Original sentence: "the richness of the soil, the bright foliage of the shrubs, the majesty of the surrounding trees, the abrupt and red coloured banks of the River occassionally seen, and the view of the blue mountains from which we were not far distant, made the scenery around this spot as bieutiful as anything of the kind I had ever witnessed.During October the annual 'Spring in the Valley' weekend occurs which seeks to increase tourism into the area.It is bordered to the east by the Darling Scarp,  it occurs in the City of Swan local government area.Stirling was so impressed with the area the he wrote in his diary.The area was explored in 1827 by the then Captian James Stirling later to become Governor of the Swan River Colony.The valley is notable for its highly fertile soil, uncommon in Perth area, numerous wineries including Houghton, Sandalford and Lamont's, several  microbreweries and a rum distillery.When Stirling returned to establish the Colony in 1829 he created three settlements Frementle as the port, Perth as the main settlement and Guildford on the southern end of the Swan Valley region
Edited sentence: It includes the suburbs of Herne Hill.It is bordered to the east by the Darling Scarp.It occurs mainly in the City of Swan local government area.It was explored very early in the time of first European Settlement - known as the Swan River Colony, and several of the 'original families' still have real estate in the valley.The valley is notable for its highly fertile soil (uncommon in Western Australia), numerous wineries including Houghton, Sandalford and Lamont's, several  microbreweries and a rum distillery.There is an annual 'Spring in the Valley' weekend which seeks to increase tourism into the area.Whilst many of the older wineries were started by immigrants from countries with long traditions of wine-making, the majority of them are now owned by large companies, often multi-nationals