Original sentence: He returned to England and proposed to his father that he should visit the family estates in the West Indies.His father accepted the proposal and he remained in Demerara at the plantations for three months between November 1828 and March 1829.In 1827 he accompanied his brother Thomas to Italy and saw Vesuvius erupt
Edited sentence: His father accepted the proposal.In 1827 he accompanied his brother Thomas to Italy and whilst there viewed an eruption of Vesuvius.In Demerara he remained at the plantations for three months between November 1828 and March 1829.On his return to England he proposed to his father that he should visit the family estates in the West Indies