Original sentence: After Star leaves, Marigold looses it and paints herself white.Dolphin hates Mickey while Star adores him.Dolphin stays loyal to Marigold and stays with her while Star runs off with Mickey.Later on in the book, Dolphin befriends Oliver, a nerdy boy who lives in the library, really hiding from bullies.She meets up with her dad who tells her that in a while she could stay with his wife and two girls.She takes Mickey back to her place and Mickey spends heaps of time with Star and Dolphin.So Dolphin stays in a foster home with an kind old woman and a lot of young children.Star on the other hand is really popular and hangs around heaps of kids.The story ends happily with Marigold and Star reuniting again and saying that they had each other.When Marigold buys tickets to an Emerald City (her favourite band) reunion concert, she meets Mickey, Star's dad and Marigold's love for ages.With Marigold in hospital, Oliver tells Dolphin to contact her dad who she knows nothing about
Edited sentence: After Star leaves, Marigold has a mental break down and paints herself white using toxic paint.Dolphin stays loyal to her mother and stays with her while Star runs off with Mickey.Dolphin strongly dislikes Mickey while Star adores him.Later on in the book Dolphin befriends Oliver, a studious yet unpopular boy who spends large amounts of time in the library hiding from bullies.She meets up with her dad who tells her that in a while she could stay with his wife and two girls so until then, Dolphin stays in a foster home with a kind old woman and a lot of young children.She takes Mickey back to her place and Mickey spends time with Star and Dolphin.Star on the other hand is very popular.The story ends happily with Marigold and Star reuniting again relising they are content in eachothers' company.This is because she feels Star has left her because of Star's Outward dislike of her mother's tatoos.When Marigold buys tickets to an Emerald City (her favourite band) reunion concert, she meets Mickey, Star's dad and Marigold's true love.With Marigold in hospital, Oliver tells Dolphin to contact her dad who she knows nothing about, except that his name is also Mickey