Original sentence: Egg and Milly are in a relationship dating from their university days but their career choices create tension between them: Milly is a high-flyer, spending much time working with — and becoming attracted to — her older boss, whereas Egg suffers a crisis of dissatisfaction with, and drops out of, his law career.Miles appears at times to dislike Warren, and subjects him to occasional homophobic abuse when angered.The latter is exacerbated when Miles invites his girlfriend, the drug addicted, bulimic, manipulative Delilah (Charlotte Bicknell), to move into the house with him
Edited sentence: Egg and Milly have been dating since they were at university together but their career choices create tension between them: Milly is a high-flyer, spending a lot of time working with — and becoming attracted to — her older boss, whereas Egg suffers a crisis of dissatisfaction with, and drops out of, his law career.Miles appears, at times, to dislike Warren, and subjects him to occasional homophobic abuse when angered.The latter is exacerbated when Miles's girlfriend, the drug addicted, bulimic, manipulative Delilah (Charlotte Bicknell), moves in with him