Original sentence: " He said the boy was an avid reader by age 5, an accomplished pianist and a keen Mac fan.Although he had a successful reporting and consulting business (The dePlume Organization, LLC) by the tenth grade, and already quite successfull, very few people at school knew anything about his online alter ego.The ones who did were mostly teachers
Edited sentence: " He said the boy was an avid reader by age 5, an accomplished pianist and, most notably, a keen Mac fan.Although he had a successful reporting and consulting business (The dePlume Organization, LLC) by the tenth grade, and already quite successfull, Ciarelli didn't let his success go to his head.The ones who did, mostly teachers, were quite impressed.Very few people at school knew anything about his online alter ego