Then they were denounced,
+condemned, executed. Some of them escaped the fury of the people who
+loved their enemies, and died naturally in their beds. It would not be
+for the church to admit that they died peacefully. That would show that
+religion was not actually necessary in the last moment. Religion got
+much of its power from the terror of death. Superstition is the child of
+ignorance and fear. The first grave was the first cathedral. The first
+corpse was the first priest. It would not do to have the common people
+understand that a man could deny the Bible, refuse to look at the cross,
+contend that Christ was only a man, and yet die as calmly as Calvin did
+after he had murdered Servetus, or as King David, after advising one son
+to kill another.
+
+
+
+
+178. The Sixteenth Century
+
+In the sixteenth century every science was regarded as an outcast and an
+enemy, and the church influenced the world, which was under its
+power, to believe anything, and the ignorant mob was always too ready,
+brutalized by the church, to hang, kill or crucify at their bidding.
+Such was the result of a few centuries of Christianity.
+
+
+
+
+179. An Orthodox Gentleman
+
+By Orthodox I mean a gentleman who is petrified in his mind, whooping
+around intellectually, simply to save the funeral expenses of his soul.
+
+
+
+
+180. A Bold Assertion
+
+The churches point to their decayed saints, and their crumbled Popes
+and say, "Do you know more than all the ministers that ever lived?"
+And without the slightest egotism or blush I say, yes, and the name of
+Humboldt outweighs them all. The men who stand in the front rank, the
+men who know most of the secrets of nature, the men who know most are
+to-day the advanced infidels of this world. I have lived long enough to
+see the brand of intellectual inferiority on every orthodox brain.
+
+
+
+
+181. History a Bloody Farce!
+
+If we admit that some infinite being has controlled the destinies of
+persons and peoples, history becomes a most cruel and bloody farce.
+Age after age, the strong have trampled upon the weak; the crafty
+and heartless have ensnared and enslaved the simple and innocent,
+and nowhere, in all the annals of mankind, has any god succored the
+oppressed.
+
+
+
+
+182. Weak ones Suffering--Heaven deaf
+
+Most of the misery has been endured by the weak, the loving and the
+innocent. Women have been treated like poisonous beasts, and little
+children trampled upon as though they had been vermin. Numberless altars
+have been reddened, even with the blood of babes; beautiful girls have
+been given to slimy serpents; whole races of men doomed to centuries
+of slavery, and everywhere there has been outrage beyond the power
+of genius to express. During all these years the suffering have
+supplicated; the withered lips of famine have prayed; the pale victims
+have implored, and Heaven has been deaf and blind.
+
+
+
+
+183. Heaven has no Ear, no Hand
+
+Man should cease to expect aid from on high. By this time he should know
+that heaven has no ear to hear, and no hand to help. The present is the
+necessary child of all the past. There has been no chance, and there can
+be no interference.
+
+
+
+
+184. Religion is Tyrannical
+
+Religion does not, and cannot, contemplate man as free. She accepts only
+the homage of the prostrate, and scorns the offerings of those who stand
+erect. She cannot tolerate the liberty of thought. The wide and sunny
+fields belong not to her domain. The star-lit heights of genius and
+individuality are above and beyond her appreciation and power. Her
+subjects cringe at her feet, covered with the dust of obedience.
+
+
+
+
+185. Religion and Facts
+
+What has religion to do with facts? Nothing. Is there any such thing
+as Methodist mathematics, Presbyterian botany, Catholic astronomy or
+Baptist biology? What has any form of superstition or religion to do
+with a fact or with any science? Nothing but hinder, delay or embarass.
+I want, then, to free the schools; and I want to free the politicians,
+so that a man will not have to pretend he is a Methodist, or his wife
+a Baptist, or his grandmother a Catholic; so that he can go through
+a campaign, and when he gets through will find none of the dust of
+hypocrisy on his knees.
+
+
+
+
+186. Religion not the End of Life
+
+We deny that religion is the end or object of this life. When it is so
+considered it becomes destructive of happiness--the real end of life.
+It becomes a hydra-headed monster, reaching in terrible coils from the
+heavens, and thrusting its thousand fangs into the bleeding, quivering
+hearts of men. It devours their substance, builds palaces for God, (who
+dwells not in temples made with hands,) and allows his children to
+die in huts and hovels. It fills the earth with mourning, heaven with
+hatred, the present with fear, and all the future with despair.
+
+
+
+
+187. Creeds
+
+Just in proportion that the human race has advanced, the Church has lost
+power. There is no exception to this rule. No nation ever materially
+advanced that held strictly to the religion of its founders. No nation
+ever gave itself wholly to the control of the Church without losing its
+power, its honor, and existence. Every Church pretends to have found
+the exact truth. This is the end of progress. Why pursue that which you
+have? Why investigate when you know? Every creed is a rock in running
+water; humanity sweeps by it. Every creed cries to the universe, "Halt!"
+A creed is the ignorant Past bullying the enlightened Present.
+
+
+
+
+188. The Worst Religion in the World
+
+The worst religion of the world was the Presbyterianism of Scotland as
+it existed in the beginning of the eighteenth century. The kirk had all
+the faults of the church of Rome, without a redeeming feature. The kirk
+hated music, painting, statuary, and architecture. Anything touched with
+humanity--with the dimples of joy--was detested and accursed. God was
+to be feared, not loved. Life was a long battle with the devil. Every
+desire was of Satan. Happiness was a snare, and human love was wicked,
+weak, and vain. The Presbyterian priest of Scotland was as cruel,
+bigoted, and heartless as the familiar of the inquisition. One case will
+tell it all. In the beginning of this, the nineteenth century, a boy
+seventeen years of age, Thomas Aikenhead, was indicted and tried
+at Edinburgh for blasphemy. He had on several occasions, when cold,
+jocularly wished himself in hell, that he might get warm. The poor,
+frightened boy recanted--begged for mercy; but he was found guilty,
+hanged, thrown in a hole at the foot of the scaffold; and his weeping
+mother vainly begged that his bruised and bleeding body might be given
+to her.
+
+
+
+
+189. Religion Demanding Miracles
+
+The founder of a religion must be able to turn water into wine--cure
+with a word the blind and lame, and raise with a simple touch the dead
+to life. It was necessary for him to demonstrate to the satisfaction
+of his barbarian disciple, that he was superior to nature. In times of
+ignorance this was easy to do. The credulity of the savage was almost
+boundless. To him the marvelous was the beautiful, the mysterious was
+the sublime. Consequently, every religion has for its foundation a
+miracle--that is to say, a violation of nature--that is to say, a
+falsehood.
+
+
+
+
+190. We Want One Fact
+
+We have heard talk enough. We have listened to all the drowsy, idealess,
+vapid sermons that we wish to hear. We have read your Bible and the
+works of your best minds. We have heard your prayers, your solemn groans
+and your reverential amens. All these amount to less than nothing. We
+want one fact. We beg at the doors of your churches for just one little
+fact. We pass our hats along your pews and under your pulpits and
+implore you for just one fact. We know all about your mouldy wonders and
+your stale miracles. We want a this year's fact. We ask only one. Give
+us one fact for charity. Your miracles are too ancient.
+
+
+
+
+191. The Design Argument
+
+These religious people see nothing but designs everywhere, and personal,
+intelligent interference in everything. They insist that the universe
+has been created, and that the adaptation of means to ends is perfectly
+apparent. They point us to the sunshine, to the flowers, to the April
+rain, and to all there is of beauty and of use in the world. Did it ever
+occur to them that a cancer is as beautiful in its development as is the
+reddest rose? That what they are pleased to call the adaptation of
+means to ends, is as apparent in the cancer as in the April rain? How
+beautiful the process of digestion! By what ingenious methods the
+blood is poisoned so that the cancer shall have food! By what wonderful
+contrivances the entire system of man is made to pay tribute to this
+divine and charming cancer! See by what admirable instrumentalities it
+feeds itself from the surrounding quivering, dainty flesh! See how it
+gradually but surely expands and grows! By what marvelous mechanism
+it is supplied with long and slender roots that reach out to the most
+secret nerves of pain for sustenance and life! What beautiful colors it
+presents!
+
+
+
+
+192. Down, Forever Down
+
+Down, forever down, with any religion that requires upon its ignorant
+altar the sacrifice of the goddess Reason, that compels her to abdicate
+forever the shining throne of the soul, strips from her form the
+imperial purple, snatches from her hand the sceptre of thought and makes
+her the bondwoman of a senseless faith!
+
+
+
+
+193. The Back
+
+Upon this rack I have described, this victim was placed, and those
+chains were attached to his ankles and then to his waist, and clergyman,
+good men pious men! men that were shocked at the immorality of their
+day! they talked about playing cards and the horrible crime of dancing!
+Oh! how such things shocked them; men going to the theatres and seeing a
+play written by the grandest genius the world ever has produced--how it
+shocked their sublime and tender souls! but they commenced turning this
+machine and they kept on turning until the ankles, knees, hips, elbows,
+shoulders and wrists were all dislocated and the victim was red with the
+sweat of agony, and they had standing by a physician to feel the pulse,
+so that the last faint flutter of life would not leave his veins. Did
+they wish to save his life? Yes. In mercy? No! simply that they might
+have the pleasure of racking him once again. That is the spirit, and it
+is a spirit born of the doctrine that there is upon the throne of the
+universe a being who will eternally damn his children, and they said:
+"If God is going to have the supreme happiness of burning them forever,
+certainly he might not to begrudge to us the joy of burning them for an
+hour or two." That was their doctrine, and when I read these things it
+seems to me that I have suffered them myself.
+
+
+
+
+194. An Awful Admission
+
+Just think of going to the day of judgment, if there is one, and
+standing up before God and admitting without a blush that you had lived
+and died a Scotch Presbyterian. I would expect the next sentence would
+be, "Depart ye curged into everlasting fire."
+
+
+
+
+CHURCHES AND PRIESTS
+
+
+
+
+195. The Church Forbids Investigation
+
+The first doubt was the womb and cradle of progress, and from the first
+doubt, man has continued to advance. Men began to investigate, and the
+church began to oppose. The astronomer scanned the heavens, while the
+church branded his grand forehead with the word, "Infidel;" and now,
+not a glittering star in all the vast expanse bears a Christian name.
+In spite of all religion, the geologist penetrated the earth, read her
+history in books of stone, and found, hidden within her bosom souvenirs
+of all the ages.
+
+
+
+
+196. The Church Charges Falsely
+
+Notwithstanding the fact that infidels in all ages have battled for
+the rights of man, and have at all times been the fearless advocates
+of liberty and justice, we are constantly charged by the Church with
+tearing down without building again.
+
+
+
+
+197. The Church in the "Dark Ages"
+
+During that frightful period known as the "Dark Ages," Faith reigned,
+with scarcely a rebellious subject. Her temples were "carpeted with
+knees," and the wealth of nations adorned her countless shrines. The
+great painters prostituted their genius to immortalize her vagaries,
+while the poets enshrined them in song. At her bidding, man covered the
+earth with blood. The scales of Justice were turned with her gold, and
+for her use were invented all the cunning instruments of pain. She built
+cathedrals for God, and dungeons for men. She peopled the clouds with
+angels and the earth with slaves.
+
+
+
+
+198. The Few Say, "Think!"
+
+For ages, a deadly conflict has been waged between a few brave men and
+women of thought and genius upon the one side, and the great ignorant
+religious mass on the other. This is the war between! science and faith.
+The few have appealed to reason, to honor, to law, to freedom, to the
+known, and to happiness here in this world. The many have appealed
+to prejudice, to fear, to miracle, to slavery, to the unknown, and
+to misery hereafter. The few have said, "Think!" The many have said,
+"Believe!"
+
+
+
+
+199. The Church and the Tree of Knowledge
+
+The gods dreaded education and knowledge then just as they do now. The
+church still faithfully guards the dangerous tree of knowledge, and has
+exerted in all ages her utmost power to keep mankind from eating the
+fruit thereof. The priests have never ceased repeating the old falsehood
+and the old threat: "Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it,
+lest ye die."
+
+
+
+
+200. The Church Cries, "Believe!"
+
+The church wishes us to believe. Let the church, or one of its
+intellectual saints, perform a miracle, and we will believe. We are told
+that nature has a superior. Let this superior, for one single instant,
+control nature and we will admit the truth of your assertions.
+
+
+
+
+201. The Heretics Cried, "Halt!"
+
+A few infidels--a few heretics cried, "Halt!" to the great rabble of
+ignorant devotion, and made it possible for the genius of the nineteenth
+century to revolutionize the cruel creeds and superstitions of mankind.
+
+
+
+
+202. The World not so Awful Flat
+
+According to the Christian system this world was the centre of
+everything. The stars were made out of what little God happened to have
+left when he got the world done. God lived up in the sky, and they said
+this earth must rest upon something, and finally science passed its hand
+clear under, and there was nothing. It was self-existent in infinite
+space. Then the Church began to say they didn't say it was flat, not so
+awful flat--it was kind of rounding.
+
+According to the ancient Christians God lived from all eternity, and
+never worked but six days in His whole life, and then had the impudence
+to tell us to be industrious.
+
+
+
+
+203. From Whence Come Wars?
+
+Christian nations are the warlike nations of this world. Christians have
+invented the most destructive weapons of war. Christianity gave us the
+revolver, invented the rifle, made the bombshell; and Christian
+nations here and there had above all other arts the art of war; and as
+Christians they have no respect for the rights of barbarians or for the
+rights of any nation or tribe that happens to differ with them. See what
+it does in our society; we are divided off into little sects that used
+to discuss these questions with fire and sword, with chain and <DW19>,
+and that discuss, some of them, even to-day, with misrepresentation and
+slander. Every day something happens to show me that the old spirit that
+that was in the inquisition still slumbers in the breasts of men.
+
+
+
+
+204. Another Day of Divine Work
+
+I heard of a man going to California over the plains, and there was a
+clergyman on board, and he had a great deal to say, and finally he
+fell in conversation with the forty-niner, and the latter said to the
+clergyman, "Do you believe that God made this world in six days?" "Yes I
+do." They were then going along the Humboldt. Says he, "Don't you think
+he could put in another day to advantage right around here?"
+
+
+
+
+205. The Donkey and the Lion
+
+Owing to the attitude of the churches for the last fifteen hundred
+years, truth-telling has not been a very lucrative business. As a rule,
+hypocrisy has worn the robes, and honesty the rags. That day is passing
+away. You cannot now answer the argument of a man by pointing at
+the holes in his coat. Thomas Paine attacked the Church when it was
+powerful--when it had what is called honors to bestow--when it was
+the keeper of the public conscience--when it was strong and cruel. The
+Church waited till he was dead, and then attacked his reputation and his
+clothes. Once upon a time a donkey kicked a lion, but the lion was dead.
+
+
+
+
+206. The Orthodox Christian
+
+The highest type of the orthodox Christian does not forget; neither
+does he learn. He neither advances nor recedes. He is a living fossil
+embedded in that rock called faith. He makes no effort to better his
+condition, because all his strength is exhausted in keeping other people
+from improving theirs. The supreme desire of his heart is to force all
+others to adopt his creed, and in order to accomplish this object he
+denounces free-thinking as a crime, and this crime he calls heresy. When
+he had power, heresy was the most terrible and formidable of words. It
+meant confiscation, exile, imprisonment, torture, and death.
+
+
+
+
+207. Alms-Dish and Sword
+
+I will not say the Church has been an unmitigated evil in all respects.
+Its history is infamous and glorious. It has delighted in the production
+of extremes. It has furnished murderers for its own martyrs. It has
+sometimes fed the body, but has always starved the soul. It has been a
+charitable highwayman--a profligate beggar--a generous pirate. It
+has produced some angels and a multitude of devils. It has built more
+prisons than asylums. It made a hundred orphans while it cared for one.
+In one hand it has carried the alms-dish and in the other a sword.
+
+
+
+
+208. The Church the Great Robber
+
+The Church has been, and still is, the great robber. She has rifled not
+only the pockets but the brains of the world. She is the stone at the
+sepulchre of liberty; the upas tree, in whose shade the intellect of man
+has withered; the Gorgon beneath whose gaze the human heart has turned
+to stone. Under her influence even the Protestant mother expects to be
+happy in heaven, while her brave boy, who fell fighting for the rights
+of man, shall writhe in hell.
+
+
+
+
+209. The Church Impotent
+
+The Church, impotent and malicious, regrets, not the abuse, but the loss
+of her power, and seeks to hold by falsehood what she gained by cruelty
+and force, by fire and fear. Christianity cannot live in peace with any
+other form of faith.
+
+
+
+
+210. Toleration
+
+Let it be remembered that all churches have persecuted heretics to the
+extent of their power. Toleration has increased only when and where the
+power of the church has diminished. From Augustine until now the
+spirit of the Christians has remained the same. There has been the same
+intolerance, the same undying hatred of all who think for themselves,
+and the same determination to crush out of the human brain all knowledge
+inconsistent with an ignorant creed.
+
+
+
+
+211. Shakespeare's Plays v. Sermons
+
+What would the church people think if the theatrical people should
+attempt to suppress the churches? What harm would it do to have an opera
+here tonight? It would elevate us more than to hear ten thousand sermons
+on the worm that never dies. There is more practical wisdom in one of
+the plays of Shakespeare than in all the sacred books ever written. What
+wrong would there be to see one of those grand plays on Sunday? There
+was a time when the church would not allow you to cook on Sunday. You
+had to eat your victuals cold. There was a time they thought the more
+miserable you feel the better God feels.
+
+
+
+
+212. Why Should the Church be Merciful?
+
+Give any orthodox church the power, and to-day they would punish heresy
+with whip, and chain, and fire. As long as a church deems a certain
+belief essential to salvation, just so long it will kill and burn if it
+has the power. Why should the Church pity a man whom her God hates? Why
+should she show mercy to a kind and noble heretic whom her God will burn
+in eternal fire?
+
+
+
+
+213. The Church and the Infidel.
+
+Cathedrals and domes, and chimes and chants--temples frescoed and
+groined and carved, and gilded with gold--altars and tapers, and
+paintings of virgin and babe--censer and chalice--chasuble, paten
+and alb--organs, and anthems and incense rising to the winged and
+blest--maniple, amice and stole--crosses and crosiers, tiaras
+and crowns--mitres and missals and masses--rosaries, relics and
+robes--martyrs and saints, and windows stained as with the blood of
+Christ--never, never for one moment awed the brave, proud spirit of the
+Infidel. He knew that all the pomp and glitter had been purchased with
+Liberty--that priceless jewel of the soul. In looking at the cathedral
+he remembered the dungeon. The music of the organ was loud enough to
+drown the clank of fetters. He could not forget that the taper had
+lighted the fagot. He knew that the cross adorned the hilt of the sword,
+and so where others worshiped, he wept and scorned.
+
+
+
+
+214. Back to Chaos
+
+Suppose the Church could control the world today, we would go back to
+chaos and old night philosophy would be branded as infamous; science
+would again press its pale and thoughtful face against the prison bars,
+and round the limbs of liberty would climb the bigot's flame.
+
+
+
+
+215. Infinite Impudence of the Church
+
+Who can imagine the infinite impudence of a Church assuming to think for
+the human race? Who can imagine the infinite impudence of a Church
+that pretends to be the mouthpiece of God, and in his name threatens to
+inflict eternal punishment upon those who honestly reject its claims and
+scorn its pretensions? By what right does a man, or an organization
+of men, or a god, claim to hold a brain in bondage? When a fact can be
+demonstrated, force is unnecessary; when it cannot be demonstrated, an
+appeal to force is infamous. In the presence of the unknown all have an
+equal right to think.
+
+
+
+
+216. Wanted!--A New Method
+
+The world is covered with forts to protect Christians from Christians,
+and every sea is covered with iron monsters ready to blow Christian
+brains into eternal froth. Millions upon millions are annually expended
+in the effort to construct still more deadly and terrible engines of
+death. Industry is crippled, honest toil is robbed, and even beggary is
+taxed to defray the expenses of Christian warfare. There must be some
+other way to reform this world.
+
+
+
+
+217. The Kirk of Scotland
+
+The Church was ignorant, bloody, and relentless. In Scotland the "Kirk"
+was at the summit of its power. It was a full sister of the Spanish
+Inquisition. It waged war upon human nature. It was the enemy of
+happiness, the hater of joy, and the despiser of religious liberty. It
+taught parents to murder their children rather than to allow them to
+propagate error. If the mother held opinions of which the infamous
+"Kirk" disapproved, her children were taken from her arms, her babe from
+her very bosom, and she was not allowed to see them, or to write them a
+word. It would not allow shipwrecked sailors to be rescued from drowning
+on Sunday. It sought to annihilate pleasure, to pollute the heart by
+filling it with religious cruelty and gloom, and to change mankind into
+a vast horde of pious, heartless fiends. One of the most famous Scotch
+divines said: "The Kirk holds that religious toleration is not far from
+blasphemy."
+
+
+
+
+218. The Church Looks Back
+
+The Church is, and always has been, incapable of a forward movement.
+Religion always looks back. The Church has already reduced Spain to a
+guitar, Italy to a hand-organ, and Ireland to exile.
+
+
+
+
+219. Diogenes
+
+The Church used painting, music and architecture, simply to degrade
+mankind. But there are men that nothing can awe. There have been at all
+times brave spirits that dared even the gods. Some proud head has always
+been above the waves. In every age some Diogenes has sacrificed to all
+the gods. True genius never cowers, and there is always some Samson
+feeling for the pillars of authority.
+
+
+
+
+220. The Church and War
+
+It does seem as though the most zealous Christian must at times
+entertain some doubt as to the divine origin of his religion. For
+eighteen hundred years the doctrine has been preached. For more than
+a thousand years the Church had, to a great extent, the control of the
+civilized world, and what has been the result? Are the Christian nations
+patterns of charity and forbearance? On the contrary, their principal
+business is to destroy each other. More than five millions of Christians
+are trained, educated, and drilled to murder their fellow-christians.
+Every nation is groaning under a vast debt incurred in carrying on war
+against other Christians.
+
+
+
+
+221. The Call to Preach
+
+An old deacon, wishing to get rid of an unpopular preacher, advised him
+to give up the ministry and turn his attention to something else. The
+preacher replied that he could not conscientiously desert the pulpit, as
+he had had a "call" to the ministry. To which the deacon replied, "That
+may be so, but it's very unfortunate for you, that when God called you
+to preach, he forgot to call anybody to hear you."
+
+
+
+
+222. Burning Servetus
+
+The maker of the Presbyterian creed caused the fugitive Servetus to be
+arrested for blasphemy. He was tried. Calvin was his accuser. He was
+convicted and condemned to death by fire. On the morning of the fatal
+day, Calvin saw him, and Servetus, the victim, asked forgiveness of
+Calvin, the murderer. Servetus was bound to the stake, and the <DW19>s
+were lighted. The wind carried the flames somewhat away from his body,
+so that he slowly roasted for hours. Vainly he implored a speedy death.
+At last the flames climbed round his form; through smoke and fire his
+murderers saw a white, heroic face. And there they watched until a man
+became a charred and shriveled mass. Liberty was banished from Geneva,
+and nothing but Presbyterianism was left.
+
+
+
+
+223. Freedom for the Clergy
+
+One of the first things I wish to do is to free the orthodox clergy. I
+am a great friend of theirs, and in spite of all they may say against
+me, I am going to do them a great and lasting service. Upon their necks
+are visible the marks of the collar, and upon their backs those of the
+lash. They are not allowed to read and think for themselves. They are
+taught like parrots, and the best are those who repeat, with the fewest
+mistakes, the sentences they have been taught. They sit like owls upon
+some dead limb of the tree of knowledge, and hoot the same old hoots
+that have been hooted for eighteen hundred years.
+
+
+
+
+224. The Pulpit Weakening
+
+There was a time when a falsehood, fulminated from the pulpit, smote
+like a sword; but, the supply having greatly exceeded the demand,
+clerical misrepresentation has at last become almost an innocent
+amusement. Remembering that only a few years ago men, women, and even
+children, were imprisoned, tortured and burned, for having expressed
+in an exceedingly mild and gentle way, the ideas entertained by me, I
+congratulate myself that calumny is now the pulpit's last resort.
+
+
+
+
+225. Origin of the Priesthood
+
+This was the origin of the priesthood. The priest pretended to stand
+between the wrath of the gods and the helplessness of man. He was man's
+attorney at the court of heaven. He carried to the invisible world a
+flag of truce, a protest and a request. He came back with a command,
+with authority and with power. Man fell upon his knees before his own
+servant, and the priest, taking advantage of the awe inspired by his
+supposed influence with the gods, made of his fellow-man a cringing
+hypocrite and slave.
+
+
+
+
+226. The Clergy on Heaven
+
+The clergy, however, balance all the real ills of this life with the
+expected joys of the next. We are assured that all is perfection in
+heaven--there the skies are cloudless--there all is serenity and peace.
+Here empires may be overthrown; dynasties may be extinguished in blood;
+millions of slaves may toil 'neath the fierce rays of the sun, and the
+cruel strokes of the lash; yet all is happiness in heaven. Pestilences
+may strew the earth with corpses of the loved; the survivors may bend
+above them in agony--yet the placid bosom of heaven is unruffled.
+Children may expire vainly asking for bread; babes may be devoured by
+serpents, while the gods sit smiling in the clouds.
+
+
+
+
+227. The Parson, the Crane and the Fish
+
+A devout clergyman sought every opportunity to impress upon the mind
+of his son the fact, that God takes care of all his creatures; that the
+falling sparrow attracts his attention, and that his loving-kindness is
+over all his works. Happening, one day, to see a crane wading in quest
+of food, the good man pointed out to his son the perfect adaptation of
+the crane to get his living in that manner. "See," said he, "how his
+legs are formed for wading! What a long slender bill he has! Observe how
+nicely he folds his feet when putting them in or drawing them out of
+the water! He does not cause the slightest ripple. He is thus enabled
+to approach the fish without giving them any notice of his arrival.
+My son," said he, "it is impossible to look at that bird without
+recognizing the design, as well as the goodness of God, in thus
+providing the means of subsistence." "Yes," replied the boy, "I think I
+see the goodness of God, at least so far as the crane is concerned; but,
+after all, father, don't you think the arrangement a little tough on the
+fish?"
+
+
+
+
+228. Banish Me from Eden--But!
+
+Give me the storm of tempest and action, rather than the dead calm of
+ignorance and faith. Banish me from Eden when you will; but first let me
+eat of the fruit of the tree of knowledge!
+
+
+
+
+229. The Pulpit's Cry of Fear
+
+From every pulpit comes the same cry, born of the same fear: "Lest
+they eat and become as gods, knowing good and evil." For this reason,
+religion hates science, faith detests reason, theology is the sworn
+enemy of philosophy, and the church with its flaming sword still guards
+the hated tree, and like its supposed founder, curses to the lowest
+depths the brave thinkers who eat and become as gods.
+
+
+
+
+230. Restive Clergymen
+
+Some of the clergy have the independence to break away, and the
+intellect to maintain themselves as free men, but the most are compelled
+to submit to the dictation of the orthodox, and the dead. They are
+not employed to give their thoughts, but simply to repeat the ideas of
+others. They are not expected to give even the doubts that may suggest
+themselves, but are required to walk in the narrow, verdureless path
+trodden by the ignorance of the past. The forests and fields on either
+side are nothing to them.
+
+
+
+
+231. The Parson Factory at Andover
+
+They have in Massachusetts, at a place called Andover, a kind of
+minister-factory; and every professor in that factory takes an oath once
+in every five years--that is as long as an oath will last--that not only
+has he not during the last five years, but so help him God, he will not
+during the next five years intellectually advance; and probably there is
+no oath he could easier keep. Since the foundation of that institution
+there has not been one case of perjury. They believe the same creed they
+first taught when the foundation stone was laid, and now when they send
+out a minister they brand him as hardware from Sheffield and Birmingham.
+And every man who knows where he was educated knows his creed, knows
+every argument of his creed, every book that he reads, and just what he
+amounts to intellectually, and knows he will shrink and shrivel.
+
+
+
+
+232. A Charge to Presbyteries
+
+Go on, presbyteries and synods, go on! Thrust the heretics out of the
+Church--that is to say, throw away your brains,--put out your eyes. The
+infidels will thank you. They are willing to adopt your exiles. Every
+deserter from your camp is a recruit for the army of progress. Cling to
+the ignorant dogmas of the past; read the 109th Psalm; gloat over the
+slaughter of mothers and babes; thank God for total depravity; shower
+your honors upon hypocrites, and silence every minister who is touched
+with that heresy called genius. Be true to your history. Turn out the
+astronomers, the geologists, the naturalists, the chemists, and all the
+honest scientists. With a whip of scorpions, drive them all out. We want
+them all.
