Original sentence: After retrieving her complete correspondence (which had been carefully preserved by the Moore children), she selected a letter written to Noel Moore about Peter Rabbit when the boy was ill in 1893.Beatrix Potter wrote many letters to the children of her former governess, Annie Moore, and, in 1900, Moore suggested turning the letters into books when Potter visited her at Wadsworth.Her revisions created a suspenseful tale, slowed the narrative down, added intrigue, and gave a greater sense of the passage of time.She copied the work into an exercise book with a frontispiece depicting Mrs Rabbit dosing Peter with camomile tea.The letter was too short to make a proper book so Potter expanded the tale and added black-and-white illustrations
Edited sentence: After retrieving her complete correspondence (which had been carefully preserved by the Moore children), she selected a letter written to Noel Moore when he was ill in 1893 about a rabbit named Peter.Beatrix Potter wrote many letters to the children of her former governess, Annie Moore, and, in 1900, Moore suggested turning the letters into books when Potter visited her at her home in Wadsworth.Her revisions created a suspenseful tale, slowed the narrative, added intrigue, and gave a greater sense of the passage of time.Rabbit dosing Peter with camomile tea.She copied the work into an exercise book with a frontispiece depicting Mrs.The story int he letter was too short to make a proper book so Potter expanded the tale and added black-and-white illustrations