Original sentence: After her graduation in 1993, Watson began working at the National Institute for Research in Dairying.Her father, David M.Janet Watson grew up with alongside her sister, Katharine Mary in South Hampstead and attended the local school.Parker, did research in embryology prior to marriage.She became bored with her job and went on to teach biology at Wentworth School, Bournemouth before deciding to become a geologist by the end of World War II.She was born 1 September 1923 in Hampstead, London.Watson graduated with a first class honours degree in biology and geology in 1943
Edited sentence: After her graduation in 1993, Janet began working at the National Institute for Research in Dairying.Her father,David M.Janet became bored with her job and went on to teach biology at Wentworth School, Bournemouth before deciding to become a geologist by the end of World War II.Janet excelled in her studies and graduated with a first class honours degree in biology and geology in 1943.Parker, did research in embryology before marrying Janet's father.She was born 1 September 1923 in Hampstead, London into an intellectual stimulating English household.Watson grew up with alongside her sister, Katharine Mary in South Hampstead and attended the local school