Original sentence: Confusion could also be caused by the many storylines.However, readers have complained that the saga is too long, delivering unnecessary details about characters' personalities, while introducing dozens of similar characters
Edited sentence: K Rowling, etc.On the downside readers have complained that the saga is too long, delivers unnecessary details about characters' personalities, whilst introducing 1000's of characters who are somehow easy to forget, and there are hundreds of storylines.This is probably due to the fact that editors sometimes recognize the money brought in by writers such as Hamilton, J.and ignore the flaws in their talents, resulting in massive books