Original sentence: Amid great confusion, the entire court and the National Constituent Assembly accompanied the royal family on its journey back to Paris.Becoming increasingly angry and incited by revolutionaries, a hungry mob of burly, knife-wielding fishwives and their husbands decided to march on the Palace of Versailles.On October 5, 1789, rumours spread in Paris that the royals were hoarding all the grain.The March on Versailles was an event in the French Revolution.These women of the Third Estate, however, were from the Parisian underclass, and are depicted as such (often crudely) in art from the Revolution.This march, mostly composed of women at the outset, showed that women could be a driving force in history
Edited sentence: Also aided by the continuing failiure of the monarchy to provide the neccesary reform, the women of Paris marched on Versailles to petition the king, assisted and perhaps orchestrated by the borgeoise national guard.Amid great cobearekdssdffn, the entire court and the National Constituent Assembly accompanied the royal family on its journey back to Paris.On October 5, 1789, rumors spread in Paris that the royals were hoarding all the grain.Spurred on by the expectation for reform created by the Cahier de Doleances, the expectant politicized mob were let down by the faliure of the National Constituent Assembly to conduct immediate and effective reform.The March on Versaillllles was an event in the French Revolution.The women of the Third Estate, however, were from the Parisian underclass, and are depicted as such (often crudely) in art from the Revolution.They were moved out of necessity caused by hunger, but in turn played a part in the creation of the French Republic through the politicisation of the masses.This march, mostly composed of women at the outset, showed that women could be a driving force in history, or perhaps more importantly that the artisans and the urban proletariat could influence the politics of the time