Original sentence: "Bob" Peters is a former men's ice hockey coach.He was the head coach of the Bemidji State University ice hockey team from 1967 to 2001.With 744 wins, he ranks fifth all-time in career wins by a men's college ice hockey coach
Edited sentence: “Bob” Peters took over as the fifth head coach of Bemidji State University ice hockey in 1966, and he constructed a dynasty which remains unparalleled in the world of collegiate athletics