+
+
+
+
+THE BIBLE
+
+
+
+
+233. Nature the True Bible
+
+The true Bible appeals to man in the name of demonstration. It has
+nothing to conceal. It has no fear of being read, of being contradicted,
+of being investigated and understood. It does not pretend to be holy, or
+sacred; it simply claims to be true. It challenges the scrutiny of
+all, and implores every reader to verify every line for himself. It is
+incapable of being blasphemed. This book appeals to all the surroundings
+of man. Each thing that exists testifies of its perfection. The earth,
+with its heart of fire and crowns of snow; with its forests and plains,
+its rocks and seas; with its every wave and cloud; with its every leaf
+and bud and flower, confirms its every word, and the solemn stars,
+shining in the infinite abysses, are the eternal witnesses of its truth.
+
+
+
+
+234. Inspiration
+
+I will tell you what I mean by inspiration. I go and look at the sea,
+and the sea says something to me; it makes an impression upon my mind.
+That impression depends, first, upon my experience; secondly, upon
+my intellectual capacity. Another looks upon the same sea. He has a
+different brain, he has had a different experience, he has different
+memories and different hopes. The sea may speak to him of joy and to me
+of grief and sorrow. The sea cannot tell the same thing to two beings,
+because no two human beings have had the same experience. So, when I
+look upon a flower, or a star, or a painting, or a statue, the more I
+know about sculpture the more that statue speaks to me. The more I have
+had of human experience, the more I have read, the greater brain I have,
+the more the star says to me. In other words, nature says to me all that
+I am capable of understanding.
+
+
+
+
+335. The 109th Psalm!
+
+Think of a God wicked and malicious enough to inspire this prayer in
+the 109th Psalm. Think of one infamous enough to answer it. Had this
+inspired psalm been found in some temple erected for the worship of
+snakes, or in the possession of some cannibal king, written with blood
+upon the dried skins of babes, there would have been a perfect harmony
+between its surroundings and its sentiments.
+
+
+
+
+236. I Don't Believe the Bible
+
+Now, I read the Bible, and I find that God so loved this world that he
+made up his mind to damn the most of us. I have read this book, and what
+shall I say of it? I believe it is generally better to be honest. Now,
+I don't believe the Bible. Had I not better say so? They say that if you
+do you will regret it when you come to die. If that be true, I know a
+great many religious people who will have no cause to regret it--they
+don't tell their honest convictions about the Bible.
+
+
+
+
+237. The Bible the Real Persecutor
+
+The Bible was the real persecutor. The Bible burned heretics, built
+dungeons, founded the Inquisition, and trampled upon all the liberties
+of men. How long, O how long will mankind worship a book? How long will
+they grovel in the dust before the ignorant legends of the barbaric
+past? How long, O how long will they pursue phantoms in a darkness
+deeper than death?
+
+
+
+
+238. Immoralities of the Bible
+
+The believers in the Bible are loud in their denunciation of what they
+are pleased to call the immoral literature of the world; and yet few
+books have been published containing more moral filth than this inspired
+word of God. These stories are not redeemed by a single flash of wit or
+humor. They never rise above the dull details of stupid vice. For one,
+I cannot afford to soil my pages with extracts from them; and all such
+portions of the Scriptures I leave to be examined, written upon, and
+explained by the clergy. Clergymen may know some way by which they can
+extract honey from these flowers. Until these passages are expunged from
+the Old Testament, it is not a fit book to be read by either old or
+young. It contains pages that no minister in the United States would
+read to his congregation for any reward whatever. There are chapters
+that no gentleman would read in the presence of a lady. There are
+chapters that no father would read to his child. There are narratives
+utterly unfit to be told; and the time will come when mankind will
+wonder that such a book was ever called inspired.
+
+
+
+
+239. The Bible Stands in the Way
+
+But as long as the Bible is considered as the work of God, it will be
+hard to make all men too good and pure to imitate it; and as long as it
+is imitated there will be vile and filthy books. The literature of
+our country will not be sweet and clean until the Bible ceases to be
+regarded as the production of a god.
+
+
+
+
+240. The Bible False
+
+In the days of Thomas Paine the Church believed and taught that every
+word in the Bible was absolutely true. Since his day it has been proven
+false in its cosmogony, false in its astronomy, false in its chronology,
+false in its history, and so far as the Old Testament is concerned,
+false in almost everything. There are but few, if any, scientific men
+who apprehend that the Bible is literally true. Who on earth at this
+day would pretend to settle any scientific question by a text from
+the Bible? The old belief is confined to the ignorant and zealous.
+The Church itself will before long be driven to occupy the position of
+Thomas Paine.
+
+
+
+
+241. The Man I Love
+
+I love any man who gave me, or helped to give me, the liberty I enjoy
+to-night. I love every man who helped put our flag in heaven. I love
+every man who has lifted his voice in all the ages for liberty, for a
+chainless body, and a fetterless brain. I love every man who has given
+to every other human being every right that he claimed for himself. I
+love every man who thought more of principle than he did of position. I
+love the men who have trampled crowns beneath their feet that they might
+do something for mankind.
+
+
+
+
+242. Whale, Jonah and All
+
+The best minds of the orthodox world, to-day, are endeavoring to prove
+the existence of a personal Deity. All other questions occupy a minor
+place. You are no longer asked to swallow the Bible whole, whale,
+Jonah and all; you are simply required to believe in God, and pay your
+pew-rent. There is not now an enlightened minister in the world who will
+seriously contend that Samson's strength was in his hair, or that the
+necromancers of Egypt could turn water into blood, and pieces of wood
+into serpents. These follies have passed away.
+
+
+
+
+243. Damned for Laughing at Samson
+
+For my part, I would infinitely prefer to know all the results of
+scientific investigation, than to be inspired as Moses was. Supposing
+the Bible to be true; why is it any worse or more wicked for free
+thinkers to deny it, than for priests to deny the doctrine of Evolution,
+or the dynamic theory of heat? Why should we be damned for laughing at
+Samson and his foxes, while others, holding the Nebular Hypothesis in
+utter contempt, go straight to heaven?
+
+
+
+
+244. The Man, Not the Book, Inspired
+
+Now when I come to a book, for instance I read the writings of
+Shakespeare--Shakespeare, the greatest human being who ever existed upon
+this globe. What do I get out of him? All that I have sense enough to
+understand. I get my little cup full. Let another read him who knows
+nothing of the drama, who knows nothing of the impersonation of passion;
+what does he get from him? Very little. In other words, every man gets
+from a book, a flower, a star, or the sea, what he is able to get from
+his intellectual development and experience. Do you then believe that
+the Bible is a different book to every human being that receives it? I
+do. Can God, then, through the Bible, make the same revelation to two
+men? He cannot. Why? Because the man who reads is the man who inspires.
+Inspiration is in the man and not in the book.
+
+
+
+
+245. The Bible a Chain
+
+The real oppressor, enslaver and corrupter of the people is the Bible.
+That book is the chain that binds, the dungeon that holds the clergy.
+That book spreads the pall of superstition over the colleges and
+schools. That book puts out the eyes of science, and makes honest
+investigation a crime. That book unmans the politician and degrades the
+people. That book fills the world with bigotry, hypocrisy and fear.
+
+
+
+
+246. Absurd and Foolish Fables
+
+Volumes might be written upon the infinite absurdity of this most
+incredible, wicked and foolish of all the fables contained in that
+repository of the impossible, called the Bible. To me it is a matter
+of amazement, that it ever was for a moment believed by any intelligent
+human being.
+
+
+
+
+247. The Bible the Work of Man
+
+Is it not infinitely more reasonable to say that this book is the work
+of man, that it is filled with mingled truth and error, with mistakes
+and facts, and reflects, too faithfully perhaps, the "very form and
+pressure of its time?" If there are mistakes in the Bible, certainly
+they were made by man. If there is anything contrary to nature, it
+was written by man. If there is anything immoral, cruel, heartless
+or infamous, it certainly was never written by a being worthy of the
+adoration of mankind.
+
+
+
+
+248. Something to Admire, not Laugh at
+
+It strikes me that God might write a book that would not necessarily
+excite the laughter of his children. In fact, I think it would be
+safe to say that a real God could produce a work that would excite the
+admiration of mankind.
+
+
+
+
+249. An Intellectual Deformity
+
+The man who now regards the Old Testament as, in any sense, a sacred or
+inspired book, is, in my judgment, an intellectual and moral deformity.
+There is in it so much that is cruel, ignorant, and ferocious, that it
+is to me a matter of amazement that it was ever thought to be the work
+of a most merciful Deity.
+
+
+
+
+250. The Bible a Poor Product
+
+Admitting that the Bible is the Book of God, is that his only good job?
+Will not a man be damned as quick for denying the equator as denying
+the Bible? Will he not be damned as quick for denying geology as for
+denying the scheme of salvation? When the Bible was first written it was
+not believed. Had they known as much about science as we know now, that
+Bible would not have been written.
+
+
+
+
+251. The Bible the Battle Ground of Sects
+
+Every sect is a certificate that God has not plainly revealed his will
+to man. To each reader the Bible conveys a different meaning. About the
+meaning of this book, called a revelation, there have been ages of war,
+and centuries of sword and flame. If written by an infinite God, he must
+have known that these results must follow; and thus knowing, he must be
+responsible for all.
+
+
+
+
+252. The Bible Childish
+
+Paine thought the barbarities of the Old Testament inconsistent with
+what he deemed the real character of God. He believed that murder,
+massacre and indiscriminate slaughter had never been commanded by
+the Deity. He regarded much of the Bible as childish, unimportant
+and foolish. The scientific world entertains the same opinion. Paine
+attacked the Bible precisely in the same spirit in which he had attacked
+the pretensions of kings. He used the same weapons. All the pomp in the
+world could not make him cower. His reason knew no "Holy of Holies,"
+except the abode of Truth.
+
+
+
+
+253. Where Moses got the Pentateuch
+
+Nothing can be clearer than that Moses received from the Egyptians the
+principal parts of his narrative, making such changes and additions as
+were necessary to satisfy the peculiar superstitions of his own people.
+
+
+
+
+254. God's Letter to His Children
+
+According to the theologians, God, the Father of us all, wrote a letter
+to his children. The children have always differed somewhat as to the
+meaning of this letter. In consequence of these honest differences,
+these brothers began to cut out each other's hearts. In every land,
+where this letter from God has been read, the children to whom and for
+whom it was written have been filled with hatred and malice. They have
+imprisoned and murdered each other, and the wives and children of each
+other. In the name of God every possible crime has been committed, every
+conceivable outrage has been perpetrated. Brave men, tender and loving
+women, beautiful girls, and prattling babes have been exterminated in
+the name of Jesus Christ.
+
+
+
+
+255. Examination a Crime
+
+The Church has burned honesty and rewarded hypocrisy. And all this,
+because it was commanded by a book--a book that men had been taught
+implicitly to believe, long before they knew one word that was in it.
+They had been taught that to doubt the truth of this book--to examine
+it, even--was a crime of such enormity that it could not be forgiven,
+either in this world or in the next.
+
+
+
+
+256. Read the Bible--and Then!
+
+All that is necessary, as it seems to me, to convince any reasonable
+person that the Bible is simply and purely of human invention--of
+barbarian invention--is to read it. Read it as you would any other book;
+think of it as you would any other; get the bandage of reverence from
+your eyes; drive from your heart the phantom of fear; push from the
+throne of your brain the cowled form of superstition--then read the Holy
+Bible, and you will be amazed that you ever, for one moment, supposed a
+being of infinite wisdom, goodness and purity, to be the author of such
+ignorance and such atrocity.
+
+
+
+
+257. An Infallible Book Makes Slaves
+
+Whether the Bible is false or true, is of no consequence in comparison
+with the mental freedom of the race. Salvation through slavery is
+worthless. Salvation from slavery is inestimable. As long as man
+believes the Bible to be infallible, that book is his master. The
+civilization of this century is not the child of faith, but of
+unbelief--the result of free thought.
+
+
+
+
+258. Can a Sane Man Believe in Inspiration?
+
+What man who ever thinks, can believe that blood can appease God? And
+yet our entire system of religion is based on that belief. The Jews
+pacified Jehovah with the blood of animals, and according to the
+Christian system, the blood of Jesus softened the heart of God a little,
+and rendered possible the salvation of a fortunate few. It is hard to
+conceive how any sane man can read the Bible and still believe in the
+doctrine of inspiration.
+
+
+
+
+259. An Inspiration Test
+
+The Bible was originally written in the Hebrew language, and the Hebrew
+language at that time had no vowels in writing. It was written entirely
+with consonants, and without being divided into chapters and verses, and
+there was no system of punctuation whatever. After you go home to-night
+write an English sentence or two with only consonants close together,
+and you will find that it will take twice as much inspiration to read it
+as it did to write it.
+
+
+
+
+260. The Real Bible
+
+The real Bible is not the work of inspired men, nor prophets, nor
+evangelists, nor of Christs. The real Bible has not yet been written,
+but is being written. Every man who finds a fact adds a word to this
+great book.
+
+
+
+
+261. The Bad Passages in the Bible not Inspired
+
+The bad passages in the Bible are not inspired. No God ever upheld
+human slavery, polygamy or a war of extermination. No God ever ordered
+a soldier to sheathe his sword in the breast of a mother. No God ever
+ordered a warrior to butcher a smiling, prattling babe. No God ever
+upheld tyranny. No God ever said, be subject to the powers that be. No
+God ever endeavored to make man a slave and woman a beast of burden.
+There are thousands of good passages in the Bible. Many of them are
+true.
+
+There are in it wise laws, good customs, some lofty and splendid things.
+And I do not care whether they are inspired or not, so they are true.
+But what I do insist upon is that the bad is not inspired.
+
+
+
+
+262. Too much Pictorial
+
+There is no hope for you. It is just as bad to deny hell as it is to
+deny heaven. Prof. Swing says the Bible is a poem. Dr. Ryder says it
+is a picture. The Garden of Eden is pictorial; a pictorial snake and
+a pictorial woman, I suppose, and a pictorial man, and may be it was a
+pictorial sin. And only a pictorial atonement!
+
+
+
+
+263. One Plow worth a Million Sermons
+
+Man must learn to rely upon himself. Reading Bibles will not protect
+him from the blasts of winter, but houses, fire and clothing will. To
+prevent famine one plow is worth a million sermons, and even patent
+medicines will cure more diseases than all the prayers uttered since the
+beginning of the world.
+
+
+
+
+INFIDELS
+
+
+
+
+264. The Infidels of 1776
+
+By the efforts of these infidels--Paine, Jefferson and Franklin--the
+name of God was left out of the Constitution of the United States. They
+knew that if an infinite being was put in, no room would be left for the
+people. They knew that if any church was made the mistress of the state,
+that mistress, like all others, would corrupt, weaken, and destroy.
+Washington wished a church, established by law, in Virginia. He was
+prevented by Thomas Jefferson. It was only a little while ago that
+people were compelled to attend church by law in the Eastern States,
+and taxes were raised for the support of churches the same as for the
+construction of highways and bridges. The great principle enunciated
+in the Constitution has silently repealed most of these laws. In the
+presence of this great instrument the constitutions of the States grew
+small and mean, and in a few years every law that puts a chain upon the
+mind, except in Delaware, will be repealed, and for these our children
+may thank the infidels of 1776.
+
+
+
+
+265. The Legitimate Influence of Religion
+
+Religion should have the influence upon mankind that its goodness, that
+its morality, its justice, its charity, its reason and its argument give
+it, and no more. Religion should have the effect upon mankind that it
+necessarily has, and no more.
+
+
+
+
+266. Infidels the Flowers of the World
+
+The infidels have been the brave and thoughtful men; the flower of all
+the world; the pioneers and heralds of the blessed day of liberty and
+love; the generous spirits of the unworthy past; the seers and
+prophets of our race; the great chivalric souls, proud victors on the
+battle-fields of thought, the creditors of all the years to be.
+
+
+
+
+267. The Noblest Sons of, Earth
+
+Who at the present day can imagine the courage, the devotion to
+principle, the intellectual and moral grandeur it once required to be an
+infidel, to brave the Church, her racks, her fagots, her dungeons, her
+tongues of fire--to defy and scorn her heaven and her hell--her devil
+and her God? They were the noblest sons of earth. They were the real
+saviors of our race, the destroyers of superstition, and the creators
+of Science. They were the real Titans who bared their grand foreheads to
+all the thunderbolts of all the gods.
+
+
+
+
+268. How Ingersoll became an Infidel
+
+I may say right here that the Christian idea that any God can make me
+His friend by killing mine is about as great a mistake as could be made.
+They seem to have the idea that just as soon as God kills all the people
+that a person loves, he will then begin to love the Lord. What drew
+my attention first to these questions was the doctrine of eternal
+punishment. This was so abhorrent to my mind that I began to hate the
+book in which it was taught. Then, in reading law, going back to find
+the origin of laws, I found one had to go but a little way before the
+legislator and priest united. This led me to study a good many of the
+religions of the world. At first I was greatly astonished to find most
+of them better than ours. I then studied our own system to the best of
+my ability, and found that people were palming off upon children
+and upon one another as the inspired words of God a book that upheld
+slavery, polygamy, and almost every other crime. Whether I am right or
+wrong, I became convinced that the Bible is not an inspired book, and
+then the only question for me to settle was as to whether I should say
+what I believed or not. This realty was not the question in my mind,
+because, before even thinking of such a question, I expressed my belief,
+and I simply claim that right, and expect to exercise it as long as I
+live. I may be damned for it in the next world, but it is a great source
+of pleasure to me in this.
+
+
+
+
+269. Why Should Infidels Die in Fear?
+
+Why should it be taken for granted that the men who devoted their lives
+to the liberation of their fellowmen should have been hissed at in
+the hour of death by the snakes of conscience, while men who defended
+slavery--practiced polygamy--justified the stealing of babes from the
+breasts of mothers, and lashed the naked back of unpaid labor, are
+supposed to have passed smilingly from earth to the embraces of the
+angels? Why should we think that the brave thinkers, the investigators,
+the honest men must have left the crumbling shore of time in dread and
+fear, while the instigators of the massacre of St. Bartholomew, the
+inventors and users of thumb screws, of iron boots and racks, the
+burners and tearers of human flesh, the stealers, the whippers, and the
+enslavers of men, the buyers and beaters of maidens, mothers, and babes,
+the founders of the inquisition, the makers of chains, the builders of
+dungeons, the calumniators of the living, the slanderers of the
+dead, and even the murderers of Jesus Christ, all died in the odor of
+sanctity, with white, forgiven hands folded upon the breasts of peace,
+while the destroyers of prejudice, the breakers of fetters, the creators
+of light, died surrounded by the fierce fiends of God?
+
+
+
+
+270. Infidelity is Liberty
+
+Infidelity is liberty; all religion is slavery. In every creed man is
+the slave of God--woman is the slave of man and the sweet children are
+the slaves of all. We do not want creeds; we want knowledge--we want
+happiness.
+
+
+
+
+271. The World in Debt to Infidels
+
+What would the world be if infidels had never been? Let us be honest.
+Did all the priests of Rome increase the mental wealth of man as much
+as Bruno? Did all the priests of France do as great a work for the
+civilization of the world as Diderot and Voltaire? Did all the ministers
+of Scotland add as much to the sum of human knowledge as David Hume?
+Have all the clergymen, monks, friars, ministers, priests, bishops,
+cardinals, and popes, from the day of Pentecost to the last election,
+done as much for human liberty as Thomas Paine?
+
+
+
+
+272. Infidels the Pioneers of Progress
+
+The history of intellectual progress is written in the lives of
+infidels. Political rights have been preserved by traitors--the liberty
+of the mind by heretics. To attack the king was treason--to dispute the
+priest was blasphemy. The sword and cross were allies. They defended
+each other. The throne and the altar were twins--vultures from the same
+egg. It was James I. who said: "No bishop, no king." He might have said:
+"No cross, no crown." The king owned the bodies, and the priest the
+souls, of men. One lived on taxes, the other on alms. One was a robber,
+the other a beggar. These robbers and beggars controlled two worlds.
+The king made laws, the priest made creeds. With bowed backs the people
+received the burdens of the one, and, with wonder's open mouth, the
+dogmas of the other. If any aspired to be free, they were slaughtered by
+the king, and every priest was a Herod who slaughtered the children
+of the brain. The king ruled by force, the priest by fear, and both by
+both. The king said to the people: "God made you peasants, and He made
+me king. He made rags and hovels for you, robes and palaces for me. Such
+is the justice of God." And the priest said: "God made you ignorant and
+vile. He made me holy and wise. If you do not obey me, God will punish
+you here and torment you hereafter. Such is the mercy of God."
+
+
+
+
+273. Infidels the Great Discoverers
+
+Infidels are the intellectual discoverers. They sail the unknown seas,
+and in the realms of thought they touch the shores of other worlds. An
+infidel is the finder of a new fact--one who in the mental sky has seen
+another star. He is an intellectual capitalist, and for that reason
+excites the envy of theological paupers.
+
+
+
+
+274. The Altar of Reason
+
+Virtue is a subordination, of the passions to the intellect. It is to
+act in accordance with your highest convictions. It does not consist in
+believing, but in doing. This is the sublime truth that the Infidels in
+all ages have uttered. They have handed the torch from one to the other
+through all the years that have fled. Upon the altar of reason they have
+kept the sacred fire, and through the long midnight of faith they fed
+the divine flame.
+
+
+
+
+GODS AND DEVILS
+
+
+
+
+275. Every Nation has Created a God
+
+Each nation has created a God, and the God has always resembled his
+creators. He hated and loved what they hated and loved. Each God was
+intensely patriotic, and detested all nations but his own. All these
+gods demanded praise, flattery and worship. Most of them were pleased
+with sacrifice, and the smell of innocent blood has ever been considered
+a divine perfume. All these gods have insisted on having a vast number
+of priests, and the priests have always insisted upon being supported
+by the people; and the principle business of these priests has been
+to boast that their God could easily vanquish all the other gods put
+together.
+
+
+
+
+276. Gods with Back-Hair
+
+Man, having always been the physical superior of woman, accounts for
+the fact that most of the high gods have been males. Had women been the
+physical superior; the powers supposed to be the rulers of Nature would
+have been woman, and instead of being represented in the apparel of man,
+they would have luxuriated in trains, low-necked dresses, laces and
+back-hair.
+
+
+
+
+277. Creation the Decomposition of the Infinite
+
+Admitting that a god did create the universe, the question then arises,
+of what did he create it? It certainly was not made of nothing. Nothing,
+considered in the light of a raw material, is a most decided failure. It
+follows, then, that the god must have made the universe out of himself,
+he being the only existence. The universe is material, and if it was
+made of god, the god must have been material. With this very thought in
+his mind, Anaximander of Miletus, said: "Creation is the decomposition
+of the infinite."
+
+
+
+
+278. The Gods Are as the People Are
+
+No god was ever in advance of the nation that created him. The <DW64>s
+represented their deities with black skins and curly hair: The Mongolian
+gave to his a yellow complexion and dark almond-shaped eyes. The Jews
+were not allowed to paint theirs, or we should have seen Jehovah with
+a full beard, an oval face, and an aquiline nose. Zeus was a perfect
+Greek, and Jove looked as though a member of the Roman senate. The gods
+of Egypt had the patient face and placid look of the loving people who
+made them. The gods of northern countries were represented warmly clad
+in robes of fur; those of the tropics were naked. The gods of India
+were often mounted upon elephants; those of some islanders were great
+swimmers, and the deities of the Arctic zone were passionately fond of
+whale's blubber.
+
+
+
+
+279. Gods Shouldn't Make Mistakes
+
+Generally the devotee has modeled them after himself, and has given them
+hands, heads, feet, eyes, ears, and organs of speech. Each nation made
+its gods and devils not only speak its language, but put in their mouths
+the same mistakes in history, geography, astronomy, and in all matters
+of fact, generally made by the people.
+
+
+
+
+280. Miracles
+
+No one, in the world's whole history, ever attempted to substantiate a
+truth by a miracle. Truth scorns the assistance of miracle. Nothing but
+falsehood ever attested itself by signs and wonders. No miracle ever was
+performed, and no sane man ever thought he had performed one, and until
+one is performed, there can be no evidence of the existence of any power
+superior to, and independent of nature.
+
+
+
+
+281. Plenty of Gods on Hand
+
+Man has never been at a loss for gods. He has worshipped almost
+everything, including the vilest and most disgusting beasts. He has
+worshipped fire, earth, air, water, light, stars, and for hundreds, of
+ages prostrated himself before enormous snakes. Savage tribes often make
+gods of articles they get from civilized people. The Todas worship
+a cowbell. The Kodas worship two silver plates, which they regard as
+husband and wife, and another tribe manufactured a god out of a king of
+hearts.
+
+
+
+
+282. The Devil Difficulty
+
+In the olden times the existence of devils was universally admitted. The
+people had no doubt upon that subject, and from such belief it followed
+as a matter of course, that a person, in order to vanquish these devils,
+had either to be a god, or to be assisted by one. All founders of
+religions have established their claims to divine origin by controlling
+evil spirits, and suspending the laws of nature. Casting out devils was
+a certificate of divinity. A prophet, unable to cope with the powers of
+darkness, was regarded with contempt. The utterance of the highest and
+noblest sentiments, the most blameless and holy life, commanded but
+little respect, unless accompanied by power to work miracles and command
+spirits.
+
+
+
+
+283. Was the Devil an Idiot?
+
+The Christians now claim that Jesus was God. If he was God, of course
+the devil knew that fact, and yet, according to this account, the devil
+took the omnipotent God and placed him upon a pinnacle of the temple,
+and endeavored to induce him, to dash himself against the earth. Failing
+in that, he took the creator, owner and governor of the universe up into
+an exceeding high mountain, and offered him this world--this grain of
+sand--if he, the God of all the worlds, would fall down and worship
+him, a poor devil, without even a tax title to one foot of dirt! Is it
+possible the devil was such an idiot? Should any great credit be given
+to this deity for not being caught with such chaff? Think of it! The
+devil--the prince of sharpers--the king of cunning--the master of
+finesse, trying to bribe God with a grain of sand that belonged to God!
+
+
+
+
+284. Industrious Deities
+
+Few nations have been so poor as to have but one god. Gods were made
+so easily, and the raw material cost so little, that generally the god
+market was fairly glutted, and heaven crammed with these phantoms. These
+gods not only attended to the skies, but were supposed to interfere in
+all the affairs of men. They presided over everybody and everything.
+They attended to every department. All was supposed to be under their
+immediate control. Nothing was too small--nothing too large; the falling
+of sparrows and the motions of the planets were alike attended to by
+these industrious and observing deities.
+
+
+
+
+285. God in Idleness
+
+If a god created the universe, then, there must have been a time when he
+commenced to create. Back of that time there must have been an eternity,
+during which there had existed nothing--absolutely nothing--except this
+supposed god. According to this theory, this god spent an eternity, so
+to speak, in an infinite vacuum, and in perfect idleness.
+
+
+
+
+286. Fancy a Devil Drowning a World
+
+One of these gods, according to the account, drowned an entire world,
+with the exception of eight persons. The old, the young, the beautiful
+and the helpless were remorselessly devoured by the shoreless sea. This,
+the most fearful tragedy that the imagination of ignorant priests ever
+conceived, was the act, not of a devil, but of a god, so-called, whom
+men ignorantly worship unto this day. What a stain such an act would
+leave upon the character of a devil!
+
+
+
+
+287. Some Gods Very Particular About Little Things
+
+From their starry thrones they frequently came to the earth for the
+purpose of imparting information to man. It is related of one that he
+came amid thunderings and lightnings in order to tell the people that
+they should not cook a kid in its mother's milk. Some left their shining
+abodes to tell women that they should, or should not, have children, to
+inform a priest how to cut and wear his apron, and to give directions as
+to the proper manner of cleaning the intestines of a bird.
+
+
+
+
+288 The Gods of To-day the Scorn of To-morrow
+
+Nations, like individuals, have their periods of youth, of manhood and
+decay. Religions are the same. The same inexorable destiny awaits them
+all. The gods created by the nations must perish with their creators.
+They were created by men, and like men, they must pass away. The deities
+of one age are the by-words of the next.
+
+
+
+
+289. No Evidence of a God in Nature
+
+The best minds, even in the religious world, admit that in the material
+nature there is no evidence of what they are pleased to call a god.
