Original sentence: George Segal's 1978 cast-from-life bronze sculpture Abraham and Isaac, was commissioned for the Kent State campus by a private fund for public art, but was not accepted by the university administration who deemed its subject matter (the biblical Abraham poised to sacrifice his son Isaac) too controversial
Edited sentence: George Segal's 1978 cast-from-life bronze sculpture Abraham and Isaac, was commissioned for the Kent State campus by a private fund for public art but refused by the university administration which deemed its subject matter (the biblical Abraham poised to sacrifice his son Isaac) too controversial