Original sentence: Goldman (1999) discussed the possible trauma of circumcision on children and parents, anxieties over the circumcised state, a tendency to repeat the trauma, and suggested a need on the part of circumcised doctors to find medical justifications for the procedure
Edited sentence: , however, in the following year, Goldman (1999) discussed the extent to which circumcision may cause emotional harm to males.Goldman reported the trauma of circumcision on children and parents, anxieties over the circumcised state, a tendency to repeat the trauma, and a need on the part of circumcised doctors to find medical justifications