Original sentence: It sets a fictional love story against a pseudo-historical version of an actual tragedy of the Mountain Meadows massacre of September 11, 1857, when a wagon train of emigrants was attacked by a small group of Mormon militiamen and Paiute Indians and more than 120 men, women, and children were killed
Edited sentence: It sets a fictional, contrived love story against a pseudo-historical version of an actual tragedy of the Mountain Meadows massacre of September 11, 1857, when a wagon train of emigrants was attacked by a small group of Mormon militiamen and Paiute Indians and more than 120 men, women, and children were killed