Original sentence: As hip hop has become less of an underground culture, it is subject to debate whether or not the spirit of hip hop is embodied in protest, or whether it can evolve to exist in a marketable integrated version.Authenticity is often a serious debate withinin hip hop culture.In “Authenticity Within Hip-Hop and Other Cultures Threatened with Assimilation,” Commentator Kembrew McLeod argues that hip hop culture is actually threatened with assimilation by a larger, mainstream culture
Edited sentence: As Kembrew McLeod points out in “Authenticity Within Hip-Hop and Other Cultures Threatened with Assimilation,” hip hop culture is threatened with assimilation by a larger, mainstream culture.As hip hop became less and less of an underground scene, it was subject to a global debate over whether or not the spirit of hip hop was embodied in protest, or whether it could evolve to exist in a marketable integrated version.The conformity and commercialism attached to this mainstream culture was exactly what initial hip hop artists seek to break away from