Original sentence: (In 1977, Moon had a notice posted in all Unification Churches in America, mandating that all members write their families no less than once every 10 days.In a move seen by some critics as an attempt to distance themselves from the '70s notoriety of "the Moonies", Moon's groups now prefer to be identified in conjunction with more neutral organizational titles, such as the Family Federation for World Peace.Moon called these criticisms nonsense and claimed in 1976 that he had received many thank you letters from parents whose children became closer to them after joining the movement.The Moonie absolute sex organization Free Teens USA met with controversy in 2003 when critics publicized its receipt of half a million dollars from the US Department of Health for an abstinence-only program in public schools that critics claimed concealed its ties to Reverend Moon.Unificationists gained a reputation for high-pressure recruitment, and critics charged that they separated vulnerable college students from their families.Unificationists now rarely call one another "Moonie" and deem the word, when used by outsiders, slightly demeaning (but nowhere near as offensive as a racial epithet such as "nigger")
Edited sentence: The Moonie absolute sex organization Free Teens USA met with controversy in 2003 when it emerged that it had received half a million dollars from the Department of Health for an abstinence-only program in public schools that concealed its ties to Reverend Moon.To distance themselves from the '70s notoriety of the Moonies -- who gained a reputation for high-pressure recruitment that separated vulnerable college students from their families -- Moon's groups now prefer to be identified in conjunction with more neutral organizational titles, such as the Family Federation for World Peace.Unificationists now rarely call one another "Moonie" and deem the word, when used by outsiders, slightly demeaning (but nowhere near as offensive as a racial epithet such as "nigger"