Original sentence: Bloody April 1917 was a terrible month for the battered Royal Flying Corps; it had fallen behind the Germans in aircraft technology, and its airmen paid in blood for the failure.On the 8th, he achieved his first success as a balloon buster by downing an observation balloon
Edited sentence: Bloody April, 1917 was a terrible month for the battered Royal Flying Corps; it had fallen behind the Germans in aircraft technology, and its airmen paid in blood for the failure.On the 8th, he achieved his first success as a balloon buster, with all its extraordinary hazards, by downing an observation balloon