Original sentence: Following the post World War II arrival of immigrants from the commonwealth group of nations into Britain, a sizeable Black Caribbean and Indian/Pakistani community grew up in this small market town, and now represents  7% of the population in the Borough and to 11% within the town
Edited sentence: A sizeable Black Caribbean and Indian/Pakistani community grew up in this small market town, and now represents  7% of the population in the Borough and to 11% within the town.Following the post World War II arrival of immigrants from the commonwealth group of nations into Britain, Wellingborough was seen as an attractive location for many who chose to work in the many local industries, most of which are now extinct