Original sentence: For example, the drop from the summit to the forest edge is 8,000 feet (2,430 m) in approximately 4 miles (6.4 km).It is located approximately 6 miles (9 km) north of Mount Whitney, the highest peak in the contiguous US, and about 2.5 miles (4 km) southeast of Shepherd Pass, the nearest trail access.It lies about 1 mile (1.6 km) east of the Sierra Crest, which forms the western edge of the Owens Valley.Robert Stockton Williamson (1825-1882), who conducted one of the Pacific Railroad Surveys in Southern California.The closest town is Independence, California, about 12 miles (19 km) north-north-east of the peak in the Owens Valley
Edited sentence: For example, the drop from the summit to the forest edge is  in approximately.It is located approximately  north of Mount Whitney, the highest peak in the contiguous US, and about  southeast of Shepherd Pass, the nearest trail access.It lies about  east of the Sierra Crest, which forms the western edge of the Owens Valley.Robert Stockton Williamson (1825–1882), who conducted one of the Pacific Railroad Surveys in Southern California.The closest town is Independence, California, about  north-north-east of the peak in the Owens Valley