Original sentence: Harry Benson, an unimpressive man in his 30s, is a sufferer of psychomotor epilepsy and the character around which the novel centers and derives its name.He informs the reader that such active research in behavior modification isn't merely a potential threat in the distant future, he cites examples of how it is occurring now, specifically in regard to trying to curtail psychomotor epilepsy
Edited sentence: Harry Benson, an unimpressively characterized man in his 30s, is a sufferer of psychomotor epilepsy and the character around which the novel centers and derives its name.He attempts to tell the reader that such active research in behavior modification isn't merely a potential threat in the distant future, he cites examples of how it is occurring now, specifically in regard to trying to curtail psychomotor epilepsy