Original sentence: A religious conversion and substantial civic involvement added different dimensions to his  business background.Four years down the road, at  45 years of age, a new Jeb Bush emerged, and launched a second bid to win the governor’s race in 1998 — this time, succeeding.In addition to his business, civic, and charitable activities, Jeb Bush underwent a religious conversion during his early career years
Edited sentence: A life-changing religious conversion and substantial civic involvement added different dimensions to his strong business background.Four years down the road, at a more mature and seasoned 45 years of age, a new Jeb Bush emerged, and launched a second bid to win the governor’s race in 1998 — this time, succeeding.In addition to his successful business career and active civic life, Jeb Bush underwent a religious conversion during his early career years