+They find their evidence in the phenomena of intelligence, and very
+innocently assert that intelligence is above, and in fact, opposed to
+nature. They insist that man, at least, is a special creation; that
+he has somewhere in his brain a divine spark, a little portion of the
+"Great First Cause." They say that matter cannot produce thought; but
+that thought can produce matter. They tell us that man has intelligence,
+and therefore there must be an intelligence greater than his. Why not
+say, God has intelligence, therefore there must be an intelligence
+greater than his? So far as we know, there is no intelligence apart
+from matter. We cannot conceive of thought, except as produced within a
+brain.
+
+
+
+
+290. Great Variety in Gods
+
+Gods have been manufactured after numberless models., and according to
+the most grotesque fashions. Some have a thousand arms, some a hundred
+heads, some are adorned with necklaces of living snakes, some are armed
+with clubs, some with sword and shield, some with bucklers, and some
+have wings as a cherub; some were invisible, some would show themselves
+entire, and some would only show their backs; some were jealous, some
+were foolish, some turned themselves into men, some into swans, some
+into bulls, some into doves, and some into Holy-Ghosts, and made love
+to the beautiful daughters of men: Some were married--all ought to have
+been--and some were considered as old bachelors from all eternity. Some
+had children, and the children were turned into gods and worshiped as
+their fathers had been. Most of these gods were revengeful, savage,
+lustful, and ignorant. As they generally depended upon their priests for
+information, their ignorance can hardly excite our astonishment.
+
+
+
+
+291. God Grows Smaller
+
+"But," says the religionist, "you cannot explain everything; and that
+which you cannot explain, that which you do not comprehend, is my God."
+We are explaining more every day. We are understanding more every day;
+consequently your God is growing smaller every day.
+
+
+
+
+292. Give the Devil His Due
+
+If the account given in Genesis is really true, ought we not, after all,
+to thank this serpent? He was the first schoolmaster, the first advocate
+of learning, the first enemy of ignorance, the first to whisper in human
+ears the sacred word liberty, the creator of ambition, the author of
+modesty, of inquiry, of doubt, of investigation, of progress and of
+civilization.
+
+
+
+
+293. Casting out Devils
+
+Even Christ, the supposed son of God, taught that persons were possessed
+of evil spirits, and frequently, according to the account, gave proof of
+his divine origin and mission by frightening droves of devils out of his
+unfortunate countrymen. Casting out devils was his principal employment,
+and the devils thus banished generally took occasion to acknowledge him
+as the true Messiah; which was not only very kind of them, but quite
+fortunate for him.
+
+
+
+
+294. On the Horns of a Dilemma
+
+The history of religion is simply the story of man's efforts in all ages
+to avoid one of two great powers, and to pacify the other. Both powers
+have inspired little else than abject fear. The cold, calculating sneer
+of the devil, and the frown of God, were equally terrible. In any event,
+man's fate was to be arbitrarily fixed forever by an unknown power
+superior to all law, and to all fact.
+
+
+
+
+295. The Devil and the Swine
+
+How are you going to prove a miracle? How would you go to work to prove
+that the devil entered into a drove of swine? Who saw it, and who would
+know a devil if he did see him?
+
+
+
+
+296. How can I assist God?
+
+Some tell me that it is the desire of God that I should worship Him?
+What for? That I should sacrifice something to Him? What for? Is he in
+want? Can I assist Him? If he is in want and I can assist Him and will
+not, I would be an ingrate and an infamous wretch. But I am satisfied
+that I cannot by any possibility assist the infinite. Whom can I assist?
+My fellow men. I can help feed the hungry, clothe the naked, enlighten
+ignorance. I can help at least, in some degree, toward covering this
+world with a mantle of joy I may be wrong, but I do not believe that
+there is any being in this universe who gives rain for praise, who gives
+sunshine for prayer, or who blesses a man simply because he kneels.
+
+
+
+
+297. Can God be Improved?
+
+If the infinite "Father" allows a majority of his children to live in
+ignorance and wretchedness now, what evidence is there that he will ever
+improve their condition? Will God have more power? Will he become more
+merciful? Will his love for his poor creatures increase? Can the conduct
+of infinite wisdom, power and love ever change? Is the infinite capable
+of any improvement whatever?
+
+
+
+
+298. That Dreadful Apple!
+
+According to the theologians, God prepared this globe expressly for the
+habitation of his loved children, and yet he filled the forests with
+ferocious beasts; placed serpents in every path; stuffed the world
+with earthquakes, and adorned its surface with mountains of flame.
+Notwithstanding all this, we are told that the world is perfect; that
+it was created by a perfect being, and is therefore necessarily perfect.
+The next moment, these same persons will tell us that the world was
+cursed; covered with brambles, thistles and thorns, and that man was
+doomed to disease and death, simply because our poor, dear mother ate an
+apple contrary to the command of an arbitrary God.
+
+
+
+
+299. The Devils better than the Gods
+
+Our ancestors not only had their God-factories, but they made devils
+as well. These devils were generally disgraced and fallen gods. These
+devils generally sympathized with man. In nearly all the theologies,
+mythologies and religions, the devils have been much more humane and
+merciful than the gods. No devil ever gave one of his generals an order
+to kill children and to rip open the bodies of pregnant women. Such
+barbarities were always ordered by the good gods! The pestilences were
+sent by the most merciful gods! The frightful famine, during which the
+dying child with pallid lips sucked the withered bosom of a dead
+mother, was sent by the loving gods. No devil was ever charged with such
+fiendish brutality.
+
+
+
+
+300. Is it Possible?
+
+Is it possible that an infinite God created this world simply to be the
+dwelling-place of slaves and serfs? simply for the purpose of raising
+orthodox Christians? That he did a few miracles to astonish them; that
+all the evils of life are simply his punishments, and that he is finally
+going to turn heaven into a kind of religious museum filled with Baptist
+barnacles, petrified Presbyterians and Methodist mummies? I want no
+heaven for which I must give my reason; no happiness in exchange for
+my liberty, and no immortality that demands the surrender of my
+individuality. Better rot in the windowless tomb, to which there is no
+door but the red mouth of the pallid worm, than wear the jeweled collar
+even of a god.
+
+
+
+
+301. It is Impossible!
+
+It is impossible to conceive of a more thoroughly despicable, hateful,
+and arrogant being, than the Jewish god. He is without a redeeming
+feature. In the mythology of the world he has no parallel. He, only, is
+never touched by agony and tears. He delights only in blood and pain.
+Human affections are naught to him. He cares neither for love nor music,
+beauty nor joy. A false friend, an unjust judge, a braggart, hypocrite,
+and tyrant. Compared with Jehovah, Pharaoh was a benefactor, and the
+tyranny of Egypt was freedom to those who suffered the liberty of God.
+
+
+
+
+HEAVEN AND HELL
+
+
+
+
+302. Hope of a Future Life
+
+For my part I know nothing of any other state of existence, either
+before or after this, and I have never become personally acquainted with
+anybody who did. There may be another life, and if there is the best
+way to prepare for it is by making somebody happy in this. God certainly
+cannot afford to put a man in hell who has made a little heaven in this
+world. I hope there is another life. I would like to see how things come
+out in this world when I am dead. There are some people I should like to
+see again, but if there is no other life I shall never know it.
+
+
+
+
+303. I am Immortal
+
+So far as I am concerned I am immortal; that is to say, I can't
+recollect when I did not exist, and there never will be a time when I
+will remember that I do not exist. I would like to have several millions
+of dollars, and I may say I have a lively hope that some day I may be
+rich; but to tell you the truth I have very little evidence of it. Our
+hope of immortality does not come from any religions, but nearly all
+religions come from that hope. The Old Testament, instead of telling
+us that we are immortal, tells us how we lost immortality. You will
+recollect that if Adam and Eve could have gotten to the tree of life,
+they would have eaten of its fruit and would have lived forever; but for
+the purpose of preventing immortality God turned them out of the Garden
+of Eden, and put certain angels with swords or sabres at the gate to
+keep them from getting back. The Old Testament proves, if it proves
+anything, which I do not think it does, that there is no life after
+this; and the New Testament is not very specific on the subject. There
+were a great many opportunities for the Savior and his apostles to
+tell us about another world, but they didn't improve them to any great
+extent; and the only evidence so far as I know about another life is,
+first, that we have no evidence; and, secondly, that we are rather sorry
+that we have not, and wish we had. That is about my position.
+
+
+
+
+304. What if Death Does End All?
+
+And suppose, after all, that death does end all. Next to eternal joy,
+next to being forever with those we love and those who have loved us,
+next to that is to be wrapped in the dreamless drapery of eternal peace.
+Next to eternal life is eternal death. Upon the shadowy shore of death
+the sea of trouble casts no wave. Eyes that have been curtained by the
+everlasting dark will never know again the touch of tears. Lips that
+have been touched by the eternal silence will never utter another word
+of grief. Hearts of dust do not break. The dead do not weep. And I had
+rather think of those I have loved, and those I have lost, as having
+returned to earth, as having become a part of the elemental wealth of
+the the world. I would rather think of them as unconscious dust. I would
+rather think of them as gurgling in the stream, floating in the cloud,
+bursting into light upon the shores of worlds. I would rather think
+of them thus than to have even a suspicion that their souls had been
+clutched by an orthodox God.
+
+
+
+
+305. The Old World Ignorant of Destiny
+
+Moses differed from most of the makers of sacred books by his failure
+to say anything of a future life, by failing to promise heaven, and to
+threaten hell. Upon the subject of a future state, there is not one
+word in the Pentateuch. Probably at that early day God did not deem
+it important to make a revelation as to the eternal destiny of man.
+He seems to have thought that he could control the Jews, at least, by
+rewards and punishments in this world, and so he kept the frightful
+realities of eternal joy and torment a profound secret from the people
+of his choice. He thought it far more important to tell the Jews their
+origin than to enlighten them as to their destiny.
+
+
+
+
+306. Where the Doctrine of Hell was born
+
+I honestly believe that the doctrine of hell was born in the glittering
+eyes of snakes that run in frightful coils watching for their prey. I
+believe it was born in the yelping and howling and growling and snarling
+of wild beasts. I believe it was born in the grin of hyenas and in the
+malicious clatter of depraved apes. I despise it, I defy it, and I hate
+it; and when the great ship freighted with the world goes down in
+the night of death, chaos and disaster, I will not be guilty of the
+ineffable meanness of pushing from my breast my wife and children and
+paddling off in some orthodox canoe. I will go down with those I love
+and with those who love me. I will go down with the ship and with my
+race. I will go where there is sympathy. I will go with those I love.
+Nothing can make me believe that there is any being that is going to
+burn and torment and damn his children forever.
+
+
+
+
+307. The Grand Companionships of Hell
+
+Since hanging has got to be a means of grace, I would prefer hell. I had
+a thousand times rather associate with the pagan philosophers than with
+the inquisitors of the middle ages. I certainly should prefer the worst
+man in Greek or Roman history to John Calvin, and I can imagine no man
+in the world that I would not rather sit on the same bench with than the
+puritan fathers and the founders of orthodox churches. I would trade off
+my harp any minute for a seat in the other country. All the poets will
+be in perdition, and the greatest thinkers, and, I should think, most
+of the women whose society would tend to increase the happiness of
+man, nearly all the painters, nearly all the sculptors, nearly all
+the writers of plays, nearly all the great actors, most of the best
+musicians, and nearly all the good fellows--the persons who know good
+stories, who can sing songs, or who will loan a friend a dollar.
+They will mostly all be in that country, and if I did not live there
+permanently, I certainly would want it so I could spend my winter months
+there.
+
+
+
+
+308. Horror of Horrors!
+
+Let me put one case and I will be through with this branch of the
+subject. A husband and wife love each other. The husband is a good
+fellow and the wife a splendid woman. They live and love each other and
+all at once he is taken sick, and they watch day after day and night
+after night around his bedside until their property is wasted and
+finally she has to go to work, and she works through eyes blinded with
+tears, and the sentinel of love watches at the bedside of her prince,
+and at the least breath or the least motion she is awake; and she
+attends him night after night and day after day for years, and finally
+he dies, and she has him in her arms and covers his wasted face with the
+tears of agony and love. He is a believer and she is not. He dies, and
+she buries him and puts flowers above his grave, and she goes there in
+the twilight of evening and she takes her children, and tells her little
+boys and girls through her tears how brave and how true and how tender
+their father was, and finally she dies and goes to hell, because she was
+not a believer; and he goes to the battlements of heaven and looks over
+and sees the woman who loved him with all the wealth of her love, and
+whose tears made his dead face holy and sacred, and he looks upon her
+in the agonies of hell without having his happiness diminished in the
+least. With all due respect to everybody I say, damn any such doctrine
+as that.
+
+
+
+
+309. The Drama of Damnation
+
+When you come to die, as you look back upon the record of your life, no
+matter how many men you have wrecked and ruined, and no matter how many
+women you have deceived and deserted--all that may be forgiven you;
+but if you recollect that you have laughed at God's book you will see
+through the shadows of death, the leering looks of fiends and the forked
+tongues of devils. Let me show you how it will be. For instance, it
+is the day of judgment. When the man is called up by the recording
+secretary, or whoever does the cross-examining, he says to his soul:
+"Where are you from?" "I am from the world." "Yes, sir. What kind of a
+man were you?" "Well, I don't like to talk about myself." "But you have
+to. What kind of a man were you?" "Well, I was a good fellow; I loved
+my wife; I loved my children. My home was my heaven; my fireside was my
+paradise, and to sit there and see the lights and shadows falling on the
+faces of those I love, that to me was a perpetual joy. I never gave one
+of them a solitary moment of pain. I don't owe a dollar in the world,
+and I left enough to pay my funeral expenses and keep the wolf of want
+from the door of the house I loved. That is the kind of a man I am."
+"Did you belong to any church?" "I did not. They were too narrow for me.
+They were always expecting to be happy simply because somebody else was
+to be damned." "Well, did you believe that rib story?" "What rib story?
+Do you mean that Adam and Eve business? No, I did not. To tell you the
+God's truth, that was a little more than I could swallow." "To hell
+with him! Next. Where are you from?" "I'm from the world, too." "Do
+you belong to any church?" "Yes, sir, and to the Young Men's Christian
+Association." "What is your business?" "Cashier in a bank." "Did you
+ever run off with any of the money?" "I don't like to tell, sir." "Well,
+but you have to." "Yes, sir; I did."
+
+"What kind of a bank did you have?" "A savings bank." "How much did you
+run off with?" "One hundred thousand dollars." "Did you take anything
+else along with you?" "Yes, sir." "What?" "I took my neighbor's wife."
+"Did you have a wife and children of your own?" "Yes, sir." "And you
+deserted them?" "Oh, yes; but such was my confidence in God that I
+believed he would take care of them." "Have you heard of them since?"
+"No, sir." "Did you believe that rib story?" "Ah, bless your soul, yes!
+I believed all of it, sir; I often used to be sorry that there were
+not harder stories yet in the Bible, so that I could show what my faith
+could do." "You believed it, did you?" "Yes, with all my heart." "Give
+him a harp."
+
+
+
+
+310. Annihilation rather than be a God
+
+No God has a right to make a man he intends to drown. Eternal wisdom has
+no right to make a poor investment, no right to engage in a speculation
+that will not finally pay a dividend. No God has a right to make
+a failure, and surely a man who is to be damned forever is not a
+conspicuous success. Yet upon love's breast, the Church has placed that
+asp; around the child of immortality the Church has coiled the worm that
+never dies. For my part I want no heaven, if there is to be a hell. I
+would rather be annihilated than be a god and know that one human soul
+would have to suffer eternal agony.
+
+
+
+
+311. "All that have Red Hair shall be Damned."
+
+I admit that most Christians are honest--always have admitted it. I
+admit that most ministers are honest, and that they are doing the best
+they can in their way for the good of mankind; but their doctrines are
+hurtful; they do harm in the world; and I am going to do what I can
+against their doctrines. They preach this infamy: "He that believes
+shall be saved, and he that believeth not shall be damned." Every word
+of that text has been an instrument of torture; every letter in that
+text has been a sword thrust into the bleeding and quivering heart of
+man; every letter has been a dungeon; every line has been a chain; and
+that infamous sentence has covered this world with blood. I deny that
+"whoso believes shall be saved, and he that believeth not shall be
+damned." No man can control his belief; you might as well say, "All that
+have red hair shall be damned."
+
+
+
+
+312. The Conscience of a Hyena
+
+But, after all, what I really want to do is to destroy the idea of
+eternal punishment. That doctrine subverts all ideas of justice. That
+doctrine fills hell with honest men, and heaven with intellectual and
+moral paupers. That doctrine allows people to sin on a credit. That
+doctrine allows the basest to be eternally happy and the most honorable
+to suffer eternal pain. I think of all doctrines it is the most
+infinitely infamous, and would disgrace the lowest savage, and any man
+who believes it, and has imagination enough to understand it, has the
+heart of a serpent and the conscience of a hyena.
+
+
+
+
+313. I Leave the Dead
+
+But for me I leave the dead where nature leaves them, and whatever
+flower of hope springs up in my heart I will cherish. But I cannot
+believe that there is any being in this universe who has created a
+soul for eternal pain, and I would rather that every God would destroy
+himself, I would rather that we all should go back to the eternal chaos,
+to the black and starless night, than that just one soul should suffer
+eternal agony.
+
+
+
+
+314. Calvin in Hell!
+
+Swedenborg did one thing for which I feel almost grateful. He gave an
+account of having met John Calvin in hell. Nothing connected with the
+supernatural could be more natural than this. The only thing detracting
+from the value of this report is, that if there is a hell, we know
+without visiting the place that John Calvin must be there.
+
+
+
+
+GOVERNING GREAT MEN
+
+
+
+
+315. Jesus Christ
+
+And let me say here once for all, that for the man Christ I have
+infinite respect. Let me say once for all that the place where man has
+died for man is holy ground. Let me say once for all, to that great and
+serene man I gladly pay--I _gladly_ pay the tribute of my admiration and
+my tears. He was a reformer in his day. He was an infidel in his
+time. He was regarded as a blasphemer, and his life was destroyed by
+hypocrites who have in all ages done what they could to trample freedom
+out of the human mind. Had I lived at that time I would have been his
+friend. And should he come again he will not find a better friend than
+I will be. That is for the man. For the theological creation I have
+a different feeling. If he was in fact God, he knew there was no such
+thing as death; he knew that what we call death was but the eternal
+opening of the golden gates of everlasting joy. And it took no heroism
+to face a death that was simply eternal life.
+
+
+
+
+316. The Emperor Constantine.
+
+The Emperor Constantine, who lifted Christianity into power, murdered
+his wife Fausta and his eldest son Crispus the same year that he
+convened the council of Nice to decide whether Jesus Christ was a man or
+the son of God. The council decided that Christ was substantial with
+the Father. This was in the year 325. We are thus indebted to a wife
+murderer for settling the vexed question of the divinity of the Savior.
+Theodosius called a council at Constantinople in 381, and this council
+decided that the Holy Ghost proceeded from the Father. Theodosius,
+the younger, assembled another council at Ephesus to ascertain who the
+Virgin Mary really was, and it was solemnly decided in the year 431 that
+she was the mother of God. In 451 it was decided by a council held at
+Chalcedon, called together by the Emperor Marcian, that Christ had two
+natures--the human and divine. In 680, in another general council, held
+at Constantinople, convened by order of Pognatius, it was also decided
+that Christ had two wills, and in the year 1274 it was decided at the
+council of Lyons that the Holy Ghost proceeded not only from the Father,
+but from the Son as well. Had it not been for these councils we might
+have been without a trinity even unto this day. When we take into
+consideration the fact that a belief in the trinity is absolutely
+essential to salvation, how unfortunate it was for the world that this
+doctrine was not established until the year 1274. Think of the millions
+that dropped into hell while these questions were being discussed.
+
+
+
+
+317. Did Franklin and Jefferson Die in Fear?
+
+The church never has pretended that Jefferson or Franklin died in fear.
+Franklin wrote no books against the fables of the ancient Jews. He
+thought it useless to cast the pearls of thought before the swine of
+ignorance and fear. Jefferson was a statesman. He was the father of a
+great party. He gave his views in letters and to trusted friends. He
+was a Virginian, author of the Declaration of Independence, founder of a
+university, father of a political party, President of the United States,
+a statesman and philosopher. He was too powerful for the churches of
+his day. Paine was a foreigner, a citizen of the world. He had attacked
+Washington and the Bible. He had done these things openly, and what
+he had said could not be answered. His arguments were so good that his
+character was bad.
+
+
+
+
+318. Angels at Constantino's Dying Bed!
+
+The Emperor, stained with every crime, is supposed to have died like a
+Christian. We hear nothing of fiends leering at him in the shadows of
+death. He does not see the forms of his murdered wife and son covered
+with the blood he shed. From his white and shriveled lips issued no
+shrieks of terror. He does not cover his glazed eyes with thin and
+trembling hands to shut out the visions of hell. His chamber is filled
+with the rustle of wings waiting to bear his soul to the thrilling
+realms of joy. Against the Emperor Constantine the church has hurled no
+anathema. She has accepted the story of his vision in the clouds, and
+his holy memory has been guarded by priest and pope.
+
+
+
+
+319. Diderot
+
+Diderot was born in 1713. His parents were in what may be called the
+humbler walks of life. Like Voltaire, he was educated by the Jesuits. He
+had in him something of the vagabond, and was for several years almost a
+beggar in Paris. He was endeavoring to live by his pen. In that day and
+generation a man without a patron, endeavoring to live by literature,
+was necessarily almost a beggar. He nearly starved--frequently going
+for days without food. Afterward, when he had something himself, he was
+generous as the air. No man ever was more willing to give, and no man
+less willing to receive, than Diderot. His motto was, "Incredulity
+is the first step toward philosophy." He had the vices of most
+Christians--was nearly as immoral as the majority of priests. His vices
+he shared in common--his virtues were his own--All who knew him united
+in saying that he had the pity of a woman, the generosity of a prince,
+the self-denial of an anchorite, the courage of Caesar, an insatiate
+thirst foi knowledge, and the enthusiasm of a poet. He attacked with
+every power of his mind the superstition of his day. He said what
+he thought. The priests hated him. He was in favor of universal
+education--the church despised it. He wished to put the knowledge of
+the whole world within reach of the poorest. He wished to drive from
+the gate of the Garden of Eden the cherubim of superstition, so that
+the child of Adam might return to eat once more the fruit of the tree
+of knowledge. Every Catholic was his enemy. His poor little desk was
+ransacked by the police, searching for manuscripts in which something
+might be found that would justify the imprisonment of such a dangerous
+man. Whoever, in 1750, wished to increase the knowledge of mankind was
+regarded as the enemy of social order.
+
+
+
+
+320. Benedict Spinoza
+
+One of the greatest thinkers of the world was Benedict Spinoza--a Jew,
+born at Amsterdam in 1638. He studied medicine, and afterward theology.
+He asked the rabbis so many questions, and insisted to such a degree on
+what he called reason, that his room was preferred to his company.
+His Jewish brethren excommunicated him from the synagogue. Under the
+terrible curse of their religion he was made an outcast from every
+Jewish home. His own father could not give him shelter, and his mother,
+after the curse had been pronounced, could not give him bread, could not
+even speak to him, without becoming an outcast herself. All the cruelty
+of Jehovah was in this curse. Spinoza was but twenty-four years old
+when he found himself without friends and without kindred. He uttered
+no complaint. He earned his bread with willing hands, and cheerfully
+divided his poor crust with those below. He tried to solve the problem
+of existence. To him the universe was one. The infinite embraced the
+all. The all was God. According to him the universe did not commence to
+be. It is; from eternity it was; and to eternity it will be. He insisted
+that God is inside, not outside, of what we call substance. To him the
+universe was God.
+
+
+
+
+321. Thomas Paine
+
+Poverty was his mother--Necessity his master. He had more brains than
+books; more sense than education; more courage than politeness;
+more strength than polish. He had no veneration for old mistakes--no
+admiration for ancient lies. He loved the truth for the truth's
+sake, and for man's sake. He saw oppression on every hand; injustice
+everywhere; hypocrisy at the altar, venality on the bench, tyranny on
+the throne; and with a splendid courage he espoused the cause of the
+weak against the strong--of the enslaved many against the titled few.
+
+
+
+
+322. The Greatest of all Political Writers
+
+In my judgment, Thomas Paine was the best political writer that ever
+lived. "What he wrote was pure nature, and his soul and his pen ever
+went together." Ceremony, pageantry, and all the paraphernalia of
+power, had no effect upon him. He examined into the why and wherefore of
+things. He was perfectly radical in his mode of thought. Nothing short
+of the bed-rock satisfied him. His enthusiasm for what he believed to
+be right knew no bounds. During all the dark scenes of the Revolution,
+never for one moment did he despair. Year after year his brave words
+were ringing through the land, and by the bivouac fires the weary
+soldiers read the inspiring words of "Common Sense," filled with ideas
+sharper than their swords, and consecrated themselves anew to the cause
+of Freedom.
+
+
+
+
+323. The Writings of Paine
+
+The writings of Paine are gemmed with compact statements that carry
+conviction to the dullest. Day and night he labored for America, until
+there was a government of the people and for the people. At the close
+of the Revolution no one stood higher than Thomas Paine. Had he been
+willing to live a hypocrite, he would have been respectable, he at least
+could have died surrounded by other hypocrites, and at his death there
+would have been an imposing funeral, with miles of carriages, filled
+with hypocrites, and above his hypocritical dust there would have been a
+hypocritical monument covered with lies.
+
+
+
+
+324. The Last Words of Paine.
+
+The truth is, he died as he had lived. Some ministers were impolite
+enough to visit him against his will. Several of them he ordered
+from his room. A couple of Catholic priests, in all the meekness of
+hypocrisy, called that they might enjoy the agonies of a dying friend
+of man. Thomas Paine, rising in his bed, the few embers of expiring life
+blown into flame by the breath of indignation, had the goodness to curse
+them both. His physician, who seems to have been a meddling fool, just
+as the cold hand of death was touching the patriot's heart, whispered
+in the dull ear of the dying man: "Do you believe, or do you wish to
+believe, that Jesus Christ is the Son of God?" And the reply was: "I
+have no wish to believe on that subject." These were the last remembered
+words of Thomas Paine. He died as serenely as ever Christian passed
+away. He died in the full possession of his mind, and on the very brink
+and edge of death proclaimed the doctrines of his life.
+
+
+
+
+325. Paine Believed in God
+
+Thomas Paine was a champion in both hemispheres of human liberty; one of
+the founders and fathers of the Republic; one of the foremost men of his
+age. He never wrote a word in favor of injustice. He was a despiser of
+slavery. He abhorred tyranny in every form. He wast in the widest and
+best sense, a friend of all his race. His head was as clear as his heart
+was good, and he had the courage to speak his honest thought. He was
+the first man to write these words: "The United States of America." He
+proposed the present federal constitution. He furnished every thought
+that now glitters in the Declaration of Independence. He believed in one
+God and no more. He was a believer even in special providence, and he
+hoped for immortality.
+
+
+
+
+326. The Intellectual Hera
+
+Thomas Paine was one of the intellectual heroes--one of the men to whom
+we are indebted. His name is associated forever with the Great Republic.
+As long as free government exists he will be remembered, admired and
+honored. He lived a long, laborious and useful life. The world is better
+for his having lived. For the sake of truth he accepted hatred and
+reproach for his portion. He ate the bitter bread of sorrow. His friends
+were untrue to him because he was true to himself, and true to them. He
+lost the respect of what is called society, but kept his own. His life
+is what the world calls failure and what history calls success. If to
+love your fellow-men more than self is goodness, Thomas Paine was good.
+If to be in advance of your time--to be a pioneer in the direction of
+right--is greatness.
+
+Thomas Paine was great. If to avow your principles and discharge your
+duty in the presence of death is heroic, Thomas Paine was a hero. At the
+age of seventy-three, death touched his tired heart. He died in the land
+his genius defended--under the flag he gave to the skies. Slander cannot
+touch him now--hatred cannot reach him more. He sleeps in the sanctuary
+of the tomb, beneath the quiet of the stars.
+
+
+
+
+327. Paine, Franklin, Jefferson
+
+In our country there were three infidels--Paine, Franklin and Jefferson.
+The colonies were full of superstition, the Puritans with the spirit
+of persecution. Laws savage, ignorant, and malignant had been passed in
+every colony for the purpose of destroying intellectual liberty.
+Mental freedom was absolutely unknown. The toleration acts of
+Maryland tolerated only Christians--not infidels, not thinkers, not
+investigators. The charity of Roger Williams was not extended to those
+who denied the Bible, or suspected the divinity of Christ. It was not
+based upon the rights of man, but upon the rights of believers, who
+differed in non-essential points.
