Original sentence: As a result, downloads of the Bitmessage program increased fivefold during June 2013, after news broke of classified email surveillance activities conducted by the NSA.In June 2013, the software experienced a surge of new adoptions after news broke about the National Security Agency's email surveillance activities
Edited sentence: As a result, downloads of the Bitmessage program increased fivefold during June 2013, following Edward Snowden's disclosure of classified email surveillance activities conducted by the NSA.The software experienced a surge of new adoptions resulting from Edward Snowden's disclosure of the National Security Agency's email surveillance activities