Original sentence: Much of the Lone Star staff, including its owner Redewill, became victims of the AIDS devastation which swept San Francisco, which caused a turnover at the top of the fledgling Bear marketing "industry"
Edited sentence: Unfortunately, much of the Lone Star staff, including its owner Redewill, became victims of the AIDS devastation which swept San Francisco, which caused a turnover at the top of the fledgling Bear marketing "industry"