Original sentence: An example of this is his rant about XML being an inferior markup language.One of the worst examples might be this diatribe against Martin Bryan.When he was passionate about something, which he was on many subjects, he eagerly and often harshly argued for his point of view
Edited sentence: Moderate examples of this are his rant about XML being an inferior markup language and this diatribe against Martin Bryan.One of the worst examples might be this rant against Marcus G.When he was passionate about something, which he was on many subjects, he eagerly and often harshly argued for his point of view, often including personal attacks