Original sentence: Personal matters aside, Many believe McMahon was a highly efficient minister and an excellent Treasurer, and  that he may well have made a good PM if he had been ten years younger, if he had had the support of his colleagues, and if he had not been in charge of a government that the electorate had grown tired of
Edited sentence: He might have made a good PM if he had been ten years younger, if he had had the support of his colleagues, and if he had not been in charge of a government that the electorate had grown tired of.Personal matters aside, McMahon was a highly efficient minister and an excellent Treasurer