Original sentence: Absence of adequate controls to prevent bribery or so-called "campaign donations.Apathetic, uninterested, or gullible populace that fails to give adequate attention to political processes.Concentration of power in decisionmakers not directly accountable to the people as often seen in non-democratic regimes.Lack of government transparency in decisionmaking
Edited sentence: An apathetic and uninterested, or gullible and easily led demos that does not scrutinise the political process sufficiently.Concentration of decision-making power: non-democratic regimes.Democracies actually encourage corruption through campaign donations and subsequent bribery of government officials.Lack of government transparency in decision-making