+
+
+
+
+328. David Hume
+
+On the 26th of April, 1711, David Hume was born. David Hume was one of
+the few Scotchmen of his day who were not owned by the church. He had
+the manliness to examine historical and religious questions for himself,
+and the courage to give his conclusions to the world. He was singularly
+capable of governing himself. He was a philosopher, and lived a calm
+and cheerful life, unstained by an unjust act, free from all excess,
+and devoted in a reasonable degree to benefiting his fellow-men. After
+examining the Bible he became convinced that it was not true. For
+failing to suppress his real opinion, for failing to tell a deliberate
+falsehood, he brought upon him the hatred of the church.
+
+
+
+
+329. Voltaire
+
+Voltaire was the intellectual autocrat of his time. From his throne at
+the foot of the Alps he pointed the finger of scorn at every hypocrite
+in Europe. He left the quiver of ridicule without an arrow. He was the
+pioneer of his century. He was the assassin of superstition. Through the
+shadows of faith and fable, through the darkness of myth and miracle,
+through the midnight of Christianity, through the blackness of bigotry,
+past cathedral and dungeon, past rack and stake, past altar and throne,
+he carried, with brave and chivalric hands, the torch of reason.
+
+
+
+
+330. John Calvin
+
+Calvin was of a pallid, bloodless complexion, thin, sickly, irritable,
+gloomy, impatient, egotistic, tyrannical, heartless, and infamous. He
+was a strange compound of revengeful morality, malicious forgiveness,
+ferocious charity, egotistic humility, and a kind of hellish justice.
+In other words, he was as near like the God of the Old Testament as his
+health permitted.
+
+
+
+
+331. Calvin's Five Fetters
+
+This man forged five fetters for the brain. These fetters he called
+points. That is to say, predestination, particular redemption, total
+depravity, irresistible grace, and the perseverance of the saints. About
+the neck of each follower he put a collar bristling with these five iron
+points. The presence of all these points on the collar is still the test
+of orthodoxy in the church he founded. This man, when in the flush of
+youth, was elected to the office of preacher in Geneva. He at once,
+in union with Farel, drew up a condensed statement of the Presbyterian
+doctrine, and all the citizens of Geneva, on pain of banishment, were
+compelled to take an oath that they believed this statement. Of this
+proceeding Calvin very innocently remarked that it produced great
+satisfaction. A man named Caroli had the audacity to dispute with
+Calvin. For this outrage he was banished.
+
+
+
+
+332. Humboldt
+
+Humboldt breathed the atmosphere of investigation. Old ideas were
+abandoned; old creeds, hallowed by centuries, were thrown aside; thought
+became courageous; the athlete, Reason, challenged to mortal combat the
+monsters of superstition.
+
+
+
+
+333. Humbolt's Travels
+
+Europe becoming too small for his genius, he visited the tropics. He
+sailed along the gigantic Amazon--the mysterious Orinoco--traversed the
+Pampas--climbed the Andes until he stood upon the crags of Chimborazo,
+more than eighteen thousand feet above the level of the sea, and climbed
+on until blood flowed from his eyes and lips. For nearly five years he
+pursued his investigations in the new world, accompanied by the intrepid
+Bonplandi. Nothing escaped his attention. He was the best intellectual
+organ of these new revelations of science. He was calm, reflective and
+eloquent; filled with a sense of the beautiful, and the love of truth.
+His collections were immense, and valuable beyond calculation to every
+science. He endured innumerable hardships, braved countless dangers in
+unknown and savage lands, and exhausted his fortune for the advancement
+of true learning.
+
+
+
+
+334. Humboldt's Illustrious Companions
+
+Humboldt was the friend and companion of the greatest poets, historians,
+philologists, artists, statesmen, critics, and logicians of his time.
+He was the companion of Schiller, who believed that man would be
+regenerated through the influence of the Beautiful of Goethe, the grand
+patriarch of German literature; of Weiland, who has been called
+the Voltaire of Germany; of Herder, who wrote the outlines of a
+philosophical history of man; of Kotzebue, who lived in the world of
+romance; of Schleiermacher, the pantheist; of Schlegel, who gave to
+his countrymen the enchanted realm of Shakespeare; of the sublime Kant,
+author of the first work published in Germany on Pure Reason; of Fichte,
+the infinite idealist; of Schopenhauer, the European Buddhist who
+followed the great Gautama to the painless and dreamless Nirwana, and
+of hundreds of others, whose names are familiar to and honored by the
+scientific world.
+
+
+
+
+335. Humboldt the Apostle of Science
+
+Upon his return to Europe he was hailed as the second Columbus; as the
+scientific discover of America; as the revealer of a new world; as the
+great demonstrator of the sublime truth, that the universe is governed
+by law. I have seen a picture of the old man, sitting upon a mountain
+side--above him the eternal snow--below, the smiling valley of the
+tropics, filled with vine and palm; his chin upon his breast, his
+eyes deep, thoughtful and calm his forehead majestic--grander than the
+mountain upon which he sat--crowned with the snow of his whitened hair,
+he looked the intellectual autocrat of this world. Not satisfied with
+his discoveries in America, he crossed the steppes of Asia, the wastes
+of
+
+Siberia, the great Ural range adding to the knowledge of mankind at
+every step. H is energy acknowledged no obstacle, his life knew no
+leisure; every day was filled with labor and with thought. He was one
+of the apostles of science, and he served his divine master with
+a self-sacrificing zeal that knew no abatement; with an ardor that
+constantly increased, and with a devotion unwavering and constant as the
+polar star.
+
+
+
+
+336. Ingersoll Muses by Napoleon's Tomb
+
+A little while ago I stood by the grave of the old Napoleon--a
+magnificent tomb of gilt and gold, fit almost for a dead deity--and
+gazed upon the sarcophagus of black Egyptian marble, where rest at last
+the ashes of the restless man. I leaned over the balustrade and thought
+about the career of the greatest soldier of the modern world. I saw him
+walking upon the banks of the Seine, contemplating suicide--I saw him
+at Toulon--I saw him putting down the mob in the streets of Paris--I saw
+him at the head of the army of Italy--I saw him crossing the bridge of
+Lodi with the tri-color in his hand--I saw him in Egypt in the shadows
+of the pyramids--I saw him conquer the Alps and mingle the eagles of
+France with the eagles of the crags. I saw him at Marengo--at Ulm and
+Austerlitz. I saw him in Russia, where the infantry of the snow and the
+cavalry of the wild blast scattered his legions like Winter's withered
+leaves. I saw him at Leipsic in defeat and disaster--driven by a million
+bayonets back upon Paris--clutched like a wild beast--banished to Elba.
+I saw him escape and retake an empire by the force of his genius. I saw
+him upon the frightful field of Waterloo, where chance and fate combined
+to wreck the fortunes of their former king. And I saw him at St. Helena,
+with his hands crossed behind him, gazing out upon the sad and solemn
+sea. I thought of the orphans and widows he had made--of the tears that
+had been shed for his glory, and of the only woman who ever loved him,
+pushed from his heart by the cold hand of ambition. And I said I would
+rather have been a French peasant, and worn wooden shoes. I would rather
+have lived in a hut with a vine growing over the door, and the grapes
+growing purple in the kisses of the Autumn sun. I would rather have been
+that poor peasant with my loving wife by my side, knitting as the day
+died out of the sky--with my children upon my knees and their arms about
+me; I would rather have been that man and gone down to the tongueless
+silence of the dreamless dust, than to have been that imperial
+impersonation of force and murder known as Napoleon the Great. And so I
+would, ten thousand times.
+
+
+
+
+337. Eulogy on J. G. Blaine
+
+This is a grand year--a year filled with recollections of the
+Revolution; filled with the proud and tender memories of the past; with
+the sacred legends of liberty; a year in which the sons of freedom will
+drink from the fountains of enthusiasm; a year in which the people call
+for a man who has preserved in Congress what our soldiers won upon
+the field; a year in which they call for the man who has torn from the
+throat of treason the tongue of slander--for the man who has snatched
+the mask of Democracy from the hideous face of rebellion; for this man
+who, like an intellectual athlete, has stood in the arena of debate and
+challenged all comers, and who is still a total stranger to defeat. Like
+an armed warrior, like a plumed knight, James G. Blaine marched down the
+halls of the American Congress and threw his shining lance full and
+fair against the brazen foreheads of the defamers of his country and the
+maligners of her honor. For the Republican party to desert this gallant
+leader now is as though an army should desert their General upon the
+field of battle. James G. Blaine is now and has been for years the
+bearer of the sacred standard of the Republican party.
+
+
+
+
+338. A Model Leader
+
+The Republicans of the United States want a man who knows that this
+Government should protect every citizen, at home and abroad; who knows
+that any Government that will not defend its defenders and protect its
+protectors is a disgrace to the map of the world. They demand a man who
+believes in the eternal separation and divorcement of church and school.
+They demand a man whose political reputation is as spotless as a star;
+but they do not demand that their candidate shall have a certificate of
+moral character signed by a Confederate Congress. The man who has, in
+full, heaped and rounded measure, all these splendid qualifications is
+the present grand and gallant leader of the Republican party--James G.
+Blaine. Our country, crowned with the vast and marvelous achievements
+of its first century, asks for a man worthy of the past and prophetic
+of her future; asks for a man who has the audacity of genius; asks for
+a man who is the grandest combination of heart, conscience and brain
+beneath her flag. Such a man is James G. Blaine.
+
+
+
+
+339. Abraham Lincoln
+
+This world has not been fit to live in fifty years. There is no liberty
+in it--very little. Why, it is only a few years ago that all the
+Christian nations were engaged in the slave trade. It was not until 1808
+that England abolished the slave trade, and up to that time her priests
+in her churches and her judges on her benches owned stock in slave
+ships, and luxuriated on the profits of piracy and murder; and when a
+man stood up and denounced it they mobbed him as though he had been a
+common burglar or a horse thief. Think of it! It was not until the 28th
+day of August, 1833, that England abolished slavery in her colonies; and
+it was not until the 1st day of January, 1862, that Abraham Lincoln, by
+direction of the entire North, wiped that infamy out of this country;
+and I never speak of Abraham Lincoln but I want to say that he was, in
+my judgment, in many respects the grandest man ever President of the
+United States. I say that upon his tomb there ought to be this line--and
+I know of no other man deserving it so well as he: "Here lies one who
+having been clothed with almost absolute power never abused it except on
+the side of mercy."
+
+
+
+
+340. Swedenborg
+
+Swedenborg was a man of great intellect, of vast acquirements, and of
+honest intentions; and I think it equally clear that upon one subject,
+at least, his mind was touched, shattered and shaken. Misled by
+analogies, imposed upon by the bishop, deceived by the woman, borne to
+other worlds upon the wings of dreams, living in the twilight of reason
+and the dawn of insanity, he regarded every fact as a patched and ragged
+garment with a lining of the costliest silk, and insisted that the wrong
+side, even of the silk, was far more beautiful than the right.
+
+
+
+
+341. Jeremy Bentham
+
+The glory of Bentham is, that he gave the true basis of morals, and
+furnished the statesmen with the star and compass of this sentence: "The
+greatest happiness of the greatest number."
+
+
+
+
+342. Charles Fourier
+
+Fourier sustained about the same relation to this world that Swedenborg
+did to the other. There must be something wrong about the brain of one
+who solemnly asserts that "the elephant, the ox and the diamond were
+created by the Sun; the horse, the lily, and the ruby, by Saturn; the
+cow, the jonquil and the topaz, by Jupiter; and the dog, the violet
+and the opal stones by the earth itself." And yet, forgetting these
+aberrations of the mind, this lunacy of a great and loving soul, for
+one, that's in tender-est regard the memory of Charles Fourier, one of
+the best and noblest of our race.
+
+
+
+
+343. Auguste Comte
+
+There was in the brain of the great Frenchman--Auguste Comte--the dawn
+of that happy day in which humanity will be the only religion, good the
+only God, happiness the only object, restitution the only atonement,
+mistake the only sin, and affection guided by intelligence, the only
+savior of mankind. This dawn enriched his poverty, illuminated the
+darkness of his life, peopled his loneliness with the happy millions yet
+to be, and filled his eyes with proud and tender tears. When everything
+connected with Napoleon, except his crimes, shall be forgotten, Auguste
+Comte will be lovingly remembered as a benefactor of the human race.
+
+
+
+
+344. Herbert Spencer
+
+Herbert Spencer relies upon evidence, upon demonstration, upon
+experience; and occupies himself with one world at a time. He perceives
+that there is a mental horizon that we cannot pierce, and that beyond
+that is the unknown, possibly the unknowable. He endeavors to examine
+only that which is capable of being examined, and considers the
+theological method as not only useless, but hurtful. After all God is
+but a guess, throned and established by arrogance and assertion.
+Turning his attention to those things that have in some way affected
+the condition of mankind, Spencer leaves the unknowable to priests and
+believers.
+
+
+
+
+345. Robert Collyer
+
+I have the honor of a slight acquaintance with Robert Collyer. I have
+read with pleasure some of his exquisite productions. He has a brain
+full of the dawn, the head of a philosopher, the imagination of a poet
+and the sincere heart of a child. Had such men as Robert Collyer and
+John Stuart Mill been present at the burning of Servetus, they would
+have extinguished the flames with their tears. Had the presbytery of
+Chicago been there, they would have quietly turned their backs, solemnly
+divided their coat tails, and warmed themselves.
+
+
+
+
+346. John Milton
+
+England was filled with Puritan gloom and Episcopal ceremony. All
+religious conceptions were of the grossest nature. The ideas of crazy
+fanatics and extravagant poets were taken as sober facts. Milton had
+clothed Christianity in the soiled and faded finery of the gods--had
+added to the story of Christ the fables of Mythology, He gave to the
+Protestant Church the most outrageously material ideas of the Deity.
+He turned all the angels into soldiers--made heaven a battlefield, put
+Christ in uniform, and described God as a militia general. His works
+were considered by the Protestants nearly as sacred as the Bible
+itself, and the imagination of the people was thoroughly polluted by the
+horrible imagery, the sublime absurdity of the blind Milton.
+
+
+
+
+347. Ernst Haeckel
+
+Amongst the bravest, side by side with the greatest of the world in
+Germany, the land of science--stands Ernst Haeckel, who may be said
+not only to have demonstrated the theories of Darwin, but the monistic
+conception of the world. He has endeavored--and I think with complete
+success--to show that there is not, and never was, and never can be,
+the creator of anything. Haeckel is one of the bitterest enemies of the
+church, and is, therefore, one of the bravest friends of man.
+
+
+
+
+348. Professor Swing, a Dove amongst Vultures
+
+Professor Swing was too good a man to stay in the Presbyterian Church.
+He was a rose amongst thistles; he was a dove amongst vultures; and they
+hunted him out, and I am glad he came out. I have the greatest respect
+for Professor Swing, but I want him to tell whether the 109th Psalm is
+inspired.
+
+
+
+
+349. Queen Victoria and George Eliot
+
+Compare George Eliot with Queen Victoria. The Queen is clad in garments
+given her by blind fortune and unreasoning chance, while George Eliot
+wears robes of glory woven in the loom of her own genius. And so it is
+the world over. The time is coming when men will be rated at their real
+worth; when we shall care nothing for an officer if he does not fill his
+place.
+
+
+
+
+350. Bough on Rabbi Bien
+
+I will not answer Rabbi Bien, and I will tell you why. Because he has
+taken himself outside of all the limits of a gentleman; because he has
+taken upon himself to traduce American women in language the beastliest
+I ever read; and any man who says that the American women are not just
+as good women as any God can make, and pick his mind to-day, is an
+unappreciative barbarian. I will let him alone because he denounced all
+the men in this country, all the members of Congress, all the members
+of the Senate, all the Judges on the bench, as thieves and robbers. I
+pronounce him a vulgar falsifier, and let him alone.
+
+
+
+
+351. General Garfield
+
+No man has been nominated for the office since I was born, by either
+party, who had more brains and more heart than James A. Garfield. He
+was a soldier, he is a statesman. In time of peace he preferred the
+avocations of peace; when the bugle of war blew in his ears he withdrew
+from his work and fought for the flag, and then he went back to the
+avocation of peace. And I say to-day that a man who, in a time of
+profound peace, makes up his mind that he would like to kill folks for
+a living is no better, to say the least of it, than the man who loves
+peace in the time of peace, and who, when his country is attacked,
+rushes to the rescue of her flag.
+
+
+
+
+352. "Wealthy in Integrity; In Brain a Millionaire."
+
+James A. Garfield is to-day a poor man, and you know that there is not
+money enough in this magnificent street to buy the honor and manhood of
+James A. Garfield. Money cannot make such a man, and I will swear to you
+that money cannot buy him. James A. Garfield to-day wears the glorious
+robe of honest poverty. He is a poor man; but I like to say it here in
+Wall street; I like to say it surrounded by the millions of America; I
+like to say it in the midst of banks, and bonds, and stocks; I love to
+say it where gold is piled--that, although a poor man, he is rich in
+honor, in integrity he is wealthy, and in brain he is a millionaire.
+
+
+
+
+353. Garfield a Certificate of the Splendor of the American Constitution
+
+Garfield is a certificate of the splendor of our Government, that says
+to every poor boy: "All the avenues of honor are open to you." I
+know him and I like him. He is a scholar; he is a statesman; he was a
+soldier; he is a patriot; and above all he is a magnificent man, and if
+every man in New York knew him as well as I do, Garfield would not lose
+a hundred votes in this city.
+
+
+
+
+354. Dr. W. Hiram Thomas
+
+The best thing that has come from the other side is from Dr. Thomas. I
+regard him as by far the grandest intellect in the Methodist Church. He
+is intellectually a wide and tender man. I cannot conceive of an article
+being written in a better spirit. He finds a little fault with me for
+not being exactly fair. If there were more ministers like Dr. Thomas
+the probability is I never should have laid myself liable to criticism.
+There is some human nature in me, and I find it exceedingly difficult
+to preserve at all times perfect serenity. I have the greatest possible
+respect for Dr. Thomas, and must heartily thank him for his perfect
+fairness.
+
+
+
+
+MISCELLANEOUS
+
+
+
+
+355. Heresy and Orthodoxy
+
+It has always been the man ahead that has been called the heretic.
+Heresy is the last and best thought always! Heresy extends the
+hospitality of the brain to a new idea; that is what the rotting says to
+flax growing; that is what the dweller in the swamp says to the man on
+the sun-lit hill; that is what the man in the darkness cries out to the
+grand man upon whose forehead is shining the dawn of a grander day; that
+is what the coffin says to the cradle. Orthodoxy is a kind of shroud,
+and heresy is a banner--Orthodoxy is a fog and Heresy a star shining
+forever upon the cradle of truth. I do not mean simply in religion, I
+mean in everything and the idea I wish to impress upon you is that you
+should keep your minds open to all the influences of nature, you should
+keep your minds open to reason; hear what a man has to say, and do not
+let the turtle-shell of bigotry grow above your brain. Give everybody a
+chance and an opportunity; that is all.
+
+
+
+
+356. The Aristocracy that will Survive.
+
+We used to worship the golden calf, and the worst you can say of us now,
+is, we worship the gold of the calf, and even the calves are beginning
+to see this distinction. We used to go down on our knees to every man
+that held office, now he must fill it if he wishes any respect. We care
+nothing for the rich, except what will they do with their money? Do they
+benefit mankind? That is the question. You say this man holds an office.
+How does he fill it?--that is the question. And there is rapidly growing
+up in the world an aristocracy of heart and brain--the only aristocracy
+that has a right to exist.
+
+
+
+
+357. Truth will Bear the Test
+
+If a man has a diamond that has been examined by the lapidaries of the
+world, and some ignorant stonecutter told him that it is nothing but
+an ordinary rock, he laughs at him; but if it has not been examined
+by lapidaries, and he is a little suspicious himself that it is not
+genuine, it makes him mad. Any doctrine that will not bear investigation
+is not a fit tenant for the mind of an honest man. Any man who is afraid
+to have his doctrine investigated is not only a coward but a hypocrite.
+
+
+
+
+358. Paring Nails
+
+Why should we in this age of the world be dominated by the dead? Why
+should barbarian Jews who went down to death and dust three thousand
+years ago, control the living world? Why should we care for the
+superstition of men who began the sabbath by paring their nails,
+"beginning at the fourth finger, then going to the second, then to the
+fifth, then to the third, and ending with the thumb?" How pleasing to
+God this must have been.
+
+
+
+
+359. There may be a God
+
+There may be for aught I know, somewhere in the unknown shoreless vast,
+some being whose dreams are constellations and within whose thought the
+infinite exists. About this being, if such an one exists, I have nothing
+to say. He has written no books, inspired no barbarians, required no
+worship, and has prepared no hell in which to burn the honest seeker
+after truth.
+
+
+
+
+360. The People are Beginning to Think
+
+The people are beginning to think, to reason and to investigate. Slowly,
+painfully, but surely, the gods are being driven from the earth. Only
+upon rare occasions are they, even by the most religious, supposed to
+interfere in the affairs of men. In most matters we are at last supposed
+to be free. Since the invention of steamships and railways, so that the
+products of all countries can be easily interchanged, the gods have quit
+the business of producing famine.
+
+
+
+
+361. Unchained Thought
+
+For the vagaries of the clouds the infidels propose to substitute the
+realities of earth; for superstition, the splendid demonstrations and
+achievements of science; and for theological tyranny, the chainless
+liberty of thought.
+
+
+
+
+362. Man the Victor of the Future
+
+If abuses are destroyed, man must destroy them. If slaves are freed, man
+must free them. If new truths are discovered, man must discover them.
+If the naked are clothed; if the hungry are fed; if justice is done;
+if labor is rewarded; if superstition is driven from the mind; if the
+defenseless are protected, and if the right finally triumphs, all must
+be the work of man. The grand victories of the future must be won by
+man, and by man alone.
+
+
+
+
+363. The Sacred Sabbath
+
+Of all the superstitious of mankind, this insanity about the "sacred
+Sabbath" is the most absurd. The idea of feeling it a duty to be solemn
+and sad one-seventh of the time! To think that we can please an infinite
+being by staying in some dark and sombre room, instead of walking in the
+perfumed fields! Why should God hate to see a man happy? Why should it
+excite his wrath to see a family in the woods, by some babbling stream,
+talking, laughing and loving? Nature works on that "sacred" day. The
+earth turns, the rivers run, the trees grow, buds burst into flower, and
+birds fill the air with song. Why should we look sad, and think about
+death, and hear about-hell? Why should that day be filled with gloom
+instead of joy?
+
+
+
+
+364. Make the Sabbath Merry
+
+Freethinkers should make the Sabbath a day of mirth and music; a day to
+spend with wife and child--a day of games, and books, and dreams--a day
+to put fresh flowers above our sleeping dead--a day of memory and hope,
+of love and rest.
+
+
+
+
+365. Away to the Hills and the Sea
+
+A poor mechanic, working all the week in dust and noise, needs a day of
+rest and joy, a day to visit stream and wood--a day to live with wife
+and child; a day in which to laugh at care, and gather hope and strength
+for toils to come. And his weary wife needs a breath of sunny air, away
+from street and wall, amid the hills or by the margin of the sea, where
+she can sit and prattle with her babe, and fill with happy dreams the
+long, glad day.
+
+
+
+
+366. Melancholy Sundays
+
+When I was a little fellow most everybody thought that some days were
+too sacred for the young ones to enjoy themselves in. That was the
+general idea. Sunday used to commence Saturday night at sundown, under
+the old text, "The evening and the morning were the first day." They
+commenced then, I think, to get a good ready. When the sun went down
+Saturday night, darkness ten thousand times deeper than ordinary night
+fell upon that house. The boy that looked the sickest was regarded as
+the most pious. You could not crack hickory nuts that night, and if you
+were caught chewing gum it was another evidence of the total depravity
+of the human heart. It was a very solemn evening. We would sometimes
+sing, "Another day has passed." Everybody looked as though they had the
+dyspesia--you know lots of people think they are pious, just because
+they are bilious, as Mr. Hood says. It was a solemn night, and the next
+morning the solemnity had increased. Then we went to church, and the
+minister was in a pulpit about twenty feet high. If it was in the winter
+there was no fire; it was not thought proper to be comfortable while you
+were thanking the Lord. The minister commenced at firstly and ran up to
+about twenty-fourthly, and then he divided it up again; and then he
+made some concluding remarks, and then he said lastly, and when he said
+lastly he was about half through.
+
+
+
+
+367. Moses took Egyptian Law for his Model
+
+It has been contended for many years that the ten commandments are the
+foundation of all ideas of justice and of law. Eminent jurists have
+bowed to popular prejudice, and deformed their works by statements to
+the effect that the Mosaic laws are the fountains from which sprang all
+ideas of right and wrong. Nothing can be more stupidly false than such
+assertions. Thousands of years before Moses was born, the Egyptians
+had a code of laws. They had laws against blasphemy, murder, adultery,
+larceny, perjury, laws for the collection of debts, and the enforcement
+of contracts.
+
+
+
+
+368. A False Standard of Success
+
+It is not necessary to be rich, nor powerful, nor great, to be a
+success; and neither is it necessary to have your name between the
+putrid lips of rumor to be great. We have had a false standard of
+success. In the years when I was a little boy we read in our books that
+no fellow was a success that did not make a fortune or get a big office,
+and he generally was a man that slept about three hours a night. They
+never put down in the books the gentlemen who succeeded in life and yet
+slept all they wanted to. We have had a wrong standard.
+
+
+
+
+369. Toilers and Idlers
+
+You can divide mankind into two classes: the laborers and the idlers,
+the supporters and the supported, the honest and the dishonest. Every
+man is dishonest who lives upon the unpaid labor of others, no matter
+if he occupies a throne. All laborers should be brothers. The laborers
+should have equal-rights before the world and before the law. And I want
+every farmer to consider every man who labors either with hand or brain
+as his brother. Until genius and labor formed a partnership there was
+no such thing as prosperity among men. Every reaper and mower, every
+agricultural implement, has elevated the work of the farmer, and his
+vocation grows grander with every invention. In the olden time the
+agriculturist was ignorant; he knew nothing of machinery, he was the
+slave of superstition.
+
+
+
+
+370. The Sad Wilderness History
+
+While reading the Pentateuch, I am filled with indignation, pity and
+horror. Nothing can be sadder than the history of the starved and
+frightened wretches who wandered over the desolate crags and sands of
+wilderness and desert, the prey of famine, sword and plague. Ignorant
+and superstitious to the last degree, governed by falsehood, plundered
+by hypocrisy, they were the sport of priests, and the food of fear. God
+was their greatest enemy, and death their only friend.
+
+
+
+
+371. Law Much Older than Sinai
+
+Laws spring from the instinct of self-preservation. Industry objected
+to supporting idleness, and laws were made against theft. Laws were made
+against murder, because a very large majority of the people have always
+objected to being murdered. All fundamental laws were born simply of the
+instinct of self-defence. Long before the Jewish savages assembled at
+the foot of Sinai, laws had been made and enforced, not only in Egypt
+and India, but by every tribe that ever existed.
+
+
+
+
+372. Who is the Blasphemer?
+
+There was no pity in inspired war. God raised the black flag, and
+commanded his soldiers to kill even the smiling infant in its mother's
+arms. Who is the blasphemer; the man who denies the existence of God, or
+he who covers the robes of the infinite with innocent blood?
+
+
+
+
+373. Standing Tip for God
+
+We are told in the Pentateuch that God, the father of us all, gave
+thousands of maidens, after having killed their fathers, their mothers,
+and their brothers, to satisfy the brutal lusts of savage men. If there
+be a God, I pray him to write in his book, opposite my name, that I
+denied this lie for him.
+
+
+
+
+374. Matter and Force
+
+The statement in the beginning God created the heaven and the earth, I
+cannot accept. It is contrary to my reason, and I cannot believe it. It
+appears reasonable for me that force has existed from eternity. Force
+cannot, as it appears to me, exist apart from matter. Force, in its
+nature, is forever active, and without matter it could not act; and so
+I think matter must have existed forever. To conceive of matter without
+force, or of force without matter, or of a time when neither existed,
+or of a being who existed for an eternity without either, and who out of
+nothing created both, is to me utterly impossible.
+
+
+
+
+375. Haeckel before Moses!
+
+It may be that I am led to these conclusions by "total depravity," or
+that I lack the necessary humility of spirit to satisfactorily harmonize
+Haeckel and Moses; or that I am carried away by pride, blinded by
+reason, given over to hardness of heart that I might be damned, but I
+never can believe that the earth was covered with leaves, and buds, and
+flowers, and fruits, before the sun with glittering spear had driven
+back the hosts of night.
