Original sentence: During the current session of 2006/07 the school band has already achieved a Gold award at the national concert band festival, and on March the 30th, 2007 - the OLHS school band attained a GOLD award at the National Concert Band Festival.It is the only school in the country which has a war memorial chapel as part of its original design, currently the school's chaplain is Father Stephen Millar.The school grounds are large; accommodating two large ash parks, a basketball court; and an extensive yard in which morning assemblies are held
Edited sentence: During the current session of 2006/07 the school band has already achieved a Gold award at the national concert band festival, and on March the 30th, 2007 - the OLHS school band attained a GOLD award at the National Concert Band Festival; which was well deserved.It is the only school in the country which has a war memorial chapel as part of it's original design, currently the school's chaplain is Father Stephen Millar.The school grounds are large; accomodating two large ash parks, a basketball court; and an extensive yard in which morning assemblies are held.Well done guys