Original sentence: Mayor Fennell was a city councillor, then a regional councillor, prior to becoming Mayor.Previously she was a founder and commissioner of the National Women's Hockey League, and involved in the Brampton Board of Trade, Downtown Business Improvement Area, and Sheridan College Board of Governors
Edited sentence: Mayor Fennell served as a city councillor, then a regional councillor, prior to becoming Mayor.Previously she was commissioner of the National Women's Hockey League, and involved in the Brampton Board of Trade, Downtown Business Improvement Area, and Sheridan College Board of Governors