Original sentence: After Ian Smith left the band, Renée Geyer was the singer for twelve months of the band's existence and performed on the album.Renee Geyer went on to become a figure in the popular music scene.Slavich went on to perform with leading rock band  in Australia.The "Free Time" album consists of Shadwick on piano and reeds playing his own compositions and features Robert Lucky, and Justin Mcoy on bass guitar with some incendiary drumming by original partner Gary Norwell
Edited sentence: After Ian Smith left the band, Renée Geyer was the singer for twelve months of the band's existence and performed impressively on the album and at gigs around Sydney.Renee Geyer went on to become a  celebrated figure in the popular music scene.The "Free Time" album consists of Shadwick on piano and reeds playing his own compositions and features Robert Lucky, and Justin Mcoy on bass guitar with some energetic and inventive drumming by original musical partner Gary Norwell.The Sun album was Geyer's first recording