Original sentence: Though Barthelemy took a pro-business stance, his unfocused, laissez-faire approach to attacking the city's problems was harmful in the post-oil bust period, as it was during his and his successor's mayoralties that New Orleans lost its remaining attractiveness as a center for corporate white collar employment
Edited sentence: Though Barthelemy took a pro-business stance, his unfocused, laissez-faire approach to attacking the city's problems was harmful in the post-oil bust period; it was during his and his successor's mayoralties that New Orleans lost its remaining attractiveness as a center for corporate white collar employment