Original sentence: He played rugby for Cartha Queens Park RFC.He was 32 years old, and a sergeant in the 17th Battalion (Glasgow Commercials), The Highland Light Infantry, British Army during the Battle of the Somme in First World War.He was awarded the VC for his actions on 1 July 1916 at Leipzig Salient, Authuille, France, where Turnbull's party captured a post of apparent importance, and defended it "almost single-handed[ly]"
Edited sentence: Before World War I, he played rugby for Cartha Queens Park RFC.He was 32 years old.He was a sergeant in the 17th Battalion (Glasgow Commercials), The Highland Light Infantry, British Army during the Battle of the Somme in First World War.On 1 July 1916, Turnbull was awarded the VC for his actions at Leipzig Salient, Authuille, France, where Turnbull's party captured a post of apparent importance, and defended it "almost single-handed[ly]"