Original sentence: Evidence suggests that his business empire was built on debt and deception.He was not popular in the Labour Party, having what was perceived to be an arrogant and domineering manner.Ian Robert Maxwell (June 10, 1923 – November 5, 1991), British media proprietor, rose from poverty to build a great publishing empire, but was revealed after his mysterious death to have been, probably, a corporate criminal on a massive scale
Edited sentence: He was not popular in the Labour Party, having an arrogant and domineering manner.Ian Robert Maxwell (June 10, 1923 – November 5, 1991), British media proprietor, rose from poverty to build a great publishing empire, but was revealed after his mysterious death to have been a corporate criminal on a massive scale.In fact his business empire was built on debt and deception