Original sentence: The problem is that there is an apparently irreconcilable dispute between Israel and most of the rest of the world over whether the Israeli military and civilian presence in the West Bank and Gaza Strip really does constitute an occupation, and whether or not it is illegal
Edited sentence: The problem is that there is an apparently irreconcilable dispute over whether the Israeli military and civilian presence in the West Bank and Gaza Strip really does constitute an occupation, and whether or not it is illegal