Original sentence: At the outset of the war Serb forces began to target the Bosniak civilian population.Before the Bosnian war started Bosniaks in Eastern Bosnia had already begun to be removed from their employment; be ostracised and their freedom to move was curtailed.Bosniak houses and apartments were systematically ransacked or burnt down while civilians were rounded up, sometimes being beaten or killed in the process.Once towns and villages were secured the military, the police, the paramilitaries and, sometimes, even Serb villagers continued these attacks.They separated men and women and detained many of the men in local camps
Edited sentence: At the outset of the Bosnian war, Serb forces attacked the non-Serb civilian population in Eastern Bosnia.Men and women were separated, with many of the men detained in local camps.Once towns and villages were securely in their hands, Serb forces - i.the military, the police, the paramilitaries and, sometimes, even Serb villagers – applied the same pattern: Bosniak houses and apartments were systematically ransacked or burnt down while Bosniak civilians were rounded up or captured and, sometimes, beaten or killed in the process