Original sentence: A tall, misfit youth undergoes the "RAT" (Radical Anxiety Termination) procedure, a form of psychosurgery which makes him a passive slave, after which he is known as Rat Korga.On one of the Sygn worlds, Velm, where sexual relationships take many forms—monogamous, promiscuous, anonymous, and interspecies—Marq Dyeth, an "industrial diplomat" who liaises with alien cultures, is informed that Rat Korga is his perfect sexual match by a former connection in the powerful and mysterious WEB.Soon after, Rat Korga must leave the planet and be permanently separated from Dyeth (their pairing having been an alien cultural experiment) because their interaction was creating a threat of cultural fugue.The Thants are humans of another world who were friends of the Dyeth's until deciding to align themselves with the Family who has promised them the position of "focus unit"  on another world, Nepiy, making them effectively rulers of that planet.The WEB sends Rat Korga to Velm under the guise of a student and he and Marq begin a romantic affair
Edited sentence: Korga, a tall, misfit youth, undergoes the "RAT" (Radical Anxiety Termination) procedure, a form of psychosurgery which makes him a passive slave, after which he is known as Rat Korga.On one of the Sygn worlds, Velm, where sexual relationships take many forms—monogamous, promiscuous, anonymous, and interspecies—Marq Dyeth, an "industrial diplomat" who helps manage the transfer of technology between different societies, is informed that Rat Korga is his perfect sexual match by a former connection in the powerful and mysterious WEB.Soon after, Rat Korga must leave Velm and be permanently separated from Marq (their pairing having been an alien cultural experiment) because their interaction was creating a threat of cultural fugue.The Thants are humans of another world who were friends of the Dyeths until deciding to align themselves with the Family, which has promised them the position of "focus unit" on another world, Nepiy, making them effectively rulers of that planet.The WEB sends Rat Korga to Velm under the pretext that he is a student, and he and Marq begin a romantic affair