Original sentence: In a commentary in The Guardian, Annie Proulx—the author of the short story on which Brokeback Mountain was based—harshly lashed out at the selection of Crash, labeling it "Trash" and denouncing Academy voters as "living cloistered lives behind wrought-iron gates or in deluxe rest-homes, out of touch not only with the shifting larger culture and the yeasty ferment that is America these days, but also out of touch with their own segregated city"; calling the attendees a "somewhat dim LA crowd," she suggested that "Next year we can look to the awards for controversial themes on the punishment of adulterers with a branding iron in the shape of the letter A, runaway slaves, and the debate over free silver
Edited sentence: In a commentary in The Guardian, Annie Proulx—the author of the short story on which Brokeback Mountain was based—harshly lashed out at the selection of Crash, labeling it "Trash" and denouncing Academy voters as "living cloistered lives behind wrought-iron gates or in deluxe rest-homes, out of touch not only with the shifting larger culture and the yeasty ferment that is America these days, but also out of touch with their own segregated city"; calling the attendees a "somewhat dim LA crowd," she pouted that "Next year we can look to the awards for controversial themes on the punishment of adulterers with a branding iron in the shape of the letter A, runaway slaves, and the debate over free silver