Original sentence: Set in the near-future, mind-control technology has taken society by storm and a multiplayer on-line game called "Slayers" allows gamers to control human death row prisoners in mass-scale deathmatches, if an inmate lives through 30 matches then he wins his freedom
Edited sentence: An inmate who lives through 30 matches wins his freedom.In the near-future, mind-control technology has taken society by storm, and a multiplayer on-line game called "Slayers" allows gamers to control human death row prisoners in mass-scale deathmatches