Original sentence: Cal Poly Pomona is one of the most selective schools in the nation and, along with Cal Poly San Luis Obispo, one of the two most selective schools in the CSU system.In 2005, 17,252 prospective freshmen applied to Cal Poly for entrance in Fall 2006, with 4,121 applicants being accepted—a 24% acceptance rate.This makes Cal Poly Pomona the university with the lowest acceptance rate in both the University of California and the California State University systems,  followed by Berkeley at 27%, UCLA at 27%, UC San Diego at 42%, and Cal Poly San Luis Obispo at 37%
Edited sentence: Cal Poly Pomona compared to other California Public Universities:  Berkeley at 27%, UCLA at 27%, UC San Diego at 42%, and Cal Poly San Luis Obispo at 37%.Difficulty to obtain admissions into Cal Poly Pomona is relatively low compared to Cal Poly San Luis Obispo or UC campuses.In 2007, approximately 22,000 prospective freshmen applied to Cal Poly Pomona for Fall 2007, with approximately 10,000 applicants being accepted—a 45% acceptance rate.This statistic is often misused and confused, by various sources (such as yahoo.com), individuals, and Cal Poly Pomona itself, with the statistic citing the amount of students who actually accept the admission to attend, which averages at about 4,000 students