+
+
+
+
+376. How was it Done?
+
+We are told that God made man; and the question naturally arises, how
+was this done? Was it by a process of "evolution," "development;" the
+"transmission of acquired habits;" the "survival of the fittest," or was
+the necessary amount of clay kneaded to the proper consistency, and then
+by the hands of God moulded into form? Modern science tells that man has
+been evolved, through countless epochs, from the lower forms; that he
+is the result of almost an infinite number of actions, reactions,
+experiences, states, forms, wants and adaptations.
+
+
+
+
+377. General Joshua
+
+My own opinion is that General Joshua knew no more about the motions of
+the earth than he did mercy and justice. If he had known that the earth
+turned upon its axis at the rate of a thousand miles an hour, and swept
+in its course about the sun at the rate of sixty-eight thousand miles
+an hour, he would have doubled the hailstones, spoken of in the same
+chapter, that the Lord cast down from heaven, and allowed the sun and
+moon to rise and set in the usual way.
+
+
+
+
+378. Early Rising is Barbaric!
+
+This getting up so early in the morning is a relic of barbarism. It has
+made hundreds of thousands of young men curse business. There is no need
+of getting up at three or four o'clock in the winter morning. The farmer
+who persists in dragging his wife and children from their beds ought to
+be visited by a missionary. It is time enough to rise after the sun has
+set the example. For what purpose do you get up? To feed the cattle? Why
+not feed them more the night before? It is a waste of life. In the old
+times they used to get up about three o'clock in the morning, and go to
+work long before the sun had risen with "healing upon his wings," and as
+a just punishment they all had the ague; and they ought to have it now.
+
+
+
+
+379. Sleep is Medicine!
+
+You should not rob your families of sleep. Sleep is the best medicine
+in the world. There is no such thing as health, without plenty of sleep.
+Sleep until you are thoroughly rented and restored. When you work, work;
+and when you get through take a good, long and refreshing sleep.
+
+
+
+
+380. Never Rise at Four O'Clock
+
+The man who cannot get a living upon Illinois soil without rising before
+daylight ought to starve. Eight hours a day is enough for any farmer to
+work except in harvest time. When you rise at four and work till dark
+what is life worth? Of what use are all the improvements in farming?
+Of what use is all the improved machinery unless it tends to give the
+farmer a little more leisure? What is harvesting now, compared with what
+it was in the old time? Think of the days of reaping, of cradling, of
+raking and binding and mowing. Think of threshing with the flail and
+winnowing with the wind. And now think of the reapers and mowers, the
+binders and threshing machines, the plows and cultivators, upon which
+the farmer rides protected from the sun. If, with all these advantages,
+you cannot get a living without rising in the middle of the night, go
+into some other business.
+
+
+
+
+381. The Hermit is Mad
+
+A hermit is a mad man. Without friends and wife and child, there is
+nothing left worth living for. The unsocial are the enemies of joy. They
+are filled with egotism and envy, with vanity and hatred. People who
+live much alone become narrow and suspicious. They are apt to be the
+property of one idea. They begin to think there is no use in anything.
+They look upon the happiness of others as a kind of folly. They hate
+joyous folks, because, way down in their hearts, they envy them.
+
+
+
+
+382. Duke Orang-Outang
+
+I think we came from the lower animals. I am not dead sure of it, but
+think so. When I first read about it I didn't like it. My heart was
+filled with sympathy for those people who leave nothing to be proud of
+except ancestors. I thought how terrible this will be upon the nobility
+of the old world. Think of their being forced to trace their ancestry
+back to the Duke Orang-Outang or to the Princess Chimpanzee. After
+thinking it all over I came to the conclusion that I liked that
+doctrine. I became convinced in spite of myself. I read about
+rudimentary bones and muscles. I was told that everybody had rudimentary
+muscles extending from the ear into the cheek. I asked: "What are they?"
+I was told: "They are the remains of muscles; they became rudimentary
+from the lack of use." They went into bankruptcy. They are the muscles
+with which your ancestors used to flap their ears. Well, at first I was
+greatly astonished, and afterward I was more astonished to find they had
+become rudimentary.
+
+
+
+
+383. Self-Made Men
+
+It is often said of this or that man that he is a self-made man--that
+he was born of the poorest and humblest parents, and that with every
+obstacle to overcome he became great. This is a mistake. Poverty is
+generally an advantage. Most of the intellectual giants of the world
+have been nursed at the sad but loving breast of poverty. Most of those
+who have climbed highest on the shining ladder of fame commenced at the
+lowest round. They were reared in the straw thatched cottages of Europe;
+in the log houses of America; in the factories of the great cities; in
+the midst of toil; in the smoke and din of labor.
+
+
+
+
+384. The One Window in the Ark
+
+A cubit is twenty-two inches; so that the ark was five hundred and fifty
+feet long, ninety-one feet and eight inches wide, and fifty-five feet
+high. The ark was divided into three stories, and had on top, one window
+twenty-two inches square. Ventillation must have been one of Jehovah's
+hobbies. Think of a ship larger than the Great Eastern with only one
+window, and that but twenty-two inches square!
+
+
+
+
+385. No Ante-Diluvian Camp-Meetings!
+
+It is a little curious that when God wished to reform the ante-diluvian
+world he said nothing about hell; that he had no revivals, no
+camp-meetings, no tracts, no out-pourings of the Holy Ghost, no
+baptisms, no noon prayer meetings, and never mentioned the great
+doctrine of salvation by faith. If the orthodox creeds of the world are
+true, all those people went to hell without ever having heard that such
+a place existed. If eternal torment is a fact, surely these miserable
+wretches ought to have been warned. They were threatened only with water
+when they were in fact doomed to eternal fire!
+
+
+
+
+386. Hard Work in the Ark
+
+Eight persons did all the work. They attended to the wants of 175,000
+birds, 3,616 beasts, 1,300 reptiles, and 2,000,000 insects, saying
+nothing of countless animalculae.
+
+
+
+
+387. What did Moses know about the Sun?
+
+Can we believe that the inspired writer had any idea of the size of the
+sun? Draw a circle five inches in diameter, and by its side thrust a pin
+through the paper. The hole made by the pin will sustain about the same
+relation to the circle that the earth does to the sun. Did he know that
+the sun was eight hundred and sixty thousand miles in diameter; that it
+was enveloped in an ocean of fire thousands of miles in depth, hotter
+even than the Christian's hell? Did he know that the volume of the Earth
+is less than one-millionth of that of the sun? Did he know of the one
+hundred and four planets belonging to our solar system, all children of
+the sun? Did he know of Jupiter eighty-five thousand miles in diameter,
+hundreds of times as large as our earth, turning on his axis at the rate
+of twenty-five thousand miles an hour accompanied by four moons making
+the tour of his orbit once only in fifty years?
+
+
+
+
+388. Something for Nothing
+
+It is impossible for me to conceive of something being created for
+nothing. Nothing, regarded in the light of raw material, is a decided
+failure. I cannot conceive of matter apart from force. Neither is it
+possible to think of force disconnected with matter. You cannot imagine
+matter going back to absolute nothing. Neither can you imagine nothing
+being changed into something. You may be eternally damned if you do not
+say that you can conceive these things, but you cannot conceive them.
+Account but I cannot help it. In my judgment Moses was mistaken.
+
+
+
+
+389. Polygamy
+
+Polygamy is just as pure in Utah as it could have been in the promised
+land. Love and virtue are the same the whole world around, and justice
+is the same in every star. All the languages of the world are not
+sufficient to express the filth of polygamy. It makes of man a beast,
+of woman a trembling slave. It destroys the fireside, makes virtue an
+outcast, takes from human speech its sweetest words, and leaves the
+heart a den, where crawl and hiss the slimy serpents of most loathsome
+lust. Civilization rests upon the family. The good family is the unit
+of good government. The virtues grow about the holy hearth of home--they
+cluster, bloom, and shed their perfume round the fireside where the
+one man loves the one woman.
+
+Lover--husband--wife--mother--father--child--home!--without these sacred
+words the world is but a lair, and men and women merely beasts.
+
+
+
+
+390. The Colonel in the Kitchen--How to Cook a Beefsteak
+
+There ought to be a law making it a crime, punishable by imprisonment,
+to fry a beefsteak. Broil it; it is just as easy, and when broiled it
+is delicious. Fried beefsteak is not fit for a wild beast. You can broil
+even on a stove. Shut the front damper--open the back one, and then take
+off a griddle. There will then be a draft down through this opening. Put
+on your steak, using a wire broiler, and not a particle of smoke will
+touch it, for the reason that the smoke goes down. If you try to broil
+it with the front damper open the smoke will rise. For broiling, coal,
+even soft coal, makes a better fire than wood.
+
+
+
+
+391. Fresh Air
+
+Make your houses comfortable. Do not huddle together in a little room
+around a red-hot stove, with every window fastened down. Do not live in
+this poisoned atmosphere, and then, when one of your children dies, put
+a piece in the papers commencing with, "Whereas, it has pleased divine
+Providence to remove from our midst--." Have plenty of air, and plenty
+of warmth. Comfort is health. Do not imagine anything is unhealthy
+simply because it is pleasant. This is an old and foolish idea.
+
+
+
+
+392. Cooking a Fine Art
+
+Cooking is one of the fine arts. Give your wives and daughters things to
+cook, and things to cook with, and they will soon become most excellent
+cooks. Good cooking is the basis of civilization. The man whose arteries
+and veins are filled with rich blood made of good and well cooked food,
+has pluck, courage, endurance and noble impulses. Remember that your
+wife should have things to cook with.
+
+
+
+
+393. Scathing Impeachment of Intemperance
+
+Intemperance cuts down youth in its vigor, manhood in its strength, and
+age in its weakness. It breaks the father's heart, bereaves the doting
+mother, extinguishes natural affections, erases conjugal loves, blots
+out filial attachments, blights parental hope, and brings down mourning
+age in sorrow to the grave. It produces weakness, not strength;
+sickness, not health; death, not life. It makes wives widows; children
+orphans; fathers fiends, and all of them paupers and beggars. It feeds
+rheumatism, nurses gout, welcomes epidemics, invites cholera, imports
+pestilence and embraces consumption. It covers the land with idleness,
+misery and crime. It fills your jails, supplies your almshouses and
+demands your asylums. It engenders controversies, fosters quarrels, and
+cherishes riots. It crowds your penitentiaries and furnishes victims to
+your scaffolds. It is the life blood of the gambler, the element of
+the burglar, the prop of the highwayman and the support of the midnight
+incendiary. It countenances the liar, respects the thief, esteems
+the blasphemer. It violates obligations, reverences fraud, and honors
+infamy. It defames benevolence, hates love, scorns virtue and slanders
+innocence. It incites the father to butcher his helpless offspring,
+helps the husband to massacre his wife, and the child to grind the
+parricidal ax. It burns up men, consumes women, detests life, curses God,
+and despises heaven. It suborns witnesses, nurses perjury, defiles
+the jury box, and stains the judicial ermine. It degrades the citizen,
+debases the legislator, dishonors statesmen, and disarms the patriot. It
+brings shame, not honor; terror, not safety; despair, not hope; misery,
+not happiness; and with the malevolence of a fiend, it calmly surveys
+its frightful desolation, and unsatisfied with its havoc, it poisons
+felicity, kills peace, ruins morals, blights confidence, slays
+reputation, and wipes out national honors, then curses the world and
+laughs at its ruin.
+
+
+
+
+394. Liberty Defined
+
+The French convention gave the best definition of liberty I have ever
+read: "The liberty of one citizen ceases only where the liberty of
+another citizen commences." I know of no better definition. I ask you
+to-day to make a declaration of individual independence. And if you are
+independent, be just. Allow everybody else to make his declaration of
+individual independence. Allow your wife, allow your husband, allow
+your children to make theirs. It is a grand thing to be the owner of
+yourself. It is a grand thing to protect the rights of others. It is a
+sublime thing to be free and just.
+
+
+
+
+395. Free, Honest Thought
+
+I am going to say what little I can to make the American people brave
+enough and generous enough and kind enough to give everybody else the
+rights they have themselves. Can there ever be any progress in this
+world to amount to anything until we have liberty? The thoughts of a man
+who is not free are not worth much--not much. A man who thinks with the
+club of a creed above his head--a man who thinks casting his eye askance
+at the flames of hell, is not apt to have very good thoughts. And for
+my part, I would not care to have any status or social position even in
+heaven if I had to admit that I never would have been there only I got
+scared. When we are frightened we do not think very well. If you want to
+get at the honest thoughts of a man he must free. If he is not free you
+will not get his honest thought.
+
+
+
+
+396. Ingersoll Prefers Shoemakers to Princes
+
+The other day there came shoemakers, potters, workers in wood and iron,
+from Europe, and they were received in the city of New York as though
+they had been princes. They had been sent by the great republic of
+France to examine into the arts and manufactures of the great republic
+of America. They looked a thousand times better to me than the Edward
+Alberts and Albert Edwards--the royal vermin, that live on the body
+politic. And I would think much more of our government if it would fete
+and feast them, instead of wining and dining the imbeciles of a royal
+line.
+
+
+
+
+397. Sham Dignity
+
+I hate dignity. I never saw a dignified man that was not after all an
+old idiot Dignity is a mask; a dignified man is afraid that you will
+know he does not know everything. A man of sense and argument is always
+willing to admit what he don't know--why?--because there is so much
+that he does know; and that is the first step towards learning
+anything--willingness to admit what you don't know, and when you don't
+understand a thing, ask--no matter how small and silly it may look to
+other people--ask, and after that you know. A man never is in a state of
+mind that he can learn until he gets that dignified nonsense out of him.
+
+
+
+
+398. A Good Time Coming!
+
+The time is coming when a man will be rated at his real worth, and that
+by his brain and heart. We care nothing now about an officer unless he
+fills his place. The time will come when no matter how much money a man
+has he will not be respected unless he is using it for the benefit of
+his fellow-men. It will soon be here.
+
+
+
+
+399. Who is the True Nobleman?
+
+We are a great people. Three millions have increased to fifty--thirteen
+States to thirty-eight. We have better homes, and more of the
+conveniences of life than any other people upon the face of the globe.
+The farmers of our country live better than did the kings and princes
+two hundred years ago--and they have twice as much sense and heart.
+Liberty and labor have given us all. Remember that all men have equal
+rights. Remember that the man who acts best his part--who loves
+his friends the best--is most willing to help others--truest to the
+obligation--who has the best heart--the most feeling--the deepest
+sympathies--and who freely gives to others the rights that he claims for
+himself, is the true nobleman. We have disfranchised the aristocrats of
+the air and have given one country to mankind.
+
+
+
+
+400. Wanted!--More Manliness
+
+I had a thousand times rather have a farm and be independent, than to be
+President of the United States, without independence, filled with
+doubt and trembling, feeling of the popular pulse, resorting to art and
+artifice, inquiring about the wind of opinion, and succeeding at last in
+losing my self-respect without gaining the respect of others. Man needs
+more manliness, more real independence. We must take care of
+ourselves. This we can do by labor, and in this way we can preserve our
+independence. We should try and choose that business or profession the
+pursuit of which will give us the most happiness. Happiness is wealth.
+We can be happy without being rich--without holding office--without
+being famous. I am not sure that we can be happy with wealth, with
+office, or with fame.
+
+
+
+
+401. Education of Nature
+
+It has been a favorite idea with me that our forefathers were educated
+by nature; that they grew grand as the continent upon which they landed;
+that the great rivers--the wide plains--the splendid lakes--the lonely
+forests--the sublime mountains--that all these things stole into and
+became a part of their being, and they grew great as the country in
+which they lived. They began to hate the narrow, contracted views of
+Europe. They were educated by their surroundings.
+
+
+
+
+402. The Worker Wearing the Purple
+
+I want to see a workingman have a good house, painted white, grass in
+the front yard, carpets on the floor and pictures on the wall. I want to
+see him a man feeling that he is a king by the divine right of living in
+the Republic. And every man here is just a little bit a king, you know.
+Every man here is a part of the sovereign power. Every man wears a
+little of purple; every man has a little of crown and a little of
+sceptre; and every man that will sell his vote for money or be ruled by
+prejudice is unfit to be an American citizen.
+
+
+
+
+403. Flowers
+
+Beautify your grounds with plants and flowers and vines. Have good
+gardens. Remember that everything of beauty tends to the elevation of
+man. Every little morning-glory whose purple bosom is thrilled with the
+amorous kisses of the sun tends to put a blossom in your heart. Do not
+judge of the value of everything by the market reports. Every flower
+about a house certifies to the refinement of somebody. Every vine,
+climbing and blossoming, tells of love and joy.
+
+
+
+
+404. Be Happy--Here and Now!
+
+The grave is not a throne, and a corpse is not a king. The living have
+a right to control this world. I think a good deal more of to day than
+I do of yesterday, and I think more of to-morrow than I do of this day;
+because it is nearly gone--that is the way I feel. The time to be happy
+is now; the way to be happy is to make somebody else happy and the place
+to be happy is here.
+
+
+
+
+405. The School House a Fort
+
+Education is the most radical thing in the world.
+
+To teach the alphabet is to inaugurate a revolution. To build a school
+house is to construct a fort. A library is an arsenal.
+
+
+
+
+406. We are Getting Free
+
+We are getting free. We are thinking in every direction. We are
+investigating with the microscope and the telescope. We are digging
+into the earth and finding souvenirs of all the ages. We are finding out
+something about the laws of health and disease. We are adding years to
+the span of human life and we are making the world fit to live in.
+That is what we are doing, and every man that has an honest thought and
+expresses it helps, and every man that tries to keep honest thought from
+being expressed is an obstruction and a hindrance.
+
+
+
+
+407. The Solid Rock
+
+I have made up my mind that if there is a God He will be merciful to the
+merciful. Upon that rock I stand. That He will forgive the forgiving;
+upon that rock I stand. That every man should be true to himself, and
+that there is no world, no star, in which honesty is a crime; and upon
+that rock I stand. An honest man, a good, kind, sweet woman, or a happy
+child, has nothing to fear, neither in this world nor the world to come;
+and upon that rock I stand.
+
+
+
+
+INGERSOLL'S FIVE GOSPELS
+
+
+
+
+408. The Gospel of Cheerfulness
+
+I believe in the gospel of cheerfulness; the gospel of good nature; in
+the gospel of good health. Let us pay some attention to our bodies; take
+care of our bodies, and our souls will take care of themselves. Good
+health! I believe the time will come when the public thought will be so
+great and grand that it will be looked upon as infamous to perpetuate
+disease. I believe the time will come when men will not fill the future
+with consumption and with insanity. I believe the time will come when
+with studying ourselves and understanding the laws of health, we will
+say we are under obligations to put the flags of health in the cheeks of
+our children. Even if I got to Heaven, and had a harp, I would hate to
+look back upon my children and see them diseased, deformed, crazed, all
+suffering the penalty of crimes that I had committed.
+
+
+
+
+409. The Gospel of Liberty
+
+And I believe, too, in the gospel of liberty,---of giving to others what
+we claim. And I believe there is room everywhere for thought, and
+the more liberty you give away the more you will have. In liberty
+extravagance is economy. Let us be just, let us be generous to each
+other.
+
+
+
+
+410. The Gospel of 'Good Living
+
+I believe in the gospel of good living. You cannot make any God happy by
+fasting. Let us have good food, and let us have it well cooked; it is
+a thousand times better to know how to cook it than it is to understand
+any theology in the world. I believe in the gospel of good clothes. I
+believe in the gospel of good houses; in the gospel of water and soap.
+
+
+
+
+411. The Gospel of Intelligence
+
+I believe in the gospel of intelligence. That is the only lever capable
+of raising mankind. I believe in the gospel of intelligence; in the
+gospel of education. The school-house is my cathedral; the universe
+is my Bible. Intelligence must rule triumphant. Humanity is the grand
+religion. And no God can put a man into hell in another world who has
+made a little heaven in this. God cannot make miserable a man who has
+made somebody else happy. God can not hate anybody who is capable of
+loving his neighbor. So I believe in this great gospel of generosity.
+Ah, but they say it won't do. You must believe. I say no. My gospel
+of health will prolong life; my gospel of intelligence, my gospel of
+loving, my gospel of good-fellowship will cover the world with happy
+homes. My doctrine will put carpets upon your floors, pictures upon your
+walls. My doctrine will put books upon your shelves, ideas in your mind.
+My doctrine will relieve the world of the abnormal monsters born of the
+ignorance of superstition. My doctrine will give us health, wealth, and
+happiness. That is what I want. That is what I believe in.
+
+
+
+
+412. The Gospel of Justice
+
+I believe in the gospel of justice,--that we must reap what we sow. I do
+not believe in forgiveness. If I rob Mr. Smith, and God forgive me,
+how does that help Smith? If I by slander cover some poor girl with
+the leprosy of some imputed crime, and she withers away like a blighted
+flower, and afterwards I get forgiveness, how does that help her? If
+there is another world, we have got to settle; no bankruptcy court
+there. Pay down. Among the ancient Jews if you committed a crime you
+had to kill a sheep; now they say, "Charge it. Put it on the slate." It
+won't do. For every crime you commit you must answer to yourself and
+to the one you injure. And if you have ever clothed another with
+unhappiness as with a garment cf pain, you will never be quite as
+happy as though you hadn't done that thing. No forgiveness, eternal,
+inexorable, everlasting justice--that is what I believe in.
+
+And if it goes hard with me, I will stand it. And I will stick to my
+logic, and I will bear it like a man.
+
+
+
+
+GEMS FROM THE CONTROVERSIAL GASKET
+
+     Latest Utterances of Colonel Robert G. Ingersoll,
+     in a Controversy with Judge Jere 8. Black,
+     on "The Christian Religion"
+
+
+
+
+413. The Origin of the Controversy
+
+Several months ago, _The North American Review_ asked me to write an
+article, saying that it would be published if some one would furnish a
+reply. I wrote the article that appeared in the August number, and by
+me it was entitled "Is All of the Bible Inspired?" Not until the
+article was written did I know who was expected to answer. I make this
+explanation for the purpose of dissipating the impression that Mr. Black
+had been challenged by me. To have struck his shield with my lance might
+have given birth to the impression that I was somewhat doubtful as to
+the correctness of my position. I naturally expected an answer from some
+professional theologian, and was surprised to find that a reply had been
+written by a "policeman," who imagined that he had answered my arguments
+by simply telling me that my statements were false. It is somewhat
+unfortunate that in a discussion like this any one should resort to the
+slightest personal detraction. The theme is great enough to engage the
+highest faculties of the human mind, and in the investigation of such a
+subject vituperation is singularly and vulgarly out of place. Arguments
+cannot be answered with insults. It is unfortunate that the intellectual
+arena should be entered by a "policeman," who has more confidence in
+concussion than discussion. Kindness is strength. Good nature is often
+mistaken for virtue, and good health sometimes passes for genius.
+Anger blows out the lamp of the mind. In the examination of a great and
+important question, every one should be serene, slow-pulsed, and calm.
+Intelligence is not the foundation of arrogance. Insolence is not logic.
+Epithets are the arguments of malice. Candor is the courage of the soul.
+Leaving the objectionable portion of Mr. Black's reply, feeling that so
+grand a subject should not be blown and tainted with malicious words, I
+proceed to answer as best I may the arguments he has urged.
+
+
+
+
+414. What is Christianity?
+
+Of course it is still claimed that we are a Christian people, indebted
+to something we call Christianity, for all the progress we have made.
+There is still a vast difference of opinion as to what Christianity
+really is, although many wavering sects have been discussing that
+question, with fire and sword through centuries of creed and crime.
+Every new sect has been denounced at its birth as illegitimate, as
+something born out of orthodox wedlock, and that should have been
+allowed to perish on the steps where it was found.
+
+
+
+
+415. Summary of Evangelical Belief
+
+Among the evangelical churches there is a substantial agreement
+upon what they consider the fundamental truths of the gospel. These
+fundamental truths, as I understand them, are:--That there is a personal
+God, the creator of the material universe; that he made man of the dust,
+and woman from part of the man; that the man and woman were tempted by
+the devil; that they were turned out of the garden of Eden; that, about
+fifteen hundred years afterward, God's patience having been exhausted by
+the wickedness of mankind, He drowned His children, with the exception
+of eight persons; that afterward He selected from their descendants
+Abraham, and through him the Jewish people; that He gave laws to these
+people, and tried to govern them in all things; that He made known His
+will in many ways; that He wrought a vast number of miracles; that
+He inspired men to write the Bible; that, in the fullness of time, it
+having been found impossible to reform mankind, this God came upon earth
+as a child born of the Virgin Mary; that He lived in Palestine; that He
+preached for about three years, going from place to place, occasionally
+raising the dead, curing the blind and the halt; that He was
+crucified--for the crime of blasphemy, as the Jews supposed, but, that
+as a matter of fact, He was offered as a sacrifice for the sins of
+all who might have faith in Him; that He was raised from the dead and
+ascended into heaven, where He now is, making intercession for His
+followers; that He will forgive the sins of all who believe on Him,
+and that those who do not believe will be consigned to the dungeons of
+eternal pain. These--(it may be with the addition of the sacraments of
+Baptism and the Last Supper)--constitute what is generally known as the
+Christian religion.
+
+
+
+
+416. A Profound Change in the World of Thought
+
+A profound change has taken place in the world of thought. The pews are
+trying to set themselves somewhat above the pulpit. The layman discusses
+theology with the minister, and smiles. Christians excuse themselves
+for belonging to the church by denying a part of the creed. The idea
+is abroad that they who know the most of nature believe the least about
+theology. The sciences are regarded as infidels, and facts as scoffers.
+Thousands of most excellent people avoid churches, and, with few
+exceptions, only those attend prayer meetings who wish to be alone. The
+pulpit is losing because the people are rising.
+
+
+
+
+417. The Believer in the Inspiration of the Bible has too Much to Believe
+
+But the believer in the inspiration of the Bible is compelled to declare
+that there was a time when slavery was right--when men could buy and
+women sell their babes. He is compelled to insist that there was a time
+when polygamy was the highest form of virtue; when wars of extermination
+were waged with the sword of mercy; when religious toleration was a
+crime, and when death was the just penalty for having expressed an
+honest thought. He must maintain that Jehovah is just as bad now as he
+was four thousand years ago, or that he was just as good then as he is
+now, but that human conditions have so changed that slavery, polygamy,
+religious persecutions and wars of conquest are now perfectly devilish.
+Once they were right--once they were commanded by God himself; now, they
+are prohibited. There has been such a change in the conditions of man
+that, at the present time, the devil is in favor of slavery, polygamy,
+religious persecution and wars of conquest. That is to say, the devil
+entertains the same opinion to-day that Jehovah held four thousand
+years ago, but in the meantime Jehovah has remained exactly the
+same--changeless and incapable of change.
+
+
+
+
+418. A Frank Admission
+
+It is most cheerfully admitted that a vast number of people not only
+believe these things, but hold them in exceeding reverence, and imagine
+them to be of the utmost importance to mankind. They regard the Bible as
+the only light that God has given for the guidance of His children; that
+it is the one star in nature's sky--the foundation of all morality, of
+all law, of all order, and of all individual and national progress. They
+regard it as the only means we have for ascertaining the will of God,
+the origin of man, and the destiny of the soul. In my opinion they were
+mistaken. The mistake has hindered in countless ways the civilization of
+man.
+
+
+
+
+419. The Bible Should be Better than any other Book
+
+In all ages of which any record has been preserved, there have been
+those who gave their ideas of justice, charity, liberty, love, and
+law. Now, if the Bible is really the work of God, it should contain the
+grandest and sublimest truths. It should, in all respects, excel the
+works of man. Within that book should be found the best and loftiest
+definitions of justice; the truest conceptions of human liberty; the
+clearest outlines of duty; the tenderest, the highest, and the noblest
+thoughts,--not that the human mind has produced, but that the human mind
+is capable of receiving. Upon every page should be found the luminous
+evidence of its divine origin. Unless it contains grander and more
+wonderful things than man has written, we are not only justified in
+saying, but we are compelled to say, that it was written by no being
+superior to man.
+
+
+
+
+420. A Serious Charge
+
+The Bible has been the fortress and the defense of nearly every crime.
+No civilized country could re-enact its laws. And in many respects its
+moral code is abhorrent to every good and tender man. It is admitted,
+however, that many of its precepts are pure, that many of its laws are
+wise and just, and that many of its statements are absolutely true.
+
+
+
+
+421. If the Bible is Not Verbally Inspired, What Then?
+
+It may be said that it is unfair to call attention to certain bad things
+in the Bible, while the good are not so much as mentioned. To this it
+may be replied that a divine being would not put bad things in a book.
