Original sentence: Ian Eloff (1973), Member of the XV Olympic Winter Games organizing committee, built the computer system used to score and manage the games so crucial to the success of the entire games, rather ironic as his country was purposely excluded from Olympic games, and as would be expected from an old Andrean, all went flawlessly
Edited sentence: Ian Eloff (1973), Member of the XV Olympic Winter Games organizing committee, built the computer system used to score and manage the games that is always so crucial to the success of the entire games, rather ironic as his country was purposely excluded from Olympic games, and as would be expected from an old Andrean, all went flawlessly