Original sentence: After conquering the last independent Chinese state in 221 BCE, Qin Shi Huang was the king of a state of Qin ruling over the whole of China, a previously unprecedented accomplishment.His death occurred on September 10, 210 BCE (Julian Calendar) at the palace in Shaqiu prefecture, about two months away by road from the capital Xianyang.Qin Shi Huang () (November / December 260 BCE – September 10, 210 BCE), personal name Zheng, was king of the Chinese State of Qin from 247 BCE to 221 BCE, and then the first emperor of a unified China from 221 BCE to 210 BCE, ruling under the name First Emperor.The competition was extremely fierce and by 260 BCE there were only a handful of states left (the others having been conquered and annexed), but Zheng's state, Qin, was the most powerful.Zheng ascended the throne in 247 BCE at the age of 12 and a half, and was king under a regent until 238 BCE when, at the age of 21 and a half, he staged a palace coup and assumed full power
Edited sentence: After conquering the last independent Chinese state in 221 BC, Qin Shi Huang was the king of a state of Qin ruling over the whole of China, a previously unprecedented accomplishment.His death occurred on September 10, 210 BC (Julian Calendar) at the palace in Shaqiu prefecture, about two months away by road from the capital Xianyang.Qin Shi Huang () (November / December 260 BC – September 10, 210 BC), personal name Zheng, was king of the Chinese State of Qin from 247 BC to 221 BC, and then the first emperor of a unified China from 221 BC to 210 BC, ruling under the name First Emperor.The competition was extremely fierce and by 260 BC there were only a handful of states left (the others having been conquered and annexed), but Zheng's state, Qin, was the most powerful.Zheng ascended the throne in 247 BC at the age of 12 and a half, and was king under a regent until 238 BCE when, at the age of 21 and a half, he staged a palace coup and assumed full power