Original sentence: However, he's recently started solo touring more frequently.If proven right, this could destroy Day's credibility, since he describes himself "as honest as a photobooth" in one of his songs, and is perceived as extremely genuine by his fans.Most of Ronnie's fanbase is on the Internet via his MySpace page.Therefore, it is argued that the story for Ronnie Day's album is entirely fictional and just a marketing campaign
Edited sentence: Especially since he describes himself "as honest as a photobooth" in one of his songs , and is perceived as extremely genuine by his fans.If proven right, this would obviously destroy Day's credibility in a tremendous way.Therefore, it is argued that the story for Ronnie Day's album is entirely fictional and just a marketing campaign by him and his record label, in order to sell more units and make the record appeal to a wider audience