Original sentence: Ablion was deployed to the Black Sea during the Crimean War.Her crew suffered many casualties from Cholera in August 1854]].However, the Allies had taken a beating from the Russian batteries, and Albion had been set on fire three times during the engagement, with 11 killed and 71 injured.On 17 October 1854, Albion, under the command of Commander Henry Rogers joined over 50 British and French warships of various types in an initial seaborne bombardment of Sevastapol.She took part in the siege of Sevastopol, with her commanding officer, Captain Stephen Lushington taking charge of a Naval Brigade providing vital heavy artillery support for the Allied forces besieging Sevastopol.The Anglo-French fleet had received comparatively light casualties, with about 500 killed or wounded in total.The Russians suffered heavy casualties (at least 1100 men) but the Allies had failed to seriously damage the batteries.Without the assistance of tugs , it is probable that Albion would have run aground
Edited sentence: Her first military action was in the Crimean War during the siege of Sevastopol on 17 October 1854.However, the Allies had taken a beating from the Russian batteries, and Albion had been set on fire three times during the engagement.The Russians suffered heavy casualties but the Allies had failed to seriously damaged the batteries, though the Anglo-French fleet had received comparatively light casualties, with about 500 killed or wounded in total.While Albion's commanding officer, Captain Stephen Lushington, was commanding a Naval Brigade providing vital heavy artillery support for the Allied forces besieging Sevastopol, Albion under the command of Commander Henry Rogers joined over 50 British and French warships of various types into action.Without the assistance of the courageous tugs, she would surely have succumbed to her damage and run aground