Original sentence: Simon Fowler commenced his music career as the lead singer and songer writer for Birmingham band 'The Fanatics' who comprised Simon Fowler (vocals & guitar), Damon Minchella (bass), Paul Wilkes (guitar)and Caroline Bullock (drums)
Edited sentence: Simon Fowler commenced his music career as the lead singer and songwriter for Birmingham band 'The Fanatics' who comprised Simon Fowler (vocals & guitar), Damon Minchella (bass), Paul Wilkes (guitar)and Caroline Bullock (drums)