Original sentence: Albans before moving on to the University of Florida (1975–79) as assistant track coach, then head coach at Stanford University (1979–92), succeeding coach Payton Jordan, and California Polytechnic State University (1993–96)
Edited sentence: Albans before moving on to the University of Florida (1975–79) as assistant track coach, then head coach at Stanford University (1979–92), following on from the legendary coach Payton Jordan, and California Polytechnic State University (1993–96)