Original sentence: He became a werewolf when on a holiday to Scotland when he went out for a walk with an American tourist, getting lost prior to being attacked by a werewolf who kills the tourist and scratches George, who survived when the rescue services found him
Edited sentence: He became a werewolf when on a holiday to Scotland he went out for a walk with an American tourist, getting lost prior to being attacked by a werewolf who kills the tourist and scratches George, who survived when the rescue services found him