Original sentence: According to tradition, Mary appeared to the young men and exhorted them to devote themselves to her service, in retirement from the world.They retired to the deserted slopes of Monte Senario near Florence, where they experienced another vision of Mary
Edited sentence: The Blessed Virgin appeared to the young men and exhorted them to devote themselves to Her service, in retirement from the world.They retired to the deserted slopes of Monte Senario near Florence, where the Blessed Virgin appeared to them again