Original sentence: A massacre committed by the New Model Army and its commander Oliver Cromwell during the Eleven Years War; also called "the Drogheda Massacre.Following a siege by Cromwell's New Model, Parliamentary troops broke into Wexford after negotiations with the commander of the garrison, David Sinnot, broke down – massacring soldiers and civilians alike
Edited sentence: A notorious example of willful misconduct by the New Model Army and its commander Oliver Cromwell during the Eleven Years War; also called "the Drogheda Massacre.Following a siege by Cromwell's New Model, Parliamentary troops broke into Wexford while the commander of the garrison, David Sinnot, was trying to negotiate a surrender – massacring soldiers and civilians alike