Original sentence: Furthermore, social networking sites have allowed individuals to truly express themselves, as they are able to create an identity and socialize with other individuals that can relate.Moreover, 58% of women and 45% of men don't look into the camera, which creates an illusion of withdrawal.The ways in which people communicate and socialize have also started to change due to advancements in technology
Edited sentence: More importantly, social networking sites have allowed individuals to truly express themselves, as they are able to create an identity and socialize with other individuals that can relate.More shockingly, 58% of women and 45% of men don't  look into the camera, which creates an illusion of withdrawal.The ways in which people communicate and socialize have also started to change in parallel with advancements in technology.Until then, gender will never truly be equal, which is a problem