Original sentence: A Winnipeg native, Parkes joined the CCA in Ottawa in 1988 as its general manager and became its chief executive officer in 2000.During the remainder of his tenure, he oversaw the creation of the sport's Season of Champions; a series of national and international championships, which have provided, on average, 175 hours of television coverage annually, more than any other amateur sport in Canada.However, the CCA was able to work things out for the following season, by brining back TSN's broadcast of round robin curling games.Parkes came under tremendous heat during the 2004-05 season, when he was criticized for how the CCA handled its television programming.Parkes immediately helped with the amalgamation of the Canadian Ladies Curling Association and Curl Canada into the Canadian Curling Association in 1990.The CCA had sold the rights to television broadcasts of the Tim Hortons Brier, Scott Tournament of Hearts and Ford World Curling Championship to the CBC.This was criticized by many in the curling community, as the CBC did not show some games on the main network, and had other disorganized scheduling problems
Edited sentence: A Winnipeg native, Parkes joined the curling body in Ottawa in 1988 as its general manager and became its chief executive officer in 2000.Parkes also led the development of a very positive relationship with the World Curling Players’ Association.Parkes immediately helped with the amalgamation of the Canadian Ladies Curling Association and Curl Canada into the Canadian Curling Association in 1990 and during the remainder of his tenure, highlights have included the creation of the sport’s Season of Champions; a series of national and international championships, which have provided, on average, 175 hours of television coverage annually, more than any other amateur sport in Canada.The transformation of the CCA into one of the most successful and respected national sport organizations in the country; he forged strong and influential relationships at the international level,  made the use of “business language” common place within curling and leaves the sport poised to benefit from the most enviable television agreement in amateur sport through its internalized national marketing initiatives which was also part of Parkes’ vision for the future of the CCA