+Certainly a being of infinite intelligence, power, and goodness could
+never fall below the ideal of "depraved and barbarous" man. It will not
+do, after we find that the Bible upholds what we now call crimes, to say
+that it is not verbally inspired. If the words are not inspired, what
+is? It may be said that the thoughts are inspired. But this would
+include only the thoughts expressed without words. If the ideas are
+inspired, they must be contained in and expressed only by inspired
+words; that is to say, the arrangement of the words, with relation to
+each other, must have been inspired.
+
+
+
+
+422. A Hindu Example
+
+Suppose that we should now discover a Hindu book of equal antiquity with
+the Old Testament, containing a defense of slavery, polygamy, wars of
+extermination, and religious persecution, would we regard it as evidence
+that the writers were inspired by an infinitely wise and merciful God?
+
+
+
+
+423. A Test Fairly Applied
+
+Suppose we knew that after "inspired" men had finished the Bible, the
+devil had got possession of it and wrote a few passages, what part of
+the sacred Scriptures would Christians now pick out as being probably
+his work? Which of the following passages would naturally be selected
+as having been written by the devil--"Love thy neighbor as thyself," or
+"Kill all the males among the little ones, and kill every woman; but all
+the women children keep alive for yourselves?"
+
+
+
+
+424. Suppose!
+
+It will hardly be claimed at this day, that the passages in the
+Bible upholding slavery, polygamy, war, and religious persecution are
+evidences of the inspiration of that book. Suppose that there had been
+nothing in the Old Testament upholding these crimes would any modern
+Christian suspect that it was not inspired on account of that omission?
+Suppose that there had been nothing in the Old Testament but laws in
+favor of these crimes, would any intelligent Christian now contend that
+it was the work of the true God?
+
+
+
+
+425. Proofs of Civilization
+
+We know that there was a time in the history of almost every nation when
+slavery, polygamy, and wars of extermination were regarded as divine
+institutions; when women were looked upon as beasts of burden, and when,
+among some people, it was considered the duty of the husband to murder
+the wife for differing with him on the subject of religion. Nations that
+entertain these views to-day are regarded as savage, and, probably, with
+the exception of the South Sea islanders, the Feejees, some citizens
+of Delaware, and a few tribes in Central Africa, no human beings can be
+found degraded enough to agree upon these subjects with the Jehovah of
+the ancient Jews. The only evidence we have, or can have, that a
+nation has ceased to be savage is the fact that it has abandoned these
+doctrines. To every one, except the theologian, it is perfectly easy to
+account for the mistakes, atrocities, and crimes of the past, by
+saying that civilization is a slow and painful growth; that the moral
+perceptions are cultivated through ages of tyranny, of want, of crime,
+and of heroism; that it requires centuries for man to put out the eyes
+of self and hold in lofty and in equal poise the scales of justice;
+that conscience is born of suffering; that mercy is the child of the
+imagination--of the power to put oneself in the sufferers place, and
+that man advances only as he becomes acquainted with his surroundings,
+with the mutual obligations of life, and learns to take advantage of the
+forces of nature.
+
+
+
+
+426. A Persian Gospel
+
+Do not misunderstand me. My position is that the cruel passages in
+the Old Testament are not inspired; that slavery, polygamy, wars of
+extermination, and religious persecution always have been, are, and
+forever will be, abhorred and cursed by the honest, virtuous, and the
+loving; that the innocent cannot justly suffer for the guilty, and that
+vicarious vice and vicarious virtue are equally absurd; that eternal
+punishment is eternal revenge; that only the natural can happen; that
+miracles prove the dishonesty of the few and the credulity of the many;
+and that, according to Matthew, Mark, and Luke, salvation does not
+depend upon belief, nor the atonement, nor a "second birth," but that
+these gospels are in exact harmony with the declaration of the great
+Persian: "Taking the first footstep with the good thought, the second
+with the good word, and the third with the good deed, I entered
+paradise." The dogmas of the past no longer reach the level of the
+highest thought, nor satisfy the hunger of the heart. While dusty
+faiths, embalmed and sepulchered in ancient texts, remain the same,
+the sympathies of men enlarge; the brain no longer kills its young; the
+happy lips give liberty to honest thoughts; the mental firmament expands
+and lifts; the broken clouds drift by; the hideous dreams, the foul,
+misshapen children of the monstrous night, dissolve and fade.
+
+
+
+
+427. Man the Author of all Books
+
+So far as we know, man is the author of all books. If a book had been
+found on the earth by the first man, he might have regarded it as the
+work of God; but as men were here a good while before any books were
+found, and as man has produced a great many books, the probability is
+that the Bible is no exception.
+
+
+
+
+428. God and Brahma
+
+Can we believe that God ever said of any: "Let his children be
+fatherless and his wife a widow; let his children be continually
+vagabonds, and beg; let them seek their bread also out of their desolate
+places; let the extortioner catch all that he hath and let the stranger
+spoil his labor, let there be none to extend mercy unto him, neither let
+there be any to favor his fatherless children." If he ever said these
+words, surely he had never heard this line, this strain of music, from
+the Hindu: "Sweet is the lute to those who have not heard the prattle of
+their own children." Jehovah, "from the clouds and darkness of Sinai,"
+said to the Jews: "Thou shalt have no other gods before me.... Thou
+shalt not bow down thyself to them nor serve them; for I, the Lord thy
+God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquities of the fathers upon the
+children, unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me."
+Contrast this with the words put by the Hindu in the mouth of Brahma:
+"I am the same to all mankind. They who honestly serve other gods,
+involuntarily worship me. I am he who partaketh of all worship, and I
+am the reward of all worshipers." Compare these passages. The first, a
+dungeon where crawl the things begot of jealous slime; the other, great
+as the domed firmament inlaid with suns.
+
+
+
+
+429. Matthew, Mark, and Luke
+
+And I here take occasion to say, that with most of the teachings of the
+gospels of Matthew, Mark, and Luke I most heartily agree. The miraculous
+parts must, of course, be thrown aside. I admit that the necessity of
+belief, the atonement, and the scheme of salvation are all set forth
+in the Gospel of John,--a gospel, in my opinion, not written until long
+after the others.
+
+
+
+
+430. Christianity Takes no Step in Advance
+
+All the languages of the world have not words of horror enough to
+paint the agonies of man when the church had power. Tiberius, Caligula,
+Claudius, Nero, Domitian, and Commodus were not as cruel, false,
+and base as many of the Christian Popes. Opposite the names of these
+imperial criminals write John the XII., Leo the VIII., Boniface the VII.,
+Benedict the IX., Innocent the III., and Alexander the VI. Was it under
+these pontiffs that the "church penetrated the moral darkness like a
+new sun," and covered the globe with institutions of mercy? Rome was far
+better when Pagan than when Catholic. It was better to allow gladiators
+and criminals to fight than to burn honest men. The greatest of Romans
+denounced the cruelties of the arena. Seneca condemned the combats even
+of wild beasts. He was tender enough to say that "we should have a bond
+of sympathy for all sentiment beings, knowing that only the depraved
+and base take pleasure in the sight of blood and suffering." Aurelius
+compelled the gladiators to fight with blunted swords. Roman lawyers
+declared that all men are by nature free and equal. Woman, under Pagan
+rule in Rome, become as free as man. Zeno, long before the birth of
+Christ, taught that virtue alone establishes a difference between men.
+We know that the Civil Law is the foundation of our codes. We know that
+fragments of Greek and Roman art--a few manuscripts saved from Christian
+destruction, some inventions and discoveries of the Moors--were the
+seeds of modern civilization. Christianity, for a thousand years,
+taught memory to forget and reason to believe. Not one step was taken in
+advance. Over the manuscripts of philosophers and poets, priests, with
+their ignorant tongues thrust out, devoutly scrawled the forgeries of
+faith.
+
+
+
+
+431. Christianity a Mixture of Good and Evil
+
+Mr. Black attributes to me the following expression: "Christianity is
+pernicious in its moral effect, darkens the mind, narrows the soul,
+arrests the progress of human society, and hinders civilization." I said
+no such thing. Strange, that he is only able to answer what I did
+not say. I endeavored to show that the passages in the Old Testament
+upholding slavery, polygamy, wars of extermination, and religious
+intolerance had filled the world with blood and crime. I admitted
+that there are many wise and good things in the Old Testament. I also
+insisted that the doctrine of the atonement--that is to say, of moral
+bankruptcy--the idea that a certain belief is necessary to salvation,
+and the frightful dogma of eternal pain, had narrowed the soul, had
+darkened the mind, and had arrested the progress of human society. Like
+other religions, Christianity is a mixture of good and evil. The church
+has made more orphans than it has fed. It has never built asylums enough
+to hold the insane of its own making. It has shed more blood than light.
+
+
+
+
+432. Jehovah, Epictetus and Cicero
+
+If the Bible is really inspired, Jehovah commanded the Jewish people to
+buy the children of the strangers that sojourned among them, and ordered
+that the children thus bought should be an inheritance for the children
+of the Jews, and that they should be bondmen and bondwomen forever. Yet
+Epictetus, a man to whom no revelation was ever made, a man whose soul
+followed only the light of nature, and who had never heard of the Jewish
+God, was great enough to say: "Will you not remember that your servants
+are by nature your brothers, the children of God? In saying that you
+have bought them, you look down on the earth and into the pit, on the
+wretched law of men long since dead,--but you see not the laws of the
+Gods." We find that Jehovah, speaking to his chosen people, assured them
+that their bondmen and bondmaids must be "of the heathen that were
+round about them." "Of them," said Jehovah, "shall ye buy bondmen
+and bondmaids." And yet Cicero, a pagan, Cicero, who had never been
+enlightened by reading the Old Testament, had the moral grandeur to
+declare: "They who say that we should love our fellow-citizens, but not
+foreigners, destroy the universal brotherhood of mankind, with which
+benevolence and justice would perish forever."
+
+
+
+
+433. The Atonement
+
+In countless ways the Christian world has endeavored, for nearly two
+thousand years, to explain the atonement, and every effort has ended in
+an an mission that it cannot be understood, and a declaration that it
+must be believed. Is it not immoral to teach that man can sin, that he
+can harden his heart and pollute his soul, and that, by repenting
+and believing something that he does not comprehend, he can avoid the
+consequences of his crimes? Has the promise and hope of forgiveness ever
+prevented the commission of a sin? Should men be taught that sin gives
+happiness here; that they ought to bear the evils of a virtuous life in
+this world for the sake of joy in the next; that they can repent between
+the last sin and the last breath; that after repentance every stain
+of the soul is washed away by the innocent blood of another; that the
+serpent of regret will not hiss in the ear of memory; that the saved
+will not even pity the victims of their own crimes; that the goodness
+of another can be transferred to them; and that sins forgiven cease to
+affect the unhappy wretches sinned against?
+
+
+
+
+434. Sin as a Debt
+
+The Church says that the sinner is in debt to God, and that the
+obligation is discharged by the Saviour. The best that can possibly be
+said of such a transaction is, that the debt is transferred, not paid.
+The truth is, that a sinner is in debt to the person he has injured.
+If a man injures his neighbor, it is not enough for him to get the
+forgiveness of God, but he must have the forgiveness of his neighbor.
+If a man puts his hand in the fire and God forgives him, his hand will
+smart exactly the same. You must, after all, reap what you sow. No god
+can give you wheat when you sow tares, and no devil can give you tares
+when you sow wheat.
+
+
+
+
+435. The Logic of the Coffin
+
+As to the doctrine of the atonement, Mr. Black has nothing to offer
+except the barren statement that it is believed by the wisest and the
+best. A Mohammedan, speaking in Constantinople, will say the same of the
+Koran. A Brahman, in a Hindu temple, will make the same remark, and so
+will the American Indian, when he endeavors to enforce something upon
+the young of his tribe. He will say: "The best, the greatest of our
+tribe have believed in this." This is the argument of the cemetery, the
+philosophy of epitaphs, the logic of the coffin. We are the greatest and
+wisest and most virtuous of mankind? This statement, that it has been
+believed by the best, is made in connection with an admission that it
+cannot be fathomed by the wisest. It is not claimed that a thing is
+necessarily false because it is not understood, but I do claim that
+it is not necessarily true because it cannot be comprehended. I still
+insist that "the plan of redemption," as usually preached, is absurd,
+unjust, and immoral.
+
+
+
+
+436. Judas Iscariot
+
+For nearly two thousand years Judas Iscariot has been execrated by
+mankind; and yet, if the doctrine of the atonement is true, upon his
+treachery hung the plan of salvation. Suppose Judas had known of this
+plan--known that he was selected by Christ for that very purpose, that
+Christ was depending on him. And suppose that he also knew that only
+by betraying Christ could he save either himself or others; what ought
+Judas to have done? Are you willing to rely upon an argument that
+justifies the treachery of that wretch?
+
+
+
+
+437. The Standard of Right
+
+According to Mr. Black, the man who does not believe in a supreme being
+acknowledges no standard of right and wrong in this world, and therefore
+can have no theory of rewards and punishments in the next. Is it
+possible that only those who believe in the God who persecuted for
+opinion's sake have any standard of right and wrong? Were the greatest
+men of all antiquity without this standard? In the eyes of intelligent
+men of Greece and Rome, were all deeds, whether good or evil, morally
+alike? Is it necessary to believe in the existence of an infinite
+intelligence before you can have any standard of right and wrong? Is it
+possible that a being cannot be just or virtuous unless he believes in
+some being infinitely superior to himself? If this doctrine be true, how
+can God be just or virtuous? Does He believe in some being superior to
+himself?
+
+
+
+
+438. What is Conscience?
+
+What is conscience? If man were incapable of suffering, if man could not
+feel pain, the word "conscience" never would have passed his lips. The
+man who puts himself in the place of another, whose imagination has been
+cultivated to the point of feeling the agonies suffered by another, is
+the man of conscience.
+
+
+
+
+439. No Right to Think!
+
+Mr. Black says, "We have neither jurisdiction or capacity to rejudge
+the justice of God." In other words, we have no right to think upon
+this subject, no right to examine the questions most vitally affecting
+human-kind. We are simply to accept the ignorant statements of barbarian
+dead. This question cannot be settled by saying that "it would be a
+mere waste of time and space to enumerate the proofs which show that the
+universe was created by a pre-existent and self-conscious being." The
+time and space should have been "wasted," and the proofs should have
+been enumerated. These "proofs" are what the wisest and greatest are
+trying to find. Logic is not satisfied with assertion. It cares nothing
+for the opinions of the "great," nothing for the prejudices of the many,
+and least of all, for the superstitions of the dead. In the world of
+science--a fact is a legal tender. Assertions and miracles are base and
+spurious coins. We have the right to rejudge the justice even of a god.
+No one should throw away his reason--the fruit of all experience. It is
+the intellectual capital of the soul, the only light, the only guide,
+and without it the brain becomes the palace of an idiot king, attended
+by a retinue of thieves and hypocrites.
+
+
+
+
+440. The Liberty of the Bible
+
+This is the religious liberty of the Bible. If you had lived in
+Palestine, and if the wife of your bosom, dearer to you than your
+own soul, had said: "I like the religion of India better than that of
+Palestine," it would have been your duty to kill her. "Your eye must not
+pity her, your hand must be first upon her, and afterwards the hand of
+all the people." If she had said: "Let us worship the sun--the sun that
+clothes the earth in garments of green--the sun, the great fireside of
+the world--the sun that covers the hills and valleys with flowers--that
+gave me your face, and made it possible for me to look into the eyes
+of my babe,--let us worship the sun," it was your duty to kill her. You
+must throw the first stone, and when against her bosom--a bosom filled
+with love for you--you had thrown the jagged and cruel rock, and had
+seen the red stream of her life oozing from the dumb lips of death,
+you could then look up and receive the congratulations of the God whose
+commandment you had obeyed. Is it possible that a being of infinite
+mercy ordered a husband to kill his wife for the crime of having
+expressed, an opinion on the subject of religion? Has there been found
+upon the records of the savage world anything more perfectly fiendish
+than this commandment of Jehovah? This is justified on the ground that
+"blasphemy was a breach of political allegiance, and idolatry an act of
+overt treason." We can understand how a human king stands in need of the
+service of his people. We can understand how the desertion of any of
+his soldiers weakens his army; but were the king infinite in power,
+his strength would still remain the same, and under no conceivable
+circumstances could the enemy triumph.
+
+
+
+
+441. Slavery in Heaven
+
+According to Mr. Black, there will be slavery in Heaven, and fast by
+the throne of God will be the auction-block, and the streets of the New
+Jerusalem will be adorned with the whipping-post, while the music of
+the harp will be supplemented by the crack of the driver's whip. If some
+good Republican would catch Mr. Black, "incorporate him into his family,
+tame him, teach him to think, and give him a knowledge of the true
+principles of human liberty and government, he would confer upon him a
+most beneficent boon." Mr. Black is too late with his protest against
+the freedom of his fellow-men. Liberty is making the tour of the world.
+Russia has emancipated her serfs; the slave trade is prosecuted only
+by thieves and pirates; Spain feels upon her cheek the burning blush
+of shame; Brazil, with proud and happy eyes, is looking for the dawn of
+freedom's day; the people of the South rejoice that slavery is no more,
+and every good and honest man (excepting Mr. Black) of every land and
+clime hopes that the limbs of men will never feel again the weary weight
+of chains.
+
+
+
+
+442. Jehovah Breaking His Own Laws
+
+A very curious thing about these Commandments is that their supposed
+author violated nearly every one. From Sinai, according to the account,
+He said: "Thou shalt not kill," and yet He ordered the murder of
+millions; "Thou shalt not commit adultery," and He gave captured maidens
+to gratify the lust of captors; "Thou shalt not steal," and yet He gave
+to Jewish marauders the flocks and herds of others; "Thou shalt not
+covet thy neighbor's house, nor his wife," and yet He allowed His chosen
+people to destroy the homes of neighbors and to steal their wives;
+"Honor thy father and mother," and yet this same God had thousands of
+fathers butchered, and with the sword of war killed children yet unborn;
+"Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor," and yet
+He sent abroad "lying spirits" to deceive His own prophets, and in a
+hundred ways paid tribute to deceit. So far as we know, Jehovah kept
+only one of these Commandments--He worshiped no other god.
+
+
+
+
+443. Who Designed the Designer?
+
+I know as little as anyone else about the "pla" of the universe; and as
+to the "design," I know just as little. It will not do to say that the
+universe was designed, and therefore there must be a designer. There
+must first be proof that it was "designed." It will not do to say that
+the universe has a "plan," and then assert that there must have been an
+infinite maker. The idea that a design must have a beginning, and that a
+designer need not, is a simple expression of human ignorance. We find
+a watch, and we say: "So curious and wonderful a thing must have had a
+maker." We find the watchmaker, and we say: "So curious and wonderful a
+thing as man must have had a maker." We find God and we then say: "He is
+so wonderful that he must _not_ have had a maker." In other words, all
+things a little wonderful must have been created, but it is possible for
+something to be so wonderful that it always existed. One would suppose
+that just as the wonder increased the necessity for a creator increased,
+because it is the wonder of the thing that suggests the idea of
+creation. Is it possible that a designer exists from all eternity
+without design? Was there no design in having an infinite designer? For
+me, it is hard to see the plan or design in earthquakes and pestilences.
+It is somewhat difficult to discern the design or the benevolence in so
+making the world that billions of animals live only on the agonies of
+others. The justice of God is not visible to me in the history of this
+world. When I think of the suffering and death, of the poverty and
+crime, of the cruelty and malice, of the heartlessness of this "design"
+and "plan," where beak and claw and tooth tear and rend the quivering
+flesh of weakness and despair, I cannot convince myself that it is the
+result of infinite wisdom, benevolence, and justice.
+
+
+
+
+444. What we Know of the Infinite
+
+Of course, upon a question like this, nothing can be absolutely known.
+We live on an atom called Earth, and what we know of the infinite is
+almost infinitely limited; but, little as we know, all have an equal
+right to give their honest thought. Life is a shadowy, strange,
+and winding road on which we travel for a little way--a few short
+steps--just from the cradle, with its lullaby of love, to the low and
+quiet wayside inn, where all at last must sleep, and where the only
+salutation is--Good-night.
+
+
+
+
+445. The Universe Self-Existent
+
+The universe, according to my idea, is, always was, and forever will
+be. It did not "come into being;" it is the one eternal being--the only
+thing that ever did, does, or can exist. It did not "make its own laws."
+We know nothing of what we call the laws of Nature except as we gather
+the idea of law from the uniformity of phenomena springing from like
+conditions. To make myself clear: Water always runs down hill. The
+theist says that this happens because there is behind the phenomenon an
+active law. As a matter of fact law is this side of the phenomenon. Law
+does not cause the phenomenon, but the phenomenon causes the idea of law
+in our minds, and this idea is produced from the fact that under like
+circumstances the same phenomena always happens. Mr. Black probably
+thinks that the difference in the weight of rocks and clouds was created
+by law; that parallel lines fail to imite only because it is illegal;
+that diameter and circumference could have been so made that it would
+be a greater distance across than around a circle, that a straight line
+could inclose a triangle if not prevented by law, and that a little
+legislation could make it possible for two bodies to occupy the same
+space at the same time. It seems to me that law can not be the cause of
+phenomena, but it is an effect produced in our minds by their succession
+and resemblance. To put a God back of the universe compels us to admit
+that there was a time when nothing existed except this God; that this
+God had lived from eternity in an infinite vacuum and in an absolute
+idleness. The mind of every thoughtful man is forced to one of these two
+conclusions, either that the universe is self-existent or that it
+was created by a self-existent being. To my mied there are far more
+difficulties in the second hypothesis than in the first.
+
+
+
+
+446. Jehovah's Promise Broken
+
+If Jehovah was in fact God, He knew the end from the beginning. He knew
+that his Bible would be a breastwork behind which tyranny and hypocrisy
+would crouch; that it would be quoted by tyrants; that it would be the
+defense of robbers called kings and of hypocrites called priests. He
+knew that He had taught the Jewish people but little of importance. He
+knew that He found them free and left them captives. He knew that He
+had never fulfilled the promises made to them. He knew that while other
+nations had advanced in art and science his chosen people were savage
+still. He promised them the world, and gave them a desert. He promised
+them liberty, and He made them slaves. He promised them victory, and He
+gave them defeat. He said they should be kings, and He made them
+serfs. He promised them universal empire, and gave them exile. When one
+finishes the Old Testament, he is compelled to say: Nothing can add to
+the misery of a nation whose King is Jehovah!
+
+
+
+
+447. Character Bather than Creed
+
+For a thousand years the torch of progress was extinguished in the blood
+of Christ, and His disciples, moved by ignorant zeal, by insane, cruel
+creeds, destroyed with flame and sword a hundred millions of their
+fellow-men. They made this world a hell. But if cathedrals had been
+universities--if dungeons of the Inquisition had been laboratories--if
+Christians had believed in character instead of creed--if they had taken
+from the Bible all the good and thrown away the wicked and absurd--if
+domes of temples had been observatories--if priests had been
+philosophers--if missionaries had taught the useful arts--if astrology
+had been astronomy--if the black art had been chemistry--if superstition
+had been science--if religion had been humanity--it would have been a
+heaven filled with love, with liberty, and joy.
+
+
+
+
+448. Mohammed the Prophet of God
+
+Mohammed was a poor man, a driver of camels. He was without education,
+without influence, and without wealth, and yet in a few years he
+consolidated thousands of tribes, and millions of men confess that there
+is "one God, and Mohammed is his prophet." His success was a thousand
+times greater during his life than that of Christ. He was not crucified;
+he was a conqueror. "Of all men, he exercised the greatest influence
+upon the human race." Never in the world's history did a religion
+spread with the rapidity of his. It burst like a storm over the fairest
+portions of the globe. If Mr. Black is right in his position that
+rapidity is secured only by the direct aid of the Divine Being,
+then Mohammed was most certainly the prophet of God. As to wars of
+extermination and slavery, Mohammed agreed with Mr. Black, and upon
+polygamy with Jehovah. As to religious toleration, he was great enough
+to say that "men holding to any form of faith might be saved, provided
+they were virtuous." In this he was far in advance both of Jehovah and
+Mr. Black.
+
+
+
+
+449. Wanted!--A Little More Legislation
+
+We are informed by Mr. Black that "polygamy is neither commanded or
+prohibited in the Old Testament--that it is only discouraged." It seems
+to me that a little legislation on that subject might have tended to its
+"discouragement." But where is the legislation? In the moral code, which
+Mr. Black assures us "consists of certain immutable rules to govern the
+conduct of all men at all times and at all places in their private and
+personal relations with others," not one word is found on the subject of
+polygamy. There is nothing "discouraging" in the Ten Commandments, nor
+in the records of any conversation Jehovah is claimed to have had with
+Moses upon Sinai. The life of Abraham, the story of Jacob and Laban,
+the duty of a brother to be the husband of the widow of his deceased
+brother, the life of David, taken in connection with the practice of
+one who is claimed to have been the wisest of men--all these things are
+probably relied on to show that polygamy was at least "discouraged."
+Certainly Jehovah had time to instruct Moses as to the infamy of
+polygamy. He could have spared a few moments from a description of
+patterns of tongs and basins for a subject so important as this. A
+few-words in favor of the one wife and one husband--in favor of the
+virtuous and loving home--might have taken the place of instructions
+as to cutting the garments of priests and fashioning candlesticks and
+ounces of gold. If he had left out simply the order that rams' skins
+should be dyed red, and in its place had said, "A man shall have but one
+wife, and the wife but one husband," how much better it would have been.
+
+
+
+
+450. Is all that Succeeds Inspired?
+
+Again, it is urged that "the acceptance of Christianity by a large
+portion of the generation contemporary with its Founder and His
+Apostles, was under the circumstances, an adjudication as solemn and
+authoritative as mortal intelligence could pronounce." If this is true,
+then "the acceptance of Buddhism by a large portion of the generation
+contemporary with its Founder was an adjudication as solemn and
+authoritative as mortal intelligence could pronounce." The same could
+be said of Mohammedanism, and, in fact, of every religion that has
+ever benefited or cursed this world. This argument, when reduced to its
+simplest form, is this: All that succeeds is inspired.
+
+
+
+
+451. The Morality in Christianity
+
+The morality in Christianity has never opposed the freedom of thought.
+It has never put, nor tended to put, a chain on a human mind, nor a
+manacle on a human limb; but the doctrines distinctively Christian--the
+necessity of believing a certain thing; the idea that eternal punishment
+awaited him who failed to believe; the idea that the innocent can suffer
+for the guilty--these things have |opposed, and for a thousand years
+substantially destroyed the freedom of the human mind. All religions
+have, with ceremony, magic, and mystery, deformed, darkened, and
+corrupted, the soul. Around the sturdy oaks of morality have grown and
+clung the parasitic, poisonous vines of the miraculous and monstrous.
+
+
+
+
+452. Miracle Mongers
+
+St. Irenaeus assures us that all Christians possessed the power of
+working miracles; that they prophesied, cast out devils, healed the
+sick, and even raised the dead. St. Epiphanius asserts that some rivers
+and fountains were annually transmuted into wine, in attestation of the
+miracle of Cana, adding that he himself had drunk of these fountains.
+St. Augustine declares that one was told in a dream where the bones of
+St. Stephen were buried and the bones were thus discovered and brought
+to Hippo, and that they raised five dead persons to life, and that in
+two years seventy miracles were performed with these relics. Justin
+Martyr states that God once sent some angels to guard the human race,
+that these angels fell in love with the daughters of men, and became the
+fathers of innumerable devils. For hundreds of years miracles were
+about the only things that happened. They were wrought by thousands of
+Christians, and testified to by millions. The saints and martyrs, the
+best and greatest, were the witnesses and workers of wonders. Even
+heretics, with the assistance of the devil, could suspend the "laws
+of nature." Must we believe these wonderful accounts because they were
+written by "good men," by Christians," who made their statements in the
+presence and expectation of death"? The truth is that these "good men"
+were mistaken. They expected the miraculous. They breathed the air of
+the marvelous. They fed their minds on prodigies, and their imaginations
+feasted on effects without causes. They were incapable of investigating.
+Doubts were regarded as "rude disturbers of the congregation." Credulity
+and sanctity walked hand in hand. Reason was danger. Belief was safety.
+As the philosophy of the ancients was rendered almost worthless by the
+credulity of the common people, so the proverbs of Christ, his religion
+of forgiveness, his creed of kindness, were lost in the mist of miracle
+and the darkness of superstition.
