Original sentence: While Paul's assertions have received criticism from some, other reports have found that Ron Paul is factually correct with his assertion; as cited in the 9/11 Commission Report, Osama bin Laden's 1996 fatwa called "Declaration of War against the Americans Occupying the Land of the Two Holy Places," published in Britain, reveals his anger with American policies as his reason for declaring a fatwa
Edited sentence: Ron Paul is factually correct with his assertion; as cited in the 9/11 Commission Report, Osama bin Laden's 1996 fatwa called "Declaration of War against the Americans Occupying the Land of the Two Holy Places," published in Britain, reveals his anger with American policies as his reason for declaring a fatwa