Original sentence: In June 2010, she caused a minor controversy when she aired her views that the newly appointed Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard was potentially a poor role model, as Gillard was not married and living in a defacto relationship
Edited sentence: Containing only passing references to sociological evidence for her claims on a Sydney Morning Herald blog, Bettina demonstrated deeply classist values suggesting that it was inappropriate for those without significant fame and wealth to have children out of wedlock.In 2010, Bettina caused some controversy when she aired archaic anti de facto rhetoric aimed at Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard.The call for voluntary submission of women to traditionally sexist monogamist relationships (the endurance of which for childrens’ sake can be incredibly psychologically damaging) conveyed a thorough disregard for womens’ rights to control their own bodies, and flew in the face of overwhelming public opinion (from that same article’s polls and interviews) suggesting that she has grown out of touch with modern relationships