+
+
+
+
+453. The Honor Due to Christ
+
+For the man Christ--for the reformer who loved his fellow-men--for the
+man who believed in an Infinite Father, who would shield the innocent
+and protect the just--for the martyr who expected to be rescued from the
+cruel cross, and who at last, finding that his rope was dust, cried out
+in the gathering gloom of death; "My God! My God! Why hast thou forsaken
+me?"--for that great and suffering man, mistaken though he was, I have
+the highest admiration and respect. That man did not, as I believe,
+claim a miraculous origin; he did not pretend to heal the sick nor raise
+the dead. He claimed simply to be a man, and taught his fellow-men
+that love is stronger far than hate. His life was written by reverent
+ignorance. Loving credulity belittled his career with feats of jugglery
+and magic art, and priests wishing to persecute and slay, put in his
+mouth the words of hatred and revenge. The theological Christ is the
+impossible union of the human and divine--man with the attributes of
+God, and God with the limitations and weakness of man.
+
+
+
+
+454. Christianity has no Monopoly in Morals
+
+The morality of the world is not distinctively Christian. Zoroaster,
+Gautama, Mohammed, Confucius, Christ, and, in fact, all founders of
+religions, have said to their disciples: You must not steal; You must
+not murder; You must not bear false witness; You must discharge your
+obligations. Christianity is the ordinary moral code, _plus_ the
+miraculous origin of Jesus Christ, his crucifixion, his resurrection,
+his ascension, the inspiration of the Bible, the doctrine of the
+atonement, and the necessity of belief. Buddhism is the ordinary moral
+code, _plus_ the miraculous illumination of Buddha, the performance of
+certain ceremonies, a belief in the transmigration of the soul, and
+in the final absorption of the human by the infinite. The religion of
+Mohammed is the ordinary moral code, _plus_ the belief that Mohammed
+was the prophet of God, total abstinence from the use of intoxicating
+drinks, a harem for the faithful here and hereafter, ablutions, prayers,
+alms, pilgrimages, and fasts.
+
+
+
+
+455. Old Age in Superstition's Lap
+
+And here I take occasion to thank Mr. Black for having admitted that
+Jehovah gave no commandment against the practice of polygamy, that he
+established slavery, waged wars of extermination, and persecuted for
+opinions' sake even unto death, Most theologians endeavor to putty,
+patch, and paint the wretched record of inspired crime, but Mr. Black
+has been bold enough and honest enough to admit the truth. In this age
+of fact and demonstration it is refreshing to find a man who believes
+so thoroughly in the monstrous and miraculous, the impossible and
+immoral--who still clings lovingly to the legends of the bib and
+rattle--who through the bitter experiences of a wicked world has kept
+the credulity of the cradle, and finds comfort and joy in thinking about
+the Garden of Eden, the subtile serpent, the flood, and Babel's tower,
+stopped by the jargon of a thousand tongues--who reads with happy eyes
+the story of the burning brimstone storm that fell upon the cities
+of the plain, and smilingly explains the transformation of the
+retrospective Mrs. Lot--who laughs at Egypt's plagues and Pharaoh's
+whelmed and drowning hosts--eats manna with the wandering Jews, warms
+himself at the burning bush, sees Korah's company by the hungry earth
+devoured, claps his wrinkled hands with glee above the heathens'
+butchered babes, and longingly looks back to the patriarchal days of
+concubines and slaves. How touching when the learned and wise crawl back
+in cribs and ask to hear the rhymes and fables once again! How charming
+in these hard and scientific times to see old age in Superstition's lap,
+with eager lips upon her withered breast!
+
+
+
+
+456. Ararat in Chicago
+
+A little while ago, in the city of Chicago, a gentleman addressed a
+number of Sunday-school children. In his address he stated that some
+people were wicked enough to deny the story of the deluge; that he was
+a traveler; that he had been to the top of Mount Ararat, and had brought
+with him a stone from that sacred locality. The children were then
+invited to form in procession and walk by the pulpit, for the purpose of
+seeing this wonderful stone. After they had looked at it, the lecturer
+said: "Now, children, if you ever hear anybody deny the story of the
+deluge, or say that the ark did not rest on Mount Ararat, you can tell
+them that you know better, because you have seen with your own eyes a
+stone from that very mountain."
+
+
+
+
+457. How Gods and Devils are Made
+
+It was supposed that God demanded worship; that he loved to be
+flattered; that he delighted in sacrifice; that nothing made him happier
+than to see ignorant faith upon its knees; that above all things he
+hated and despised doubters and heretics, and regarded investigation as
+rebellion. Each community felt it a duty to see that the enemies of God
+were converted or killed. To allow a heretic to live in peace was
+to invite the wrath of God. Every public evil--every misfortune--was
+accounted for by something the community had permitted or done. When
+epidemics appeared, brought by ignorance and welcomed by filth, the
+heretic was brought out and sacrificed to appease the anger of God.
+By putting intention behind what man called good, God was produced. By
+putting intention behind what man called bad, the Devil was created.
+Leave this "intention" out, and gods and devils fade away. If not a
+human being existed, the sun would continue to shine, and tempest now
+and then would devastate the earth; the rain would fall in pleasant
+showers; violets would spread their velvet bosoms to the sun, the
+earthquake would devour, birds would sing, and daisies bloom, and
+roses blush, and volcanoes fill the heavens with their lurid glare; the
+procession of the seasons would not be broken, and the stars would shine
+as serenely as though the world were filled with loving hearts and happy
+homes.
+
+
+
+
+458. The Romance of Figures
+
+How long, according to the universal benevolence of the New Testament,
+can a man be reasonably punished in the next world for failing to
+believe something unreasonable in this? Can it be possible that any
+punishment can endure forever? Suppose that every flake of snow that
+ever fell was a figure nine, and that the first flake was multiplied by
+the second, and that product by the third, and so on to the last flake.
+And then suppose that this total should be multiplied by every drop of
+rain that ever fell, calling each drop a figure nine; and that total by
+each blade of grass that ever helped to weave a carpet for the earth,
+calling each blade a figure nine; and that again by every grain of sand
+on every shore, so that the grand total would make a line of nines so
+long that it would require millions upon millions of years for light,
+traveling at the rate of one hundred and eighty-five thousand miles per
+second, to reach the end. And suppose, further, that each unit in this
+almost infinite total, stood for billions of ages--still that vast and
+almost endless time, measured by all the years beyond, is as one flake,
+one drop, one leaf, one blade, one grain, compared with all the flakes,
+and drops, and leaves, and blades and grains. Upon love's breast the
+Church has placed the eternal asp. And yet, in the same book in which is
+taught this most infamous of doctrines, we are assured that "The Lord is
+good to all, and his tender mercies are over all his works."
+
+
+
+
+459. God and Zeno
+
+If the Bible is inspired, Jehovah, God of all worlds, actually said:
+"And if a man smite his servant or his maid with a rod, and he die under
+his hand, he shall be surely punished; notwithstanding, if he continue
+a day or two, he shall not be punished, for he is his money." And yet
+Zeno, founder of the Stoics, centuries before Christ was born, insisted
+that no man could be the owner of another, and that the title was bad,
+whether the slave had become so by conquest, or by purchase. Jehovah,
+ordered a Jewish general to make war, and gave, among others, this
+command: "When the Lord thy God shall drive them before thee, thou shalt
+smite them and utterly destroy them." And yet Epictetus, whom we have
+already quoted, gave this marvelous rule for the guidance of human
+conduct: "Live with thy inferiors as thou wouldst have thy superiors
+live with thee."
+
+
+
+
+460. Why was Christ so Silent?
+
+If Christ was in fact God, he knew all the future. Before him, like a
+panorama, moved the history yet to be. He knew exactly how his words
+would be interpreted. He knew what crimes, what horrors, what infamies,
+would be committed in his name. He knew that the fires of persecution
+would climb around the limbs of countless martyrs. He knew that brave
+men would languish in dungeons, in darkness, filled with pain; that the
+church would use instruments of torture, that his followers would appeal
+to whip and chain. He must have seen the horizon of the future red with
+the flames of the _auto da fe_. He knew all the creeds that would spring
+like poison fungi from every text. He saw the sects waging war against
+each other. He saw thousands of men, under the orders of priests,
+building dungeons for their fellow-men. He saw them using instruments
+of pain. He heard the groans, saw the faces white with agony, the tears,
+the blood--heard the shrieks and sobs of all the moaning, martyred
+multitudes. He knew that commentaries would be written on his words with
+swords, to be read by the light of fagots. He knew that the Inquisition
+would be born of teachings attributed to him. He saw all the
+interpolations and falsehoods that hypocrisy would write and tell. He
+knew that above these fields of death, these dungeons, these burnings,
+for a thousand years would float the dripping banner of the cross. He
+knew that in his name his followers would trade in human flesh, that
+cradles would be robbed and women's breasts unbabed for gold;--and yet
+he died with voiceless lips. Why did he fail to speak? Why did he not
+tell his disciples, and through them the world, that man should not
+persecute, for opinion's sake, his fellow-man? Why did he not cry, You
+shall not persecute in my name; you shall not burn and torment those who
+differ from you in creed? Why did he not plainly say, I am the Son of
+God? Why did he not explain the doctrine of the trinity? Why did he not
+tell the manner of baptism that was pleasing to him? Why did he not say
+something positive, definite, and satisfactory about another world? Why
+did he not turn the tear-stained hope of heaven to the glad knowledge
+of another life? Why did he go dumbly to his death, leaving the world to
+misery and to doubt?
+
+
+
+
+461. The Philosophy of Action
+
+Consequences determine the quality of an action. If consequences are
+good, so is the action. If actions had no consequences, they would be
+neither good nor bad. Man did not get his knowledge of the consequences
+of actions from God, but from experience and reason. If man can, by
+actual experiment, discover the right and wrong of actions, is it not
+utterly illogical to declare that they who do not believe in God can
+have no standard of right and wrong? Consequences are the standard by
+which actions are judged. They are the children that testify as to the
+real character of their parents. God or no God, larceny is the enemy of
+industry--industry is the mother of prosperity--prosperity is a good,
+and therefore larceny is an evil. God or no God, murder is a crime.
+There has always been a law against larceny, because the laborer wishes
+to enjoy the fruit of his toil. As long as men object to being killed,
+murder will be illegal.
+
+
+
+
+462. Infinite Punishment for Finite Crimes.
+
+I have insisted, and I still insist, that it is still impossible for
+a finite man to commit a crime deserving infinite punishment; and upon
+this subject Mr. Black admits that "no revelation has lifted the veil
+between time and eternity;" and, consequently, neither the priest nor
+the "policeman" knows anything with certainty regarding another world.
+He simply insists that "in shadowy figures we are warned that a very
+marked distinction will be made between the good and bad in the next
+world." There is "a very marked distinction" in this; but there is this
+rainbow in the darkest human cloud: The worst have hope of reform. All I
+insist is, if there is another life, the basest soul that finds its way
+to that dark or radiant shore will have the everlasting chance of
+doing right. Nothing but the most cruel ignorance, the most heartless
+superstition, the most ignorant theology, ever imagined that the
+few days of human life spent here, surrounded by mists and clouds of
+darkness, blown over life's sea by storms and tempests of passion, fixed
+for all eternity the condition of the human race. If this doctrine be
+true, this life is but a net, in which Jehovah catches souls for hell.
+
+
+
+
+463. Whence Came the Gospels?
+
+We are told that "there is no good reason to doubt that the statements
+of the Evangelists, as we have them now, are genuine." The fact is, no
+one knows who made the "statements of the Evangelists." There are three
+important manuscripts upon which the Christian world relies. "The first
+appeared in the catalogue of the Vatican, in 1475. This contains the
+Old Testament. Of the New, it contains the four gospels,--the Acts, the
+seven Catholic Epistles, nine of the Pauline Epistles, and the
+Epistle to the Hebrews, so far as the fourteenth verse of the ninth
+chapter,"--and nothing more. This is known as the Codex Vatican. "The
+second, the Alexandrine, was presented to King Charles the First, in
+1628. It contains the Old and New Testaments, with some exceptions;
+passages are wanting in Matthew, in John, and in II. Corinthians. It
+also contains the Epistle of Clemens Romanus, a letter of Athanasius,
+and the treatise of Eusebius on the Psalms." The last is the Sinaitic
+Codex, discovered about 1850, at the Convent of St. Catherine's, on
+Mount Sinai. "It contains the Old and New Testaments, and in addition
+the entire Epistle of Barnabas, and a portion of the Shepherd of
+Hennas--two books which, up to the beginning of the fourth century, were
+looked upon by many as Scripture." In this manuscript, or codex, the
+gospel of St. Mark concludes with the eighth verse of the sixteenth
+chapter, leaving out the frightful passage: "Go ye into all the world,
+and preach the gospel to every creature. He that believeth and is
+baptized shall be saved; but he that believeth not shall be damned." In
+matters of the utmost importance these manuscripts disagree, but even if
+they all agreed it would not furnish the slightest evidence of their
+truth. It will not do to call the statements made in the gospels
+"depositions," until it is absolutely established who made them, and the
+circumstances under which they were made. Neither can we say that "they
+were made in the immediate prospect of death," until we know who made
+them. It is absurd to say that "the witnesses could not have been
+mistaken, because the nature of the facts precluded the possibility of
+any delusion about them." Can it be pretended that the witnesses could
+not have been mistaken about the relation the Holy Ghost is alleged to
+have sustained to Jesus Christ? Is there no possibility of delusion
+about a circumstance of that kind? Did the writers of the four gospels
+have "the sensible and true avouch of their own eyes and ears" in that
+behalf? How was it possible for any one of the four Evangelists to know
+that Christ was the Son of God, or that he was God? His mother wrote
+nothing on the subject. Matthew says that an angel of the Lord told
+Joseph in a dream, but Joseph never wrote an account of this wonderful
+vision. Luke tells us that the angel had a conversation with Mary, and
+that Mary told Elizabeth, but Elizabeth never wrote a word. There is no
+account of Mary, or Joseph, or Elizabeth, or the angel, having had any
+conversation with Matthew, Mark, Luke, or John, in which one word was
+said about the miraculous origin of Jesus Christ. The persons who knew
+did not write, so that the account is nothing but hearsay. Does Mr.
+Black pretend that such statements would be admitted as evidence in any
+court? But how do we know that the disciples of Christ wrote a word of
+the gospels? How did it happen that Christ wrote nothing? How do we know
+that the writers of the gospels "were men of unimpeachable character?"
+
+
+
+
+464. Mr. Black's Admission
+
+For the purpose of defending the character of his infallible God, Mr.
+Black is forced to defend religious intolerance, wars of extermination,
+human slavery, and almost polygamy. He admits that God established
+slavery; that he commanded his chosen people to buy the children of the
+heathen; that heathen fathers and mothers did right to sell their girls
+and boys; that God ordered the Jews to wage wars of extermination and
+conquest; that it was right to kill the old and young; that God forged
+manacles for the human brain; that he commanded husbands to murder their
+wives for suggesting the worship of the sun or moon; and that every
+cruel, savage passage in the Old Testament was inspired by him. Such is
+a "policeman's" view of God.
+
+
+
+
+465. The Stars Upon the Door of France
+
+Mr. Black justifies all the crimes and horrors, excuses all the tortures
+of all the Christian years, by denouncing the cruelties of the French
+Revolution. Thinking people will not hasten to admit that an infinitely
+good being authorized slavery in Judea, because of the atrocities of the
+French Revolution. They will remember the sufferings of the Huguenots.
+They will remember the massacre of St. Bartholomew. They will not forget
+the countless cruelties of priest and king. They will not forget the
+dungeons of the Bastile. They will know that the Revolution was an
+effect, and that liberty was not the cause--that atheism was not the
+cause. Behind the Revolution they will see altar and throne--sword and
+fagot--palace and cathedral--king and priest--master and slave--tyrant
+and hypocrite. They will see that the excesses, the cruelties, and
+crimes were but the natural fruit of seeds the church had sown. But the
+Revolution was not entirely evil. Upon that cloud of war, black with
+the myriad miseries of a thousand years, dabbled with blood of king and
+queen, of patriot and priest, there was this bow: "Beneath the flag of
+France all men are free." In spite of all the blood and crime, in spite
+of deeds that seem insanely base, the People placed upon a Nation's brow
+these stars:--Liberty, Fraternity, Equality--grander words than ever
+issued from Jehovah's lips.
+
+
+
+
+A KIND WORD FOR JOHN CHINAMAN
+
+On the 27th day of March, 1880, Messrs. Wright, Dickey, O'Conner, and
+Murch, of the Select Committee appointed by Congress to "Consider
+the causes of the present depression of labor," presented the majority
+special report on Chinese Immigration. The following quotations are
+excerpts from Col. R. G. Ingersoll's caustic review of that report.
+
+
+
+
+466. The Select Committee Afraid
+
+These gentlemen are in great fear for the future of our most holy and
+perfectly authenticated religion, and have, like faithful watchmen,
+from the walls and towers of Zion, hastened to give the alarm. They have
+informed Congress that "Joss has his temple of worship in the Chinese
+quarters, in San Francisco. Within the walls of a dilapidated structure
+is exposed to the view of the faithful the God of the Chinaman, and here
+are his altars of worship, Here he tears up his pieces of paper; here he
+offers up his prayers; here he receives his religious consolations,
+and here is his road to the celestial land." That "Joss is located in a
+long, narrow room, in a building in a back alley, upon a kind of altar;"
+that "he is a wooden image, looking as much like an alligator as like a
+human being;" that the Chinese "think there is such a place as heaven;"
+that "all classes of Chinamen worship idols;" that "the temple is open
+every day at all hours;" that "the Chinese have no Sunday;" that this
+heathen god has "huge jaws, a big red tongue, large white teeth, a half
+dozen arms, and big, fiery, eyeballs. About him are placed offerings of
+meat, and other eatables--a sacrificial offering."
+
+
+
+
+467. The Gods of the Joss-House and Patmos
+
+No wonder that these members of the committee were shocked at such a
+god, knowing as they did, that the only true God was correctly described
+by the inspired lunatic of Patmos in the following words: "And there sat
+in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks one like unto the Son of
+Man, clothed with a garment down to the foot, and girt about the paps
+with a golden girdle. His head and his hairs were white like wool, as
+white as snow; and his eyes were as a flame of fire; and his feet like
+unto fine brass as if they burned in a furnace; and his voice as the
+sound of many waters. And he had in his right hand seven stars; and out
+of his mouth went a sharp, two-edged sword; and his countenance was as
+the sun shining in his strength." Certainly, a large mouth, filled
+with white teeth, is preferable to one used as the scabbard of a sharp,
+two-edged sword. Why should these gentlemen object to a god with big
+fiery eyeballs, when their own Deity has eyes like a flame of fire?
+
+
+
+
+468. A Little Too Late
+
+Is it not a little late in the day to object to people because they
+sacrifice meat and other eatables to their god? We all know, that for
+thousands of years the "real" God was exceedingly fond of roasted meat;
+that He loved the savor of burning flesh, and delighted in the perfume
+of fresh warm blood.
+
+
+
+
+469. Christianity has a Fair Show in San Francisco
+
+The world is also informed by these gentlemen that "the idolatry of
+the Chinese produces a demoralizing effect upon our American youth by
+bringing sacred things into disrespect and making religion a theme of
+disgust and contempt." In San Francisco there are some three hundred
+thousand people. Is it possible that a few Chinese can bring "our holy
+religion" into disgust and contempt? In that city there are fifty times
+as many churches as joss-houses. Scores of sermons are uttered every
+week; religious books and papers are plentiful as leaves in autumn, and
+somewhat dryer; thousands of bibles are within the reach of all.
+
+
+
+
+470. An Arrow from the Quiver of Satire
+
+And there, too, is the example of a Christian city. Why should we send
+missionaries to China, if we cannot convert the heathen when they come
+here? When missionaries go to a foreign land the poor benighted people
+have to take their word for the blessings showered upon a Christian
+people; but when the heathen come here, they can see for themselves.
+What was simply a story becomes a demonstrated fact. They come in
+contact with people who love their enemies. They see that in a Christian
+land men tell the truth; that they will not take advantage of strangers;
+that they are just and patient; kind and tender; and have no prejudice
+on account of color, race or religion; that they look upon mankind as
+brethren; that they speak of God as a Universal Father, and are
+willing to work and even to suffer, for the good, not only of their own
+countrymen, but of the heathen as well. All this the Chinese see and
+know, and why they still cling to the religion of their country is, to
+me, a matter of amazement.
+
+
+
+
+471. We Have no Religious System
+
+I take this, the earliest opportunity, to inform these gentlemen
+composing a majority of the committee, that we have in the United States
+no "religious system;" that this is a secular government. That it has
+no religious creed; that it does not believe nor disbelieve in a future
+state of reward or punishment; that it neither affirms nor denies the
+existence of a "living" God.
+
+
+
+
+472. Congress Nothing to Do with Religion
+
+Congress has nothing to do with the religion of the people. Its members
+are not responsible to God for the opinions of their constituents, and
+it may tend to the happiness of the constituents for me to state that
+they are in no way responsible for the religion of the members. Religion
+is an individual, not a national matter. And where the nation interferes
+with the right of conscience, the liberties of the people are devoured
+by the monster Superstition.
+
+
+
+
+473. Concessions of the Illustrious Four!
+
+But I am astonished that four Christian statesmen, four members of
+Congress in the last quarter of the nineteenth century, who seriously
+object to people on account of their religious convictions, should
+still assert that the very religion in which they believe--and the only
+religion established by the living god-head of the American system--is
+not adapted to the spiritual needs of one-third of the human race. It is
+amazing that these four gentlemen have, in the defense of the Christian
+religion, announced the discovery that it is wholly inadequate for
+the civilization of mankind; that the light of the cross can never
+penetrate the darkness of China; "that all the labors of the missionary,
+the example of the good, the exalted character of our civilization, make
+no impression upon the pagan life of the Chinese;" and that even
+the report of this committee will not tend to elevate, refine and
+Christianize the yellow heathen of the Pacific coast. In the name
+of religion these gentlemen have denied its power and mocked at the
+enthusiasm of its founder. Worse than this, they have predicted for the
+Chinese a future of ignorance and idolatry in this world, and, if the
+"American system" of religion is true, hell-fire in the next.
+
+
+
+
+474. Do not Trample on John Chinaman
+
+Do not trample upon these people because they have a different
+conception of things about which even this committee knows nothing.
+Give them the same privilege you enjoy of making a God after their own
+fashion. And let them describe him as they will. Would you be willing
+to have them remain, if one of their race, thousands of years ago, had
+pretended to have seen God, and had written of him as follows: "There
+went up a smoke out of his nostrils, and fire out of his mouth; coals
+were kindled by it, * * * and he rode upon a cherub and did fly." Why
+should you object to these people on account of their religion? Your
+objection has in it the spirit of hate and intolerance. Of that spirit
+the Inquisition was born. That spirit lighted the fagot, made the
+thumb-screw, put chains upon the limbs, and lashes upon the backs of
+men. The same spirit bought and sold, captured and kidnapped human
+beings; sold babes, and justified all the horrors of slavery.
+
+
+
+
+475. Be Honest with the Chinese
+
+If you wish to drive out the Chinese, do not make a pretext of religion.
+Do not pretend that you are trying to do God a favor. Injustice in his
+name is doubly detestable. The assassin cannot sanctify his dagger by
+falling on his knees, and it does not help a falsehood if it be uttered
+as a prayer. Religion, used, to intensify the hatred of men toward men,
+under the pretense of pleasing God, has cursed this world.
+
+
+
+
+476. An Honest Merchant the Best Missionary
+
+I am almost sure that I have read somewhere that "Christ died for _all_
+men," and that "God is no respecter of persons." It was once taught
+that it was the duty of Christians to tell to all people the "tidings of
+great joy." I have never believed these things myself, but have always
+contended that an honest merchant was the best missionary. Commerce
+makes friends, religion makes enemies; the one enriches, and the other
+impoverishes; the one thrives best where the truth is told, the other
+where falsehoods are believed. For myself, I have but little confidence
+in any business, or enterprise, or investment, that promises dividends
+only after the death of the stockholders.
+
+
+
+
+477. Good Words from Confucius
+
+For the benefit of these four philosophers and prophets, I will give a
+few extracts from the writings of Confucius that will, in my judgment,
+compare favorably with the best passages of their report:
+
+"My doctrine is that man must be true to the principles of his nature,
+and the benevolent exercises of them toward others."
+
+"With coarse rice to eat, with water to drink, and with my bended arm
+for a pillow, I still have joy."
+
+"Riches and honor acquired by injustice are to me but floating clouds."
+
+"The man who, in view of gain, thinks of righteousness; who, in view of
+danger, forgets life; and who remembers an old agreement, however far
+back it extends, such a man may be reckoned a complete man."
+
+"Recompense injury with justice, and kindness with kindness."
+
+There is one word which may serve as a rule of practice for all one's
+life: Reciprocity is that word.
+
+
+
+
+478. The Ancient Chinese
+
+When the ancestors of the four Christian Congressmen were barbarians,
+when they lived in caves, gnawed bones, and worshiped dry snakes; the
+infamous Chinese were reading these sublime sentences of Confucius. When
+the forefathers of these Christian statesmen were hunting toads to
+get the jewels out of their heads to be used as charms, the wretched
+Chinamen were calculating eclipses, and measuring the circumference
+of the earth. When the progenitors of these representatives of the
+"American system of religion" were burning women charged with nursing
+devils, these people "incapable of being influenced by the exalted
+character of our civilization," were building asylums for the insane.
+
+
+
+
+479. The Chinese and Civil Service Reform
+
+Neither should it be forgotten that, for thousands of years, the Chinese
+have honestly practised the great principle known as civil service
+reform--a something that even the administration of Mr. Hayes has
+reached only through the proxy of promise.
+
+
+
+
+480. Invading China in the Name of Opium and Christ
+
+The English battered down the door of China in the names of Opium and
+Christ. This infamy was regarded as another triumph of the gospel.
+At last in self-defense the Chinese allowed Christians to touch their
+shores. Their wise men, their philosophers, protested, and prophesied
+that time would show that Christians could not be trusted. This re port
+proves that the wise men were not only philosophers but prophets.
+
+
+
+
+481. Don't be Dishonest in the Name of God
+
+Treat China as you would England. Keep a treaty while it is in force.
+Change it if you will, according to the laws of nations, but on no
+account excuse a breach of national faith by pretending that we are
+dishonest for God's sake.
+
+
+
+
+CONCERNING CREEDS AND THE TYRANNY OF SECTS
+
+
+
+
+482. Diversity of Opinion Abolished by Henry VIII
+
+In the reign of Henry VIII--that pious and moral founder of the
+apostolic Episcopal Church,--there was passed by the parliament
+of England an act entitled, "An act for abolishing of diversity of
+opinion." And in this act was set forth what a good Christian was
+obliged to believe:
+
+First, That in the sacrament was the real body and blood of Jesus
+Christ.
+
+Second, That the body and blood of Jesus Christ was in the bread, and
+the blood and body of Jesus Christ was in the wine.
+
+Third, That priests should not marry.
+
+Fourth, That vows of chastity were of perpetual obligation.
+
+Fifth, That private masses ought to be continued; and,
+
+Sixth, That auricular confession to a priest must be maintained.
+
+This creed was made by law, in order that all men might know just what
+to believe by simply reading the statute. The Church hated to see the
+people wearing out their brains in thinking upon these subjects.
+
+
+
+
+483. Spencer and Darwin Damned
+
+According to the philosophy of theology, man has continued to degenerate
+for six thousand years. To teach that there is that in nature which
+impels to higher forms and grander ends, is heresy, of course. The
+Deity will damn Spencer and his "Evolution," Darwin and his "Origin
+of Species," Bastian and his "Spontaneous Generation," Huxley and his
+"Protoplasm," Tyndall and his "Prayer Gauge," and will save those, and
+those only, who declare that the universe has been cursed, from the
+smallest atom to the grandest star; that everything tends to evil and to
+that only, and that the only perfect thing in nature is the Presbyterian
+Confession of Faith.
+
+
+
+
+484. The Dead do Not Persecute
+
+Imagine a vine that grows at one end and decays at the other. The
+end that grows is heresy, the end that rots is orthodox. The dead are
+orthodox, and your cemetery is the most perfect type of a well regulated
+church. No thought, no progress, no heresy there. Slowly and silently,
+side by side, the satisfied members peacefully decay. There is only this
+difference--the dead do not persecute.
