Original sentence: Though they are notably conspicuous in sporting activities (especially upon the attainment of a goal or score), fist pumps are present in a wide range of other industries including real estate marketing, naval engineering, information technology and Stratco Poker nights
Edited sentence: Though they are notably conspicuous in sporting activities (especially upon the attainment of a goal or score), fist pumps are present in a wide range of other industries including real estate marketing, naval engineering and information technology