Original sentence: As a daughter of Seo Nul later became the queen by marring King Hyeonjung, his clan emerged as one of relatives on the King's mother´s side.Seo Hui became a jaesang, a collective term referring to officials with a high rank in ancient Korea, just like his father as well as his sons, Seo Nul (徐訥) and Seo Yu-geol (徐惟傑) followed their father's footstep by serving respectively up to as Munha sijung (門下侍中), the title of the highest minister of state and Jwabokya (左僕射), the second rank of Sangseoseong (尙書省), Secretariat for State Affairs of Goryeo.Until the life time of his grandfather, Seo Sin-il (徐神逸), the Seo clan is assumed to be a hojok or a powerful local gentry based on the Icheon areas in nowadays, southeastern of Gyeonggi Province
Edited sentence: As a daughter of Seo Nul later became the queen by marring King Hyeonjong, his clan emerged as one of relatives on the King's mother´s side.His sons, Seo Nul (徐訥) and Seo Yu-geol (徐惟傑) also followed their father's footstep by serving respectively up to as Munha sijung (門下侍中), the title of the highest minister of state and Jwabokya (左僕射), the second rank of Sangseoseong (尙書省), Secretariat for State Affairs of Goryeo.Seo Hui became a jaesang, the collective term referring to officials with a high rank in ancient Korea, just like his father.Until the life time of his grandfather, Seo Sin-il (徐神逸), the Seo clan was assumed to be a hojok or a powerful local gentry based on the Icheon areas in nowadays, southeastern of the Gyeonggi Province