+
+
+
+
+485. The Atheist a Legal Outcast in Illinois
+
+The supreme court of Illinois decided, in the year of grace 1856, that
+an unbeliever in the existence of an intelligent First Cause could not
+be allowed to testify in any court. His wife and children might have
+been murdered before his very face, and yet in the absence of other
+witnesses, the murderer could not have even been indicted. The atheist
+was a legal outcast. To him, Justice was not only blind, but deaf. He
+was liable, like other men, to support the government, and was forced to
+contribute his share towards paying the salaries of the very judges
+who decided that under no circumstances could his voice be heard in any
+court. This was the law of Illinois, and so remained until the adoption
+of the new Constitution By such infamous means has the Church endeavored
+to chain the human mind, and protect the majesty of her God.
+
+
+
+
+486. How the Owls Hoot
+
+Now and then somebody examines, and in spite of all keeps his manhood,
+and has the courage to follow where his reason leads. Then the pious
+get together and repeat wise saws, and exchange knowing nods and most
+prophetic winks. The stupidly wise sit owl-like on the dead limbs of the
+tree of knowledge, and solemnly hoot.
+
+
+
+
+487. The Fate of Theological Students
+
+Thousands of young men are being educated at this moment by the various
+Churches. What for? In order that they may be prepared to investigate
+the phenomena by which we are surrounded? No! The object, and the only
+object, is that they may be prepared to defend a creed; that they may
+learn the arguments of their respective churches, and repeat them in
+the dull ears of a thoughtless congregation. If one, after being thus
+trained at the expense of the Methodists, turns Presbyterian or Baptist,
+he is denounced as an ungrateful wretch. Honest investigation is utterly
+impossible within the pale of any Church, for the reason, that if you
+think the Church is right you will not investigate, and if you think it
+wrong, the Church will investigate you. The consequence of this is,
+that most of the theological literature is the result of suppression, of
+fear, tyranny and hypocrisy.
+
+
+
+
+488. Trials for Heresy
+
+A trial for heresy means that the spirit of persecution still lingers in
+the Church; that it still denies the right of private judgment; that it
+still thinks more of creed than truth, and that it is still determined
+to prevent the intellectual growth of man. It means the churches are
+shambles in which are bought and sold the souls of men. It means that
+the Church is still guilty of the barbarity of opposing thought with
+force. It means that if it had the power, the mental horizon would be
+bound by a creed; that it would bring again the whips and chains and
+dungeon keys, the rack and fagot of the past.
+
+
+
+
+489. Presbyterianism Softening
+
+Fortunately for us, civilization has had a softening effect even upon
+the Presbyterian Church. To the ennobling influence of the arts and
+sciences the savage spirit of Calvinism has, in some slight degree,
+succumbed. True, the old creed remains substantially as it was written,
+but by a kind of tacit understanding it has come to be regarded as a
+relic of the past. The cry of "heresy" has been growing fainter and
+fainter, and, as a consequence, the ministers of that denomination
+have ventured, now and then, to express doubts as to the damnation of
+infants, and the doctrine of total depravity.
+
+
+
+
+490. The Methodist "Hoist with his own Petard."
+
+A few years ago a Methodist clergyman took it upon himself to give me a
+piece of friendly advice. "Although you may disbelieve the bible," said
+he, "you ought not to say so. That, you should keep to yourself." "Do
+you believe the bible," said I. He replied, "Most assuredly." To which
+I retorted, "Your answer conveys no information to me. You may be
+following your own advice. You told me to suppress my opinions. Of
+course a man who will advise others to dissimulate will not always be
+particular about telling the truth himself."
+
+
+
+
+491. The Precious Doctrine of Total Depravity
+
+What a precious doctrine is that of the total depravity of the human
+heart! How sweet it is to believe that the lives of all the good and
+great were continual sins and perpetual crimes; that the love a mother
+bears her child is, in the sight of God, a sin; that the gratitude of
+the natural heart is simple meanness; that the tears of pity are impure;
+that for the unconverted to live and labor for others is an offense to
+heaven; that the noblest aspirations of the soul are low and groveling
+in the sight of God.
+
+
+
+
+492. Guilty of Heresy
+
+Whoever has an opinion of his own, and honestly expresses it, will be
+guilty of heresy. Heresy is what the minority believe; it is the name
+given by the powerful to the doctrine of the weak. This word was born of
+the hatred, arrogance and cruelty of those who love their enemies, and
+who, when smitten on one cheek, turn the other. This word was born of
+intellectual slavery in the feudal ages of thought. It was an epithet
+used in the place of argument. From the commencement of the Christian
+era, every art has been exhausted and every conceivable punishment
+inflicted to force all people to hold the same religious opinions. This
+effort was born of the idea that a certain belief was necessary to the
+salvation of the soul.
+
+
+
+
+493. Dishonest Teachers.
+
+One great trouble is that most teachers are dishonest. They teach as
+certainties those things concerning which they entertain doubts. They
+do not say, "we _think_ this is so," but "we _know_ this is so." They do
+not appeal to the reason of the pupil, but they command his faith. They
+keep all doubts to themselves; they do not explain, they assert. All
+this is infamous.
+
+
+
+
+494. Self-Reliance a Deadly Sin!
+
+In all ages reason has been regarded as the enemy of religion. Nothing
+has been considered so pleasing to the Deity as a total denial of the
+authority of your own mind. Self-reliance has been thought a deadly
+sin; and the idea of living and dying without the aid and consolation
+of superstition has always horrified the Church. By some unaccountable
+infatuation, belief has been and still is considered of immense
+importance. All religions have been based upon the idea that God will
+forever reward the true believer, and eternally damn the man who doubts
+or denies. Belief is regarded as the one essential thing. To practice
+justice, to love mercy, is not enough. You must believe in some
+incomprehensible creed. You must say, "Once one is three, and three
+times one is one." The man who practiced every virtue, but failed to
+believe, was execrated. Nothing so outrages the feelings of the Church
+as a moral unbeliever--nothing so horrible as a charitable Atheist.
+
+
+
+
+495. A Hundred and Fifty Years Ago
+
+One hundred and fifty years ago the foremost preachers would have
+perished at the stake. A Universalist would have been torn in pieces in
+England, Scotland, and America. Unitarians would have found themselves
+in the stocks, pelted by the rabble with dead cats, after which their
+ears would have been cut off, their tongues bored, and their foreheads
+branded.
+
+
+
+
+496. The Despotism of Faith
+
+The despotism of faith is justified upon the ground that Christian
+countries are the grandest and most prosperous of the world. At one time
+the same thing could have been truly said in India, in Egypt, in Greece,
+in Rome, and in every other country that has, in the history of the
+world, swept to empire. This argument proves too much not only, but the
+assumption upon which it is based is utterly false.
+
+
+
+
+497. Believe, or Beware
+
+And what does a trial for heresy mean? It means that the Church says
+a heretic, "Believe as I do, or I will withdraw my support. I will not
+employ you. I will pursue you until your garments are rags; until your
+children cry for bread; until your cheeks are furrowed with tears. I
+will hunt you to the very portals of the grave."
+
+
+
+
+498. Calvin's Petrified Heart
+
+Luther denounced mental liberty with all the coarse and brutal vigor
+of his nature; Calvin despised, from the very bottom of his petrified
+heart, anything that even looked like religious toleration, and solemnly
+declared that to advocate it was to crucify Christ afresh. All the
+founders of all the orthodox churches have advocated the same infamous
+tenet. The truth is, that what is called religion is necessarily
+inconsistent with free thought.
+
+
+
+
+499. Logic Unconfined.
+
+Must one be versed in Latin before he is entitled to express his opinion
+as to the genuineness of a pretended revelation from God? Common sense
+belongs exclusively to no tongue. Logic is not confined to, nor has it
+been buried with, the dead languages. Paine attacked the bible as it is
+translated. If the translation is wrong, let its defenders correct it.
+
+
+
+
+500. Politeness at Athens!
+
+A gentleman, walking among the ruins of Athens came upon a fallen statue
+of Jupiter; making an exceedingly low bow he said: "O Jupiter! I salute
+thee." He then added: "Should you ever sit upon the throne of heaven
+again, do not, I pray you, forget that I treated you politely when you
+were prostrate."
+
+
+
+
+501. The Tail of a Lion
+
+There is no saying more degrading than this: "It is better to be the
+tail of a lion than the head of a dog." It is a responsibility to think
+and act for yourself. Most people hate responsibility; therefore they
+join something and become the tail of some lion. They say, "My party
+can act for me--my church can do my thinking. It is enough for me to
+pay taxes and obey the lion to which I belong, without troubling myself
+about the right, the wrong, or the why or the wherefore."
+
+
+
+
+502. While the Preachers Talked the People Slept
+
+The fact is, the old ideas became a little monotonous to the people. The
+fall of man, the scheme of redemption and irresistible grace, began
+to have a familiar sound. The preachers told the old stories while the
+congregations slept. Some of the ministers became tired of these stories
+themselves. The five points grew dull, and they felt that nothing short
+of irresistible grace could bear this endless repetition. The outside
+world was full of progress, and in every direction men advanced, while
+the church, anchored to a creed, idly rotted at the shore.
+
+
+
+
+503. Christianity no Friend to Progress
+
+Christianity has always opposed every forward movement of the human
+race. Across the highway of progress it has always been building
+breastworks of bibles, tracts, commentaries, prayer-books, creeds,
+dogmas and platforms, and at every advance the Christians have gathered
+together behind these heaps of rubbish and shot the poisoned arrows of
+malice at the soldiers of freedom.
+
+
+
+
+504. Where is the New Eden?
+
+You may be laughed at in this world for insisting that God put Adam into
+a deep sleep and made a woman out of one of his ribs, but you will be
+crowned and glorified in the next. You will also have the pleasure of
+hearing the gentlemen howl there, who laughed at you here. While you
+will not be permitted to take any revenge, you will be allowed to
+smilingly express your entire acquiescence in the will of God. But where
+is the new Eden? No one knows. The one was lost, and the other has not
+been found.
+
+
+
+
+505. The Real Eden is Beyond
+
+Nations and individuals fail and die, and make room for higher forms.
+The intellectual horizon of the world widens as the centuries pass.
+Ideals grow grander and purer; the difference between justice and mercy
+becomes less and less; liberty enlarges, and love intensifies as the
+years sweep on. The ages of force and fear, of cruelty and wrong, are
+behind us and the real Eden is beyond. It is said that a desire for
+knowledge lost us the Eden of the past; but whether that is true or not,
+it will certainly give us the Eden of the future.
+
+
+
+
+506. Party Names Belittle Men
+
+Let us forget that we are Baptists, Methodists, Catholics,
+Presbyterians, or Free-thinkers, and remember only that we are men and
+women. After all, man and woman are the highest possible titles. All
+other names belittle us, and show that we have, to a certain extent,
+given up our individuality.
+
+
+
+
+A FEW PLAIN QUESTIONS
+
+
+
+
+507. Where Did the Serpent Come From?
+
+Where did the serpent come from? On which of the six days was he
+created? Who made him? Is it possible that God would make a successful
+rival? He must have known that Adam and Eve would fall. He knew what
+a snake with a "spotted, dappled skin" could do with an inexperienced
+woman. Why did he not defend his children? He knew that if the serpent
+got into the garden, Adam and Eve would sin, that he would have to drive
+them out, that afterwards the world would be destroyed, and that he
+himself would die upon the cross.
+
+
+
+
+508. Must We Believe Fables to be Good and True? Must we, in order to be
+good, gentle and loving in our lives, believe that the creation of woman
+was a second thought? That Jehovah really endeavored to induce Adam to
+take one of the lower animals as an helpmeet for him? After all, is it
+not possible to live honest and courageous lives without believing these
+fables?
+
+
+
+
+509. Why Did Not God Kill the Serpent?
+
+Why was not the serpent kept out of the garden? Why did not the Lord God
+take him by the tail and snap his head off? Why did he not put Adam
+and Eve on their guard about this serpent? They, of course, were not
+acquainted in the neighborhood, and knew nothing about the serpent's
+reputation.
+
+
+
+
+510. Questions About the Ark
+
+How was the ark kept clean? We know how it was ventilated; but what
+was done with the filth? How were the animals watered? How were some
+portions of the ark heated for animals from the tropics, and others
+kept cool for the polar bears? How did the animals get back to their
+respective countries? Some had to creep back about six thousand miles,
+and they could only go a few feet a day. Some of the creeping things
+must have started for the ark just as soon as they were made, and kept
+up a steady jog for sixteen hundred years. Think of a couple of the
+slowest snails leaving a point opposite the ark and starting for the
+plains of Shinar, a distance of twelve thousand miles. Going at the rate
+rate of a mile a month, it would take them a thousand years. How did
+they get there? Polar bears must have gone several thousand miles, and
+so sudden a change in climate must have been exceedingly trying upon
+their health. How did they know the way to go? Of course, all the polar
+bears did not go. Only two were required. Who selected these?
+
+
+
+
+511. Was Language Confounded at Babel.
+
+How could language be confounded? It could be confounded only by the
+destruction of memory. Did God destroy the memory of mankind at
+that time, and if so, how? Did he paralyze that portion of the brain
+presiding over the organs of articulation, so that they could not speak
+the words, although they remembered them clearly, or did he so touch
+the brain that they could not hear? Will some theologian, versed in
+the machinery of the miraculous, tell us in what way God confounded the
+language of mankind?
+
+
+
+
+512. Would God Kill a Man for Making Ointment?
+
+Can we believe that the real God, if there is one, ever ordered a man
+to be killed simply for making hair oil, or ointment? We are told in
+the thirtieth chapter of Exodus, that the Lord commanded Moses to take
+myrrh, cinnamon, sweet calamus, cassia, and olive oil, and make a
+holy ointment for the purpose of anointing the tabernacle, tables,
+candlesticks and other utensils, as well as Aaron and his sons; saying,
+at the same time, that whosoever compounded any like it, or whoever put
+any of it on a stranger, should be put to death. In the same chapter,
+the Lord furnishes Moses with a recipe for making a perfume, saying,
+that whoever should make any which smelled like it, should be cut off
+from his people. This, to me, sounds so unreasonable that I cannot
+believe it.
+
+
+
+
+513. How Did Water run up Hill?
+
+Some Christians say that the fountains of the great deep were broken up.
+Will they be kind enough to tell us what the fountains of the great deep
+are? Others say that God had vast stores of water in the center of the
+earth that he used on the occasion of the flood. How did these waters
+happen to run up hill?
+
+
+
+
+514. Would a Real God Uphold Slavery?
+
+Must we believe that God called some of his children the money of
+others? Can we believe that God made lashes upon the naked back, a
+legal tender for labor performed? Must we regard the auction block as an
+altar? Were blood hounds, apostles? Was the slave-pen a temple? Were the
+stealers and whippers of babes and women the justified children of God?
+
+
+
+
+515. Will There Be an Eternal Auto da Fe?
+
+Will some minister, who now believes in religious liberty, and
+eloquently denounces the intolerance of Catholicism, explain these
+things; will he tell us why he worships an intolerant God? Is a god who
+will burn a soul forever in another world, better than a christian who
+burns the body for a few hours in this? Is there no intellectual liberty
+in heaven?
+
+Do the angels all discuss questions on the same side? Are all the
+investigators in perdition? Will the penitent thief, winged and crowned,
+laugh at the honest folks in hell? Will the agony of the damned increase
+or decrease the happiness of God? Will there be, in the universe, an
+eternal _auto da fe_?
+
+
+
+
+516. Why Hate an Atheist?
+
+Why should a believer in God hate an atheist? Surely the atheist has
+not injured God, and surely he is human, capable of joy and pain, and
+entitled to all the rights of man. Would it not be far better to treat
+this atheist, at least, as well as he treats us?
+
+
+
+
+ORIENT PEARLS AS RANDOM STRUNG
+
+I do not believe that Christians are as bad as their creeds.
+
+The highest crime against a creed is to change it. Reformation is
+treason.
+
+A believer is a bird in a cage, a free-thinker is an eagle parting the
+clouds with tireless wing.
+
+All that is good in our civilization is the result of commerce, climate,
+soil, geographical position.
+
+The heretics have not thought and suffered and died in vain. Every
+heretic has been, and is, a ray of light.
+
+No man ever seriously attempted to reform a Church without being cast
+out and hunted down by the hounds of hypocrisy.
+
+After all, the poorest bargain that a human being can make, is to give
+his individuality for what is called respectability.
+
+On every hand are the enemies of individuality and mental freedom.
+Custom meets us at the cradle and leaves us only at the tomb.
+
+There can be nothing more utterly subversive of all that is really
+valuable than the suppression of honest thought.
+
+No man, worthy of the form he bears, will at the command of Church or
+State solemnly repeat a creed his reason scorns.
+
+Although we live in what is called a free government,--and politically
+we are free,--there is but little religious liberty in America.
+
+According to orthodox logic, God having furnished us with imperfect
+minds, has a right to demand a perfect result.
+
+Nearly all people stand in great horror of annihilation, and yet to give
+up your individuality is to annihilate yourself.
+
+When women reason, and babes sit in the lap of philosophy, the victory
+of reason over the shadowy host of darkness will be complete.
+
+Of all the religions that have been produced by the egotism, the malice,
+the ignorance and ambition of man, Presbyterianism is the most hideous.
+
+And what man who really thinks can help repeating the words of Ennius:
+"If there are gods they certainly pay no attention to the affairs of
+man."
+
+Events, like the pendulum of a clock have swung forward and backward,
+but after all, man, like the hands, has gone steadily on. Man is growing
+grander.
+
+In spite of Church and dogma, there have been millions and millions of
+men and women true to the loftiest and most generous promptings of the
+human heart.
+
+I was taught to hate Catholicism with every drop of my blood, it is only
+justice to say, that in all essential particulars it is precisely the
+same as every other religion.
+
+Wherever brave blood has been shed, the sword of the Church has been
+wet. On every chain has been the sign of the cross. The altar and throne
+have leaned against and supported each other.
+
+We have all been taught by the Church that nothing is so well calculated
+to excite the ire of the Deity as to express a doubt as to his
+existence, and that to deny it is an unpardonable sin.
+
+Universal obedience is universal stagnation; disobedience is one of the
+conditions of progress. Select any age of the world and tell me what
+would have been the effect of implicit obedience.
+
+We have no national religion, and no national God; but every citizen
+is allowed to have a religion and a God of his own, or to reject all
+religions and deny the existence of all gods.
+
+Whatever may be the truth upon any subject has nothing to do with our
+right to investigate that subject, and express any opinion we may form.
+All that I ask, is the same right I freely accord to all others.
+
+Mental slavery is mental death, and every man who has given up his
+intellectual freedom is the living coffin of his dead soul. In this
+sense, every church is a cemetery and every creed an epitaph.
+
+Think of reading the 109th Psalm to a heathen who has a Bible of his own
+in which is found this passage: "Blessed is the man and beloved of all
+the gods, who is afraid of no man, and of whom no man is afraid."
+
+The trouble with most people is, they bow to what is called authority;
+they have a certain reverence for the old because it is old. They think
+a man is better for being dead, especially if he has been dead a long
+time.
+
+We should all remember that to be like other people is to be unlike
+ourselves, and that nothing can be more detestable in character than
+servile imitation. The great trouble with imitation is, that we are apt
+to ape those who are in reality far below us.
+
+Suppose the Church had had absolute control of the human mind at any
+time, would not the words liberty and progress have been blotted from
+human speech? In defiance of advice, the world has advanced.
+
+Over every fortress of tyranny has waved, and still waves, the banner of
+the Church.
+
+The Church has won no victories for the rights of man.
+
+We have advanced in spite of religious zeal, ignorance, and opposition.
+
+Luther labored to reform the Church--Voltaire, to reform men.
+
+There have been, and still are, too many men who own themselves--too
+much thought, too much knowledge for the Church to grasp again the
+sword of power. The Church must abdicate. For the Eg-lon of superstition
+Science has a message from Truth.
+
+It is a blessed thing that in every age some one has had individuality
+enough and courage enough to stand by his own convictions,--some one
+who had the grandeur to say his say. I believe it was Magellan who said.
+"The Church says the earth is flat; but I have seen its shadow on the
+moon, and I have more confidence even in a shadow than in the Church."
+"On the prow of his ship were disobedience, defiance, scorn, and
+success.
+
+
+
+
+INGERSOLL'S ORATION AT HIS BROTHER'S GRAVE
+
+     A Tribute to Ebon C. Ingersoll, by his Brother
+     Robert--The Record of a Generous Life Runs
+     Like a  Vine Around the Memory of our
+     Dead,   and   Every   Sweet,   Unselfish
+     Act is Now a Perfumed Flower.
+
+Dear Friends: I am going to do that which the dead oft promised he would
+do for me.
+
+The loved and loving brother, husband, father, friend, died where
+manhood's morning almost touches noon, and while the shadows still were
+falling toward the west.
+
+He had not passed on life's highway the stone that marks the highest
+point; but, being weary for a moment, he lay down by the wayside, and,
+using his burden for a pillow, fell into that dreamless sleep that
+kisses down his eyelids still. While yet in love with life and raptured
+with the world, he passed to silence and pathetic dust.
+
+Yet, after all, it may be best, just in the happiest, sunniest hour
+of all the voyage, while eager winds are kissing every sail, to dash
+against the unseen rock, and in an instant hear the billows roar above a
+sunken ship For whether in mid sea or '<DW41> the breakers of the farther
+shore, a wreck at last must mark the end of each and all. And every
+life, no matter if its every hour is rich with love and every moment
+jeweled with a joy, will, at its close, become a tragedy as sad and deep
+and dark as can be woven of the warp and woof of mystery and death.
+
+This brave and tender man in every storm of life was oak and rock; but
+in the sunshine he was vine and flower. He was the friend of all heroic
+souls. He climbed the heights, and left all superstitions far below,
+while on his forehead fell the golden dawning of the grander day.
+
+He loved the beautiful, and was with color, form, and music touched to
+tears. He sided with the weak, the poor, and wronged, and lovingly
+gave alms. With loyal heart and with the purest hands he faithfully
+discharged all public trusts.
+
+He was a worshiper of liberty, a friend of the oppressed. A thousand
+times I have heard him quote these words: "For Justice all place a
+temple, and all season, summer." He believed that happiness was the only
+good, reason the only torch, justice the only worship, humanity the only
+religion, and love the only priest. He added to the sum of human joy;
+and were every one to whom he did some loving service to bring a blossom
+to his grave, he would sleep to-night beneath a wilderness of sweet
+flowers.
+
+Life is a narrow vale between the cold and barren peaks of two
+eternities. We strive in vain to look beyond the heights. We cry aloud,
+and the only answer is the echo of our wailing cry. From the voiceless
+lips of the unreplying dead there comes no word; but in the night of
+death hope sees a star and listening love can hear the rustle of a wing.
+
+He who sleeps here, when dying, mistaking the approach of death for the
+return of health, whispered with his latest breath, "I am better now."
+Let us believe, in spite of doubts and dogmas, of fears and tears, that
+these dear words are true of all the countless dead.
+
+And now, to you, who have been chosen, from among the many men he loved,
+to do the last sad office for the dead, we give his sacred dust.
+
+Speech cannot contain our love. There was, there is, no gentler,
+stronger, manlier man.
+
+
+
+
+INGERSOLL'S DREAM OF THE WAR
+
+     The Following Words of Matchless Eloquence were
+     Addressed by Col. Ingersoll to the Veteran
+     Soldiers of Indianapolis.
+
+The past, as it were, rises before me like a dream. Again we are in the
+great struggle for national life. We hear the sound of preparation--the
+music of the boisterous drums--the silver voices of heroic bugles. We
+see thousands of assemblages, and hear the appeals of orators; we see
+the pale cheeks of women, and the flushed faces of men; and in those
+assemblages we see all the dead whose dust we have covered with flowers.
+We lose sight of them no more. We are with them when they enlist in the
+great army of freedom. We see them part with those they love. Some are
+walking for the last time in quiet, woody places with the maidens they
+adore. We hear the whisperings and the sweet vows of eternal love as
+they lingeringly part forever. Others are bending over cradles kissing
+babes that are asleep.
+
+Some are receiving the blessings of old men. Some are parting with
+mothers who hold them and press them to their hearts again and again,
+and say nothing; and some are talking with wives, and endeavoring with
+brave words spoken in the old tones to drive away the awful fear. We
+see them part. We see the wife standing in the door with the babe in her
+arms--standing in the sunlight sobbing--at the turn of the road a hand
+waves--she answers by holding high in her loving hands the child. He is
+gone, and forever.
+
+We see them all as they march proudly away under the flaunting flags,
+keeping time to the wild music of war--marching down the streets of the
+great cities--through the towns and across the prairies--down to the
+fields of glory, and do and to die for the eternal right.
+
+We go with them one and all. We are by their side on all the gory
+fields, in all the hospitals of pain--on all the weary marches. We stand
+guard with them in the wild storm and under the quiet stars. We are with
+them in ravines running with blood--in the furrows of old fields. We are
+with them between contending hosts, unable to move, wild with thirst,
+the life ebbing slowly away among the withered leaves. We see them
+pierced by balls and torn with shells in the trenches of forts, and in
+the whirlwind of the charge, where men become iron with nerves of steel.
+
+We are with them in the prisons of hatred and famine, but human speech
+can never tell what they endured.
+
+We are at home when the news comes that they are dead. We see the maiden
+in the shadow of her sorrow. We see the silvered head of the old man
+bowed with the last grief.
+
+The past rises before us, and we see four millions of human beings
+governed by the lash--we see them bound hand and foot--we hear the
+strokes of cruel whips--we see the hounds tracking women through
+tangled swamps. We see babes sold from the breasts of mothers. Cruelty
+unspeakable! Outrage infinite!
+
+Four million bodies in chains--four million souls in fetters. All the
+sacred relations of wife, mother, father and child trampled beneath the
+brutal feet of might. All this was done under our own beautiful banner
+of the free.
+
+The past rises before us. We hear the roar and shriek of the bursting
+shell. The broken fetters fall. There heroes died. We look. Instead of
+slaves we see men and women and children. The wand of progress touches
+the auction-block, the slave-pen, and the whipping-post, and we see
+homes and firesides, and school-houses and books, and where all was want
+and crime, and cruelty and fear, we see the faces of the free.
+
+These heroes are dead. They died for liberty--they died for us. They
+are at rest, They sleep in the land they made free, under the flag
+they rendered stainless, under the solemn pines, the sad hemlocks, the
+tearful willows, the embracing vines. They sleep beneath the shadows of
+the clouds, careless alike of sunshine or storm, each in the window-less
+palace of rest. Earth may run red with other wars--they are at peace. In
+the midst of battle, in the roar of conflict, they found the serenity of
+death. I have one sentiment for the soldiers living and dead--cheers for
+the living and tears for the dead.
+
+
+
+
+EPIGRAMS.
+
+It is not necessary to be a pig in order to raise one.
+
+Houses makes patriots.
+
+A blow from a parent leaves a scar on the soul of the child.
+
+Free speech is the brain of the Republic.
+
+A mortgage casts a shadow on the sunniest field.
+
+Agriculture is the basis of all wealth.
+
+Every man should endeavor to belong to himself.
+
+It is better to be a whole farmer than part of a mechanic.
+
+Nothing is ever made by rascality.
+
+One good school-master is worth a thousand priests.
+
+A lie will not fit a fact.
+
+Out in the intellectual sea there is room for every sail.
+
+An honest God is the noblest work of man.
+
+To plow is to pray.
+
+Progress is born of courage. Fear paralyzes the brain.
+
+
+
+
+DEFINITIONS.
+
+A King is a non-producing thief, sitting on a throne, surrounded by
+vermin.
+
+Whiskey is the son of villainies, the father of all crimes, the mother
+of all abominations, the devil's best friend, and God's worst enemy.
+
+An Orthodox Man is a gentleman petrified in his mind.
+
+Heresy is a cradle.
+
+Orthodoxy is a coffin.
+
+Chicago is a marvel of energy, a miracle of nerva
+
+The Pulpit is a pillory.
+
+Theology is a superstition.
+
+Humanity is the only religion.
+
+A Republican is a man who loves something.
+
+A Democrat is a man who hates something.
+
+Germany is the Land of Science.
+
+Civilization is the Child of Forethought
+
+Prejudice is the Child of Ignorance.
+
+Infidelity is Liberty.
+
+Religion is Slavery.
+
+
+
+
+BELIEFS.
+
+I believe in absolute intellectual liberty. I believe in American labor.
+I believe in the democracy of the fireside, in the republicanism of the
+home.
+
+I believe in liberty, always and everywhere. I believe in truth, in
+investigation, in forethought.
+
+I believe in the gospel of education, of cheerfulness, of justice and
+intelligence.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Ingersollia, by Robert G. Ingersoll
+
+*** 
\ No newline at end of file