Original sentence: Merchant seamen were dying within nine hours of the outbreak of war on 3 September 1939 when  torpedoed the passenger carrying ocean liner  and then surfaced to attack the sinking ship with gunfire, destroying her radio room, she sank with the loss of 118 lives (including women and children)
Edited sentence: Merchant seamen were dying within nine hours of the outbreak of war on 3 September 1939 when  torpedoed the passenger carrying ocean liner  and then surfaced to attack the sinking ship with gunfire, destroying her radio room, she sank with the loss of 118 lives (including women and children, some being US Citizens)