Original sentence: In 2006, 15,000 foreigners travelled to the country for medical procedures, bringing in $40 million of revenue.Israel is emerging as a popular destination for medical tourists.Its modern, field-leading set of physicians and medical facilities are often used by international patients.Medical tourists choose Israel for several reasons.Other medical tourists come to Israel to visit the Dead Sea, a world-famous therapeutic resort.Others come to Israel, perhaps most commonly from the US, because they can receive quality health care at a fraction of the cost it would be at home, for both surgeries and  in-vitro fertilization treatments.Some come from European nations such as Bulgaria and Cyprus where certain procedures are not available
Edited sentence: Firstly, some come from European nations such as Bulgaria and Cyprus where certain procedures are not carried out.Furthermore, many medical tourists come to Israel to visit the Dead Sea at which a number of therepuetic treaments are carried out.In 2006, 15,000 foreigners travelled to the country for medical procedures bringing in $40 million of revenue.Israel has a modern, field-leading set of physicians and medical facilities which are often used by international patients on medical tourism trips.Secondly, many come to Israel, perhaps most commonly from the USA, because they can recieve top quality health care at a fraction of the cost it would be in the USA, for both operations and IVF treatment.Travellers come to Israel for a number of reasons